theguitarhero
+3 -0
Every Man Has a Darlene. They are not good to a normal man but they are Good for us.
Every Man Has a Darlene. They are not good to a normal man but they are Good for us.
theguitarhero
+3 -0
Also I'm totally calling my girlfriend Underpants. That is basically going to be her pet name.
Also I'm totally calling my girlfriend Underpants. That is basically going to be her pet name.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Good luck with that.
Good luck with that.
theguitarhero
+1 -1
I'm gonna try it tonight, I'll make sure to do it in AIM so I can post the results here or something.
I'm gonna try it tonight, I'll make sure to do it in AIM so I can post the results here or something.
falseprophet
+11 -0
Dude when you are using your girlfriend to make yourself look awesome to a website your priorities are fucked up.
Dude when you are using your girlfriend to make yourself look awesome to a website your priorities are fucked up.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well I did it and it was kinda lame and falseprophet made me feel douchey so I'm just gonna watch Repo Man and then go do something else.
Well I did it and it was kinda lame and falseprophet made me feel douchey so I'm just gonna watch Repo Man and then go do something else.
tripleg
+0 -0
John Wayne was a fairy.
John Wayne was a fairy.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
WWII was a fallacy.
WWII was a fallacy.
fancypants
+5 -0
my dick is a phallusy
my dick is a phallusy
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You're comment is phallus-y.
You're comment is phallus-y.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
uhhh.
uhhh.
fancypants
+1 -0
your
i make myself feel better about my diminutive phallusy by correcting grammar on the internet
true story
your
i make myself feel better about my diminutive phallusy by correcting grammar on the internet
true story
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
theguitarhero's had hella problems with English today.
it honestly makes me wonder if it's his first language.
theguitarhero's had hella problems with English today.
it honestly makes me wonder if it's his first language.
rowboat
+0 -0
I think he's a boat person. Go easy.
I think he's a boat person. Go easy.
smilebuddha
+1 -0
I'm a boat person too. Motorboats, especially...
[IMGS OFF]
I'm a boat person too. Motorboats, especially...
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You can motorboat an ass but it isn't recommended.
You can motorboat an ass but it isn't recommended.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
M.. mom?
M.. mom?
zapatos
+0 -0
You actually can motorboat a personality, it just isn't as fun.
You actually can motorboat a personality, it just isn't as fun.
senseihollywood
+0 -0
so basically you're saying you come to terms with your dick by being a dick about terms...
so basically you're saying you come to terms with your dick by being a dick about terms...
lazarusloafer
+0 -0
That's Ka-blamo.
That's Ka-blamo.
sje46
+0 -0
This this in the throes of sex, right as you climax.
This this in the throes of sex, right as you climax.
rowboat
+0 -0
Hella juices.
Hella juices.
sje46
+0 -0
Do this.
Do do do.
Do do do do.
[it's all right]
Do this.
Do do do.
Do do do do.
[it's all right]
spectre
+2 -0
Darlene is something that is supposed to happen to you.
Darlene is something that is supposed to happen to you.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Darlene is what lets a man know he is not Actually alone in this world.
Darlene is what lets a man know he is not Actually alone in this world.
dangelder
+0 -0
It's like, the way you feel when you're looking into her eyes...
...oh, wait.
It's like, the way you feel when you're looking into her eyes...
...oh, wait.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I switched my avataricon to this picture for all of two minutes, then saw yours, then switched back. God damn it! God damn you!
I switched my avataricon to this picture for all of two minutes, then saw yours, then switched back. God damn it! God damn you!
fermatprime
+0 -0
Darlene SOLD HER EYES!
Darlene SOLD HER EYES!
fancypants
+2 -0
Darlene is what happens when you find a genie's lamp, rub it, and then wish for the worst imaginable combination of a cameltoe, two strange yet hardened nipples and fringe bangs.
Darlene is what happens when you find a genie's lamp, rub it, and then wish for the worst imaginable combination of a cameltoe, two strange yet hardened nipples and fringe bangs.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
i knew a Darlene here in town. was a friend's sister. she moved back into town.. and then his place. so he moved out.
she was 10 years or so past being a competitive weight lifter / body builder. took lots of steroids. had a deep rough voice like an alligator. horrible. she was a walking sin. big too.
she decided to shrink by taking meth. she afforded her meth by embezzling money from her brother's rafting company while simultaneously [stealing] selling an immaculate gun collection (Colts) and his dirtbike.
the name Darlene is a punch line around these parts.
i knew a Darlene here in town. was a friend's sister. she moved back into town.. and then his place. so he moved out.
she was 10 years or so past being a competitive weight lifter / body builder. took lots of steroids. had a deep rough voice like an alligator. horrible. she was a walking sin. big too.
she decided to shrink by taking meth. she afforded her meth by embezzling money from her brother's rafting company while simultaneously [stealing] selling an immaculate gun collection (Colts) and his dirtbike.
the name Darlene is a punch line around these parts.
boheeka
+0 -0
Out of curiosity, what parts are those? Or more awkwardly, "Where are your parts?"
Out of curiosity, what parts are those? Or more awkwardly, "Where are your parts?"
couchfortress
+0 -0
that is definitely a florida story right there.
that is definitely a florida story right there.
littlebrak
+4 -0
I hope she takes her cunt pills...
Lyle does not wear a gunny sack, either.
I hope she takes her cunt pills...
Lyle does not wear a gunny sack, either.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
This post is easier than Death Steve after he's had one too many heads for dinner.
This post is easier than Death Steve after he's had one too many heads for dinner.
daidai
+0 -0
I don't get the idea that Death Steve is "easy".
You don't wake up next to him because you just had sex. You wake up next to him because he thought you were dead. And edible.
I don't get the idea that Death Steve is "easy".
You don't wake up next to him because you just had sex. You wake up next to him because he thought you were dead. And edible.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
if you go to sleep next to Death Steve i doubt you'll be waking up.
if you go to sleep next to Death Steve i doubt you'll be waking up.
saulbellow
+4 -0
Steve Death, on the other hand, is a perfectly respectable accountant and downright pleasant neighbor; a man to whom I have entrusted my four children over many a long weekend.
Steve Death, on the other hand, is a perfectly respectable accountant and downright pleasant neighbor; a man to whom I have entrusted my four children over many a long weekend.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
saulbellow is Assetbar's amiable dad.
saulbellow is Assetbar's amiable dad.
hedonismbot
+5 -0
Awww, your kids are adorable Saul. Here are some of their hands
Awww, your kids are adorable Saul. Here are some of their hands
sje46
+1 -0
I read this as "Darth Steve".
Obviously Vader's brat brother.
I read this as "Darth Steve".
Obviously Vader's brat brother.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh my god guys. Darlene was pregnant with Lyle's baby.
CHRIS IF YOU ARE READING THIS, MAKE THIS THE ENDING PLZ.
Oh my god guys. Darlene was pregnant with Lyle's baby.
CHRIS IF YOU ARE READING THIS, MAKE THIS THE ENDING PLZ.
tekende
+5 -0
I don't like what's happening in panel eight. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
I don't like what's happening in panel eight. I don't feel like I have a lot of outs.
fablesandblues
+16 -0
Darlene's face in that panel reminds me of a woman I met once. She was a 50 year old renting the room in my aunt's house. She was a former weightlifter who had gotten in a motorcycle accident and lost her left leg. She was dangerously thin. I got the impression that she had never been rather large, but that since the accident she had lost almost all her mass, and most of her brain matter. Her left foreleg was a now a carbon fiber/titanium tube that ran from her thigh. She wore new balances and nike long sleeve t-shirts. She survived on social security and spent her days spending time online at the library.
She came to dinner at my parents house and had the habit of speaking loudly out of turn. Her hair was cut short like mine was in high school, parted in the middle. Her eyes were unnaturally always open and always showed a smile, like a aged, washed up doll that used to take meth and now loved coors light. She acted like a confused eight year old with the outward signs of life expereince: "What do olives taste like," she would ask while drinking her fourth beer, "I don't think i've ever had any." And later she would exclaim "good lord" when my mother produced a cooked ham, "I thought ham was always sliced." Later she was cought stealing from a grocery store and sent to a halfway house. I learned later that she was also attracted to my girlfriend and made it known aloud.
I guessed brain damage. My mother guessed redneck. The line was never clear to me.
Darlene's face in that panel reminds me of a woman I met once. She was a 50 year old renting the room in my aunt's house. She was a former weightlifter who had gotten in a motorcycle accident and lost her left leg. She was dangerously thin. I got the impression that she had never been rather large, but that since the accident she had lost almost all her mass, and most of her brain matter. Her left foreleg was a now a carbon fiber/titanium tube that ran from her thigh. She wore new balances and nike long sleeve t-shirts. She survived on social security and spent her days spending time online at the library.
She came to dinner at my parents house and had the habit of speaking loudly out of turn. Her hair was cut short like mine was in high school, parted in the middle. Her eyes were unnaturally always open and always showed a smile, like a aged, washed up doll that used to take meth and now loved coors light. She acted like a confused eight year old with the outward signs of life expereince: "What do olives taste like," she would ask while drinking her fourth beer, "I don't think i've ever had any." And later she would exclaim "good lord" when my mother produced a cooked ham, "I thought ham was always sliced." Later she was cought stealing from a grocery store and sent to a halfway house. I learned later that she was also attracted to my girlfriend and made it known aloud.
I guessed brain damage. My mother guessed redneck. The line was never clear to me.
saulbellow
+0 -0
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hateandwar, Scorpio_nadir, IronDave)
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by hateandwar, Scorpio_nadir, IronDave)
hateandwar
+0 -0
You've evidently not lived a life that would involve meeting these kinds of people. I pity you, you and the decent, decent people you grew up around.
You've evidently not lived a life that would involve meeting these kinds of people. I pity you, you and the decent, decent people you grew up around.
utv
+1 -0
Saul Bellow, you would know a thing or two about long paragraphs consisting of made-up stuff.
Because you're a novelist.
That sounded a lot snappier in my head.
Saul Bellow, you would know a thing or two about long paragraphs consisting of made-up stuff.
Because you're a novelist.
That sounded a lot snappier in my head.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
burrrrrrrrrrn
burrrrrrrrrrn
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Quote:
Quote:
You found this comment lame.
dusty
+0 -0
Perhaps it is in part made up. maybe,like achewood, it is a mixed and interesting retelling of real life. I don't have a hard time believing it could be true.
Perhaps it is in part made up. maybe,like achewood, it is a mixed and interesting retelling of real life. I don't have a hard time believing it could be true.
fablesandblues
+0 -0
Which part do you guys think is made up. I mean I know this is the internet, but seriously this is the rundown as to the claims of the story:
Fake leg: true.
Claimed lack of knowledge of olives: true.
Brain damage: true.
Creepy: true.
Lesbian: unknown.
Which part do you guys think is made up. I mean I know this is the internet, but seriously this is the rundown as to the claims of the story:
Fake leg: true.
Claimed lack of knowledge of olives: true.
Brain damage: true.
