changuitotuerto
+1 -0
This shit just got real?
This shit just got real?
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
you had to ask?
you had to ask?
tifunkalicious
+4 -0
The nice thing about this comic is that the lightbulb is completely unnecessary
The nice thing about this comic is that the lightbulb is completely unnecessary
wingspan
+12 -0
I'm just surprised Whole-Foods-shopper Teodor still has wasteful incandescent ideas.
I'm just surprised Whole-Foods-shopper Teodor still has wasteful incandescent ideas.
hatstand_mcq
+5 -0
The lightbulb is made of ethically sourced isinglass, and filled with bio-luminescent fungus mulch.
The lightbulb is made of ethically sourced isinglass, and filled with bio-luminescent fungus mulch.
mirzabah
+3 -0
Is the isinglass made by eco-friendly Orcs from Isengard
Is the isinglass made by eco-friendly Orcs from Isengard
lordparadise
+25 -0
"Master Saruman, the trees' roots run strong and deep."
"Cut them ALL down. Then plant an equal number of saplings in their place."
"Master Saruman, the trees' roots run strong and deep."
"Cut them ALL down. Then plant an equal number of saplings in their place."
streever
+0 -0
obviously it would be wasteful to throw out one bulb and buy another, so he is going to use it until it burns out. Additionally, CFLs are wasteful if you don't leave them on for 15 minutes every time you turn them on, they end up burning out early. With that in mind the eco-conscious bear has made the only possible decision that his wallet can support.
obviously it would be wasteful to throw out one bulb and buy another, so he is going to use it until it burns out. Additionally, CFLs are wasteful if you don't leave them on for 15 minutes every time you turn them on, they end up burning out early. With that in mind the eco-conscious bear has made the only possible decision that his wallet can support.
wingspan
+1 -0
Wrong, sir! Internet says so:
"Myth: I should wait for all my incandescent bulbs to burn out before replacing them with low-energy fluorescents.
Reality: You'd be wasting a lot of money and energy.
Scientists Jeff Tsao and Mike Coltrin of Sandia National Laboratories calculate that you'd save money by tossing a new 60-watt incandescent and replacing it with a fluorescent."
Wrong, sir! Internet says so:
"Myth: I should wait for all my incandescent bulbs to burn out before replacing them with low-energy fluorescents.
Reality: You'd be wasting a lot of money and energy.
Scientists Jeff Tsao and Mike Coltrin of Sandia National Laboratories calculate that you'd save money by tossing a new 60-watt incandescent and replacing it with a fluorescent."
ratacattt
+1 -0
it depends on the low energy bulb you buy. As streever says, many low energy bulbs have crappy electronics which burn out pretty quickly. There is no economic incentive for the manufacturers to make the bulbs last, in fact, the opposite is true. The consumption patterns of the poor (walmart shoppers) are not geared towards the long term. The poor will pay 5000% interest on a loan, they'll "save" money buying something that has to be replaced 10x as often as a "more expensive" item which costs only 2x as much. God bless Reganomics and it's asinine assumption of constant returns to scale.
it depends on the low energy bulb you buy. As streever says, many low energy bulbs have crappy electronics which burn out pretty quickly. There is no economic incentive for the manufacturers to make the bulbs last, in fact, the opposite is true. The consumption patterns of the poor (walmart shoppers) are not geared towards the long term. The poor will pay 5000% interest on a loan, they'll "save" money buying something that has to be replaced 10x as often as a "more expensive" item which costs only 2x as much. God bless Reganomics and it's asinine assumption of constant returns to scale.
wingspan
+10 -0
No, no. I had a link to a website. That means what I said is right.
No, no. I had a link to a website. That means what I said is right.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I don't think he knows how this works. If it's enough for Wikipedia, it's enough for the common man.
I don't think he knows how this works. If it's enough for Wikipedia, it's enough for the common man.
soup_alex
+0 -0
I have chubbied this post. And my brother was trying to explain to me something about "constant returns to scale" only earlier today. Weird.
Apart from the quality of the bulb, yadda yadda, you (or Mssrs Tsao and Coltrin) have to consider the total use (e.g. time "switched on") of the bulb. Say I have an incandescent bulb, which cost me a few bob, and I go out and buy a new flourescent bulb. Have I saved any money? NO BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT TWO DAMN BULBS YOU MORON.
(although I don't doubt that flourescent bulbs are dramatically more economic/environmentally-friendly/will-help-you-score-with-chicks; I just thought that the say-so of Tsao & Coltrin contained a somewhat jarring fallacy, being not measured against some sort of scale)
I have chubbied this post. And my brother was trying to explain to me something about "constant returns to scale" only earlier today. Weird.
Apart from the quality of the bulb, yadda yadda, you (or Mssrs Tsao and Coltrin) have to consider the total use (e.g. time "switched on") of the bulb. Say I have an incandescent bulb, which cost me a few bob, and I go out and buy a new flourescent bulb. Have I saved any money? NO BECAUSE I JUST BOUGHT TWO DAMN BULBS YOU MORON.
(although I don't doubt that flourescent bulbs are dramatically more economic/environmentally-friendly/will-help-you-score-with-chicks; I just thought that the say-so of Tsao & Coltrin contained a somewhat jarring fallacy, being not measured against some sort of scale)
wingspan
+3 -0
Did you notice how my link was made of clicky-text, though?
Did you notice how my link was made of clicky-text, though?
soup_alex
+1 -0
Ooh! When I click on it, it takes me to another Internets!
Ooh! When I click on it, it takes me to another Internets!
hatstand_mcq
+1 -0
For decades the lifespan of lightbulbs was kept artifically short by a shadowy Swiss organisation called Pheobus, which was secretly run by the heads of Phillips, General Electric, and other major bulb manufacturers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebus_cartel
For decades the lifespan of lightbulbs was kept artifically short by a shadowy Swiss organisation called Pheobus, which was secretly run by the heads of Phillips, General Electric, and other major bulb manufacturers.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phoebus_cartel
granularsilica
+1 -0
You are a major bulb.
You are a major bulb.
soup_alex
+0 -0
I so wanted and expected this to be true I went right through back into total skepticism, and then back again after reading the wiki. Thank you, Mr. _McQ, for reaffirming my beliefs that large companies routinely embark upon shady and morally questionable ventures to guarantee a consistent turnover (and, why not, let's have them fighting to maintain the class system or something, too) whatever the cost.
I truly believe that most companies today have mastered the science/art of strategically scaling "planned obsolescence" into their products, the consumer technology sector being the largest bag of dicks.
...does this make me a conspiracy theorist?
I so wanted and expected this to be true I went right through back into total skepticism, and then back again after reading the wiki. Thank you, Mr. _McQ, for reaffirming my beliefs that large companies routinely embark upon shady and morally questionable ventures to guarantee a consistent turnover (and, why not, let's have them fighting to maintain the class system or something, too) whatever the cost.
I truly believe that most companies today have mastered the science/art of strategically scaling "planned obsolescence" into their products, the consumer technology sector being the largest bag of dicks.
...does this make me a conspiracy theorist?
ratacattt
+0 -0
what's more likely... that a company will produce an optimally crappy product on purpose... or that it will do so out of incompetence?
what's more likely... that a company will produce an optimally crappy product on purpose... or that it will do so out of incompetence?
soup_alex
+0 -0
Hard to say. Rich people are idiots, and large companies are owned and operated by rich people... but dumb luck must surely run dry at some point? Which would suggest to me that at least part of this "optimal crappiness" is deliberate.
Hard to say. Rich people are idiots, and large companies are owned and operated by rich people... but dumb luck must surely run dry at some point? Which would suggest to me that at least part of this "optimal crappiness" is deliberate.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Is it really a conspiracy if they openly admit it? I mean I guess you won't ever see a GE ad on TV going all 'we spent millions of dollars figuring out how to make the worst product people would still actually buy' but they like hold meetings about it and talk to their shareholders about it and there's cycles of management where that's all that changes in the company.
Is it really a conspiracy if they openly admit it? I mean I guess you won't ever see a GE ad on TV going all 'we spent millions of dollars figuring out how to make the worst product people would still actually buy' but they like hold meetings about it and talk to their shareholders about it and there's cycles of management where that's all that changes in the company.
soup_alex
+0 -0
So, I'm not a conspiracy nut? I feel better already.
...don't know about the U.S., but in the U.K., "planned obsolescence engineered into products" is apparently considered to be a breach of customer rights.
Maybe the first step is actually to poke out the eyes of the rich idiots who buy the latest versions of Windows/iPods/BluRay/etc. as soon as they become available (e.g. a few months after the release of the last version)
So, I'm not a conspiracy nut? I feel better already.
...don't know about the U.S., but in the U.K., "planned obsolescence engineered into products" is apparently considered to be a breach of customer rights.
