budenhagen
+24 -0
What in the damn hell
What in the damn hell
deus
+1 -0
I agree...unless...unless you're curious....
I agree...unless...unless you're curious....
dangelder
+21 -0
Chris is just "celebrating" his new "stroking method". He got a new "pressure" "sensitive" "input tablet" from "Wacom". It looks "really good" and "very clean" in my "opinion."
Chris is just "celebrating" his new "stroking method". He got a new "pressure" "sensitive" "input tablet" from "Wacom". It looks "really good" and "very clean" in my "opinion."
randombeing
+3 -0
The line weights are definitely new. No more stroked paths for our man Onstad, dear readers! He's Feeling the Glide now.
The line weights are definitely new. No more stroked paths for our man Onstad, dear readers! He's Feeling the Glide now.
morbo
+0 -1
the ASTRO glide
the ASTRO glide
evolume
+0 -0
On the first read through, I read "Cris" as "Christ".
On the first read through, I read "Cris" as "Christ".
defthammer
+0 -0
As did we all...as did we all.
As did we all...as did we all.
cracklewater
+20 -0
If you use the scroll-wheel on your mouse to rock the bottom of the strip back and forth - one click down, one click up - Teodor's head bobs rhythmically (and his eyebrows waggle a little).
He could be nodding or practicing.
If you use the scroll-wheel on your mouse to rock the bottom of the strip back and forth - one click down, one click up - Teodor's head bobs rhythmically (and his eyebrows waggle a little).
He could be nodding or practicing.
streever
+0 -0
that is incredible. Thank you.
that is incredible. Thank you.
gormster
+0 -0
i would make a gif of this, but there's no point. IMGS are OFF.
i would make a gif of this, but there's no point. IMGS are OFF.
tekende
+0 -0
To quote Cornelius, "That's so awesome!"
To quote Cornelius, "That's so awesome!"
m3tanoia
+1 -0
We are conscious of an animal in us, which awakens in proportion as our higher nature slumbers. It is reptile and sensual, and perhaps cannot be wholly expelled; like the worms which, even in life and health, occupy our bodies. Possibly we may withdraw from it, but never change its nature. I fear that it may enjoy a certain health of its own; that we may be well, yet not pure... I fear that we are such gods or demigods only as fauns and satyrs, the divine allied to beasts, the creatures of appetite, and that, to some extent, our very life is our disgrace.
We are conscious of an animal in us, which awakens in proportion as our higher nature slumbers. It is reptile and sensual, and perhaps cannot be wholly expelled; like the worms which, even in life and health, occupy our bodies. Possibly we may withdraw from it, but never change its nature. I fear that it may enjoy a certain health of its own; that we may be well, yet not pure... I fear that we are such gods or demigods only as fauns and satyrs, the divine allied to beasts, the creatures of appetite, and that, to some extent, our very life is our disgrace.
theirateturk
+1 -0
A man with a 10 inch penis would not use a zipper
A man with a 10 inch penis would not use a zipper
nullzero
+1 -0
Ehh, you get used to it. What, you think someone packing that would use velcro? Laces? Interlocking hooks?
Ehh, you get used to it. What, you think someone packing that would use velcro? Laces? Interlocking hooks?
theirateturk
+22 -0
The penises of less well-endowed men, naturally
The penises of less well-endowed men, naturally
shinkusan
+2 -0
I kind of really want an interlocking hook-based fly now.
I kind of really want an interlocking hook-based fly now.
lexsenthur
+1 -0
Eventually feeding your wang dang doodle down one leg of your pants becomes second nature, just like snaking a drain.
Eventually feeding your wang dang doodle down one leg of your pants becomes second nature, just like snaking a drain.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Also: totally called it. Nathan's packing.
Also: totally called it. Nathan's packing.
i_love_kate
+9 -0
You... you think he has a gun?
You... you think he has a gun?
gormster
+9 -0
With a 10-inch barrel.
That takes fifteen minutes to reload.
With a 10-inch barrel.
That takes fifteen minutes to reload.
hatstand_mcq
+3 -0
Fifteen minutes? Oh to be twenty one again.
Actually I doubt I've could have managed a fifteen minute turnaround since my mid teens, and given I wasn't having sex back then it wasn't a skill I had much use for.
Fifteen minutes? Oh to be twenty one again.
Actually I doubt I've could have managed a fifteen minute turnaround since my mid teens, and given I wasn't having sex back then it wasn't a skill I had much use for.
hatstand_mcq
+44 -0
This is Assetbar, and I am telling strangers about my refractory period.
This is Assetbar, and I am telling strangers about my refractory period.
stonecrab
+0 -0
Chuppied for LOL number 2...
Chuppied for LOL number 2...
crom
+3 -1
Yeah, one time I had a time with a girl, and ten minutes later she wanted it again.
I was like, "You don't understand how these work at all, do you?"
Yeah, one time I had a time with a girl, and ten minutes later she wanted it again.
I was like, "You don't understand how these work at all, do you?"
gorrioncita
+0 -0
"Listen up internet, I touched a girl once."
"Listen up internet, I touched a girl once."
plummet
+0 -0
-a collective gasp-
-a collective gasp-
belgand
+0 -0
And here I am with the opposite problem. I don't need ten minutes to go again, but she's always done after one.
And here I am with the opposite problem. I don't need ten minutes to go again, but she's always done after one.
macdaddyw
+2 -0
It's useful when you enter into a contest with others like you to see who in theory could have the most sex.
It's useful when you enter into a contest with others like you to see who in theory could have the most sex.
invidious
+1 -0
Final score: everybody tied at one.
Final score: everybody tied at one.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh it's his penis.
Oh it's his penis.
stonecrab
+0 -0
i_love-you-i-love-kate. First real LOL i've had in a looooong time!
i_love-you-i-love-kate. First real LOL i've had in a looooong time!
quazifuji
+0 -0
I believe you're thinking of the term packing heat. Nathan is, in fact, packing meat.
I believe you're thinking of the term packing heat. Nathan is, in fact, packing meat.
mockereo
+3 -0
Nathan's "little Nathan" is quite a nice peter.
Nathan's "little Nathan" is quite a nice peter.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Velcro and pubes mix too well for comfort.
Velcro and pubes mix too well for comfort.
twotonturkey
+0 -0
I was thinking 501 button fly jeans would be a better choice. Less chance of injury.
I was thinking 501 button fly jeans would be a better choice. Less chance of injury.
wednesday
+3 -0
Nah. That's like wearing a buttoned shirt with 44F boobs: too much gapping, could pop a button if you're not careful.
Nah. That's like wearing a buttoned shirt with 44F boobs: too much gapping, could pop a button if you're not careful.
gormster
+0 -0
You are confusing girth with length. Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's a grower not a shower. No-one has a 10-inch flaccid penis.
Of course if he's hard, then yes, I agree, zip flies can be a nuisance - if not downright painful - which is why I stopped freeballing. That, and the itching.
You are confusing girth with length. Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's a grower not a shower. No-one has a 10-inch flaccid penis.
Of course if he's hard, then yes, I agree, zip flies can be a nuisance - if not downright painful - which is why I stopped freeballing. That, and the itching.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Freeballing? I've never heard that word before. I'm not sure if I like it. I'll get back to you about that.
I've never been one for omitting pants, because I don't like to have to change my trousers daily, and I also don't like having thrush.
Freeballing? I've never heard that word before. I'm not sure if I like it. I'll get back to you about that.
I've never been one for omitting pants, because I don't like to have to change my trousers daily, and I also don't like having thrush.
thespoof
+0 -0
thrush? never heard that before.
Freeballing is pretty pointless, especially if you have the wang hole on your undies
thrush? never heard that before.
Freeballing is pretty pointless, especially if you have the wang hole on your undies
lemmy
+6 -0
underwear is just another layer between you and the party...
underwear is just another layer between you and the party...
shelbydavis
+0 -0
hatstand, you have *almost* heard it:
"Can't talk now, bro, I'm three-ballin'."
hatstand, you have *almost* heard it:
"Can't talk now, bro, I'm three-ballin'."
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Crap.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=01132006
Crap.
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=01132006
semi_retarded
+2 -0
oh my god this dude is so British
oh my god this dude is so British
gormster
+0 -0
oh my god dude
oh my god dude
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
You pretty much just wear briefs and stuff it down the trouser leg; buttons work no problem.
You pretty much just wear briefs and stuff it down the trouser leg; buttons work no problem.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
Fuck 501s, they're made for people with unnaturally thin thighs. Fuck 501s.
Fuck 501s, they're made for people with unnaturally thin thighs. Fuck 501s.
shelbydavis
+4 -0
I started to chubby you as a man with this same problem, but was told I had chubbied enough. The irony was a bit much.
I started to chubby you as a man with this same problem, but was told I had chubbied enough. The irony was a bit much.
sn0wman
+1 -0
This is not irony.
This is not irony.
mockereo
+4 -0
too chubby to give a chubby boy a chubby.
if it's not irony, it's at least a wordplay triple kill.
too chubby to give a chubby boy a chubby.
if it's not irony, it's at least a wordplay triple kill.
foiegrastaco
+1 -0
the most impressive bit of triple word play i've ever come across was in the atkins diet book of all effing places. he's got this thing he's calling the 'fat fast', which is an overkill excessive calorie restriction last resort deal where 100% of said limited calories come from fat. it's a last resort for people for whom his diet just isn't working. thus it is a 'fat fast' (decreased diet of solely fat) for the 'fat fast' (those who are stuck with their fat), but it is not for those who want to lose 'fat fast' (crash dieting)
the most impressive bit of triple word play i've ever come across was in the atkins diet book of all effing places. he's got this thing he's calling the 'fat fast', which is an overkill excessive calorie restriction last resort deal where 100% of said limited calories come from fat. it's a last resort for people for whom his diet just isn't working. thus it is a 'fat fast' (decreased diet of solely fat) for the 'fat fast' (those who are stuck with their fat), but it is not for those who want to lose 'fat fast' (crash dieting)
ratacattt
+4 -1
so if you were reading that then you must be a whale?
so if you were reading that then you must be a whale?
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
if i had to be a cetacean to learn that gem, it was worth every mcgangbang!
if i had to be a cetacean to learn that gem, it was worth every mcgangbang!
ratacattt
+0 -0
oh man I love mcd I remember back in the 80's when it was like hot side hot cold side cold in this styrofoam box or was that burger king either way man that brings back memories
by the way sorry for being an asshole it's what I do on here sometimes just for fun
oh man I love mcd I remember back in the 80's when it was like hot side hot cold side cold in this styrofoam box or was that burger king either way man that brings back memories
by the way sorry for being an asshole it's what I do on here sometimes just for fun
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i do remember ... hearing something like that. i think denny's has some fancy-ass to-go box technology now with 2 stories (like a building) to it so that the hot wet food on the bottom kinda steams the top level of food, in some sort of hot steamy box action
i do remember ... hearing something like that. i think denny's has some fancy-ass to-go box technology now with 2 stories (like a building) to it so that the hot wet food on the bottom kinda steams the top level of food, in some sort of hot steamy box action
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
also did you appreciate the fat/fast wit at all? i still think it's the cleverest thing i've ever heard
also did you appreciate the fat/fast wit at all? i still think it's the cleverest thing i've ever heard
streever
+0 -0
It was very clever, but you are wasting your texts on Ratacattt, pearls before swine and all that.
It was very clever, but you are wasting your texts on Ratacattt, pearls before swine and all that.
ratacattt
+0 -0
and fuck you streever go eat your own liver or something like that
and fuck you streever go eat your own liver or something like that
streever
+0 -0
This is why we can't have nice things.
This is why we can't have nice things.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
ratacattt and i are toootally bff irl tho
ratacattt and i are toootally bff irl tho
streever
+0 -0
Then you are aware of the problems he poses, yes?
Then you are aware of the problems he poses, yes?
ratacattt
+0 -0
I have no idea who foiegrastco is I never met 'em in my life
except this one time...
I have no idea who foiegrastco is I never met 'em in my life
except this one time...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Whoa whoa okay, I am not a chubby boy. That's the point, 501s are made only for those superthing jipster models in the commercials. And my father.
Whoa whoa okay, I am not a chubby boy. That's the point, 501s are made only for those superthing jipster models in the commercials. And my father.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
mcgangbanged because you're a whale
mcgangbanged because you're a whale
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The fuck.
The fuck.
i_love_kate
+6 -0
I like this new guy.
I like this new guy.
shelbydavis
+1 -0
Yeah man sorry I didn't mean to imply that. I'm not either. I just feel like one in those jeans.
Yeah man sorry I didn't mean to imply that. I'm not either. I just feel like one in those jeans.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Chubbied because I totally sympathize, though let it be known I'm not ACTUALLY CHUBBY OK GUYS.
Chubbied because I totally sympathize, though let it be known I'm not ACTUALLY CHUBBY OK GUYS.
granularsilica
+1 -0
Methinks he dost protest too much ...
Methinks he dost protest too much ...
daidai
+1 -0
How can you be in denial when the issue is fatassery?
You see the evidence every time you look at the hambeast in the mirror.
How can you be in denial when the issue is fatassery?
You see the evidence every time you look at the hambeast in the mirror.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
"Hambeast" by daidai drops August 21st in music stores everywhere.
"Hambeast" by daidai drops August 21st in music stores everywhere.
belgand
+0 -0
You must be buying different jeans than I because I am far from being some sort of thing hipster model type. Running closer to a little Teodor chub and I wear shrink-to-fit 501s without any sort of problem at all.
You must be buying different jeans than I because I am far from being some sort of thing hipster model type. Running closer to a little Teodor chub and I wear shrink-to-fit 501s without any sort of problem at all.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
It's has to do with body mass distribution. Like, I'm (or was until very recently) a semi-competitive marathoner/ultramarathoner, so I'm pretty lean, but have a genetic predisposition to put every spare ounce on the thighs. As if they weren't huge enough with all the trail running. So you can see my ribs, but I can't wear 501s.
It's has to do with body mass distribution. Like, I'm (or was until very recently) a semi-competitive marathoner/ultramarathoner, so I'm pretty lean, but have a genetic predisposition to put every spare ounce on the thighs. As if they weren't huge enough with all the trail running. So you can see my ribs, but I can't wear 501s.
shelbydavis
+2 -0
This is Assetbar, and I am telling strangers about myrefractory period . thunder thighs.