Creepy: true.
Lesbian: unknown.
couchfortress
+0 -0
this is definitely a florida story right there. a creative writing florida story.
this is definitely a florida story right there. a creative writing florida story.
paperboy_2000
+4 -0
Yeah, I wasn't sure how to read that panel. Was she stifling a belch?
Then I decided that she was getting a little choked up there. She's hitting on the manager hoping she'll get a left over Big Mac that has been underneath the heat lamp too long. But Lyle offers to actually pay for a meal, and has brand liquor to share with her rather than a half-empty jug of Gallo. She thinks this may be her Prince Charming. She steadies herself with a drink, her words are measured, but the quiver of her lower lip betrays her emotion.
Yeah, I wasn't sure how to read that panel. Was she stifling a belch?
Then I decided that she was getting a little choked up there. She's hitting on the manager hoping she'll get a left over Big Mac that has been underneath the heat lamp too long. But Lyle offers to actually pay for a meal, and has brand liquor to share with her rather than a half-empty jug of Gallo. She thinks this may be her Prince Charming. She steadies herself with a drink, her words are measured, but the quiver of her lower lip betrays her emotion.
daedala_x
+9 -0
that or she'd just unearthed a juicy chunk of wintergreen skoal from underneath her lip and switched it over to her upper left gums for safe-keeping during their next brew-swap.
that or she'd just unearthed a juicy chunk of wintergreen skoal from underneath her lip and switched it over to her upper left gums for safe-keeping during their next brew-swap.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
^^ that ^^
^^ that ^^
fermatprime
+1 -0
Dude, check out the way Darlene opens her mouth. It's kinda gross.
Dude, check out the way Darlene opens her mouth. It's kinda gross.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's a bad case of Ugly-mouth she got thar.
That's a bad case of Ugly-mouth she got thar.
spectre
+0 -0
Lyle does not have two mustaches. He has a beard that sticks out the side of his face and a stache on top of that. Oh, and BTW, Death Steve is the other guy in that duplex where Serge A Storms lives, right down the street across from the middle school. Ah, Florida. Wouldn't live anywhere else.
Lyle does not have two mustaches. He has a beard that sticks out the side of his face and a stache on top of that. Oh, and BTW, Death Steve is the other guy in that duplex where Serge A Storms lives, right down the street across from the middle school. Ah, Florida. Wouldn't live anywhere else.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Death Steve is totally this dude I went to high school with who loves metal and only metal, and was part of a "HAIL SATAN" circle that all the metalheads lead right next to this prayer circle.
Death Steve is totally this dude I went to high school with who loves metal and only metal, and was part of a "HAIL SATAN" circle that all the metalheads lead right next to this prayer circle.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that makes me sad.
that makes me sad.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It made me sad too, but the dude himself wasn't actually a Satanist and was pretty cool so it didn't affect me as badly as I thought it would.
It made me sad too, but the dude himself wasn't actually a Satanist and was pretty cool so it didn't affect me as badly as I thought it would.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah, i had a friend like that, too.
he would have totally done a thing just to be funny.
yeah, i had a friend like that, too.
he would have totally done a thing just to be funny.
daedala_x
+2 -0
i'm pretty sure that all these metalhead dudes were less in support of Satan and more in support of Things That Look Really Fucking Cool.
i'm pretty sure that all these metalhead dudes were less in support of Satan and more in support of Things That Look Really Fucking Cool.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
Yeah, there were some serious metalheads at that high school, but there was also a dude who like Enya as well as metal.
I mean, there is no problem with that, I mix genres as much as anyone but I don't where a shirt that has Skeletor that says PANTERA on it.
Yeah, there were some serious metalheads at that high school, but there was also a dude who like Enya as well as metal.
I mean, there is no problem with that, I mix genres as much as anyone but I don't where a shirt that has Skeletor that says PANTERA on it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
um...
'where'?
i found your mis-spelling lame.
um...
'where'?
i found your mis-spelling lame.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
but i completely listen to Enya and Horse. sometimes at the same time.
(DOUBLE MUSIC!!)
but i completely listen to Enya and Horse. sometimes at the same time.
(DOUBLE MUSIC!!)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
DAMMIT I fucked it up again.
In my defense I was in a hurry to finish writing that because I was about to pass out from not eating and being out in the sun and as also about to go get some food.
DAMMIT I fucked it up again.
In my defense I was in a hurry to finish writing that because I was about to pass out from not eating and being out in the sun and as also about to go get some food.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
hooray for pizza day!
hooray for pizza day!
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
i'll tell y'all something though...
maruchan ramen flavoring is not as good as nissin's. it turns the water thicker. into something your stomach does not understand. your tummy goes 'oh! it's a liquid! this is no problem!' but then it starts to churnin' and your digestive system goes 'now what in the wide world of sports is this jive' and gets angry.
bottom line:
Nissin ftw.
i'll tell y'all something though...
maruchan ramen flavoring is not as good as nissin's. it turns the water thicker. into something your stomach does not understand. your tummy goes 'oh! it's a liquid! this is no problem!' but then it starts to churnin' and your digestive system goes 'now what in the wide world of sports is this jive' and gets angry.
bottom line:
Nissin ftw.
sje46
+0 -0
Both cup-a-soups do this, and I think Maruchan is better. Although it's been a while. I remember liking it a lot better than Nissin.
I actually ate one raw today. Delicious.
Both cup-a-soups do this, and I think Maruchan is better. Although it's been a while. I remember liking it a lot better than Nissin.
I actually ate one raw today. Delicious.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
naw, not the cup-a-soup versions. the kind you boil in the small saucepan that sometimes you forgot you made something in last night so you get kinda frustrated 'cos you have to wash the half-arsed soup you made last night out before you fill it up to the rivets with water and set it a'boil.
naw, not the cup-a-soup versions. the kind you boil in the small saucepan that sometimes you forgot you made something in last night so you get kinda frustrated 'cos you have to wash the half-arsed soup you made last night out before you fill it up to the rivets with water and set it a'boil.
sje46
+0 -0
The cup-a-soup kinds are so much better though. The kind I ate raw was this kind, though.
The cup-a-soup kinds are so much better though. The kind I ate raw was this kind, though.
stereo
+0 -0
Or cause you're lazy like me, you microwave the bowl of water with the noodles already in. As long as they get soft it's all good. Why waste a perfectly clean pot?
Or cause you're lazy like me, you microwave the bowl of water with the noodles already in. As long as they get soft it's all good. Why waste a perfectly clean pot?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I've done this same thing too.
I've done this same thing too.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
no, see, when you pour all the noodles into the bowl, none should remain in the pot so all that was in there was some noodles and water, which you don't need to bother cleaning, since the remaining water evaporates!
This has been Dude Dishes with cpnglxynchos .
no, see, when you pour all the noodles into the bowl, none should remain in the pot so all that was in there was some noodles and water, which you don't need to bother cleaning, since the remaining water evaporates!
This has been Dude Dishes with cpnglxynchos .
tripleg
+0 -0
oh man, even my slob ex-roommate knows that if you don't wash the noodle pot quickly the starches that separated out during the boiling cling to the sides and form a gummy mess and that's basically just boiling glue right onto the side of your pot and that stuff almost never comes off without some kind of citrus battery acid and some steel wool
oh man, even my slob ex-roommate knows that if you don't wash the noodle pot quickly the starches that separated out during the boiling cling to the sides and form a gummy mess and that's basically just boiling glue right onto the side of your pot and that stuff almost never comes off without some kind of citrus battery acid and some steel wool
sje46
+0 -0
I would try steel acid , personally.
I would try steel acid , personally.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
well, what happens when you forget you put the water on sometimes and it causes all the minerals in the water to form a white ring on the sides? does that cancel out?
well, what happens when you forget you put the water on sometimes and it causes all the minerals in the water to form a white ring on the sides? does that cancel out?
tripleg
+0 -0
i believe we refer to that as seasoning
i believe we refer to that as seasoning
stereo
+0 -0
"If you can't see it, it's not a problem" is also the basis of the pile of laundry on the floor behind me right now.
"If you can't see it, it's not a problem" is also the basis of the pile of laundry on the floor behind me right now.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
this is why i'm glad my room is in the dark basement. if i only turn on my bedside light, i forget about my own growing pile of laundry in the corner.
this is why i'm glad my room is in the dark basement. if i only turn on my bedside light, i forget about my own growing pile of laundry in the corner.
tripleg
+0 -0
have the two of you no sense of smell? or are you just that comfortable with your own filth?
do i... do i have to turn in my dude-card now?
have the two of you no sense of smell? or are you just that comfortable with your own filth?
do i... do i have to turn in my dude-card now?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i'd imagine it would only smell so awful if it'd been there for months.
mine has never gotten to such a state.
i'd imagine it would only smell so awful if it'd been there for months.
mine has never gotten to such a state.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm closer to the window than the laundry so it's not too bad.
But yes I am comfortable with my own filth.
I'm closer to the window than the laundry so it's not too bad.
But yes I am comfortable with my own filth.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yes.
if you can't, you should either, A) shower more, or B) never Room Raid my room unless i've had notice.
yes.
if you can't, you should either, A) shower more, or B) never Room Raid my room unless i've had notice.
nerd_specs
+0 -0
Yeah, the raw ramen bricks are awesome. Especially after you have been drinking a lot, and you come home, and you figure you oughta eat something, but there really isn't anything in the fridge. You just smash it up a bit, rip one end of the package open, fish out the flavor packet, sprinkle it into the bag and shake it up. My husband calls this "Okie Chips".
Yeah, the raw ramen bricks are awesome. Especially after you have been drinking a lot, and you come home, and you figure you oughta eat something, but there really isn't anything in the fridge. You just smash it up a bit, rip one end of the package open, fish out the flavor packet, sprinkle it into the bag and shake it up. My husband calls this "Okie Chips".
nerd_specs
+0 -0
He's an Okie, so it is okay that he calls it that.
He's an Okie, so it is okay that he calls it that.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It's okay he calls it that? Says who? Are you the Queen of Oklahoma then?
It's okay he calls it that? Says who? Are you the Queen of Oklahoma then?
nerd_specs
+1 -0
Thanks for blowing my cover. I was trying to keep that on the DL, but you caught me. Yes, I am the Queen of Oklahoma.
Thanks for blowing my cover. I was trying to keep that on the DL, but you caught me. Yes, I am the Queen of Oklahoma.
irondave
+0 -0
Many of your subjects participate here, your Majesty, and are honored by your presence.
Many of your subjects participate here, your Majesty, and are honored by your presence.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Hail hail!
Hail hail!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Hail yeah, Queen Betty!
Hail yeah, Queen Betty!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
I knew it were you, Reba. I seen your checkerboard curtains of your doublewide, and I'd reconnize them garters anywheer.
I knew it were you, Reba. I seen your checkerboard curtains of your doublewide, and I'd reconnize them garters anywheer.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Actually tacos from Tijuana Flats.