Maybe the first step is actually to poke out the eyes of the rich idiots who buy the latest versions of Windows/iPods/BluRay/etc. as soon as they become available (e.g. a few months after the release of the last version)
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
those swiss arent as nuetral as they would have you believe...
those swiss arent as nuetral as they would have you believe...
i_love_kate
+1 -0
With evil, you know where you stand. But not these filthy neutrals.
With evil, you know where you stand. But not these filthy neutrals.
changuitotuerto
+0 -0
Yeah that was surprising to me. Onstad usually uses an exclamation point for such moments.
Yeah that was surprising to me. Onstad usually uses an exclamation point for such moments.
vreeeee
+3 -0
That security guard should spend a little less time role-playing with five-year-old tycoons and more time watching out for AL QAEEEEDAAAAA
That security guard should spend a little less time role-playing with five-year-old tycoons and more time watching out for AL QAEEEEDAAAAA
deus
+0 -0
they are COMMING!
they are COMMING!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I know I did.
I know I did.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I want to...
I want to...
carlyle
+0 -0
I'll give you a hand .
((was... was that the right word to emphasize?))
I'll give you a hand .
((was... was that the right word to emphasize?))
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Don't hit me.
Don't hit me.
emosexy
+0 -0
It seems that Teodor's neck is expiring in thought, as noted in panel 8. Poor Phillip though -- he'll never know the rich lifestyle that Michael Jackson once inhabited and cherished.
It seems that Teodor's neck is expiring in thought, as noted in panel 8. Poor Phillip though -- he'll never know the rich lifestyle that Michael Jackson once inhabited and cherished.
deadlyernest
+0 -0
Wait, his neck expires? As in, like, dies? God DAMN.
Wait, his neck expires? As in, like, dies? God DAMN.
emosexy
+0 -0
I was going more for expiring, like, perspiring. But then again, I'm the village idiot so what would I know?!
I was going more for expiring, like, perspiring. But then again, I'm the village idiot so what would I know?!
psykeres
+0 -0
I've always wondered what's going on with Philippe's mom. Is it exposition time?
I've always wondered what's going on with Philippe's mom. Is it exposition time?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yes, seems so.
Yes, seems so.
hateandwar
+0 -0
Onstad goes into it in the first non-GOF collection published by Dark Horse, the long and short of it is is that Phillippe lives with them because he could never afford a bus ticket home.
Onstad goes into it in the first non-GOF collection published by Dark Horse, the long and short of it is is that Phillippe lives with them because he could never afford a bus ticket home.
hateandwar
+0 -0
Oh piss sorry, like 10 other people already said this, I'm horrible
Oh piss sorry, like 10 other people already said this, I'm horrible
achtung
+0 -0
but you're on top, man. in less than 24 hours... no one needs to know. ;I
but you're on top, man. in less than 24 hours... no one needs to know. ;I
oldhusky
+0 -0
are you telling me that a walkaround butt costs less than a bus ticket?
are you telling me that a walkaround butt costs less than a bus ticket?
hateandwar
+0 -1
Financially, perhaps, but the spiritual cost cannot be neglected.
Financially, perhaps, but the spiritual cost cannot be neglected.
mawk
+1 -0
really, all the former requires is that the wearer be a nut.
really, all the former requires is that the wearer be a nut.
sidemeat
+0 -0
cost to benefit baby, a bus gets you there, but a walkaround butt takes you there.
cost to benefit baby, a bus gets you there, but a walkaround butt takes you there.
sje46
+0 -0
holy crap, Assetbar still exists.
holy crap, Assetbar still exists.
i_love_kate
+17 -0
We were this close to completely dissolving as a community in your absence, I promise.
We were this close to completely dissolving as a community in your absence, I promise.
woodenteeth
+3 -0
I only reassembled because of his return.
I only reassembled because of his return.
spazdor
+8 -0
I think it would be cool if members of webcomic discussion communities clicked together like voltron.
I think it would be cool if members of webcomic discussion communities clicked together like voltron.
ryder-p-moses
+5 -0
They do, but only behind closed doors at the con.
Never open that door.
They do, but only behind closed doors at the con.
Never open that door.
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
a bunch of us had a voltron activity at the holiday inn, in ft. lee, new jersey.
a bunch of us had a voltron activity at the holiday inn, in ft. lee, new jersey.
oldhusky
+0 -0
i was thinking that it would be fun if there were an achewood fest, similar to lebowskifest, but then i thought i'm not sure if i want to meet any of you people. i am not sure.
i was thinking that it would be fun if there were an achewood fest, similar to lebowskifest, but then i thought i'm not sure if i want to meet any of you people. i am not sure.
ratacattt
+3 -2
I'm always game for meeting people. I live in Chicago.
I'm always game for meeting people. I live in Chicago.
coolhandle
+4 -2
shut the fuck up
shut the fuck up
gladi8orrex
+18 -0
dont be a jerk you son of a bitch
dont be a jerk you son of a bitch
streever
+0 -0
I thought we obeyed the tenant of never being a dick to a stranger here.
I thought we obeyed the tenant of never being a dick to a stranger here.
admiralpants
+5 -0
I don't care if he does rent a room here, he can't tell me what to do.
I don't care if he does rent a room here, he can't tell me what to do.
ratacattt
+1 -0
it's like, I'm being trolled. It's unnerving to say the least.
it's like, I'm being trolled. It's unnerving to say the least.
coolhandle
+0 -0
Yeah I, uh, apologize for that. Friday's a drinkin' night for me, and I have no memory of this.
Yeah I, uh, apologize for that. Friday's a drinkin' night for me, and I have no memory of this.
ratacattt
+0 -0
it could have been Chinese hackers.
but I suspect you are a TOUAMB sock puppy...
it could have been Chinese hackers.
but I suspect you are a TOUAMB sock puppy...
mockereo
+0 -0
okay so i'm behind again on the acronyms. Just when i got caught up with AIU... Who is TOUAMB?
okay so i'm behind again on the acronyms. Just when i got caught up with AIU... Who is TOUAMB?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The Official Unofficial Achewood Message Board.
Asherdan is there, that's all you need to know.
The Official Unofficial Achewood Message Board.
Asherdan is there, that's all you need to know.
a1readyinuse
+0 -0
Don't be so egotistical.
Don't be so egotistical.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Is it really trolling if you announce you're trolling? That's, like, stealing something but getting permission first.
Is it really trolling if you announce you're trolling? That's, like, stealing something but getting permission first.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Announced or furtive, it's still trolling -- by the tone and obnoxiousness, if nothing else.
Announced or furtive, it's still trolling -- by the tone and obnoxiousness, if nothing else.
misteralways
+4 -0
Man imagine if that went down and there was this guy and he was all eloquent and friendly and everyone would love him because he's a cool dude but nobody thinks to ask his name 'till just before he leaves, and he just winks and smiles and says "Gladiorrex".
I think it'd be cool.
Man imagine if that went down and there was this guy and he was all eloquent and friendly and everyone would love him because he's a cool dude but nobody thinks to ask his name 'till just before he leaves, and he just winks and smiles and says "Gladiorrex".
I think it'd be cool.
dusty
+4 -0
He probably is a clever guy in real life. Asherdan I would Imagine is probably kind of like an even sadder version of Michael Scott, without the accidental humor.
He probably is a clever guy in real life. Asherdan I would Imagine is probably kind of like an even sadder version of Michael Scott, without the accidental humor.
mawk
+1 -0
I imagine gladi8orrex as a middle-aged yet charismatic fellow, well-dressed, and in such a way that his greying hair and weathered skin are not a sign of decay, but of wisdom .
he writes all his posts sitting on a beach, or else in his elegant study, chewing thoughtfully on the end of a fine mahogany pipe. it's true!
I imagine gladi8orrex as a middle-aged yet charismatic fellow, well-dressed, and in such a way that his greying hair and weathered skin are not a sign of decay, but of wisdom .
he writes all his posts sitting on a beach, or else in his elegant study, chewing thoughtfully on the end of a fine mahogany pipe. it's true!
mawk
+0 -0
basically, gladi8orrex is present-day Pierce Brosnan.
basically, gladi8orrex is present-day Pierce Brosnan.
dusty
+0 -0
Don't look to the past, he's a present day guy from the future.
Don't look to the past, he's a present day guy from the future.
mawk
+2 -0
it'd be two days of us all trying to one-up each other with funny statements, while onlookers respond with mute nods or grunts of disapproval. perplexingly, everyone arrives wearing expensive glasses and a thong.
it'd be two days of us all trying to one-up each other with funny statements, while onlookers respond with mute nods or grunts of disapproval. perplexingly, everyone arrives wearing expensive glasses and a thong.
wiliamthepleasr
+0 -0
Not everyone wants to cosplay Ray. I will be attending in a pork pie hat and no leather.