This is Assetbar, and I am telling strangers about my
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WE ARE!
ASSETBAR!
WE ARE!
ASSETBAR!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
heccibiggs beat you to it back in the archives, so don't worry too much.
heccibiggs beat you to it back in the archives, so don't worry too much.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Slam on hecci's huge thighs out of nowhere!
Slam on hecci's huge thighs out of nowhere!
ratacattt
+1 -0
ewww
ewww
i_love_kate
+0 -0
She'd probably prefer it if she received at least a small forewarning.
She'd probably prefer it if she received at least a small forewarning.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Yeah, I heard she's okay with small ones.
Yeah, I heard she's okay with small ones.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Well yes, I don't buy 501s. But then again I haven't tried a pair in a while. Maybe they fit better now since I've lost weight, who knows? All I know is last time I tried any pair of Levis' with legs thinner than "Regular," I couldn't get them on all the way. I wear 569s but that style is starting to get a bit big on me, I need something between those two models.
Well yes, I don't buy 501s. But then again I haven't tried a pair in a while. Maybe they fit better now since I've lost weight, who knows? All I know is last time I tried any pair of Levis' with legs thinner than "Regular," I couldn't get them on all the way. I wear 569s but that style is starting to get a bit big on me, I need something between those two models.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
THIS IS ASSETBAR AND I AM TELLING STRANGERS WHAT KIND OF JEANS I WEAR
If I'm not mailed several pairs of 569s I will be disappointed.
THIS IS ASSETBAR AND I AM TELLING STRANGERS WHAT KIND OF JEANS I WEAR
If I'm not mailed several pairs of 569s I will be disappointed.
stereo
+0 -0
I basically look through the smallest jeans until one fits. No idea what make or model they are.
I basically look through the smallest jeans until one fits. No idea what make or model they are.
semi_retarded
+0 -0
ironing*
ironing*
belgand
+0 -0
Button flys are a pain in the ass to button up again and the 501s are possibly the worst of them all because the buttons themselves are just a bit too small to get any leverage with. I shouldn't end up standing at the urinal for 5 minutes trying to close things up. Zippers are just fast and convenient and you never have a lady get flummoxed with them and decide that she can no longer be bothered.
Button flys are a pain in the ass to button up again and the 501s are possibly the worst of them all because the buttons themselves are just a bit too small to get any leverage with. I shouldn't end up standing at the urinal for 5 minutes trying to close things up. Zippers are just fast and convenient and you never have a lady get flummoxed with them and decide that she can no longer be bothered.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Your ladies... they have attention difficulties? Also: The Ladies that are Defeated by Buttons probably faint at the sight of shoe laces.
Your ladies... they have attention difficulties? Also: The Ladies that are Defeated by Buttons probably faint at the sight of shoe laces.
deus
+0 -0
He would if he had a codpiece
He would if he had a codpiece
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Specially fitted cock-piece.
Specially fitted cock-piece.
soticoto
+0 -0
A man with a 10 inch penis who himself is probably at best around 2 foot tall... probably has serious issues.
A man with a 10 inch penis who himself is probably at best around 2 foot tall... probably has serious issues.
yorkshiretea
+2 -0
I wish my neighbour had a Ferrari, he only had a Volvo
I wish my neighbour had a Ferrari, he only had a Volvo
vegasrebel29
+2 -0
The plot thickens.
The plot thickens.
vegasrebel29
+9 -0
As does Nathan's cock.
As does Nathan's cock.
gormster
+0 -0
Chubbies.
Chubbies.
overmedicated
+1 -0
Wait, he has two ?
Wait, he has two ?
streever
+0 -0
... doesn't everyone?
... doesn't everyone?
deus
+0 -0
Question...would you chubby yorkshiretea if he was a seconds early.
Question...would you chubby yorkshiretea if he was a seconds early.
yorkshiretea
+0 -1
It's not the only thing that's thickening
It's not the only thing that's thickening
deus
+0 -0
To late...to late....
To late...to late....
shinkusan
+6 -0
To late! To late! We march onwards in to late!
oh, I was too late.
To late! To late! We march onwards in to late!
oh, I was too late.
yorkshiretea
+1 -1
It's not the only thing that's 'too late'
It's not the only thing that's 'too late'
gelter
+4 -0
One does not simply walk in too late.
One does not simply walk in too late.
foiegrastaco
+2 -0
oh no =(
oh no =(
foiegrastaco
+9 -0
onstad nooo
onstad nooo
dusty
+0 -0
I agree.
I agree.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
when my spinster uncle first recommended i start reading achewood as a graduation gift i know he didn't have strips like this in mind.
when my spinster uncle first recommended i start reading achewood as a graduation gift i know he didn't have strips like this in mind.
foiegrastaco
+4 -0
ah, he probably did.
ah, he probably did.
ratacattt
+0 -0
spinster?
spinster?
mockereo
+1 -0
Lemme get this straight. Your "uncle" is spinster, so "he" is an old, unmarriable woman? so he's like a big hot tranny mess?
Lemme get this straight. Your "uncle" is spinster, so "he" is an old, unmarriable woman? so he's like a big hot tranny mess?
dusty
+5 -0
Well, probably not a hot one.
Well, probably not a hot one.
mockereo
+1 -0
yeah old people are always cold. how many old men have you seen wearing brown slacks and a beige jacket when it's a really hot, sunny day?
yeah old people are always cold. how many old men have you seen wearing brown slacks and a beige jacket when it's a really hot, sunny day?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
My Great-Uncle used to claim that it was down to a thinning of the blood. That's good old fashioned medical mumbo-jumbo from another age. He drank a pink gin on the dot of eleven-thirty, kissed the hand of every lady he met, and loved to go to funerals.
My Great-Uncle used to claim that it was down to a thinning of the blood. That's good old fashioned medical mumbo-jumbo from another age. He drank a pink gin on the dot of eleven-thirty, kissed the hand of every lady he met, and loved to go to funerals.
smallblackdog
+1 -0
were kissing their hand and going to funerals in any way related?
were kissing their hand and going to funerals in any way related?
shelbydavis
+1 -0
11:30 AM or PM? 'Cause that's either really early for gin or a lot later than I've ever known old people to stay awake for.
11:30 AM or PM? 'Cause that's either really early for gin or a lot later than I've ever known old people to stay awake for.
streever
+0 -0
This just in: Your uncle is a weird guy.
This just in: Your uncle is a weird guy.
foiegrastaco
+2 -0
but he has so many darling cats
but he has so many darling cats
semi_retarded
+3 -0
your graduation gift was a link to a comic strip website?
what a cheapo
your graduation gift was a link to a comic strip website?
what a cheapo
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
yeah but i was able to get on the achewood bandwagon early enough to give me years of something to be pretentious about through college. you know, before it got 'all big'. a truly priceless gift for a maladjusted linguistics major. i'm not saying anybody here is pretentious; i am saying we all probably know 'that' achewood fan.
yeah but i was able to get on the achewood bandwagon early enough to give me years of something to be pretentious about through college. you know, before it got 'all big'. a truly priceless gift for a maladjusted linguistics major. i'm not saying anybody here is pretentious; i am saying we all probably know 'that' achewood fan.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i was 'that' achewood fan. also a whale (see above)
i was 'that' achewood fan. also a whale (see above)
ratacattt
+0 -0
where the fuck have you been? Have you been lurking assetbar all this time? Did you post here on a regular basis before under another account?
where the fuck have you been? Have you been lurking assetbar all this time? Did you post here on a regular basis before under another account?
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
;)
;)
justglad
+1 -0
no one would do that
no one would do that
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i did not do that, for sure
i did not do that, for sure
granularsilica
+0 -0
Another account? You think I jump around like a pogo stick?
Another account? You think I jump around like a pogo stick?
semi_retarded
+0 -0
My daughter! *slap* My sister! *slap* My daughter! *slap* My sister! *slap*
My daughter! *slap* My sister! *slap* My daughter! *slap* My sister! *slap*
meringue
+0 -1
meh
meh
deus
+1 -0
At this point I would rather try to chew off the padlock.
At this point I would rather try to chew off the padlock.
theirateturk
+11 -0
You would, you disgusting homo
You would, you disgusting homo
deus
+0 -0
God dammit....HOW MANY EUPHEMISMS for cocks are there?!
God dammit....HOW MANY EUPHEMISMS for cocks are there?!
deus
+0 -0
I mean penis...
I mean penis...
theirateturk
+0 -0
I wasn't talking about cock you cock on the brain poof
I wasn't talking about cock you cock on the brain poof
deus
+0 -0
I'm not a poof you fairy!
I'm not a poof you fairy!
i_love_kate
+2 -0
I'm not a fairy, but given half a chance I'd be dancing in one of their rings.
I'm not a fairy, but given half a chance I'd be dancing in one of their rings.
plummet
+3 -2
I'd dance in YOUR ring, if you know what I mean.
I'd dance in YOUR ring, if you know what I mean.
deus
+1 -1
Dance around in the brown groove.
Dance around in the brown groove.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i read that as 'grove' and am now refusing to read it any other way
i read that as 'grove' and am now refusing to read it any other way
deus
+0 -0
actually...you would be right, because i misspelled grove as groove...
so..go ahead and refuse...you will be correcting my mistakes.
actually...you would be right, because i misspelled grove as groove...
so..go ahead and refuse...you will be correcting my mistakes.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
RAD
RAD
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
it implies more hair my way
it implies more hair my way
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
EWWWWW 'brown groove' is almost not even a euphemism! that is dog shit
EWWWWW 'brown groove' is almost not even a euphemism! that is dog shit
plummet
+1 -0
awesome, i got lamed for trying to be homosexual
that is excellent
awesome, i got lamed for trying to be homosexual
that is excellent
deus
+0 -0
Its our lot in life...
Its our lot in life...
invidious
+0 -0
Do or do not. There is no try.
Do or do not. There is no try.
semi_retarded
+0 -0
You just got a pity chubby.
Deal with it.
You just got a pity chubby.
Deal with it.
quazifuji
+0 -0
Pretty much everything can be a euphemism, given the proper context and tone , if you know what I mean.
Pretty much everything can be a euphemism, given the proper context and tone , if you know what I mean.
deus
+0 -0
Tone...?! I'll give you a "Tone" you dirty fucker!
Tone...?! I'll give you a "Tone" you dirty fucker!
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
a band i like who speaks english as a second language will often replace a 't' with a 'th'
INTERRUPTED BY A FEARFUL THONE!
a band i like who speaks english as a second language will often replace a 't' with a 'th'
INTERRUPTED BY A FEARFUL THONE!
bartleby
+0 -0
The best are German and Scandanavian bands who pronounce short "i"s as "ee". Un-ee-verse, Un-ee-corn, Hel-ee-copter, etc.
The best are German and Scandanavian bands who pronounce short "i"s as "ee". Un-ee-verse, Un-ee-corn, Hel-ee-copter, etc.
deus
+0 -0
actually we say ønekorn
actually we say ønekorn
foiegrastaco
+1 -0
You pronounce it 'heela-copter'? Everyone I know says 'hella-copter'.
You pronounce it 'heela-copter'? Everyone I know says 'hella-copter'.
deus
+0 -0
hålekåpter
hålekåpter
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i wish my craptop would display those characters cuz i'd probably dig it
i wish my craptop would display those characters cuz i'd probably dig it
deus
+0 -0
Its crossed out 'O's phonetically...imagine Jacques Clouseau in the Pink Panther movies.
Its crossed out 'O's phonetically...imagine Jacques Clouseau in the Pink Panther movies.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
oh oh or replacing /v/ with /w/, like 'wodka'; always cute. a famous archaeologist referred to them as 'wubble-you's'
oh oh or replacing /v/ with /w/, like 'wodka'; always cute. a famous archaeologist referred to them as 'wubble-you's'
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i am disappointed that y'all a)didn't get the indiana jones reference and/or b)didn't care enough to react. =(
i am disappointed that y'all a)didn't get the indiana jones reference and/or b)didn't care enough to react. =(
ratacattt
+0 -0
not everyone watches indiana jones it is tripe
not everyone watches indiana jones it is tripe
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
as an avid menudo enthusiast, i'm going to need to point out here that not everyone considers tripe nasty. also aww.
as an avid menudo enthusiast, i'm going to need to point out here that not everyone considers tripe nasty. also aww.
ratacattt
+0 -0
menudo? Telemenudo, the tripe spanish language TV station?
menudo? Telemenudo, the tripe spanish language TV station?
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
yes! the beloved mexican hangover remedy!
yes! the beloved mexican hangover remedy!
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Don't try it man. Chewing off the padlock is the new picking up the soap.
Don't try it man. Chewing off the padlock is the new picking up the soap.
twotonturkey
+11 -0
I'm not opposed to Teodor's questioning of his sexuality, it just seems like the back of a flaming van driven by Nice Pete is a poor venue to make that decision.
I'm not opposed to Teodor's questioning of his sexuality, it just seems like the back of a flaming van driven by Nice Pete is a poor venue to make that decision.
deus
+1 -0
those venues creates incentives man...incentives!
those venues creates incentives man...incentives!
dusty
+1 -0
If Pete looks back there and some knob-slobbin' is going on, that to him could be a heartwarming scene, it might save them.
If Pete looks back there and some knob-slobbin' is going on, that to him could be a heartwarming scene, it might save them.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
knob-slobbin'! choice!
knob-slobbin'! choice!
dusty
+2 -0
MOIST
MOIST
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
va-va-va-voiced?
va-va-va-voiced?
foiegrastaco
+7 -0
i keep hitting chubby instead of 'reply' but it's a friendly problem to have!
i keep hitting chubby instead of 'reply' but it's a friendly problem to have!
ratacattt
+0 -0
narcotics
narcotics
deus
+0 -0
heavy...heavy narcotics...makes the world go around...
except me...Im out of Ritalin.
heavy...heavy narcotics...makes the world go around...
except me...Im out of Ritalin.
dusty
+26 -0
In middle school I had the same problem whenever I tried to talk to girls.