Actually tacos from Tijuana Flats.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Man I'm just waiting for Belgand to get here to tell me that eating tacos from any place that doesn't have wheels and that the food isn't served by a Mexican guy with a big knife who calls you puto the whole time and spits in your Shasta Cola is the most ridiculous thing ever and that I shouldn't even call myself a consumer of food.
Man I'm just waiting for Belgand to get here to tell me that eating tacos from any place that doesn't have wheels and that the food isn't served by a Mexican guy with a big knife who calls you puto the whole time and spits in your Shasta Cola is the most ridiculous thing ever and that I shouldn't even call myself a consumer of food.
tekende
+1 -0
Here in SF the best tacos are made by Puerto Ricans, and I don't know why any thinking person would buy one from a Mexican. The prospect makes bile rise in my throat.
How was that?
Here in SF the best tacos are made by Puerto Ricans, and I don't know why any thinking person would buy one from a Mexican. The prospect makes bile rise in my throat.
How was that?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Um, except tacos aren't Puerto Rican food so it's literally ridiculous to say a thing like that tekende. A Puerto Rican would make the shittiest taco ever.
Um, except tacos aren't Puerto Rican food so it's literally ridiculous to say a thing like that tekende. A Puerto Rican would make the shittiest taco ever.
tekende
+0 -0
Yeah, so what? I was originally going to say Italians because it would be even more ridiculous.
Yeah, so what? I was originally going to say Italians because it would be even more ridiculous.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well it's stupid to say that a Puerto Rican taco is better than a Mexican taco because Puerto Ricans can't make tacos. That's like saying a skyscraper built by a five year old is structurally sound.
Well it's stupid to say that a Puerto Rican taco is better than a Mexican taco because Puerto Ricans can't make tacos. That's like saying a skyscraper built by a five year old is structurally sound.
tekende
+0 -0
Anyone can make a taco. I'm sure Puerto Ricans are just as competent as anyone else. I mean, fuck, I've made tacos. They're not that complicated.
Anyone can make a taco. I'm sure Puerto Ricans are just as competent as anyone else. I mean, fuck, I've made tacos. They're not that complicated.
sje46
+1 -0
Well, then that must mean . . . you're a secret Mexican!
*gasp*
Well, then that must mean . . . you're a secret Mexican!
*gasp*
belgand
+0 -0
The trick isn't making the taco, it's making the taco meat.
The trick isn't making the taco, it's making the taco meat.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Exactly. A Puerto Rican would just not be able to prepare all the various parts of the taco properly in order to make a decent taco.
I can say this with relative authority because my family is Puerto Rican.
Exactly. A Puerto Rican would just not be able to prepare all the various parts of the taco properly in order to make a decent taco.
I can say this with relative authority because my family is Puerto Rican.
rowboat
+1 -0
Holy dog shit! Puerto Rico? Only sugarcane, coffee, pineapples, plantains, bananas, livestock products, chickens and queers come from Puerto Rico, Private Guitarhero. And you don't look much like sugarcane, coffee, pineapples, plantains, bananas, livestock products or chickens to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
Holy dog shit! Puerto Rico? Only sugarcane, coffee, pineapples, plantains, bananas, livestock products, chickens and queers come from Puerto Rico, Private Guitarhero. And you don't look much like sugarcane, coffee, pineapples, plantains, bananas, livestock products or chickens to me so that kinda narrows it down. Do you suck dicks?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ricans ain't making no tacos, at least no tacos I wanna eat, that's for DAMN sure.
Ricans ain't making no tacos, at least no tacos I wanna eat, that's for DAMN sure.
couchfortress
+0 -0
oh max, your dad is the whitest barber i've ever seen.
oh max, your dad is the whitest barber i've ever seen.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
The trick isn't making the taco or the taco meat. The trick is taming the taco.
The trick isn't making the taco or the taco meat. The trick is taming the taco.
tripleg
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
some of them tacos put up a real fight
[IMGS OFF]
some of them tacos put up a real fight
belgand
+0 -0
I typically get burritos. I haven't had a taco in years.
I typically get burritos. I haven't had a taco in years.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah, I don't really get tacos. I mean burritos make sense. Put it in a wrapping of bread so the stuff doesn't fall out. But tacos are open on 3 sides. And especially with hard shells, they're prone to breaking the 4th side leaving you with basically a vertical sandwich.
Yeah, I don't really get tacos. I mean burritos make sense. Put it in a wrapping of bread so the stuff doesn't fall out. But tacos are open on 3 sides. And especially with hard shells, they're prone to breaking the 4th side leaving you with basically a vertical sandwich.
sje46
+0 -0
Except burritos are god awful. The only tortilla worth eating is corn tortillas.
Except burritos are god awful. The only tortilla worth eating is corn tortillas.
belgand
+0 -0
The foil further adds stability. Not only do you have a wrapping, but you've got an exoskeleton around it.
Yeah and when you get most tacos from a taqueria they really pile on the toppings. Then again, they usually give you two tortillas with that sort, but then it's sort of a make-your-own taco kit as you have to shift half of them off.
I never see hard shells any more. I mean, occasionally you'll find a place doing the authentic style where you actually fry them to make them crisp, but never the pre-made style. If I had grown up here I would probably be amazed to visit a Taco Bell and experience a whole new world of tacos that fall apart easily.
The foil further adds stability. Not only do you have a wrapping, but you've got an exoskeleton around it.
Yeah and when you get most tacos from a taqueria they really pile on the toppings. Then again, they usually give you two tortillas with that sort, but then it's sort of a make-your-own taco kit as you have to shift half of them off.
I never see hard shells any more. I mean, occasionally you'll find a place doing the authentic style where you actually fry them to make them crisp, but never the pre-made style. If I had grown up here I would probably be amazed to visit a Taco Bell and experience a whole new world of tacos that fall apart easily.
belgand
+0 -0
Dammit, I avoided this for so long, but I cannot do so any longer. My favorite local spot for burritos is Taqueria Cancun. They're fairly popular, but they're also pretty damn good. El Tonayense (they run a number of trucks and two storefronts) is also in the top 5. El Castillito is also rather good, but I don't have enough trips under my belt there to say more. I find Taqueria El Buen Sabor to be pretty good as well even if they're not enough to really wow me.
I would avoid Taqueria San Jose and La Taqueria (no rice in their burritos, but I'm told they have better tacos than burritos and since they have good meat I can see the truth in this, but their burritos aren't worth it) as neither is particularly great. Pancho Villa Taqueria is like a better version of Chipotle and you can do a lot better, but they're tolerable. They have good salsa though.
Neither of the places in the Haight are worth going to if you don't live there or absolutely need a burrito. Zona Rosa is better, but only barely and only because El Balazo consistently disappointed me on three different items in a row.
Papalote has its followers, but they don't wrap in foil and they're really not trying to be a traditional taqueria. If what you want is some sort of hipster burrito with marinated tofu or an unfoiled pork verde then maybe you're the type to enjoy them. I'm willing to give them another try. People rave about their salsa, but I didn't find anything to be particularly spectacular about it.
The Little Chihuahua does a nice brunch and from what I've tasted I definitely need to go back and give them some more burrito time. I've heard excellent things about their plantain burrito. They're also trying pretty hard to be all-natural with quality sourcing on their meat and fish, reusable containers for everything and a solid vibe in that manner overall, but while still keeping their prices to be roughly the same as everyone else. If that's your deal you might want to keep them in mind.
Honestly you're probably going to get a pretty good burrito from just about anywhere. It's a high-level game though and there are some really excellent places out there at the same prices so if all you're getting is "pretty good", well, maybe you should be trying for better.
Oh and I'm told that some of the best burritos are being made by Indians .
Dammit, I avoided this for so long, but I cannot do so any longer. My favorite local spot for burritos is Taqueria Cancun. They're fairly popular, but they're also pretty damn good. El Tonayense (they run a number of trucks and two storefronts) is also in the top 5. El Castillito is also rather good, but I don't have enough trips under my belt there to say more. I find Taqueria El Buen Sabor to be pretty good as well even if they're not enough to really wow me.
I would avoid Taqueria San Jose and La Taqueria (no rice in their burritos, but I'm told they have better tacos than burritos and since they have good meat I can see the truth in this, but their burritos aren't worth it) as neither is particularly great. Pancho Villa Taqueria is like a better version of Chipotle and you can do a lot better, but they're tolerable. They have good salsa though.
Neither of the places in the Haight are worth going to if you don't live there or absolutely need a burrito. Zona Rosa is better, but only barely and only because El Balazo consistently disappointed me on three different items in a row.
Papalote has its followers, but they don't wrap in foil and they're really not trying to be a traditional taqueria. If what you want is some sort of hipster burrito with marinated tofu or an unfoiled pork verde then maybe you're the type to enjoy them. I'm willing to give them another try. People rave about their salsa, but I didn't find anything to be particularly spectacular about it.
The Little Chihuahua does a nice brunch and from what I've tasted I definitely need to go back and give them some more burrito time. I've heard excellent things about their plantain burrito. They're also trying pretty hard to be all-natural with quality sourcing on their meat and fish, reusable containers for everything and a solid vibe in that manner overall, but while still keeping their prices to be roughly the same as everyone else. If that's your deal you might want to keep them in mind.
Honestly you're probably going to get a pretty good burrito from just about anywhere. It's a high-level game though and there are some really excellent places out there at the same prices so if all you're getting is "pretty good", well, maybe you should be trying for better.
Oh and I'm told that some of the best burritos are being made by Indians .
cbtbone
+2 -0
I have had whoper.
I have had whoper.
everything
+0 -0
I am bad with names, so having a mnemonic is always helpful. so henceforward when I see belgand I will think tacopedia.
I am bad with names, so having a mnemonic is always helpful. so henceforward when I see belgand I will think tacopedia.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
That doesn't make any sense whatsoever.
belgand
+0 -0
That would be wrong. I am only referring to burritos here. I have never eaten a taco at any of these establishments and will not vouch for taco quality at them.
That would be wrong. I am only referring to burritos here. I have never eaten a taco at any of these establishments and will not vouch for taco quality at them.
irondave
+0 -0
Implicit in Belgand's world view is the idea that popularity and "goodness" are inversely related.
Implicit in Belgand's world view is the idea that popularity and "goodness" are inversely related.
belgand
+0 -0
Hmm... I didn't notice that at first, but I went back over it and I see exactly what you mean. My issue is more than, in the particular case of Taqueria Can-Cun, they have won a Best of the Bay Reader's Choice award for something like the past decade consecutively. The problem with that is that when a place wins it isn't always indicative of them being good, but just that people read the awards last year, went to the place, and never really tried much else so it keeps winning. Not that it's bad, but that it isn't really the best. You also see this sort of thing with a lot of awards given out to places just because of the neighborhood they're in, e.g. I doubt the shoe repair place on Haight is necessarily the best, but merely the only damn shoe repair place most readers of an alternative weekly knew in large enough numbers to vote for.
So it's not that something popular can't be good, but that I don't want to incorrectly correlate that something popular must be good.
