maximus
+0 -2
Clap on, Clap off!
Clap on, Clap off!
purplehaze
+2 -0
Beef and Molly could write novels based on what they do in bed
Beef and Molly could write novels based on what they do in bed
awko
+10 -0
Paging Dr Manflesh. Dr Manflesh to the fan-fic ward immediately.
Paging Dr Manflesh. Dr Manflesh to the fan-fic ward immediately.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
Get me three crudely drawn representations of Wolverine doing Batman, stat.
Get me three crudely drawn representations of Wolverine doing Batman, stat.
drskradley
+1 -0
I started to look, then I decided to not.
I started to look, then I decided to not.
flynn
+0 -0
Chubby for personal restraint
Chubby for personal restraint
dangelder
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
pogo
+0 -0
Where was her neck back then?
Where was her neck back then?
i_love_kate
+5 -0
Man, if she'd known a picture was being taken when she was lying down she would have pulled those covers right up over her head.
Man, if she'd known a picture was being taken when she was lying down she would have pulled those covers right up over her head.
odei
+8 -0
Chubby for the idea that Achewood is either drawn from photographic references or that it is in fact made from photos.
Chubby for the idea that Achewood is either drawn from photographic references or that it is in fact made from photos.
krispykorn
+0 -0
You mean it's... not ?
You mean it's... not ?
retinarow
+1 -0
What do you think is in the subscriber zone?
What do you think is in the subscriber zone?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
it was suggested that a nonstop orgy of blood and guts was on the menu.
it was suggested that a nonstop orgy of blood and guts was on the menu.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Although it has been revealed that the actual function of the "blunderbuss" was to coat LN in an exact replica of the Welsh brothers' clothing.
How many more of them were harvested in this manner?
Although it has been revealed that the actual function of the "blunderbuss" was to coat LN in an exact replica of the Welsh brothers' clothing.
How many more of them were harvested in this manner?
daidai
+2 -0
three
three
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Thanks!
Thanks!
daidai
+1 -0
...and with the newfound trust of i_love_kate, step 3 of Operation:Kill i_love_kate began.
"Four more steps to go" thought daidai.
He would not survive long enough to see his plan reach fruition .
...and with the newfound trust of i_love_kate, step 3 of Operation:Kill i_love_kate began.
"Four more steps to go" thought daidai.
He would not survive long enough to see his plan reach fruition .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
daidai never made it back home...
daidai never made it back home...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
"Thanks... for everything," murmured I_Love_Kate, snapping his cellphone shut with a decisive sound, a half jovial, half self-assured smile playing across his features.
"Thanks... for everything," murmured I_Love_Kate, snapping his cellphone shut with a decisive sound, a half jovial, half self-assured smile playing across his features.
krispykorn
+0 -0
Wait, wait wait. What's happening
Wait, wait wait. What's happening
maximus
+19 -0
Teo, Teo, Teo
[IMGS OFF]
Of all the characters in Achewood, he was the most
...human.
Teo, Teo, Teo
[IMGS OFF]
Of all the characters in Achewood, he was the most
...human.
troy_convers
+0 -0
Queue Lyle on the bagpipes.
Queue Lyle on the bagpipes.
drskradley
+0 -0
If nobody has seen it yet, you should all see it.
A tale of the Forbiddens, known only by darkest thoughts and desires:
[url=https://https://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY][IMGS OFF][/url]
(click picture for link, if only it works)
If nobody has seen it yet, you should all see it.
A tale of the Forbiddens, known only by darkest thoughts and desires:
[url=https://https://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY][IMGS OFF][/url]
(click picture for link, if only it works)
drskradley
+1 -0
(it did not.)
https://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY
(it did not.)
https://au.youtube.com/watch?v=3uxTpyCdriY
rowboat
+0 -0
That's too much to expect from Assetbar. You know this.
That's too much to expect from Assetbar. You know this.
methadone
+3 -0
T is so aware of his epic failure that he can't sleep until penance has been paid
T is so aware of his epic failure that he can't sleep until penance has been paid
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
It seems to be working. His eyes are at least 30% smaller than in the reception scene, and his eyebrows have moved an inch or so downward. The lad will be alright.
It seems to be working. His eyes are at least 30% smaller than in the reception scene, and his eyebrows have moved an inch or so downward. The lad will be alright.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
His penance is to listen to their bizarre (totally hot) mating rituals for the next several hours
His penance is to listen to their bizarre (totally hot) mating rituals for the next several hours
rascaldom
+0 -0
You can just hear his inner jealousy and lust and bitterness. Why do you torture yourself T?
You can just hear his inner jealousy and lust and bitterness. Why do you torture yourself T?
metatronatra
+10 -0
Something about a girl who shops at PayLess is just so goddamned dirty and it TURNS A DOGG ON
Something about a girl who shops at PayLess is just so goddamned dirty and it TURNS A DOGG ON
ethelthefrog
+4 -0
ahem...I, uh...I...shop at Payless.
ahem...I, uh...I...shop at Payless.
sncether
+3 -0
BoGo a-go-go
BoGo a-go-go
snidedk
+3 -0
How you doin'?
How you doin'?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
So, uh, want to get a drink? What are your feelings on manacles?
So, uh, want to get a drink? What are your feelings on manacles?
professorhazard
+11 -0
What news from the north?
What news from the north?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
44 minutes. Nice catch. I was hoping to see some sort of goofy RPG/news from the north crossover here, but I applaud your speed prof
44 minutes. Nice catch. I was hoping to see some sort of goofy RPG/news from the north crossover here, but I applaud your speed prof
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I will continue chubbying "what news from the north" posts even if I am the only one left. It's just you and me, prof, up against the world!
I will continue chubbying "what news from the north" posts even if I am the only one left. It's just you and me, prof, up against the world!
tekende
+0 -0
As will I, as long as I have a chubby to spare when they appear. And I did this time.
As will I, as long as I have a chubby to spare when they appear. And I did this time.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't get it. Did I miss something? Will someone explain it?
I don't get it. Did I miss something? Will someone explain it?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it's supposed to be like from some Roman gig, someone named Manacles riding back from war and folk yelling 'what news of the [wherever]'.
at least this is my understanding. someone else got a better explanation?
it's supposed to be like from some Roman gig, someone named Manacles riding back from war and folk yelling 'what news of the [wherever]'.
at least this is my understanding. someone else got a better explanation?
laserblade
+0 -0
Specifically, it comes from a discussion of how the plural of "clitoris" is "clitorides," which sounds like the name of a dogg who might have some news from the north. A better man than I can find the exact asset and link you to it.
Specifically, it comes from a discussion of how the plural of "clitoris" is "clitorides," which sounds like the name of a dogg who might have some news from the north. A better man than I can find the exact asset and link you to it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It's here , just search for "clitorides" and you'll see the genesis of this lovely meme, with me unwittingly planting the seed and the professor eagerly impregnating himself with it.
It's here , just search for "clitorides" and you'll see the genesis of this lovely meme, with me unwittingly planting the seed and the professor eagerly impregnating himself with it.
pogo
+0 -0
It's from Braveheart:
Longshanks: What news of the North?
Prince Edward: Nothing new, Your Majesty. We've sent riders to speed any word.
Longshanks: I heard the word in France where I was fighting to expand your future kingdom. The word, my son, is that our entire Northern Army is *annihilated*.
It's from Braveheart:
Longshanks: What news of the North?
Prince Edward: Nothing new, Your Majesty. We've sent riders to speed any word.
Longshanks: I heard the word in France where I was fighting to expand your future kingdom. The word, my son, is that our entire Northern Army is *annihilated*.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
That's a good one, but I'm pretty sure it was this:
From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'
That's a good one, but I'm pretty sure it was this:
From the Gate of Kings the North Wind rides, and past the roaring falls;
And clear and cold about the tower its loud horn calls.
'What news from the North, O mighty wind, do you bring to me today?
What news of Boromir the Bold? For he is long away.'
'Beneath Amon Hen I heard his cry. There many foes he fought.
His cloven shield, his broken sword, they to the water brought.
His head so proud, his face so fair, his limbs they laid to rest;
And Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, bore him upon its breast.'
'O Boromir! The Tower of Guard shall ever northward gaze
To Rauros, golden Rauros-falls, until the end of days.'
invidious
+1 -0
Clitorides? I love that guy!
Clitorides? I love that guy!
speccer
+0 -0
Not as much as I love Gumbercules.
Not as much as I love Gumbercules.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Gumby is a bitch. Pumjesticles is my personal hero
Gumby is a bitch. Pumjesticles is my personal hero
clits
+0 -0
LOVE HIM
LOVE HIM
professorhazard
+0 -0
The truth, fellows, is that the phrase is...
... FROM HISTORY
fuck you theguitarhero
The truth, fellows, is that the phrase is...
... FROM HISTORY
fuck you theguitarhero
theguitarhero
+0 -0
:(
:(
professorhazard
+1 -0
Whew! Somebody's bakin' brownies!
Whew! Somebody's bakin' brownies!
gyrate
+0 -0
FROM OUT THE COLD AND BLOODY NORTH
AN EVIL DEMON SPRANG!!!
IT ATE UP ALL THE LEFTOVERS
AND WASHED THEM DOWN WITH TANG!!!
FROM OUT THE COLD AND BLOODY NORTH
AN EVIL DEMON SPRANG!!!
IT ATE UP ALL THE LEFTOVERS
AND WASHED THEM DOWN WITH TANG!!!
pogo
+0 -0
And the source?
And the source?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Come on Pogo, you don't know where Boromir is from? Considering Lord of the Rings was published during your childhood, your age is no excuse for not knowing this particular reference.
Come on Pogo, you don't know where Boromir is from? Considering Lord of the Rings was published during your childhood, your age is no excuse for not knowing this particular reference.
pogo
+0 -0
Cast of thousands, and all I remember are Frodo and Gandalf.
Cast of thousands, and all I remember are Frodo and Gandalf.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
AND MY AXE.
Oh man, two in one thread.
AND MY AXE.
Oh man, two in one thread.
tekende
+0 -0
On the other hand, I refuse to chubby AND MY AXE posts.
On the other hand, I refuse to chubby AND MY AXE posts.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Clits?
Moist?
Dead?
Clits?
Moist?
Dead?
tekende
+0 -0
Clits sometimes. Moist usually goes along with those, so sometimes.
Dead, rarely. (Assuming you mean the "My ____ died from _____, not funny, not cool," etc.)
Clits sometimes. Moist usually goes along with those, so sometimes.
Dead, rarely. (Assuming you mean the "My ____ died from _____, not funny, not cool," etc.)
invidious
+6 -1
My clits died from lack of moisture, not funny, not cool, not a good thread.
My clits died from lack of moisture, not funny, not cool, not a good thread.
kamet
+0 -0
I chubby clits, just not moist ones. Ya hafta have standards.
I chubby clits, just not moist ones. Ya hafta have standards.
achilleselbow
+5 -0
So you're saying like dry clits? That's like having a thing for flaccid penises.
A man's thing when it's under a skirt is so soft, like a big flower. The trouble is you can never really hold it in your hands, if it would only stay quiet, but it starts moving around like an animal, it gets hard, it frightens me when it's hard and sticking up in the air, it's brutal; God, how rotten love is. I loved Henri because his little thing never got hard, never raised its head...
So you're saying like dry clits? That's like having a thing for flaccid penises.
A man's thing when it's under a skirt is so soft, like a big flower. The trouble is you can never really hold it in your hands, if it would only stay quiet, but it starts moving around like an animal, it gets hard, it frightens me when it's hard and sticking up in the air, it's brutal; God, how rotten love is. I loved Henri because his little thing never got hard, never raised its head...
kamet
+0 -0
Eh, I was going for something infinitely creepy.. and it just didn't pan out for me.
Eh, I was going for something infinitely creepy.. and it just didn't pan out for me.
gyrate
+0 -0
So...we can't give Henri a chubby?
So...we can't give Henri a chubby?
pogo
+0 -0
Good band name, Dry Clits.
Good band name, Dry Clits.
ethelthefrog
+6 -0
But a horrible addition to trail mix.
But a horrible addition to trail mix.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Virtual
Chubby.
Virtual
Chubby.
maximus
+1 -0
You know, using a meme is another way of saying
ME ME!
(say "thank you, coach")
You know, using a meme is another way of saying
ME ME!
(say "thank you, coach")
sdskyle
+1 -0
omg where did u get this?
omg where did u get this?
krispykorn
+0 -0
What is wrong with you ?
What is wrong with you ?
cleanfatback
+0 -0
That is absolutely from that one book i had read. The whole thing was about a dude who couldnt get it up
That is absolutely from that one book i had read. The whole thing was about a dude who couldnt get it up
krispykorn
+0 -0
He didn't even set you up! He set you up through synonyms, which doesn't count .
He didn't even set you up! He set you up through synonyms, which doesn't count .
professorriffs
+0 -0
Baby I got some Red Wings made for doing certain things in a certain room of the house.
Baby I got some Red Wings made for doing certain things in a certain room of the house.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
:O
:O
irondave
+0 -0
Man, that is like the complete opposite of shopping at Payless.
Man, that is like the complete opposite of shopping at Payless.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Going barefoot, I suppose.
Going barefoot, I suppose.
gyrate
+3 -0
Li'l Nephew looks snappy in a tie, although the rest of the outfit makes it look like they're all helpstaff at Home Depot.
Li'l Nephew looks snappy in a tie, although the rest of the outfit makes it look like they're all helpstaff at Home Depot.
riazm
+0 -0
I wonder if this change will result in a change to the blogs.
I wonder if this change will result in a change to the blogs.
pyromancer
+0 -0
Also he's looking pretty fresh for someone so recently pierced by a slug.
Also he's looking pretty fresh for someone so recently pierced by a slug.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Gotta be dead to ride on a ghost car.
Gotta be dead to ride on a ghost car.
kickstart
+0 -0
There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know.
hold me
There are ghost cars all over these highways, you know.
hold me
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'll hold you kickstart. I can protect you from the horrible ghost trains. Just put these pumps on first...
I'll hold you kickstart. I can protect you from the horrible ghost trains. Just put these pumps on first...
daidai
+0 -0
I won't be able to properly convey the sitcom music-cue that came into my mind when I read that comment, but I'll try.
na-Na-na-Na-nana-Na RA-AAPE!
