groman
+1 -0
I look forward to the 10th frame..
I look forward to the 10th frame..
gregchant
+5 -0
Panel 10:
MEANWHILE.
"What the heck is this?" said Johnny Phone Calls.
"It's an Achewoodian message. They say Mikey Car Rides sleeps with the fishes."
"AWWWW GHEEB"
FURTHERMORE.
"I knew it was you, Phillipe. You broke my heart. YOU BROKE MY HEART!"
Panel 10:
MEANWHILE.
"What the heck is this?" said Johnny Phone Calls.
"It's an Achewoodian message. They say Mikey Car Rides sleeps with the fishes."
"AWWWW GHEEB"
FURTHERMORE.
"I knew it was you, Phillipe. You broke my heart. YOU BROKE MY HEART!"
silver_lake
+2 -0
After all that Ray, Philippe is like a glass of cold, familiar water. You need water. I can't always be Ketel.
After all that Ray, Philippe is like a glass of cold, familiar water. You need water. I can't always be Ketel.
johnnyc
+3 -0
No wonner Ray been-a so grouchy! He hadda no Phillipe!
No wonner Ray been-a so grouchy! He hadda no Phillipe!
spinynorman
+2 -1
Watch out with that water. It seems like easy stuff, but then it gets right up on top of you and you winding up craving that crazy shit, sitting in some diner trying to get your hands to stop shaking, digging for change through your pockets to call a cab...
We been there. We been there.
Watch out with that water. It seems like easy stuff, but then it gets right up on top of you and you winding up craving that crazy shit, sitting in some diner trying to get your hands to stop shaking, digging for change through your pockets to call a cab...
We been there. We been there.
brokeaccount
+2 -0
Everyone knows water is a gateway drug to the harder stuff... Ice. Waitress brings you a glass, it's got like two cubes in it.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT? I WANT IT COLD DAMN IT, DID YOU EVEN RUN THE TAP BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS GLASS?
Pretty soon you're taken to court to pay for her reconstructive surgery.
Bad times.
Everyone knows water is a gateway drug to the harder stuff... Ice. Waitress brings you a glass, it's got like two cubes in it.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT? I WANT IT COLD DAMN IT, DID YOU EVEN RUN THE TAP BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS GLASS?
Pretty soon you're taken to court to pay for her reconstructive surgery.
Bad times.
pyromancer
+0 -0
True Fact: A lady in a water-drinking no-peeing car-winning contest died from too much water drinking last year.
True Fact: A lady in a water-drinking no-peeing car-winning contest died from too much water drinking last year.
buttermoths
+9 -1
Your mama is so fat, she was in a water-drinking no-peeing car-winning contest last year, and when her bladder burst open hot bloody piss sprayed everywhere! Some even got on the mayor.
Your mama is so fat, she was in a water-drinking no-peeing car-winning contest last year, and when her bladder burst open hot bloody piss sprayed everywhere! Some even got on the mayor.
tekende
+2 -0
Not the mayor!
Not the mayor!
ford
+0 -0
I'm actually pretty sure the lady who died from drinking too much water was trying to win a Wii console, but i'm too lazy to google it
I'm actually pretty sure the lady who died from drinking too much water was trying to win a Wii console, but i'm too lazy to google it
ford
+1 -0
...and then he scrolled one post down and was forced to commit honorable suicide.
...and then he scrolled one post down and was forced to commit honorable suicide.
catgrl131
+3 -0
Actually, it was a water-drinking no-peeing Wii-winning contest, and the saddest thing? She was trying to win it for her kids before she...y'know...exploded...
Actually, it was a water-drinking no-peeing Wii-winning contest, and the saddest thing? She was trying to win it for her kids before she...y'know...exploded...
sabalpalm
+0 -0
My grandmother almost went into a coma because she drank too much water over like a period of 3 months. She was trying to cure a nerve problem that someone told her could be cured by decreasing your salt intake.
My grandmother almost went into a coma because she drank too much water over like a period of 3 months. She was trying to cure a nerve problem that someone told her could be cured by decreasing your salt intake.
dovey
+0 -0
It was actually to win a Wii.
The contest was called something to the effect of "Hold Your Wee for a Wii"
It was actually to win a Wii.
The contest was called something to the effect of "Hold Your Wee for a Wii"
lost_buoy
+7 -0
In fact, it's been happening for a long time...
[IMGS OFF]
In fact, it's been happening for a long time...
[IMGS OFF]
straw
+2 -0
That's what it means to be from Maine.
That's what it means to be from Maine.
boredom_man
+0 -0
also Poland.
also Poland.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
I am actually in Maine. If it didn't involve total illegality, I could bottle what comes out of my tap and sell it as Poland Spring, as it comes from the same general source. Yet, they sell it in the market here. Doesn't say much for intelligent life in Maine, does it?
I am actually in Maine. If it didn't involve total illegality, I could bottle what comes out of my tap and sell it as Poland Spring, as it comes from the same general source. Yet, they sell it in the market here. Doesn't say much for intelligent life in Maine, does it?
thegrayhoodie
+0 -0
Is it true that Bar Harbor is a small drinking town with a fishing problem?
Is it true that Bar Harbor is a small drinking town with a fishing problem?
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Oh noes! Heh, well, I think you're talking about Rockland, or maybe Friendship. Friendship also has a stabbing and shooting problem - mostly due to the Lobster Wars.
Oh noes! Heh, well, I think you're talking about Rockland, or maybe Friendship. Friendship also has a stabbing and shooting problem - mostly due to the Lobster Wars.
straw
+0 -0
You're somewhere on the Buxton/Poland water table? I'm somewhere on the Buston/Poland water table!
You're somewhere on the Buxton/Poland water table? I'm somewhere on the Buston/Poland water table!
foea
+0 -0
Philippe's imaginary crime-fighting self is a sailor, and has larger ears.
Philippe's imaginary crime-fighting self is a sailor, and has larger ears.
morelaak
+0 -0
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rowboat, glue, Zem)
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rowboat, glue, Zem)
gormster
+0 -0
Those ears have seen some hard times.
Maybe Philippe is older in his fantasy.
Those ears have seen some hard times.
Maybe Philippe is older in his fantasy.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
that kid in the story is not Five. his ears have advanced.
that kid in the story is not Five. his ears have advanced.
baryonyx
+0 -0
But lo! The real Phillipe has sprouted ears as well!
But lo! The real Phillipe has sprouted ears as well!
baryonyx
+0 -0
Oh...I...goddamnit! How long has Phillipe had ears? And why wasn't I informed?
Oh...I...goddamnit! How long has Phillipe had ears? And why wasn't I informed?
morelaak
+0 -0
we were all informed at the Achewood Company Meeting/Spatchcock Chicken Supper.
Didn't you get the memo?
we were all informed at the Achewood Company Meeting/Spatchcock Chicken Supper.
Didn't you get the memo?
baryonyx
+17 -0
No, I missed it, I was attending a series of lectures in a nearby town.
No, I missed it, I was attending a series of lectures in a nearby town.
buttermoths
+0 -0
So you're the reason I couldn't find How To Weep The Weepy-Weep Way at my local Blockbuster!
So you're the reason I couldn't find How To Weep The Weepy-Weep Way at my local Blockbuster!
nokococo
+37 -0
This joke may go without understanding from a lot of readers, but upon watching an episode of Buffy, my boyfriend pressured me to make this:
[IMGS OFF]
This joke may go without understanding from a lot of readers, but upon watching an episode of Buffy, my boyfriend pressured me to make this:
[IMGS OFF]
lost_buoy
+0 -0
She's got that quivering chin move down cold.
She's got that quivering chin move down cold.
bixschmix
+8 -0
A-BLOOO-BLOO-BLA-BLA-BLOOO
A-BLOOO-BLOO-BLA-BLA-BLOOO
nokococo
+0 -0
Bixschmix will save children, but not the British children.
Bixschmix will save children, but not the British children.
baryonyx
+0 -0
She'll kick you apart. She'll kick you apart, OOH!
She'll kick you apart. She'll kick you apart, OOH!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that is a Good Photoshop job. a chubby for thee!
that is a Good Photoshop job. a chubby for thee!
nokococo
+0 -0
Wow. o_o
Thanks! And to the other chubbiers. I feel all happy now.
Wow. o_o
Thanks! And to the other chubbiers. I feel all happy now.
rowboat
+2 -0
I was one. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I, for one, am still completely baffled by the capabilities of that program. I've still never tried to use it. It seems like there is a difference between Photoshop and Internet. Is that right?
I was one. I can't speak for anyone else here, but I, for one, am still completely baffled by the capabilities of that program. I've still never tried to use it. It seems like there is a difference between Photoshop and Internet. Is that right?
nokococo
+0 -0
Only if you listen to the Communists.
Only if you listen to the Communists.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Photoshop is your friend. Internet is not.
Photoshop is your friend. Internet is not.
lateadopter
+0 -0
I thought the backboard was my friend.
I thought the backboard was my friend.
padijun
+0 -0
You didn't use Michelle Trachtenburg?
Season 5: I'm not like everyone else, I'm a freak! (weeps)
Season 6: Give me attention! (weeps, battles kleptomania)
Season 7: I'm completely normal and don't like it! (weeps)
You didn't use Michelle Trachtenburg?
Season 5: I'm not like everyone else, I'm a freak! (weeps)
Season 6: Give me attention! (weeps, battles kleptomania)
Season 7: I'm completely normal and don't like it! (weeps)
nokococo
+0 -0
Ha. See, but I like Willow. Also, her tears can destroy your soul. Like when Oz left. Or when she realized she was evil and Tara was dead. Or... YOU TRICKED ME INTO GEEKING
Ha. See, but I like Willow. Also, her tears can destroy your soul. Like when Oz left. Or when she realized she was evil and Tara was dead. Or... YOU TRICKED ME INTO GEEKING
rowboat
+0 -0
You totally nerded in front of everyone.
You totally nerded in front of everyone.
catgrl131
+0 -0
EEEEEEEEEEEW!!
EEEEEEEEEEEW!!
phy
+1 -0
It's so he can hear when a Mafia Guy is acting out.
It's so he can hear when a Mafia Guy is acting out.
emo_kitten
+0 -0
Philippe has angry ears.
Philippe has angry ears.
padijun
+15 -0
if phillipe ran the mafia it would be specialized as fuck
example: vinny car bombs, bobby laundry, etc.
if phillipe ran the mafia it would be specialized as fuck
example: vinny car bombs, bobby laundry, etc.
gormster
+1 -0
vince cheese puffs
vince cheese puffs
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Jimmy Accounting, Tony Cooks the Meals, Tommy Lawyer...
Jimmy Accounting, Tony Cooks the Meals, Tommy Lawyer...
morelaak
+32 -0
Frankie Cement Shoes, Johnny Tire Iron, Luigi "Drug Dealer" Drug Dealer, Vincienzo Olive Oil Company Store Front Worker...
Frankie Cement Shoes, Johnny Tire Iron, Luigi "Drug Dealer" Drug Dealer, Vincienzo Olive Oil Company Store Front Worker...
padijun
+0 -0
is it acceptable to have more than one johnny/vinny/bobby/mikey in one mafia?
is it acceptable to have more than one johnny/vinny/bobby/mikey in one mafia?
morelaak
+3 -0
yes, but they have to work on different sides of the city.
unspoken law of the mafia.
yes, but they have to work on different sides of the city.
unspoken law of the mafia.
sn0wman
+4 -0
Yo, Johnny Phone Calls... give Joey Offer-Maker a ring. Frankie Sings Good needs help with a little problem.
Yo, Johnny Phone Calls... give Joey Offer-Maker a ring. Frankie Sings Good needs help with a little problem.
morelaak
+3 -0
it looks like Frankie Sings Good is getting stiffed by Joseph Makes Films out in Hollywood. Frankie Sings Good would be great in the lead roll of his new movie, "Cool Things Happening", but Joseph Makes Films already picked Burt Acts Okay.
it looks like Frankie Sings Good is getting stiffed by Joseph Makes Films out in Hollywood. Frankie Sings Good would be great in the lead roll of his new movie, "Cool Things Happening", but Joseph Makes Films already picked Burt Acts Okay.
dovey
+11 -0
Hey, Lionel Wears A Hat At A Rakish Angle, take this lasagna over to Vito Got Shot In The Face And Don't Talk So Good No More
Hey, Lionel Wears A Hat At A Rakish Angle, take this lasagna over to Vito Got Shot In The Face And Don't Talk So Good No More
scraggg
+0 -0
Lionel sounds like the token wrong-side-of-the-tracks Irishman.