Hmm... I didn't notice that at first, but I went back over it and I see exactly what you mean. My issue is more than, in the particular case of Taqueria Can-Cun, they have won a Best of the Bay Reader's Choice award for something like the past decade consecutively. The problem with that is that when a place wins it isn't always indicative of them being good, but just that people read the awards last year, went to the place, and never really tried much else so it keeps winning. Not that it's bad, but that it isn't really the best. You also see this sort of thing with a lot of awards given out to places just because of the neighborhood they're in, e.g. I doubt the shoe repair place on Haight is necessarily the best, but merely the only damn shoe repair place most readers of an alternative weekly knew in large enough numbers to vote for.
So it's not that something popular can't be good, but that I don't want to incorrectly correlate that something popular must be good.
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
That was the only sentence I read in this thread. I'm happy I did.
Quote:
....will not vouch for taco quality....
That was the only sentence I read in this thread. I'm happy I did.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Maybe you should.
Maybe you should.
boheeka
+1 -0
How about a shirt with skeletor on it that said Enya?
OR like, death listening to that "Pure Moods" CD that you used to see on tv.
How about a shirt with skeletor on it that said Enya?
OR like, death listening to that "Pure Moods" CD that you used to see on tv.
tripleg
+0 -0
Death would probably find that "Pure Moods" CD pretty ginchy
Death would probably find that "Pure Moods" CD pretty ginchy
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the first Pure Moods album was really good. all having Enigma and Enya and um...i forgot who else i liked on there...but i do remember it wasn't the X-Files remix.
the first Pure Moods album was really good. all having Enigma and Enya and um...i forgot who else i liked on there...but i do remember it wasn't the X-Files remix.
boheeka
+0 -0
For the life of me I cannot figure out what I was talking about here.
For the life of me I cannot figure out what I was talking about here.
belgand
+0 -0
As far as I am aware LeVayen Satanism is basically entirely that. It is the religion of trying to look really cool, piss off squares, and have sex with freaky girls.
As far as I am aware LeVayen Satanism is basically entirely that. It is the religion of trying to look really cool, piss off squares, and have sex with freaky girls.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
that just sounds like The Hipster's Creed...
that just sounds like The Hipster's Creed...
belgand
+0 -0
I don't think hipsters are allowed to actually care about sex. Definitely not enough to create some nonsense that cribs from Milton's concept of Satan as a sexy rebel and says you ought to be having orgies to celebrate the nature of the beast or whatever.
I don't think hipsters are allowed to actually care about sex. Definitely not enough to create some nonsense that cribs from Milton's concept of Satan as a sexy rebel and says you ought to be having orgies to celebrate the nature of the beast or whatever.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
This is not true. Sex is essential to the hipster-on-the-go. A guy has nothing to dress up for if there isn't pretty hipster girls to possibly have unprotected sex with.
This is not true. Sex is essential to the hipster-on-the-go. A guy has nothing to dress up for if there isn't pretty hipster girls to possibly have unprotected sex with.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
isn't or aren't ?
but yes, this is exactly my reasoning.
i know my first thought about walking into a place is 'now which of these wants to line up on this business.'
(usually none.)
^all this is a lie.^
isn't or aren't ?
but yes, this is exactly my reasoning.
i know my first thought about walking into a place is 'now which of these wants to line up on this business.'
(usually none.)
^all this is a lie.^
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Isn't is the right word to use there, isn't it?
Isn't is the right word to use there, isn't it?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it doesn't feel like it to me.
it doesn't feel like it to me.
belgand
+0 -0
You want to use "aren't". "Hipster girls" is plural so you need to refer to them with the present plural form of "to be" which is "are".
You want to use "aren't". "Hipster girls" is plural so you need to refer to them with the present plural form of "to be" which is "are".
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Fuck.
Well, I went to school in Florida though, we are the worst possible state to get schooling in.
Fuck.
Well, I went to school in Florida though, we are the worst possible state to get schooling in.
sje46
+0 -0
Not Mississippi?
Not Mississippi?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Not Misisipi.
Not Misisipi.
bill4935
+0 -0
Isn't "pretty hipster girl" singular though? I'm pretty sure I've only ever seen one of them.
Space saving second comment: I would pay up to $17.99 for a Skeletor-Enya shirt. Preferably with tour dates on the back: Dublin, London, Munich, Infinita.
Isn't "pretty hipster girl" singular though? I'm pretty sure I've only ever seen one of them.
Space saving second comment: I would pay up to $17.99 for a Skeletor-Enya shirt. Preferably with tour dates on the back: Dublin, London, Munich, Infinita.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
if you've only seen one, you are not Paying Attention.
if you've only seen one, you are not Paying Attention.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
but hell, you're claimin' 33. go die already.
/agism
but hell, you're claimin' 33. go die already.
/agism
belgand
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
If you're old enough to get it, it probably applies to you.
[IMGS OFF]
If you're old enough to get it, it probably applies to you.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I get it though, and I'm only 18.
I think Logan's Run is enough a part of the cultural subconscious by now. I mean, they did a bit on Family Guy about it and everything!
I get it though, and I'm only 18.
I think Logan's Run is enough a part of the cultural subconscious by now. I mean, they did a bit on Family Guy about it and everything!
belgand
+0 -0
Hence the qualifier of "probably".
Let us at least acknowledge that it was not a very good film and there is basically no good reason to be watching it in this day and age.
Hence the qualifier of "probably".
Let us at least acknowledge that it was not a very good film and there is basically no good reason to be watching it in this day and age.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I feel like when Man At Arms is getting tired of saving Prince Adam's scrawny ass he goes out for a drink with Death Steve and Serge A Storms.
I feel like when Man At Arms is getting tired of saving Prince Adam's scrawny ass he goes out for a drink with Death Steve and Serge A Storms.
vondicus
+0 -0
That is some choice alt text.
That is some choice alt text.
paperboy_2000
+1 -0
A Jumbo Hole by any other name would smell as sweet...
A Jumbo Hole by any other name would smell as sweet...
fermatprime
+2 -0
My mistress' Jumbo Hole is nothing like the sun.
My mistress' Jumbo Hole is nothing like the sun.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
O that I were a Chili Foot-long in that hand, that I might touch that Jumbo Hole!
O that I were a Chili Foot-long in that hand, that I might touch that Jumbo Hole!
hamscout
+22 -0
Lyle's 18th Sonnet
(Ace of Spades Soliloquy)
Shall I compare thee to some Jumbo Hole?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Though 'cane winds shake the bangs of low cut bowl,
and NASCAR ends at much too soon a date.
Sometime too hot the strip club spotlight shines,
Revealing mons left, lazily, untrimm'd;
And every jockey of the pole declines,
By child, or gor'ged Krispy Kreme unslimm'd.
But thou shall never fear a drooping bust,
A mighty teton range your a-shirt owest;
It needeth not brassiere for upward thrust,
And I feel the stallion in my work slacks growest.
So long as Judas rocks and Jack flows free,
I'll share my drugs, and you shall fellate me.
(Sorry Shakespeare... Sorry college...)
Lyle's 18th Sonnet
(Ace of Spades Soliloquy)
Shall I compare thee to some Jumbo Hole?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Though 'cane winds shake the bangs of low cut bowl,
and NASCAR ends at much too soon a date.
Sometime too hot the strip club spotlight shines,
Revealing mons left, lazily, untrimm'd;
And every jockey of the pole declines,
By child, or gor'ged Krispy Kreme unslimm'd.
But thou shall never fear a drooping bust,
A mighty teton range your a-shirt owest;
It needeth not brassiere for upward thrust,
And I feel the stallion in my work slacks growest.
So long as Judas rocks and Jack flows free,
I'll share my drugs, and you shall fellate me.
(Sorry Shakespeare... Sorry college...)
sje46
+0 -0
I'm afraid that now they have to take back your diploma.
I'm afraid that now they have to take back your diploma.
belgand
+0 -0
But that is only because they need to give him a new diploma for something that awesome. It is a metamorphosis into a greater form.
In that line, now do Ovid. It sure as hell better be in dactylic hexameter and it damn well better be heroic!
But that is only because they need to give him a new diploma for something that awesome. It is a metamorphosis into a greater form.
In that line, now do Ovid. It sure as hell better be in dactylic hexameter and it damn well better be heroic!
hamscout
+0 -0
I have to work on my new house, so I don't have the time to give this challenge the love it deserves (plus, it would never be done before Onstad puts up the next installment.)
Instead, I will give you a quote from Ovid's "Cures For Love" , in which he describes how to handle alcohol after a relationship has come to an end.
I fear this is foreshadowing, but you may draw your own conclusions...
You ask what I teach about the gifts of Bacchus?
Expect to be enlightened, by my warnings, very briefly.
Wine prepares your heart for love, unless you take enough,
and your wits are stupefied, overcome by the neat juice.
By wind a fire is fed, by wind it is extinguished:
light breezes fan the flames, heavier gusts will kill them.
So don't drink at all, or drink so much your cares all vanish:
if it's anywhere between the two it's bound to do you harm.
Remedia Amoris , Translated from the Latin by A. S. Kline , 2001
I have to work on my new house, so I don't have the time to give this challenge the love it deserves (plus, it would never be done before Onstad puts up the next installment.)
Instead, I will give you a quote from Ovid's "Cures For Love" , in which he describes how to handle alcohol after a relationship has come to an end.
I fear this is foreshadowing, but you may draw your own conclusions...
You ask what I teach about the gifts of Bacchus?
Expect to be enlightened, by my warnings, very briefly.
Wine prepares your heart for love, unless you take enough,
and your wits are stupefied, overcome by the neat juice.
By wind a fire is fed, by wind it is extinguished:
light breezes fan the flames, heavier gusts will kill them.
So don't drink at all, or drink so much your cares all vanish:
if it's anywhere between the two it's bound to do you harm.
Remedia Amoris , Translated from the Latin by A. S. Kline , 2001
belgand
+0 -0
By posting a translation it fails to keep the appropriate meter that it would have had in Latin. English is an absolutely brutal language to do dactylic hexameter in, but regardless you still failed to entirely meet the goals of the commission.
If it doesn't scan/then talk to the hand
By posting a translation it fails to keep the appropriate meter that it would have had in Latin. English is an absolutely brutal language to do dactylic hexameter in, but regardless you still failed to entirely meet the goals of the commission.
If it doesn't scan/then talk to the hand
sje46
+0 -0
I hate dactylic hexameter. I don't really understand the rules. I know it really isn't that hard, but I just can't do it right.
We are currently reading the Eclogues, by Virgil. I'm so over my head.
I hate dactylic hexameter. I don't really understand the rules. I know it really isn't that hard, but I just can't do it right.
We are currently reading the Eclogues, by Virgil. I'm so over my head.
belgand
+0 -0
The basics are pretty simple though. Six feet with each foot made up of a dactyl which is short, short, long (the name comes from the Greek word for finger as the three segments of a dactyl are compared to the three sections of your fingers).
The last foot is always a spondee (two long syllables), but these can also be used in the first four feet. The fifth is always (well, almost always) a dactyl.