Not everyone wants to cosplay Ray. I will be attending in a pork pie hat and no leather.
mawk
+1 -0
everybody wants to be a cat,
'cause a cat's the only cat
who wears the world as a hat
everybody wants to be a cat,
'cause a cat's the only cat
who wears the world as a hat
gladi8orrex
+18 -0
worse words in verse
i have never heard
you rhymed cat with cat
and then a hat?
channelin' Dr seuss--
is obtuse,
try a new approach,
an original angle
instead of pluckin' lines
(from books) 4 u 2 mangle
many more ups, much more respects
when you cre8 and write ur own texts
new n fresh--from the womb of ya mind
a more pleasing experiece: u cannit find
so get to work n takes ya notes,
read wat other poet has wrote(s)
n take n they mastery of poetry,
tho teh verse be rythmic n crisp
never say of their skill
"i lack this"
merely pick up a pen
and practice
worse words in verse
i have never heard
you rhymed cat with cat
and then a hat?
channelin' Dr seuss--
is obtuse,
try a new approach,
an original angle
instead of pluckin' lines
(from books) 4 u 2 mangle
many more ups, much more respects
when you cre8 and write ur own texts
new n fresh--from the womb of ya mind
a more pleasing experiece: u cannit find
so get to work n takes ya notes,
read wat other poet has wrote(s)
n take n they mastery of poetry,
tho teh verse be rythmic n crisp
never say of their skill
"i lack this"
merely pick up a pen
and practice
ratacattt
+0 -0
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jetbunny, usversusthem, miaou)
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jetbunny, usversusthem, miaou)
gladi8orrex
+6 -0
its jus ur accent bro if i could RL spit it to you you'd get it NP
its jus ur accent bro if i could RL spit it to you you'd get it NP
earendil
+0 -0
fool.
fool.
ratacattt
+0 -0
pity
pity
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
tha
tha
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Praxis? Sort of. Call it a slant rhyme.
Praxis? Sort of. Call it a slant rhyme.
crom
+0 -0
Cactus. Prophylaxis if you're really stretching.
Cactus. Prophylaxis if you're really stretching.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Anaphalaxis if you're really dying.
Anaphalaxis if you're really dying.
streever
+0 -0
that was 6 stars, what are you even thinking
seriously man
that was 6 stars, what are you even thinking
seriously man
mawk
+0 -0
I understand your troubles regatding cats and the hats thereof but it is simply out of my hands. Georges Bizet has left me high and dry, with liability I don't deserve.
I understand your troubles regatding cats and the hats thereof but it is simply out of my hands. Georges Bizet has left me high and dry, with liability I don't deserve.
streever
+0 -0
damn son, you a player
damn son, you a player
plummet
+0 -0
mad chubs
mad chubs
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
Dear Assetbar user: oldhusky is not yet sure if he wants to meet you. Please remain calm and await further information.
Dear Assetbar user: oldhusky is not yet sure if he wants to meet you. Please remain calm and await further information.
mensch
+0 -0
Quote:
You'll be disappointed to find that there's only six of us besides you.
Quote:
i thought i'm not sure if i want to meet any of you people.
You'll be disappointed to find that there's only six of us besides you.
soup_alex
+0 -0
And two of them are me. 8|
And two of them are me. 8|
farqussus
+1 -0
It would be a giant wicker man of self loathing
It would be a giant wicker man of self loathing
soup_alex
+2 -0
solipsism woo
solipsism woo
westquote
+18 -0
John Woo's nickname back when he still listened to the Cure.
John Woo's nickname back when he still listened to the Cure.
granularsilica
+1 -0
Holy crap, sje46 still exists!
Holy crap, sje46 still exists!
mensch
+0 -0
a sje46 exists --like Frankenstein in Death Race 2000.
a sje46 exists --like Frankenstein in Death Race 2000.
fady
+0 -0
...
Phillipe can finally get shipped back home.
Oh god.
This. This. Teodor wants to be happy. But he can't. Because then, Phillipe will be gone.
...
Phillipe can finally get shipped back home.
Oh god.
This. This. Teodor wants to be happy. But he can't. Because then, Phillipe will be gone.
gumfish
+36 -0
Maybe they can finally get to read that drum machine manual.
Maybe they can finally get to read that drum machine manual.
salvar
+0 -0
Is this the beginning of the end for Achewood?
Is this the beginning of the end for Achewood?
srmeowmeow
+0 -1
maybe this
maybe this
retro
+0 -0
that was my first terrified thought...
that was my first terrified thought...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Meh. I've given up figuring exactly when it'll die. I was here for the best of it.
And maybe,
just maybe,
that's enough.
Meh. I've given up figuring exactly when it'll die. I was here for the best of it.
And maybe,
just maybe,
that's enough.
morbo
+0 -0
Yeah right. You see those sideways glances yojimbo is throwin at T? He's totally gonna fuck this plan up.
Yeah right. You see those sideways glances yojimbo is throwin at T? He's totally gonna fuck this plan up.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
What's Philippe's Paypal password?
Some variation of Huggggs.
Poor little guy.
What's Philippe's Paypal password?
Some variation of Huggggs.
Poor little guy.
stereo
+0 -0
Quite the opposite - it is the end of the beginning.
Quite the opposite - it is the end of the beginning.
carlyle
+0 -0
AND NOW ON THE THE MIDDLE
AND NOW ON THE THE MIDDLE
mattylite
+0 -0
Sometimes it is hard to tell where the end of the beginning ends and where the beginning of the middle begins.
Sometimes it is hard to tell where the end of the beginning ends and where the beginning of the middle begins.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
And I'm stuck in the middle with you.
And I'm stuck in the middle with you.
mensch
+2 -0
You'd be mad, son, not to lend an ear for that song.
You'd be mad, son, not to lend an ear for that song.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
better than being stuck in the middle of him. amirite?
better than being stuck in the middle of him. amirite?
mattylite
+0 -0
Hey, it ain't so bad in there, I don't chew my food that good and drink plenty of liquor...
Hey, it ain't so bad in there, I don't chew my food that good and drink plenty of liquor...
1000hz
+0 -0
*EMPHASIS*
*EMPHASIS*
wingspan
+10 -0
NOW SAY WE HAVE TO GUARD THE MAYOR!!
NOW SAY WE HAVE TO GUARD THE MAYOR!!
srikamaraja
+1 -0
SPRAY HOT BLOODY FAT ON THE MAYOR!
SPRAY HOT BLOODY FAT ON THE MAYOR!
xenoterranos
+4 -0
SPAY A FAT BLOODY TWAT ON THE MAYOR.
i... im so fucking sorry guys
SPAY A FAT BLOODY TWAT ON THE MAYOR.
i... im so fucking sorry guys
erk070
+0 -0
I couldn't decide whether to lame or chubby this...
I couldn't decide whether to lame or chubby this...
lateadopter
+0 -0
Wait, he couldn't go home because of a (money) problem? Did we know this before now?
Wait, he couldn't go home because of a (money) problem? Did we know this before now?
fineoakstructure
+3 -0
The Worst Song on Ugliest Guitar book (uh, the Dark Horse one, that is) has "origin stories" for the characters that live in the Onstad house (Philippe, Teodor, Lyle and Cornelius).
That is, they tell the stories of how they came to live in the house. The basic gist of Philippe's store is that his mom accidentally shipped him to America in some kind of eBay transaction, and Philippe/his mom didn't have the money to get him back, so it was agreed upon that the Onstad's would take care of him (Mrs. Onstad comes to adore the little otter almost immediately).
The real question is when do we start seeing people question whether this is the beginning of the end of Achewood?
That's always good for a laugh.
The Worst Song on Ugliest Guitar book (uh, the Dark Horse one, that is) has "origin stories" for the characters that live in the Onstad house (Philippe, Teodor, Lyle and Cornelius).
That is, they tell the stories of how they came to live in the house. The basic gist of Philippe's store is that his mom accidentally shipped him to America in some kind of eBay transaction, and Philippe/his mom didn't have the money to get him back, so it was agreed upon that the Onstad's would take care of him (Mrs. Onstad comes to adore the little otter almost immediately).
The real question is when do we start seeing people question whether this is the beginning of the end of Achewood?
That's always good for a laugh.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
It's the end tiiiiiiiiimes!
It's the end tiiiiiiiiimes!
vegasrebel29
+9 -0
Two things:
1. Man if that's the case Mother Philippe really got screwed on shipping.
2. Fuck you. No, really. Every irregular Achewood update fills me with a glee not unlike that which fills a child on Christmas morning, and one day an act of God/Congress/Onstad will extinguish that glee forever. Of course I dread that day. So long as this generation's greatest literary achievement is sparkly whiny misogynistic vampires, there won't be any other way to play it.
