tofu_fighting
+3 -2
Is it wrong to be finding this just a leeetle bit sexy?
Is it wrong to be finding this just a leeetle bit sexy?
jeffspaulding
+23 -0
yes
yes
deus
+1 -0
oh crap....CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!
NO NO NO NO NO!
Don't CHECK FOR RULE 34! Don't, don't!, bad brain BAD BAD BAD!
oh crap....CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!
NO NO NO NO NO!
Don't CHECK FOR RULE 34! Don't, don't!, bad brain BAD BAD BAD!
jeffspaulding
+7 -0
[IMGS OFF]
(thank God)
[IMGS OFF]
(thank God)
belgand
+0 -0
As it should be. There is Achewood 34 as I have found and posted it in the past. This is one of those rare times when the lacks of [IMGS] has benefited us.
As it should be. There is Achewood 34 as I have found and posted it in the past. This is one of those rare times when the lacks of [IMGS] has benefited us.
spazdor
+0 -0
Tacodor's bits don't count.
Tacodor's bits don't count.
deus
+0 -0
Nor catbrawls.
Nor catbrawls.
plummet
+0 -0
Any man who does not chubby this is no man in my eyes
Any man who does not chubby this is no man in my eyes
wazza
+0 -0
why would anyone want to be a man in your eyes?
...why would you want a man in your eyes?
why would anyone want to be a man in your eyes?
...why would you want a man in your eyes?
spazdor
+2 -0
"I swear Doc, i have no idea how he got there. I just blinked and-.. wham. MAN.
Can you remove him?"
"I swear Doc, i have no idea how he got there. I just blinked and-.. wham. MAN.
Can you remove him?"
plummet
+1 -0
First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother%u2019s eye.
Matthew 7:5
Now we know what log Jesus was talkin bout
First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother%u2019s eye.
Matthew 7:5
Now we know what log Jesus was talkin bout
taskmaster
+1 -0
It is wrong on an epic magnitude. I don't want to have judgement here, but how can you be thinking this? It curdles the milk of the fabric of the universe.
It is wrong on an epic magnitude. I don't want to have judgement here, but how can you be thinking this? It curdles the milk of the fabric of the universe.
robbiemofo
+0 -0
It is the wrong-ness itself that you find sexy.
It is the wrong-ness itself that you find sexy.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Repent Now!
Repent Now!
tofu_fighting
+0 -0
And my penitence will take the form of this dare. I'll remove my clothing, inhale deeply and stride into a family restaurant. Thanks, Darren!
And my penitence will take the form of this dare. I'll remove my clothing, inhale deeply and stride into a family restaurant. Thanks, Darren!
audhumla
+1 -0
you're just making it hotter
you're just making it hotter
thinman
+0 -0
It's the nun habit.
It's the nun habit.
tekende
+1 -0
It's a hard habit to break
It's a hard habit to break
chalibaeus
+1 -0
He is walking into a Family Restaurant.
He is walking into a Family Restaurant.
zaer
+0 -0
Smiling all the while...
Smiling all the while...
aperson
+8 -0
This kind of off-color jape is a staple of American Teen Life. The principal is going to be really steamed about this.
This kind of off-color jape is a staple of American Teen Life. The principal is going to be really steamed about this.
carlyle
+4 -0
If he's not too busy doin' Ramona Quimby.
If he's not too busy doin' Ramona Quimby.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Surprisingly, searching "beverly cleary porn" does not yield any particularly salient results. I am relieved.
Surprisingly, searching "beverly cleary porn" does not yield any particularly salient results. I am relieved.
carlyle
+3 -0
Paheal has a lot, I'd assume, from my perusage of the site and all Man, thank God for that. That'd be disturbing to no end, right?
thinman
+0 -0
Or raiding Barry Manilow's wardrobe.
Or raiding Barry Manilow's wardrobe.
theirateturk
+1 -0
If my chest hairs were equally lacking in calibre, I think I would be an asshole too.
If my chest hairs were equally lacking in calibre, I think I would be an asshole too.
farqussus
+1 -0
there must be an upside down bell curve on that chest hair/asshole graph, because at the other end of the spectrum there is Robin Williams
there must be an upside down bell curve on that chest hair/asshole graph, because at the other end of the spectrum there is Robin Williams
theirateturk
+2 -2
Being hairy is not a problem; having wincy faggy little bitch hairs is
Being hairy is not a problem; having wincy faggy little bitch hairs is
theirateturk
+0 -0
Also, having a hairy back lol
Also, having a hairy back lol
brokeaccount
+0 -0
Lacking so much that they are not even visible when viewed side-on. If Pete was a normal, social man without homicidal tendencies, he would employ this as a party trick, turning sideways whilst alternating between impressions of Elvis Presley and Mark Wahlberg.
Lacking so much that they are not even visible when viewed side-on. If Pete was a normal, social man without homicidal tendencies, he would employ this as a party trick, turning sideways whilst alternating between impressions of Elvis Presley and Mark Wahlberg.
randyleepublic
+1 -0
Denny's is so fucking boring. I sort of like some of their food, but it is so boring, I can't stand to even think about going inside. But, hey! Not tonight!! That place is about to jump!
Denny's is so fucking boring. I sort of like some of their food, but it is so boring, I can't stand to even think about going inside. But, hey! Not tonight!! That place is about to jump!
zaer
+6 -0
Support euthanasia for dudes who have been brought to Denny's
Support euthanasia for dudes who have been brought to Denny's
daidai
+2 -0
Just have men in white coats at every table waiting -- hypodermic needle in hand. Euthanasia for all the unfortunate wounded souls whom lost their way in life drifting through a Styx-ian river of mediocrity, and find themselves staring at the curdling food which inadvertently created Nannerpuss.
They sit down, their food is brought to them, and before they have to touch it they enter their final rest.
Fuck Denny's.
Just have men in white coats at every table waiting -- hypodermic needle in hand. Euthanasia for all the unfortunate wounded souls whom lost their way in life drifting through a Styx-ian river of mediocrity, and find themselves staring at the curdling food which inadvertently created Nannerpuss.