I mean, there's a bit more to it than that, but that's pretty much all you really need to know.
The basics are pretty simple though. Six feet with each foot made up of a dactyl which is short, short, long (the name comes from the Greek word for finger as the three segments of a dactyl are compared to the three sections of your fingers).
The last foot is always a spondee (two long syllables), but these can also be used in the first four feet. The fifth is always (well, almost always) a dactyl.
I mean, there's a bit more to it than that, but that's pretty much all you really need to know.
sje46
+0 -0
It is the basics that I understand. What I don't understand is the specific rules. Like apparently a vowel followed by two consonant sounds makes it long, and you are supposed to omit "um"s, or something?
It is the specifics which mess me up, and make it so that I can't even translate one single line.
You're wrong though. A dactyl is long, short, short. You're thinking of anapest. I suppose the Greeks counted their knuckles the other way?
The wikipedia page says that Lucy in the Skies is Dactylic, and that gives me a litle hope for my ability to scna, because I so noticed that . Also, Across the Universe (the song this time, ya dicks) is trochee.
I believe that the last foot is two syllables long in dactyl, but the last syllable can be either long or short. At least in Virgil.
But yeah, I can figure out the rules myself. But I disagree that this is all I need to know. But I'm lazy and can look it up easily online.
It is the basics that I understand. What I don't understand is the specific rules. Like apparently a vowel followed by two consonant sounds makes it long, and you are supposed to omit "um"s, or something?
It is the specifics which mess me up, and make it so that I can't even translate one single line.
You're wrong though. A dactyl is long, short, short. You're thinking of anapest. I suppose the Greeks counted their knuckles the other way?
The wikipedia page says that Lucy in the Skies is Dactylic, and that gives me a litle hope for my ability to scna, because I so noticed that . Also, Across the Universe (the song this time, ya dicks) is trochee.
I believe that the last foot is two syllables long in dactyl, but the last syllable can be either long or short. At least in Virgil.
But yeah, I can figure out the rules myself. But I disagree that this is all I need to know. But I'm lazy and can look it up easily online.
sje46
+0 -0
Sky*
Sky*
tripleg
+0 -0
as i took greek and have no latin, how much does scansion affect translation?
as i took greek and have no latin, how much does scansion affect translation?
sje46
+0 -0
It helps to some degree. For example, let's say that there are two very similar verbs, "polare" with a long "o" and "polare" with a short one, and they both have very different meanings. If it is at the beginning of a line, you know it is the first polare, since it has to start with a long syllable. So yeah, it helps some. But I'm bad at scansion, so I don't know.
It helps to some degree. For example, let's say that there are two very similar verbs, "polare" with a long "o" and "polare" with a short one, and they both have very different meanings. If it is at the beginning of a line, you know it is the first polare, since it has to start with a long syllable. So yeah, it helps some. But I'm bad at scansion, so I don't know.
fermatprime
+0 -0
Y'all some classicists.
Y'all some classicists.
couchfortress
+0 -0
apparently, scansion is not nearly as important as pretension is.
apparently, scansion is not nearly as important as pretension is.
sje46
+0 -0
I have no assetbarrista on this computer? Was that directed to me? Sorry for learning a dead language and trying to not fail my class. =/
I have no assetbarrista on this computer? Was that directed to me? Sorry for learning a dead language and trying to not fail my class. =/
tripleg
+3 -0
don't worry sje, i have assetbarrista and he was talking to me, although i'm not sure whence the unfounded accusations of pretension at a perfectly legitimate question. hey couchfortress, here's some unpretentious english: go fuck yourself.
don't worry sje, i have assetbarrista and he was talking to me, although i'm not sure whence the unfounded accusations of pretension at a perfectly legitimate question. hey couchfortress, here's some unpretentious english: go fuck yourself.
couchfortress
+0 -0
wow!
wow!
belgand
+0 -0
I thought I said long, short, short. My mistake.
I thought I said long, short, short. My mistake.
couchfortress
+0 -0
he already warned you that he was not going to meet the goals of the commission. let him work on his new house. that was a very fine quote.
he already warned you that he was not going to meet the goals of the commission. let him work on his new house. that was a very fine quote.
belgand
+0 -0
I'm not going to fault the man, but I still have the sad duty of saying that he did, technically, fail. Sometimes a failure can be noble. This is definitely the case.
I'm not going to fault the man, but I still have the sad duty of saying that he did, technically, fail. Sometimes a failure can be noble. This is definitely the case.
smilebuddha
+4 -0
Darlene and Lyle are
defunct
who used to
swap mouthfuls of the malt
liquor
and break onetwothreefourfive teethjustlikethat
Jesus
she was a hideous "woman"
and what i want to know is
how do you like your shaggy haired girl
Mister Onstad
Darlene and Lyle are
defunct
who used to
swap mouthfuls of the malt
liquor
and break onetwothreefourfive teethjustlikethat
Jesus
she was a hideous "woman"
and what i want to know is
how do you like your shaggy haired girl
Mister Onstad
tripleg
+0 -0
bitch don't take cunt pills
player don't wear gunny sack
fat round toad goes plop
bitch don't take cunt pills
player don't wear gunny sack
fat round toad goes plop
jaldor
+0 -0
He gets extra bonus points for maintaining the iambic pentameter.
He gets extra bonus points for maintaining the iambic pentameter.
fireking
+23 -0
Ladies and gentlemen.
Almost seven years later, the mystery of this hat is about to be explained.
Chris Onstad, you are my hero.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Almost seven years later, the mystery of this hat is about to be explained.
Chris Onstad, you are my hero.
daidai
+0 -0
THOP
THOP
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
tite. tite. dat is tite noticin', fireking.
also, cute hamtaro. yaaaaaaay hammies~
(i swear to God i'm not a 12-year-old girl.)
tite. tite. dat is tite noticin', fireking.
also, cute hamtaro. yaaaaaaay hammies~
(i swear to God i'm not a 12-year-old girl.)
saulbellow
+0 -0
oh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhubbied
oh shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhubbied
daedala_x
+3 -0
and to think all these years i imagined it as
[IMGS OFF]
and to think all these years i imagined it as
[IMGS OFF]
stereo
+1 -0
There's a pretty good reason he didn't have a picture of her.
There's a pretty good reason he didn't have a picture of her.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i don't know if your picture means anything.
i don't know if your picture means anything.
wozzeck
+0 -0
In heaven, everything is fine, fine, fine, all the ever-lovin' time.
In heaven, everything is fine, fine, fine, all the ever-lovin' time.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You've got your good thing and I've got mine.
You've got your good thing and I've got mine.
wozzeck
+1 -0
On second thought, I do believe Darlene may be the infant for Eraserhead all grown up and somehow alive.
On second thought, I do believe Darlene may be the infant for Eraserhead all grown up and somehow alive.
sje46
+0 -0
OOOOHHhhhh
How could anyone see that clearly?
OOOOHHhhhh
How could anyone see that clearly?
boheeka
+0 -0
Severe chubby.
Just... severe.
Severe chubby.
Just... severe.
kickstart
+0 -0
Everyone's assignment this weekend is to see Heavy Metal Parking Lot (Priest in suburban Maryland, but still)
Everyone's assignment this weekend is to see Heavy Metal Parking Lot (Priest in suburban Maryland, but still)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
No.
Everyone's assignment is to go see Tokyo Gore Police and tell me if it is any good. Lyle would approve.
No.
Everyone's assignment is to go see Tokyo Gore Police and tell me if it is any good. Lyle would approve.
belgand
+0 -0
It should be coming in from Netflix early next week actually. Just give me a bit of time.
I thought that The Machine Girl was pretty awesome and Yo-Yo Girl Cop (though I don't know why they didn't keep the original Sukeban Deka title or at least translate it literally) was pretty good, but could have been better.
It should be coming in from Netflix early next week actually. Just give me a bit of time.
I thought that The Machine Girl was pretty awesome and Yo-Yo Girl Cop (though I don't know why they didn't keep the original Sukeban Deka title or at least translate it literally) was pretty good, but could have been better.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Dude do you have such as a facebook or a myspace or something that we could be friends on, even such as a twitter page would be cool, because I feel like even though we disagree on a lot of things we would totally get along great.
Dude do you have such as a facebook or a myspace or something that we could be friends on, even such as a twitter page would be cool, because I feel like even though we disagree on a lot of things we would totally get along great.
sje46
+0 -0
DO NOT DO IT
(unless you want to)
DO NOT DO IT
(unless you want to)
belgand
+0 -0
No. I don't use any of those and I am rather strongly opposed to each of them. I have an account on Livejournal, but I haven't been using it as often lately.
No. I don't use any of those and I am rather strongly opposed to each of them. I have an account on Livejournal, but I haven't been using it as often lately.
rowboat
+5 -0
Oh, you've been using it, alright. It just has a different url now.
Oh, you've been using it, alright. It just has a different url now.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh haha.
Oh haha.
tekende
+0 -0
belgand is strongly opposed to something! I can hardly believe it.
belgand is strongly opposed to something! I can hardly believe it.
daedala_x
+0 -0
Machine Girl had heart. kinda felt like a modern day Azumi. it made me cry. it made me smile. Tokyo Gore Police was flashy and trashy, if you like that sort of thing. you know, where each scene feels like it came out of a music video? kinda like Repo!, but not that bad. i just really could have done without all the color-tinted high-contrast lighting and the in-your-face dynamic-panoramic camera angles. it be all IS THIS COOL ENOUGH DAEDALA IS THIS COOL ENOUGH and i'm all, NO .
i guess it had some moments, conceptually. and this girl with sewed up tits gave me a pretty huge phantom boner.
oh yea, tgh, didn't you say you're scared of bjs because you think the girl is gonna bite off your junk? i thought you felt that way BECAUSE you'd seen Tokyo Gore Police. a superior junk-biting film is The Killer Kondom, which, while made by Troma, is actually well acted, coherent, and serious where it should be. unlike that Tromeo and Juliet bullshit. ugh.
Machine Girl had heart. kinda felt like a modern day Azumi. it made me cry. it made me smile. Tokyo Gore Police was flashy and trashy, if you like that sort of thing. you know, where each scene feels like it came out of a music video? kinda like Repo!, but not that bad. i just really could have done without all the color-tinted high-contrast lighting and the in-your-face dynamic-panoramic camera angles. it be all IS THIS COOL ENOUGH DAEDALA IS THIS COOL ENOUGH and i'm all, NO .
i guess it had some moments, conceptually. and this girl with sewed up tits gave me a pretty huge phantom boner.
oh yea, tgh, didn't you say you're scared of bjs because you think the girl is gonna bite off your junk? i thought you felt that way BECAUSE you'd seen Tokyo Gore Police. a superior junk-biting film is The Killer Kondom, which, while made by Troma, is actually well acted, coherent, and serious where it should be. unlike that Tromeo and Juliet bullshit. ugh.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Was Repo! The Genetic Opera really that bad? AV Club keeps saying it's OK but tries too hard and frankly I love alt musicals but idk if I want to support anything with Paris Hilton in it.