In middle school I had the same problem whenever I tried to talk to girls.
gelter
+0 -0
oh man have a virtual chub
oh man have a virtual chub
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
oh shit i meant to reply
oh shit i meant to reply
foiegrastaco
+2 -0
i feel like my mom trying to 'hack into' (her words) myspace (without an account to begin with) by entering her work email and password
i feel like my mom trying to 'hack into' (her words) myspace (without an account to begin with) by entering her work email and password
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
On good days, Nathan's chubby IS his reply.
On good days, Nathan's chubby IS his reply.
omegatron
+1 -0
Once I was cleaning my parents' house and my friend called me. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was polishing a knob.
It was the truth!
Once I was cleaning my parents' house and my friend called me. He asked what I was doing and I told him I was polishing a knob.
It was the truth!
history
+1 -0
Are we sure this wasn't the plan all along for Nice Pete? Like a high school dare...which would you rather do, die or slob a knob?
Are we sure this wasn't the plan all along for Nice Pete? Like a high school dare...which would you rather do, die or slob a knob?
hatstand_mcq
+51 -0
I feel that if you are a gay man trying to tempt a straight man into last-minute bum-burglary you should probably try to suck him off, rather than vice versa. I think almost any man would be at least passingly tempted to shut their eyes and think of England, but to actually perform fellatio would seem to take one a bit further down the rabbit hole (so to speak) than any sexual adventurer would want to go on the first time. What I'm saying is, Gay Island might look worth a visit, but you don't necessarily want to suck off the Governor. I forget what point I was making here.
I feel that if you are a gay man trying to tempt a straight man into last-minute bum-burglary you should probably try to suck him off, rather than vice versa. I think almost any man would be at least passingly tempted to shut their eyes and think of England, but to actually perform fellatio would seem to take one a bit further down the rabbit hole (so to speak) than any sexual adventurer would want to go on the first time. What I'm saying is, Gay Island might look worth a visit, but you don't necessarily want to suck off the Governor. I forget what point I was making here.
stonecrab
+2 -2
Oh god oh god...V-chub, cuz i ran out. LOLOLOL
I'm sorry, it's just that im really stoned at the moment.
Oh god oh god...V-chub, cuz i ran out. LOLOLOL
I'm sorry, it's just that im really stoned at the moment.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
The point lost, analogies compounds upon another and Comedy happens. I love you.
The point lost, analogies compounds upon another and Comedy happens. I love you.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
HEY ANALOGIES COMPOUND THEY DON'T COMPOUNDS THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
HEY ANALOGIES COMPOUND THEY DON'T COMPOUNDS THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE
shelbydavis
+0 -0
His analogies pounds upon each other, if you get my drift.
His analogies pounds upon each other, if you get my drift.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
im assuming here, but im not the only one who looks at the word 'analogy' and secretly wishes it meant 'the study of anal', right? thinking of how you could use that meaning to take a joke to the next level but knowing you'd fail every time.
im assuming here, but im not the only one who looks at the word 'analogy' and secretly wishes it meant 'the study of anal', right? thinking of how you could use that meaning to take a joke to the next level but knowing you'd fail every time.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
haha. ASSuming.
haha. ASSuming.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Analology...? Analanalysis? Analography, the mapping of anal territories. NASA hasn't gotten to that one yet Michael Bluth!
Analology...? Analanalysis? Analography, the mapping of anal territories. NASA hasn't gotten to that one yet Michael Bluth!
foiegrastaco
+2 -0
analographilingus, the mapping of anal territories, with the mouth
analographilingus, the mapping of anal territories, with the mouth
rocketbunny
+0 -0
There's a company I've come across/deal with in my line of work called AnalTech. While I am sure that they meant "Anal" like "Analysis," this is still clearly a poor choice of wording.
There's a company I've come across/deal with in my line of work called AnalTech. While I am sure that they meant "Anal" like "Analysis," this is still clearly a poor choice of wording.
falseprophet
+1 -0
I'm an analyst and a therapist.
Analrapist.
I'm an analyst and a therapist.
Analrapist.
biznart
+0 -0
I would make a reference to that time you blue yourself, but it loses its impact in print.
I would make a reference to that time you blue yourself, but it loses its impact in print.
mockereo
+0 -0
i bet you also wear jean cutoffs at all times
i bet you also wear jean cutoffs at all times
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I couldn't help it, the wind brought it right over here.
I couldn't help it, the wind brought it right over here.
gormster
+0 -0
Gay Island is lovely this time of year. The Cock trees are blossoming. The natives hold a festival.
Gay Island is lovely this time of year. The Cock trees are blossoming. The natives hold a festival.
belgand
+0 -0
You make a good point, but I think that if you're short on time you should try to go for it first. I mean, he isn't trying to ram him unlubed, just a quick suck for a curious dude. If that doesn't work he still has a chance to say that he'll show him how it's done first and see if he can get him interested that way.
I'm not going to try and spend my time in the back of a van trying to convince a lesbian that she really wants me to go down on her because I'm not really getting much out of the deal. It's a lot of work for almost no return. Now, on the other hand if I can convince her that maybe she'd like to try it from the other side. See what she might have been missing out on and indulge a little curiosity for how the other half lives I might have a shot at getting somewhere.
Do you really want to spend your last moments giving or getting? Makes all the sense in the world.
You make a good point, but I think that if you're short on time you should try to go for it first. I mean, he isn't trying to ram him unlubed, just a quick suck for a curious dude. If that doesn't work he still has a chance to say that he'll show him how it's done first and see if he can get him interested that way.
I'm not going to try and spend my time in the back of a van trying to convince a lesbian that she really wants me to go down on her because I'm not really getting much out of the deal. It's a lot of work for almost no return. Now, on the other hand if I can convince her that maybe she'd like to try it from the other side. See what she might have been missing out on and indulge a little curiosity for how the other half lives I might have a shot at getting somewhere.
Do you really want to spend your last moments giving or getting? Makes all the sense in the world.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i hope the island/governor imagery was inspired by monkey island
i hope the island/governor imagery was inspired by monkey island
professordoctor
+0 -0
[b[No.[/b[
[b[No.[/b[
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Well, OK, maybe.
Well, OK, maybe.
professordoctor
+0 -0
Why do you taunt me so fineoakstructure? I thought we were amigos!
Why do you taunt me so fineoakstructure? I thought we were amigos!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
professordoctor, you are rad! You... are... rad!
professordoctor, you are rad! You... are... rad!
professordoctor
+0 -0
I love you bro!
I love you bro!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Well no, not really. It was inspired by the fact many islands, in the Caribbean and elsewhere, were, at points in their histories, in the hands of European colonial powers. These possessions were often in direct control of the head of state of a given country, for example those parts of the British Empire designated Crown Colonies. That meant that the head of state held a theoretically autocratic position over the territory, and was permitted to exercise full executive control of said colony without consultation, and unbounded by parliament or constitution. In practice many of these Colonies were allowed considerable self government, and in the case of the British Empire some of the larger ones became autonomous dominions, and in all cases the theoretical and practical powers of monarch or head of state were devolved to an appointed governor. For this reason most of the larger Caribbean islands during the so-called Golden Age of Piracy were in the hands of Governors, which accounts for the title's frequent appearances in fictional depictions of that era, for example Monkey Island. Many Overseas Territories, and Commonwealth nations in personal union with the British Crown still have governors, so no, I wasn't inspired by Monkey Island any more than the Mayor who got hot bloody fat on him was Mayor McCheese. Though I suppose hot bloody fat isn't necessarily a bad thing to have in a hamburger, as long as you ordered it rare.
Well no, not really. It was inspired by the fact many islands, in the Caribbean and elsewhere, were, at points in their histories, in the hands of European colonial powers. These possessions were often in direct control of the head of state of a given country, for example those parts of the British Empire designated Crown Colonies. That meant that the head of state held a theoretically autocratic position over the territory, and was permitted to exercise full executive control of said colony without consultation, and unbounded by parliament or constitution. In practice many of these Colonies were allowed considerable self government, and in the case of the British Empire some of the larger ones became autonomous dominions, and in all cases the theoretical and practical powers of monarch or head of state were devolved to an appointed governor. For this reason most of the larger Caribbean islands during the so-called Golden Age of Piracy were in the hands of Governors, which accounts for the title's frequent appearances in fictional depictions of that era, for example Monkey Island. Many Overseas Territories, and Commonwealth nations in personal union with the British Crown still have governors, so no, I wasn't inspired by Monkey Island any more than the Mayor who got hot bloody fat on him was Mayor McCheese. Though I suppose hot bloody fat isn't necessarily a bad thing to have in a hamburger, as long as you ordered it rare.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
ah, but if you ordered it rare it wouldn't be hot. tsk.
ah, but if you ordered it rare it wouldn't be hot. tsk.
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Oh, how he thrashes in the hot, hot waters of Homosexual Experimentation Creek.
Oh, how he thrashes in the hot, hot waters of Homosexual Experimentation Creek.
jetbunny
+0 -0
Oh god, v-chubbed.
Oh god, v-chubbed.
thespoof
+0 -0
what does v-chubbed mean, been around for a while but i never got that
what does v-chubbed mean, been around for a while but i never got that
wingspan
+0 -0
"virtual chubby". chubsluts who give all their chubbies away too quickly must resort to pretending.
"virtual chubby". chubsluts who give all their chubbies away too quickly must resort to pretending.
ratacattt
+0 -0
thespoof is kind of slow
thespoof is kind of slow
thespoof
+0 -0
thanks, now i know. And knowing is half the battle
thanks, now i know. And knowing is half the battle
jetbunny
+0 -0
Hey man, I tried to save my chubbies for marriage, but after this one college party it was all downhill from there.
Hey man, I tried to save my chubbies for marriage, but after this one college party it was all downhill from there.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
Of course, by flaming, you are referring to actual fire, and not the raw, unadulterated homosexuality going on right now, right?
Of course, by flaming, you are referring to actual fire, and not the raw, unadulterated homosexuality going on right now, right?
hobotron
+4 -0
It looks like Teodor...
*sunglasses*
... is going down in flames.
YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It looks like Teodor...
*sunglasses*
... is going down in flames.
YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
lesigh
+1 -0
I appreciate how the "YEAAAHHH" keeps going off the screen in your comment.
I appreciate how the "YEAAAHHH" keeps going off the screen in your comment.
hobotron
+0 -0
Yeah, not intentional, but I like it all the same.
Yeah, not intentional, but I like it all the same.
ryder-p-moses
+1 -0
I was going to say something about how the van wasn't actually flaming but then I stopped and realized, good god, it is
I was going to say something about how the van wasn't actually flaming but then I stopped and realized, good god, it is
puguglypress
+0 -0
Is that chewing gum on the padlock?
Is that chewing gum on the padlock?
puguglypress
+0 -0
also WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????
also WHAT THE HELL!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????
skooch
+8 -0
Bunch of savages in this town.
Bunch of savages in this town.
thespoof
+0 -0
CHUBBIED! great fucking movie
CHUBBIED! great fucking movie
belgand
+0 -0
A nearby 7-11 had renovation that almost completely obscured them, but when they put up a sign to state that they were not closed it did not say "I assure you we're open". I cannot believe they would fail to take advantage of such an occasion.
A nearby 7-11 had renovation that almost completely obscured them, but when they put up a sign to state that they were not closed it did not say "I assure you we're open". I cannot believe they would fail to take advantage of such an occasion.
thespoof
+0 -0
that would have been great for some few and lucky people
that would have been great for some few and lucky people
deus
+0 -0
Well...its Nice Pete's van...I'd guess its various bodily fluids.
Well...its Nice Pete's van...I'd guess its various bodily fluids.
dusty
+0 -0
He kidnapped MacGyver But he killed him before he could complete whatever he was going to do with the gum on the lock.
He kidnapped MacGyver But he killed him before he could complete whatever he was going to do with the gum on the lock.
mockereo
+0 -0
the whole situation of gay dudes in the back of a van strikes me as more MacGruber than MacGyver.
the whole situation of gay dudes in the back of a van strikes me as more MacGruber than MacGyver.
puguglypress
+2 -0
I really think Onstad needs to stop with the alt-text for this arc, it's frankly inappropriate.
I really think Onstad needs to stop with the alt-text for this arc, it's frankly inappropriate.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
On one hand: yes. On the other: even Shakespeare used comic relief. It makes the Burroughs-style grimness even grimmer.
On one hand: yes. On the other: even Shakespeare used comic relief. It makes the Burroughs-style grimness even grimmer.
neonfreon
+0 -0
don't worry - what happens in the van stays in the van
don't worry - what happens in the van stays in the van
direbmem
+2 -0
until it's buried in a ditch in the middle of nowhere.
until it's buried in a ditch in the middle of nowhere.
thespoof
+5 -0
years later archeologists make a hilarious discovery
years later archeologists make a hilarious discovery
plummet
+0 -0
And by hilarious, you meant horrifying, right?
And by hilarious, you meant horrifying, right?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If hilarious isn't horrifying the world is lying.
If hilarious isn't horrifying the world is lying.
nice-on-water
+4 -0
-Williams, Robin. "The Terrifying Rules of Comedy." American Journal of Disturbing Humor . ed. Milton Berle. Vol. 27 No. 5. Spring 1979. pp.345-412.
-Williams, Robin. "The Terrifying Rules of Comedy." American Journal of Disturbing Humor . ed. Milton Berle. Vol. 27 No. 5. Spring 1979. pp.345-412.
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
Chubbied for providing a bibliography in proper format.
Chubbied for providing a bibliography in proper format.
mockereo
+0 -0
v-chub for being so honest that you are not, in fact, David Bowie.
think of the confusion that could have led to! hilarious
v-chub for being so honest that you are not, in fact, David Bowie.
think of the confusion that could have led to! hilarious
professordoctor
+0 -0
But...I thought...but he said...aaaaah!
But...I thought...but he said...aaaaah!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I was hoping it was right, I had to use the vague British format last semester and just winged it so B]
I was hoping it was right, I had to use the vague British format last semester and just winged it so B]
gelter
+0 -0
Oh. That's not a real journal. I'm... crushed.