Two things:
1. Man if that's the case Mother Philippe really got screwed on shipping.
2. Fuck you. No, really. Every irregular Achewood update fills me with a glee not unlike that which fills a child on Christmas morning, and one day an act of God/Congress/Onstad will extinguish that glee forever. Of course I dread that day. So long as this generation's greatest literary achievement is sparkly whiny misogynistic vampires, there won't be any other way to play it.
gormster
+0 -0
I don't think Twilight could ever be considered any kind of achievement, other than perhaps 'making a lot of money, but not as much as that jk rowling chick'
I don't think Twilight could ever be considered any kind of achievement, other than perhaps 'making a lot of money, but not as much as that jk rowling chick'
strike_reyhi
+0 -0
achieving a new low perhaps?
achieving a new low perhaps?
salvar
+0 -0
Dammit I just did that! Why you gotta steal my thunder?
Dammit I just did that! Why you gotta steal my thunder?
lateadopter
+0 -0
hausea
+1 -0
Chris Onstad, what is the saddest thing?
Chris Onstad, what is the saddest thing?
kishi
+1 -0
Go home? Noooooooooooooo!
Go home? Noooooooooooooo!
i_love_kate
+1 -0
You can't go home again!
...But you can shop there, I guess.
You can't go home again!
...But you can shop there, I guess.
vegasrebel29
+1 -0
I can't help but notice that Philippe rollplaying rent-a-cops made Teodor think of Philippe's mother... perhaps that's why he was shipped there in the first place?
THE PLOT THICKENS
I can't help but notice that Philippe rollplaying rent-a-cops made Teodor think of Philippe's mother... perhaps that's why he was shipped there in the first place?
THE PLOT THICKENS
puguglypress
+0 -0
:0
:0
gladi8orrex
+15 -0
Dip it.
zip it up
ya pants--
after a rough sex
not 'member o clubs,
groub, or sects,
i pave my own way
solo flyin',
work or play
til teh day m dyin'
not worried bout appearance
burnin' hot, lik a super nova
louder n longer--
wit more endurance
plowin' slopes
beddin' azn brides
jizz cummin out like ropes,
end over end, hand over fist
pluggin' women til they get the gist
i aint a mystery. no 2 ways abot it
im into ecstasy. so how 'bout it?
win u get a kiss from me--
u neveh gon' forget it
i make no bones 'bout makin' bones
when it comes to lovin' i pay in full
not messin round wit loans
only interest i pay is my own
so babe put down the phone
an' les have some fu(one)n.
ima fuck ya, peel ya cunt lips--
like ba NANA
crack ya butt ribs
easy, like paper
smack ya butt til it feel like a waffer
if ya white G'night but u yello hello
only slants,
get n ma pants
that basically covers everything
!!-< ^_^ >-!!
Dip it.
zip it up
ya pants--
after a rough sex
not 'member o clubs,
groub, or sects,
i pave my own way
solo flyin',
work or play
til teh day m dyin'
not worried bout appearance
burnin' hot, lik a super nova
louder n longer--
wit more endurance
plowin' slopes
beddin' azn brides
jizz cummin out like ropes,
end over end, hand over fist
pluggin' women til they get the gist
i aint a mystery. no 2 ways abot it
im into ecstasy. so how 'bout it?
win u get a kiss from me--
u neveh gon' forget it
i make no bones 'bout makin' bones
when it comes to lovin' i pay in full
not messin round wit loans
only interest i pay is my own
so babe put down the phone
an' les have some fu(one)n.
ima fuck ya, peel ya cunt lips--
like ba NANA
crack ya butt ribs
easy, like paper
smack ya butt til it feel like a waffer
if ya white G'night but u yello hello
only slants,
get n ma pants
that basically covers everything
!!-< ^_^ >-!!
puguglypress
+0 -0
I like the "make no bones about makin bones" line
I like the "make no bones about makin bones" line
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
"butt ribs"? ...the hell?!
"butt ribs"? ...the hell?!
gormster
+1 -0
they are like ribs, in your butt.
they are like ribs, in your butt.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
They are a well-known Problem in the medical community.
They are a well-known Problem in the medical community.
carlyle
+0 -0
Imagine the surprise of an inebriated man taking his love home to consummate and she has a bunch of ridges on her ass and he's all "What's this?" and she's all "It's butt ribs(ytosis)".
Just really take a moment and dedicate some energy to imaging that.
Imagine the surprise of an inebriated man taking his love home to consummate and she has a bunch of ridges on her ass and he's all "What's this?" and she's all "It's butt ribs(ytosis)".
Just really take a moment and dedicate some energy to imaging that.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
She is...a Lizard?
Hmm, how would that work?
She is...a Lizard?
Hmm, how would that work?
soup_alex
+0 -0
Ribs in your butt. Such a turn-off.
Ribs in your butt. Such a turn-off.
miku224
+0 -0
rex, I want you to know that in the beginning I did not like you. I thought you were a terrible man. But you have won me over. Your rhymes are simply too much fun.
Have this chubby. You have earned it.
rex, I want you to know that in the beginning I did not like you. I thought you were a terrible man. But you have won me over. Your rhymes are simply too much fun.
Have this chubby. You have earned it.
mockereo
+0 -0
i like when a psychadelic dancing neon dinosaur talks to a guy named rex cause i really like the dinosaur theme
i like when a psychadelic dancing neon dinosaur talks to a guy named rex cause i really like the dinosaur theme
mensch
+0 -0
I like it when an animated GIF polar bear likes it when a dancing neon dinosaur talks to a guy named rex, 'cause i really like lowbrow bullshit.
I like it when an animated GIF polar bear likes it when a dancing neon dinosaur talks to a guy named rex, 'cause i really like lowbrow bullshit.
misteralways
+0 -0
MENSCH YOU ARE BEING SNOBBY.
DON'T.
MENSCH YOU ARE BEING SNOBBY.
DON'T.
soup_alex
+0 -0
mensch has become so closely connected to Mr. Huggins that snark/snobbery/sass from that quarter pretty much slips under the radar.
...this is not to say that I think of mensch as a horrible snarky snob, really. You're alright, mensch.
MisterAlways, you are in danger of turning into a cat that stares with knowing eyes.
mensch has become so closely connected to Mr. Huggins that snark/snobbery/sass from that quarter pretty much slips under the radar.
...this is not to say that I think of mensch as a horrible snarky snob, really. You're alright, mensch.
MisterAlways, you are in danger of turning into a cat that stares with knowing eyes.
mockereo
+0 -0
i was gonna try do the same thing for you but i can't figure out what your damn picture is. Looks like a flying squirrel floating in a large beaker of antifreeze.
i was gonna try do the same thing for you but i can't figure out what your damn picture is. Looks like a flying squirrel floating in a large beaker of antifreeze.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Something like that. Not sure whether it's a flying squirrel or antifreeze, but it's definitely something floating in something in a beaker.
(It is from the cover of Bitch Magnet's Ben Hur EP)
Something like that. Not sure whether it's a flying squirrel or antifreeze, but it's definitely something floating in something in a beaker.
(It is from the cover of Bitch Magnet's Ben Hur EP)
soup_alex
+0 -0
So, think of me always as "something floating in a beaker of something"
So, think of me always as "something floating in a beaker of something"
mockereo
+1 -0
its always a weird feeling when you say something that seems just ridiculous , but you turn out to be right
its always a weird feeling when you say something that seems just ridiculous , but you turn out to be right
gormster
+0 -0
this shit is ba NANAS
this shit is ba NANAS
thegoblins
+0 -0
You're becoming better at this every day.
You're becoming better at this every day.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
thx, wanna d8? simple as dat
thx, wanna d8? simple as dat
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
[[high5]]
[[high5]]
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
ma pomes feel lik teh plumage
of a bird o paradise,
its only purpose; its only usage
to alure; to entice!
but like so often happens to,
the birds i resemble.
though the females to assemble,
tis not on my branch they perch
and leave me n'stead,
in a romantic lurch
maybe works better irl idk. chix aint woo'd like they usedta b nstead o pomes n long stares n2 eyes allabot likin same bands as them n spray on tans
ma pomes feel lik teh plumage
of a bird o paradise,
its only purpose; its only usage
to alure; to entice!
but like so often happens to,
the birds i resemble.
though the females to assemble,
tis not on my branch they perch
and leave me n'stead,
in a romantic lurch
maybe works better irl idk. chix aint woo'd like they usedta b nstead o pomes n long stares n2 eyes allabot likin same bands as them n spray on tans
thegoblins
+0 -0
They like when you share your chocolate with them too. No innuendo intended.
They like when you share your chocolate with them too. No innuendo intended.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
i'm comin' on2 you , you be comin' onto me . there def a connection. i can c dat clearly
i'm comin' on2 you , you be comin' onto me . there def a connection. i can c dat clearly
ratacattt
+1 -0
Let's see a peom with an A B B A pattern...
Let's see a peom with an A B B A pattern...
ratacattt
+1 -0
get it... that was an ABBA reference...
get it... that was an ABBA reference...