Lionel sounds like the token wrong-side-of-the-tracks Irishman.
ford
+0 -0
Lionel will definitely be leaving before he has to watch Vinny eat that lasagna.
Lionel will definitely be leaving before he has to watch Vinny eat that lasagna.
grombly
+14 -0
So Frankie doesnt go to Hollywood?
So Frankie doesnt go to Hollywood?
girdag
+0 -0
I just laughed out loud at a comment. Never thought that would happen. You win, sir.
I just laughed out loud at a comment. Never thought that would happen. You win, sir.
dovey
+0 -0
Out-of-chubbies-approval for this comment!
Out-of-chubbies-approval for this comment!
falseprophet
+0 -0
In fact I was just telling Sammy Crazy Eyes about that, and I was trying to be sensitive about it but he went and blabbed to Jerry Silly Kids and Bing Beats His Wife and there were no cuddles at anyone's household that night.
In fact I was just telling Sammy Crazy Eyes about that, and I was trying to be sensitive about it but he went and blabbed to Jerry Silly Kids and Bing Beats His Wife and there were no cuddles at anyone's household that night.
spectre
+0 -0
Excellent
Excellent
echidnaboy
+2 -0
I just noticed your avatar is a picture of Wally Crooked Insurance Salesman and Phyllis Husband Killer.
I just noticed your avatar is a picture of Wally Crooked Insurance Salesman and Phyllis Husband Killer.
padijun
+0 -0
OH YEAH it's all coming back to me now, they lose the last name and get called [geographic location] [first name] or something similar
south side steve, philly steve, and so on
OH YEAH it's all coming back to me now, they lose the last name and get called [geographic location] [first name] or something similar
south side steve, philly steve, and so on
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Orthodontic Jake
Orthodontic Jake
baryonyx
+2 -0
I'm pretty sure those are the only names allowed in mafiae.
I'm pretty sure those are the only names allowed in mafiae.
earendil
+0 -0
I'm not sure how the mafia would react to being conjugated as a feminine noun...
I'm not sure how the mafia would react to being conjugated as a feminine noun...
slalvation
+2 -0
I'm not sure how a noun would react to being conjugated.
I'm not sure how a noun would react to being conjugated.
baryonyx
+2 -0
It makes them feel all tingly.
It makes them feel all tingly.
dovey
+0 -0
Later on, confused and kind of ashamed.
Later on, confused and kind of ashamed.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Good zing.
Good zing.
nemo
+0 -0
It is required.
It is required.
rowboat
+4 -0
I don't know about the President of the Mafia, but I get goddamned lovely on some red wine. It's brown liquor and a full-time job that makes me wanna kick a five-year-old otter.
I don't know about the President of the Mafia, but I get goddamned lovely on some red wine. It's brown liquor and a full-time job that makes me wanna kick a five-year-old otter.
morelaak
+0 -0
sir, it is in your best interest to not kick the five year old otter. remember, he took down the mafia. he could take you down in a five-year-old second.
sir, it is in your best interest to not kick the five year old otter. remember, he took down the mafia. he could take you down in a five-year-old second.
morelaak
+3 -0
what the hell is a five-year-old second? somebody please tell me.
what the hell is a five-year-old second? somebody please tell me.
dangelder
+3 -0
Phillipe is five. What was your first question again?
Phillipe is five. What was your first question again?
farqussus
+3 -0
Hey morelaak! Your other personality asked you a question.
Hey morelaak! Your other personality asked you a question.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
It's a complicated matter of physics. Here's Tony Good Will Hunting to explain.
It's a complicated matter of physics. Here's Tony Good Will Hunting to explain.
ocarinak
+1 -0
A five-year-old second is a period of five years over which a second takes place.
A five-year-old second is a period of five years over which a second takes place.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Thanks Tony.
Thanks Tony.
poodlelucy
+0 -0
for me, it's more like a series of events. the job makes me want the red wine, then the red wine makes me act out. oh, and then i read some achewood to quell my job-and-wine-induced-acting-outness.
for me, it's more like a series of events. the job makes me want the red wine, then the red wine makes me act out. oh, and then i read some achewood to quell my job-and-wine-induced-acting-outness.
holyq
+4 -0
I once knew a guy well he on a dare had some water.
Next thing I know he's saving babies from fires and helping old lady's cross the street and call their grandchildren.
I once knew a guy well he on a dare had some water.
Next thing I know he's saving babies from fires and helping old lady's cross the street and call their grandchildren.
awko
+0 -0
Phillipe's chosen genre is pure gold.
Not only is it an adventure, but it has a lesson for us to learn too.
Edutainment!
Phillipe's chosen genre is pure gold.
Not only is it an adventure, but it has a lesson for us to learn too.
Edutainment!
spinynorman
+2 -0
I think I saw most of this on an episode of The Wire just the other day.
I think I saw most of this on an episode of The Wire just the other day.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
I saw that one too. Except the plan didn't work because there was no room in the budget for glasses of water.
I saw that one too. Except the plan didn't work because there was no room in the budget for glasses of water.
andrew_
+0 -1
You know what I could do right now? I could type, in all caps, "SO FUCKING CUTE." But I'm not going to. Because that would be silly, and you guys probably wouldn't like it because it doesn't seem like something Phillipe would say.
So yeah, I just wrote something about not writing.
You know what I could do right now? I could type, in all caps, "SO FUCKING CUTE." But I'm not going to. Because that would be silly, and you guys probably wouldn't like it because it doesn't seem like something Phillipe would say.
So yeah, I just wrote something about not writing.
wittyname
+0 -0
Graaah! The public needs you to invoke your screaming Phillipe avatar!!
Graaah! The public needs you to invoke your screaming Phillipe avatar!!
rowboat
+0 -0
Don't put him in a box, man. He's trying to grow.
Don't put him in a box, man. He's trying to grow.
andrew_
+0 -0
yeah.
Now listen, I can't stay out too late, because I have to kill my girlfriend tomorrow.
yeah.
Now listen, I can't stay out too late, because I have to kill my girlfriend tomorrow.
rowboat
+0 -0
Chuckles. Rough ones.
Chuckles. Rough ones.
lastlarf
+0 -0
He's trying to get in to our heads, you know?
He's trying to get in to our heads, you know?
fattybeaver
+4 -0
Well when you do it try not to wake me up. Maybe pull her to the far side of the bed first.
Well when you do it try not to wake me up. Maybe pull her to the far side of the bed first.
baryonyx
+0 -0
[img]https://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y198/exige85/tintin2.jpg[/i]
That's all I have to say.
[img]https://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y198/exige85/tintin2.jpg[/i]
That's all I have to say.
baryonyx
+10 -0
Well that was embarrassing.
[IMGS OFF]
Well that was embarrassing.
[IMGS OFF]
baryonyx
+0 -0
Seriously? Only four declared Tintin fans on all of Assetbar? Bit of a shame, really.
Seriously? Only four declared Tintin fans on all of Assetbar? Bit of a shame, really.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Cinco!
Cinco!
buttermoths
+0 -0
Oh, I'll declare it. And keep declarin'. But this man right here is all out of chubbies, you see.
Oh, I'll declare it. And keep declarin'. But this man right here is all out of chubbies, you see.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Tintin kicks Poirot's (spelling?) ass anyday.
Tintin kicks Poirot's (spelling?) ass anyday.
panamajack
+0 -0
This is how I see it: Achewood, Calvin & Hobbes, Tintin, 3 Greatest Comics. I don't want to order them. Achewood for its use of language and character development and human truth, C&H for imagination and character especially in a restrictive format, Tintin for its art, plot, and Thompson and Thomson. Negative points for the racism, though.
This is how I see it: Achewood, Calvin & Hobbes, Tintin, 3 Greatest Comics. I don't want to order them. Achewood for its use of language and character development and human truth, C&H for imagination and character especially in a restrictive format, Tintin for its art, plot, and Thompson and Thomson. Negative points for the racism, though.
chuvak
+70 -0
Philippe! Good job, you ended the Mafia! Here is your reward:
[IMGS OFF]
MMmmm fishsicle.
Philippe! Good job, you ended the Mafia! Here is your reward:
[IMGS OFF]
MMmmm fishsicle.
morelaak
+0 -0
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Horace_Lung, Zem, Comrade_Tom)
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Horace_Lung, Zem, Comrade_Tom)
snowman
+0 -0
Everyone loves this.
Everyone loves this.
rowboat
+1 -0
Whoa, Chuvak! Your last avatar was Vladimir Putin giving some me straight talk before kicking my ass with judo. Now it's Mr. T giving me some straight talk before kicking my ass with ridiculously overmasculinized Christianity! How come?
Whoa, Chuvak! Your last avatar was Vladimir Putin giving some me straight talk before kicking my ass with judo. Now it's Mr. T giving me some straight talk before kicking my ass with ridiculously overmasculinized Christianity! How come?
chuvak
+0 -0
I used to live in Russia, now I live in Ukraine (not sure why Mr. T and not, say Ukrainian President Yushchenko...). TRIVIA TIME: "Chuvak" is Russian slang for "dude". YAY!
I used to live in Russia, now I live in Ukraine (not sure why Mr. T and not, say Ukrainian President Yushchenko...). TRIVIA TIME: "Chuvak" is Russian slang for "dude". YAY!
catgrl131
+0 -0
Speciba for the info, chubak.
Speciba for the info, chubak.
theboneorchard
+0 -0
MMmmm Otter Pop.
MMmmm Otter Pop.
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
69 Chubbies? NO ONE TOUCH THIS. IT MUST STAY THE WAY IT IS.
69 Chubbies? NO ONE TOUCH THIS. IT MUST STAY THE WAY IT IS.
justa
+0 -0
Aww, HELL yeah. I been hoping the little dude would bust out the typewriter again.
Aww, HELL yeah. I been hoping the little dude would bust out the typewriter again.
justa
+0 -0
Also "Johnny Phone Calls" is a perfect Mafia name.
Anyone else think Philippe has been reading a lot of Cornelius' old Popeye strips?
Also "Johnny Phone Calls" is a perfect Mafia name.
Anyone else think Philippe has been reading a lot of Cornelius' old Popeye strips?
thatcrazycommie
+1 -0
I think Achewood ahs been great lately but this is the first one in a while that just had me basically cackling the entire time I was reading it. It will be a while before I can think about the name "Johnny Phone Calls" without laughing.
I think Achewood ahs been great lately but this is the first one in a while that just had me basically cackling the entire time I was reading it. It will be a while before I can think about the name "Johnny Phone Calls" without laughing.
agentstinky
+0 -0
A comment left by agentstinky was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, tekende, ocarinak, morelaak, professorhazard, equinn2006, Baryonyx, retinarow)
A comment left by agentstinky was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, tekende, ocarinak, morelaak, professorhazard, equinn2006, Baryonyx, retinarow)
sn0wman
+2 -0
He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.
He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick.
peterjoel
+0 -0
A comment left by peterjoel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Tragic_Johnson, nutmeg)
A comment left by peterjoel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, Tragic_Johnson, nutmeg)
peterjoel
+2 -0
Also, I was amused by this note on www.selfellatio.com :
" Self sucking is an extreme solo sexual act. To self suck one must be healthy, flexible and know your body's limits. Before attempting any form of exercise especially auto-fellatio you should talk with your Doctor. "
(btw Achewood is really bad for my browser history)
Also, I was amused by this note on www.selfellatio.com :
" Self sucking is an extreme solo sexual act. To self suck one must be healthy, flexible and know your body's limits. Before attempting any form of exercise especially auto-fellatio you should talk with your Doctor. "
(btw Achewood is really bad for my browser history)
tekende
+0 -0
Yeah, that's a conversation you want to have with your doctor.
I can only imagine the doctor's reaction.
"Uh...what? Um. Oh shit there's my pager bye !"
Yeah, that's a conversation you want to have with your doctor.
I can only imagine the doctor's reaction.
"Uh...what? Um. Oh shit there's my pager bye !"
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
I now imagining Dr. Hibbard.
"heh heh heh. Never come to my office again!"
I now imagining Dr. Hibbard.
"heh heh heh. Never come to my office again!"
tekende
+0 -0
I am not familiar with this man (or perhaps woman), Dr. Hibbard.