Oh. That's not a real journal. I'm... crushed.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
indiana jones and the fate or orezscu
indiana jones and the fate or orezscu
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
oof! of*!
oof! of*!
platnmplus
+1 -0
Cheers to you Onstad, you draw a great o_O
Cheers to you Onstad, you draw a great o_O
snowden
+3 -0
Prediction: Nice Pete isn't planning to kill them and this will lead to a really awkward outing when they finally arrive to "meet President Carter."
Prediction: Nice Pete isn't planning to kill them and this will lead to a really awkward outing when they finally arrive to "meet President Carter."
theirateturk
+1 -0
looks like Teodor already met President Carter LOL
looks like Teodor already met President Carter LOL
dusty
+6 -0
You can call him Jimmy.
You can call him Jimmy.
yorkshiretea
+28 -0
Maybe this is simply Teodor's trip into Cartilage Head territory, and he just has to prove himself given the situation.
Odds of 5-1 on him waking up in a bed with a card saying 'I would not suck off a dying man'.
Maybe this is simply Teodor's trip into Cartilage Head territory, and he just has to prove himself given the situation.
Odds of 5-1 on him waking up in a bed with a card saying 'I would not suck off a dying man'.
radioelectric
+5 -0
He'd suck-off an irritable man though: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08252006
He'd suck-off an irritable man though: https://achewood.com/index.php?date=08252006
ratacattt
+0 -0
I had forgot about that one man one of these days when it's not so busy I'm gonna have to go back and read all the strips again I think it's been long enough to where I will balls out ROTFL I will record it with a sound recorder too and I will read them out loud while I'm laughing and I will mail it to onstad to show him how funny he is i think he will appreciate it always have your sound recorder with you for those special events like that.
I had forgot about that one man one of these days when it's not so busy I'm gonna have to go back and read all the strips again I think it's been long enough to where I will balls out ROTFL I will record it with a sound recorder too and I will read them out loud while I'm laughing and I will mail it to onstad to show him how funny he is i think he will appreciate it always have your sound recorder with you for those special events like that.
ratacattt
+0 -0
hey you know that is an idea all of onstad's fans should do that they should get a digital voice recorder and recoard a long-ass MP3 or wav or wma of them reading through the archive out loud and send it to him. I'll host the files I got unlimited hosting
hey you know that is an idea all of onstad's fans should do that they should get a digital voice recorder and recoard a long-ass MP3 or wav or wma of them reading through the archive out loud and send it to him. I'll host the files I got unlimited hosting
ratacattt
+1 -0
or if you want to post sound clips of you ranting about no strip again I can host those in a separate directory too
or if you want to post sound clips of you ranting about no strip again I can host those in a separate directory too
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Man I know this started sincere then you said "Oh wait gotta keep up appearances."
Man I know this started sincere then you said "Oh wait gotta keep up appearances."
ratacattt
+0 -0
naw man it's sincere and also simultaneously sincerely deranged. I was just putting one hypothetical foot in front of another to arrive at where it would inevitably arrive at, given how we are around here.
I think that would be so cute. The part about laughing. However it is hard to say how the berating of onstad for his schedule would go...
naw man it's sincere and also simultaneously sincerely deranged. I was just putting one hypothetical foot in front of another to arrive at where it would inevitably arrive at, given how we are around here.
I think that would be so cute. The part about laughing. However it is hard to say how the berating of onstad for his schedule would go...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If he just didn't make promises it wouldn't be an issue. Just post whenever like everyone else.
If he just didn't make promises it wouldn't be an issue. Just post whenever like everyone else.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
or sound clips of us blowin' homo cats in vans, as long as you're putting hypothetical feet in places, all willy-nilly
or sound clips of us blowin' homo cats in vans, as long as you're putting hypothetical feet in places, all willy-nilly
thespoof
+0 -0
i am in the process of doing that right now, i am in 2006, just as they discover the camera of magical mexican realism
i am in the process of doing that right now, i am in 2006, just as they discover the camera of magical mexican realism
ratacattt
+0 -0
okay like when you are done you can upload your sound file to me and I'll make a web page for all the sound files of people laughing at his work
okay like when you are done you can upload your sound file to me and I'll make a web page for all the sound files of people laughing at his work
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
epicurus
+0 -0
This is like the worst possible thing that could happen to Teodor right now. There is a time and place for this.
This is like the worst possible thing that could happen to Teodor right now. There is a time and place for this.
dusty
+0 -0
Don't be late, you know the place.
Don't be late, you know the place.
thespoof
+0 -0
on a picnic blanket with rod huggins
on a picnic blanket with rod huggins
defthammer
+1 -0
Agreed. Teodor might not want to be gay...it's the Universe that wants him to be gay.
Agreed. Teodor might not want to be gay...it's the Universe that wants him to be gay.
thespoof
+0 -0
i don't think he'll do it. they already went that way with pat and it would be unoriginal. besides, all of these near brushes for teodor are hilarious
i don't think he'll do it. they already went that way with pat and it would be unoriginal. besides, all of these near brushes for teodor are hilarious
ratacattt
+0 -0
I don't think that teodor is a token gay person in achewood. you say that as if he is, but I don't think he is. I'm not sure if Achewood has any token anythings. sometimes nice pete plays a token serial killer, but, given the level of exploration of his character and back story, he's not really a token so much as a real character.
I think that molly is the most undeveloped main character in achewood, so she's the closest to being a token. Speaking of which, what the fuck happened to molly and RB? It's like they don't exist anymore.
I don't think that teodor is a token gay person in achewood. you say that as if he is, but I don't think he is. I'm not sure if Achewood has any token anythings. sometimes nice pete plays a token serial killer, but, given the level of exploration of his character and back story, he's not really a token so much as a real character.
I think that molly is the most undeveloped main character in achewood, so she's the closest to being a token. Speaking of which, what the fuck happened to molly and RB? It's like they don't exist anymore.
missbee
+0 -0
They been f-f-f-f-fuckin'!
They been f-f-f-f-fuckin'!
thespoof
+0 -0
i don't think he is token gay, i am just saying that it is funny when all the new people he meats just assume that he is gay.
i don't think he is token gay, i am just saying that it is funny when all the new people he meats just assume that he is gay.
dusty
+1 -0
Be not afraid of gayness; some are born gay, some achieve gayness, and others have gayness thrust upon them
Be not afraid of gayness; some are born gay, some achieve gayness, and others have gayness thrust upon them
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
of all the typos, in all the threads, in all the world, you had to thrust that 'meat' into this one
of all the typos, in all the threads, in all the world, you had to thrust that 'meat' into this one
thespoof
+0 -0
damn, i hate when my typo is an actual word so it isn't caught by spell check
damn, i hate when my typo is an actual word so it isn't caught by spell check
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
there was a time in my life when i would've made fun of you or somebody else who'd say something like that and bemoan the sad state of illiteracy the internet/technology is creating, but i've definitely gotten dumber at a steady rate since i got out of college and wish spell-checkers would go 'huh, you sure you've got this, champ?' whenever i type "you're/your(/yore?)" or one of those damn "there/their/they're"s.
i spelled 'wednesday' wrong today. wrong spelling AND it's not even wednesday. christ!
there was a time in my life when i would've made fun of you or somebody else who'd say something like that and bemoan the sad state of illiteracy the internet/technology is creating, but i've definitely gotten dumber at a steady rate since i got out of college and wish spell-checkers would go 'huh, you sure you've got this, champ?' whenever i type "you're/your(/yore?)" or one of those damn "there/their/they're"s.
i spelled 'wednesday' wrong today. wrong spelling AND it's not even wednesday. christ!
historyandmetal
+9 -0
this is kind of like when hollywood stopped making good movies and started making SAW instead
this is kind of like when hollywood stopped making good movies and started making SAW instead
puguglypress
+4 -0
EVERYBODY SHUT UP ABOUT SAW
EVERYBODY SHUT UP ABOUT SAW
dusty
+2 -0
Maybe it's just like saw, maybe Nice Pete is doing this because Teodor was taking not having to suck dick for granted. Having been to prison he knows this is not always the case.
Maybe it's just like saw, maybe Nice Pete is doing this because Teodor was taking not having to suck dick for granted. Having been to prison he knows this is not always the case.
wingspan
+18 -0
Looks like Dr. Manflesh stole the Achewood machine.
Looks like Dr. Manflesh stole the Achewood machine.
deusoma
+2 -0
Feels more like Retardo's style to me.
Feels more like Retardo's style to me.
biznart
+0 -0
I think they and asherdan went all Buffy Season 6 on our beloved author and took over.
I think they and asherdan went all Buffy Season 6 on our beloved author and took over.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I really feel like I should understand this reference.
I really feel like I should understand this reference.
biznart
+0 -0
That was the season with Andrew, Jonathan, and Warren teaming up.
That was the season with Andrew, Jonathan, and Warren teaming up.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, right.
Oh, right.
gladi8orrex
+9 -0
I have a 5.4-5.7 inch penis (depending on things) and i ain't ashamed, heck, y should u b worried abot dick size there half a billion chinese and that shit seems to work out just fine.
all im sayin. thought abot sucking dick once but under weird Sir Cum Stances, so i aint worried if i wanan fuck a guy i will, not worried abot dat.
I have a 5.4-5.7 inch penis (depending on things) and i ain't ashamed, heck, y should u b worried abot dick size there half a billion chinese and that shit seems to work out just fine.
all im sayin. thought abot sucking dick once but under weird Sir Cum Stances, so i aint worried if i wanan fuck a guy i will, not worried abot dat.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
So tell us, Glad, what exactly are you worried about?
So tell us, Glad, what exactly are you worried about?
glade8tormel
+0 -0
you don't really want to know the answer to that question now do you son?
you don't really want to know the answer to that question now do you son?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
What the hell, oh what the hell.
What the hell, oh what the hell.
tfaironpirate
+0 -0
He's worried then when we're alone we all become the animals we once were.
He's worried then when we're alone we all become the animals we once were.
yorkshiretea
+0 -0
'Cum Stances' sounds like something out of an erotic martial arts film
'Cum Stances' sounds like something out of an erotic martial arts film
smallblackdog
+0 -0
I once read in a girlie mag that there was a yoga teacher in the 70's who allegedly made a fortune teaching rich guys to suck themselves off. Research proves you'd need to sit in the bath at right angles.
I once read in a girlie mag that there was a yoga teacher in the 70's who allegedly made a fortune teaching rich guys to suck themselves off. Research proves you'd need to sit in the bath at right angles.
stereo
+0 -0
At least you'd be clean.
At least you'd be clean.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
OK everyone nod who thought they'd try that...
OK everyone nod who thought they'd try that...
granularsilica
+1 -0
Nary a head moves -- awkward silence
Nary a head moves -- awkward silence
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Now wash your mouth out with soap and water..
Now wash your mouth out with soap and water..
theirateturk
+0 -0
There's nothing gay about hell
There's nothing gay about hell
smilebuddha
+1 -0
Tell that to the inhabitants of the Seventh Circle (Inner Ring).
Tell that to the inhabitants of the Seventh Circle (Inner Ring).
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Hell is a Fiery ring.
Hell is a Fiery ring.
missbee
+0 -0
More like a fairy ring, amiright.
More like a fairy ring, amiright.
rocketbunny
+0 -0
But... what happened to the Molotov? Just one of Nice Pete's delusions, ala the gaping-bloody-anus-faced-Denny's-hostess?
Also, I initially thought that was gray matter adhering to the side of the padlock. Now it looks more like a tooth embedded into it.
But... what happened to the Molotov? Just one of Nice Pete's delusions, ala the gaping-bloody-anus-faced-Denny's-hostess?
Also, I initially thought that was gray matter adhering to the side of the padlock. Now it looks more like a tooth embedded into it.
wazza
+1 -0
well, see, he was driving while his shadow threw in a shadow-molotov, causing shadow-flames. Unless the van was made in Mexico, it probably didn't happen.
well, see, he was driving while his shadow threw in a shadow-molotov, causing shadow-flames. Unless the van was made in Mexico, it probably didn't happen.
ryder-p-moses
+1 -0
This is a German magical-realist van where the murder has simultaneously happened and not happened; where all the worst possibilities come true in their infinite variety and it is impossible to ever distinguish which one is the 'actual', or if there even is an objective actual course of events
Nice Pete and Teodor are never leaving that van
This is a German magical-realist van where the murder has simultaneously happened and not happened; where all the worst possibilities come true in their infinite variety and it is impossible to ever distinguish which one is the 'actual', or if there even is an objective actual course of events
Nice Pete and Teodor are never leaving that van
rocketbunny
+0 -0
Schrodinger's ride? I dig it. I would chubby you for that, if I hadn't been such an apparent chubslut on this strip already.
Schrodinger's ride? I dig it. I would chubby you for that, if I hadn't been such an apparent chubslut on this strip already.
ratacattt
+0 -0
a chick saying "chubslut" is a turn on
a chick saying "chubslut" is a turn on
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
if the chick were a baleen whale she'd say 'chumslut'
if the chick were a baleen whale she'd say 'chumslut'
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Yeah somewhere between Schopenhauer, Schrodinger, and Herzog, the only three Germans that come immediately to mind
Yeah somewhere between Schopenhauer, Schrodinger, and Herzog, the only three Germans that come immediately to mind
belgand
+0 -0
Protip: Most important Germans are actually Austrians.
Protip: Most important Germans are actually Austrians.
lesange
+1 -0
Onstad... why?
Onstad... why?
overmedicated
+1 -0
Why not?
Why not?
gournal
+0 -0
WHY FIND OUT
WHY FIND OUT
mockereo
+0 -0
BOO TO THAT
BOO TO THAT
lesange
+0 -0
Coming to theaters this summer... [i]The Man with Ten Inches[i]
Coming to theaters this summer... [i]The Man with Ten Inches[i]
dusty
+1 -0
That would probably be found in the back part of certain video stores near "The man who came at dinner" and "The man who would be Queen".
That would probably be found in the back part of certain video stores near "The man who came at dinner" and "The man who would be Queen".
direbmem
+0 -0
Why would they put a movie about Freddie Mercury in the porno section?
Why would they put a movie about Freddie Mercury in the porno section?
nice-on-water
+4 -0
Did you not know Freddy Mercury's life was just the classiest gay porno ever?