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
chuppied
chuppied
streever
+0 -0
you two would have the cutest babies
you two would have the cutest babies
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
she'll come arond dun worry i got charms in spades bro i aint even kidding
she'll come arond dun worry i got charms in spades bro i aint even kidding
ratacattt
+0 -0
nah man forget that chick this is the girl for you gladi8:
https://www.youtube.com/ischiltz I am dead serious she is hottt and she is .. well.. just look at her videos and tell me anyone couldn't be in love
ps I have it on good authority she is currently breaking up with her bf might want to move fast 'case they makes up.
nah man forget that chick this is the girl for you gladi8:
https://www.youtube.com/ischiltz I am dead serious she is hottt and she is .. well.. just look at her videos and tell me anyone couldn't be in love
ps I have it on good authority she is currently breaking up with her bf might want to move fast 'case they makes up.
ratacattt
+0 -0
https://www.youtube.com/ischiltz#p/u/13/fy8XDVoMNKE
ca alors!
https://www.youtube.com/ischiltz#p/u/13/fy8XDVoMNKE
ca alors!
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
F'n bananas bro. str8 up made a vid punching hanging plastic? inspired.
F'n bananas bro. str8 up made a vid punching hanging plastic? inspired.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
slip her linka ma twit page n 2 send a msg.
slip her linka ma twit page n 2 send a msg.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I dig your Joycean spelling of "Pomes."
Quote:
-- excerpt from Tutto è sciolto. James Joyce, Pomes Penyeach.
I dig your Joycean spelling of "Pomes."
Quote:
Why then, remembering those shy
Sweet lures, repine
When the dear love she yielded with a sigh
Was all but thine?
Sweet lures, repine
When the dear love she yielded with a sigh
Was all but thine?
-- excerpt from Tutto è sciolto. James Joyce, Pomes Penyeach.
jetbunny
+0 -0
I'm about to v-chub harder than I've ever v-chubbed before.
I'm about to v-chub harder than I've ever v-chubbed before.
goddamnstain
+0 -0
Fuck.
Fuck.
soup_alex
+2 -0
Does anyone else think that the right-most microphone in panel six looks more like something out of a Larson strip?
Oh, and that's a silly place to put a pop shield, Chris. Is this a wry comment on the fetishisation of pop shields in modern sound recording?
Does anyone else think that the right-most microphone in panel six looks more like something out of a Larson strip?
Oh, and that's a silly place to put a pop shield, Chris. Is this a wry comment on the fetishisation of pop shields in modern sound recording?
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
I don't really know what you are saying, but your audio based technological knowledge is certainly doing it for me. I like a chap who knows stuff. Well done!
I don't really know what you are saying, but your audio based technological knowledge is certainly doing it for me. I like a chap who knows stuff. Well done!
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
A quick mouseover reveals that you in fact identify as female. Sorry for assuming otherwise, though I suppose given your sobriquet it was a forgivable mistake.
I don't know why I'm writing in such an arch way. I did two eight hour shifts (different jobs) back to back today and it's set my neurons ajangle. I'd better get some damn sleep.
A quick mouseover reveals that you in fact identify as female. Sorry for assuming otherwise, though I suppose given your sobriquet it was a forgivable mistake.
I don't know why I'm writing in such an arch way. I did two eight hour shifts (different jobs) back to back today and it's set my neurons ajangle. I'd better get some damn sleep.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Actually, when giving the option of "bottom" or "top", I picked "bottom". I did not know that people who identified as "bottom" were automatically female, at least according to assetbar; thinking I might change this as not everyone has the same interpretation of "top and bottom". I can assure you, however, that you were correct in your initial assumption and I am as male as Adam.
As for useless technical knowledge, thank you! (a pop shield is something that recording engineers position between a speaker/singer and microphone in order to reduce the "popping p" (plosives) effect. They really aren't normally necessary, however, and for the most part the main aim is to pay audio manufacturers lots of money for something that a monkey could build out of some tights/pantyhose and a tennis racquet, and to present a veneer of "professionalism" to clients. Pop shields are seldom used in the context of journalism/press conference, as the speaker is usually positioned at a sufficient distance from the microphone(s), and the diaphragm(s) protected by a foam baffle.)
Rest well, _McQ. It's the weekend!
Actually, when giving the option of "bottom" or "top", I picked "bottom". I did not know that people who identified as "bottom" were automatically female, at least according to assetbar; thinking I might change this as not everyone has the same interpretation of "top and bottom". I can assure you, however, that you were correct in your initial assumption and I am as male as Adam.
As for useless technical knowledge, thank you! (a pop shield is something that recording engineers position between a speaker/singer and microphone in order to reduce the "popping p" (plosives) effect. They really aren't normally necessary, however, and for the most part the main aim is to pay audio manufacturers lots of money for something that a monkey could build out of some tights/pantyhose and a tennis racquet, and to present a veneer of "professionalism" to clients. Pop shields are seldom used in the context of journalism/press conference, as the speaker is usually positioned at a sufficient distance from the microphone(s), and the diaphragm(s) protected by a foam baffle.)
Rest well, _McQ. It's the weekend!
granularsilica
+0 -0
Monkey Tights Productions presents the premium pop shield, best in the biz -- MADE BY MONKEYS! -- only $99.99
Monkey Tights Productions presents the premium pop shield, best in the biz -- MADE BY MONKEYS! -- only $99.99
soup_alex
+1 -0
Dammit my budget monkey-made pop shields will never be able to compete with MTP
noooooooooooo
Dammit my budget monkey-made pop shields will never be able to compete with MTP
noooooooooooo
srikamaraja
+0 -0
After reading the Chick tracts she sent him, would Tacodor even consider allowing Phillippe to be raised in his mother's household, had he the wherewithal to prevent such?
After reading the Chick tracts she sent him, would Tacodor even consider allowing Phillippe to be raised in his mother's household, had he the wherewithal to prevent such?
daidai
+0 -0
I'm expecting more of a Keith Moon like fate for rich Philippe.
Definitely.
I'm expecting more of a Keith Moon like fate for rich Philippe.
Definitely.
mawk
+0 -0
what, owning a head in a jar, or being a head in a jar?
what, owning a head in a jar, or being a head in a jar?
stereo
+0 -0
Toilet bombing, more likely.
Party toilet!
Toilet bombing, more likely.
Party toilet!
mensch
+0 -0
I'm getting hungry
I'm getting hungry
crom
+4 -1
Next item on the agenda: Resolution declaring "Phillipe Smuckles-Jackson" as the creepiest creation of web comic author Chris Onstad to date. May the secretary read the resolution for the body?
"Whereas Phillipe is a five year old otter of intense cuteness and innocence.
Whereas Ray Smuckles is a hedonistic cat possessed of considerable wealth and poor health.
Whereas Michael Jackson was, in his later years, a humanoid of intense creepiness and oddity, being hideously transmogrified through science, which he did not need more of.
Be it resolved that the image of Phillipe, Ray Smuckles and Michael Jackson combined, hereafter referred to as "Phillipe Smuckles-Jackson," is entirely horrifying and wrong.
Let it further be resolved that Chris Onstad has skull-fucked his readership right through their ocular sockets with this perverse image and they do not wish to think on such matters any more, despite the fact the image will reoccur to them in their darker moments."
Does the resolution have a second?
Next item on the agenda: Resolution declaring "Phillipe Smuckles-Jackson" as the creepiest creation of web comic author Chris Onstad to date. May the secretary read the resolution for the body?
"Whereas Phillipe is a five year old otter of intense cuteness and innocence.
Whereas Ray Smuckles is a hedonistic cat possessed of considerable wealth and poor health.
Whereas Michael Jackson was, in his later years, a humanoid of intense creepiness and oddity, being hideously transmogrified through science, which he did not need more of.
Be it resolved that the image of Phillipe, Ray Smuckles and Michael Jackson combined, hereafter referred to as "Phillipe Smuckles-Jackson," is entirely horrifying and wrong.
Let it further be resolved that Chris Onstad has skull-fucked his readership right through their ocular sockets with this perverse image and they do not wish to think on such matters any more, despite the fact the image will reoccur to them in their darker moments."
Does the resolution have a second?
lordparadise
+0 -0
SOCIALIST
SOCIALIST
mawk
+0 -0
wait, wait, have you seen Zell and Cory?
wait, wait, have you seen Zell and Cory?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I mean, really seen Zell and Cory?
I mean, really seen Zell and Cory?
mawk
+0 -0
because I tell you, they sure haven't.
because I tell you, they sure haven't.
ratacattt
+0 -0
the end of achewood will feature the cats et al regressing to their stuffed animal selves. the last achewood strip will be a picture of Onstad's kid playing with them. until we head in that direction, it's not the end.
the end of achewood will feature the cats et al regressing to their stuffed animal selves. the last achewood strip will be a picture of Onstad's kid playing with them. until we head in that direction, it's not the end.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Are the cats stuffed animals too, I always kinda assumed the cats were cats
Are the cats stuffed animals too, I always kinda assumed the cats were cats
coolhandle
+3 -0
yeah that guy's retarded don't listen to him
yeah that guy's retarded don't listen to him
ratacattt
+0 -0
As he says, I might be retarded... but yeah, if the cats are real, but are stuffed, then it's definitely the end.