They sit down, their food is brought to them, and before they have to touch it they enter their final rest.
Fuck Denny's.
dusty
+0 -0
Your avatar rocks my socks off.
Your avatar rocks my socks off.
zaer
+0 -0
It's been designed to...
It's been designed to...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
...to WHAT???
...to WHAT???
neonfreon
+0 -0
I lived in Tokyo for about a year and Denny's was fantastic to visit. Steak, pancakes, waffles, and beer. And squid.
I lived in Tokyo for about a year and Denny's was fantastic to visit. Steak, pancakes, waffles, and beer. And squid.
ratacattt
+0 -0
Denny's in Japan... well... there's a comment about racism in there for sure...
Denny's in Japan... well... there's a comment about racism in there for sure...
mockereo
+0 -0
FIND IT. or you just aren't trying
FIND IT. or you just aren't trying
farqussus
+0 -0
I couldn't imagine wanting to actually eat food at a restaurant that was exciting.
I couldn't imagine wanting to actually eat food at a restaurant that was exciting.
mockereo
+0 -0
teppanyaki restaurants are generally pretty exciting, and my local shop has delicious Kobe steak
teppanyaki restaurants are generally pretty exciting, and my local shop has delicious Kobe steak
radchilies
+2 -0
Was Pete already not wearing pants?
Was Pete already not wearing pants?
landowmpg
+10 -0
Nice Pete wears tank tops and tube socks to a murder and NOTHING else.
Nice Pete wears tank tops and tube socks to a murder and NOTHING else.
dusty
+1 -0
"Ok, so you have the victim's blood on my client's socks and shirt, but WHERE pray tell, are the blood stained pants? I suppose they got up and walked away? That is ridiculous, pants cannot walk on their own, because they can't wear shoes."
"Ok, so you have the victim's blood on my client's socks and shirt, but WHERE pray tell, are the blood stained pants? I suppose they got up and walked away? That is ridiculous, pants cannot walk on their own, because they can't wear shoes."
achtung
+0 -0
i want to meet the lawyer who would represent nice pete
i want to meet the lawyer who would represent nice pete
tekende
+1 -0
Jackie Chiles, maybe?
Jackie Chiles, maybe?
wazza
+0 -0
pick up your phone book. Look under L for Lawyers.
Any of these people will represent Nice Pete if enough money is provided to them.
pick up your phone book. Look under L for Lawyers.
Any of these people will represent Nice Pete if enough money is provided to them.
dusty
+0 -0
This is basically my answer. The real question is which ones would be brazen enough to put in a plea of not guilty with a client who would testify that it was self defense from the victim's attempts to gun him down with screaming balls of light fired from the ribcage.
This is basically my answer. The real question is which ones would be brazen enough to put in a plea of not guilty with a client who would testify that it was self defense from the victim's attempts to gun him down with screaming balls of light fired from the ribcage.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
Bob Loblaw?
Bob Loblaw?
belgand
+0 -0
Saul Goodman?
Saul Goodman?
spazdor
+0 -0
That guy in the back corner https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxMS59sxwxs
That guy in the back corner https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxMS59sxwxs
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
Better call Saul!
Better call Saul!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Frank 'The Strongarm' D. Azar.
Denver's main dude of lawyerness.
Frank 'The Strongarm' D. Azar.
Denver's main dude of lawyerness.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Okay, Onstad, where's the scars on his ass cheek? Are we expected to believe Pete is so vain he got plastic surgery on his butt?
Okay, Onstad, where's the scars on his ass cheek? Are we expected to believe Pete is so vain he got plastic surgery on his butt?
radchilies
+0 -0
His ass cheek and brain were hella stabbed, if I recall correctly.
His ass cheek and brain were hella stabbed, if I recall correctly.
dusty
+2 -0
You are both assuming that nice Pete is wearing only his own skin.
You are both assuming that nice Pete is wearing only his own skin.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's the Dare.
That's the Dare.
nek314
+0 -0
Nice Pete will not suffer the indignity of being shown up on a dare.
Nice Pete will not suffer the indignity of being shown up on a dare.
jetbunny
+2 -0
...So, it's like every other night at Denny's.
...So, it's like every other night at Denny's.
jeffspaulding
+1 -0
Ecce Homo
Ecce Homo
journalclub
+2 -0
Ergo elk?
Ergo elk?
smallblackdog
+0 -0
Nice Pete is about to pull a surprise.
Nice Pete is about to pull a surprise.
cryztal
+0 -0
Annnnnnd now's the time to exit the car and get on over to the ER/police station.
Annnnnnd now's the time to exit the car and get on over to the ER/police station.
comrade_tom
+3 -0
"Hi! Your Denny's name is "Rudie Nudey Shoji Tabuchi!"
"Hi! Your Denny's name is "Rudie Nudey Shoji Tabuchi!"
tonk
+0 -0
There goes Andy Larson. The DARE MASTER.
There goes Andy Larson. The DARE MASTER.
drcoffee
+0 -0
This action would be much more shocking in any other restaurant, but it is damn near close to standard behavior at 4 in the morning at Denny's. You don't go there for the food, you go there for the possibility of some shit going down.
This action would be much more shocking in any other restaurant, but it is damn near close to standard behavior at 4 in the morning at Denny's. You don't go there for the food, you go there for the possibility of some shit going down.
invidious
+21 -0
Quote:
Don't be redundant.
Quote:
You don't go there for the food, you go there for the possibility of some shit going down.
Don't be redundant.
lurquilla
+0 -1
FOR SERIOUS I AM LOOKING FOR THAT QUEENIE LITTLE DOODYBOY. I GOT COUSINS IN ANGEL'S CAMP, MANTECA, TURLOC AND BARSTOW AND WE IS ALL LOOKING FOR THAT LITTLE TURDY BITCH. IT IS HIS FAULT EVERYTHING TOOK A BAD TURN AFTER HE DUMPED A LOG ON OUR LAWN. IF YOU KNOW WHERE HE GOT TO, LET ME KNOW HERE. HE IS GONNA PAY.