I won't be able to properly convey the sitcom music-cue that came into my mind when I read that comment, but I'll try.
na-Na-na-Na-nana-Na RA-AAPE!
lexsenthur
+1 -1
Adam West's "Rape-Man"?
Adam West's "Rape-Man"?
techiebabe
+0 -0
Oh good, I was afraid those were for me. whew
Oh good, I was afraid those were for me. whew
kickstart
+0 -0
but those make me look cheap, mister robot Dracula!
but those make me look cheap, mister robot Dracula!
krispykorn
+0 -0
MISTER ROBOT DRACULA DON'T GOT MUCH MONEY THIS WEEK MWWWWWA-HA-HA
MISTER ROBOT DRACULA DON'T GOT MUCH MONEY THIS WEEK MWWWWWA-HA-HA
phy
+0 -0
When I was a child, my parents would point out ghost cars on the road. And until they explained what that meant, I was always confused, because they weren't floating or translucent or anything .
When I was a child, my parents would point out ghost cars on the road. And until they explained what that meant, I was always confused, because they weren't floating or translucent or anything .
spinynorman
+1 -0
The only ghost cars I know of are the ones that forever evade Police Chief Wiggum, and maybe that taxi cab the rotting-corpse-guy drives in Ghostbusters.
...
ohhh, I believe it's magic magic...
magic...
The only ghost cars I know of are the ones that forever evade Police Chief Wiggum, and maybe that taxi cab the rotting-corpse-guy drives in Ghostbusters.
...
ohhh, I believe it's magic magic...
magic...
octafish
+4 -0
Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up!
Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up!
professorhazard
+1 -0
How is Elvis, and have you seen him lately?
How is Elvis, and have you seen him lately?
chuvak
+1 -0
Yes, have some.
[IMGS OFF]
Yes, have some.
[IMGS OFF]
aperson
+0 -0
...not cool? not a good strip?
...not cool? not a good strip?
irondave
+0 -0
Kate is looking very fetching in this new iconotar.
Kate is looking very fetching in this new iconotar.
aperson
+0 -0
She is isnt she.
{they both gaze at Kate, heads tilted in calm adoration}
She is isnt she.
{they both gaze at Kate, heads tilted in calm adoration}
squares
+0 -0
i_love_kate
i_love_kate
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Fuck you, that's my gimmick.
Fuck you, that's my gimmick.
retinarow
+3 -1
Molly's family is so old that the family car is a steam train.
Molly's family is so old that the family car is a steam train.
retinarow
+0 -0
(The word "school" can be inserted after "old" as seen necessary.)
(The word "school" can be inserted after "old" as seen necessary.)
heccibiggs
+2 -0
The space of time between your comments makes me think that you spent seven hours fretting about whether or not to add that little extra part.
The space of time between your comments makes me think that you spent seven hours fretting about whether or not to add that little extra part.
retinarow
+2 -0
I was worried.
I was worried.
pwb
+2 -0
the cheap purple pumps
dracula strikes again
the cheap purple pumps
dracula strikes again
postblank
+4 -0
Dracula must be in between jobs, because he never seems to have a lot of money.
Dracula must be in between jobs, because he never seems to have a lot of money.
endoftheworld
+2 -0
Would you hire Dracula? I wouldn't.
Would you hire Dracula? I wouldn't.
professorhazard
+1 -0
Well he certainly can't work during the day.
Well he certainly can't work during the day.
tetsujin
+0 -0
That's alright - it's hard to find people for the night shift...
That's alright - it's hard to find people for the night shift...
i_love_kate
+1 -0
No, it's hard to find people who'll work the nightshift without sneaking up behind their female virgin coworkers and draining their convulsing bodies of blood, turning their coworker into one of their immortal servants of the night.
Which completely fucks up the order of management, let me tell you.
No, it's hard to find people who'll work the nightshift without sneaking up behind their female virgin coworkers and draining their convulsing bodies of blood, turning their coworker into one of their immortal servants of the night.
Which completely fucks up the order of management, let me tell you.
sncether
+58 -1
I AM THE DEATH SOUND
AND I NEED YOU TO COVER FOR ME
BRO
I AM THE DEATH SOUND
AND I NEED YOU TO COVER FOR ME
BRO
woodenteeth
+0 -0
People are looking at me... looking at me because I am laughing at the Internet.
People are looking at me... looking at me because I am laughing at the Internet.
squares
+0 -0
He just really needs to be the Night Manager then.
He just really needs to be the Night Manager then.
tekende
+0 -0
Is it wrong that this kinda turned me on? Or do you agree that it is okay?
Is it wrong that this kinda turned me on? Or do you agree that it is okay?
daidai
+0 -0
for a split second I thought you were referring to sncether's post. For that split second I judged you harshly.
for a split second I thought you were referring to sncether's post. For that split second I judged you harshly.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
THA BLOOD
...
OF THEEZ WHO-O-ORES
...
IS KILLING ME.
THA BLOOD
...
OF THEEZ WHO-O-ORES
...
IS KILLING ME.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Poor Teodor...twice now have we seen him hearing of the pumps .
guy just can't escape them...
Poor Teodor...twice now have we seen him hearing of the pumps .
guy just can't escape them...
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Oh, he knows by now what goes on by that window. Teodor is a man (bear), a lonely man (bear): he has his weak, desparate moments.
Oh, he knows by now what goes on by that window. Teodor is a man (bear), a lonely man (bear): he has his weak, desparate moments.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm warning you people. First person to say some shit like "Teodor is a lonely man (bear (pig)) or shit like that gets pistol whipped
I'm warning you people. First person to say some shit like "Teodor is a lonely man (bear (pig)) or shit like that gets pistol whipped
squares
+0 -0
what kind of pistol? i only ask 'cause i have a friend..that uh...likes that sort of thing. if it's the right pistol.
what kind of pistol? i only ask 'cause i have a friend..that uh...likes that sort of thing. if it's the right pistol.
professorhazard
+1 -0
/pistol whips the shit out of hedonismbot
/pistol whips the shit out of hedonismbot
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
What you did there was you thought of a bad joke and wanted to post it, but were afraid of getting lamed, so you wrapped up said bad joke in a warning which served to distance yourself from it, thereby having your cake and eating it also (what a long sentence).
I am on to you hedonismbot.
What you did there was you thought of a bad joke and wanted to post it, but were afraid of getting lamed, so you wrapped up said bad joke in a warning which served to distance yourself from it, thereby having your cake and eating it also (what a long sentence).
I am on to you hedonismbot.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I see that the good Professor has already made this point more succinctly.
I see that the good Professor has already made this point more succinctly.
speccer
+0 -0
Hey Farva, what's Al Gore after in that stupid South Park episode?
Hey Farva, what's Al Gore after in that stupid South Park episode?
kickstart
+0 -0
double reference c-c-c-combo!!
heh. Shenanigans.
double reference c-c-c-combo!!
heh. Shenanigans.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
That episode pretty much epitomized everything I hate about South Park.
That episode pretty much epitomized everything I hate about South Park.
speccer
+0 -0
For me, South Park manages to do that in every episode.
For me, South Park manages to do that in every episode.
arbie
+0 -0
Don't need a broom to guilt skriff the overhearings of open window foreplay.
Don't need a broom to guilt skriff the overhearings of open window foreplay.
lonestar52
+0 -0
This is an ominous tunr of events for little nephew.
Did they have trains in 17th century Wales?
This is an ominous tunr of events for little nephew.
Did they have trains in 17th century Wales?
lonestar52
+0 -0
Turn, even.
Turn, even.
cpnglxynchos
+9 -0
yes, but in a way that is hard to care about.
yes, but in a way that is hard to care about.
retinarow
+4 -0
Dude they don't even have trains in Wales now . All they have is disdain and sheep.
Dude they don't even have trains in Wales now . All they have is disdain and sheep.
laserblade
+8 -0
And consonants.
And consonants.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Mr. Putin looks sooo tired of those Welsh consonants. He is not a man you want to bore.
Mr. Putin looks sooo tired of those Welsh consonants. He is not a man you want to bore.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But is he a man you want to bone?
But is he a man you want to bone?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I just wanted to say, despite our previous differences in Internet related humour. Brad Neely is my hero and your avitars have brought me great joy. Now go get me my birthday cake.
I just wanted to say, despite our previous differences in Internet related humour. Brad Neely is my hero and your avitars have brought me great joy. Now go get me my birthday cake.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Thanks. I just hope that person with the Babycakes avicon posts more often so we can have hilarious in-character interactions.
Thanks. I just hope that person with the Babycakes avicon posts more often so we can have hilarious in-character interactions.
speccer
+0 -0
I'm tellin' you right now, I am gonna fuck this up.
I'm tellin' you right now, I am gonna fuck this up.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Oh please. If anybody's fucking shit up, it's me.
Oh please. If anybody's fucking shit up, it's me.
laserblade
+0 -0
Please. I have a blackbelt in judo and access to 30,000 nuclear missiles. I'm the true upfucker of shit.
Please. I have a blackbelt in judo and access to 30,000 nuclear missiles. I'm the true upfucker of shit.
pogo
+0 -0
Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo.
Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
"Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo."
Sounds like a liquor advertisement.
"Got a lil' Pogp in ya?"
"Nobody f*cks things up like Ol' Pogo."
Sounds like a liquor advertisement.
"Got a lil' Pogp in ya?"
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
pogo. "Got a lil' Pogo in ya?"
pogo. "Got a lil' Pogo in ya?"
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
I need to start smoking again.
Maybe then I'll be able to type.
I need to start smoking again.
Maybe then I'll be able to type.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
If you are fourteen, you can have a little Pogo in you whenever you want. Or when you don't want.
If you are fourteen, you can have a little Pogo in you whenever you want. Or when you don't want.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Coming up next in Achewood: The Little Nephew Retrieval Arc.
Coming up next in Achewood: The Little Nephew Retrieval Arc.
falseprophet
+4 -0
Man the Little Nephew Retrieval Arc is so awesome but why did they just interrupt it for the Captain Amagai Shuusuke Filler Arc man that is lame !
Man the Little Nephew Retrieval Arc is so awesome but why did they just interrupt it for the Captain Amagai Shuusuke Filler Arc man that is lame !
endoftheworld
+0 -0
Little Nephew, you must master the Konami Code before the Saiyans arrive!!1!
Little Nephew, you must master the Konami Code before the Saiyans arrive!!1!
theguitarhero
+1 -0
But it's ok, you've got time, because three/fifths of the episodes will just be their spaceship flying to Earth and another fifth will be them charging up to attack.
You've got time.
But it's ok, you've got time, because three/fifths of the episodes will just be their spaceship flying to Earth and another fifth will be them charging up to attack.
You've got time.
echidnaboy
+55 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+1 -0
:O
:O
plummet
+0 -0
i experienced a chubgasm
i experienced a chubgasm
heccibiggs
+1 -0
I think that's called ejaculation?
I think that's called ejaculation?
hbaranov
+0 -0
I dunno, but I regret only having one chubbie to give
I dunno, but I regret only having one chubbie to give
lexsenthur
+1 -0
DUN na dun dun Da Dun nu nuuuu
Da na Nu na Nu na Nuuuuu..NAH NAH NAH!
DUN na dun dun Da Dun nu nuuuu
Da na Nu na Nu na Nuuuuu..NAH NAH NAH!
contrasoma
+0 -0
Glad to see I'm not the only Hokuto no Ken nerd on here.
Glad to see I'm not the only Hokuto no Ken nerd on here.
akarroa
+0 -0
I am honestly terrified of almost all anime and manga. THEY WILL KILL ME IF I OFFEND THEM...
I am honestly terrified of almost all anime and manga. THEY WILL KILL ME IF I OFFEND THEM...
ethelthefrog
+4 -0
Oh boy! Oh boy! A new adventure!
That was my actual thought as I opened this morning's Achewood, coffee in hand, expectant and rewarded with the tingling feeling of happy anticipation. Boys take note: this is foreplay, and it is Important.
Oh boy! Oh boy! A new adventure!
That was my actual thought as I opened this morning's Achewood, coffee in hand, expectant and rewarded with the tingling feeling of happy anticipation. Boys take note: this is foreplay, and it is Important.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Oh Ethel, I must tell you how much I love you avicon.
And now I have. Thank you for your time.
Oh Ethel, I must tell you how much I love you avicon.
And now I have. Thank you for your time.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Foreplay is the thing you people like before cuddling, right? Or is it the part after apologizing for not pulling out fast enough? I always forget where the foreplay goes.
Foreplay is the thing you people like before cuddling, right? Or is it the part after apologizing for not pulling out fast enough? I always forget where the foreplay goes.
pogo
+1 -0
Up your robot ass, that's where it goes.
Up your robot ass, that's where it goes.
pogo
+0 -0
I'm getting into 24-hour advance foreplay, if possible, so my beloved can wake up and say, "Tonight, we f*ck!"
I'm getting into 24-hour advance foreplay, if possible, so my beloved can wake up and say, "Tonight, we f*ck!"
professorhazard
+0 -0
Is that like Fuckin'
Is that like Fuckin'
theguitarhero
+0 -0
or f-f-f-fuckin' ?
or f-f-f-fuckin' ?
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, only more polite.
Yes, only more polite.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I am completely baffled by the idea that one can make it completely clear what the word one is saying is supposed to be - to the point that the only thing that can appear in the reader's mind is the word in question, as sure as (IF NOT MORE THAN) he had simply read the word himself - and it is considered censorship.
I am completely baffled by the idea that one can make it completely clear what the word one is saying is supposed to be - to the point that the only thing that can appear in the reader's mind is the word in question, as sure as (IF NOT MORE THAN) he had simply read the word himself - and it is considered censorship.
pogo
+0 -0
A bikini top is like the asterisk is f*uck.
A bikini top is like the asterisk is f*uck.
pogo
+0 -0
Shit, I meant f*ck.
Shit, I meant f*ck.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
phuk?
phuk?
hbaranov
+0 -0
fcuk
fcuk
spinynorman
+1 -0
Psst....
Psst, Ethel...
[IMGS OFF]
Psst....
Psst, Ethel...
[IMGS OFF]
spinynorman
+1 -0
AW, awwwwwwww.....
Maybe this will...
[IMGS OFF]
Hmm...
AW, awwwwwwww.....
Maybe this will...
[IMGS OFF]
![[IMGS OFF]](https://web.archive.org/web/20110224024000/https://img519.imageshack.us/my.php?image=1206976618851oi3.gif){kind=link}
Hmm...
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
!