Was Repo! The Genetic Opera really that bad? AV Club keeps saying it's OK but tries too hard and frankly I love alt musicals but idk if I want to support anything with Paris Hilton in it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Even porn.
Even porn.
tekende
+0 -0
Hush. Repo! was awesome.
Hush. Repo! was awesome.
belgand
+0 -0
I think the original Last House on the Left is generally considered to be the standard when we talk about junk-biting films.
Also, modern-day Azumi ? The manga isn't that old (1994) and the film just came out in 2003 (which I really want to see, but Netflix are dicks and have it listed, but not in stock) along with a sequel in 2005. Oh, wait, you mean setting-wise. Then yeah, I guess I could see that.
I think the original Last House on the Left is generally considered to be the standard when we talk about junk-biting films.
Also, modern-day Azumi ? The manga isn't that old (1994) and the film just came out in 2003 (which I really want to see, but Netflix are dicks and have it listed, but not in stock) along with a sequel in 2005. Oh, wait, you mean setting-wise. Then yeah, I guess I could see that.
falseprophet
+4 -0
Daedala_X's journal, March 14, 2009
...The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicans will look up and shout "IS THIS COOL ENOUGH"
...And I'll look down and whisper, "No."
Daedala_X's journal, March 14, 2009
...The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicans will look up and shout "IS THIS COOL ENOUGH"
...And I'll look down and whisper, "No."
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh, I'm scared about my girlfriend biting my junk off because one of her favorite movies is Teeth , the vagina dentata horror movie.
Oh, I'm scared about my girlfriend biting my junk off because one of her favorite movies is Teeth , the vagina dentata horror movie.
sje46
+0 -0
Let us sing the song "vagina dentata" to the tune of "hakuna matata"
Let us sing the song "vagina dentata" to the tune of "hakuna matata"
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Vagina Dentata means the opposite of no worries.
Vagina Dentata means the opposite of no worries.
sje46
+0 -0
There is a webcomic featuring this, but I can't google the terms with my sister behind me.
There is a webcomic featuring this, but I can't google the terms with my sister behind me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Sorry guys, I didn't realize it was gonna be so big.
That's what I said to her...and her!
Sorry guys, I didn't realize it was gonna be so big.
That's what I said to her...and her!
sje46
+0 -0
I would so "bang" them.
I would so "bang" them.
belgand
+0 -0
Redheads.
LOVE THEM.
Redheads.
LOVE THEM.
rowboat
+0 -0
It was funnier when sje said it. That art is like three assholes on fire.
It was funnier when sje said it. That art is like three assholes on fire.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well I just wanted to show everyone he was right, I probably should have just posted a link though. I'm sorry guys for showing you three fiery assholes.
Well I just wanted to show everyone he was right, I probably should have just posted a link though. I'm sorry guys for showing you three fiery assholes.
belgand
+0 -0
Sometimes vaginas really do have teeth in them.
Sometimes vaginas really do have teeth in them.
rowboat
+0 -0
This is the one hundered fifty-sixth Assetbar link on which I will never, ever click.
This is the one hundered fifty-sixth Assetbar link on which I will never, ever click.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
We will inscribe those words on your tombstone, Rowboat.
Quote:
We will inscribe those words on your tombstone, Rowboat.
Quote:
"Rowboat would not click on the vital Affetbar link that could have faved his Lyfe."
rowboat
+0 -0
I will proudly lay down my life with my 4chan cherry intact.
I will proudly lay down my life with my 4chan cherry intact.
belgand
+0 -0
It's not an image, it's a text piece on dermoid cysts. A bit fluffy, but it's the best I could find while still being lazy as hell.
It's not an image, it's a text piece on dermoid cysts. A bit fluffy, but it's the best I could find while still being lazy as hell.
rowboat
+0 -0
Nice try. Not clickin' it.
Nice try. Not clickin' it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
half of these kids showed up for Church the next day still on Mars. especially miss 'yeah. hell yeah! yeah.' girl.
i'd like to see this movie spliced with some concerts from now. i wonder how different it would look...
half of these kids showed up for Church the next day still on Mars. especially miss 'yeah. hell yeah! yeah.' girl.
i'd like to see this movie spliced with some concerts from now. i wonder how different it would look...
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It would depend. Warped is kinda like that at times. One of the first sets on the Mainstage that day I went three kids passed out right by me and they were definitely smoking something that wasn't tobacco.
It would depend. Warped is kinda like that at times. One of the first sets on the Mainstage that day I went three kids passed out right by me and they were definitely smoking something that wasn't tobacco.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
man, that is one gig i finally want to make it to this year.
(what am i saying. i say that every year. i never go. i never want to go. nevermind)
man, that is one gig i finally want to make it to this year.
(what am i saying. i say that every year. i never go. i never want to go. nevermind)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Even though 95% of the bands are horribly shitty it is worth it for the 5% of the bands that generally give a shit about music and art and having a good time.
Plus motherfucking THRICE is one of the headlining acts this year. So fucking stoked.
Even though 95% of the bands are horribly shitty it is worth it for the 5% of the bands that generally give a shit about music and art and having a good time.
Plus motherfucking THRICE is one of the headlining acts this year. So fucking stoked.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
one of my good friends told me Thrice is the best live show he's ever seen. if they're headlining i'll cough up the fifty-five dollars to mill around like cattle. (i still don't know man...i've heard horror stories from the Pepsi Center...)
one of my good friends told me Thrice is the best live show he's ever seen. if they're headlining i'll cough up the fifty-five dollars to mill around like cattle. (i still don't know man...i've heard horror stories from the Pepsi Center...)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I believe it, it's a shame that the headlines only get something like 30 minutes to play though, because Thrice is probably mainly only going to play the fruity art shit from their last two cds and I really want to hear Image of the Invisible or really anything from Vhessiu live, and they ALWAYS tour with awesome bands but only seem to make it as far as the House of Blues in Downtown Disney before they just leave Florida forever.
I believe it, it's a shame that the headlines only get something like 30 minutes to play though, because Thrice is probably mainly only going to play the fruity art shit from their last two cds and I really want to hear Image of the Invisible or really anything from Vhessiu live, and they ALWAYS tour with awesome bands but only seem to make it as far as the House of Blues in Downtown Disney before they just leave Florida forever.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i really liked the first two volumes of The Alchemy Index. i sold the second half the day after i bought it.
i haven't heard anything from Vhessiu...but have all of their other albums and it is so good to hear it.
i really liked the first two volumes of The Alchemy Index. i sold the second half the day after i bought it.
i haven't heard anything from Vhessiu...but have all of their other albums and it is so good to hear it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Vhessiu is so brilliant and yeah the first half off Alchemy is really good because it explores the dichotomy of Thrice really well (balancing the hardcore with the weird electronic-esque shit) but then the last half is just Kensrue's acoustic stuff basically.
Vhessiu is so brilliant and yeah the first half off Alchemy is really good because it explores the dichotomy of Thrice really well (balancing the hardcore with the weird electronic-esque shit) but then the last half is just Kensrue's acoustic stuff basically.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah. favorite tracks from the first are Firebreather, Digital Sea (which has a rad music video , everybody) and The Whaler.
yeah. favorite tracks from the first are Firebreather, Digital Sea (which has a rad music video , everybody) and The Whaler.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
for those just tuning in this is the "cpnglxynchos and theguitarhero talk music" hour.
for those just tuning in this is the "cpnglxynchos and theguitarhero talk music" hour.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
we probably shoulda moved this to Facebook. eh.
we probably shoulda moved this to Facebook. eh.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Eh, it was relevant to the conversation in as such that there wasn't really a conversation, and I didn't really have much to say besides My feelings on Thrice are pro.
Eh, it was relevant to the conversation in as such that there wasn't really a conversation, and I didn't really have much to say besides My feelings on Thrice are pro.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and we are in agreement.
Proceed.
and we are in agreement.
Proceed.
daedala_x
+0 -0
you mean Vheissu wasn't fruity art shit? i mean all that aimless tinkering and clear singing. dear god save me from that awful clear singing. you know another awesome band that too much clear singing ruined? Alexisonfire. goddamn was their self-titled album light years ahead of its time. and is it me or did thrice stop writing catchy riffs in vheissu? all acoustic-y and shit.
doesn't thrice headline at warped tour like every year? i remember seeing them there, and they played deadbolt. so fucking fun. i wouldn't pay $55, though. as i recall, during their set there were lots of plastic drink bottles on the ground and people were hell of throwing them at each other. still better than the mud flinging that goes on at ozzfest, i guess. i saw them again at a small indoor venue for $12. i am of the opinion that outdoor events are always annoying as fuck. the people suck and the acoustics suck. the only reason to go is to people-watch/get watched.
daedala still listens to:
deadbolt
see you in the shallows
betrayal is a symptom
in years to come
to awake and avenge the dead
identity crisis
unquestioned answers
t & c
paper tigers
silhouette
the melting point of wax
under a killing moon
all that's left
you mean Vheissu wasn't fruity art shit? i mean all that aimless tinkering and clear singing. dear god save me from that awful clear singing. you know another awesome band that too much clear singing ruined? Alexisonfire. goddamn was their self-titled album light years ahead of its time. and is it me or did thrice stop writing catchy riffs in vheissu? all acoustic-y and shit.
doesn't thrice headline at warped tour like every year? i remember seeing them there, and they played deadbolt. so fucking fun. i wouldn't pay $55, though. as i recall, during their set there were lots of plastic drink bottles on the ground and people were hell of throwing them at each other. still better than the mud flinging that goes on at ozzfest, i guess. i saw them again at a small indoor venue for $12. i am of the opinion that outdoor events are always annoying as fuck. the people suck and the acoustics suck. the only reason to go is to people-watch/get watched.
daedala still listens to:
deadbolt
see you in the shallows
betrayal is a symptom
in years to come
to awake and avenge the dead
identity crisis
unquestioned answers
t & c
paper tigers
silhouette
the melting point of wax
under a killing moon
all that's left
theguitarhero
+0 -0
They weren't their last year. Anberlin and Say Anything were the big headliners last year. Opted out of Anberlin and left Say Anything early because half the band wasn't there yet and I wanted to see another band.
They weren't their last year. Anberlin and Say Anything were the big headliners last year. Opted out of Anberlin and left Say Anything early because half the band wasn't there yet and I wanted to see another band.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Also Vhessiu is arty shit but there is a better blend between art and hardcore on that album and not on Vol. 3 and 4.
Also Vhessiu is arty shit but there is a better blend between art and hardcore on that album and not on Vol. 3 and 4.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i did not like Anberlin's new album besides three songs on it.
but i always cry when they play (*Fin) live.
i did not like Anberlin's new album besides three songs on it.
but i always cry when they play (*Fin) live.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Despite Anberlin being a local band I do not like them that much.
Most of the local music here is horrible.
Despite Anberlin being a local band I do not like them that much.
Most of the local music here is horrible.
belgand
+0 -0
The acoustics at most indoor venues also really suck. I don't think I've ever been to a single rock venue that had good sound.