FOR SERIOUS I AM LOOKING FOR THAT QUEENIE LITTLE DOODYBOY. I GOT COUSINS IN ANGEL'S CAMP, MANTECA, TURLOC AND BARSTOW AND WE IS ALL LOOKING FOR THAT LITTLE TURDY BITCH. IT IS HIS FAULT EVERYTHING TOOK A BAD TURN AFTER HE DUMPED A LOG ON OUR LAWN. IF YOU KNOW WHERE HE GOT TO, LET ME KNOW HERE. HE IS GONNA PAY.
jeffspaulding
+4 -0
Achewood is not an RPG.
Achewood is not an RPG.
wic
+44 -0
Achewood is a text adventure of bad decisions
> You wake up at 2 am to the sound of someone eerily whispering your name. A known serial killer and self-mutilator Nice Pete is behind the window, watching you sleep. He wants to grab a taco and play high school with you. Do you think this is a good idea? Y/N
>> Y
> You're in a van with Nice Pete. He smiles at you.
>
> There are no exits.
Achewood is a text adventure of bad decisions
> You wake up at 2 am to the sound of someone eerily whispering your name. A known serial killer and self-mutilator Nice Pete is behind the window, watching you sleep. He wants to grab a taco and play high school with you. Do you think this is a good idea? Y/N
>> Y
> You're in a van with Nice Pete. He smiles at you.
>
> There are no exits.
bobby_longshot
+0 -0
quite right. reminds me of Stugan.
quite right. reminds me of Stugan.
doc_rostov
+0 -0
Alternate ending.
> ... Do you think this is a good idea? Y/N
>> N
> Too bad. You're in a van with Nice Pete.
>
> There are still no exits.
Alternate ending.
> ... Do you think this is a good idea? Y/N
>> N
> Too bad. You're in a van with Nice Pete.
>
> There are still no exits.
nwnk
+2 -0
You are in an Achewood. There is a hangover here. There are Burger Kings to the north and west.
You are in an Achewood. There is a hangover here. There are Burger Kings to the north and west.
plummet
+2 -0
>Drop hangover
>Drop hangover
wazza
+2 -0
You cannot drop hangover.
>Drink Miller Lite, V8, Raw Egg
You drop hangover.
You cannot drop hangover.
>Drink Miller Lite, V8, Raw Egg
You drop hangover.
lurquilla
+0 -1
ALSO I DON'T GIVE SIX SHITS WHERE PETE IS, WE CAN ALWAYS FIND HIM IF WE NEED HIM. THIS CARTOON DON'T SHOW HIS TATTOO THOUGH.
ALSO I DON'T GIVE SIX SHITS WHERE PETE IS, WE CAN ALWAYS FIND HIM IF WE NEED HIM. THIS CARTOON DON'T SHOW HIS TATTOO THOUGH.
westsider8
+1 -0
Little does Nice Pete know that this is the night of the Achewood Naturist Club's bi-monthly trip to Denny's. If he's hoping to see some shocked faces, he's going to be disappointed. Though naturists tend to generate the emotion a lot.
Little does Nice Pete know that this is the night of the Achewood Naturist Club's bi-monthly trip to Denny's. If he's hoping to see some shocked faces, he's going to be disappointed. Though naturists tend to generate the emotion a lot.
dusty
+0 -0
Except that he appears to be wearing a humans skin as a suit, that might catch them off guard a little.
Except that he appears to be wearing a humans skin as a suit, that might catch them off guard a little.
allenphreak
+1 -0
I imagine there will be no surprise from the Denny's staff, just a quiet muttering of "Shit, Nice Pete's back and naked again ."
I imagine there will be no surprise from the Denny's staff, just a quiet muttering of "Shit, Nice Pete's back and naked again ."
zaer
+0 -0
They already serve human feet with champion short socks on (number 7).. they have seen it all.
They already serve human feet with champion short socks on (number 7).. they have seen it all.
ryder-p-moses
+4 -0
There will be no response at all. Nice Pete came by and murdered everyone in the restaurant in advance; the joke is on Teodor.
There will be no response at all. Nice Pete came by and murdered everyone in the restaurant in advance; the joke is on Teodor.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Let me guess - you'd like the biscuits and sausage.
Let me guess - you'd like the biscuits and sausage.
crycryguy
+0 -0
commodore and a svenhard to go...
commodore and a svenhard to go...
tekende
+0 -0
Bangers and mash, guv.
Bangers and mash, guv.
plummet
+0 -0
Just a well done pie of the sort that Maw-Maw would make, mister
Just a well done pie of the sort that Maw-Maw would make, mister
wazza
+2 -0
but not as good as Maw-Maw would make, in order to prevent Sinning in Mind.
but not as good as Maw-Maw would make, in order to prevent Sinning in Mind.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Capers and cod!
Capers and cod!
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
I was half-expecting panel 8 to be Nice Pete going all Brokeback Mountain on us. Still smiling, of course.
"Teodor do you think it is bad for a man to give another man kisses"
I was half-expecting panel 8 to be Nice Pete going all Brokeback Mountain on us. Still smiling, of course.
"Teodor do you think it is bad for a man to give another man kisses"
troy_convers
+0 -0
Just when you think you know Nice Pete...
Dock tail surgery? For a pointed tail, pray tell?
Just when you think you know Nice Pete...
Dock tail surgery? For a pointed tail, pray tell?
westsider8
+0 -0
There was nothing wrong with the tail. He had it removed so that his victims can't grab on to it as they fight to stay alive. But he tells people it was something he did on a *college* dare.
There was nothing wrong with the tail. He had it removed so that his victims can't grab on to it as they fight to stay alive. But he tells people it was something he did on a *college* dare.
ashoykh
+6 -0
I believe Teodor's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
I believe Teodor's suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
quietwyatt
+0 -0
I thought getting Nice Pete to go in alone was Teodor's *plan* when he made the dare! Clearly he is suffering from moo-frog brain fog on more than one level.