!
ethelthefrog
+2 -0
Oh, hee hee hee!
Hee hee!
Oh, hee hee hee!
Oh, hee hee hee!
Hee hee!
Oh, hee hee hee!
echidnaboy
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
MAKE IT STOP I WANT TO GET OFF
[IMGS OFF]
MAKE IT STOP I WANT TO GET OFF
kickstart
+4 -0
I got two turntables and a couple pets
two turntables and a couple pets
I got two turntables and a couple pets
two turntables and a couple pets
octafish
+0 -0
You are where it's at!
You are where it's at!
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
That's beautiful, Dad.
That's beautiful, Dad.
professorhazard
+3 -0
Dachshunds and cats, and just clap your hands, and just clap your hands.
Dachshunds and cats, and just clap your hands, and just clap your hands.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
seven days a week, he's on call
to get the party people up off the wall.
you'll feel motivated as he operates
'cos party energy is what he generates.
he'll prescribe for you a potent elixir:
two turntables, speaker and a mixer.
he'll rock your party.
wherever you be.
callin' dr. dre to surgery.
(this was the sample provided in Encarta 98's entry on Rap.)
seven days a week, he's on call
to get the party people up off the wall.
you'll feel motivated as he operates
'cos party energy is what he generates.
he'll prescribe for you a potent elixir:
two turntables, speaker and a mixer.
he'll rock your party.
wherever you be.
callin' dr. dre to surgery.
(this was the sample provided in Encarta 98's entry on Rap.)
autrepoupee
+0 -0
COME HERE FREAK,
CLOSER AND SEE,
DR DRE OPERATE IN SURGERY
never in my life did I expect to see the lyrics to World Class Wreckin' Cru's "Surgery" on Assetbar.
That was Dr. Dre's first group, and it was absolute dance, dance, DANCE! Cpnglxynchos, you are rad .
COME HERE FREAK,
CLOSER AND SEE,
DR DRE OPERATE IN SURGERY
never in my life did I expect to see the lyrics to World Class Wreckin' Cru's "Surgery" on Assetbar.
That was Dr. Dre's first group, and it was absolute dance, dance, DANCE! Cpnglxynchos, you are rad .
under
+0 -0
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Too bad I don't have spam marking privileges?
Too bad I don't have spam marking privileges?
squares
+0 -0
yeah what the fuck is up with that shit?
yeah what the fuck is up with that shit?
mortshire
+0 -0
I do, man, and I got your back. I'm goin' on a spam hunt!
I do, man, and I got your back. I'm goin' on a spam hunt!
hbaranov
+0 -0
You sir are a cunt.
(directed at the .gif poster of monochrome irritation)
You sir are a cunt.
(directed at the .gif poster of monochrome irritation)
lateadopter
+0 -0
I disagree. Cunts are nice ("moist, love 'em," right?). This guy is rude. Not like rude titties, just rude.
I disagree. Cunts are nice ("moist, love 'em," right?). This guy is rude. Not like rude titties, just rude.
thepunchman
+0 -0
This is obvious because lil' nephew had no Magreaux dog.
This is obvious because lil' nephew had no Magreaux dog.
keir
+0 -0
Reebok Pumps aren't cheap, they're exceedingly expensive - and I've never seen purple ones.
Reebok Pumps aren't cheap, they're exceedingly expensive - and I've never seen purple ones.
usversusthem
+0 -0
I really don't have a clue whether or not you're being facetious. Therefore I'm not going to either chubby or lame you. I just wanted to explain myself so you understand the lack of ratings on your comment. I should not be posting on Assetbar on so little sleep. That is all.
I really don't have a clue whether or not you're being facetious. Therefore I'm not going to either chubby or lame you. I just wanted to explain myself so you understand the lack of ratings on your comment. I should not be posting on Assetbar on so little sleep. That is all.
keir
+0 -0
Beef and Molly's here,
and they're in effect
Want you to pump it, babe
Coolin' by day then
at night working up
a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go
show the guys that we
know
How to become number one
in a hot party show
NOW PUMP IT
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - pump it real good
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - p-pump it real good
Beef and Molly's here,
and they're in effect
Want you to pump it, babe
Coolin' by day then
at night working up
a sweat
C'mon girls, let's go
show the guys that we
know
How to become number one
in a hot party show
NOW PUMP IT
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - pump it real good
Ah, pump it - pump it good
Ah, pump it - p-pump it real good
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Great, now all we need is LN's life story set to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Please don't let this happen
Great, now all we need is LN's life story set to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Please don't let this happen
slanger
+0 -0
Pumps are high heels. You mostly heard them called that in the 80s.
Pumps are high heels. You mostly heard them called that in the 80s.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Ray applauds the climax of the day.
Ray applauds the climax of the day.
zedpower
+5 -0
Little Nephew has worn this expression for his entire life.
Now he finally knows why.
Little Nephew has worn this expression for his entire life.
Now he finally knows why.
squares
+1 -0
Life is hilarious!
Life is hilarious!
professorhazard
+0 -0
Ray, are you pulling a Sam Malone? Is it all over?
Will there be a spin-off?
Ray, are you pulling a Sam Malone? Is it all over?
Will there be a spin-off?
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Oh... first four panels... that's the Achewood I love.
Oh... first four panels... that's the Achewood I love.
squares
+0 -0
You must be a fan of Cartlidge Head...
You must be a fan of Cartlidge Head...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*HUGE fan
*HUGE fan
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Cartlidge Head is my favourite arc. GOF is amazing, but Cartlidge Head is right up my alley.
Hedonimsbot. I've left it open for you...
Cartlidge Head is my favourite arc. GOF is amazing, but Cartlidge Head is right up my alley.
Hedonimsbot. I've left it open for you...
quaga
+1 -0
How will little nephew ever manage to take pictures of his junk in the hot tub now?
How will little nephew ever manage to take pictures of his junk in the hot tub now?
sncether
+0 -0
Not even a daguerrotype to be found in 16th century Wales (so pictures of his stern, unsmiling junk in a high collar are right out). Maybe we'll get some Little Nephew's Junk triptychs?
I am not sure what constituted popular art in 17th century Wales.
Not even a daguerrotype to be found in 16th century Wales (so pictures of his stern, unsmiling junk in a high collar are right out). Maybe we'll get some Little Nephew's Junk triptychs?
I am not sure what constituted popular art in 17th century Wales.
sncether
+1 -0
i have a hell of a time with the fucking century molly is from.
i have a hell of a time with the fucking century molly is from.
laserblade
+0 -0
17th, maybe 18th, I think, because she died on a ship bound for America.
17th, maybe 18th, I think, because she died on a ship bound for America.
sncether
+2 -0
It was established in a zine and, later, a comic that the good ship Gwynqeathe sank in 1676, taking with it Molly Sanders and the other members of the Sanders clan. So it's not that I'm flubbing my own speculative dates, I'm just fucking up.
OTHER EVENTS OF 1676
-Providence, Rhode Island is sacked during the course of King Phillip's War
-The Speed of Light is first quantitatively measured
-Some people of middling fame die; others, also of middling fame, are born to replace them
All in all, a lousy year.
It was established in a zine and, later, a comic that the good ship Gwynqeathe sank in 1676, taking with it Molly Sanders and the other members of the Sanders clan. So it's not that I'm flubbing my own speculative dates, I'm just fucking up.
OTHER EVENTS OF 1676
-Providence, Rhode Island is sacked during the course of King Phillip's War
-The Speed of Light is first quantitatively measured
-Some people of middling fame die; others, also of middling fame, are born to replace them
All in all, a lousy year.
thegoblins
+0 -0
B..b...but they measured the speed of light!
B..b...but they measured the speed of light!
professorhazard
+10 -0
To be fair it was two guys in a warehouse with a lantern, and the verdict was "jolly fast indeed"
To be fair it was two guys in a warehouse with a lantern, and the verdict was "jolly fast indeed"
loeras
+0 -0
did that... did that train materialize out of nowhere?
did that... did that train materialize out of nowhere?
alephnought
+0 -0
I believe it's of the same family of cabooses as Lonis Edison's bed-and-breakfast endeavor. Possibly.
Sorta?
I believe it's of the same family of cabooses as Lonis Edison's bed-and-breakfast endeavor. Possibly.
Sorta?
chuvak
+8 -1
DID SOMEONE SAY TRAINS?!
[IMGS OFF]
DID SOMEONE SAY TRAINS?!
[IMGS OFF]
spectre
+0 -0
A comment left by spectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by labrat, sirhan_duran, professorhazard, mattfish, theguitarhero, sneakymarco, r_tenenbaum, morbo)
A comment left by spectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by labrat, sirhan_duran, professorhazard, mattfish, theguitarhero, sneakymarco, r_tenenbaum, morbo)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I could go the rest of my life without another weeaboo joke.
I could go the rest of my life without another weeaboo joke.
tekende
+1 -0
Hey guys. theguitarhero just said "weeaboo."
Hey guys. theguitarhero just said "weeaboo."
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
pogo
+0 -0
I didn't really care what this strange word meant, but went to look anyway, and now I really don't want to know why the cartoon people get spanked for saying this. The guy stopped doing the strip, apparently.
I didn't really care what this strange word meant, but went to look anyway, and now I really don't want to know why the cartoon people get spanked for saying this. The guy stopped doing the strip, apparently.
daidai
+0 -0
...the hell is this tricky commotion...?
...the hell is this tricky commotion...?
davey-boy
+0 -0
The joke as I understand it is that 'Weeaboo' is first presented as a failing project that people management has put too many resources and man hours on, then it turns out that it is some office douche's idea of a fraternal prank, suggesting that they spend too much time on this dickery, getting no work done.
The joke as I understand it is that 'Weeaboo' is first presented as a failing project that people management has put too many resources and man hours on, then it turns out that it is some office douche's idea of a fraternal prank, suggesting that they spend too much time on this dickery, getting no work done.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Right, but there's a second meaning to the term, which is a white or otherwise non-Asian person who is way too into Japanese culture, kind of like a counterpart to "wigger". I think this is completely unrelated to the comic, and I don't know which came first, but a lot of times people fuse the two meanings by quoting the line after someone references a particularly obscure anime or something of the sort, thus suggesting that the offending weaboo requires spanking.
Right, but there's a second meaning to the term, which is a white or otherwise non-Asian person who is way too into Japanese culture, kind of like a counterpart to "wigger". I think this is completely unrelated to the comic, and I don't know which came first, but a lot of times people fuse the two meanings by quoting the line after someone references a particularly obscure anime or something of the sort, thus suggesting that the offending weaboo requires spanking.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Visual aid:
[IMGS OFF]
Visual aid:
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+6 -0
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
speccer
+1 -0
Her right pupil appears to be beginning mitosis.
Her right pupil appears to be beginning mitosis.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
I can't think of a more graceful way of putting this: that is just fucking dreadful, that is dog shit. I don't like to swear on the internet, but this person has driven me to it. What a highly inadvisable piece of body art.
I can't think of a more graceful way of putting this: that is just fucking dreadful, that is dog shit. I don't like to swear on the internet, but this person has driven me to it. What a highly inadvisable piece of body art.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
man, that's actually INCREDIBLY hard to do. I tried last Halloween, I was going as Pikachu, but it was just impossible as all hell.
man, that's actually INCREDIBLY hard to do. I tried last Halloween, I was going as Pikachu, but it was just impossible as all hell.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Am I allowed to be totally turned on right now?
Am I allowed to be totally turned on right now?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Well Autre, I bet it's easier if you let someone else draw it on you. Here, come over here and close your eyes and I'll do a nice Pokechu for you
Well Autre, I bet it's easier if you let someone else draw it on you. Here, come over here and close your eyes and I'll do a nice Pokechu for you
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i will admit it took me less than a second to decide i would completely have have physical relations with this girl.
i will admit it took me less than a second to decide i would completely have have physical relations with this girl.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
You would not only have them, but have have them.
You would not only have them, but have have them.
lateadopter
+1 -0
reduplication = intensification
reduplication = intensification
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
immediately posthaste!
immediately posthaste!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Really? I'm with hedonismbot here... That is all sorts of unnattractive.
Really? I'm with hedonismbot here... That is all sorts of unnattractive.
kickstart
+0 -0
there's gonna be a ridiculous amount of five-head when that makeup (sharpie?) comes off.
there's gonna be a ridiculous amount of five-head when that makeup (sharpie?) comes off.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea I think she actually looks better this way than she would normally.
Yea I think she actually looks better this way than she would normally.
gowerski
+0 -0
obligatory nasty/dogshit
obligatory nasty/dogshit
irondave
+0 -0
Shit ain't right.
Shit ain't right.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
Eri....Erica? Is that--is that you?
Holy shit, I think that's Erica.
Erica, what in the sam hill are you doing putting photos of yourself lookin' like that on the web?!
Eri....Erica? Is that--is that you?
Holy shit, I think that's Erica.
Erica, what in the sam hill are you doing putting photos of yourself lookin' like that on the web?!
pogo
+0 -0
Way cool, way hot.
Way cool, way hot.
stereo
+0 -0
I can't be certain, but I think the white-person-into-Japanese-culture version of the definition came from 4chan and came after the comic. Stuff goes in the 4chan word filter and it ends up being a meme quite often out of nowhere.
I can't be certain, but I think the white-person-into-Japanese-culture version of the definition came from 4chan and came after the comic. Stuff goes in the 4chan word filter and it ends up being a meme quite often out of nowhere.
chuvak
+0 -0
Yeah it kinda morphed from referencing Gurwich's "Weeaboo" strip in PBF to meaning "person who is nerdily into things japanese". It also can mean "kinda gay". As usual, 4chan was involved.
Yeah it kinda morphed from referencing Gurwich's "Weeaboo" strip in PBF to meaning "person who is nerdily into things japanese". It also can mean "kinda gay". As usual, 4chan was involved.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Someone whip me up a picture of Shatner screaming from Wrath of Khan, with the subtitle "4chan".
Come on guys I ain't have no money for Photoshop.
Someone whip me up a picture of Shatner screaming from Wrath of Khan, with the subtitle "4chan".
Come on guys I ain't have no money for Photoshop.
westsider8
+0 -0
Don't need no photoshop boy:
[IMGS OFF]
Don't need no photoshop boy:
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You know I got no sense of image insertion!