Did you not know Freddy Mercury's life was just the classiest gay porno ever?
ratacattt
+0 -0
but i'm not gay
but i'm not gay
ratacattt
+1 -0
despite what my diary says
despite what my diary says
professordoctor
+0 -0
This is probably my favorite comment on this strip, or ever.
This is probably my favorite comment on this strip, or ever.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Don't say that, I'll get a swelledhead head
Don't say that, I'll get a swelled
thespoof
+0 -0
sorry if our chubbies make your head swell
sorry if our chubbies make your head swell
i_love_kate
+0 -0
With the absolute best soundtrack.
With the absolute best soundtrack.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"Pocket Man: The Elton John Story" gave it a run for its money.
"Pocket Man: The Elton John Story" gave it a run for its money.
platnmplus
+4 -0
So I'm trying to do the math here, but any way I figure it a 10-inch cock on a stuffed animal would look ridiculous
So I'm trying to do the math here, but any way I figure it a 10-inch cock on a stuffed animal would look ridiculous
zaratustra
+3 -0
Well then you'll be happy to know he's a -cat- with a 10-inch cock.
Well then you'll be happy to know he's a -cat- with a 10-inch cock.
ratacattt
+0 -0
when I die I want to be stuffed
...and mounted
when I die I want to be stuffed
...and mounted
radioelectric
+0 -0
You're not thinking far enough ahead.
You're not thinking far enough ahead.
foiegrastaco
+2 -0
that shouldn't actually make anybody happy
that shouldn't actually make anybody happy
omegatron
+0 -0
Yeah but those are Underground Inches.
Yeah but those are Underground Inches.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i believe he was trying to say a ten-inch cock IN a stuffed animal would look ridiculous
i believe he was trying to say a ten-inch cock IN a stuffed animal would look ridiculous
radchilies
+3 -0
Something very similar to this happened to me about ten yearsago in the basement restroom of Dwinelle Hall on the U.C. Berkeley campus. All I was trying to do was take a shit, not see a dick. Yet a dick I did see.
Something very similar to this happened to me about ten yearsago in the basement restroom of Dwinelle Hall on the U.C. Berkeley campus. All I was trying to do was take a shit, not see a dick. Yet a dick I did see.
stonecrab
+1 -0
RadC, I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.
RadC, I'm sorry to hear this happened to you.
biznart
+1 -0
Look at the way he dresses. He was asking for it.
Look at the way he dresses. He was asking for it.
shelbydavis
+3 -0
Man, I am LOVING this new artwork. Hypothetically 5'd for experimenting with style mid-arc.
Man, I am LOVING this new artwork. Hypothetically 5'd for experimenting with style mid-arc.
belgand
+0 -0
The only problem is that you're wrong.
The only problem is that you're wrong.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Pourquoi?
Pourquoi?
overman
+5 -0
Has anyone laughed recently?
Has anyone laughed recently?
rocketbunny
+0 -0
Does nervously-while-finding-myself-unable-to-look-directly-at-the-screen count?
Does nervously-while-finding-myself-unable-to-look-directly-at-the-screen count?
wozzeck
+0 -0
I have been laughing richly. What ever is wrong with you two?
I have been laughing richly. What ever is wrong with you two?
mockereo
+0 -0
i have a moral comfort zone. it's like a birth defect or sumfin'.
i have a moral comfort zone. it's like a birth defect or sumfin'.
wozzeck
+1 -0
Philistine.
Philistine.
abstracttruth
+4 -0
why would you ever think a blowjob was a good idea, when p cropes is behind the wheel, driving like grace kelly
why would you ever think a blowjob was a good idea, when p cropes is behind the wheel, driving like grace kelly
tetsujin
+0 -0
'Cause you might not get a chance at another one?
'Cause you might not get a chance at another one?
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Gay or nogay, blowjobs seem like a bad idea in a tumbling vehicle. There is chance of castratolingus.
Gay or nogay, blowjobs seem like a bad idea in a tumbling vehicle. There is chance of castratolingus.
mockereo
+0 -0
catastrophic castratolingus
catastrophic castratolingus
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
castrating a cat in an unfortunate manner, with the mouth
castrating a cat in an unfortunate manner, with the mouth
gladi8orrex
+1 -1
lol remb. dat dirty jobs where mike had to bite lamb foreskin off or somethin'. wtf was he doing, lol
lol remb. dat dirty jobs where mike had to bite lamb foreskin off or somethin'. wtf was he doing, lol
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Holy shit, I saw that one. They bit the scrotum off. I just don't get it. They didn't have scissors? Come on.
Holy shit, I saw that one. They bit the scrotum off. I just don't get it. They didn't have scissors? Come on.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Scrolling down I thought this said Castrolingus. You decide which Castro!
Scrolling down I thought this said Castrolingus. You decide which Castro!
belgand
+0 -0
Catastrophic cat castratocastrolingus?
It's far too silly, but it's also so right.
Catastrophic cat castratocastrolingus?
It's far too silly, but it's also so right.
wingspan
+0 -0
That fellow in your avatar looks like he'd know a lot about ending up with his mouth on a man who was castrated at a young age to preserve his singing voice.
That fellow in your avatar looks like he'd know a lot about ending up with his mouth on a man who was castrated at a young age to preserve his singing voice.
wonelove
+1 -0
This is the toughest/wisest gay guy I've seen so far in Achewood.
Pat's not tough. He's just a dick .
This is the toughest/wisest gay guy I've seen so far in Achewood.
Pat's not tough. He's just a dick .
yorkshiretea
+0 -0
Nathan's been in this situation before.
Nathan's been in this situation before.
dusty
+0 -0
I'm starting to suspect that Pete knows Nathan and this may be a setup.
I'm starting to suspect that Pete knows Nathan and this may be a setup.
stereo
+2 -0
Pete hits a bump, and Nathan's 10 inches slide all the way in .
Pete hits a bump, and Nathan's 10 inches slide all the way in .
wonelove
+1 -0
Subsequently, Teodor chokes to death.... again .
Subsequently, Teodor chokes to death.... again .
i_love_kate
+0 -0
And yet no-one can, or has any desire to, give him a Longshoreman's Heimlich.
And yet no-one can, or has any desire to, give him a Longshoreman's Heimlich.
dusty
+2 -0
Looks like someone...blew his head off
*sunglasses*
Looks like someone...blew his head off
*sunglasses*
smaconi
+3 -0
YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
capap
+0 -0
The slight tilt of Teodor's head between panels 14/15 lead me to believe that Nathan does indeed not need to lie about that.
The slight tilt of Teodor's head between panels 14/15 lead me to believe that Nathan does indeed not need to lie about that.
dybrar
+0 -0
Nathan sounds completely different than he did before the nice van happened, somehow.
Nathan sounds completely different than he did before the nice van happened, somehow.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
He has now been put in different Circumstances.
He has now been put in different Circumstances.
mockereo
+0 -0
now that he has fully (circum)sized up the situation, he can confidently whip out his penis.
now that he has fully (circum)sized up the situation, he can confidently whip out his penis.
dusty
+20 -1
Once this starts to turn into a gay scene Ray will bust through the side dressed as Simon and tell everyone what they're doing wrong.
Once this starts to turn into a gay scene Ray will bust through the side dressed as Simon and tell everyone what they're doing wrong.
stonecrab
+0 -0
Dude, I am v-chubbin this hard . Until you are SO v-chubbed.
Dude, I am v-chubbin this hard . Until you are SO v-chubbed.
dybrar
+0 -0
Are we actually going to trust Ray to bust into the correct confined space this time around? Really?
Are we actually going to trust Ray to bust into the correct confined space this time around? Really?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Kicks in Nice Pete's driver side door, distracting him, sending them all off a cliff. Nightlife, Ramses and Bensington make appearances somehow.
Kicks in Nice Pete's driver side door, distracting him, sending them all off a cliff. Nightlife, Ramses and Bensington make appearances somehow.
wazza
+0 -0
I suspect that Bensington would be hired by Ray, as a genuine jump-dancing celebrity, to kick the door in for him.
I suspect that Bensington would be hired by Ray, as a genuine jump-dancing celebrity, to kick the door in for him.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i hope
i hope
salvar
+0 -0
Wow, that's two strips in a row with variable-width lines. Is this going to be The New Thing for Achewood?
Wow, that's two strips in a row with variable-width lines. Is this going to be The New Thing for Achewood?
troy_convers
+0 -0
In comics, it's classy never to show the ten-inch penis. Nor do I want to see Teodor meet President Carter, President Bush, or even feckin' President Glans. Capeesh?
In comics, it's classy never to show the ten-inch penis. Nor do I want to see Teodor meet President Carter, President Bush, or even feckin' President Glans. Capeesh?
joefalco
+4 -0
It's too late. He's already meeting with President Nixon.
It's too late. He's already meeting with President Nixon.
tetsujin
+0 -0
"Capeesh"?
"Capeesh"?
mygen123
+0 -0
What a night when getting sexually harassed by an old gay man in the back of a padlocked van counts as a welcome moment of rest.
What a night when getting sexually harassed by an old gay man in the back of a padlocked van counts as a welcome moment of rest.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Unrelated: best avicon.
Unrelated: best avicon.
ratacattt
+0 -0
well it's no guy trying to bite a pineapple but it's ok
well it's no guy trying to bite a pineapple but it's ok
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It's my 16 year old me peeking through.
Penis jokes ensue.
It's my 16 year old me peeking through.
Penis jokes ensue.
thespoof
+0 -0
is yours from funky winkerbean?
is yours from funky winkerbean?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"We're all old and depressed!" Hilarious!
"We're all old and depressed!" Hilarious!
mygen123
+0 -0
Not too bad yourself tiger
Not too bad yourself tiger
joefalco
+0 -0
Oh the things that lock has seen...
Oh the things that lock has seen...
xi
+0 -0
It looks as though it might be weeping.
It looks as though it might be weeping.
overmedicated
+13 -0
OH SWEET TAP DANCING CHRIST NATHAN IS GOING TO BEAT NICE PETE TO DEATH WITH HIS MUTTON MUSKET.
OH SWEET TAP DANCING CHRIST NATHAN IS GOING TO BEAT NICE PETE TO DEATH WITH HIS MUTTON MUSKET.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
It's the conventional, romantic ending that we're all secretly hoping for.
It's the conventional, romantic ending that we're all secretly hoping for.
decker
+0 -0
Chubby for "Mutton Musket."
Chubby for "Mutton Musket."
kindergard
+0 -0
patriotic chubby for mutton musket.
at ease hero, smoke em' if you got em'
patriotic chubby for mutton musket.
at ease hero, smoke em' if you got em'
notdavidbowie
+3 -0
or if you're curious
or if you're curious
contrasoma
+0 -0
Is perhaps most basic idea.
Is perhaps most basic idea.
xi
+0 -0
Man. Their faces are Fucked Up.
Man. Their faces are Fucked Up.
daidai
+1 -0
It's like Mask ...but with a bear and a cat. Except the blind girl is ugly too. And they're both guys.
It's like Mask ...but with a bear and a cat. Except the blind girl is ugly too. And they're both guys.
professordoctor
+0 -0
I read this comment confused until I realized you weren't talking about The Mask , though I now understand your comment, I wish it had been what I hoped.
I read this comment confused until I realized you weren't talking about The Mask , though I now understand your comment, I wish it had been what I hoped.
professordoctor
+0 -0
Or M.A.S.K.
Or M.A.S.K.
jbgv
+0 -0
i recall reading an interview with onstad where he tells a story about a fan asking him if he was teodor, and onstad told the fan yes.
certainly puts the current storyline in an interesting context.
i recall reading an interview with onstad where he tells a story about a fan asking him if he was teodor, and onstad told the fan yes.
certainly puts the current storyline in an interesting context.
johnlennon
+0 -0
Chris isn't gay, but he has considered having dicks in his mouth? I mean, a dick. But not any dick in particular, probably. Just a general dick, in his mouth, being sucked (by his mouth (Onstad's))
I suppose that's inevitable if he really does listen to The Cure. Because they're kind of gay. I mean, I think they are. Morrissey and stuff. Gay. Refusing to eat all but a certain kind of meat. Homosexual.
Chris isn't gay, but he has considered having dicks in his mouth? I mean, a dick. But not any dick in particular, probably. Just a general dick, in his mouth, being sucked (by his mouth (Onstad's))
I suppose that's inevitable if he really does listen to The Cure. Because they're kind of gay. I mean, I think they are. Morrissey and stuff. Gay. Refusing to eat all but a certain kind of meat. Homosexual.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Seriously, so SO glad Retardo is no longer around.
Seriously, so SO glad Retardo is no longer around.
gelter
+0 -0
V-chubbed for your dic(k)tion.
V-chubbed for your dic(k)tion.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
So where exactly does this put Teodor on the Breast Man - - - - Ass Man continuum? And at which establishment will he be able to order off a special menu?
So where exactly does this put Teodor on the Breast Man - - - - Ass Man continuum? And at which establishment will he be able to order off a special menu?
gladi8ormex
+1 -0
How friggin' easy is that? h-h-he's a dead man. An he orders f-f-from f-f-friendly's! SHIT! you know this s-s-stuff! if your inna race and you pass the person in 2nd place why are you last?
How friggin' easy is that? h-h-he's a dead man. An he orders f-f-from f-f-friendly's! SHIT! you know this s-s-stuff! if your inna race and you pass the person in 2nd place why are you last?
wazza
+0 -0
it's a Mexican Magical Realism glad, apparently...
it's a Mexican Magical Realism glad, apparently...
randyleepublic
+0 -0
The game ain't over yet. No frickn' Friendly's yet. Yet.
The game ain't over yet. No frickn' Friendly's yet. Yet.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Oh my shit. Just, oh my shit.
Oh my shit. Just, oh my shit.
plummet
+0 -0
Teodor will be saying this next strip
Teodor will be saying this next strip
i_love_kate
+0 -0
OH MAH REEKER
OH MAH REEKER
johnlennon
+0 -0
Next strip better show Teodor sucking that thing just as the van tears around a corner, breaking his neck. Last panel: blood flowing from his mouth down the penis. And it doesn't stop THERE!