I am not familiar with this man (or perhaps woman), Dr. Hibbard.
wittyname
+0 -0
Simpsons doctor (I think). That laughs all the time.
Simpsons doctor (I think). That laughs all the time.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
Thanks for making me feel old, guys.
Thanks for making me feel old, guys.
wulvaine
+0 -0
I would dearly love to see how House would react to this.
I would dearly love to see how House would react to this.
tekende
+0 -0
Or Dr. Cox.
"Tell you what there, I'm just gonna give you a big NO-ho-ho on that one, and I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for a prostitute, because you, buddy, need to get la-hay-hay-hay-aid."
Or Dr. Cox.
"Tell you what there, I'm just gonna give you a big NO-ho-ho on that one, and I'm gonna go ahead and write you a prescription for a prostitute, because you, buddy, need to get la-hay-hay-hay-aid."
daidai
+0 -0
Isn't that how Kennedy died?
Isn't that how Kennedy died?
lost_buoy
+0 -1
Ha! It "violated" the "terms of service!" Wink, wink - nudge, nudge! An nudge is good as a wink to a blind bat, eh, squire? Whoooaaaa!
Ha! It "violated" the "terms of service!" Wink, wink - nudge, nudge! An nudge is good as a wink to a blind bat, eh, squire? Whoooaaaa!
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Wait- now it's back? Photobucket must have some autofellatio practitioners in the I.T. department.
Wait- now it's back? Photobucket must have some autofellatio practitioners in the I.T. department.
wulvaine
+0 -0
And now it's gone again. They DO have autofellatists in their I.T. department, but they're indecisive because they suffer from multiple personality disorder.
That may sound like an affliction, but maybe one of those personalities is a supermodel named Felicia, which probably enhances autofellatio when she's the dominant persona.
Now even I'm a little confused.
And now it's gone again. They DO have autofellatists in their I.T. department, but they're indecisive because they suffer from multiple personality disorder.
That may sound like an affliction, but maybe one of those personalities is a supermodel named Felicia, which probably enhances autofellatio when she's the dominant persona.
Now even I'm a little confused.
rowboat
+20 -0
If you want me to stop fellating myself, I have a job for you.
If you want me to stop fellating myself, I have a job for you.
audhumla
+26 -2
ATENTION VERY IMPORTNAT!
THIS IS CHRIS RONSTANT WITH A MESSAGE 4 U:
if u do not repost this leter 6 times i wil shut dwn ackewood! i need u 2 do this so i can c if u r devoted enuf to my cite. if u do not do this ackewood will go offline FOREVER and phillipe will turn 6 and DIE
ATENTION VERY IMPORTNAT!
THIS IS CHRIS RONSTANT WITH A MESSAGE 4 U:
if u do not repost this leter 6 times i wil shut dwn ackewood! i need u 2 do this so i can c if u r devoted enuf to my cite. if u do not do this ackewood will go offline FOREVER and phillipe will turn 6 and DIE
ford
+1 -0
Hehe, Chris Ronstant. The replies to this one should be entertaining.
Hehe, Chris Ronstant. The replies to this one should be entertaining.
ford
+3 -0
Also, i think the mouse in your avatar actually is self-fellating.
Also, i think the mouse in your avatar actually is self-fellating.
johnmatrix
+0 -0
Ain't no mouse. He's a chinchilla.
Ain't no mouse. He's a chinchilla.
ford
+0 -0
In my defense, both of these posts were made at five in the morning.
In my defense, both of these posts were made at five in the morning.
dovey
+0 -0
It's OK Mr Hicks, you dead drug addict stand-up types lead such irregular lives.
It's OK Mr Hicks, you dead drug addict stand-up types lead such irregular lives.
ford
+0 -0
Every third reply to my comments is always a direct reference to my avatar. This would be awesome, except none of them are ever clever, or referential to a specific bit.
Also, Bill quit all the good drugs well before he died. Kept smoking though.
Every third reply to my comments is always a direct reference to my avatar. This would be awesome, except none of them are ever clever, or referential to a specific bit.
Also, Bill quit all the good drugs well before he died. Kept smoking though.
echidnaboy
+2 -0
Bill Hicks? He's not here. He's not gonna be here. Now what? Now where are we? We're here with you interrupting me again, you fucking idiot! We're here at the same point again, where you, the fucking peon masses, can once again ruin anyone who tries to do anything because you don't know how to do it on your own! That's where we're fucking at! Once again, the useless wastes of fucking flesh that has ruined everything good in this goddamn world! That's where we're at!
Bill Hicks? He's not here. He's not gonna be here. Now what? Now where are we? We're here with you interrupting me again, you fucking idiot! We're here at the same point again, where you, the fucking peon masses, can once again ruin anyone who tries to do anything because you don't know how to do it on your own! That's where we're fucking at! Once again, the useless wastes of fucking flesh that has ruined everything good in this goddamn world! That's where we're at!
dovey
+1 -0
That's because verbatim quoting Bill is about as dumb as verbatim quoting Monty Python. Or Achewood.
Do you see that Assetbar? I just fucking zinged you
That's because verbatim quoting Bill is about as dumb as verbatim quoting Monty Python. Or Achewood.
Do you see that Assetbar? I just fucking zinged you
ford
+0 -0
Taking a stroll through the archives I couldn't help but notice this post in which i had been a cock not only to strangers, but to strangers that have proven themselves to like both Achewood and Bill Hicks. I am sorry for this, dovey and other people
Taking a stroll through the archives I couldn't help but notice this post in which i had been a cock not only to strangers, but to strangers that have proven themselves to like both Achewood and Bill Hicks. I am sorry for this, dovey and other people
spinynorman
+1 -0
I have seen a chinchilla self-felate. This was after it roundly abused a stuffed animal.
I have seen a chinchilla self-felate. This was after it roundly abused a stuffed animal.
tekende
+0 -0
This is good. This is a good story about a small mammal.
This is good. This is a good story about a small mammal.
buttermoths
+3 -0
my name is chris, a beautiful man from us.. internet is a good place to meet friends or even more, right? I just want to find a mature lady for fun time here... maybe to be my sugar mommy.. i also uploaded my hot and sexy photos under the name mad_ruddy4u on SugarCupid.com..maybe you want to?
my name is chris, a beautiful man from us.. internet is a good place to meet friends or even more, right? I just want to find a mature lady for fun time here... maybe to be my sugar mommy.. i also uploaded my hot and sexy photos under the name mad_ruddy4u on SugarCupid.com..maybe you want to?
thatcrazycommie
+1 -0
Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
Try what I did. Only $10k up front.
dangelder
+0 -0
this reference is a little obscure but I am not looking to refinance my mortgage at this time.
this reference is a little obscure but I am not looking to refinance my mortgage at this time.
nutmeg
+0 -0
agreed! out of chubbies, though.
agreed! out of chubbies, though.
little_angry_plum
+0 -1
oh fuck yes yes yes yes. this is the first five in a long time. get down.
oh fuck yes yes yes yes. this is the first five in a long time. get down.
retinarow
+0 -0
A comment left by retinarow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, Thorfinn, SpinyNorman)
A comment left by retinarow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lawbot, Thorfinn, SpinyNorman)
morelaak
+0 -1
Andrew Moreland becomes:
Andretti Needlenose Pliers.
a slight tweak to the rules? the one or two word noun should be something that can be used in a Mafia-y way.
Andrew Moreland becomes:
Andretti Needlenose Pliers.
a slight tweak to the rules? the one or two word noun should be something that can be used in a Mafia-y way.
retinarow
+0 -0
Fair enough, but to be honest pretty much anything can be used in a mafia-y way.
Fair enough, but to be honest pretty much anything can be used in a mafia-y way.
chuvak
+1 -0
Petey Umbrella Gun
Petey Umbrella Gun
joestork
+2 -0
morelaak, eat a loaf of bread and go to sleep. You have class soon.
morelaak, eat a loaf of bread and go to sleep. You have class soon.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I'm Linny Chicken Wire.
Man, the rules of this game are so stringent.
I'm Linny Chicken Wire.
Man, the rules of this game are so stringent.
miku224
+0 -0
Mikey Garden Shears.
Mikey Garden Shears.
autrepoupee
+4 -0
Chellino 'da Dino' Spaghetti Dinners w/ Poisons
aaaalright!
Chellino 'da Dino' Spaghetti Dinners w/ Poisons
aaaalright!
andrew_
+0 -0
hahahaha, oh my god.
hahahaha, oh my god.
tekende
+0 -0
That is an epic name.
That is an epic name.
rowboat
+1 -0
Robino Cassette Tapes.
Robino Cassette Tapes.
baryonyx
+0 -0
Milo Meatpacking Plant.
Milo Meatpacking Plant.
loneal
+0 -0
L...Lorena Desk Lamp?
I think my Mafia name generator is broken.
L...Lorena Desk Lamp?
I think my Mafia name generator is broken.
loneal
+2 -0
That was the 100th piece of my soul that I have given to Assetbar! This is a milestone!
That was the 100th piece of my soul that I have given to Assetbar! This is a milestone!
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, I remember my 100th post like it was yesterday.
Wow.
What does fresh air taste like?
Oh, I remember my 100th post like it was yesterday.
Wow.
What does fresh air taste like?
bjorntd
+0 -0
It tastes like babies' bottoms.
It tastes like babies' bottoms.
dovey
+0 -0
You're closing in on 1000 dude. Con...congratulations?
You're closing in on 1000 dude. Con...congratulations?
rowboat
+0 -0
My job offers massive swaths of free time. I guess I feel pretty OK about the fact that I was essentially paid to make about 800 or so of those.
My job offers massive swaths of free time. I guess I feel pretty OK about the fact that I was essentially paid to make about 800 or so of those.
catgrl131
+0 -0
How do you tell how many posts you've made?
How do you tell how many posts you've made?
baryonyx
+1 -0
Click your icon. It'll take you to your public profile, where such things as total comments, chubbies recieved, and lames received are documented.
Click your icon. It'll take you to your public profile, where such things as total comments, chubbies recieved, and lames received are documented.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Thanks oodles. Please find on your person one (1) chubby.
Thanks oodles. Please find on your person one (1) chubby.
nokococo
+0 -0
Rachel is hard to make Italian. :(
Rachel is hard to make Italian. :(
tekende
+0 -0
Just make it Rach. I guess. Or, like...Toots.
Just make it Rach. I guess. Or, like...Toots.
wittyname
+0 -0
In those cases make up new, more Italian names.
In those cases make up new, more Italian names.
rienne
+0 -0
Rae
Rae
irondave
+0 -0
I advise you to go by "Lorena the Knife." SUPER scary, believe you me.
- Davey Chicken Cacciatore
I advise you to go by "Lorena the Knife." SUPER scary, believe you me.
- Davey Chicken Cacciatore
dovey
+0 -0
Davey Bass Guitar
I think I'm doing it wrong
Davey Bass Guitar
I think I'm doing it wrong
lereya
+1 -0
Les Drum Machine.
Les sounds cooler than my whole first name, promise.
Les Drum Machine.
Les sounds cooler than my whole first name, promise.
earendil
+0 -0
Earendilli Ball-peen
(Unfortunately often gets abbreviated to 'airy balls)
((You don't even want to know what the dirtier-minded mafiosi do with the "peen"))
Earendilli Ball-peen
(Unfortunately often gets abbreviated to 'airy balls)
((You don't even want to know what the dirtier-minded mafiosi do with the "peen"))
wittyname
+0 -0
Benny Brown Rice
Benny Brown Rice
nokococo
+0 -0
Rosie Markerboard? I blame class.
Rosie Markerboard? I blame class.
thorfinn
+0 -0
Joey Icepick
Joey Icepick
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Robbie Wacom Tablet. You flip on me an' I'm a-gonna do yas wit' dis here stylus. Clone stamp your ass. Knowhudimsayin'?
Robbie Wacom Tablet. You flip on me an' I'm a-gonna do yas wit' dis here stylus. Clone stamp your ass. Knowhudimsayin'?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Henri Carrier-Pigeon.
Henri Carrier-Pigeon.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Maxie Mum Cuddles
That sounds so badass. Not a variation on my real name, but:
a) My real name is to hard to Mafiaticate
b) Revealing indentities on the Interwebs is baaaaaaaad.