I thought getting Nice Pete to go in alone was Teodor's *plan* when he made the dare! Clearly he is suffering from moo-frog brain fog on more than one level.
dusty
+1 -0
Even if he escapes, and Pete is caught, tried and convicted before he can harm him, it's not as if Teodor would be safe. The only way to be safe from nice Pete is for him not to want you to die.
Even if he escapes, and Pete is caught, tried and convicted before he can harm him, it's not as if Teodor would be safe. The only way to be safe from nice Pete is for him not to want you to die.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Moo-frog brains over easy is what Pete will be ordering.
Moo-frog brains over easy is what Pete will be ordering.
nbeer
+1 -0
This strip is the first occasion upon which I have noticed the redundancy of having chest hair on Nice Pete. I mean, he's feline, right? Already covered in hair? Then again, the swooping pompadour and muttonchops apply here as well, but some reason it's the chest hair that's hypnotizing me. Any thoughts?
This strip is the first occasion upon which I have noticed the redundancy of having chest hair on Nice Pete. I mean, he's feline, right? Already covered in hair? Then again, the swooping pompadour and muttonchops apply here as well, but some reason it's the chest hair that's hypnotizing me. Any thoughts?
falseprophet
+3 -0
You need to stop getting high and watching cartoons.
You need to stop getting high and watching cartoons.
neonfreon
+0 -0
knees
knees
mawk
+0 -0
there is a lot about these cartoon cats that does not scan with cats living as they are. really, though, none of us read this comic purely for the feasibility of its stated world-model.
there is a lot about these cartoon cats that does not scan with cats living as they are. really, though, none of us read this comic purely for the feasibility of its stated world-model.
ratacattt
+0 -0
Nice Pete seems pretty feasible if you ask me
Nice Pete seems pretty feasible if you ask me
barthdrooks
+0 -0
Good God man, I was just about to ask!
Good God man, I was just about to ask!
ratacattt
+0 -0
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
parenthetical
+5 -0
Here comes a special man.
Here comes a special man.
neonfreon
+3 -0
*dock-tail surgery scar
*dock-tail surgery scar
brokeaccount
+1 -0
Whoa, somebody better call the dick police .
Whoa, somebody better call the dick police .
neonfreon
+1 -0
Whoa, someone has dick on the brain .
Whoa, someone has dick on the brain .
brokeaccount
+1 -0
That's because I am worried about going to see the dick doctor .
That's because I am worried about going to see the dick doctor .
badlion
+1 -0
gonna ask him to examine that unusually large growth beneath your belt?
gonna ask him to examine that unusually large growth beneath your belt?
mockereo
+0 -0
no, ask about herpes
no, ask about herpes
brokeaccount
+0 -0
He gave me some cream. Dick cream.
He gave me some cream. Dick cream.
neonfreon
+4 -0
Did you rub it on your penis? Dick Penis?
Did you rub it on your penis? Dick Penis?
lateadopter
+3 -0
One time I got into bed with my ex-wife, but the cat was there, and she thought it would be funny to waggle my penis in front the cat to see if he'd try to catch it. I thought that was a dick move .
One time I got into bed with my ex-wife, but the cat was there, and she thought it would be funny to waggle my penis in front the cat to see if he'd try to catch it. I thought that was a dick move .
mensch
+0 -0
Yeah, you used to do that to me too.
Yeah, you used to do that to me too.
lateadopter
+4 -0
Oh, you figured out it was me, huh? Who do you think you are, Dick Tracy ?
Oh, you figured out it was me, huh? Who do you think you are, Dick Tracy ?
stereo
+0 -0
Don't let the cat scratch you, or you'll be dick mauve .
Don't let the cat scratch you, or you'll be dick mauve .
ratacattt
+1 -0
scarlet fever something
scarlet fever something
mockereo
+0 -0
well it was shrewd investigating that Deep Throated " Tricky Dick "
well it was shrewd investigating that Deep Throated " Tricky Dick "
gournal
+2 -0
I said... stick... team... you know, stick team! stickball! Go away leave me alone!
I said... stick... team... you know, stick team! stickball! Go away leave me alone!
mawk
+0 -0
that's one determined hero-grin he has in the fifteenth panel.
that's one determined hero-grin he has in the fifteenth panel.
lolsworth
+0 -0
Obligatory "my cat is constantly naked" joke
Obligatory "my cat is constantly naked" joke
xenoterranos
+1 -0
My cat is currently wearing a diaper, so screw you and your worldview
My cat is currently wearing a diaper, so screw you and your worldview
lolsworth
+2 -1
I bet it also wears a collar DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND
I bet it also wears a collar DID I JUST BLOW YOUR MIND
stereo
+1 -0
If I saw a dude wearing just a collar I think I would still call him naked.
If I saw a dude wearing just a collar I think I would still call him naked.
thinman
+1 -0
What if he were wearing said collar around, say, his ballsack?
Or, what if it precisely covered both of his nips?
What if he were wearing said collar around, say, his ballsack?
Or, what if it precisely covered both of his nips?
ratacattt
+0 -0
cats have multiple pair of nip-nips
the really sexy cats have an odd number of nip-nips
cats have multiple pair of nip-nips
the really sexy cats have an odd number of nip-nips
ganymedeio
+0 -0
And barbed penises.
And barbed penises.
rascaldom
+0 -0
Two pretty good arcs in a row! WHAT IS GOING ON
Two pretty good arcs in a row! WHAT IS GOING ON
rb
+0 -0
spring
spring
wazza
+0 -0
he is off his medication, and it was holding him back
he is off his medication, and it was holding him back
tetsujin
+0 -0
What, you mean the "mom's an old lady now and life here just ain't what it used to be anymore" arc?
I got so tired of that one, so fast. We got the idea in, like, the first strip, and then the next two or three were just hammering the idea home. It's like, yeah, I get it already... More ways in which life back at home isn't so great any more... Move on already.