You know I got no sense of image insertion!
spectre
+0 -0
Not completely. The most recent cartoon -- Laugh Line or some such -- was posted last week. I only got into PBF because when I went to Amazon to pre-order the GOF book, Amazone tried to upsell me a combo with GOF and THE TRIAL OF COLONEL SWEETO from PBF. I think PBF is the funniest thing going on the web these days. (Achewood is the BEST cartoon on the web, but sometimes is more thought-provoking or dramatic than funny.)
Not completely. The most recent cartoon -- Laugh Line or some such -- was posted last week. I only got into PBF because when I went to Amazon to pre-order the GOF book, Amazone tried to upsell me a combo with GOF and THE TRIAL OF COLONEL SWEETO from PBF. I think PBF is the funniest thing going on the web these days. (Achewood is the BEST cartoon on the web, but sometimes is more thought-provoking or dramatic than funny.)
usversusthem
+0 -0
Hey guys. There is a new PBF comic up. For serious. It turns out that Gurewitch wasn't lying when he said "partial retirement." Also it's pretty good .
Hey guys. There is a new PBF comic up. For serious. It turns out that Gurewitch wasn't lying when he said "partial retirement." Also it's pretty good .
invidious
+0 -0
Bout fuckin' time. As soon as he put out the Colonel Sweeto book he started working less than the DMV.
Bout fuckin' time. As soon as he put out the Colonel Sweeto book he started working less than the DMV.
pogo
+0 -0
But what about this?: As of Feburary 2008, Nicholas has taken a break from it to pursue other things. There is no official update schedule currently.
But what about this?: As of Feburary 2008, Nicholas has taken a break from it to pursue other things. There is no official update schedule currently.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Basically it just means he'll put up a new comic when he damn well pleases, instead of once a week or so. That one is the first new one in like two months or something.
Basically it just means he'll put up a new comic when he damn well pleases, instead of once a week or so. That one is the first new one in like two months or something.
under
+0 -0
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
falseprophet
+0 -0
I would actually like to see Teodor use a time-travelin' train to go back in time and find his Penny and use his knowledge of the future to deceive her into bedding him. Then he can return to the present and sad some poetry about he is a tool for abusing physics and the heart of a woman to get what he wants out of life.
Good times.
I would actually like to see Teodor use a time-travelin' train to go back in time and find his Penny and use his knowledge of the future to deceive her into bedding him. Then he can return to the present and sad some poetry about he is a tool for abusing physics and the heart of a woman to get what he wants out of life.
Good times.
stereo
+0 -0
If she calls him a fuzzy-wuzzy teddy-bear and hugs him it will all be worth it
If she calls him a fuzzy-wuzzy teddy-bear and hugs him it will all be worth it
sirhan_duran
+0 -0
my chubby clip is empty
my chubby clip is empty
morypcaina
+0 -0
thank you for reverbing "sad"
it was almost just an adjective again.
thank you for reverbing "sad"
it was almost just an adjective again.
joeynarcotic
+1 -0
Hopefully Charley stays gone at least as long as Todd did last time he died. It's nice when folks stay dead a while, it gives you a chance to miss them.
Hopefully Charley stays gone at least as long as Todd did last time he died. It's nice when folks stay dead a while, it gives you a chance to miss them.
hatstand_mcq
+18 -0
I repeated that to my best friend, but he did not see the funny side and stormed out of his own mothers funeral.
I repeated that to my best friend, but he did not see the funny side and stormed out of his own mothers funeral.
lexsenthur
+1 -0
Man, turn out your own funeral.
Man, turn out your own funeral.
morypcaina
+0 -0
it must have been in soviet russia if the mother turned out the son instead of being turned out (viz. Ray's Flowchart)
end joke
it must have been in soviet russia if the mother turned out the son instead of being turned out (viz. Ray's Flowchart)
end joke
blastradius
+1 -0
That should be the case. It should take Ray quite awhile before he even remembers that he sent Little Nephew off too Wales, and a might longer to figure out that Wales is Heaven/Hell.
That should be the case. It should take Ray quite awhile before he even remembers that he sent Little Nephew off too Wales, and a might longer to figure out that Wales is Heaven/Hell.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
No - you realise what Wales is like in an instinctive momentary flash. Like sitting in the back of the bus and realising you have a terminal illness.
No - you realise what Wales is like in an instinctive momentary flash. Like sitting in the back of the bus and realising you have a terminal illness.
octafish
+2 -0
Hey I'm walkin' here!
Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
Hey I'm walkin' here!
Everybody's talking at me
I don't hear a word they're saying
Only the echoes of my mind
People stopping staring
I can't see their faces
Only the shadows of their eyes
I'm going where the sun keeps shining
Thru' the pouring rain
Going where the weather suits my clothes
Backing off of the North East wind
Sailing on summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone
retro
+0 -0
Did you just Midnight Cowboy me?
Did you just Midnight Cowboy me?
davey-boy
+3 -0
Drivin' around in Jon Voight's car
Drivin' around in Jon Voight's car
aaa
+1 -0
This caboose had fidelity. Rivets even.
This caboose had fidelity. Rivets even.
skoora
+3 -0
You know, if you aren't able to see Taffy's hands, he looks like a pervert.
You know, if you aren't able to see Taffy's hands, he looks like a pervert.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Excellent. That has completely changed my view of Taffy. No wonder he has such useful hand and wrist dexterity for the lightning box.
Excellent. That has completely changed my view of Taffy. No wonder he has such useful hand and wrist dexterity for the lightning box.
professorhazard
+0 -0
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah
i_love_kate
+0 -0
*Honk honk*
Bingo!
*Honk honk*
Bingo!
wfl
+1 -0
Now we know what the "milk fog" REALLY is.
The boy must have much stamina.
Now we know what the "milk fog" REALLY is.
The boy must have much stamina.
daidai
+0 -0
oh ew
oh ew
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm betting few people will know this one, but has anyone seen Carnivale? The HBO show thing? There's a scene very much like this, except instead of going to Wales to play video games for eternity, a young woman is going to spend eternity is south Texas getting gangraped by miners. This comic made me think about that more than I normally do.
I'm betting few people will know this one, but has anyone seen Carnivale? The HBO show thing? There's a scene very much like this, except instead of going to Wales to play video games for eternity, a young woman is going to spend eternity is south Texas getting gangraped by miners. This comic made me think about that more than I normally do.
sncether
+0 -0
I have seen that episode, and I remember thinking, "Poor Lila. I bet she wishes she had a DS right about now."
I have seen that episode, and I remember thinking, "Poor Lila. I bet she wishes she had a DS right about now."
hedonismbot
+0 -0
A DS would not save her from the rape train. The rape train hasn't breaks
A DS would not save her from the rape train. The rape train hasn't breaks
bixschmix
+1 -0
No, but she could play Picross while the rapage occured. It would help to keep her mind off of it.
No, but she could play Picross while the rapage occured. It would help to keep her mind off of it.
thegoodwillgirl
+1 -0
It would have to be a gentle rape, or else she would keep tapping the wrong tiny, tiny squares. That would probably get aggravating. I mean, more than the rape even.
It would have to be a gentle rape, or else she would keep tapping the wrong tiny, tiny squares. That would probably get aggravating. I mean, more than the rape even.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Man, you people and your silly games. I've never been less interested in forcing my pleasantness into a woman before.
Man, you people and your silly games. I've never been less interested in forcing my pleasantness into a woman before.
daidai
+0 -0
Has it brakes?
(I hate myself)
Has it brakes?
(I hate myself)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Is it can have brakes?
Is it can have brakes?
hedonismbot
+1 -0
IT HAVEN'T BRAKES!!!! WHOOO-WHOOOO!! CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA BITCHES!!! WHOOO-WHOOO!!
IT HAVEN'T BRAKES!!!! WHOOO-WHOOOO!! CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA BITCHES!!! WHOOO-WHOOO!!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
WHOO-WHOO MUTHAFUCKA! THIS BITCH BE JUMPIN' THA RAILZ!
WHOO-WHOO MUTHAFUCKA! THIS BITCH BE JUMPIN' THA RAILZ!
speccer
+0 -0
Aww hellzicious yes!
Aww hellzicious yes!
kamet
+0 -1
Eh, she was trampy anyway.
Eh, she was trampy anyway.
nokidding
+0 -0
i really enjoy that show. why do all my favorites have to get canceled?
i really enjoy that show. why do all my favorites have to get canceled?
invidious
+0 -0
You know what, you're right. He kinda looks like that Texas A&M bell-ringer kid.
You know what, you're right. He kinda looks like that Texas A&M bell-ringer kid.
bixschmix
+1 -0
Oh, Aggies ...
Oh, Aggies ...
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I had to give you that chub, Bix. I just had to. It came from the depths of my little orange heart.
I had to give you that chub, Bix. I just had to. It came from the depths of my little orange heart.
squares
+0 -0
burnt orange heart?
burnt orange heart?
squares
+0 -0
That was Texas Tech, holmes.
That was Texas Tech, holmes.
shirono
+0 -0
This is like poetry, man.
...also looks like Téodor is jumbled for the long term.
This is like poetry, man.
...also looks like Téodor is jumbled for the long term.
akadriver
+0 -0
Everything is alright in Ray's world. You've got to admire that.
Everything is alright in Ray's world. You've got to admire that.
spectre
+0 -0
Wait a minute, what happened to the camper and the 48-state minigolf tour?
Wait a minute, what happened to the camper and the 48-state minigolf tour?
falseprophet
+5 -0
The game was called on account of f-f-f-f-fuckin'
The game was called on account of f-f-f-f-fuckin'
agentstinky
+0 -0
It was covered in the subscriber area; not sure if he'll make any comics about it. Apparently what's being shown in the comic isn't always the same as what's going on in the characters' "real" lives.
It was covered in the subscriber area; not sure if he'll make any comics about it. Apparently what's being shown in the comic isn't always the same as what's going on in the characters' "real" lives.
gbap
+0 -0
Wait... what?
Wait... what?
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Kudos for your Woodring avicon. Nice.
Kudos for your Woodring avicon. Nice.
spectre
+0 -0
#$%!#$% Now I gotta subscribe; well the stepkids can just eat Jello and Ramen and that's all there is to it.
Their Dad just got fired from ANOTHER job and he's not sending child support . . . again. But it's a point of pride with me that I can look after my family without his !@$%!#$ $478 a month . . . for THREE kids.
#$%!#$% Now I gotta subscribe; well the stepkids can just eat Jello and Ramen and that's all there is to it.
stereo
+0 -0
You mean Nice Pete has been killing people and we don't even know about it ?
You mean Nice Pete has been killing people and we don't even know about it ?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
possums
+0 -0
Oh oh poor lil' Charley's face :(
Oh oh poor lil' Charley's face :(
henrietta
+0 -0
Finally! Less wedding and more ghost train!
Finally! Less wedding and more ghost train!
phy
+0 -0
Ghost caboose . The train is as solid and grounded in conventional reality as anything. When the caboose vanishes again, the train will overspeed and jump the rails, killing half a hundred commuters and setting back the cause of cheap, ubiquitous rail transport in North America by twenty years. Screw the Welsh Ghost Caboose.
Ghost caboose . The train is as solid and grounded in conventional reality as anything. When the caboose vanishes again, the train will overspeed and jump the rails, killing half a hundred commuters and setting back the cause of cheap, ubiquitous rail transport in North America by twenty years. Screw the Welsh Ghost Caboose.
phy
+0 -0
Incidentally caboose is one of the most fun words to say when you are really drunk. Scientists and doctors agree. Try it some time. "Cabooooooooose."
Incidentally caboose is one of the most fun words to say when you are really drunk. Scientists and doctors agree. Try it some time. "Cabooooooooose."
pogo
+0 -1
Try saying it in bed. [That is, with another human being, preferably of the female persuation, if you happen to be male.]
Try saying it in bed. [That is, with another human being, preferably of the female persuation, if you happen to be male.]
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Uh oh, pogo, loneal's gonna getcha for that one.
Uh oh, pogo, loneal's gonna getcha for that one.
loneal
+0 -0
Well, come on, are you telling me that "caboose" is more appropriate for straight sex than for two dudes doing it?
Well, come on, are you telling me that "caboose" is more appropriate for straight sex than for two dudes doing it?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is true. I was actually gonna post "I'll screw your Welsh Ghost Caboose!" in response to phy, but then I seriously considered the direction in which my life was heading and decided against it.
This is true. I was actually gonna post "I'll screw your Welsh Ghost Caboose!" in response to phy, but then I seriously considered the direction in which my life was heading and decided against it.
phy
+1 -0
The direction in which your life was heading was, to make it explicit, the caboose.
The direction in which your life was heading was, to make it explicit, the caboose.
pogo
+0 -0
I shan't ever recommend man-on-man action.
I shan't ever recommend man-on-man action.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Bad expierience? 'Cause I here it is pretty radical.
Bad expierience? 'Cause I here it is pretty radical.
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
I have heard that after you have had male homosexual sex three times you get a complimentary sample selection of soaps and shampoos and the recipe for some really kick-arse chocolate brownies.
I have heard that after you have had male homosexual sex three times you get a complimentary sample selection of soaps and shampoos and the recipe for some really kick-arse chocolate brownies.
kamet
+0 -0
I hear that after you have homosexual sex three times, Michael Keaton shows up in a bad costume.
I hear that after you have homosexual sex three times, Michael Keaton shows up in a bad costume.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I heard after your first time, you get a lifetime subscription to the magasine of your choice .
I heard after your first time, you get a lifetime subscription to the magasine of your choice .
loneal
+0 -0
I think your new nickname should be No Homo Pogo.
I think your new nickname should be No Homo Pogo.
contrasoma
+0 -0
Ah, "no homo". The Dipset doth protest too much, methinks.
Ah, "no homo". The Dipset doth protest too much, methinks.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
At least make it "No Homo s Pogo," so he's allowed to at least have one.
At least make it "No Homo s Pogo," so he's allowed to at least have one.
pogo
+0 -0
Sounds like Latin. I like it.
Sounds like Latin. I like it.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Is it a sure-fire laugh, or what? I MUST KNOW POGO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SAY CABOOSE IN BED
IS IT SAFE
Is it a sure-fire laugh, or what? I MUST KNOW POGO WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SAY CABOOSE IN BED
IS IT SAFE
tekende
+0 -0
Here's what happens.
The man is doing the woman doggy-style. He says "caboose." The woman laughs, causing muscles to move and things to vibrate in the belly area, and in a matter of seconds things move together just right for the woman to have an orgasm.