Maxie Mum Cuddles
That sounds so badass. Not a variation on my real name, but:
a) My real name is to hard to Mafiaticate
b) Revealing indentities on the Interwebs is baaaaaaaad.
loneal
+0 -0
I figure it is too late for me to not reveal my identity on the int0r wabs. Everything is up there and probably accessible within ten minutes of searching: address, phone number, social security number, hopes, dreams, unsavory political views. I'm 95% sure I'll die by Internet-induced stalker murder.
I figure it is too late for me to not reveal my identity on the int0r wabs. Everything is up there and probably accessible within ten minutes of searching: address, phone number, social security number, hopes, dreams, unsavory political views. I'm 95% sure I'll die by Internet-induced stalker murder.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Hmmm, could you possibly be a 20-year-old female?
Hmmm, could you possibly be a 20-year-old female?
loneal
+0 -0
Oh God, I always knew it was gonna end like this. You even know what shirt I was wearing yesterday and you made it your avatar nooooo!
Oh God, I always knew it was gonna end like this. You even know what shirt I was wearing yesterday and you made it your avatar nooooo!
catgrl131
+0 -0
Say your prayers...
Oh wait.
You're an athiest
Say your prayers...
Oh wait.
You're an athiest
tekende
+2 -0
I am in love with your misspelling of atheist. It makes it look like an adjective.
"I'm the athiest of all!"
I am in love with your misspelling of atheist. It makes it look like an adjective.
"I'm the athiest of all!"
bjorntd
+0 -0
The trouble is that I'm too lazy to actually stalk you.
The trouble is that I'm too lazy to actually stalk you.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Wait, are middle names even allowed?
Wait, are middle names even allowed?
lost_buoy
+0 -0
So, this is pronounced: "ah(n)-REE, carry-AY pish-OH(N)?"
No relation to Henri Cartier-Bresson, I take it.
So, this is pronounced: "ah(n)-REE, carry-AY pish-OH(N)?"
No relation to Henri Cartier-Bresson, I take it.
nutmeg
+0 -0
Nicky Negligence
i would not be a success as a mafia employee
Nicky Negligence
i would not be a success as a mafia employee
wittyname
+0 -0
Nicky Nailfingers sounds more bad-ass, go with that.
Nicky Nailfingers sounds more bad-ass, go with that.
slalvation
+0 -0
Is there any way to make "Starr" sound Italian?
Is there any way to make "Starr" sound Italian?
lost_buoy
+6 -0
STELLLAAAAAAAAA!
STELLLAAAAAAAAA!
sncether
+0 -0
Oh, very good.
Oh, very good.
slalvation
+0 -0
I should have thought of that... I had a teacher in elementary school who used to call me Stella.
I should have thought of that... I had a teacher in elementary school who used to call me Stella.
hbaranov
+1 -0
Simono Odd Hat?
Simono Odd Hat?
justa
+0 -0
Tina Cheese Grater
Tina Cheese Grater
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Lizzy Popsicle Sticks
Lizzy Popsicle Sticks
loneal
+0 -0
If you agree to leave the Mafia, you can upgrade your name to Lizzy Fishsicle Sticks.
If you agree to leave the Mafia, you can upgrade your name to Lizzy Fishsicle Sticks.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
I'm gonna go with Tony Whiskey Bottles.
I'm gonna go with Tony Whiskey Bottles.
breadcrab
+0 -0
Jessi The Nail
Jessi The Nail
wulvaine
+0 -0
Davey Large Duck?
I... think I'm doing it wrong.
Davey Large Duck?
I... think I'm doing it wrong.
catgrl131
+0 -0
No, alliteration is good.
No, alliteration is good.
woodjay
+0 -0
Jimmy the Snitch
Jimmy the Snitch
tekende
+0 -0
Andre TV Remotes
Andre TV Remotes
varnish
+0 -0
Phillipe had better be careful. Doesn't he know that too much water can mess you up real good?
Phillipe had better be careful. Doesn't he know that too much water can mess you up real good?
the_voice
+2 -0
I got so many friends who went that way. They got too nice. They were found midway through delivering cookies to nursing homes, all fixed grins, all "thinking of you" cards half stuffed into envelopes.
I got so many friends who went that way. They got too nice. They were found midway through delivering cookies to nursing homes, all fixed grins, all "thinking of you" cards half stuffed into envelopes.
mikeleffel2
+0 -0
FINALLY! Loved Mr. Bear's expression on the last one though this satisfies!
FINALLY! Loved Mr. Bear's expression on the last one though this satisfies!
bsidestarchild
+0 -0
Maybe that explains this.
[IMGS OFF]
Maybe that explains this.
[IMGS OFF]
nutmeg
+0 -0
ha! i like what you did here. phillipe is trying to reach out to cornelius, but he just doesn't get it.
ha! i like what you did here. phillipe is trying to reach out to cornelius, but he just doesn't get it.
tbtabby
+2 -0
Philippe will always be five...because that's the rating he always gets from me!
Philippe will always be five...because that's the rating he always gets from me!
aperson
+0 -0
Badda bing, badda boom.
Badda bing, badda boom.
neonaoneo
+0 -0
Gah, meta-chub for the wavelength that we share Mr-Tabby.
Gah, meta-chub for the wavelength that we share Mr-Tabby.
steerpike66
+1 -1
Mafia apparachiks should all be named for their specific functions: I would save mafia confusion:
"Who's a-gonna dispose of da body" ...Tony Dumper
Mafia apparachiks should all be named for their specific functions: I would save mafia confusion:
"Who's a-gonna dispose of da body" ...Tony Dumper
norrin
+2 -0
My name would be Frederico Does the Taxes.
My name would be Frederico Does the Taxes.
andrew_
+0 -0
Andre Unemployed
Andre Unemployed
breadcrab
+0 -0
Jessi the Oven? :<
Jessi the Oven? :<
catgrl131
+0 -0
Lacey Do It Yourself You Lazy Asswad
Lacey Do It Yourself You Lazy Asswad
l_c_b
+1 -0
Something like this would have made for a much better ending to the Sopranos.
Something like this would have made for a much better ending to the Sopranos.
norrin
+0 -0
Most things would have made a better ending to The Sopranos. The ending to Mad About You would have made a better ending.
Most things would have made a better ending to The Sopranos. The ending to Mad About You would have made a better ending.
tekende
+0 -0
Whoa, that is an old-school reference there. The ending to Mad About You was hella crazy. Divorce and shit? What the hell, right.
That show kinda sucked anyway so I guess it was fitting.
Whoa, that is an old-school reference there. The ending to Mad About You was hella crazy. Divorce and shit? What the hell, right.
That show kinda sucked anyway so I guess it was fitting.
rowboat
+0 -0
Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for ruining the final episode of Mad About You for me. I was finally about to get around to watching it, too.
Thanks a lot, man. Thanks for ruining the final episode of Mad About You for me. I was finally about to get around to watching it, too.
norrin
+1 -0
Does TiVo come with a time machine now?
Does TiVo come with a time machine now?
rowboat
+6 -0
My great-grandma willed a VHS tape of it to me. She told me to watch it only once I'd stopped missing her. That was gonna happen in three days.
My great-grandma willed a VHS tape of it to me. She told me to watch it only once I'd stopped missing her. That was gonna happen in three days.
spinynorman
+0 -0
...hot damn.
...hot damn.
tekende
+0 -0
I gotta say, this went to kind of a weird place.
I gotta say, this went to kind of a weird place.
hbaranov
+0 -0
If my grandma willed me a VHS, I'd blank it? I reckon, it says Mad about you on it, but she taped over the episode to reveal your sordid history. Not a chance to take, I reckon.
If my grandma willed me a VHS, I'd blank it? I reckon, it says Mad about you on it, but she taped over the episode to reveal your sordid history. Not a chance to take, I reckon.
rowboat
+0 -0
Wow. Yeah, now that I look closer at it, I see that it actually says, "MAD ABOUT YOU....being such an asshole great-grandson that you'd write that horrible punk rock song when you were sixteen about wishing I'd never given birth to your grandmother and so on."
Yeah. I think I'll blank it.
Wow. Yeah, now that I look closer at it, I see that it actually says, "MAD ABOUT YOU....being such an asshole great-grandson that you'd write that horrible punk rock song when you were sixteen about wishing I'd never given birth to your grandmother and so on."
Yeah. I think I'll blank it.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Didn't Paul Reiser get eaten by an Alien in the finale? Man, I loved that part.
Didn't Paul Reiser get eaten by an Alien in the finale? Man, I loved that part.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
There's no question that was the highlight of his career - getting us all to root for a scary alien killing machine.
There's no question that was the highlight of his career - getting us all to root for a scary alien killing machine.
echidnaboy
+2 -1
Suddenly, the phone rang.
"That will-a be my momma," said Don Cigars. "I gotta-a take-a dis."
"One thing I can say for you Mafia men," said the kid, "you're all very good to your mommies!"
They laughed, "Hahahaha!"
Then the boy said, "That reminds me, I need to phone my mommy too!"
Suddenly, the phone rang.
"That will-a be my momma," said Don Cigars. "I gotta-a take-a dis."
"One thing I can say for you Mafia men," said the kid, "you're all very good to your mommies!"
They laughed, "Hahahaha!"
Then the boy said, "That reminds me, I need to phone my mommy too!"
blastradius
+0 -0
Panel #4. Best action panel in Achewood history. Period.
Panel #4. Best action panel in Achewood history. Period.
sleshy
+1 -0
The dude was one second away from kicking him... one ...but the kid has got no mercy.
The dude was one second away from kicking him... one ...but the kid has got no mercy.
ibetso
+1 -0
Who knew that Alfred Hitchcock was the President of the Mafia?
Who knew that Alfred Hitchcock was the President of the Mafia?
buttermoths
+3 -0
Nah, that's Alfredo Cock-Hitcher.
Nah, that's Alfredo Cock-Hitcher.
telescreen
+0 -0
He got to where he is by selling us mysteries.
He got to where he is by selling us mysteries.
aperson
+6 -1
Interestingly enough, this plan for ending the mafia is lifted straight from Barack Obama's website.
If you don't believe me, you can eat a loaf of bread and go to sleep.
Interestingly enough, this plan for ending the mafia is lifted straight from Barack Obama's website.
If you don't believe me, you can eat a loaf of bread and go to sleep.
neonaoneo
+0 -0
zzzzz
zzzzz
daidai
+1 -0
A broke'd phone hand?
Johnny id gonns be one crappy repairman.
A broke'd phone hand?
Johnny id gonns be one crappy repairman.
lawbot
+2 -2
Phillippe is racist again.
Phillippe is racist again.
neonaoneo
+0 -0
Love Philippe comics.
This would make me James Lovesphilippecomics if I were a gangster in the story.
Love Philippe comics.
This would make me James Lovesphilippecomics if I were a gangster in the story.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Both Phillippe and Ray tend to vocalize their excitement when they have something to write that catches their fancy right, which I suggest is indicative that they have similar, presidential egos that are potentially of a mentor and mentee relationship.
I suggest this.
Both Phillippe and Ray tend to vocalize their excitement when they have something to write that catches their fancy right, which I suggest is indicative that they have similar, presidential egos that are potentially of a mentor and mentee relationship.
I suggest this.
nymphadoria
+0 -0
From this idea, Phillipe covertly slips Roast Beef a cold glass of water, thus making him no longer depressed and anxious. 'Thank you Philippe, how can I ever repay you?' say Roast Beef. 'Don't thank me, just thank the water.' The end
From this idea, Phillipe covertly slips Roast Beef a cold glass of water, thus making him no longer depressed and anxious. 'Thank you Philippe, how can I ever repay you?' say Roast Beef. 'Don't thank me, just thank the water.' The end
thatskotkid
+0 -0
"Oh well shucks uh thanks there water for such as ending a depression of mine !"
"Oh well shucks uh thanks there water for such as ending a depression of mine !"
morelaak
+2 -0
now i don't feel so cruddy about my life i mean seeing as i'm from low circumstances and all but that don't bother me now thanks for the cold water phillipe that stuff is real nice.
now i don't feel so cruddy about my life i mean seeing as i'm from low circumstances and all but that don't bother me now thanks for the cold water phillipe that stuff is real nice.
tekende
+0 -0
^ WINNER
^ WINNER
neonaoneo
+0 -0
I also like how Philippe stalks towards his typewriter. He thinks he is naughty and might get in trouble with the real Mafia for taking them down in his book.