As he says, I might be retarded... but yeah, if the cats are real, but are stuffed, then it's definitely the end.
neonfreon
+1 -0
teodor is such a perverted bear he has thoughts about phillipe's potential fetishes
teodor is such a perverted bear he has thoughts about phillipe's potential fetishes
wiliamthepleasr
+0 -0
Plus, Teodor is getting way ahead of himself. $1.3mil doesn't turn anyone into Michael Jackson or Tiger Woods. The only attainable fantasy with that one is the best western-security guard scenario. And (without the cuss-words) that's probably exactly what Phillipe would do in a hotel room anyway.
Plus, Teodor is getting way ahead of himself. $1.3mil doesn't turn anyone into Michael Jackson or Tiger Woods. The only attainable fantasy with that one is the best western-security guard scenario. And (without the cuss-words) that's probably exactly what Phillipe would do in a hotel room anyway.
neonfreon
+0 -0
it's a worthy point but the $1 million was made in the first few minutes of sales right? i think phillipe now has unlimited, rayesque funds
it's a worthy point but the $1 million was made in the first few minutes of sales right? i think phillipe now has unlimited, rayesque funds
miku224
+0 -0
I assumed that PhilippeCo's meme-driven flurry of sales would only last so long. This is the internet, after all. Something new will undoubtedly push Philippe out of the spotlight soon enough.
I assumed that PhilippeCo's meme-driven flurry of sales would only last so long. This is the internet, after all. Something new will undoubtedly push Philippe out of the spotlight soon enough.
mawk
+0 -0
see: the three-wolf-moon shirt on Amazon.
christ, that is/was an embarrassment.
see: the three-wolf-moon shirt on Amazon.
christ, that is/was an embarrassment.
neonfreon
+0 -0
Of 9 total sales in the ~1.4~ seconds shown in this in the prior strip, 4 of the sales were in the last .31 seconds. This is just the beginning
Of 9 total sales in the ~1.4~ seconds shown in this in the prior strip, 4 of the sales were in the last .31 seconds. This is just the beginning
byronic
+2 -0
I love playing the security guard game.
the teasing patdown
the skreech of the metal detector
the authoritarian cavity search
then I take off my shoes
I love playing the security guard game.
the teasing patdown
the skreech of the metal detector
the authoritarian cavity search
then I take off my shoes
cpnglxynchos
+4 -0
And are you the winner?
And are you the winner?
carlyle
+0 -0
I don't think you understand the concept of the security guard game.
It is a game no one wins.
I don't think you understand the concept of the security guard game.
It is a game no one wins.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Is that what he told you?
Is that what he told you?
carlyle
+0 -0
None of those things sound like winning to me.
None of those things sound like winning to me.
implode
+0 -0
Speaking as a Dane, I'd like to say that I am deeply offended by the mention of Jjargabøt in this comic.
Needless to say, I might never read this comic ever again.
Speaking as a Dane, I'd like to say that I am deeply offended by the mention of Jjargabøt in this comic.
Needless to say, I might never read this comic ever again.
invidious
+0 -0
So your feelings on this comic are "Not funny, not a good strip"?
So your feelings on this comic are "Not funny, not a good strip"?
mockereo
+0 -0
i'd guess he's leaning towards "not cool, not funny, not a good strip". But i'm certainly not a Dane so have no more expertise than you
i'd guess he's leaning towards "not cool, not funny, not a good strip". But i'm certainly not a Dane so have no more expertise than you
mensch
+0 -0
Speaking as a non-Dane - if it wasn't for Niels Bohr and Soren Kierkegaard I'd say fuck the Danes. So instead I'll just say fuck YOU !
Speaking as a non-Dane - if it wasn't for Niels Bohr and Soren Kierkegaard I'd say fuck the Danes. So instead I'll just say fuck YOU !
red-barchetta
+1 -0
I demand a shirt depicting panel six. Immediately.
I demand a shirt depicting panel six. Immediately.
invidious
+1 -0
Maybe the greatest single panel in all Achewood.
Maybe the greatest single panel in all Achewood.
red-barchetta
+0 -0
A chubby for you Mr Sayle.
A chubby for you Mr Sayle.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Prediction: Mom has become some sort of [FILL IN THE BLANK]* which her son will have to pay her way out of, but then she'll see her fate take her in another direction and he'll lose touch with her and, despondent, give his riches to charity.
*Lesbian meth runner
Prediction: Mom has become some sort of [FILL IN THE BLANK]* which her son will have to pay her way out of, but then she'll see her fate take her in another direction and he'll lose touch with her and, despondent, give his riches to charity.
*Lesbian meth runner
mawk
+0 -0
I was feeling sort of lesbian meth runner the other day but then I went out with some friends and had and adventure and it was all good.
I was feeling sort of lesbian meth runner the other day but then I went out with some friends and had and adventure and it was all good.
rumblefish
+0 -0
Caring for Philippe is really the only reason Teodore has to roll out of bed and pull on his pantaloons in the morning.
He has mere hours to blow over a million dollars on drugs or some music/cooking wank in order to preserve his way of life.
Caring for Philippe is really the only reason Teodore has to roll out of bed and pull on his pantaloons in the morning.
He has mere hours to blow over a million dollars on drugs or some music/cooking wank in order to preserve his way of life.
hatstand_mcq
+0 -0
This it Teodor we are talking about. He can balls things back to the status quo in mere moments. Remember that settlement money he got from Ray's Lash of Thanatos car crash. He seems to have got through that fairly sharpish (feel free to remind me if this was dealt with in a strip I have forgotten about).
This it Teodor we are talking about. He can balls things back to the status quo in mere moments. Remember that settlement money he got from Ray's Lash of Thanatos car crash. He seems to have got through that fairly sharpish (feel free to remind me if this was dealt with in a strip I have forgotten about).
lolsworth
+0 -0
Phillippe himself was the saddest thing all along.
Phillippe himself was the saddest thing all along.
ratacattt
+1 -2
what's more sad -- ten phillippes dead in a trash can... or one phillippe dead... in ten trash cans??? ha ha ha lol lolo lol
what's more sad -- ten phillippes dead in a trash can... or one phillippe dead... in ten trash cans??? ha ha ha lol lolo lol
puguglypress
+0 -0
the saddest thing is your attempt at humor lololol jk much <3 ratacatt
the saddest thing is your attempt at humor lololol jk much <3 ratacatt
ratacattt
+0 -0
answer: the latter. In the former case, we are not as saddened because it means that we have found a way to clone phillippe. While there may be ten dead phillippes in a trash can, perahps these dead phillippeess were just prototype essays... verily, there may be an entire ARMY of tens of thousands of phillipes, all of them as healthy as one can consider a phillipe to be, running about and having sex with each other and so on. If the elevator door opens and it is completely full of phillipes, with enough room only for you to enter, it's time to take the stairs. unless you're into that sort of thing.
answer: the latter. In the former case, we are not as saddened because it means that we have found a way to clone phillippe. While there may be ten dead phillippes in a trash can, perahps these dead phillippeess were just prototype essays... verily, there may be an entire ARMY of tens of thousands of phillipes, all of them as healthy as one can consider a phillipe to be, running about and having sex with each other and so on. If the elevator door opens and it is completely full of phillipes, with enough room only for you to enter, it's time to take the stairs. unless you're into that sort of thing.
mawk
+1 -0
just thought this would be a good place to mention that my pool of available lames has been dry for months.
just thought this would be a good place to mention that my pool of available lames has been dry for months.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
here have one of mine
here have one of mine
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
Damn that would have been funny if I could lame you.
How's that work, anyway, I'm positive I didn't lame anyone else lately
Damn that would have been funny if I could lame you.
How's that work, anyway, I'm positive I didn't lame anyone else lately
ratacattt
+0 -2
it doesn't work anymore apparently. For the most part, if not exclusively, lames are earned by rating strips, which we can't do anymore. furthermore, a while back someone bestowed most people's lames upon this account:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/profile_public?b=M^592670dc5a0d61c51c0034f30e42f94f1
so most people don't have any lames left to give.
it doesn't work anymore apparently. For the most part, if not exclusively, lames are earned by rating strips, which we can't do anymore. furthermore, a while back someone bestowed most people's lames upon this account:
https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/profile_public?b=M^592670dc5a0d61c51c0034f30e42f94f1
so most people don't have any lames left to give.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
ditto
ditto
lolsworth
+0 -1
I am in general agreement as regards the fuck up-shutting of Sr. Ratacattt, but I am grateful to him for confirming that it's not just me that hasn't been able to make Beef turn blue for months.