Next strip better show Teodor sucking that thing just as the van tears around a corner, breaking his neck. Last panel: blood flowing from his mouth down the penis. And it doesn't stop THERE!
wingspan
+1 -0
It flows onto the balls.
It flows onto the balls.
mockereo
+0 -0
Then some rubs off of the scrotum onto the inner thigh.
Then some rubs off of the scrotum onto the inner thigh.
johnlennon
+2 -0
it zooms in on the blood, and you can see millions of tiny spiders!
it zooms in on the blood, and you can see millions of tiny spiders!
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIII-
OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIII-
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
"Blood? Blood. Crimson copper smelling blood, his blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. And bits of sick."
"Blood? Blood. Crimson copper smelling blood, his blood. Blood. Blood. Blood. And bits of sick."
missbee
+1 -0
But how is the mayor?
But how is the mayor?
autrepoupee
+10 -0
"So here we are, honey. Two fags in a van." is going in my wedding vows.
actually it will make up the entirety of my wedding vows, period
"So here we are, honey. Two fags in a van." is going in my wedding vows.
actually it will make up the entirety of my wedding vows, period
wozzeck
+0 -0
Might it also make up the entirety of your wedding? A secret betrothal, of sorts, down by the river?
Might it also make up the entirety of your wedding? A secret betrothal, of sorts, down by the river?
mockereo
+0 -0
betrothal? more like a secret brothel!
betrothal? more like a secret brothel!
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
and in a van while we're at it?
and in a van while we're at it?
rocketbunny
+0 -0
I would chubby this, but I have apparently rendered myself chubless on this strip.
I would chubby this, but I have apparently rendered myself chubless on this strip.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Ah, the wonders of a doublechubby. Makes a man feel big.
Ah, the wonders of a doublechubby. Makes a man feel big.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
the ol' dubchub
the ol' dubchub
hallowedground
+2 -0
Somewhere, Retardo is writing an angry e-mail accusing Onstad of plagiarism.
Somewhere, Retardo is writing an angry e-mail accusing Onstad of plagiarism.
plummet
+0 -0
GOD
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNN
GOD
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNN
endsmouth
+1 -0
This is a hell of a way for Onstad to bring Philippe home.
This is a hell of a way for Onstad to bring Philippe home.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
It would be great if the van collided with Steve DeNeuve's car at this point, and only Nice Pete was killed or at all hurt, although Nathan was knocked out until all possible awkwardness had passed.
It would be great if the van collided with Steve DeNeuve's car at this point, and only Nice Pete was killed or at all hurt, although Nathan was knocked out until all possible awkwardness had passed.
endsmouth
+7 -0
Although given the arc so far, the crash would have Nice Pete impaled on Nathan's erect penis; Pete's death spasms bring Nathan to an involuntary orgasm, and his ejaculate splatters across Teodor's bloodied face; Philippe sees all of this happen.
Thanks, Achewood.
Although given the arc so far, the crash would have Nice Pete impaled on Nathan's erect penis; Pete's death spasms bring Nathan to an involuntary orgasm, and his ejaculate splatters across Teodor's bloodied face; Philippe sees all of this happen.
Thanks, Achewood.
ryder-p-moses
+8 -0
oh cool someone;s been reading my fan fiction page
oh cool someone;s been reading my fan fiction page
plummet
+0 -0
the incident shocks him into no longer being five
the incident shocks him into no longer being five
achtung
+5 -0
*pop*
that's the sound philippe no longer being five makes.
*pop*
that's the sound philippe no longer being five makes.
plummet
+0 -0
i JUST do NOT even BELIEVE that you are NOT being chubbied for this
I gotta fix this bullshit
i JUST do NOT even BELIEVE that you are NOT being chubbied for this
I gotta fix this bullshit
mockereo
+0 -0
i thought it would be more quiet. Cause i mean when i pop a boner, it essentially never makes a popping noise.
i thought it would be more quiet. Cause i mean when i pop a boner, it essentially never makes a popping noise.
achtung
+0 -0
we're talkin bout poppin a six here, what are you talkin about
we're talkin bout poppin a six here, what are you talkin about
wingspan
+0 -0
Sources vary by half an inch or so, but I am under the impression that the average dude (at least in America) pops a six.
Sources vary by half an inch or so, but I am under the impression that the average dude (at least in America) pops a six.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
late-to-the-party imagination chubby for you =/
late-to-the-party imagination chubby for you =/
wazza
+5 -0
some of it got on the bear!
some of it got on the bear!
tetsujin
+0 -0
Philippe? Who's that?
Philippe? Who's that?
lizard
+0 -0
Good to see Onstad keeping it classy.
Good to see Onstad keeping it classy.
promqueen
+1 -0
i dont want to ever perform oral sex on a men but if someone wanted to show me a 10 inch penis irl i would hesitate but look.
i dont want to ever perform oral sex on a men but if someone wanted to show me a 10 inch penis irl i would hesitate but look.
whiggles
+0 -0
yeah, everyone would be curious in this situation. unless you have an ELEVEN inch penis in which case you yawn and roll your eyes, content in your unchallenged masculinity.
yeah, everyone would be curious in this situation. unless you have an ELEVEN inch penis in which case you yawn and roll your eyes, content in your unchallenged masculinity.
nice-on-water
+0 -1
Oh Jesus we have a gay character already T don't go there.
Oh Jesus we have a gay character already T don't go there.
nictusempra
+0 -0
What, was there a quota?
-This- is what bothers you about this situation?
What, was there a quota?
-This- is what bothers you about this situation?
plummet
+0 -0
A web comic can only have a certain number of Homosexuals or NOW will not peruse it
A web comic can only have a certain number of Homosexuals or NOW will not peruse it
neonfreon
+1 -0
everyone has a number
everyone has a number
notdavidbowie
+0 -0
mine's set to 3, the default.
mine's set to 3, the default.
gelter
+0 -0
I remember reading about achewood in time magazine years ago, and whatever shitty writer was doing that article had it in their head that every character was gay. I think Onstead may have been fuckin with them, but maybe it was foreshadowing.
I remember reading about achewood in time magazine years ago, and whatever shitty writer was doing that article had it in their head that every character was gay. I think Onstead may have been fuckin with them, but maybe it was foreshadowing.
gelter
+7 -0
Or maybe, as someone mentioned a few strips back, Onstad is sick and tired of doing achewood and is turning it into a gay furry-terror porn until everyone leaves. Which is the best way to end anything. It is, for example, how I get unwanted guests to leave my house.
Or maybe, as someone mentioned a few strips back, Onstad is sick and tired of doing achewood and is turning it into a gay furry-terror porn until everyone leaves. Which is the best way to end anything. It is, for example, how I get unwanted guests to leave my house.
plummet
+0 -0
I can see this backfiring horribly on you one day
I can see this backfiring horribly on you one day
gelter
+0 -0
Yeah, eventually I'll get one who will want to stay even more.
Yeah, eventually I'll get one who will want to stay even more.
gelter
+1 -0
I'm kidding, of course. No one visits me.
I'm kidding, of course. No one visits me.
dusty
+2 -0
So your mother in law comes over and even after you take her to see a few things around town she just hangs out like she's not going anywhere. You get a giraffe sock puppet and a bottle of ketchup. Then right there on the couch you start to jack off with the puppet while dumping ketchup on it and going "Ooooh Noooo!" "Oh yeeeaah!" in alternately low and high voices. But what do you do if she's into it?
So your mother in law comes over and even after you take her to see a few things around town she just hangs out like she's not going anywhere. You get a giraffe sock puppet and a bottle of ketchup. Then right there on the couch you start to jack off with the puppet while dumping ketchup on it and going "Ooooh Noooo!" "Oh yeeeaah!" in alternately low and high voices. But what do you do if she's into it?
stereo
+0 -0
Make her an honorary buddy?
Make her an honorary buddy?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh get off it. It's a joke. The tit that lamed me needs to *have a wonderful evening*
Oh get off it. It's a joke. The tit that lamed me needs to *have a wonderful evening*
plummet
+0 -0
Guess he just didn't find it funny
Guess he just didn't find it funny
relaxing
+1 -0
It's not really that funny though
It's not really that funny though
relaxing
+0 -0
It basically sounded like he didn't want another gay character
It basically sounded like he didn't want another gay character
nice-on-water
+0 -0
YUP THATS IT BRO I HATE GAYS
Do I really have a homophobic history on this board? It was a comment written as someone who would write such a thing, which is totally circular logic but still.
YUP THATS IT BRO I HATE GAYS
Do I really have a homophobic history on this board? It was a comment written as someone who would write such a thing, which is totally circular logic but still.
achtung
+0 -0
aint nobody compilin nice-on-water-posts.txt
you name only membered when you Fuck UP
aint nobody compilin nice-on-water-posts.txt
you name only membered when you Fuck UP
ratacattt
+0 -0
lotsa stuff on here not that funny
lotsa stuff on here not that funny
plummet
+0 -0
cold dissecting nice-on-water here
cold dissecting nice-on-water here
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Leave Nice-On-Water alone! It's not his fault that for some reason we all just keep confusing him with Theguitarhero.
Unless that's just me.
Leave Nice-On-Water alone! It's not his fault that for some reason we all just keep confusing him with Theguitarhero.
Unless that's just me.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
When he does his all caps stuff, I do, but for the most part I just confuse him with you. It's the whole names with 3 words that incorporate hyphens/underscores to separate those words thing.
When he does his all caps stuff, I do, but for the most part I just confuse him with you. It's the whole names with 3 words that incorporate hyphens/underscores to separate those words thing.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
But the icon, man! The icons are so different.
You're just shallow.
But the icon, man! The icons are so different.
You're just shallow.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Shit.
Shit.
neonfreon
+0 -0
Isn't there a difference between being homophobic and not wanting more gays in a comic you read? Does not enjoying certain themes make you afraid of them?
Isn't there a difference between being homophobic and not wanting more gays in a comic you read? Does not enjoying certain themes make you afraid of them?
ratacattt
+0 -0
wow I always thought phobic meant fear, but in this case it doesn't
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-phobic
2. Used to form adjectives meaning of hate directed towards a particular type of person (due to fear of that type of person).
homophobic
oh wait a minute, now it's contradicting it's self
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-phobia
2 Used to form nouns meaning hate, born out of fear, directed towards a particular type of person.
e.g. homophobia
oh wow.. check out this new word I just learned...
Everyone who dislikes this current arc is an unashamed...
wow I always thought phobic meant fear, but in this case it doesn't
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-phobic
2. Used to form adjectives meaning of hate directed towards a particular type of person (due to fear of that type of person).
homophobic
oh wait a minute, now it's contradicting it's self
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-phobia
2 Used to form nouns meaning hate, born out of fear, directed towards a particular type of person.
e.g. homophobia
oh wow.. check out this new word I just learned...
Everyone who dislikes this current arc is an unashamed...
...erotophobe!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
That is weird. It kinda means that Freudian Psychoanalytic theory has worked it's way so well into day to day conversation that fear and hate do not occur without the other when it comes to deciphering etymology.
That is weird. It kinda means that Freudian Psychoanalytic theory has worked it's way so well into day to day conversation that fear and hate do not occur without the other when it comes to deciphering etymology.
ratacattt
+0 -0
yeah.. I don't like it. I want a word ending that just means hate but doesn't also mean fear. I can't think of any so internet do your thing. make it so.
yeah.. I don't like it. I want a word ending that just means hate but doesn't also mean fear. I can't think of any so internet do your thing. make it so.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Do you not come to hate what you fear? Ah? AH?
Do you not come to hate what you fear? Ah? AH?
ratacattt
+0 -0
sure maybe but the corollary isn't always the case.
sure maybe but the corollary isn't always the case.
missbee
+0 -0
And then you get into chemistry/biology, where -phobia doesn't have anything to do with feelings at all.
And then you get into chemistry/biology, where -phobia doesn't have anything to do with feelings at all.
thespoof
+2 -0
a girl in my biology described hydrophobic as "the fear of water", and hydroponic as "the not fear of water"
a girl in my biology described hydrophobic as "the fear of water", and hydroponic as "the not fear of water"
stereo
+0 -0
The closer the strips get to straight up gay porn, the more uncomfortable it makes me.
The closer the strips get to straight up gay porn, the more uncomfortable it makes me.
ratacattt
+0 -0
huge slam on gay porn out of nowhere!
huge slam on gay porn out of nowhere!
foiegrastaco
+1 -0
i was scolded for an attempted 'chubby' and then wondered why i was up this late and why i wanted to 'chubby' this. rats.
i was scolded for an attempted 'chubby' and then wondered why i was up this late and why i wanted to 'chubby' this. rats.
belgand
+0 -0
In all fairness isn't that the entire point of all porn, gay or otherwise?
In all fairness isn't that the entire point of all porn, gay or otherwise?
neonfreon
+0 -0
this place would be horrible if images were on, it'd be a real gay porn epic
this place would be horrible if images were on, it'd be a real gay porn epic
belgand
+1 -0
You mean LOTR?
You mean LOTR?
mockereo
+1 -0
god you are just so nice about that. What is your secret? Is there some sort of potion or concoction that you drink to become so nice?
god you are just so nice about that. What is your secret? Is there some sort of potion or concoction that you drink to become so nice?
nice-on-water
+2 -0
WATER MOTHERFUCKER 8 CUPS A DAY KEEPS ME NICE AS SHIT
WATER MOTHERFUCKER 8 CUPS A DAY KEEPS ME NICE AS SHIT
thespoof
+0 -0
i agree, it would be way to similar to pat coming out but it wouldn't be funny this time
i agree, it would be way to similar to pat coming out but it wouldn't be funny this time
ratacattt
+0 -0
it wouldn't be similar in the least. it would be Teodor, which is not the same or similar to Pat. Pat is not similar to anyone.
it wouldn't be similar in the least. it would be Teodor, which is not the same or similar to Pat. Pat is not similar to anyone.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
pat sucks.
pat sucks.
motu
+0 -0
I honestly got so drunk I thought I dreamed this comic.
I honestly got so drunk I thought I dreamed this comic.
motu
+0 -0
Comment one hudno and sixty nine up there
Comment one hudno and sixty nine up there
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I want to unknow this comment.
I want to unknow this comment.
bartleby
+3 -0
This arc has all been the set-up for a truly esoteric "World According to Garp" reference.