I also like how Philippe stalks towards his typewriter. He thinks he is naughty and might get in trouble with the real Mafia for taking them down in his book.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I like how he exclaims in surprise and anticipation in panel 6 at a storyline that he is, at that exact moment, typing. Oh, Philippe. You'll get that Mafia good!
~Janey Finger-splints
I like how he exclaims in surprise and anticipation in panel 6 at a storyline that he is, at that exact moment, typing. Oh, Philippe. You'll get that Mafia good!
~Janey Finger-splints
dovey
+0 -0
Phillipe is a stream-of-consciousness writer
Phillipe is a stream-of-consciousness writer
spinynorman
+0 -0
He seems pretty absorbed in his story throughout the whole thing. I think he was just visualizing the characters of his story and reacting to them. Too bad he didn't know to emphasize their reactions by oblivious over-use of italics.
He seems pretty absorbed in his story throughout the whole thing. I think he was just visualizing the characters of his story and reacting to them. Too bad he didn't know to emphasize their reactions by oblivious over-use of italics.
bjorntd
+0 -0
I thought it was Mr Bear's typewriter.
I thought it was Mr Bear's typewriter.
neonaoneo
+0 -0
Ahh, that it explains it.
Damn you Bjorntd
Ahh, that it explains it.
Damn you Bjorntd
rogergs
+4 -0
The sequel features Johnny Potpourri Sachets, Mikey Submarine Sandwich Franchise, and Freddy Math Tutor.
The sequel features Johnny Potpourri Sachets, Mikey Submarine Sandwich Franchise, and Freddy Math Tutor.
tekende
+0 -0
Also Tommy Burritolingus.
Also Tommy Burritolingus.
sncether
+4 -0
No, he's in the Yakuza. That's Book III.
No, he's in the Yakuza. That's Book III.
tekende
+0 -0
Okay, so I read your comment here yesterday afternoon, and I did not really get it until this morning as I was driving to work. For no reason, it finally just clicked. Well done. Well done.
Okay, so I read your comment here yesterday afternoon, and I did not really get it until this morning as I was driving to work. For no reason, it finally just clicked. Well done. Well done.
inspectorgadget
+0 -1
I have a few "stories" that some adult wrote down for me when I was five. They were mostly rip-offs of Rescue Rangers episodes. But the narrative style is exactly how Phillippe writes and how little kids talk: all immediate past tense. Also: "AH-GHEEB!"
I have a few "stories" that some adult wrote down for me when I was five. They were mostly rip-offs of Rescue Rangers episodes. But the narrative style is exactly how Phillippe writes and how little kids talk: all immediate past tense. Also: "AH-GHEEB!"
hardelicious
+0 -0
This reminds me of some of the fiction on [url]realultimatepower.net[/url].
This reminds me of some of the fiction on [url]realultimatepower.net[/url].
kelissamunz
+0 -0
I think this works as a far more effective "strip generator" than what he posted earlier in the week.
In summary, Philippe = amusing. Go with that.
I think this works as a far more effective "strip generator" than what he posted earlier in the week.
In summary, Philippe = amusing. Go with that.
frijole
+0 -0
A
I love Phillippe. He's awesome. This is great.
But also: the alt text only works after I click on a strip to view it here, instead of on the homepage. :(
A
I love Phillippe. He's awesome. This is great.
But also: the alt text only works after I click on a strip to view it here, instead of on the homepage. :(
buttermoths
+0 -0
:( ?
Daaamn...somebody just step on a burrito at this place?
:( ?
Daaamn...somebody just step on a burrito at this place?
rowboat
+5 -0
This has been on the tip of my mind for a long, long time, but panel five finally drove something home for me.
[IMGS OFF]
I knew I'd seen him somewhere before.
This has been on the tip of my mind for a long, long time, but panel five finally drove something home for me.
[IMGS OFF]
I knew I'd seen him somewhere before.
nokococo
+0 -0
AUGH
AUGH
snowman
+0 -0
Wow. That...can't be intentional, can it?
Wow. That...can't be intentional, can it?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
terrified, i am.
terrified, i am.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Rowboat, please don't tell me this is hanging on your wall, too - like the McNugget thing. You are scaring me.
Rowboat, please don't tell me this is hanging on your wall, too - like the McNugget thing. You are scaring me.
rowboat
+2 -0
Nope. This one hangs in the deepest recesses of my psyche. He waits for me there. I live every day as if it were my last. And he waits.
Nope. This one hangs in the deepest recesses of my psyche. He waits for me there. I live every day as if it were my last. And he waits.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
I gave you a chubby just to keep it away... if only for a little while.
I gave you a chubby just to keep it away... if only for a little while.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Where is that picture from, even?
Where is that picture from, even?
rowboat
+0 -0
That's Betty Boop's friend, Koko the Clown.
That's Betty Boop's friend, Koko the Clown.
ubermensch
+0 -0
It seems that the signature drink of Philippe is still water.
It seems that the signature drink of Philippe is still water.
buttermoths
+0 -0
Or King's Piss, when he doesn't feel like being THAT nice.
Or King's Piss, when he doesn't feel like being THAT nice.
norrin
+1 -0
Philippe may crave water, but when presented with king piss, he drinks it furiously.
Philippe may crave water, but when presented with king piss, he drinks it furiously.
epicurus
+0 -0
So basically the red wine industry inadvertently causes the Mafia to exist?
So basically the red wine industry inadvertently causes the Mafia to exist?
earendil
+3 -0
What do you mean, "inadvertently?"
What do you mean, "inadvertently?"
wittyname
+0 -0
Next issue: The Kid Who Takes Down The Wine Industry.
(spoiler: they end up just making grape juice. no, not water).
Next issue: The Kid Who Takes Down The Wine Industry.
(spoiler: they end up just making grape juice. no, not water).
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Jesus makes a Special Guest Appearance and does his thing but everyone gets mad at him.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"
"YOU ARE SO ARROGANT!!"
Jesus makes a Special Guest Appearance and does his thing but everyone gets mad at him.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?"
"YOU ARE SO ARROGANT!!"
wittyname
+0 -0
Implying that Phillipe does not love everything Jesus does is a sin, and you must pray.
Implying that Phillipe does not love everything Jesus does is a sin, and you must pray.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
he didn't like the Pope, so it follows...
he didn't like the Pope, so it follows...
epicurus
+0 -0
He liked him fine until the Pope started lipping about his mother's soul.
He liked him fine until the Pope started lipping about his mother's soul.
snowman
+0 -0
Oh, 5 5 5.
This might be one of my all-time favorites. There are so many great things. His actions are so well conveyed. I love Philippe hiding against the wall in panel one, his little sailor suit (!), how he actually gets worried in panel 6, his little "phew" mouth in panel 7, and perhaps most of all, I love how stern he looks when he is pouring the glass of water. "I get VERY nice on this stuff." Okay I know I will be lamed for just pointing out jokes, but I really couldn't help it, this is too great.
"Getting nice" should be a new euphimism for getting drunk.
Oh, 5 5 5.
This might be one of my all-time favorites. There are so many great things. His actions are so well conveyed. I love Philippe hiding against the wall in panel one, his little sailor suit (!), how he actually gets worried in panel 6, his little "phew" mouth in panel 7, and perhaps most of all, I love how stern he looks when he is pouring the glass of water. "I get VERY nice on this stuff." Okay I know I will be lamed for just pointing out jokes, but I really couldn't help it, this is too great.
"Getting nice" should be a new euphimism for getting drunk.
dovey
+0 -0
I thought it was anyway.
I thought it was anyway.
checkmatejones
+0 -0
Phillipe needs you to understand:
He gets very nice on this stuff.
Phillipe needs you to understand:
He gets very nice on this stuff.
danielaroo
+0 -0
I greatly enjoy the repetition in Panel 5
I greatly enjoy the repetition in Panel 5
nickgranger
+1 -0
I'm noticing a direct correlation between how much I enjoy a strip and how many instances of furrowed eyebrows it contains. Is this wrong of me? Am I that easy?
I'm noticing a direct correlation between how much I enjoy a strip and how many instances of furrowed eyebrows it contains. Is this wrong of me? Am I that easy?
tombsgrave
+1 -0
I am going to render every single character in this strip as characters for the game Spirit of the Century. Because, as a roleplaying nerd, that is how I roll: with twenty-sided, ten-sided, or plus-minus-and-null-sided dice.
I am going to render every single character in this strip as characters for the game Spirit of the Century. Because, as a roleplaying nerd, that is how I roll: with twenty-sided, ten-sided, or plus-minus-and-null-sided dice.
wulvaine
+0 -0
God, I love roleplaying. My current game of choice is Mutants and Masterminds, since I'm also a sucker for superheroes. The problem is that I can't find anyone else in my area that actually knows that roleplaying exists outside of Japanese SNES games or Oblivion.
God, I love roleplaying. My current game of choice is Mutants and Masterminds, since I'm also a sucker for superheroes. The problem is that I can't find anyone else in my area that actually knows that roleplaying exists outside of Japanese SNES games or Oblivion.
tombsgrave
+0 -0
Mutants and Masterminds kicks the ass at Damage 25.
Mutants and Masterminds kicks the ass at Damage 25.
tombsgrave
+0 -0
That should be "plus 25." The plus sign is disliked here.
That should be "plus 25." The plus sign is disliked here.
wittyname
+0 -0
I have the same problem. I know a bunch of people that roleplay, but none of us are committed to play for an extended period.
I have the same problem. I know a bunch of people that roleplay, but none of us are committed to play for an extended period.
seanbad
+0 -0
While not an ideal solution, there are Programs like OpenRPG that let you play over the internet. Some even support plugins for specific roleplaying systems. Look in the right places and it shouldn't be too hard to gather an online gaming group together.
Also, Shadowrun is tasty. Just throwing that out there.
While not an ideal solution, there are Programs like OpenRPG that let you play over the internet. Some even support plugins for specific roleplaying systems. Look in the right places and it shouldn't be too hard to gather an online gaming group together.
Also, Shadowrun is tasty. Just throwing that out there.
slalvation
+0 -0
Holy crap, guys!
Good news on my birthday!
Holy crap, guys!
Good news on my birthday!
lost_buoy
+0 -0
This means, of course, that you must buy a copy for every year that you have been alive.
This means, of course, that you must buy a copy for every year that you have been alive.
javonathan
+0 -0
Phillipe uses stereotypes to create his image of the Mafia because he doesn't know any better .
Phillipe uses stereotypes to create his image of the Mafia because he doesn't know any better .
usversusthem
+0 -0
I tend to get the nicest on some serious fruit juice. Like ideally with as many supposed fruit flavours as possible mixed in, but also no pulp. I crave that stuff hard .
I tend to get the nicest on some serious fruit juice. Like ideally with as many supposed fruit flavours as possible mixed in, but also no pulp. I crave that stuff hard .
tekende
+0 -0
Do you wink as you crave fresh glasses of it?
Do you wink as you crave fresh glasses of it?
usversusthem
+0 -0
I actually turned six about thirteen and a half years ago.
So, no.
I actually turned six about thirteen and a half years ago.
So, no.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
apple juice ftw.
alternatively, "Grovestand" Tropicana orange juice.
apple juice ftw.
alternatively, "Grovestand" Tropicana orange juice.
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, beansdooma, silver_lake, Thorfinn, NeoNaoNeo, tenthman, smugairle, shinsengumi14, Breadcrab, Wulvaine, slalvation, SPECTRE)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, beansdooma, silver_lake, Thorfinn, NeoNaoNeo, tenthman, smugairle, shinsengumi14, Breadcrab, Wulvaine, slalvation, SPECTRE)
pr0ncess
+1 -0
You have balls... and when I read this, it sort of struck home. He's kind of annoying when he's just being cute, as opposed to being tormented by one of the other characters.
Yesterday I was coming out of the ice cream shop with my best friend, saying how the kids I have been nannying annoy the shit out of me because somehow the stupid creatures don't understand that ice cream on a hot day (which they whinged and whined to have and their dumb parents bought them) will MELT if they don't eat it quickly, and they always hold it really loosely and start by eating the bottom of the cone, and then it melts all over their clothes before falling on the floor. "It's like I want to scream, 'I know you're six years old, but are you fucking retarded?'" I told my friend. Then I realised I was surrounded by little kids all gaping at us.
Kids stopped being adorable and cute a while back. I'm dry and bitter now. Give me Teodor, Roast Beef or Cornelius Bear. As I said, Phillippe can come to the party as long as it's for the amusement of an evil squirrel or something.