I am in general agreement as regards the fuck up-shutting of Sr. Ratacattt, but I am grateful to him for confirming that it's not just me that hasn't been able to make Beef turn blue for months.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Yeah, Rating's been dead for years.
Yeah, Rating's been dead for years.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Hey, I've been able to rate strips within... the last couple of months or so?
Maybe it is something that comes and goes (like assetbar in general, or the wind).
Hey, I've been able to rate strips within... the last couple of months or so?
Maybe it is something that comes and goes (like assetbar in general, or the wind).
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
sorry, dogg. i gave you a lame, but it wasnt sincere. i wanted to see if i had any left. the answer is yes.
sorry, dogg. i gave you a lame, but it wasnt sincere. i wanted to see if i had any left. the answer is yes.
ryder-p-moses
+0 -0
But do you have any now ???
But do you have any now ???
greenkoolayd
+0 -1
no. i frittered my last lame away for science...... [[sadface]]
no. i frittered my last lame away for science...... [[sadface]]
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
That is lame.
That is lame.
lolsworth
+0 -0
Lames are a precious, dwindling natural resource. Don't waste them.
Lames are a precious, dwindling natural resource. Don't waste them.
deus
+0 -0
Phil wont be five no longer :,(
Phil wont be five no longer :,(
gwillikers
+1 -0
Philippe as current-day Mickey Rourke is the stuff of nightmares.
Philippe as current-day Mickey Rourke is the stuff of nightmares.
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Just to clarify: The Phillipe incarnations are Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods, and...?
I just ask because the Woods bit seems a bit too topical, a little too mainstream for Onstad. Also we already saw Phil in Jackson drag just a few months ago.
Just to clarify: The Phillipe incarnations are Michael Jackson, Tiger Woods, and...?
I just ask because the Woods bit seems a bit too topical, a little too mainstream for Onstad. Also we already saw Phil in Jackson drag just a few months ago.
granularsilica
+0 -0
And how did Onstad get permission to use the Best Western logo? Is he pimping a product placement deal?
And how did Onstad get permission to use the Best Western logo? Is he pimping a product placement deal?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He don't gib shits about there cry cry face.
He don't gib shits about there cry cry face.
mawk
+0 -0
yeah. they're trying to hit the oft-overlooked "people with strange yet dull fetishes" demoraphic.
yeah. they're trying to hit the oft-overlooked "people with strange yet dull fetishes" demoraphic.
howl
+0 -0
Why is my psychiatrist in panel 5
Why is my psychiatrist in panel 5
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
How does that make you feel, howl?
How does that make you feel, howl?
badlion
+0 -0
Seems odd that Phillipe doesn't stock up on Prosciuttolax while hes' at it; the potential for abuse of that drug is significant.
Seems odd that Phillipe doesn't stock up on Prosciuttolax while hes' at it; the potential for abuse of that drug is significant.
mawk
+0 -0
so many car accidents.
so many car accidents.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
chacarron
macarron
chacarron
macarron
null
+0 -0
I have the same amount of money, for the same reason, but it is not a good thing by any means. Still, it is nice to see this sort of thing done in a "funny" way. I will print this out and tape it up at the homeless shelter before they use knives on me.
I have the same amount of money, for the same reason, but it is not a good thing by any means. Still, it is nice to see this sort of thing done in a "funny" way. I will print this out and tape it up at the homeless shelter before they use knives on me.
mawk
+0 -0
you know, rich people can say to me that it's tough to have loads of money all they like, but all it impresses on me is the thought that they need to work on their perspective. stress and temptation are nigh-irremovable elements in anyone's life, regardless of standing, and while a person of means might have more resources to turn toward self-harm than your average person, it seems naive to blame what a body does with what it has on the fact that it has it. it's a factor, yeah, but at the end of the day the money isn't the thing the Armani suits are fitted for.
but then again I have yet to become sinfully wealthy, so who knows? maybe I'm wrong and huge amounts of influence and means are bad things to have.
you know, rich people can say to me that it's tough to have loads of money all they like, but all it impresses on me is the thought that they need to work on their perspective. stress and temptation are nigh-irremovable elements in anyone's life, regardless of standing, and while a person of means might have more resources to turn toward self-harm than your average person, it seems naive to blame what a body does with what it has on the fact that it has it. it's a factor, yeah, but at the end of the day the money isn't the thing the Armani suits are fitted for.
but then again I have yet to become sinfully wealthy, so who knows? maybe I'm wrong and huge amounts of influence and means are bad things to have.
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
that's what we call one of them good problems.
like not bein' able to find pants cuz ya dick's so big it curls 'round ya thigh like a python
that's what we call one of them good problems.
like not bein' able to find pants cuz ya dick's so big it curls 'round ya thigh like a python
ratacattt
+1 -0
winning the lottery is terrible for most people
but then again just existing in the first place is terrible for most people
most people is terrible people
winning the lottery is terrible for most people
but then again just existing in the first place is terrible for most people
most people is terrible people
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
yeah, dogg, imagine if the only chick you could fit into was paris hilton.....
yeah, dogg, imagine if the only chick you could fit into was paris hilton.....
soup_alex
+0 -0
I think was just sick in my mouth.
I think was just sick in my mouth.
soup_alex
+0 -0
"All that I ask is that I be given the chance to prove it", or something.
"All that I ask is that I be given the chance to prove it", or something.
mawk
+0 -0
yes. attention affluent persons: give me your cash so that I can wreck your philosophies.
yes. attention affluent persons: give me your cash so that I can wreck your philosophies.
cryztal
+0 -0
What the Jesus Christ no. :(
What the Jesus Christ no. :(
ctrl_z
+0 -0
Panel 5: Bah!
Panel 5: Bah!
mensch
+0 -0
Panel 5 is poorly drawn -- the line of the partition makes the handle look like an epaulette on the pharmacist's outfit.
Panel 5 is poorly drawn -- the line of the partition makes the handle look like an epaulette on the pharmacist's outfit.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Many years ago I used these very words ("poorly-drawn") in a vocal (and might I say cutting) criticism of the tunnel chase sequences in Die Hard With A Vengeance , in front of my parents. They then proceeded to "laugh off" their collective "asses", for as I later found out they misheard "poorly" for "porn-y".
This whole episode embarassed me so much (why?) I have never since described anything as "poorly-drawn". Maybe I should speak to howl's psychiatrist?
Many years ago I used these very words ("poorly-drawn") in a vocal (and might I say cutting) criticism of the tunnel chase sequences in Die Hard With A Vengeance , in front of my parents. They then proceeded to "laugh off" their collective "asses", for as I later found out they misheard "poorly" for "porn-y".
This whole episode embarassed me so much (why?) I have never since described anything as "poorly-drawn". Maybe I should speak to howl's psychiatrist?
granularsilica
+0 -0
You'll have to do way better than that if you want the insanity defense to work with the jury.
You'll have to do way better than that if you want the insanity defense to work with the jury.
soup_alex
+0 -0
It's a true story. Come on, it's pretty boring, and therefore must be true.
It's a true story. Come on, it's pretty boring, and therefore must be true.
stereo
+0 -0
The one where he basically surfs on a dump truck?
The one where he basically surfs on a dump truck?
ratacattt
+0 -0
oh shit. now I remember who soup_alex is. She's some kinda religious nut.
oh shit. now I remember who soup_alex is. She's some kinda religious nut.
azairborne
+0 -0
Does panel 5 remind anyone else of old school Commodore PET graphics? Specifically, the faces from the game "bets" come to mind. Anyone want to attempt a side-by-side comparison? I would but I am a tech nincompoop.
BTW, "Commodore" will never mean the same thing to me since Achewood.
Does panel 5 remind anyone else of old school Commodore PET graphics? Specifically, the faces from the game "bets" come to mind. Anyone want to attempt a side-by-side comparison? I would but I am a tech nincompoop.
BTW, "Commodore" will never mean the same thing to me since Achewood.
mensch
+0 -0
no and no
no and no
soup_alex
+0 -0
I agree. azairborne, you are clearly off your face (although I was happy to oblige re: a comparison image before I realised that your avicon is of the same damn "Bets" faces you mention)
I agree. azairborne, you are clearly off your face (although I was happy to oblige re: a comparison image before I realised that your avicon is of the same damn "Bets" faces you mention)
mawk
+0 -0
I think we should take a moment and be thankful that no one has drawn up an ASCII Jackson-Philippe yet.
and then take another moment to curse mawk for introducing the idea to more heads.
I think we should take a moment and be thankful that no one has drawn up an ASCII Jackson-Philippe yet.
and then take another moment to curse mawk for introducing the idea to more heads.
azairborne
+0 -0
You know what is going to happen now, right? You knew when you posted part two of above. It's just a matter of time now. Of all the places on the interweb this would be the place that could happen. You want it to happen you sick little monkey!