Or maybe I'm just completely making this up. Take your pick.
Here's what happens.
The man is doing the woman doggy-style. He says "caboose." The woman laughs, causing muscles to move and things to vibrate in the belly area, and in a matter of seconds things move together just right for the woman to have an orgasm.
Or maybe I'm just completely making this up. Take your pick.
pogo
+0 -0
Tekende is close, but I would think that the booty-hole was the caboose, wouldn't you?
Tekende is close, but I would think that the booty-hole was the caboose, wouldn't you?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Hee Hee! Booty-hole. That is a hilarious word. Booty-hole. "I'm hooking this big black engine to your caboose baby!" "What? You mean my, my, um, booty-hole?"
Hee Hee! Booty-hole. That is a hilarious word. Booty-hole. "I'm hooking this big black engine to your caboose baby!" "What? You mean my, my, um, booty-hole?"
loneal
+0 -0
Somehow that is one of the least appealing euphemisms I have ever heard. How did you get that innocuous little phrase to sound more vulgar than even "anus"?
Somehow that is one of the least appealing euphemisms I have ever heard. How did you get that innocuous little phrase to sound more vulgar than even "anus"?
aperson
+0 -0
The Butt Opening
The Butt Opening
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Balloon Knot
Balloon Knot
autrepoupee
+0 -0
lest we forget:
chocolate starfish
(thank you, fourth grade!)
lest we forget:
chocolate starfish
(thank you, fourth grade!)
achilleselbow
+0 -0
God damn, I think I was in high school when that came out. Thanks for making me feel old.
God damn, I think I was in high school when that came out. Thanks for making me feel old.
tragicone
+0 -0
yeah, i mean, i'm the same age as him but i remember atleast 6th grade.
yeah, i mean, i'm the same age as him but i remember atleast 6th grade.
kamet
+0 -0
See, I was thinking "Thank you Primus"
See, I was thinking "Thank you Primus"
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Oh man. There was a very middle of the road rock band in Oz that did a cover of "You're so vein" called Chocolate Starfish. I... I still don't understand.
Oh man. There was a very middle of the road rock band in Oz that did a cover of "You're so vein" called Chocolate Starfish. I... I still don't understand.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I thought autrepoupee was referencing Limp Bizkit, but maybe that's just because I am of low mind.
I thought autrepoupee was referencing Limp Bizkit, but maybe that's just because I am of low mind.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Haha oh my good achilleselbow i've never even heeaaard of this Limped Biscuit of which you speak! Gracious me, who would reference such a thing? Tarry tarry, what a mazzew.
Haha oh my good achilleselbow i've never even heeaaard of this Limped Biscuit of which you speak! Gracious me, who would reference such a thing? Tarry tarry, what a mazzew.
chuvak
+0 -0
Cornhole.
Cornhole.
loneal
+0 -0
All of these are somehow less disturbing than "booty hole." Oh my God, I am cringing just typing it.
All of these are somehow less disturbing than "booty hole." Oh my God, I am cringing just typing it.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Squeezebucket.
Squeezebucket.
pogo
+0 -0
My word made Loneal cringe! Oh frabjous day!!
My word made Loneal cringe! Oh frabjous day!!
tragicone
+1 -0
calooh callay?
calooh callay?
squares
+0 -0
what about Dookie Chute?
what about Dookie Chute?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I always hated: Mangina.
Whatever you do don't think about it too much. Your brain will cross association streams and a rip in the space time continuum will open up.
I always hated: Mangina.
Whatever you do don't think about it too much. Your brain will cross association streams and a rip in the space time continuum will open up.
octafish
+0 -0
You like Bailey's? Mmmm... creamy. Soft, creamy beige.
You ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
You like Bailey's? Mmmm... creamy. Soft, creamy beige.
You ever drink Bailey's from a shoe?
loneal
+0 -0
You seen my downstairs mixup.
You seen my downstairs mixup.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other?
Wanna go to a club where people wee on each other?
wonelove
+0 -0
the posterior-inferior orifice ..?
the posterior-inferior orifice ..?
bixschmix
+0 -0
Think about it: is it creepier to say "I'm going to come in you" or "I'm going to fill your hoo-ha with goof juice"?
(Stolen from Patton Oswalt, but geez is it true)
Think about it: is it creepier to say "I'm going to come in you" or "I'm going to fill your hoo-ha with goof juice"?
(Stolen from Patton Oswalt, but geez is it true)
tekende
+0 -0
Those are both hella weird things to say.
Those are both hella weird things to say.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You'd think, if you were using it in a situation where it is at all applicable, that it's something that could remain largely unsafe.
You'd think, if you were using it in a situation where it is at all applicable, that it's something that could remain largely unsafe.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Unsafe? I meant unsaid. Equally plausible.
Unsafe? I meant unsaid. Equally plausible.
tekende
+0 -0
Unless it is a warning. Like, "if you don't want to get pregnant, you'd better say something now, because I'm going to come in you."
Unless it is a warning. Like, "if you don't want to get pregnant, you'd better say something now, because I'm going to come in you."
irondave
+0 -0
Okay, sex-talk always sounds stupid out of context, but I think you fellas both are not really catching the spirit of it. It's a natural, zesty enterprise; it shouldn't sound like the cockpit* voice recorder from a routine UPS flight into Louisville.
*heh heh heh
Okay, sex-talk always sounds stupid out of context, but I think you fellas both are not really catching the spirit of it. It's a natural, zesty enterprise; it shouldn't sound like the cockpit* voice recorder from a routine UPS flight into Louisville.
*heh heh heh
under
+3 -0
* unless of course you are doing it in the cockpit of the UPS flight into Louisville
* unless of course you are doing it in the cockpit of the UPS flight into Louisville
woodenteeth
+0 -0
There you go. Voice of reason. Talking during sex can be all sorts of hot. Strange things can sound very sexy when you're caught up in it.
There you go. Voice of reason. Talking during sex can be all sorts of hot. Strange things can sound very sexy when you're caught up in it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yeah... yeah... open that sardine can... yeah... watch out for the sharp edges... oh yeah...
Yeah... yeah... open that sardine can... yeah... watch out for the sharp edges... oh yeah...
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
"My dick feels like corn!"
"My dick feels like corn!"
tragicone
+0 -0
boooo. dane cook. booooo.
boooo. dane cook. booooo.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
"Pass me the butter baby, pass me the butter."
"Pass me the butter baby, pass me the butter."
techiebabe
+0 -0
Kerneled for her pleasure.
Kerneled for her pleasure.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
ooooohhhhh your sweet sweet ring pull
ooooohhhhh your sweet sweet ring pull
aliiis
+0 -0
IS IT SECRET
IS IT SAFE
(Gandalf moment, sorry)
IS IT SECRET
IS IT SAFE
(Gandalf moment, sorry)
octafish
+1 -0
Is it safe?
I don't know what you mean. I can't tell you something's safe or not, unless I know specifically what you're talking about.
Is it safe?
Tell me what the "it" refers to.
Is it safe?
Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it.
Is it safe?
No. It's not safe, it's... very dangerous, be careful.
Is it safe?
I don't know what you mean. I can't tell you something's safe or not, unless I know specifically what you're talking about.
Is it safe?
Tell me what the "it" refers to.
Is it safe?
Yes, it's safe, it's very safe, it's so safe you wouldn't believe it.
Is it safe?
No. It's not safe, it's... very dangerous, be careful.
stereo
+2 -0
Truck truck truck truck truck truck truck truck cabooooose!
Truck truck truck truck truck truck truck truck cabooooose!
octafish
+0 -0
Any moment now Teodor is going to smother Ray with a pillow, throw the bathroom water basin through the window, and escape through the grounds.
Any moment now Teodor is going to smother Ray with a pillow, throw the bathroom water basin through the window, and escape through the grounds.
starla
+0 -0
And probably set fire to the nearest store selling cheap purple pumps.
And probably set fire to the nearest store selling cheap purple pumps.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
Love that movie.
Right now Teodor's theme music is:
"Alone Again" by Gilbert O'Sullivan
Love that movie.
Right now Teodor's theme music is:
"Alone Again" by Gilbert O'Sullivan
ging
+0 -0
That's a pretty good time to be stoned and clap a bottle of champagne open.
Always sleep stoned kids
That's a pretty good time to be stoned and clap a bottle of champagne open.
Always sleep stoned kids
pogo
+0 -0
I think the bottle was already open and is just splashing a little in bed.
I think the bottle was already open and is just splashing a little in bed.
binlaggin
+0 -0
Pogo, you are a gentleman, to deal so politely with such regular foolishness.
Pogo, you are a gentleman, to deal so politely with such regular foolishness.
pogo
+2 -0
As is true with many gentlemen my age, I have often been stoned in bed and splashed a little.
As is true with many gentlemen my age, I have often been stoned in bed and splashed a little.
videocrime
+0 -0
the return of the cheap purple pumps. YES
the return of the cheap purple pumps. YES
fuzzyshoo
+3 -0
Dracula don't got that much money this week MWWWAH-HA-HA
Dracula don't got that much money this week MWWWAH-HA-HA
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, I looked at your avatar and instantly thought you were referencing Dr. McNinja. Which would make sense, as having one of your robot clones stolen and an entire wing of your moonbase decompressed would certainly put a chink in anyone's wallet.
"The real Paul McCartney, real Michael Jackson and Tupac make such sweet music together."
Man, I looked at your avatar and instantly thought you were referencing Dr. McNinja. Which would make sense, as having one of your robot clones stolen and an entire wing of your moonbase decompressed would certainly put a chink in anyone's wallet.
"The real Paul McCartney, real Michael Jackson and Tupac make such sweet music together."
odei
+0 -0
That arc was beautiful, especially the surfing of the robot Dracula back into the atmosphere.
That arc was beautiful, especially the surfing of the robot Dracula back into the atmosphere.
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
"I just rode a Dracula robot to earth from the fuckin' moon! So all yalls can just take it!"
one of my favorites.
"I just rode a Dracula robot to earth from the fuckin' moon! So all yalls can just take it!"
one of my favorites.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Who wants.... pizza?
Who wants.... pizza?
labrat
+0 -0
I gotta get in on this doctor/scientist action.
I gotta get in on this doctor/scientist action.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Is that Dale Cooper?
Is that Dale Cooper?
octafish
+0 -0
That is some damn fine coffee.
That is some damn fine coffee.
rowboat
+0 -0
And having made only three comments, the girl with the best possible avatar faded away. Shame.
And having made only three comments, the girl with the best possible avatar faded away. Shame.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Ray's champagne is wearing cheap purple pumps.
Ray's champagne is wearing cheap purple pumps.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
That's because it is a prostitute
That's because it is a prostitute
saulbellow
+0 -0
Is this the first instance of Roast Beef speaking in a way that requires italics? TO MY ARCHIVES
Is this the first instance of Roast Beef speaking in a way that requires italics? TO MY ARCHIVES
kickstart
+0 -0
There's a bit of italics here , but that was sort of narration, not sure if it counts.
There's a bit of italics here , but that was sort of narration, not sure if it counts.
tagnil
+4 -0
I write the police blotter for
the Hollister newspaper, and I when I finish it I always think, "Why does
this sound so familiar?" There is oddness aplenty. Here is today's. Read
the middle one. It is the oddest. You just can't make up something like
your white mom going and getting your cell phone back from some gangbangers
that are busily stabbing someone else.
Burglary
No suspects have been arrested in a burglary which occurred at 370 El Toro
Drive in Hollister. Sometime between nine pm on the twenty-sixth and 9:30
am on the twenty-seventh. Entry was most likely made through an unlocked
backdoor. Reports on the burglary were incomplete on Monday and further
details were not available.
Robbery and Stabbing
Officers responded to a call at 1:30 am at 1131 Prune Street. There they
found two adult male victims. One victim had been struck multiple times in
the head, and then apparently offered his wallet and cell phone to his
assailants, described as Latino male adults with possible ties to the
Nortena street gang, to get them to stop. The cell phone was later recovered
by his mother who went to the party after her son returned home and got the
phone back from the perpetrators. The other victim had been stabbed in the
leg by three suspects who also were described as Latino Males with possible
Nortena ties. It was not clear from the police report whether the second
victim was robbed.
Willful Cruelty to a Child
Police responded to the 300 block of San Felipe on Friday where they
arrested a man suspected of willful cruelty to his son. The two had become
engaged in an argument and police reports indicate that the father lost his
temper and slapped the juvenile on the head and then threw his cell phone at
him.
I write the police blotter for
the Hollister newspaper, and I when I finish it I always think, "Why does
this sound so familiar?" There is oddness aplenty. Here is today's. Read
the middle one. It is the oddest. You just can't make up something like
your white mom going and getting your cell phone back from some gangbangers
that are busily stabbing someone else.
Burglary
No suspects have been arrested in a burglary which occurred at 370 El Toro
Drive in Hollister. Sometime between nine pm on the twenty-sixth and 9:30
am on the twenty-seventh. Entry was most likely made through an unlocked
backdoor. Reports on the burglary were incomplete on Monday and further
details were not available.
Robbery and Stabbing
Officers responded to a call at 1:30 am at 1131 Prune Street. There they
found two adult male victims. One victim had been struck multiple times in
the head, and then apparently offered his wallet and cell phone to his
assailants, described as Latino male adults with possible ties to the
Nortena street gang, to get them to stop. The cell phone was later recovered
by his mother who went to the party after her son returned home and got the
phone back from the perpetrators. The other victim had been stabbed in the
leg by three suspects who also were described as Latino Males with possible
Nortena ties. It was not clear from the police report whether the second
victim was robbed.
Willful Cruelty to a Child
Police responded to the 300 block of San Felipe on Friday where they
arrested a man suspected of willful cruelty to his son. The two had become
engaged in an argument and police reports indicate that the father lost his
temper and slapped the juvenile on the head and then threw his cell phone at
him.
tagnil
+0 -2
I write the police blotter for
the Hollister newspaper, and I when I finish it I always think, "Why does
this sound so familiar?" There is oddness aplenty. Here is today's. Read
the middle one. It is the oddest. You just can't make up something like
your white mom going and getting your cell phone back from some gangbangers
that are busily stabbing someone else.
Burglary
No suspects have been arrested in a burglary which occurred at 370 El Toro
Drive in Hollister. Sometime between nine pm on the twenty-sixth and 9:30
am on the twenty-seventh. Entry was most likely made through an unlocked
backdoor. Reports on the burglary were incomplete on Monday and further
details were not available.