This arc has all been the set-up for a truly esoteric "World According to Garp" reference.
granularsilica
+0 -0
That was quite an accident.
That was quite an accident.
instantkarma
+0 -0
It's like being under water!
It's like being under water!
vance
+0 -0
If these situations weren't forced onto Teodor so unwillingly, I'd be thinking some kind of Freudian gay thing was very much happening. Gay porn, public nudity, looking at some guy's long dong silver while being carried to the killing floor...
If these situations weren't forced onto Teodor so unwillingly, I'd be thinking some kind of Freudian gay thing was very much happening. Gay porn, public nudity, looking at some guy's long dong silver while being carried to the killing floor...
wazza
+0 -0
he did last only six days looking at the boob
he did last only six days looking at the boob
dskim
+0 -0
I like Nathan.
I like Nathan.
koodge
+1 -0
He's having a great time.
He's having a great time.
odog
+1 -0
At this point we are unsure as to whether Teodor is about to make out with this stranger's dick.
At this point we are unsure as to whether Teodor is about to make out with this stranger's dick.
boheeka
+1 -0
Do any of you kids have curiosity about... DICKS?
Do any of you kids have curiosity about... DICKS?
stereo
+3 -0
Yes, but not enough to deal with the men attached to them.
Yes, but not enough to deal with the men attached to them.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Really. I mean, this is actually the most suspenseful I've felt the arc to be yet. I could really seriously see it going either way right now.
Really. I mean, this is actually the most suspenseful I've felt the arc to be yet. I could really seriously see it going either way right now.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I don't really think that Teodor is going to die. He might well, however, suck that guy off. Hence the suspense.
I don't really think that Teodor is going to die. He might well, however, suck that guy off. Hence the suspense.
neonfreon
+1 -0
which is actually worse - you can come back from dying, but there's no going back once you suck that first dick...
which is actually worse - you can come back from dying, but there's no going back once you suck that first dick...
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
(true)
(true)
extrabastard
+0 -0
Duder, that's just not right. The midterm in Diggin Chix I only counts for 15% of the total grade, so even if Teodor totally chokes on it, there's still the chance of getting a solid B.
Then there's Outcomes Based Education and the general aptitude of his classmates. I'd wager with the degree of manlove going on in Achewood High, Teodor is gonna be graded on a three dick curve, meaning Nathan and and Nice Pete can tag team on him, and send his poor broken self crawling into the tender arms of Cornelius to nurse him back to health with the sweet affections learned in the old world before Teodor reaches any point of no return.
Duder, that's just not right. The midterm in Diggin Chix I only counts for 15% of the total grade, so even if Teodor totally chokes on it, there's still the chance of getting a solid B.
Then there's Outcomes Based Education and the general aptitude of his classmates. I'd wager with the degree of manlove going on in Achewood High, Teodor is gonna be graded on a three dick curve, meaning Nathan and and Nice Pete can tag team on him, and send his poor broken self crawling into the tender arms of Cornelius to nurse him back to health with the sweet affections learned in the old world before Teodor reaches any point of no return.
rocketbunny
+0 -0
I think he's going to somehow end up in the vicinity of Nathan's John-Thomas (by accident or design), just at the moment the van and its occupants are discovered by someone else. Awkwardness, self-doubt, and potential hilarity ensue.
I think he's going to somehow end up in the vicinity of Nathan's John-Thomas (by accident or design), just at the moment the van and its occupants are discovered by someone else. Awkwardness, self-doubt, and potential hilarity ensue.
missbee
+0 -0
And we will forever remember July 2010 for the introduction of the laugh track in Achewood.
And we will forever remember July 2010 for the introduction of the laugh track in Achewood.
vance
+0 -0
Giving this comment a chubby takes on a whole new disturbing dimension, in light of the subject.
Giving this comment a chubby takes on a whole new disturbing dimension, in light of the subject.
apparentlypants
+0 -0
I have never felt so bad for Teodor :<
I have never felt so bad for Teodor :<
cryztal
+0 -0
This is most likely the worst night in Teodor's (soon to be ended) life.
This is most likely the worst night in Teodor's (soon to be ended) life.
fresco
+0 -0
This isn't gay at all but Teodor's whole lips area does look like it would be satisfying as hell wrapped around a big, meaty cock.
Not gay at all. Just puttin' that out there.
This isn't gay at all but Teodor's whole lips area does look like it would be satisfying as hell wrapped around a big, meaty cock.
Not gay at all. Just puttin' that out there.
burningflowers
+2 -0
Let's hope that surviving High School will make Teodor realize how he has wasted his life, and set him on the path to self-actualization. Dude needs a break.
Let's hope that surviving High School will make Teodor realize how he has wasted his life, and set him on the path to self-actualization. Dude needs a break.
melchior
+0 -0
It looks to me like Nice Pete is trying to invent the opposite of Christian homosexuality deprogramming.
It looks to me like Nice Pete is trying to invent the opposite of Christian homosexuality deprogramming.
johnnyjohnny
+0 -0
Just like high school!
Just like high school!
extrabastard
+0 -0
Best days of your life my ass.
Best days of your life my ass.
achtung
+0 -0
best days of my life: your ass
best days of my life: your ass
iwaslikebone_
+4 -0
I haven't been enjoying this arc since we left Mayner and Lurquilla. It's too dark for me. I only like to go to dark places with those I trust, and although I've enjoyed Achewood for many years, I don't trust it. If Acheood was a character from Achewood, it would be Nice Pete.
I haven't been enjoying this arc since we left Mayner and Lurquilla. It's too dark for me. I only like to go to dark places with those I trust, and although I've enjoyed Achewood for many years, I don't trust it. If Acheood was a character from Achewood, it would be Nice Pete.
iwaslikebone_
+0 -0
In fact I would go so far as to say that Nice Pete is the embodiment of the Achewood aesthetic.
In fact I would go so far as to say that Nice Pete is the embodiment of the Achewood aesthetic.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
So basically you're okay with making fun of the socially and economically disadvantaged but surrealism confuses and frightens you
please bring back the Jeff Foxworthy jokes mr. Onstad man
So basically you're okay with making fun of the socially and economically disadvantaged but surrealism confuses and frightens you
please bring back the Jeff Foxworthy jokes mr. Onstad man
rocketbunny
+0 -0
Shouldn't surrealism confuse and frighten, though? Un Chien Andalou worked some rough chuckles, too.
Shouldn't surrealism confuse and frighten, though? Un Chien Andalou worked some rough chuckles, too.
ratacattt
+0 -0
is achewood surrealism or magical realism?
In any event iwaslikebone_'s avatar is kind of annoying so I think he should fix that before he criticizes Onstad's work.
is achewood surrealism or magical realism?
In any event iwaslikebone_'s avatar is kind of annoying so I think he should fix that before he criticizes Onstad's work.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
At the point where the primary characters are walking talking millionaire cats living in a secret underground gated catmmunity I think we can abandon the 'realism' descriptor pretty handily
At the point where the primary characters are walking talking millionaire cats living in a secret underground gated catmmunity I think we can abandon the 'realism' descriptor pretty handily
coldfrog
+0 -0
Turns out Nice Pete was just doing a favor for a friend.
Turns out Nice Pete was just doing a favor for a friend.
kom_pot
+0 -0
It's a mucilaginous spit and slurp on the brains
It's a mucilaginous spit and slurp on the brains
granularsilica
+0 -0
We have arrived at the brink, is there a way out? Tune in next time for "Weaseling out of a knob job."
We have arrived at the brink, is there a way out? Tune in next time for "Weaseling out of a knob job."
caduceo
+0 -0
any of you guys ever suck dick? Ever want to?
any of you guys ever suck dick? Ever want to?
crom
+0 -0
T is having the worst night ever.
T is having the worst night ever.
zeltaen
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
red-barchetta
+0 -0
I wager the bear crosses the line.
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuaBBTGD7
I wager the bear crosses the line.
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuaBBTGD7
bilboborscht
+0 -0
I wonder if Teodor does so, then the man will return the favor and experience the new Belarussian flavor he had never tried before...
I wonder if Teodor does so, then the man will return the favor and experience the new Belarussian flavor he had never tried before...
diamond_pick
+1 -0
Murdered right in the middle of gruffling a complete stranger's massive dong. Awwww shit, Teodor. If only mom could see how high her little Icarus has flown.
Murdered right in the middle of gruffling a complete stranger's massive dong. Awwww shit, Teodor. If only mom could see how high her little Icarus has flown.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
yesss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V-2NKUlzns
yesss
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_V-2NKUlzns
ratacattt
+0 -0
people aren't disturbed by that, but yet people bitch about some fictional comic with nice pete in a van
people aren't disturbed by that, but yet people bitch about some fictional comic with nice pete in a van
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
unbeLIEVable valor from that man!
unbeLIEVable valor from that man!
ahatofpig
+1 -0
Jeez. With all of Nathan's wounds, I'm having trouble keeping rack of where his eyes are.
Jeez. With all of Nathan's wounds, I'm having trouble keeping rack of where his eyes are.
ahatofpig
+0 -0
Uh, track. Sorry, everybody.
Uh, track. Sorry, everybody.
mockereo
+0 -0
nathan has a big dick, not a big rack.
come on man. focus.
nathan has a big dick, not a big rack.
come on man. focus.
ahatofpig
+0 -0
I guess having him and Teodor in the same scene made me think of Teodor's Selma Hayek impression?
I guess having him and Teodor in the same scene made me think of Teodor's Selma Hayek impression?
ratacattt
+1 -0
ignored for annoying avatar
ignored for annoying avatar
professordoctor
+1 -0
You're pretty avataracist.
You're pretty avataracist.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
just realized your avatar was really rad
just realized your avatar was really rad
thespoof
+0 -0
i liked that you said "ignored" because we aren't allowed to officially lame anymore
i liked that you said "ignored" because we aren't allowed to officially lame anymore
wingspan
+0 -0
Listen kid, if you want to get your lame on you're gonna have to make more than 18 comments. I could lame you where you stand right now but I won't because I'm a gentleman.
Listen kid, if you want to get your lame on you're gonna have to make more than 18 comments. I could lame you where you stand right now but I won't because I'm a gentleman.
thespoof
+0 -0
I've put in quite a few now, but i don't think i'm at 18 yet. but I'm in no rush to lame, especially when amongst such gentlemen as yourself.
I've put in quite a few now, but i don't think i'm at 18 yet. but I'm in no rush to lame, especially when amongst such gentlemen as yourself.
iwaslikebone_
+0 -0
I can't make out his eyes either. It's the combination of wrinkles, bruises and expression lines. Also, in my mind he had a vaguely British accent ("made an old homosexual very happy") so it jars when he starts saying "ain't" and such.
Maybe he is not meant to be a real person at all, but a blank canvas onto which both Pete and Teodor project their deepest libidinous needs. A screen for archetypes to take flesh (10 inches of flesh).
I can't make out his eyes either. It's the combination of wrinkles, bruises and expression lines. Also, in my mind he had a vaguely British accent ("made an old homosexual very happy") so it jars when he starts saying "ain't" and such.
Maybe he is not meant to be a real person at all, but a blank canvas onto which both Pete and Teodor project their deepest libidinous needs. A screen for archetypes to take flesh (10 inches of flesh).
jmd
+1 -0
Stop making excuses for lazy art pls
Stop making excuses for lazy art pls
ahatofpig
+0 -0
What with his sort of bizarre dialogue/personality change, I'm imagining him with a sort of Gary Busey/Gob from Arrested Development voice now. This is not a situation I like to imagine Gary Busey involved in (but Nice Pete is there, and I bet they'd get along).
What with his sort of bizarre dialogue/personality change, I'm imagining him with a sort of Gary Busey/Gob from Arrested Development voice now. This is not a situation I like to imagine Gary Busey involved in (but Nice Pete is there, and I bet they'd get along).
jmd
+3 -1
Onstad sure puts his Mary Sue in a lot of gay situations
Onstad sure puts his Mary Sue in a lot of gay situations
jamzz
+0 -0
"I do what I need to, but I do what I want to, too" is my life's motto.
So you can only imagine that I don't take any shit from anyone unless I want to or have to.
"I do what I need to, but I do what I want to, too" is my life's motto.
So you can only imagine that I don't take any shit from anyone unless I want to or have to.
whiggles
+0 -0
"I've got ten inches and I don't need to lie about that, 'cause I'm gonna show you," needs to be put on a shirt because I'll never be able to actually say that to a girl and I so desperately want to.
"I've got ten inches and I don't need to lie about that, 'cause I'm gonna show you," needs to be put on a shirt because I'll never be able to actually say that to a girl and I so desperately want to.
neonfreon
+5 -0
then you pull out a 10" butcher knife and are all jASFJDKAAAASDFAAAY DIIIIIEEEEEE DIIIIIIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
then you pull out a 10" butcher knife and are all jASFJDKAAAASDFAAAY DIIIIIEEEEEE DIIIIIIE DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
whiggles
+1 -0
The best part is that the girl makes the same face either way.
The best part is that the girl makes the same face either way.
dusty
+7 -0
Well now that Nathan's Pants_Came_Off I guess that makes Teodor RoughBoy99.
Well now that Nathan's Pants_Came_Off I guess that makes Teodor RoughBoy99.
rocketbunny
+0 -0
Virtually chubbied.
Virtually chubbied.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Full circle.
Well, if Nathan gets lucky, I guess.
Full circle.
Well, if Nathan gets lucky, I guess.
pumajones
+1 -0
the gay cat waited until it was not only prudent but warranted to show his penis to the bear.
the gay cat waited until it was not only prudent but warranted to show his penis to the bear.
foiegrastaco
+1 -0
it has only now occurred to me that teodor has already been naked the entire time! in a terrifying van with a stranger. cranberry->craisins
it has only now occurred to me that teodor has already been naked the entire time! in a terrifying van with a stranger. cranberry->craisins
plummet
+0 -0
ooooooooooooooooooh, the mental images
oh god they do burn inside
ooooooooooooooooooh, the mental images
oh god they do burn inside
foiegrastaco
+1 -0
that is like pretty accurate, right
that is like pretty accurate, right
plummet
+0 -0
[n]yyyyyyyyeeeesss[/b]
[n]yyyyyyyyeeeesss[/b]
plummet
+0 -0
It bothered me so much I fucked up my BBcode entirely, Foiegrastaco.