You know what is going to happen now, right? You knew when you posted part two of above. It's just a matter of time now. Of all the places on the interweb this would be the place that could happen. You want it to happen you sick little monkey!
mawk
+0 -0
your concern, I understand it
but man why'm I reprimanded
for noticing existing things
I didn't have a hand in
the design was there to start with
I was just a conduit
would I try to stop ideas,
or let others try to do it?
and while you be all afraid
it's just potential that you made
I was just a man who saw through to it
your concern, I understand it
but man why'm I reprimanded
for noticing existing things
I didn't have a hand in
the design was there to start with
I was just a conduit
would I try to stop ideas,
or let others try to do it?
and while you be all afraid
it's just potential that you made
I was just a man who saw through to it
mawk
+0 -0
self-assessment: please mawk stop rhyming
self-assessment: please mawk stop rhyming
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
good work wit ya pome,
glad ya opened ya eyes--
to teh pierian spring
n form out dis crysalis rise
a most beautiful thing
good work wit ya pome,
glad ya opened ya eyes--
to teh pierian spring
n form out dis crysalis rise
a most beautiful thing
azairborne
+0 -0
It was the closest i could get to posting an image; all things computational rank up there with sea monsters, women, Kant, atomic physics, and cats as things I fail to understand.
It was the closest i could get to posting an image; all things computational rank up there with sea monsters, women, Kant, atomic physics, and cats as things I fail to understand.
soup_alex
+0 -0
What's not to understand about cats? The domestic cat is nature's most manipulative creature. Every mew, purr, lick and swat is calculated to bring the greatest immediate gratification.
The most successful cats in this regard (and from a cat's-eye-view, the only one that matters) are generally kittens. Older cats tend to be more jaded (reconstituted horse anus and catnip can do that to you), and generally don't seem to care if you can see through their ploys, so long as you don't pick them up too much and remember to keep dishing up the grub and the fusses.
Fuckin' cats, man.
What's not to understand about cats? The domestic cat is nature's most manipulative creature. Every mew, purr, lick and swat is calculated to bring the greatest immediate gratification.
The most successful cats in this regard (and from a cat's-eye-view, the only one that matters) are generally kittens. Older cats tend to be more jaded (reconstituted horse anus and catnip can do that to you), and generally don't seem to care if you can see through their ploys, so long as you don't pick them up too much and remember to keep dishing up the grub and the fusses.
Fuckin' cats, man.
mawk
+0 -0
basically a cat seeks attention the way tragedy seeks the Kennedys. that is it.
basically a cat seeks attention the way tragedy seeks the Kennedys. that is it.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Substitute "women" for "cats" and "young women" for "kittens" and I think you're onto something.
Substitute "women" for "cats" and "young women" for "kittens" and I think you're onto something.
azairborne
+0 -0
So everyone has comments about cats and women but nobody has anything to say about computers, Kant, and sea monsters?
Pussies...
So everyone has comments about cats and women but nobody has anything to say about computers, Kant, and sea monsters?
Pussies...
mawk
+0 -0
eventually you will realize that these things are all fundamentally linked.
eventually you will realize that these things are all fundamentally linked.
jeffspaulding
+3 -0
Quote:
Following the principal tenant of Immanuel's moral philosophy, since I wish to live in a world without sea monsters and banal talk of computers, I refrain from these indulgences.
It's not that we have nothing to say; it's just that we Kant.
Quote:
nobody has anything to say about computers, Kant, and sea monsters
Following the principal tenant of Immanuel's moral philosophy, since I wish to live in a world without sea monsters and banal talk of computers, I refrain from these indulgences.
It's not that we have nothing to say; it's just that we Kant.
soup_alex
+0 -0
And hey, you Kant always get what you want.
(I am sorry, Hedwig fans)
And hey, you Kant always get what you want.
(I am sorry, Hedwig fans)
hatstand_mcq
+2 -0
Why does John Stuart Mill?
Because Immanuel Kant.
Why does John Stuart Mill?
Because Immanuel Kant.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Okay, you're a lawyer. Tell me you're just riffing off streever and know the difference between a tenet and a tenant.
Okay, you're a lawyer. Tell me you're just riffing off streever and know the difference between a tenet and a tenant.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Did I just snark the illustrious Captain Spaulding?
Did I just snark the illustrious Captain Spaulding?
mawk
+0 -0
did you just call him Schnorer?
did you just call him Schnorer?
soup_alex
+0 -0
and Tennent's
[IMGS OFF]
(the joke is that Tennent's is a homonym of tenants, and Tennent's is a popular drink among those of no fixed abode)
and Tennent's
[IMGS OFF]
(the joke is that Tennent's is a homonym of tenants, and Tennent's is a popular drink among those of no fixed abode)
soup_alex
+0 -0
Assetbar, bane of my existence.
https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3549/3407182674_525a1f5eda.jpg
THERE.
Assetbar, bane of my existence.
https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3549/3407182674_525a1f5eda.jpg
THERE.
soup_alex
+0 -0
Women only desire to be catered for (fed, played-with, etc.) about half of the time. The rest of the time, woman desires independence (being let out, left to sleep undisturbed upon your washing) OHSHIT WOMEN ARE JUST LIKE CATS :|
Women only desire to be catered for (fed, played-with, etc.) about half of the time. The rest of the time, woman desires independence (being let out, left to sleep undisturbed upon your washing) OHSHIT WOMEN ARE JUST LIKE CATS :|
ratacattt
+0 -0
or it could be that you're just not capable of noticing that some cats have more depth of character than you do...
or it could be that you're just not capable of noticing that some cats have more depth of character than you do...
soup_alex
+0 -0
Cats can have quite developed personalities, sure, but their desires are fairly simple to understand.
Cats can have quite developed personalities, sure, but their desires are fairly simple to understand.
mawk
+0 -0
personalities, not so much. I think "psychopathologies" is a better term here.
personalities, not so much. I think "psychopathologies" is a better term here.
azairborne
+0 -0
you embody the sarcastic persona of huggins; you just need to include a food item and object after your comments in place of a name (i.e. liver sleeves, gazpacho drawers, cake shorts, etc.)
you embody the sarcastic persona of huggins; you just need to include a food item and object after your comments in place of a name (i.e. liver sleeves, gazpacho drawers, cake shorts, etc.)
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
sausage wallet
sausage wallet
soup_alex
+0 -0
Remember what I said earlier about "being sick in my mouth"? Yeah (although credit this time goes also to azairborne for the set-up with "liver sleeves").
Still made me chuckle, though. You do not want to see a man caught simultaneously in the throes of vomit-swallowing and chuckling. Is so bad.
Remember what I said earlier about "being sick in my mouth"? Yeah (although credit this time goes also to azairborne for the set-up with "liver sleeves").
Still made me chuckle, though. You do not want to see a man caught simultaneously in the throes of vomit-swallowing and chuckling. Is so bad.
azairborne
+3 -0
chunkling?
chunkling?
soup_alex
+0 -0
Happened again.
Happened again.
carlyle
+0 -0
Just for that word. I chubby you.
Just for that word. I chubby you.
semi_retarded
+0 -0
I'm you're biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me, Phillippe, Phillippe Jackson!
I'm you're biggest fan I'll follow you until you love me, Phillippe, Phillippe Jackson!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
are YOU one of his 61 followers?
are YOU one of his 61 followers?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Omigod he listens to pretty lights.
Omigod he listens to pretty lights.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
yes
yes
semi_retarded
+0 -0
hahaha I checked this again just now months later and he STILL only has 61 followers.
hahaha I checked this again just now months later and he STILL only has 61 followers.
tbtabby
+0 -0
Now I've got "Soxbury Hill" playing in my head.
Now I've got "Soxbury Hill" playing in my head.
Noooo Phillippe Jacksonnnnnn
nah that's just Cartilage Otter
Good Lord he has buttocks-chin
What hath man's blasphemous scalpel wrought!
Eeeugh just imagine if it kind of jiggled when he talks
..wiggled when he (moon)walks
makes the world go round, round, round
Like a record, baby.
Like a rhinestone cowboy.
I had a friend who died from an infected gall bladder. They used the rhinestones to decorate his coffin.
Ha ha oh God your not joking are you
Like rhinestone eyes.
Your rhinestone eyes are like/
Factories far away
it does jiggle. it jiggles so much .
And now picture THAT in combination with the weird way he opens his mouth in that one early strip.... O___O
Holy Christ, don't make the mistake of seeing this strip from the corner of your eye, as it might appear that panels 5 and 8 are joined togther.
It might be something to do with the 'do not disturb' sign being roughly the same width as Philippe's body.
Whatever the reason, no-one ever needs to see Philippe Jackson rocking a doorhandle hard-on.
He looked at me, never blinking, and reached down and crossed out the "not" on the "Do Not Disturb" sign around his door handle hard-on.
Eyebrows waggled like a nude Groucho Marx.
.. dogs barfed in disgust.
End of story.
truly, the saddest story ever