Robbery and Stabbing
Officers responded to a call at 1:30 am at 1131 Prune Street. There they
found two adult male victims. One victim had been struck multiple times in
the head, and then apparently offered his wallet and cell phone to his
assailants, described as Latino male adults with possible ties to the
Nortena street gang, to get them to stop. The cell phone was later recovered
by his mother who went to the party after her son returned home and got the
phone back from the perpetrators. The other victim had been stabbed in the
leg by three suspects who also were described as Latino Males with possible
Nortena ties. It was not clear from the police report whether the second
victim was robbed.
Willful Cruelty to a Child
Police responded to the 300 block of San Felipe on Friday where they
arrested a man suspected of willful cruelty to his son. The two had become
engaged in an argument and police reports indicate that the father lost his
temper and slapped the juvenile on the head and then threw his cell phone at
him.
I write the police blotter for
the Hollister newspaper, and I when I finish it I always think, "Why does
this sound so familiar?" There is oddness aplenty. Here is today's. Read
the middle one. It is the oddest. You just can't make up something like
your white mom going and getting your cell phone back from some gangbangers
that are busily stabbing someone else.
Burglary
No suspects have been arrested in a burglary which occurred at 370 El Toro
Drive in Hollister. Sometime between nine pm on the twenty-sixth and 9:30
am on the twenty-seventh. Entry was most likely made through an unlocked
backdoor. Reports on the burglary were incomplete on Monday and further
details were not available.
Robbery and Stabbing
Officers responded to a call at 1:30 am at 1131 Prune Street. There they
found two adult male victims. One victim had been struck multiple times in
the head, and then apparently offered his wallet and cell phone to his
assailants, described as Latino male adults with possible ties to the
Nortena street gang, to get them to stop. The cell phone was later recovered
by his mother who went to the party after her son returned home and got the
phone back from the perpetrators. The other victim had been stabbed in the
leg by three suspects who also were described as Latino Males with possible
Nortena ties. It was not clear from the police report whether the second
victim was robbed.
Willful Cruelty to a Child
Police responded to the 300 block of San Felipe on Friday where they
arrested a man suspected of willful cruelty to his son. The two had become
engaged in an argument and police reports indicate that the father lost his
temper and slapped the juvenile on the head and then threw his cell phone at
him.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
"Entry was most likely made through an unlocked back door."
"Entry was most likely made through an unlocked back door."
tekende
+0 -0
Oh, innuendo! Okay.
Oh, innuendo! Okay.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
You mean in- her -endo! OH!
You mean in- her -endo! OH!
phy
+0 -0
In her caboose .
In her caboose .
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
In her... booty hole?
In her... booty hole?
loneal
+0 -0
Ew ew ew ew ew.
Ew ew ew ew ew.
hedonismbot
+0 -1
Plumbing about in the butt opening. I think that one is my favorite term. Thank you lady above, for introducing it to me. Congrats on your age being the first irregular prime.
Plumbing about in the butt opening. I think that one is my favorite term. Thank you lady above, for introducing it to me. Congrats on your age being the first irregular prime.
kamet
+1 -0
Heheeheheee... you said unlocked.
Heheeheheee... you said unlocked.
joeynarcotic
+1 -2
I like it when she leaves the back door unlocked. Turd burglary?
I like it when she leaves the back door unlocked. Turd burglary?
tagnil
+0 -0
Arrgh the dreaded accidental double post. mea culpa
Arrgh the dreaded accidental double post. mea culpa
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I didn't even know that Hollister had a newspaper, let alone a police blotter, and I was surprised to see it had nothing to do with overpriced t-shirts.
I didn't even know that Hollister had a newspaper, let alone a police blotter, and I was surprised to see it had nothing to do with overpriced t-shirts.
daidai
+2 -0
These pants didn't come nearly torn enough!
what the fuck did I pay for?!?!?
These pants didn't come nearly torn enough!
what the fuck did I pay for?!?!?
uruloki
+0 -0
The train appears to travel in time/dimension with the terminator method (IE, crackly lightning)
The train appears to travel in time/dimension with the terminator method (IE, crackly lightning)
wonelove
+0 -0
but it's missing the little crater thing.
Actually, in the train's case, the crater would be a bit bigger...
but it's missing the little crater thing.
Actually, in the train's case, the crater would be a bit bigger...
pygmalion00
+2 -1
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+1 -0
Man, the doctors get to all the cool discoveries before the scientists. Then the scientists just stand around going "Graaaargh."
Man, the doctors get to all the cool discoveries before the scientists. Then the scientists just stand around going "Graaaargh."
daidai
+0 -0
Is teodor sweeping...or waiting outside Beef and Molly's room with a metal pole to attack them (because he has gone insane)?
I'm like 70/30 leaning towards the former.
Is teodor sweeping...or waiting outside Beef and Molly's room with a metal pole to attack them (because he has gone insane)?
I'm like 70/30 leaning towards the former.
charchar
+0 -0
I'm hoping that LN's sojourn with the Sanders family evolves into something along the lines of the Ice Cream Shop.
I'm hoping that LN's sojourn with the Sanders family evolves into something along the lines of the Ice Cream Shop.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he's already dead...i don't know how it could get worse, lest Nice Pete's outwardly evil twin is serving still-beating kitten hearts in the buffet car, screams like gravy.
he's already dead...i don't know how it could get worse, lest Nice Pete's outwardly evil twin is serving still-beating kitten hearts in the buffet car, screams like gravy.
tekende
+1 -0
So...is that an illegal ghost train?
So...is that an illegal ghost train?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
FOREBODE!
FOREBODE!
johnmatrix
+0 -0
*CHOMP*
*CHOMP*
gladi8orrex
+21 -2
GUD EVNIN EERYBODY. AS PROMPISED HERE IS DEH RESULTS UF UR ANIMAL/FOOD DATA.
As and asid i ma ballzack skin as tuffend a bit.
i do dem in order here is
syrdipykaybord: u r a man of low monitary means but u has respek 4 ur mom despite wat she did 2 u
to godeksi: u r yung, lif has ben kind 2 u. u willl lern
idondabe: (i cun tell ib u eat tiger or lik ti lol. hard read.) ur a brabe man giben da chance. find a womin whu belibes in u. kat was a bitche
auterberpy: u will not jump n2 bed wit deh firs cowboy who smillz atchu
ritro: r u black? lol
profzorhilzard: dispit on deh surfice wat u luke like ur confident on inside. belibe in urself
stirio: u got high hopes but u aren't achevin dem.
tharfinn: u shuld try an cuntict ur fadder.
tdagitterhro: u r on da brink. check urself objictibly
tdagolbins: u wer messed wit as chile. u has drawn witin urself perhabs 2 mush.
ilubkatey: u r not picky.
wudenteebe: u hab surfed wit a dolbin once or maybe more i dunno
mr_lasstman: u r and teme player.
heestudy: u sertinly could has stoped at burreto. the toppns dun help ma reading
yearsinhotschool: ur a dead man
achillsbrow: u r woordy (widnbag)
dats it i lebe u wiff dis. thx 2 u it woz ard wurk 2 read n2 so many peples. i bud u addu
GUD EVNIN EERYBODY. AS PROMPISED HERE IS DEH RESULTS UF UR ANIMAL/FOOD DATA.
As and asid i ma ballzack skin as tuffend a bit.
i do dem in order here is
syrdipykaybord: u r a man of low monitary means but u has respek 4 ur mom despite wat she did 2 u
to godeksi: u r yung, lif has ben kind 2 u. u willl lern
idondabe: (i cun tell ib u eat tiger or lik ti lol. hard read.) ur a brabe man giben da chance. find a womin whu belibes in u. kat was a bitche
auterberpy: u will not jump n2 bed wit deh firs cowboy who smillz atchu
ritro: r u black? lol
profzorhilzard: dispit on deh surfice wat u luke like ur confident on inside. belibe in urself
stirio: u got high hopes but u aren't achevin dem.
tharfinn: u shuld try an cuntict ur fadder.
tdagitterhro: u r on da brink. check urself objictibly
tdagolbins: u wer messed wit as chile. u has drawn witin urself perhabs 2 mush.
ilubkatey: u r not picky.
wudenteebe: u hab surfed wit a dolbin once or maybe more i dunno
mr_lasstman: u r and teme player.
heestudy: u sertinly could has stoped at burreto. the toppns dun help ma reading
yearsinhotschool: ur a dead man
achillsbrow: u r woordy (widnbag)
dats it i lebe u wiff dis. thx 2 u it woz ard wurk 2 read n2 so many peples. i bud u addu
mr_lostman28
+0 -1
Its like a retarded child is running loose in the fortune cookie factory, channeling Dr. Phil.
Its like a retarded child is running loose in the fortune cookie factory, channeling Dr. Phil.
under
+0 -0
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I love that "Yearsinhotclaws" has become "yearsinhotschool". Otherwise, intensely insightful.
I love that "Yearsinhotclaws" has become "yearsinhotschool". Otherwise, intensely insightful.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But will I ever find true love?
But will I ever find true love?
tekende
+1 -0
If I can't, you can't
You bastard
If I can't, you can't
You bastard
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
Hahahahahah
Hahahahahah
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I find the phrase 'i bud u addu' exquisite, and strangely moving.
I find the phrase 'i bud u addu' exquisite, and strangely moving.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
read me like a book!
read me like a book!
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
Although it seems probable you meant the verb 'read' to be second person singular, every time my eye falls on it I assume that it is in the imperative mood, which makes it sound vaguely kinky.
'Read me' she begged as Gladi8orrex ran a coldly appraising eye over her splayed form, 'read me like a book!'
Although it seems probable you meant the verb 'read' to be second person singular, every time my eye falls on it I assume that it is in the imperative mood, which makes it sound vaguely kinky.
'Read me' she begged as Gladi8orrex ran a coldly appraising eye over her splayed form, 'read me like a book!'
lateadopter
+0 -0
It was probably past tense.
It was probably past tense.
irondave
+0 -0
The toppings DO NOT help the readings, people.
The toppings DO NOT help the readings, people.
gyrate
+2 -0
The topping contains potassium benzoate.
That's bad.
The topping contains potassium benzoate.
That's bad.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Can I go now?
Can I go now?
gowerski
+0 -0
this is accurate i think
for me at least
this is accurate i think
for me at least
gowerski
+0 -0
thanks for the effort must have taken ages
thanks for the effort must have taken ages
thegoblins
+0 -0
I thought you'd never come back with our results! But that's because I was messed with as a child.
I thought you'd never come back with our results! But that's because I was messed with as a child.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Thegoblins is still waiting for his dad to come back from "the store".
Thegoblins is still waiting for his dad to come back from "the store".
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
I'm still waiting for the "pet ghost" my dad promised me when I was seven. My dad has been dead for seven years. I am beginning to think I may never get the little spook.
I'm still waiting for the "pet ghost" my dad promised me when I was seven. My dad has been dead for seven years. I am beginning to think I may never get the little spook.
hedonismbot
+2 -1
It's okay. When my dad told me I'd be getting a special ghost friend when I was little, it ended up being his penis. And he wasn't my dad, he was actually your mom.
It's okay. When my dad told me I'd be getting a special ghost friend when I was little, it ended up being his penis. And he wasn't my dad, he was actually your mom.
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
I have told her to stop this.
She does not listen.
I have told her to stop this.
She does not listen.
thegoblins
+0 -0
I...I thought I was a girl. Now you've confused me.
I...I thought I was a girl. Now you've confused me.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Achilleselbow is so cool that even if you're a lady, he'll still call at you like you're a dude.
Achilleselbow is so cool that even if you're a lady, he'll still call at you like you're a dude.
kickstart
+5 -0
Combolations, Elizagerth
Combolations, Elizagerth
tekende
+0 -0
Damnit damnit damnit I'm out of chubbies
Damnit damnit damnit I'm out of chubbies
snidedk
+0 -0
I got your back on this one
I got your back on this one
tragicone
+0 -0
why? its none too accurate.
why? its none too accurate.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Hey there, Belindas.
Hey there, Belindas.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I do apologize though. It's just that all the other goblins I've encountered so far in my life have been male.
I do apologize though. It's just that all the other goblins I've encountered so far in my life have been male.
thegoblins
+0 -0
No hard feelings! But really, how do you think goblins make more goblins? A creature of that size isn't going to be all about the binary fission/ budding style of reproduction, is it?
No hard feelings! But really, how do you think goblins make more goblins? A creature of that size isn't going to be all about the binary fission/ budding style of reproduction, is it?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
tdagitterhro: u r on da brink. check urself objictibly
DA BRINK! FUCK.
Should I check myself before I riggity-wreck myself?
tdagitterhro: u r on da brink. check urself objictibly
DA BRINK! FUCK.
Should I check myself before I riggity-wreck myself?
rowboat
+0 -0
Now I can see why some people stand up for Glad. He used to be funny. I was previously only familiar his work in the present which is much less interesting. I guess everyone runs out of ideas eventually.
Now I can see why some people stand up for Glad. He used to be funny. I was previously only familiar his work in the present which is much less interesting. I guess everyone runs out of ideas eventually.
mcjuicy
+1 -0
I can just imagine what ray was doing at 4:20
I can just imagine what ray was doing at 4:20
digested_fetus
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
it's my first photoshop
[IMGS OFF]
it's my first photoshop
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man what in the hell??
man what in the hell??
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
alternatively:
you could have just copied the 'spoke' below instead of making him say it twice.
what a goofus.
(manwhyouevengottadoathingsuchastealapictureofmine)
alternatively:
you could have just copied the 'spoke' below instead of making him say it twice.
what a goofus.
(manwhyouevengottadoathingsuchastealapictureofmine)
monstermovie
+0 -0
good song/band but kind of a dumb photoshop
good song/band but kind of a dumb photoshop
krispykorn
+0 -0
THE END .
THE END .
echidnaboy
+2 -0
No moral!
No moral!
desert_donkey
+0 -0
what's up with the "ZZT" "ZT" "BZZT".. s'posed to be electrical noise? why?
what's up with the "ZZT" "ZT" "BZZT".. s'posed to be electrical noise? why?
digested_fetus
+0 -0
supranatural stuff makes electrical noise. Before the invention of electrical stuff, I'm not sure what sound it made... probably kind of a ghostly clop clop sound in a medium of thick fog
supranatural stuff makes electrical noise. Before the invention of electrical stuff, I'm not sure what sound it made... probably kind of a ghostly clop clop sound in a medium of thick fog
gyrate
+0 -0
Because the ukulele cadenza they used to use failed to provide the requisite gravitas.