The acoustics at most indoor venues also really suck. I don't think I've ever been to a single rock venue that had good sound.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The acoustics everywhere suck, but you don't go to Warped for the music you go for the experience or some shit like that.
I don't really like going to concerts anyway.
The acoustics everywhere suck, but you don't go to Warped for the music you go for the experience or some shit like that.
I don't really like going to concerts anyway.
rowboat
+0 -0
I went to the Warped tour in '98. Even with my relatively shitty taste in music at the time, I came away from it knowing that I would never attend another one for as long as I lived. Life has been pretty good since I made that decision.
I went to the Warped tour in '98. Even with my relatively shitty taste in music at the time, I came away from it knowing that I would never attend another one for as long as I lived. Life has been pretty good since I made that decision.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
my thrice mix goes like this: (thanks, winamp!)
1. Thrice - Identity Crisis (2:58)
2. Thrice - See You In The Shallows (2:35)
3. Thrice - Stare At The Sun (3:23)
4. Thrice - Paper Tigers (4:00)
5. Thrice - The Artist In The Ambulance (3:39)
6. Thrice - Ultra Blue (3:02)
7. Thrice - All That's Left (3:20)
8. Thrice - Silhouette (3:08)
9. Thrice - T & C (4:00)
10. Thrice - Cold Cash And Colder Hearts (2:53)
11. Thrice - A Subtle Dagger (1:48)
12. Thrice - To What End (3:04)
13. Thrice - The Whaler (4:08)
14. Thrice - Betrayal Is A Symptom (2:49)
15. Thrice - The Melting Point Of Wax (3:29)
16. Thrice - In Years To Come (2:16)
17. Thrice - Kill Me Quickly (2:46)
18. Thrice - Phoenix Ignition (3:31)
19. Thrice - Unquestioned Answers (4:23)
20. Thrice - A Living Dance Upon Dead Minds (3:32)
21. Thrice - Where Idols Once Stood (3:08)
22. Thrice - Firebreather (4:24)
23. Thrice - Trust (2:54)
24. Thrice - Digital Sea (3:44)
my thrice mix goes like this: (thanks, winamp!)
1. Thrice - Identity Crisis (2:58)
2. Thrice - See You In The Shallows (2:35)
3. Thrice - Stare At The Sun (3:23)
4. Thrice - Paper Tigers (4:00)
5. Thrice - The Artist In The Ambulance (3:39)
6. Thrice - Ultra Blue (3:02)
7. Thrice - All That's Left (3:20)
8. Thrice - Silhouette (3:08)
9. Thrice - T & C (4:00)
10. Thrice - Cold Cash And Colder Hearts (2:53)
11. Thrice - A Subtle Dagger (1:48)
12. Thrice - To What End (3:04)
13. Thrice - The Whaler (4:08)
14. Thrice - Betrayal Is A Symptom (2:49)
15. Thrice - The Melting Point Of Wax (3:29)
16. Thrice - In Years To Come (2:16)
17. Thrice - Kill Me Quickly (2:46)
18. Thrice - Phoenix Ignition (3:31)
19. Thrice - Unquestioned Answers (4:23)
20. Thrice - A Living Dance Upon Dead Minds (3:32)
21. Thrice - Where Idols Once Stood (3:08)
22. Thrice - Firebreather (4:24)
23. Thrice - Trust (2:54)
24. Thrice - Digital Sea (3:44)
belgand
+0 -0
In my experiences venue security almost never stops people from smoking pot, but if they're smoking tobacco they will be on your ass the instant you light up as pursuant with local laws prohibiting smoking in bars and clubs.
I find this a bit odd actually. Shouldn't that make pot, like, double-illegal?
In my experiences venue security almost never stops people from smoking pot, but if they're smoking tobacco they will be on your ass the instant you light up as pursuant with local laws prohibiting smoking in bars and clubs.
I find this a bit odd actually. Shouldn't that make pot, like, double-illegal?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Maybe in a closed venue but in an open air place like where Warped is held no one gives a shit.
Maybe in a closed venue but in an open air place like where Warped is held no one gives a shit.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
one of my friends went to a Tool concert at Red Rrocks and got second-hand high...and then paid fifty dollars for a shirt for a band whose concert she ended up sleeping through most of.
one of my friends went to a Tool concert at Red Rrocks and got second-hand high...and then paid fifty dollars for a shirt for a band whose concert she ended up sleeping through most of.
kickstart
+0 -0
I am pretty sure I got a contact high at The Mars Volta. There is no other reason I would be telling my date I was "a space ballerina." (Hopefully)
I am pretty sure I got a contact high at The Mars Volta. There is no other reason I would be telling my date I was "a space ballerina." (Hopefully)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the silliest thing to say...ever!
*el ka-bong*
the silliest thing to say...ever!
*el ka-bong*
belgand
+0 -0
A friend of mine took some 'shrooms before seeing Tool once. This was described as something that ought to be enshrined as a "bad idea".
A friend of mine took some 'shrooms before seeing Tool once. This was described as something that ought to be enshrined as a "bad idea".
tekende
+0 -0
Seeing Tool ought to be enshrined as a bad idea no matter what substances you may or may not have partaken in.
Seeing Tool ought to be enshrined as a bad idea no matter what substances you may or may not have partaken in.
tripleg
+0 -0
tekende easily claims belgand's schtick
tekende easily claims belgand's schtick
tekende
+0 -0
Well, I was being serious that time.
Well, I was being serious that time.
belgand
+0 -0
As I typically am as well. I'm not some goddamn Don Rickles rip-off... *cough* Martial *cough*.
As I typically am as well. I'm not some goddamn Don Rickles rip-off... *cough* Martial *cough*.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
i wonder if she never even calls Lyle by his name..
i wonder if she never even calls Lyle by his name..
aparrish
+0 -0
So was she just waiting outside McDonalds hoping that she could convince someone to buy her a Big Mac?
So was she just waiting outside McDonalds hoping that she could convince someone to buy her a Big Mac?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
She was just looking for a Big Mac.
And she found one!
She was just looking for a Big Mac.
And she found one!
saulbellow
+1 -0
are you saying that Lyle is a big mac
are you saying that Lyle is a big mac
theguitarhero
+1 -0
I'm saying that she was looking for someone to give her Good Dick and she found that in Lyle.
I'm saying that she was looking for someone to give her Good Dick and she found that in Lyle.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Have you seen that tiger's dick
Have you seen that tiger's dick
theguitarhero
+0 -0
He's hung like a giant cranberry.
He's hung like a giant cranberry.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is that a good thing or what theguitarhero I don't know tiger dick from Shinola
Is that a good thing or what theguitarhero I don't know tiger dick from Shinola
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it
I don't understand the question and I won't respond to it
nice-on-water
+1 -0
It's ok there's lots of thing lots of people don't know and we all turn out not horrible in the end I suppose just keep on keeping on TGH is all I can tell you good luck with your life and the lives of your nears and dears
It's ok there's lots of thing lots of people don't know and we all turn out not horrible in the end I suppose just keep on keeping on TGH is all I can tell you good luck with your life and the lives of your nears and dears
sje46
+0 -0
I wish that they would invent an italics typeface that leans to the left instead.
I wish that they would invent an italics typeface that leans to the left instead.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
That they'd call Gramscitalic.
That they'd call Gramscitalic.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
THE DISEASE IS INSIDE YOU.
THE DISEASE IS INSIDE YOU.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
linktalic.
linktalic.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That's just backwards thinking.
That's just backwards thinking.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
'keep on keepin' on' reminds me of a song by The Lo-Fidelity Allstars called 'What You Want'. look it up. it's fun music.
'keep on keepin' on' reminds me of a song by The Lo-Fidelity Allstars called 'What You Want'. look it up. it's fun music.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I guess I'm doing that right now because whenever someone suggests music that might be somewhat good, I am bound to look for it. That's not even sarcasm, I'm doing it right now, even though I'm almost through Abbey Road on iTunes.
I guess I'm doing that right now because whenever someone suggests music that might be somewhat good, I am bound to look for it. That's not even sarcasm, I'm doing it right now, even though I'm almost through Abbey Road on iTunes.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Can't find the little bugger :(
Can't find the little bugger :(
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
here is a sample .
you can hear the line soft in the background.
here is a sample .
you can hear the line soft in the background.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Sounds like good times. I'll be checking these mofos out more often possibly.
Sounds like good times. I'll be checking these mofos out more often possibly.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
it is good.
it is good electronic, vocoded music.
it is good.
it is good electronic, vocoded music.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Something we need more of because there is woefully almost none that is good.
I think this is a nice new perspective people can take.
The Old Way:
"Dude u liek rap"
"No rap sux"
The New Way:
"Dude u liek rap"
"No but only because I'm still waiting for the good stuff to come out."
(Caveat: I do not hate all rap)
Something we need more of because there is woefully almost none that is good.
I think this is a nice new perspective people can take.
The Old Way:
"Dude u liek rap"
"No rap sux"
The New Way:
"Dude u liek rap"
"No but only because I'm still waiting for the good stuff to come out."
(Caveat: I do not hate all rap)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
muck with 3oh!3 and mutha 'ucka's know they nex'.
muck with 3oh!3 and mutha 'ucka's know they nex'.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
3oh!3 was the band I skipped Anberlin for. There was nothing but 13 year olds there but I don't think they understood what was going on.
3oh!3 was the band I skipped Anberlin for. There was nothing but 13 year olds there but I don't think they understood what was going on.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeaahhh, gotta love the 303. 'specially 'cos it's my area code.
yeaahhh, gotta love the 303. 'specially 'cos it's my area code.
sje46
+0 -0
But they never offered any Beatles songs legally . ..
That must mean . . .
*gasp*
Pirate!
But they never offered any Beatles songs legally . ..
That must mean . . .
*gasp*
Pirate!
belgand
+0 -0
Yes.
[img]https://www.wildasia.net/images/380/16_tiger%20penis1.jpg[/i]
Yes.
[img]https://www.wildasia.net/images/380/16_tiger%20penis1.jpg[/i]
belgand
+0 -0
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, milkpants, IronDave, theguitarhero, ethelthefrog, sje46, cpnglxynchos, Tipist)
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by daidai, milkpants, IronDave, theguitarhero, ethelthefrog, sje46, cpnglxynchos, Tipist)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
AH GOD WHAT THE FUCK DUDE THERE IS SOMETHINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SHOW.
AH GOD WHAT THE FUCK DUDE THERE IS SOMETHINGS YOU SHOULDN'T SHOW.
belgand
+0 -0
It could be worse. Do you want me to find plushie pictures instead?
It could be worse. Do you want me to find plushie pictures instead?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Chubbied for the pun.
Chubbied for the pun.
belgand
+0 -0
Thank you. To me the pun almost made it worth being a complete fucking idiot who can't make a simple goddamned img link work.
Thank you. To me the pun almost made it worth being a complete fucking idiot who can't make a simple goddamned img link work.
everything
+0 -0
that is dog shit
that is dog shit
belgand
+0 -0
Actually, it is tiger dick, but thank you for playing.