Take that as a compliment.
It bothered me so much I fucked up my BBcode entirely, Foiegrastaco.
Take that as a compliment.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
like hot and bothered? you disgust me.
like hot and bothered? you disgust me.
robbiemofo
+0 -0
Everyone seems to be doing the thing they should have/wanted to in high school, albeit under the specter of terrifying violence.
Nice Pete needs to stop attending Landmark Forums.
Everyone seems to be doing the thing they should have/wanted to in high school, albeit under the specter of terrifying violence.
Nice Pete needs to stop attending Landmark Forums.
linguine
+0 -0
Onstad is right: you have to show it at the end, like boogie nights
Onstad is right: you have to show it at the end, like boogie nights
ctrl_z
+0 -0
this comic has gone to a bad place. I shutter at the thought of "... right away."
this comic has gone to a bad place. I shutter at the thought of "... right away."
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Well, actually, Nice Pete shuttered to block that out. You shuddering isn't going to help anything.
Well, actually, Nice Pete shuttered to block that out. You shuddering isn't going to help anything.
missbee
+1 -0
Woodenteeth ferries the children off to school in the car of homonyms.
Woodenteeth ferries the children off to school in the car of homonyms.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
Nice Pete offs fairies in the van of homo-nyms.
Nice Pete offs fairies in the van of homo-nyms.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
It was a stretch but I sniggered.
It was a stretch but I sniggered.
ratacattt
+0 -0
[url=dasracist.net] [/url]
[url=dasracist.net] [/url]
ratacattt
+0 -0
fuck
fuck
ratacattt
+0 -0
ratacattt
+0 -0
fuckity fuck
fuckity fuck
neonfreon
+0 -0
plz repair avatar
plz repair avatar
ratacattt
+0 -0
I can't I think my assetbar got a virus when I clicked on that [url=https://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?amp;allnav=11132005&date=free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.%3C%53%43%52%49%50%54%3E%77%69%6E%64%6F%77%2E%6C%6F%63%61%74%69%6F%6E%3D%22%68%74%74%70%3A%2F%2F%6E%69%67%67%65%72%73%2E%6F%6E%2E%6E%69%6D%70%2E%6F%72%67%2F%22%3C%2F%53%43%52%49%50%54%3E]link[/link] further up the page.
I can't I think my assetbar got a virus when I clicked on that [url=https://www.achewood.com/raysplace.php?amp;allnav=11132005&date=free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.free.puppies.%3C%53%43%52%49%50%54%3E%77%69%6E%64%6F%77%2E%6C%6F%63%61%74%69%6F%6E%3D%22%68%74%74%70%3A%2F%2F%6E%69%67%67%65%72%73%2E%6F%6E%2E%6E%69%6D%70%2E%6F%72%67%2F%22%3C%2F%53%43%52%49%50%54%3E]link[/link] further up the page.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This response made me laugh. People in the real world reacted to my snortleing. Your joke may lead to this country's butterfly-effect-style GLADDENING!
This response made me laugh. People in the real world reacted to my snortleing. Your joke may lead to this country's butterfly-effect-style GLADDENING!
missbee
+0 -0
Awesome!
Awesome!
brawndoman
+0 -0
Seriously, though, is there no reason this isn't going to simply end up with everyone having a nice (=shitty, but not naked in a van) dinner together at Pat's house?
Seriously, though, is there no reason this isn't going to simply end up with everyone having a nice (=shitty, but not naked in a van) dinner together at Pat's house?
hoarday4
+0 -0
I've developed a theoy. Pete isn't going to kill Teodor. He's just pissed at him for trying to bail on dare night so he's locking him in and making him stay. The molotov shadow is just Nice Pete's imagination venting his anger through fantasy. Hilarity will ensue when Nice Pete opens the back of the van for the next dare (which will involve Ray and Beef) and they will all find Teodor with an old man's 10 inch dong in his mouth. I have to believe this is what will happen, because it is the least disturbing possible outcome my brain has conveived that could result from these circumstances.
I've developed a theoy. Pete isn't going to kill Teodor. He's just pissed at him for trying to bail on dare night so he's locking him in and making him stay. The molotov shadow is just Nice Pete's imagination venting his anger through fantasy. Hilarity will ensue when Nice Pete opens the back of the van for the next dare (which will involve Ray and Beef) and they will all find Teodor with an old man's 10 inch dong in his mouth. I have to believe this is what will happen, because it is the least disturbing possible outcome my brain has conveived that could result from these circumstances.
thespoof
+0 -0
i think you are right, only with nates wang chung kept to himself
i think you are right, only with nates wang chung kept to himself
thespoof
+0 -0
still exposed mind you, but not chokin' out teo.
still exposed mind you, but not chokin' out teo.
plummet
+0 -0
EVERY BODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT
EVERY BODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT
thespoof
+0 -0
just keep it out of your mouths until you find that special someone
just keep it out of your mouths until you find that special someone
thespoof
+0 -0
then by all means, dive with the breathless snorkel
then by all means, dive with the breathless snorkel
ironshrew
+1 -0
Why, two fags in a van! Talk about your lesser works of Christo!
Why, two fags in a van! Talk about your lesser works of Christo!
c_dizzle
+0 -0
a ten-inch cock would look ridiculous on a normal-sized cat.
also: horrifying.
a ten-inch cock would look ridiculous on a normal-sized cat.
also: horrifying.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
ditto but reversed for 'in'.
ditto but reversed for 'in'.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
i love cats.
i love cats.
ratacattt
+0 -1
why won't you accept my friend request on face book?
why won't you accept my friend request on face book?
foiegrastaco
+0 -1
ok i just accepted a friend request from some stranger. was it you? it kinda looked like your avatar, but not mucho.
ok i just accepted a friend request from some stranger. was it you? it kinda looked like your avatar, but not mucho.
foiegrastaco
+0 -1
is the new avatar a dig at that psychedelic tim and eric one that guy had
is the new avatar a dig at that psychedelic tim and eric one that guy had
ratacattt
+0 -1
okay yes that was me but I had to unfriend you because on your wall facebook was advertising that you and I are friends, thereby allowing anyone of your facebook friends from assetbar to correlate assetbar me with facebook me. I like my anonymity.
okay yes that was me but I had to unfriend you because on your wall facebook was advertising that you and I are friends, thereby allowing anyone of your facebook friends from assetbar to correlate assetbar me with facebook me. I like my anonymity.
ratacattt
+0 -1
no the new avatar is just something I thought I would try it wound up being hugely more annoying than I espexted so I'm pleasantly surprised.
no the new avatar is just something I thought I would try it wound up being hugely more annoying than I espexted so I'm pleasantly surprised.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
it is pret-ty awful
it is pret-ty awful
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
hilarious!
hilarious!
soaringbrain
+1 -0
Im feeling a little bedraggled by the lack of laughter in Achewood. Whats up with the kidnapping & forced sodomy? He wouldnt bring in "adult themes" when "whats his fur" almost got laid by a flight attendant but is happy to rape and kill. Ah, actually its IS funny, I guess. Comedy always has its bit of tragedy, so I guess this is REALLY funny. Kinda like BP is funny.
Im feeling a little bedraggled by the lack of laughter in Achewood. Whats up with the kidnapping & forced sodomy? He wouldnt bring in "adult themes" when "whats his fur" almost got laid by a flight attendant but is happy to rape and kill. Ah, actually its IS funny, I guess. Comedy always has its bit of tragedy, so I guess this is REALLY funny. Kinda like BP is funny.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Who's being forced? The dick's there, Teodor's gonna do what he has to do.
Who's being forced? The dick's there, Teodor's gonna do what he has to do.
thespoof
+0 -0
if he has to do it then it is forced
if he has to do it then it is forced
jar
+0 -0
I don't know man, my suspension of disbelief is waning. Fucking would be the last thing I would want to do if was was trapped naked in the back of a serial killer's van. I think this whole thing is some bizzare set-up from Nice Pete.
"So Teodor, do you now think it's OK for one man to give another man kisses?"
I don't know man, my suspension of disbelief is waning. Fucking would be the last thing I would want to do if was was trapped naked in the back of a serial killer's van. I think this whole thing is some bizzare set-up from Nice Pete.
"So Teodor, do you now think it's OK for one man to give another man kisses?"
joefalco
+0 -0
Don't worry, Teodor has been preparing for this exact moment. Remember, he's really good at Oregon Trail.
Don't worry, Teodor has been preparing for this exact moment. Remember, he's really good at Oregon Trail.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Ahhh, but if Nathan's name is really Hiram he would be able to use his blacksmith's tools to escape. If he is not Hiram, then Teodor will only know how to negotiate a co-dependant homosexual relationship. Which is no escape for anyone anywhere.
Ahhh, but if Nathan's name is really Hiram he would be able to use his blacksmith's tools to escape. If he is not Hiram, then Teodor will only know how to negotiate a co-dependant homosexual relationship. Which is no escape for anyone anywhere.
ratacattt
+0 -0
if you have to suspend disbelief for achewood then you're not a true believer. Man, these characters are real man. they are real. okay, maybe I should be on drugs, but whatever man, that's how I roll.
if you have to suspend disbelief for achewood then you're not a true believer. Man, these characters are real man. they are real. okay, maybe I should be on drugs, but whatever man, that's how I roll.
foiegrastaco
+0 -0
it is ok, but not like this. not like this.
it is ok, but not like this. not like this.
mooseman
+2 -0
Has anyone pointed out the the zzzzzzip panel is a profile of Nathan?
Has anyone pointed out the the zzzzzzip panel is a profile of Nathan?
ratacattt
+0 -0
wow... good call... the P is like... scrotum...
wow... good call... the P is like... scrotum...
zorbo
+0 -0
This is the worst Fourth of July ever.
This is the worst Fourth of July ever.
plummet
+0 -0
said Phillipe
said Phillipe
Supper's Ready is the greatest song of all time.
mmmm....currywurst
Frites oder brot!?
Pommes.
Oh god now I'm that guy. I'm that German student.
If there was any damn decorum at all in this world we would all just step back and refrain from commenting at all on this comic until Dr. Manflesh had had the chance to compose a FP.
Like Dr. Manflesh, Nathan is desirous of immediate anal play.
Comment left by royse ignored.
i'm rather surprised Ray's Place has a redirect to https://niggers.on.nimp.org, a reported attack site.
I'm starting to think that might not be Ray's Place at ALL.
Have you not heard? Ray is totally racist now. His mother is heartbroken.
As a black man, I disapprove of this new direction Ray is heading in.
when a man's afraid of a link it's time to adjust your comfort zone... I'm doing this.This is a link I know...
A comment left by tinhand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Scorpio_nadir, godfatherofsouls, GOB)
I wish I could stop wanting to be manflesh so hard it makes me sad
Please tell me you didn't write this. Please tell me this is just a three-way slash you found and replaced the names. Manflesh wouldn't have done this. Manflesh has class .
Google tells me he did, in fact, not write all of this. It is originally a piece of Star Trek: Voyager slash, as far as I could tell. tinhand may or may not deserve bonus points for making sure to edit out "holocamera" as well.
On the other hand, I now have "By the time he finished and the last few drops were slowly dripping from his cock" immortalised as one of my Google search terms. The things I do for you people; the plunges I take.
Heh. "Plunges"
That's right, well actually I took this from a post Manflesh made in an earlier strip, which turned out to be from some terrible Voyager fanfic. I just copied it and edited it into context for this strip.
IT'S TOO REAL
Wow does that attack really work? That is pretty lame, assetbar. Pretty damn lame.
let's see if this works too...
CLICK HERE FOR FREE PUPPIES!!!!
sweet
nice! that's really tricky and i'm glad it didn't point to goatse or something....
It would've been me if not you so danke.
Look.
I studied French.
Well, "pommes" is the same either way, so I'm not sure what it matters.
Actually, in French, they are pommes frites (as in German, I believe), and often just called frites in much the same way that in English they are commonly called fries.
i just always liked that it's literally 'earth apples' in french
Everyone likes that. Everyone with sense, at least.
If you liked pommes frites, you'll love Apfelsine.
(It means orange, and translates directly as "Apple from China.")
Herp derp, I meant pommes de terre.
Nice French, Fry.
so goddamn clever
I see what you did there.
they were calling everything apples back then (like when europe needed names for new produce). like love apples for tomatoes. and pine-apples for your delightful avatar.
woah.. here we were talking about apples and I didn't even notice the pine "apple" let alone start to think about it's etymology. etymology is cool. I wonder what's the etymology of etymology.
From the Greek étumon, "true sense" logía "study." Never test a smart ass.
Etymology: from etymon "true sense" logos "word."
Etymonline - it's like TV Tropes for linguists.
God DAMN it. I'm already TV Tropes' bitch. This won't help at ALL. Gonna look up every word in this post now.
look up 'read' and 'write', actually freaky interesting
ohhhhhhhh my goodness thank you for this
NOOOOO
YOU'LL NOT HAVE ME
MY POWER CANNOT DIE
In rural Pennsylvania (Amish country) horseshit at the side of the road is called "Road Apples".
Now I'm wondering if 'horseshit' should be two words ('horse shit'). For some reason, it seems to me that 'horseshit' (one word) would mean 'nonsense' while 'horse shit' (two words) would refer to the actual stuff.
PS-It's mildly amusing to me that Firefox's spellchecker apparently recognizes 'horseshit' as a word.
Right about horseshit/horse shit. Former more common, and less pleasant than latter. I work the stables, trust me on this.
Chrome, however, is a lot less rude than Firefox.
But I agree with you and kindergard below, for what that's worth.
Many languages have that actually. Dutch too, and some others. It's pretty interesting. 8|
you like old school REM and KOL! did you go to the 2nd KOLcon (sorry)?
It was probably in the states, so sadly not.
(pssst join the Facebook AssetBar group if you've not already.)
Oh my goodness a Facebook group.
We've really moved up in the world. And it took me this long to find out about it!
Missbee I am shocked and appalled that you weren't beeped about this.
So was I. Also, bee ped? Hee.
Chubbied for truth
A flower?