You have balls... and when I read this, it sort of struck home. He's kind of annoying when he's just being cute, as opposed to being tormented by one of the other characters.
Yesterday I was coming out of the ice cream shop with my best friend, saying how the kids I have been nannying annoy the shit out of me because somehow the stupid creatures don't understand that ice cream on a hot day (which they whinged and whined to have and their dumb parents bought them) will MELT if they don't eat it quickly, and they always hold it really loosely and start by eating the bottom of the cone, and then it melts all over their clothes before falling on the floor. "It's like I want to scream, 'I know you're six years old, but are you fucking retarded?'" I told my friend. Then I realised I was surrounded by little kids all gaping at us.
Kids stopped being adorable and cute a while back. I'm dry and bitter now. Give me Teodor, Roast Beef or Cornelius Bear. As I said, Phillippe can come to the party as long as it's for the amusement of an evil squirrel or something.
lost_buoy
+2 -0
Wow, that is bitter. I suppose, at 6 years of age, you had a dexterity comparable to Olga Galchenko, world famous club juggler, when it came to eating ice cream on a hot summer day? Or did you just forget that you were a little sloppy just like we all were at that age? To be 6 is hell of fun. Don't make it shitty for 'em.
Wow, that is bitter. I suppose, at 6 years of age, you had a dexterity comparable to Olga Galchenko, world famous club juggler, when it came to eating ice cream on a hot summer day? Or did you just forget that you were a little sloppy just like we all were at that age? To be 6 is hell of fun. Don't make it shitty for 'em.
pr0ncess
+0 -0
I don't show my annoyance, I smile, mop the mess up and then post my hatred on the internet. I'd hate to make it shitty for them.
Also, I accidentally hit Chubby instead of reply. I don't regret it, but now you know.
I don't show my annoyance, I smile, mop the mess up and then post my hatred on the internet. I'd hate to make it shitty for them.
Also, I accidentally hit Chubby instead of reply. I don't regret it, but now you know.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't want to read about your problems with dryness. That's just gross.
I don't want to read about your problems with dryness. That's just gross.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
Mom, do you ever get that "not-so-fresh" feeling?
Mom, do you ever get that "not-so-fresh" feeling?
tekende
+0 -0
What? Oh. Oh! Oh, god. God. No.
What? Oh. Oh! Oh, god. God. No.
pr0ncess
+0 -0
Ew. I am sorry to have let that snippet of TMI through. I agree, it's gross.
Ew. I am sorry to have let that snippet of TMI through. I agree, it's gross.
wulvaine
+0 -0
You find sexual gratification in being hated, don't you?
You find sexual gratification in being hated, don't you?
nutmeg
+0 -0
you have an unusual opinion of this comic. what do you like to see from achewood? i'm interested. favorite character/arc whatever?
you have an unusual opinion of this comic. what do you like to see from achewood? i'm interested. favorite character/arc whatever?
shades
+0 -0
I think there is a legitimate level of genius and artistic merit in the blog posts of Ray, Roast Beef, and Chris. Similarly, there are arcs that are mindblowingly poignant and hilarious beyond, and i almost always stems from Onstad writing for the Ray, Beef, and Cornelius characters. I'm a big fan of this strip, but to me there's an enormous disconnect between the sophistication of the strips and arcs involving those characters, and the cutesy ones involving Phillippe, or the gross-out "dildo my coffee" Lyle bits. Naturally there are exceptions, but for the most part I know when I see Phillippe in a strip, the material isn't going to hit home for me. Granted, it wouldn't be Achewood without the full roster of characters, but if it were all Phillippe and Teodor all the time, I'd have no reason to ever read this comic.
I think there is a legitimate level of genius and artistic merit in the blog posts of Ray, Roast Beef, and Chris. Similarly, there are arcs that are mindblowingly poignant and hilarious beyond, and i almost always stems from Onstad writing for the Ray, Beef, and Cornelius characters. I'm a big fan of this strip, but to me there's an enormous disconnect between the sophistication of the strips and arcs involving those characters, and the cutesy ones involving Phillippe, or the gross-out "dildo my coffee" Lyle bits. Naturally there are exceptions, but for the most part I know when I see Phillippe in a strip, the material isn't going to hit home for me. Granted, it wouldn't be Achewood without the full roster of characters, but if it were all Phillippe and Teodor all the time, I'd have no reason to ever read this comic.
shades
+0 -0
Eh, typos. "it", not "i". it's late.
Eh, typos. "it", not "i". it's late.
slalvation
+0 -0
I really wouldn't mind if Philippe was the primary character of most strips.
I really wouldn't mind if Philippe was the primary character of most strips.
rowboat
+1 -1
OK. I've been watching closely and doing a little research. I have a theory.
(drum roll)
Shades is neonfreon .
If you have a little extra time (and I know that anyone reading this does) thumb through their sent messages and compare. Their comments and general demeanor are pretty difficult to tell apart in the end.
I could be wrong.
But I'm not.
OK. I've been watching closely and doing a little research. I have a theory.
(drum roll)
Shades is neonfreon .
If you have a little extra time (and I know that anyone reading this does) thumb through their sent messages and compare. Their comments and general demeanor are pretty difficult to tell apart in the end.
I could be wrong.
But I'm not.
loneal
+0 -0
Mr. Monk! Can I have an autograph?
Mr. Monk! Can I have an autograph?
rowboat
+0 -0
Just don't touch me.
Just don't touch me.
shades
+3 -1
I'm glad you brought this up, because I've been doing a little research myself!
(drum roll, slide whistle)
rowboat is sensitive .
So sensitive, in fact, that any negative feedback on an Achewood comic personally offends him(?) to the point of sifting through old posts to try to string together some sad little conspiracy. Certainly, it is much more likely that one person created two accounts in order to spread blasphemy, than it is that two different people might not think every strip deserves blind praise and champagne toasts.
I am not neonfreon, I'm shades. Chill with the Joseph McCarthy act. A perfunctory glance at my posting history has plenty of positive feedback mixed in the negative. The option to vote "1" is there for a reason.
I'm glad you brought this up, because I've been doing a little research myself!
(drum roll, slide whistle)
rowboat is sensitive .
So sensitive, in fact, that any negative feedback on an Achewood comic personally offends him(?) to the point of sifting through old posts to try to string together some sad little conspiracy. Certainly, it is much more likely that one person created two accounts in order to spread blasphemy, than it is that two different people might not think every strip deserves blind praise and champagne toasts.
I am not neonfreon, I'm shades. Chill with the Joseph McCarthy act. A perfunctory glance at my posting history has plenty of positive feedback mixed in the negative. The option to vote "1" is there for a reason.
tekende
+0 -1
Are you now, or have you ever been, neonfreon? I remind you, you are under oath.
Are you now, or have you ever been, neonfreon? I remind you, you are under oath.
rowboat
+1 -0
No, this is a HAPPY little conspiracy!
You know, I understand what kind of person you're talking about. I really do. But if you'd done any homework you'd have seen that I do not live up to the description. At least not often enough to warrant an accusation. The majority of my posts (including this thread, obviously) have more to do with Assetbar, itself. See, you could have easily nailed me as "The Guy Who Only Ever Talks About Other Peoples' Comments." Or, "The Guy Who Gets Drunk And Picks Little Slapping Fights With Strangers And Feels Weird About It Later." You would've had me with those.
And, if you were insinuating otherwise, I am a one account man. If I were the type to switch around, I'd have done so a long time ago. I've said some embarrassing shit here, too (like this comment, for example).
But, hey - I guess I had it coming. For what it's worth, I guess I believe that you're not who I thought you were. But I did at least succeed in getting you to submit something that would suggest that you're an adult, or at least a human being. And you used punctuation!
We helped each other! We helped each other using HATE!
No, this is a HAPPY little conspiracy!
You know, I understand what kind of person you're talking about. I really do. But if you'd done any homework you'd have seen that I do not live up to the description. At least not often enough to warrant an accusation. The majority of my posts (including this thread, obviously) have more to do with Assetbar, itself. See, you could have easily nailed me as "The Guy Who Only Ever Talks About Other Peoples' Comments." Or, "The Guy Who Gets Drunk And Picks Little Slapping Fights With Strangers And Feels Weird About It Later." You would've had me with those.
And, if you were insinuating otherwise, I am a one account man. If I were the type to switch around, I'd have done so a long time ago. I've said some embarrassing shit here, too (like this comment, for example).
But, hey - I guess I had it coming. For what it's worth, I guess I believe that you're not who I thought you were. But I did at least succeed in getting you to submit something that would suggest that you're an adult, or at least a human being. And you used punctuation!
We helped each other! We helped each other using HATE!
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, and nice use of the slide whistle, by the way.
Oh, and nice use of the slide whistle, by the way.
tenthman
+0 -0
Like a young Dashiell Hammett
Like a young Dashiell Hammett
ihatemyself
+3 -1
FUCK ALL YALL GARFIELD IS THE SHIT
FUCK ALL YALL GARFIELD IS THE SHIT
epicurus
+2 -0
If all of Assetbar could be summed up in one sentence, surely it is that one.
If all of Assetbar could be summed up in one sentence, surely it is that one.
dropkickhuie
+0 -0
A Kid is such a hardass.
A Kid is such a hardass.
chemuswitch
+0 -0
offtopic: HOLY SHIT: GREAT OUTDOOR FIGHT BOOK BY DARKHORSE COMICS
offtopic: HOLY SHIT: GREAT OUTDOOR FIGHT BOOK BY DARKHORSE COMICS
solobuttons
+0 -0
BAD
ASS
BAD
ASS
snacktaveous
+0 -1
solobuttons
+0 -0
I like how involved and determined Philippe gets when writing.
I like how involved and determined Philippe gets when writing.
whoisspain
+0 -0
Not many people know that a glass of water every day is actually why Eliot Ness was Untouchable. He was just too nice .
The rest of his squad, however, were untouchable because of a wide and intriguing array of weepy skin diseases.
Not many people know that a glass of water every day is actually why Eliot Ness was Untouchable. He was just too nice .
The rest of his squad, however, were untouchable because of a wide and intriguing array of weepy skin diseases.
woops
+0 -0
why are people developing ratings systems so down on guest strips? the xkcd one was great.
why are people developing ratings systems so down on guest strips? the xkcd one was great.
buttermoths
+0 -0
The xkcd one wasn't a guest strip here , was it? I think it was piece of a series of tributes/parodies on his own homepage.
I love the one from that guy who illustrates dreams (fuuuck I can't remember what it's called!), and the one with the glued-on eyes. Those are both 5's.
The xkcd one wasn't a guest strip here , was it? I think it was piece of a series of tributes/parodies on his own homepage.
I love the one from that guy who illustrates dreams (fuuuck I can't remember what it's called!), and the one with the glued-on eyes. Those are both 5's.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
www.slowwave.com
One of the very few other webcomics I actually read all the time... It's an amazing idea, and the ones that are funny are REALLY funny.
www.slowwave.com
One of the very few other webcomics I actually read all the time... It's an amazing idea, and the ones that are funny are REALLY funny.
lost_buoy
+0 -0
The Jeff Rowland ones seem to be the exception. His absurdist/surrealist bent seems to lend itself well to the Achewood canon.
The Jeff Rowland ones seem to be the exception. His absurdist/surrealist bent seems to lend itself well to the Achewood canon.
tekende
+0 -0
Most of the guest strips are hell of terrible, that is why.
Most of the guest strips are hell of terrible, that is why.
wulvaine
+0 -0
Most of the guest strips haven't been great, even if they came from other great artists. Even John Allison of Scary-Go-Round , who is fantastic, missed on his guest strips, and he's the author of one of the few webcomics I read outside of Achewood.
Dr. McNinja , xkcd , and Beaver and Steve are probably the only other comics I read regularly, though I've heard good things about Dinosaur Comics and one or two others.
Most of the guest strips haven't been great, even if they came from other great artists. Even John Allison of Scary-Go-Round , who is fantastic, missed on his guest strips, and he's the author of one of the few webcomics I read outside of Achewood.
Dr. McNinja , xkcd , and Beaver and Steve are probably the only other comics I read regularly, though I've heard good things about Dinosaur Comics and one or two others.
rowboat
+0 -0
The only thing I don't understand about xkcd is why the guy doesn't hire someone else to draw his comics for him. And to write them for him. And why it's called that. And why it exists.
Other than that, it's cool.