After the last strip in this arc, I've begun to hope that Teodor may be in the process of growing a pair... Realistic or not, I won't abandon this newfound optimism.
What, you mean the "mom's an old lady now and life here just ain't what it used to be anymore" arc?
I got so tired of that one, so fast. We got the idea in, like, the first strip, and then the next two or three were just hammering the idea home. It's like, yeah, I get it already... More ways in which life back at home isn't so great any more... Move on already.
After the last strip in this arc, I've begun to hope that Teodor may be in the process of growing a pair... Realistic or not, I won't abandon this newfound optimism.
ratacattt
+1 -0
maybe you have ADHD?
maybe you have ADHD?
mockereo
+1 -0
i think its great that he's so obviously excited about Achewood again. you can tell he's regained his passion because he's just spewing comics everywhere . One every two/three days? https://hellyes
i think its great that he's so obviously excited about Achewood again. you can tell he's regained his passion because he's just spewing comics everywhere . One every two/three days? https://hellyes
ratacattt
+0 -0
cliche://https://
cliche://https://
mockereo
+2 -0
strip reference://fine.
strip reference://fine.
neonfreon
+1 -0
or maybe he's dead inside, and is just dumping out his rainy day supply of great strips he knew he would need some day
or maybe he's dead inside, and is just dumping out his rainy day supply of great strips he knew he would need some day
thinman
+0 -0
Can a machine be dead inside?
I thought the 'Onstad is a real person' myth had been pretty much debunked. I mean, in the year Aught Ten it's not like you couldn't automate poorly drawn anthropomorphic cats/teddy bears and some 1989-quality vector artwork(that Denny's sign IS the ish) and call it a day.
I just assumed someone has upgraded the machine's firmware. That's why we're getting stuff faster.
(That's all just a front, Chris. I swear I still love you. I SWEAR! **hugs**)
Can a machine be dead inside?
I thought the 'Onstad is a real person' myth had been pretty much debunked. I mean, in the year Aught Ten it's not like you couldn't automate poorly drawn anthropomorphic cats/teddy bears and some 1989-quality vector artwork(that Denny's sign IS the ish) and call it a day.
I just assumed someone has upgraded the machine's firmware. That's why we're getting stuff faster.
(That's all just a front, Chris. I swear I still love you. I SWEAR! **hugs**)
lordparadise
+4 -0
Composition chops to Onstad for the giant, slightly tilted Denny's sign monopolizing the left of the strip. This is Art.
Composition chops to Onstad for the giant, slightly tilted Denny's sign monopolizing the left of the strip. This is Art.
subrosian
+0 -0
Like Sears, Dennys is an American institution. The entire experience of being an American can be summed up by eating at Dennys, shooting the waitress in the face, then voting for Bush Jr. Jr. in the 2024 election.
Like Sears, Dennys is an American institution. The entire experience of being an American can be summed up by eating at Dennys, shooting the waitress in the face, then voting for Bush Jr. Jr. in the 2024 election.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
I think that was a deleted scene in Idiocracy.
I think that was a deleted scene in Idiocracy.
ganymedeio
+0 -0
Does it have to be in that order? I'm trying to plan in case I'm ever diagnosed terminal. Of a disease, I mean.
Does it have to be in that order? I'm trying to plan in case I'm ever diagnosed terminal. Of a disease, I mean.
mockereo
+0 -0
thank god i thought you were going to be diagnosed terminal of an airport. I don't think any surgery can fix you once you turn into a large, inanimate building.
thank god i thought you were going to be diagnosed terminal of an airport. I don't think any surgery can fix you once you turn into a large, inanimate building.
belgand
+1 -0
I was once diagnosed terminal of a PDP-10. While this has presented some new challenges it hasn't significantly changed my daily life in most respects.
I was once diagnosed terminal of a PDP-10. While this has presented some new challenges it hasn't significantly changed my daily life in most respects.
melchior
+0 -0
Clean yourself up, Teodor. A bleeding naked bear raises a lot more questions than a simply naked bear. Winnie the Pooh was routinely naked, depending on which depiction of him you refer to.
Clean yourself up, Teodor. A bleeding naked bear raises a lot more questions than a simply naked bear. Winnie the Pooh was routinely naked, depending on which depiction of him you refer to.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
It's actually surprising how few questions raised by naked bleeding.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Dahmer#Murders
It's actually surprising how few questions raised by naked bleeding.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeffrey_Dahmer#Murders
melchior
+0 -0
This does not invalidate my previous comment, though.
This does not invalidate my previous comment, though.
gothfae
+0 -0
Better than Paddington Bear I tell you. A raincoat like that only belongs to a flasher.
Better than Paddington Bear I tell you. A raincoat like that only belongs to a flasher.
re5urgam
+0 -0
You can't hate on that raincoat. However, you do need to be careful of a bear wearing rain boots...
You can't hate on that raincoat. However, you do need to be careful of a bear wearing rain boots...
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I assumed this whole gambit was aimed at drawing the attention of the law to Teodor's predicament.
I assumed this whole gambit was aimed at drawing the attention of the law to Teodor's predicament.
carlyle
+0 -0
You know it's nice to see Pete so happy. He's smiling in every panel here, and though he's not high at all on my favorite character list and is a convicted criminal, I still find seeing him in such good spirits lifting.
You know it's nice to see Pete so happy. He's smiling in every panel here, and though he's not high at all on my favorite character list and is a convicted criminal, I still find seeing him in such good spirits lifting.
wonelove
+0 -0
I see it more of a crazed grin.
Hm.
I see it more of a crazed grin.
Hm.
null
+0 -0
Right now, I bet Teodore is really happy that Ray forewent the chance to kill Nice Pete back during the Mister Band days.
Right now, I bet Teodore is really happy that Ray forewent the chance to kill Nice Pete back during the Mister Band days.
subrosian
+0 -0
Man, Nice Pete probably doesn't even bring Theodor anything back... what if they go to Taco Bell after Dennys? Nice Pete could easily die, that's the unholy union of "crap that liquifies you insides".