Because the ukulele cadenza they used to use failed to provide the requisite gravitas.
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
GQ, and now a piece in The New Yorker's Cartoon Lounge on Thursday. I know it's by no means his first appearance outside of the net, but still. People keep noticing. Let's hope Onstad is on the road to the recognition he deserves.
GQ, and now a piece in The New Yorker's Cartoon Lounge on Thursday. I know it's by no means his first appearance outside of the net, but still. People keep noticing. Let's hope Onstad is on the road to the recognition he deserves.
fatfatcat
+0 -1
I love ham
I love ham
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
Ham, however, is growing increasingly bored with you. I fear that if you do not make your move now, she will leave you for someone who will.
Go get her, tiger!
Ham, however, is growing increasingly bored with you. I fear that if you do not make your move now, she will leave you for someone who will.
Go get her, tiger!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I like ham, but I don't know if I want to take the relationship further.
I like ham, but I don't know if I want to take the relationship further.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm not *in like* with ham
I'm not *in like* with ham
ham
+2 -0
LOVE ME
LOVE ME
i_love_kate
+0 -0
MOIST
MOIST
johnmatrix
+0 -0
We know.
We know.
pogo
+0 -0
For the record, why and how did this start, and what does it reference?
Thank you,
Pogo the Historian of Words
For the record, why and how did this start, and what does it reference?
Thank you,
Pogo the Historian of Words
kamet
+0 -0
The man loves ham. And you can't reason with a man in love.
The man loves ham. And you can't reason with a man in love.
irondave
+0 -0
"Tell me why!"
"I don't like Mondays."
"Tell me why!"
"I don't like Mondays."
mr_lostman28
+0 -0
Man, that is an awesome song. V-chub.
I was about to ask why you did it... but then I realized... There can be,
NO REASONS!
cause there are
NO REASONS!
Man, that is an awesome song. V-chub.
I was about to ask why you did it... but then I realized... There can be,
NO REASONS!
cause there are
NO REASONS!
snidedk
+0 -0
What reasons do you need to die, die, oh!
What reasons do you need to die, die, oh!
irondave
+0 -0
Inspired by Actual Events, from what I understand. Life is absurd, that's what I find.
Inspired by Actual Events, from what I understand. Life is absurd, that's what I find.
stereo
+0 -0
Indeed it was .
Indeed it was .
irondave
+0 -1
I knew one of you whiz-kids would come up with that. In related news, I saw a darn good rockabilly band last weekend called The Starkweather Boys.
I knew one of you whiz-kids would come up with that. In related news, I saw a darn good rockabilly band last weekend called The Starkweather Boys.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
You lot seem to be fairly knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects. Tell me something. Another Achewood reader I know told me that the purple pumps were mentioned before, in the February 5, 2008 strip. He looked around for them, and while he found this
https://www.easyspirit.com/Beverly/2910315,default,pd.html?cgid=2881133
He said that they don't look cheap enough. So I challenge you all, can you find a brand of Easy Spirit pumps that are purple and cheap?
You lot seem to be fairly knowledgeable about a wide variety of subjects. Tell me something. Another Achewood reader I know told me that the purple pumps were mentioned before, in the February 5, 2008 strip. He looked around for them, and while he found this
https://www.easyspirit.com/Beverly/2910315,default,pd.html?cgid=2881133
He said that they don't look cheap enough. So I challenge you all, can you find a brand of Easy Spirit pumps that are purple and cheap?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
How about this one ? Even to a man of little means like myself, $20 seems like an entirely reasonable price.
How about this one ? Even to a man of little means like myself, $20 seems like an entirely reasonable price.
sncether
+0 -0
Baby, that's a wedge . You know, like the only pilot in the Rebel Alliance to survive both Death Star runs?
That's called a mnemonic, and now you'll never, ever shame yourself again by forgetting the proper name of this piece of footwear. You're welcome.
Baby, that's a wedge . You know, like the only pilot in the Rebel Alliance to survive both Death Star runs?
That's called a mnemonic, and now you'll never, ever shame yourself again by forgetting the proper name of this piece of footwear. You're welcome.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Despite its slingback, this shoe meets many of the above criteria.
[IMGS OFF]
Despite its slingback, this shoe meets many of the above criteria.
[IMGS OFF]
thegoblins
+0 -0
Apparently, Easy Spirit does not want images of its shoes to be misused.
https://www.easyspirit.com/Celinea/2896502,default,pd.html?omn=cross-sell&omnsource=2883573
Apparently, Easy Spirit does not want images of its shoes to be misused.
https://www.easyspirit.com/Celinea/2896502,default,pd.html?omn=cross-sell&omnsource=2883573
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
See, when I think of Molly's purple pumps i think of these.
See, when I think of Molly's purple pumps i think of these.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Absolutely, but the thing is, those aren't Easy Spirits. Apparently Easy Spirit doesn't do cheap, and requires a body double for all of its nude scenes!
Easy Spirit, when will you live up to your name?
Absolutely, but the thing is, those aren't Easy Spirits. Apparently Easy Spirit doesn't do cheap, and requires a body double for all of its nude scenes!
Easy Spirit, when will you live up to your name?
ashoykh
+1 -0
First Post!
First Post!
ashoykh
+0 -0
oh...
oh...
professorhazard
+0 -0
so close
so close
theguitarhero
+0 -0
yet so far away.
yet so far away.
kickstart
+0 -0
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?
syrupykeyboard
+0 -0
It would be so fine to see your face at my door?
It would be so fine to see your face at my door?
octafish
+0 -0
You can't talk to a man
With a shotgun in his hand.
Oh wait, wrong track
You can't talk to a man
With a shotgun in his hand.
Oh wait, wrong track
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm glad to see that at least three people were brave enough to reference that.
I'm glad to see that at least three people were brave enough to reference that.
squares
+0 -0
Largely nonsense.
Largely nonsense.
davey-boy
+1 -0
Hot piss, the blogs are back.
Hot piss, the blogs are back.
aperson
+1 -0
ALT TEXT: "The doctors tell the scientists that they have pictures and the scientists trade them all their copies of MAD Magazine"
ALT TEXT: "The doctors tell the scientists that they have pictures and the scientists trade them all their copies of MAD Magazine"
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Now we just need a farqusus lame, complaint and apology.
Now we just need a farqusus lame, complaint and apology.
squares
+1 -0
but no new strip anywhere close to noon!
but no new strip anywhere close to noon!
agentstinky
+0 -0
Yeah, does this mean no strip today? Do...do not DO this, Onstad! You are having such DICKNESS!
Yeah, does this mean no strip today? Do...do not DO this, Onstad! You are having such DICKNESS!
xiaomimi
+7 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: The Beef is back in town!
Molly: I got my MRS in RBK.
Today's Blogs
Ray: The Beef is back in town!
Molly: I got my MRS in RBK.
talbain
+1 -0
Oh sweet Jesus, no.
Beef... a YANKEES fan? And only because they're one of the wealthiest teams in the MLB?
I... I am unsure if I will ever like Beef again.
Oh sweet Jesus, no.
Beef... a YANKEES fan? And only because they're one of the wealthiest teams in the MLB?
I... I am unsure if I will ever like Beef again.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Say what you want about the Yanks, they make a nice hat.
Say what you want about the Yanks, they make a nice hat.
irondave
+0 -0
I was unsure of my feelings regarding Beef's choice of hat, but in his defense he did not say it was ONLY because of all the money. Maybe he just felt he wanted to be mainstream, for once. I support him in that.
I was unsure of my feelings regarding Beef's choice of hat, but in his defense he did not say it was ONLY because of all the money. Maybe he just felt he wanted to be mainstream, for once. I support him in that.
rick_v
+0 -0
I am crushed by the Yankee hat thing. Next thing you know he'll be buying Exxon-Mobil stock and such.
I am crushed by the Yankee hat thing. Next thing you know he'll be buying Exxon-Mobil stock and such.
talbain
+0 -0
LN's gonna have so much street cred when he gets back.
Who's willing to bet he raps about this experience (well, getting KOODGE'd in the chest)?
LN's gonna have so much street cred when he gets back.
Who's willing to bet he raps about this experience (well, getting KOODGE'd in the chest)?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Yeah, he would probably have to rephrase that to get any street cred whatsoever.
Yeah, he would probably have to rephrase that to get any street cred whatsoever.
professorhazard
+1 -0
When he gets back, he will be a cow wearing a shower cap.
When he gets back, he will be a cow wearing a shower cap.
techiebabe
+0 -0
Dammit, I'm out of chuppies. That comment was so good, I wish it were mine...
Dammit, I'm out of chuppies. That comment was so good, I wish it were mine...
speccer
+0 -0
V-chub.
V-chub.
squares
+0 -0
or little brittle! dogg wanted to be a vampire.
or little brittle! dogg wanted to be a vampire.
skoora
+1 -0
Hey guys, do you want to hear a polarizing comment regarding the blogs?
I'm disappointed in Beef because he bought a Yankees hat.
Hey guys, do you want to hear a polarizing comment regarding the blogs?
I'm disappointed in Beef because he bought a Yankees hat.
dusty
+1 -0
I'm disappointed in you for caring.
I'm disappointed in you for caring.
sabbac
+1 -0
I gotta say this "It's like he found this one disc he can stand on in the universe, a place where he has some balance" makes it all better
I gotta say this "It's like he found this one disc he can stand on in the universe, a place where he has some balance" makes it all better
gladi8orrex
+8 -1
i has snekin suspician i can repsot whenever nowdays an am no longer wristraned 2 1 post adey.
let deh test begin
i has snekin suspician i can repsot whenever nowdays an am no longer wristraned 2 1 post adey.
let deh test begin
under
+0 -0
give the man some chupps! he probably needs more to be able to repsot more1
give the man some chupps! he probably needs more to be able to repsot more1
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Hand face. One of the more original ones actually. Nice. Respond and demonstrate your freedom.
Hand face. One of the more original ones actually. Nice. Respond and demonstrate your freedom.
eatmorekix
+0 -0
viggo mortensen, now vincent cassel? did you really like eastern promises? because i did. maybe we can b frendz
viggo mortensen, now vincent cassel? did you really like eastern promises? because i did. maybe we can b frendz
octafish
+0 -0
Gladdi's next avaricon?
[IMGS OFF]
Gladdi's next avaricon?
[IMGS OFF]
lateadopter
+0 -0
Wrong actor. He keeps using that French guy with loose joints from Ocean's Twelve and Brotherhood of the Wolf.
Wrong actor. He keeps using that French guy with loose joints from Ocean's Twelve and Brotherhood of the Wolf.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
He used to use Viggo, and now uses Vincent, the actor you are mentioning. The only film both men have been in was Eastern Promises (fantastic movie). Thus, the eight-fold fish is promoting the possibility of using the third biggest male character from the film (some would argue second-biggest).
He used to use Viggo, and now uses Vincent, the actor you are mentioning. The only film both men have been in was Eastern Promises (fantastic movie). Thus, the eight-fold fish is promoting the possibility of using the third biggest male character from the film (some would argue second-biggest).
lateadopter
+0 -0
Ah, okay. I never saw Eastern Promises, it sounded depressing.
Ah, okay. I never saw Eastern Promises, it sounded depressing.
morypcaina
+0 -0
gladi8orrex please tell me how to get some more of monica bellucci's goooooooood ti i i i its
gladi8orrex please tell me how to get some more of monica bellucci's goooooooood ti i i i its
tragicone
+0 -0
I just realized they have a train with a magical cloaking device.
I just realized they have a train with a magical cloaking device.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah I had to read it again and saw the train fade into focus.
Yeah I had to read it again and saw the train fade into focus.
atrusrand
+0 -0
Lil' Nephew...?
Lil' Nephew...?
chloraloner
+1 -0
There's no glass in Little Nephew's window. He's imitating a bunny. The stress of death has reduced him to playing a childhood game.
There's no glass in Little Nephew's window. He's imitating a bunny. The stress of death has reduced him to playing a childhood game.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Haha...wow.
Haha...wow.
the_salesman
+0 -0
He is engaging bunniform meditation to deal with the stress of impending intra-dimensional locomotive travel.
He is engaging bunniform meditation to deal with the stress of impending intra-dimensional locomotive travel.
speccer
+0 -0
Or perhaps inter -dimensional locomotive travel. If it were intra-dimensional, it would be just plain old regular locomotive travel.
Unless they invented a dimension-crossing train I haven't heard about yet.
Or perhaps inter -dimensional locomotive travel. If it were intra-dimensional, it would be just plain old regular locomotive travel.
Unless they invented a dimension-crossing train I haven't heard about yet.
hbaranov
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
The truth is out there, bitches.
[IMGS OFF]
The truth is out there, bitches.
irondave
+0 -0
I would chubulate that if I had any to spare.
Oh, those winter afternoons on the Interdimensional Limited.
I would chubulate that if I had any to spare.
Oh, those winter afternoons on the Interdimensional Limited.
speccer
+0 -0
V-chub for an impeccably proper response.
V-chub for an impeccably proper response.
under
+0 -0
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
randyleepublic
+0 -0
^
|
The main steam - RBK's new hang.
Only why is it blinking?
^
|
The main steam - RBK's new hang.
Only why is it blinking?
squares
+0 -0
welcome to my ignore filter, bitch!
welcome to my ignore filter, bitch!
mortshire
+0 -0
I think I got 'em all! *phew*
What a dick.
I think I got 'em all! *phew*
What a dick.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Yo, to all on Firefox, just select Block images!
Yo, to all on Firefox, just select Block images!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Ignore is much easier.
Ignore is much easier.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I did that, after... but it means when the troll returns, it'll need a new source of fucking shitty images.
I did that, after... but it means when the troll returns, it'll need a new source of fucking shitty images.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
absolutely. is so simple.
absolutely. is so simple.
lateadopter
+0 -0
But blocking images would mean I couldn't see your inter-dimensional train, or anything by edwell or doc_rostov. Not funny, not a good suggestion.