The only thing I don't understand about xkcd is why the guy doesn't hire someone else to draw his comics for him. And to write them for him. And why it's called that. And why it exists.
Other than that, it's cool.
dovey
+0 -0
Well, if you look at some of Randall Munroe's earlier stuff on xkcd (which a lot of the time are just sketches he's done in his notebook and such) that he's actually quite a good artist, which leads me to think that the stick figure thing is a deliberate artistic choice. Why he made said choice would be a question for Munroe himself, and I don't particularly care to speculate.
As to the name, I believe he had the domain name long before he started posting comics on it. He chose xkcd because he wanted a "word" that couldn't be pronounced phonetically. It's not an acronym for anything.
For the other opinions, well, i guess that's just, like, your opinion man.
Well, if you look at some of Randall Munroe's earlier stuff on xkcd (which a lot of the time are just sketches he's done in his notebook and such) that he's actually quite a good artist, which leads me to think that the stick figure thing is a deliberate artistic choice. Why he made said choice would be a question for Munroe himself, and I don't particularly care to speculate.
As to the name, I believe he had the domain name long before he started posting comics on it. He chose xkcd because he wanted a "word" that couldn't be pronounced phonetically. It's not an acronym for anything.
For the other opinions, well, i guess that's just, like, your opinion man.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, I'll have to take a look at the early stuff.
I will say that if he can actually draw and the stick figures are just an "artistic choice," it's kind of insulting.
But I'll think twice.
Well, I'll have to take a look at the early stuff.
I will say that if he can actually draw and the stick figures are just an "artistic choice," it's kind of insulting.
But I'll think twice.
snowman
+0 -0
sounds similar to Brad Neely's approach to drawing.
www.creasedcomics.com
sounds similar to Brad Neely's approach to drawing.
www.creasedcomics.com
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Has he even thought how this is going to affect American actors of italian extraction, I doubt it.
Now their going to hgave to get real jobs, and i'm not sure how Tony Sirico is going to react to selling garden furniture.
Has he even thought how this is going to affect American actors of italian extraction, I doubt it.
Now their going to hgave to get real jobs, and i'm not sure how Tony Sirico is going to react to selling garden furniture.
paradigmeyes
+0 -0
Cathy is the worst comic ever made.
I just hate Cathy
Cathy is the worst comic ever made.
I just hate Cathy
clever-nickname
+1 -0
Ray likes Cathy.
Ray likes Cathy.
kodiakclock
+0 -0
Congratulations you win 1 chubb(y/ies)!!
You may spend your cubbies in many diffrent ways such as......
Congratulations you win 1 chubb(y/ies)!!
You may spend your cubbies in many diffrent ways such as......
catgrl131
+0 -0
I remember having a cubby... in KINDERGARTEN!!!!
Whoopsie, sorry for being such as a spelling nazi, I don't know what came over me...how can I ever redeem myself?
I remember having a cubby... in KINDERGARTEN!!!!
Whoopsie, sorry for being such as a spelling nazi, I don't know what came over me...how can I ever redeem myself?
kodiakclock
+0 -0
one bottle of Christian brothers would suffice
one bottle of Christian brothers would suffice
catgrl131
+0 -0
I ain't got that kinda scratch lyin' around! Fuck off, man. >.<
I ain't got that kinda scratch lyin' around! Fuck off, man. >.<
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
You ain't got 14 bucks?
You ain't got 14 bucks?
catgrl131
+0 -1
Naw, man! Did I stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-
*Ahem*
Stutter.
Naw, man! Did I stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-st-stut-st-st-stu-stut-stu-
*Ahem*
Stutter.
sharparcher01
+0 -0
Phillipe makes John Grisholm look like Dr. Seuss
Phillipe makes John Grisholm look like Dr. Seuss
biznart
+0 -0
This was my virginal strip. It's taken me a few work days to get back through the archive to this point. Good times.
RE: Family Circus...
[IMGS OFF]
(Hopefully, I didn't FUBAR that BBCode)
This was my virginal strip. It's taken me a few work days to get back through the archive to this point. Good times.
RE: Family Circus...
[IMGS OFF]
(Hopefully, I didn't FUBAR that BBCode)
kikineko
+0 -0
I am not convince that is totally pure water that Philippe is pouring in the story.
I am not convince that is totally pure water that Philippe is pouring in the story.
serf
+0 -1
phil is full of solutions.
phil is full of solutions.
mxh
+0 -0
generally if someone slips me some water to me at a party it is because i am just way too drunk. and my gut reaction is to spill it somewhere.
generally if someone slips me some water to me at a party it is because i am just way too drunk. and my gut reaction is to spill it somewhere.
fatcat
+0 -0
Panel five is my favourite. The doubletalk makes it.
Panel five is my favourite. The doubletalk makes it.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
phillipe, they have godfathers in the mafia! its not SO bad....
phillipe, they have godfathers in the mafia! its not SO bad....
A comment left by morelaak was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, sarmatron, riotnrrd, goocifer, equinn2006, woodenteeth, atticusonline, Zem, Audhumla, whymog, veck)
A comment left by augeno13 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, The_Prophet, sinisterscrawl, dangelder, riotdejaneiro, speccer, professorhazard, waddie, Thorfinn, mcowgill, NeoNaoNeo, cmjhogan, lamelliform, headphones, dullard, ActualTaunt, TheSoulBear, jonnylatron, littlefatdog, SurelySmack, Madoushi, DrSAd, DeathwishJones, whymog)
A comment left by silver_lake was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sarmatron, Thorfinn, wittyname, al_batross, rhymesforkids, TheLoneliestMonkey, stop, radishes, whoppin, HollyBones, Shinkicka, Satyr)
A comment left by augeno13 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dangelder, waddie, Thorfinn, mcowgill, NeoNaoNeo, TheSoulBear)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, mattbeetee, Thorfinn, mcowgill, GregChant, TheLoneliestMonkey, farqussus, glue, the_dingle, Fcannon, littlefatdog)
A comment left by blueshoc12 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by even_deader, al_batross, MortisInvictus, perhapsmaybe)
A comment left by radishes was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, Yamo, Thorfinn, mike24, Jopon, vodkavonstroheim, Fcannon, littlefatdog)
I think the take away message is that your vote is equal to how well you feel at the time. I had just finished drinking a glass of water, and I gave it a 5 at 'SSSH!'.
Woah watch out guys this guy is going to get nice on all of your arses.
I love how Johnny warns Phillipe of the impending Mafia attack. Johnny rolled over real quick.
A comment left by envika was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by morelaak, Thorfinn, blastradius, MadMangosteen, UgliestSong, Fathington)
Johnny Tomorrows is making a Phone Call to Johnny Phone Calls Today. Be Nice.
AH-GHEEB! I tink youse guys is crazy!
Hmmm... I actually think its more like garfield is a medium point in children's print media. Calvin and hobbes being a high point. When I was a kid I ate that shit up, like goosebumps. If you want to read garfield as an adult and expect to be satisfied (in whatever way you are looking for), I suggest heavy, heavy drug consumption. And if you are taking that many drugs, I suggest doing something other than reading garfield. Now if you are 5, there is something about an orange cat that eats lasagna and hates mondays that hits close to home...
At least it hit close to home for me because I was fat and ate a lot. Now I'm.. still fat and still eat a lot.
fuck
Try cold water instead of the lasagna. I'd try it, except . . . I REALLY like the lasagna. (And I'm not big on Mondays.)
Man I logged in just to chubby that, chubby.
Quote:
Try https://www.lasagnacat.com/
I never understood the genius of Jim Davis until I was introduced to Lasagna Cat a few weeks ago.
Quotes? What is this devilry?
I don't like lasagna cat, but I think this is a great comic.
WHAT? How can you not like this?
It's probably got a lot to do with it not being funny, or interesting.
Feh! FEH!
I'm pretty sure Family Circus takes the cake over Garfield.
Although, the premise of almost every Family Circus is, "Ha ha ha, kids are fucking dumb." Which is a point of intersection twixt my own opinions and those of Family Circus.
Family Circus just might be the worst comic strip in the history of comic strips. It's so dumb that nothing it says can even be considered a joke, or comedic. It's just mind-numbingly devoid of any merit whatsoever.
"Oh my goodness look at the child mispronounce a word how precious is that "
Can't resist piling on. FC is beyond dumb. It is malevolent, mentally crippling and churchy, which was also unforgivable in B.C. It soils my eyes.
Hmmm, I just realized that I chubbied a comment that mentioned Family Circus. Now my name's probably on a list somewhere. :(
What? Oh, a death list.
...Just as planned.
I'll throw in my vote for listing Family Circus as the worst comic strip.
KEIKAKO DOORI
Family Circus is awful, no doubt, but somehow The Born Loser always manages to take the shitty comic strip cake.
Yeah, man. The Born Loser is disgusting.
OH JESUS CHRIST WHAT IS THIIIS SHIIIITTTTFUCKYOUMAN,FUCKYOU.
No man deserves what you just linked me to. I'd have rather been it had been a shock site.
Chubbied you though for the horrific enlightenment.
A comment left by envika was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, GregChant, grombly)
THIS IS THE MOST TERRIBLE THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
Why does this exist? Do the same elderly that watch a television that happens to feature talking animals and chortle (I possess guilty grandparents) also read this strip? It is abysmal. The joke almost becomes of merit in that it makes one feel like a cartoonist due to the reader's ability to predict, or more typically, out-humour the joke every time.
That's bad... but what's with all this talk of bad comics, without mentioning Hagar?
FUCKING HAGAR, MAN.
Is worst comic, read by senilest person.
A few days ago, when I had yet to find Comics Curmudgeon, I'd agree.
But this "pluggers" is a turd of human endeavor, and the humane thing to do would be to drag it into the street and shoot it.
Oh we're doing this? I don't care if I'm a year late, I nominate Wee Pals . Unintentionally offensive to the very people it tries to pander to and insipid.
Oh wow. That's...that is just awful.
Yikes. You win.
Case in point.
It wants to taste the curb! IT WANTS TO TASTE THE CURB!
That makes me physically ill. It turns my bowels to water. My left eye no longer sees as well as the right. Three fingernails just sloughed off my hand and fell to the floor.
What have you done.
Again I shall endorse The Comics Curmudgeon. It is the only cure for such horrors as these.
This scraped a 4 for me because of panel five.
It is, in general, a rather quick write-off of a staple strip for Phillipe: oddly innocuous, naive stories about "illicit" activities. There's nothing new here, and no jokes that jump out as a point of focus.
Furthermore, what's wrong with utilizing the entire scale in relation to, perhaps, Achewood itself ? Not every strip is a masterpiece. That's the expectation of a daily in any medium.
Am I allowed to interpret the scale of 1-5 as only applying to this comic? Then a rating of 1 would be just as acceptable as a rating of 5. If you use more of the scale, you can divide up all the comics to reflect your opinion more accurately. If you only use 4-5, you are basically saying 'this one is good' and 'this one is not as good'.
A 3 does not mean BAD. People who complain that a strip 'only rates 4.1' should eat a loaf of bread and go to sleep.
A whole loaf!!!!????!!?
i hope not!
End pieces and all!
Chubbies for every Krazy Kat!
THE PROFESSOR HAZARD SCALE OF ACHEWOOD RATINGS:
1 = Bad art, no emotion. Rarely used, mostly in the first twenty or thirty strips of the series. (Alternately, used on reposts despite their quality.)
2 = Generally reserved for photographic strips (baby hiatus). Also used on a strip that promises something but never delivers (the nautical tale of Molly Sanders).
3 = Average art, average emotion. Generally the "social commentary" ones get this. Also given to jokes that I feel are too highbrow, and just end up making me feel dumb.
4 = (The art score doesn't really change much from this point, because this is a copy and paste comic) Good emotion. Appreciable drama or humor. Used if I understand a joke/moment is there, but do not physically react to it. Most comics are fours.
5 = A comic is automatically fived if I laugh out loud while reading it or its alt text. Similarly, if it is a dramatic storyline, this score is given for particularly touching moments.
Today's comic garnered a five. It was looking like a four, but the last panel combined with the alt text got a laugh out of me.
You interpreted The Story of Molly Sanders as a "promise," professorhazard? I'm pretty sure it was a joke which began an ended with that one strip. Just like there was never actually going to be a strip in which Ray dramatically lamented the loss of his DAAAAAAAANG NAAAAACHOS! It was just a funny contrast between the epic and the banal. Whatever. It just seems sad that you'd drag the rating of a beautiful piece of comic art down just 'cause you missed the boat. But hey, it's your rating to use. Just don't go callin' Onstad a lier when his genius moves too quick.