I should know, it's how we lost Papa before the war.
Man, Nice Pete probably doesn't even bring Theodor anything back... what if they go to Taco Bell after Dennys? Nice Pete could easily die, that's the unholy union of "crap that liquifies you insides".
I should know, it's how we lost Papa before the war.
elelevato
+3 -0
Please let this mark the return of Barry Bass.
Please let this mark the return of Barry Bass.
odog
+0 -0
Is it a good idea for an escaped convict to walk into Denny's naked? I guess no worse than publishing a book.
Is it a good idea for an escaped convict to walk into Denny's naked? I guess no worse than publishing a book.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Rock on, Onstad the cartoonist.
Rock on, Onstad the cartoonist.
sherief
+0 -0
SMELL THAT CLEAN ASS AIR
SMELL THAT CLEAN ASS AIR
crom
+0 -0
Ah, Denny's. The sweet reek of pancakes and failure.
Ah, Denny's. The sweet reek of pancakes and failure.
wonelove
+0 -0
~ The best part of waking up is a naked killer in your local Denny's~ Sitting in the booth right next to you~ With a fucking creepy smile plastered on his face~ And he's all staring off into space which happens to be the back of your head~ But you can tell he's reminiscing or something because his eyes are all glazed~ But then again he just might be on acid and he's mad tripping~ I mean come on he's sitting stark naked and it's like three in the morning ~
~ The best part of waking up is a naked killer in your local Denny's~ Sitting in the booth right next to you~ With a fucking creepy smile plastered on his face~ And he's all staring off into space which happens to be the back of your head~ But you can tell he's reminiscing or something because his eyes are all glazed~ But then again he just might be on acid and he's mad tripping~ I mean come on he's sitting stark naked and it's like three in the morning ~
pigeonthunk
+2 -0
The Foldgers coffee jingle played in my head when I read this first line of this. The rest isn't in tune, so it sort of fell flat after that.
The Foldgers coffee jingle played in my head when I read this first line of this. The rest isn't in tune, so it sort of fell flat after that.
tekende
+0 -0
Yeah, I'm not really sure what the goal with that was.
Yeah, I'm not really sure what the goal with that was.
invidious
+2 -0
I read the rest of it in the monotone voices of the barbershop quartet from "Family Guy"; you know, when they're singing about the sexual harassment teacher with the huge rack and they go on and on about it.
I read the rest of it in the monotone voices of the barbershop quartet from "Family Guy"; you know, when they're singing about the sexual harassment teacher with the huge rack and they go on and on about it.
wonelove
+0 -0
Very good.
Very good.
tekende
+0 -0
Okay, yeah, that's pretty awesome. Good thinking there.
Okay, yeah, that's pretty awesome. Good thinking there.
null
+0 -0
To me, who is admittedly not anyone of purchase, this episode is like learning how to die gracefully without a gout of black vomit as an accompanimisrt. IE, it gathers no hope at all, and in fact makes me look at "Th Best Serial Killers" in a new light.
To me, who is admittedly not anyone of purchase, this episode is like learning how to die gracefully without a gout of black vomit as an accompanimisrt. IE, it gathers no hope at all, and in fact makes me look at "Th Best Serial Killers" in a new light.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Isn't the "soon" card a little unncessary? Unless Nice Pete took more than, say, thirty seconds to prepare, but I have a feeling he walked straight into that Denny's as a naked serial killer would.
Isn't the "soon" card a little unncessary? Unless Nice Pete took more than, say, thirty seconds to prepare, but I have a feeling he walked straight into that Denny's as a naked serial killer would.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
E E E UNNEEEECESSARY
E E E UNNEEEECESSARY
iwaslikebone_
+10 -0
I have realized why I never comment here. It's because I feel I'm not allowed to comment unless I say something hilariously clever or funny. Unfortunately I'm not very funny and therefore in this context can't ever be clever either. BUT. I just wanted to tell you all that I enjoy reading the discussions as much as or more than I enjoy reading the comic. You are mostly all very clever and funny. That's all. Carry on.
I have realized why I never comment here. It's because I feel I'm not allowed to comment unless I say something hilariously clever or funny. Unfortunately I'm not very funny and therefore in this context can't ever be clever either. BUT. I just wanted to tell you all that I enjoy reading the discussions as much as or more than I enjoy reading the comic. You are mostly all very clever and funny. That's all. Carry on.
rowboat
+0 -0
Having a funny, interesting or hypnotic avatar makes what you say less likely to be harshly judged. There have been plenty of people here who have become assetbar famous in spite of the fact that they never contributed an interesting comment. Carry on.
Having a funny, interesting or hypnotic avatar makes what you say less likely to be harshly judged. There have been plenty of people here who have become assetbar famous in spite of the fact that they never contributed an interesting comment. Carry on.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Amen.
Amen.
miku224
+1 -0
Truth.
Truth.
ratacattt
+1 -0
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
https://midconet.net/achewoodtest
You may use the above link to automatically read multiple strips, thereby allowing your new assetbar account to make as many comments as you like. (New assetbar accounts aren't allowed to make multiple comments until they've "read" an ungodly number of strips.)
iwaslikebone_
+0 -0
Because I judge people on their actions and not on their words you are now the greatest achewood commentator ever in my book
Because I judge people on their actions and not on their words you are now the greatest achewood commentator ever in my book
ratacattt
+0 -0
thanks but ah maybe you should know the back story behind how I came up with that page... you see... everyone thought I was such a terrible commenter that I continually got banned, so I had to make that page so I could continue being a terrible commenter with new accounts. So really I'm probably not such a great commenter... :-)
thanks but ah maybe you should know the back story behind how I came up with that page... you see... everyone thought I was such a terrible commenter that I continually got banned, so I had to make that page so I could continue being a terrible commenter with new accounts. So really I'm probably not such a great commenter... :-)
iwaslikebone_
+0 -0
The greatest of the saints started out as the greatest sinners...