But blocking images would mean I couldn't see your inter-dimensional train, or anything by edwell or doc_rostov. Not funny, not a good suggestion.
kickstart
+0 -0
in the firey fox, the control is fine enough to block images from a particular site (in this case, jesushatesyou.com)
in the firey fox, the control is fine enough to block images from a particular site (in this case, jesushatesyou.com)
lateadopter
+0 -0
In Onstad's defense:
1) Yesterday, when he said the strip would post at noon PDT on Wednesday, he didn't say which Wednesday.
2) The blog entry in the New Yorker is so hilarious, who needs a strip? That would just enables some asshole to come on here and claim that it killed their grandmother or some such thing.
In Onstad's defense:
1) Yesterday, when he said the strip would post at noon PDT on Wednesday, he didn't say which Wednesday.
2) The blog entry in the New Yorker is so hilarious, who needs a strip? That would just enables some asshole to come on here and claim that it killed their grandmother or some such thing.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Reading that interview made me feel smarter in a vague and intangible way. Perhaps Onstad should also replace the current New Yorker cartoonist. I would like to see a rendering by Edwell, Doc Rostov, or some other skilled person of a cross between Achewood and a typical New Yorker cartoon. There will be a prize.
(No prize will be given.)
Reading that interview made me feel smarter in a vague and intangible way. Perhaps Onstad should also replace the current New Yorker cartoonist. I would like to see a rendering by Edwell, Doc Rostov, or some other skilled person of a cross between Achewood and a typical New Yorker cartoon. There will be a prize.
(No prize will be given.)
speccer
+0 -0
The prize is chubbies. Lots and lots of chubbies. On a different strip, of course, since I'm sure a lot of people ran out by now on this one.
The prize is chubbies. Lots and lots of chubbies. On a different strip, of course, since I'm sure a lot of people ran out by now on this one.
pogo
+0 -0
Tru dat -- the blog entry is very hilarious.
Tru dat -- the blog entry is very hilarious.
epicurus
+0 -0
I rated this strip a five, but that was motivated 94% by the bottom-left panel.
I rated this strip a five, but that was motivated 94% by the bottom-left panel.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
And unless I'm sorely mistaken, this is the last we see of Charley, a.k.a. "Little Nephew" (as of March 20, 2009).
And unless I'm sorely mistaken, this is the last we see of Charley, a.k.a. "Little Nephew" (as of March 20, 2009).
The Champagne and the Clapper are an amazing contrast.
Ray is so rich he had a Clapper specifically designed to open his champagne bottles.
... and hired a penguin to do the clapping.
But Ray doesn't have the clapper!
A comment left by farqussus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by o2b, CatJumpJohn, StagnantDisplay, Courtland, dasilodavi, Daravon, campincarl)
i think it's safe to assume that once Ray realized he did not in fact have a clapper, he immediately replaced all the lighting in his house.
That seems entirely
reasonableRay to me.NEW WORD : Raysonable
adj.
(1.)expensive and superfluous.
(2.)capable of being turned into a raisin.
[i]A scientist offered to make me a cantaloupe raisin using a machine! Only $500! That's going to be one bomb-ass raisin, don't you think? At first I didn't think so, but now it seems perfectly raysonable .[i]
Rayonnaise?
Mustard-rayonaise?
This would be my Rayson d'etre...
A comment left by digested_fetus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, illgamesh, DanS, NumberKillinger)
Why are there so many screen names alluding to fetus-based violence?
A comment left by syrupykeyboard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Spoon, Marcus_Brody, sdskyle)
He is angry at the fetus piñata.
This is a great .gif animation! I could use this.
Ha ha, but really? Why would you even save that? C'mon.
Bashy hate foetus!
Also.
I think it's an natural reaction to there being over 6 billion humans on the planet. Clearly that is too many and we need to... well I'm not going to say it.
Alls I'm saying is that forbidden fruit is delicious [see Bible, page 10] and what's more forbidden than eating fetuses?
Don't even think that.
Bitch, why you steal my creation?
Because he is aiu.
A comment left by under was marked as spam and excluded. under: What a douche. (reported by Dezufnocosem, mortshire, lateadopter)
I fucking hate you and hope you die.
I knew that guy was a troll. Probably aiu. Come to think of it, I'm not sure we have any other trolls.
Does Dr. Manflesh still count as a troll, or is he some kind of Renaissance man now?
Personally, I ignore him, but that's just me.
Haha, your photoshop skills, they are terrible. My feelings on this asset are con
Hey, what...Oh, DAMN IT, digested fetus. At least spell foetus in the manner of a class act. Puh-leaze.
mustRayostardRayonnaise
That's enough of that.
No Ray, man!
You have my full support. Good luck in the future.
definite chubby for being able to weave both definitions into the demonstrative sentance.
I can picture Ray now: "Operator? Yea, get me Merriam-Webster on the phone. Whoever the head honcho is now."
"4:22 and drunk as a lord".
Maybe he picked up a trick or two just from being in the same room with his father.
Yeah, I immediately thought it was an inherited trait.
Whoops!
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
I think you have an issue with your transparency filter or some such high-tech nonsense that I know very little about.
As graphically low-class as it is, it is still a biting social commentary on current events.
Agreed.
Too bad it will now be banished to the ignore dimension along with the flashing gifs he's been posting. Why waste the effort on making quality posts if you're gonna be a troll anyway?
It is sad, though, to be torn between chubbying a post and ignoring the user. I already marked all the giant blinking gifs as spam, so this is the last post of under's where I can choose a path. You can't do two things on one post. I guess I'll have to ignore, just to make those things go away.
Wise move. If he's who we think he is, lames won't help. He'll just make a new account to get around them, and you will run out of lames. Then what will you do when people post Family Circus in here?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
w h y
Ray doesn't have the Clapper, yes. Remember - he is the son of the Man who can open a beer bottle with a well placed, "pfoo".
He's in training.
I think the bottle was already open and is just splashing a little in bed.
Speaking of splashing a little in bed I need to get me some of those pumps.
That's what she said.
I used to splash a little in bed sometimes when I was younger, and then my mom would yell at me and call me names and not let me watch Lost that day.
Wait. Lost ? How much younger can we possibly be talking? A few years?
which leads to the question...
is elbox from History??
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Squares, MollyBloom11, dwodles, gethen, Arbys, Fcannon)
to properly have it stuck to you, have one of these:
[IMGS OFF]
i'll try to refrain from this statement as much as i can (though it may be hard as we may be referencing History a lot with the company that LN's hooked up with.)
Still sort of ironing out ideas on what kind of poster you were going to be here, were ya? Cute.
Do you mean because he only types certain words in all caps and not all of them?
I see that I was one of the 2 people who chubbied him, actually. I still stand by that.
Yeah, just don't go back to my first post during Handface Weekend. I, ugh, I can't excuse that shit.
Out of respect, I will not.
That is the exact subtextual reading I was going for, though it took me disturbingly long to think of a reference that would immediately be recognized as recent.
You can see the cirk on Ray's pillow.
Cork, rather.
I'm sorry, but I can't see any cock in that picture
If you cannot see the cock in the picture then you are the cock. The picture has Zen Magical Realism.
The clapper opened the champagne bottle and the cork from the bottle turned off the light switch. Ray is a playa.
I had assumed that being Son of Luther, the ability to open Liquors through such means runs through his veins.
guy can't yet quite blow the top off of a bottle of brew, but the affinity for such a thing is there.
Yes in-fucking-deedy!
That's the perfect line for your new avicon.*
*[A guy sort of snapping his fingers across his body]
As I recall, he's actually demonstrating the strange sexual technique that Gomorrah was named after. True story! (Google that shit.)
Okay, I get the source now. Not funny, not cool.
MOST unsexily.
For Pogo, if he hasn't seen it already: Bible History #1
I recommend clicking "watch all episodes"--all good stuff.
Potentially nsfw, though. I mean, they're just cartoons...but you possibly don't want your boss to catch you watching cartoons. Cartoons that make fun of the bible and reference the masturbatory habits of a thirty-year-old man-child. Guess it depends on where you work.
If you work at a church, then chances are you're not on Assetbar so it's okay.
I wouldn't be so sure.
Yeah that's kinda stereotyping.
You'd be surprised.
As a guy that was on the leadership at a couple of churches recently, I can say that it is pretty standard amongst Western Christian morality to avoid dirty jokes, blasphemy, and the suchlike:
4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.
Ephesians 5:4 (New International Version)
(obviously there's a lot of other verses and contexts in the Bible that put forward this sorta idea)
Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood, because it's hilarious and I took verses like this and doctrines based on the general idea to be dependent on the social context (example: in Australia, you can say "ass/arse" on midday TV and nobody bats an eye, whereas in the US they even censor "balls" last time I checked - obscenity is dependent on your social context), and I also had a number of fellow born-again friends who enjoyed similar humour. So I'm not saying that everyone who's a serious Christian, or works in a church that falls within the pale of generally accepted Christian orthodoxy, will not read Achewood - but chances are , given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't.
That's all I'm sayin', bra.
Edit: "Now, I was a full-on Christian and constantly enjoyed Achewood during that time ..."
i consider myself a serious Christian and am taking a break from being a leader for my church's youth group. there are times that you can take yourself (and/or your beliefs) too seriously and that's where bible-thumping and abortion clinic bombings come from.
it's no secret that more people have been killed in the name of God than for any other reason..but when Jesus was all about loving people, you gotta step back sometimes and figure exactly where you stand.
Yeah I love Jesus and I love Achewood.
You can have your cake and go to heaven too.
I will reiterate what I say:
" chances are , given commonly accepted Christian teaching on course joking, they won't."
I'm not saying it doesn't happen. I'm actually agreeing with you.
Saul good, homestyle. just sayin' my thing. Achewood is a good comic. (and also a website!)
Not a problem. Didn't want it to sound like an attack on anyone's beliefs, instead making an attempted amusing comment about the standards of a particular subculture, in a deadpan fashion in context with the Assetbarian sub-subculture. Theological, ethical, or philosophical criticisms were not intended.
I personally have Issues and Bitterness that it would be folly to go into here*, but I'm not saying anyone's Right or Wrong or Stupid, either - because hell, I may well be. I just, currently, have disagreements, which are my own and should be neither your blessing nor your curse.
* I sorta went into it anyway.
now I'm nitpicking
"'coarse joking'"
I heard a top 40 radio station in the US censor "drugs" from that horrible Nickelback song "Rock Star".
When I was a DJ, we heard about some college station being fined for saying something "sucks".
Ha ha! What?
I've heard God censored on radio, as in Harvey Danger "They cut off my legs, now I'm an amputee **** damn you"
A lot of people censor 'god damn'. It's oft believed to fall under the realm of "Lord's name in vain". You can usually hear 'god' and 'damn', just not together
Yeah, but it's funny that they choose to censor "god" and not "damn" which is a borderline cuss word. Kind of like on network TV, if someone says "asshole" they bleep out "hole" instead of "ass". That always amused me.
Having to choose between Jesus and Achewood should never be an either/or .
It doesn't bother me that you feel that way.
But fuck you for making me read that sentence.
And now, I'm going to nitpick, because it's fun to. And I have a number of chips on my manly, lumberjackian shoulders:
Quote:
I hate it when people mention this, because by and large, I would argue that more people were killed in the name of greed than anything else.
Sometimes religious beliefs were the reasoning, but the vast majority of wars were fought purely due to one group of people wanting the natural resources/money/slaves/whatever of another group of people. Often religious beliefs were used, by rulers or society or both, and to varying extent, as a justification for it (see: The 2003 American Invasion of Iraq), but deep down it generally comes down to economics. This could potentially even be argued for The Crusades (I'll leave the details of such an argument for or against to someone more knowledgeable on the subject than I).
That's if we're talkin' wars, of course. Massacres, witchhunts, The Game , and various other murders and the suchlike: the most common reasoning for these are up to debate, and the variables are surely numerous.
as money is the root of all evil, i accede to your reasoning.
skrad: 1
capn: less than 1.
Quote:
[/i]10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.[/i]
1 Timothy 6:10
Okay I'll stop now. I wasn't going to be such a pedant, but I'd already pressed "Post".
BOOBS
LOVE THEM etc
I find it very amusing to watch two people being very careful to make sure neither offends the other.
Offensiveness is very underrated.
I fucked your mother just before she died. The last thing she saw was my sweaty sex face. She loved that terrible face more than she loved your existence.
it would've completely turned Assetbar into a civil war...though i would have like nobody on my side.
(and ultimately it would be kitty nom nom ftw)
I agree, the tired old cliche about people being killed in the name of religion needs to be debunked. Wars are about power and resources, and in Europe at least, both sides were saying "God bless us."
Y'all are so sensible!
Religion is messed up.
Quote:
The speaker at my sister's college was a Catholic cardinal, namely Cardinal Sin of the Philippines. He told dirty jokes during his speech. They involved husbands and wives, but the jokes were about sex. You could argue he was Eastern, but his religion was as Western as they come.
Wait, did you say his name was Cardinal Sin?
He did and it was.
Presbyterians seem to be the most liberal. We recently started allowing gay pastors and participating in the Day of Silence.
You got nothing on unitarians or Quakers.
By the way, it was my UU church that got shot up last week.
Not good, not cool, makes me a very pissed off and hurt UU.
Hey, I used to be one of them Presbyterians! Figures they'd let the gays in as soon as I left the church.
That's awesome, no doubt, but I repeat: it's not standard. Oh, I know full well that it happens, but not hugely often it's gotta be said.
I not only work at a church, I want to get my MDiv. And Achewood is just about my favorite thing ever!
Except for Jesus. He pretty much tops the list.
I've always thought the qualification "Master of Divinity" to be far too easily misconstrued as claiming something else entirely.
Being really good at making delicious, nougaty, vanilla-flavored confections?
For those who don't know
Sweet, sweet, sinful divinity.
Bible History wouldn't load, sorry.
Are you from...Bible History?
ohgawdohgawd i'm gonna be sick...
Dude, about a billion posts above, ethelthefrog wrote: For Pogo, if he hasn't seen it already: Bible History #1
Just keep trying until it works. Seriously pogo man. You neeeeeeed to see it.
Okay, I saw it, and it totally sucks ass.
I can't see it either, but it's because of the goddamn parental controls
Aw, diddums.
Indeed.
Sorry, way too inaccurate and exaggerated for me. Like little kids just using the Bible as an excuse to be "dirty."
[a guy demonstrating "Gemorrah - an even weirder move"]
i am a bad person because i didnt even LOOK below
That's okay man you have Madvillainy as your avicon... all is forgiven.
Ray applies the Fonzie technique to champagne bottles.