Depending on who you ask, that nacho storyline was, in fact, resolved.
What about that GODDAMN CHICKEN RECIPE?
I can't account for everything, but I will go so far as to cite the time that Lie Bot predicted Teodor's death, which then came to pass on that date. Fulfilling that callback to an earlier strip set the standard for whether or not we should expect that kind of attention to detail in the future.
A comment left by fineoakstructure was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, ButterMoths, Thorfinn, killerlimpet)
Just wondering: did this get lamed because I said there "ain't much standards in Achewood?" Maybe I should've been more clear; there really ain't much in the way of standards when it comes to fictional integrity in its continuity (I didn't specify originally, I apologize). I can't believe you'd think that the instances where Onstad has "resolved" storylines should set a standard when numerous other plot resolutions have never occurred (or may wind up "unsatisfying," in a traditional sense). He even jokes on himself for this problem in the Ray Goes To Hell arch.
We all realize that Onstad has an amazing attention to detail in general, but I think that if you expect it to consitently manifest itself in plotlines and character histories, then you might be disappointed more than you'd like to be.
The trick is to absolutely not care about your lames and chubbies.
I almost do that, but my slight deviation of your formula is that I care about the Chubbies.
Wow. I can't remember the last time I misspelled a four letter word. "Liar" is what I meant up there, obviously. Thanks to everyone who thought about laming that and then didn't.
Lier - One who lies down; one who rests or remains, as in concealment.
It still kind works!
A comment left by lost_buoy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, wittyname, da_newb, synapse)
You understand that I am making fun of myself here, not my fine colleague Rowboat - if that is, indeed, for what you "conscripted lamers" are laming me.
I have a theory regarding the need to lame with abandon, and it has something to do with preadolescent exposure to tubgirl, goatse, and LOLCats. I must apply Science to proof my equations. Please stand by whilst I ring up Kiki Sanford .
My name is Rowboat, and I endorse this message.
I lamed you because I am tired of people needlessly correcting themselves. Rowboat didn't get a lame because he managed to make it sorta interesting, but yours was just annoying.
Feel free to lame me in return.
I don't know - I see that as one of the interesting things about this place. I mean, it can be taken too far, but it really does speak to the overall literacy of the regulars, here, which is refreshing. There's something to be said for that, I think. But it's your lame to give, so have at it.
Lame you in return? Come on, man.
So if Onstad uses any reference you don't get, instead of looking it up and enjoying the strip all over again, you just give it a 3 and move on?
It is my opinion that the rating system should stand as a barometer for how the common man takes the comic at face value, regardless of whether or not I then go on to learn about the subject at hand.
The common man? Fuck him, this is Achewood, he is not why we're here. Or perhaps he is, in his absence. Anyway, the path of self-improvement possibly lies in the attitude that my lack of knowledge is my problem and not Onstad's. Nice to have kinds of barometers though.
Chubby for the comment AND for Simon (fucking) Amstell! Lo, if only I had two chubs to give...
I rate based on how much I liked the comic, not on how High Quality I think it is. So if I didn't get it, I didn't like it much, yeah?
I believe Beef's face to be an accurate indicator of each rating. For the record, I don't think I've ever rated below a 3.
1: Beef is sad. The comic left me feeling worse than before I read it.
2: Beef is disappointed. The comic does not hold up to the Achewood standard.
3: Beef is expressionless. The comic was unmoving.
4: Beef is smirking. The comic was funny, but not great.
5: Beef is laughing. The comic was exemplary, and reaches a level all other comics aspire for.
I think our rating gauges are more or less in tune with each other.
Upon closer examination, yes. Yours just has more self-actualization in identifying what about the comic makes you emote as such. A reflective chubby to your original, sir.
Well, since people are doing this, I'll throw in my two cents with a different spin.
1 - Most guest strips and all reruns.
2 - Some of the early stuff and some of the picture "vacation" strips (unless the text was great, which it was, occasionally).
3 - A strip which had promise but somehow failed to deliver.
4 - The average rating. I'd say 70% of all strips are rated four by me. And by "average" I mean average by Achewood standards only, as even an "average" Achewood is far better than any other contemporary humor comic of which I am aware.
5 - A strip which has stitched itself into the fabric of my consciousness. One which sleeps behind my eyes. One which I often remember at odd times and which I would like to have show up on my profile so as to be quickly tracked down.
That's how I do it. I know you don't care.
oh shit. 5 means you like it the most? i thought 1 meant you liked it, like THIS IS NUMBER 1!!
number 1 whooo! Gold medal! USA USA USA
HA, YES.
I don't use the rating system, myself--I just read and enjoy.
Hooray. Either do I. We do comment though... so we don't just read.
I don't comment, eith- aw, man...
I would by no means act nice if someone slipped me some water at a party. That would be extremely irritating.
I get nice on Maker's Mark. And I EXPECT Maker's Mark. If I get red wine instead, yes I get grouchy.
This is a good ratings system. It is a respectable ratings system, that a man could use.
so does that mean you went back and retroactively awarded the molly sanders story a 2 after you decided too much time had passed? and that you will also return to give it a 3 should it ever be fulfilled?
but thanks for validating the 3 i gave this one.
Well, originally I read the entire series without rating anything. Then I got an Acheworld account and read the entire series again, and rated some that I liked. Then I decided I should really do my part, and read the entire series again and rated every strip.
You have just described my experience word for word. Although, for it to be a real mirror image of myself, you would've had to have ended with "and now I don't anything else."
Too many mistakes today. Getting lazy. Getting stupid.
"and now I don't do anything else."
I do things.
If you do anything else, you're not a true fan.
That's okay. Maybe it's not that great to be a true fan.
I'm starting to wonder if you understand that none of the posts I've made in this thread were meant to be taken seriously. Except for the part about my being lazy and stupid, or course.
Well, if you find yourself really getting into the swing of wondering, let me know.
My wondering days are over.
I find that I'm apparently far too easily entertained. Very, very few strips fall below the 4 mark for me.
It... makes me feel a little cheap, honestly...
I gave today's a five because I laughed at several points throughout the strip, Johnny Phone Calls being my favorite. Also, it occurs to me that every kid should be given a typewriter. They're noisy, visually impressive, creative outlets. Kids who want to be president usually also have a typewriter. I have no facts to back this up, but somehow, I just know it to be true.
(Also, I'm b-b-b-bandwagon-ing the Krazy Kat. I shall accept lames on this basis but please take into account the awsomeness of Offisa Pup before doing so.)
Is it a bandwagon? I hadn't noticed.
The games they play, them two!
I agree. I don't interpret the ratings as being "achewood versus print media;" I interpret them as being "this achewood as opposed to other achewods."
That said, I realize that most of Acheworld thinks of the rating system as "achewood versus print media" and I don't like to impose my views on them, so I generally only rate strips I think are deserving of a four or five, and leave Acheworld to its own devices on the rest.
"achewod"...led me to the perfect name for Achewood fans: Achewads. Kind of like a fuckwad
They should take away all the buttons and replace it with one called Circle Jerk. Put a counter on that sucker and you guys would click it all day.
Twisted mind, withered brain. You know I'm going insane. I just tell him to get back, when Sortelli tells me how to act.
I've got Acheworld up my ass.
They have a balm for that, I think.
That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard (I mean, you know, besides a bunch of other idiotic things). The whole point of this rating system is to differentiate between how good the different strips are. Can you understand the concept of a low ceiling? Are you honestly saying that this strip right here is every bit as good as "Until You are So Nude" or "The Dick Molecule"? Those strips made me laugh harder than "What are you in for Nice Pete", which made me laugh harder than this one. I don't think I've rated any strip 1, and I think I've only pushed 2 for a couple of guest strips and ones where there was only character development and nothing else, but demanding that there be only two options makes you an undiscriminating jackass. Don't force it on everyone else.
Regarding this particular strip, I never found the Philippe-centered strips that funny, unless he is being lied to or something bad is happening to him. Yea it's cute, but it's not FUNNY. If I wanted this kind of crap, I'd go back to my old job and listen to the lady in the next cubicle gush about her kids.
"...omg an opinion I disagree with, LAME! I'm so cool."
I am having trouble discerning exactly what this is a reply to.
Why, it's elementary, just measure the distance from the left side of the screen to my comment, then scroll up about 20 screens... god, I love assetbar. Anyway, it's a reply to the guy who demanded that we get rid of ratings 1-3. Silver_lake I believe.
actually, I'm laming you because the tone of your post is prickish, although I agree with the content.
...now i feel like i overreacted.
but still, i made a statement...
very well.
HERE ARE YOUR LICKS SAH.
[IMGS OFF]
so... cute...
cute death
Which is inherently similar to heat death.
You slowly explode over a period of billions of years?
But pales in comparison to fan death
Fan death is so ridiculous I'm sort of surprised Onstad hasn't done a comic yet wherein Roast Beef either subscribes to or ridicules the belief.
It takes a big ol' fan to do much more than nip off a fingertip. That would be so gruesome.
You misunderestimate fan death. Fan death is the belief (held almost solely in Korea) that leaving an electric fan on in a room for an extended period of time (like when you sleep) will suffocate you. Many fans sold there have timers that will turn off after a set amount of time.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death
It seems like Koreans have enough to be afraid of without burdening themselves with this.
Or better yet, DIES FROM FAN DEATH. Beef hasn't died in ages. Nobody has (except Nolan, maybe). We have lost our connection to the apartment complex that was Heaven and the wasteland that was Hell.
INCREDIBLE CUTE DEATH
Come on now 6 lames for saying it was okay? You take okay as an insult? You lame police are going too far.
Lame police are looking through my outbox
Lame police are talking to my niece
Lame police will lame a furry avatar-fox
Commenter, Cancel Post, it's Lame police!
what will you do if they let you go home...
and the plastic's all melted and so is the chrome...
You and your... Cheap Schtick.
Oh, no.
I want you... to want... ah, you get the idea:
[IMGS OFF]
If you want to banter,
take my hand.
Or if you want to lame me down in anger,
here I stand.
I'm your spam.
Chubby for setting such a Romantic Tone.
I gotta give you credit for A) fessing up and B) explaining reasonably
George R.R. Martin is a good writer, but I think "greatest Epic Storyteller of our generation" is stretching it.
have pity. it's late and i have class tomorrow.
...or, in a different light, it's EARLY, and i have class in SIX HOURS.
I am in a similar situations. It is six AM, but at least I finished a game of thrones. I would agree that he is the greatest epic fantasy writer of the past ten years, if only because that's such a narrow category and epic fantasy hasn't exactly been a booming business.
It just depends on how short a period of time you define a generation to be.
For a short time in 1996, I was the greatest writer of a bacterial generation.
You know, I really like George R.R. Martin. I can't wait to pick up the next book so I can find out what happened to all his interesting, sympathetic characters... OH WAIT, THEY'RE ALL FUCKING DEAD.
Well thanks for ruining everything. SPOILERFACE.
That's so not true. Arya and Jon aren't dead yet
(Insert your desired punctuation at the end of previous comment.)
I decided to add my own spin on this challenge.
That is SO not true!! Arya and Jon aren't dead yet!!
I love the idea that Gravel is very emphatic about Jon and Arya. <3
If Jon dies I will consider quitting the books, but then end up still reading them anyway.
DUDE! NO!
I AM ONLY ON THE SECOND BOOK, MAN.
MAN.
Well, he's the greatest Something.
A comment left by poing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, Thorfinn, sarabria)
Hi poing. Sup man?
Oh...oh my lord...So much wrong with that comment...odder *twitch* unmerited profanity *twitch* expecting realism in a comic about "alive stuffed animals" *twitches repeatedly until the tremors dissipate* And poing? I don't know if you heard, but Philippe is- C'mon, let's hear it now!
Really? Four hours and no response? Fine, all together now- FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Poing is a member of the assetbarrio untouchables caste. Do not make eye contact, lest you reincarnate as a pokemon forum troll.
OMG U NO CUTERINAMARIOMERAN IS SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH KOOLER THAN TUFFLIKEOMGTHATPOKEMONISSOTUFF U SUCK. ANYWAY EVERY1 NOS THAT DIGIMON RULEZ ANYWAY~!
*SMACK*
SNAP OUT OF IT.
Oh...oh God...wha-what happened?