The greatest of the saints started out as the greatest sinners...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I read that as greatest spiders.
...coming from the 'bove?
...makes sense to me!
I read that as greatest spiders.
...coming from the 'bove?
...makes sense to me!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
This is what love feels like AIU... cherish it...
then please smother it and bury it in the backyard
This is what love feels like AIU... cherish it...
then please smother it and bury it in the backyard
ratacattt
+0 -0
so let me get this right.. this scandal about the catholic priests.. it's all been some kind of competition between them to see who can end up being the greatest saint in the afterlife?
so let me get this right.. this scandal about the catholic priests.. it's all been some kind of competition between them to see who can end up being the greatest saint in the afterlife?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Dan Brown called, he wants his novel idea back.
Dan Brown called, he wants his novel idea back.
ratacattt
+0 -0
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nice-on-water, wazza, woodenteeth, HistoryAndMetal)
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by nice-on-water, wazza, woodenteeth, HistoryAndMetal)
ratacattt
+0 -0
that fact that people predictably lamed this proves the thesis that there is no such thing as free will
that fact that people predictably lamed this proves the thesis that there is no such thing as free will
mockereo
+2 -0
no it really doesn't. thanks anyways though!
no it really doesn't. thanks anyways though!
ratacattt
+0 -0
this reply proves it
this reply proves it
wazza
+0 -0
see, after you'd pointed out that laming disproves free will - which would presumably alter the deterministic patterns in such a way as to prevent further lames because "I have free will", I went and lamed it anyway.
That's free will/an emergent reaction-system (delete whichever is inappropriate)
see, after you'd pointed out that laming disproves free will - which would presumably alter the deterministic patterns in such a way as to prevent further lames because "I have free will", I went and lamed it anyway.
That's free will/an emergent reaction-system (delete whichever is inappropriate)
ratacattt
+1 -0
I don't have to control you or alter your behavior in order to prove that you don't have free will.
Whatever you do, no matter how unexpected it might be, can't be presumed to result from "free will." After all, who knows, maybe your "choice" was the result of some random collision of neural signals and parasitic agents in your mind which propagated upwards in the architecture of your mind via the butterfly effect, culminating in some high-level "choice."
The perception of choice is perhaps to some degree innate, but there's no denying that to a large degree it is also a cultural construct. If we chip away at all the layers of this idea of "choice" we will no doubt find that this construct has been in part formed and shaped by various religious wackos along the way in their various debates about original sin and redemption and so forth, at least, if one's culture is of Western/European origin that is.
I don't have to control you or alter your behavior in order to prove that you don't have free will.
Whatever you do, no matter how unexpected it might be, can't be presumed to result from "free will." After all, who knows, maybe your "choice" was the result of some random collision of neural signals and parasitic agents in your mind which propagated upwards in the architecture of your mind via the butterfly effect, culminating in some high-level "choice."
The perception of choice is perhaps to some degree innate, but there's no denying that to a large degree it is also a cultural construct. If we chip away at all the layers of this idea of "choice" we will no doubt find that this construct has been in part formed and shaped by various religious wackos along the way in their various debates about original sin and redemption and so forth, at least, if one's culture is of Western/European origin that is.
neonfreon
+1 -0
so those choose your own destiny books are a scam? i want my money back.
so those choose your own destiny books are a scam? i want my money back.
mensch
+0 -0
I hope that this proves to iwaslikebone_ that the bar for commenting is set pretty low.
I hope that this proves to iwaslikebone_ that the bar for commenting is set pretty low.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
low in a pole-vault sense, not limbo.
low in a pole-vault sense, not limbo.
ratacattt
+0 -0
yeah mensch... the irony was not lost on me when I started my babbling
yeah mensch... the irony was not lost on me when I started my babbling
belgand
+3 -0
Rush chooses to disagree with you.
Rush chooses to disagree with you.
ratacattt
+0 -1
how so?
how so?
thekerensky
+1 -0
Though his mind is not for rent
Don't put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day's events
The river
Though his mind is not for rent
Don't put him down as arrogant
His reserve, a quiet defense
Riding out the day's events
The river
mockereo
+1 -0
i would much rather have floating shaq head front Rush than Geddi Lee.
Fricken hate that guy's voice.
i would much rather have floating shaq head front Rush than Geddi Lee.
Fricken hate that guy's voice.
neonfreon
+0 -0
it's obvious that you don't appreciate art , man
it's obvious that you don't appreciate art , man
mockereo
+0 -0
i do appreciate art i just hate squeaky farts.
i do appreciate art i just hate squeaky farts.
dusty
+1 -0
Oh no! My mouse, it's going to the lame button, must...use...free...will...NOOO!
Oh no! My mouse, it's going to the lame button, must...use...free...will...NOOO!
relaxing
+0 -0
This comic is only increasing my craving for rock-hard cat cock.
This comic is only increasing my craving for rock-hard cat cock.
mensch
+1 -0
admit it: you'd use any excuse.
admit it: you'd use any excuse.
neonfreon
+1 -0
i heard you're into UNKLE
i heard you're into UNKLE
relaxing
+0 -0
If that was the most incriminating evidence via-a-vis cat cock you could find in my tumblr, I'm clearly going about this blogging thing all wrong.
If that was the most incriminating evidence via-a-vis cat cock you could find in my tumblr, I'm clearly going about this blogging thing all wrong.
awksedperl
+0 -0
"Attention diners. Please try not to panic, but Nice Pete's Junk has just entered the restaurant. Try not to stare directly at it. You there-didn't I just tell you not to stare directly at it? And now you're melting all over my cleanish carpeting. I don't know why I bother."
"Attention diners. Please try not to panic, but Nice Pete's Junk has just entered the restaurant. Try not to stare directly at it. You there-didn't I just tell you not to stare directly at it? And now you're melting all over my cleanish carpeting. I don't know why I bother."
c_dizzle
+17 -0
Nice Peet wins at creeper tic tac toe RE panels 3, 5 and 7.
Nice Peet wins at creeper tic tac toe RE panels 3, 5 and 7.
dybrar
+0 -0
This is an amazing if vaguely unsettling observation, and I thank you for making it.
This is an amazing if vaguely unsettling observation, and I thank you for making it.
mockereo
+0 -0
ya know the more i look at it, the more i think we can say that this game of creeper tic tac toe was between weird-smile Nice Pete and worried-eyebrow Teodor, despite some small facial differences and a mirror image.
ya know the more i look at it, the more i think we can say that this game of creeper tic tac toe was between weird-smile Nice Pete and worried-eyebrow Teodor, despite some small facial differences and a mirror image.
ratacattt
+1 -0
It's a Sunday morning, and here I am, all alone, at the computer, producing a DVD of a home movie. Boy am I glad that I didn't put this off until Monday, because shit, this is taking forever. I thought that it would be easy to edit out the part where I scream at the cop "fuck you you mother fucker you want a piece of this!!!" but it turns out it's really hard to edit a video while still making it look like it wasn't edited. Oh well. gotta keep at it.
It's a Sunday morning, and here I am, all alone, at the computer, producing a DVD of a home movie. Boy am I glad that I didn't put this off until Monday, because shit, this is taking forever. I thought that it would be easy to edit out the part where I scream at the cop "fuck you you mother fucker you want a piece of this!!!" but it turns out it's really hard to edit a video while still making it look like it wasn't edited. Oh well. gotta keep at it.
crom
+0 -0
T probably never thought he would ever wish so hard to be at Taco Bell.
T probably never thought he would ever wish so hard to be at Taco Bell.
ratacattt
+0 -0
I wonder if taco bell is a clever way to subconsciously evoke vaginas and vaginas in the mind of the consumer.
I wonder if taco bell is a clever way to subconsciously evoke vaginas and vaginas in the mind of the consumer.
wazza
+0 -0
I would show you my clever rendering of this, but, you know...
[IMGS OFF]
I would show you my clever rendering of this, but, you know...
[IMGS OFF]
vance
+0 -0
At least he ain't wearing any socks. It won't end so badly... you know... comparatively.
At least he ain't wearing any socks. It won't end so badly... you know... comparatively.
crom
+0 -0
Well, that just means that Nice Pete isn't planning on murdering anyone.
Well, that just means that Nice Pete isn't planning on murdering anyone.
dybrar
+0 -1
See sometimes
Killin' is a spontaneous thing
It's a spontaneous thing you do
when you want someone to die
See sometimes
Killin' is a spontaneous thing
It's a spontaneous thing you do
when you want someone to die
that's one naked-ass yokel man-cat.
i recently found out that the denny's where i and my gothy high school friends used to go at night to drink coffee and stay for hours and be loud and terrible customers, it's now a strip club
Do your friends now work their, either as dancers or bouncers? The opportunities for goths in this country are limited.
Perhaps the purchase of the Denny's required that some of the original staff had to be hired back... *shudder*.
Surprisingly this means that it is open fewer hours of the day, here.
The housing market alone is becoming harder for them every day, what with the growing popularity of shower-only washrooms.
Jobs-schmobs. We all know that goths only aspire to walking around Paris sewers, weeping.
A comment left by hatstand_mcq was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, riotdejaneiro, marijne)
Probably some grammar baby about his use of "their". I've been finding that I get lamed by people who never post whenever I'm sarcastic. Either the lurkers don't get it or it really offends them.
The comments that get lamed on here very seldom deserve it. It seems to be more of some sort of personal issue with that person more often than not.
Haha, were all getting lamed by lurkers for complaining about lurkers who lame people.
fear
will keep the local posters in line. Fear of this lamestation.
Lamaste!
Lurkers....who lame people....
Are the luckiest lurkers....
in the world...
The lamiest.
Elvis was the Lame-est.
Case-in-point
Yayy!
hatstand_mcq, let's smoke forever.
This had better not end with us driving a car over a cliff together. That's all I'm saying.
The same thing happened to the Denny's I used to hang out in and be a terrible customer! Wait...are you talking about the one that turned into a Stars Cabaret? In Bridgeport?
at first i was like "no, where is bridgeport, that sounds like some suburb of providence or something" and then i remembered oh god they decided to name that stretch of I-5 "bridgeport" when the fancy mall got plopped in there. yes that's the same denny's i am talking about. that bridgeport mall used to be an abandoned rock quarry that the city was using to store unused sandbags after the flood in 1995. in high school i used to hang out in that rock quarry with friends, playing with the industrial equipment down there--and then we'd walk to the denny's and drink coffee and try to scrounge together enough spare change for an order of hash browns. i visited a couple months ago, now the denny's is a strip club, and the rock quarry is a mall, with an american apparel in it?? anyway after high school i lived in downtown portland for a few years and similar transformations have overtaken all my old favorite places there, too--the nice seedy neighborhoods like the stark st. "drag strip," which used to be full of gay bars and married men furtively trying to pick up young guys and plenty of unexpected encounters with street dudes and unwashed trans punk teenagers and formers members of crappy local industrial bands so on, it's all way cleaned up, there's all upscale boutiques and furniture stores and other expensive shit (and another american apparel???!!) in there, now. anyway i'm glad i don't live in that city anymore.
also let's please not play "who are you," i have no idea who you are or if i ever met you back then, and i like my own anonymity, too
wait... I know who you are... you're that kid who got sucked into that truck-mounted industrial shredder that one time, aren't you?
if I were Dr Manflesh, I would also rate my anonymity quite highly.
I were on a forum with Dr. Manflesh, I would rate my anonymity quite highly.
As a furtive married man -- I respect that.
At least we now know where Manflesh used to go when he desired anal play. When he desired it immediately .
I'll rate your anonymity.
why won't you rate my anonymity, thegoblins?
Because you clearly want me to know you.
Biblically.
Nathan Petrelli?