Actually, it is tiger dick, but thank you for playing.
nice-on-water
+2 -0
FUCK
As penance you should suck that.
FUCK
As penance you should suck that.
invidious
+0 -0
Damn, Darlene looks tore up from the floor up. You'll note Lyle didn't wear glasses when he was younger, and I'll bet he had on a pretty good pair of Beer/Jack/SoCo googles 23.5 out of every 24 hours.
Damn, Darlene looks tore up from the floor up. You'll note Lyle didn't wear glasses when he was younger, and I'll bet he had on a pretty good pair of Beer/Jack/SoCo googles 23.5 out of every 24 hours.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
At that point Lyle figured out how to wake up with the gin in him, but unfortunately that also caused him to forget the secret on how to do that.
At that point Lyle figured out how to wake up with the gin in him, but unfortunately that also caused him to forget the secret on how to do that.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Where do I find these googles, sir?
Where do I find these googles, sir?
invidious
+0 -0
Aw shit
Aw shit
fermatprime
+0 -0
Lyle is lying out his face; he totally eats where he shits. Literally, probably.
Lyle is lying out his face; he totally eats where he shits. Literally, probably.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
depends on if he blew his last week's paycheck at a gentleman's club or not.
depends on if he blew his last week's paycheck at a gentleman's club or not.
metatronatra
+1 -0
It must have been Judas Priest Friday that humid night in Florida
It must have been Judas Priest Friday that humid night in Florida
varnish
+0 -0
Death Steve doesn't peel the skin off like some people do. The skin's the best part!
Death Steve doesn't peel the skin off like some people do. The skin's the best part!
desert_donkey
+0 -0
regardless of the nastiness going on, they're still poundin' a cold one after work in a hot nasty parking lot. who among us has not gone there and reveled in the moment?
i am glad it's Friday and this cat is definitely gonna hook up a grip o' suds on the way home.
*CHEERS* Lyle, wherever you may roam.
regardless of the nastiness going on, they're still poundin' a cold one after work in a hot nasty parking lot. who among us has not gone there and reveled in the moment?
i am glad it's Friday and this cat is definitely gonna hook up a grip o' suds on the way home.
*CHEERS* Lyle, wherever you may roam.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That creature's lip in panel 8 is doing my stomach up something terrible, like a Jumbo Hole Chili Foot-long.
That creature's lip in panel 8 is doing my stomach up something terrible, like a Jumbo Hole Chili Foot-long.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Although...
I don't like the callback to the 2001 comic. It's funnier with that piece of history left in the dark, I think. Anyone? BELGAND WHAT DO YOU THINK
Although...
I don't like the callback to the 2001 comic. It's funnier with that piece of history left in the dark, I think. Anyone? BELGAND WHAT DO YOU THINK
theguitarhero
+1 -0
YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE OF MY OPINIONS.
YOU ARE WRONG BECAUSE OF MY OPINIONS.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I AM RIGHT BECAUSE OF MINE
World History 101
I AM RIGHT BECAUSE OF MINE
World History 101
jimts
+7 -0
Glad to see Onstad still managed to make today Judas Priest Friday.
Glad to see Onstad still managed to make today Judas Priest Friday.
adahn
+0 -0
Lyle only drinks with his eyes closed.
Lyle only drinks with his eyes closed.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
'you don't like drinkin' it. you only like holding something the cops will fight you for.'
i probably misquoted. whatever. i feel ill.
'you don't like drinkin' it. you only like holding something the cops will fight you for.'
i probably misquoted. whatever. i feel ill.
sje46
+0 -0
I'd like to wet the lips in panel eight.
I'd like to wet the lips in panel eight.
iwannacum
+4 -2
Correct. I wanna cum.
Correct. I wanna cum.
dillricesow
+0 -0
Wow. Wow. Wow. I just understood from this strip that that that's ACTUALLY Lyle in "The Story of Lyle". I thought those were his parents, (the "Where did Lyle come from?" story) but it's actually him.
Way to go, slugger.
Wow. Wow. Wow. I just understood from this strip that that that's ACTUALLY Lyle in "The Story of Lyle". I thought those were his parents, (the "Where did Lyle come from?" story) but it's actually him.
Way to go, slugger.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Unless, this is Back to the Future .
Unless, this is Back to the Future .
falseprophet
+0 -1
Lyle was not born. He was forged in the fires of a dying star; a lost ship cast out from a maelstrom of dust and cold and wind and voices silenced by the darkness of space. A cosmic accident destined to occur by the union of the near-impossible probability, and the sheer poetic justice of its randomness. There was no logical name and yet there could be no other name
than Lyle.
Lyle was not born. He was forged in the fires of a dying star; a lost ship cast out from a maelstrom of dust and cold and wind and voices silenced by the darkness of space. A cosmic accident destined to occur by the union of the near-impossible probability, and the sheer poetic justice of its randomness. There was no logical name and yet there could be no other name
than Lyle.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
This makes the comment you made on the last strip about Lyle's mom make a lot more sense.
This makes the comment you made on the last strip about Lyle's mom make a lot more sense.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Different person.
Different person.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
Nah I think it's the same. Now that it has some sense and an honest mistake in it, I still think it was a funny post.
Nah I think it's the same. Now that it has some sense and an honest mistake in it, I still think it was a funny post.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Darlene is already way more awesome than Polly.
Long as she doesn't start making fun of Ray for going to an opera with hip hop in his headphones we'll be straight.
Darlene is already way more awesome than Polly.
Long as she doesn't start making fun of Ray for going to an opera with hip hop in his headphones we'll be straight.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
don't you mean we b skrate, dogg! ?
don't you mean we b skrate, dogg! ?
theguitarhero
+1 -1
sorry, my years in public school have given me Poor Ideas about how actual black people talk. I mean no offense to you. You are my friend on Facebook and that is the greatest social contract any two people can form legally.
sorry, my years in public school have given me Poor Ideas about how actual black people talk. I mean no offense to you. You are my friend on Facebook and that is the greatest social contract any two people can form legally.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
for two of the same gender, at least.
for two of the same gender, at least.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
sorry lesbian best friend.
sorry lesbian best friend.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
no my friend, this is greater even than marriage.
no my friend, this is greater even than marriage.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
You like these italics don't you.
::pun/racist joke re: Italians::
You like these italics don't you.
::pun/racist joke re: Italians::
theguitarhero
+0 -0
SPICY MEATBALLS.
LOVE-A THEM.
MAMA MIA.
SPICY MEATBALLS.
LOVE-A THEM.
MAMA MIA.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
MEATBALLS. LOVE-A DEM. SPICY.
MEATBALLS. LOVE-A DEM. SPICY.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
she's Italian, too.
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.
she's Italian, too.
daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
And as long as she develops some character beyond "Vague Deep Southern White Trash Chick."
And as long as she develops some character beyond "Vague Deep Southern White Trash Chick."
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Vague Deep Southern White Trash Chick 14: Backwoods Log-Jammin'!
Vague Deep Southern White Trash Chick 14: Backwoods Log-Jammin'!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Goddamn boy, reply quicker why don'tcha?
Also I once got that tape in the case for "Stand By Me" from Hollywood Video.
Goddamn boy, reply quicker why don'tcha?
Also I once got that tape in the case for "Stand By Me" from Hollywood Video.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Sure.
Sure.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You caught me. :(:(:(
You caught me. :(:(:(
wozzeck
+0 -0
You have strange ideas about what it means to be a lady.
You have strange ideas about what it means to be a lady.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
People who go to opera with hip-hop in their headphones are not to be made fun of, they are to be pitied.
And then whacked to death with the heavy, bonded-paper programs given out at good operas.
People who go to opera with hip-hop in their headphones are not to be made fun of, they are to be pitied.
And then whacked to death with the heavy, bonded-paper programs given out at good operas.
tothevictor10
+3 -0
i must say. when i joined this assetbar. i thought i would feel out of place and not understand most of the jokes you all made. and yet. i have laughed deeply at these comments, which is a relief, as i have now read every achewood enough times, that the website only makes me laugh at new comics/the rare occasion i find a strip i have overlooked/only read once/forgot about.
but as it pertains to this comic, i am personally enthralled to finally find out about lyle. he is a man of mystery. and special-pasta-bowl-man-douches.
i must say. when i joined this assetbar. i thought i would feel out of place and not understand most of the jokes you all made. and yet. i have laughed deeply at these comments, which is a relief, as i have now read every achewood enough times, that the website only makes me laugh at new comics/the rare occasion i find a strip i have overlooked/only read once/forgot about.
but as it pertains to this comic, i am personally enthralled to finally find out about lyle. he is a man of mystery. and special-pasta-bowl-man-douches.
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
welcome to Assetbar. Acheworld. Assetbarrio.
wipe your feet.
welcome to Assetbar. Acheworld. Assetbarrio.
wipe your feet.
sje46
+0 -0
You can make a comparison to the stupidity of 4chan and call it something like /ab/ but that might be going too far.
You can make a comparison to the stupidity of 4chan and call it something like /ab/ but that might be going too far.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
we aren't all that stupid here, but the one song where the lady goes 'i can't take you anywhere' afterwards kinda makes us lose half a level.
we aren't all that stupid here, but the one song where the lady goes 'i can't take you anywhere' afterwards kinda makes us lose half a level.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
for a second i thought i'd spelled it 'loose' and i got scared.
for a second i thought i'd spelled it 'loose' and i got scared.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i have no idea what i was talking about here.
i was not drunk. at all.
i have no idea what i was talking about here.
i was not drunk. at all.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Glad to have you. It's good to hear from a fresh set of eyes that we are not as repugnant as we seem. I wanna cum.
Glad to have you. It's good to hear from a fresh set of eyes that we are not as repugnant as we seem. I wanna cum.
belgand
+0 -0
Cum in those fresh, young eyes. We must defile them.
One of us! One of us!
Cum in those fresh, young eyes. We must defile them.
One of us! One of us!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves!
Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves! Two men enter! One man leaves!
octafish
+0 -0
Bust a deal, face the wheel!
Bust a deal, face the wheel!
tothevictor10
+0 -0
not exactly fresh. i mean. i cut off my comment cause my porn finished downloading. big tits at school by the way. in case you were wondering.
not exactly fresh. i mean. i cut off my comment cause my porn finished downloading. big tits at school by the way. in case you were wondering.
tothevictor10
+0 -0
lame this to death. i no longer find my statement funny.
lame this to death. i no longer find my statement funny.
sje46
+5 -0
Is there another assetbar?
Oh yeah, there are. But you have to join.
I can't wait until assetbar is more popular than
Twitter, which people keep saying it's going to be (this is the beta version, apparently). And in the future, when there are college courses offered about it, people will ask the professor just what are the origins of this great all pervasive porta-to-the-stars, and the professor will sigh, put his head in his hands and mumble "What news from the north?"
Is there another assetbar?
Oh yeah, there are. But you have to join.
I can't wait until assetbar is more popular than
Twitter, which people keep saying it's going to be (this is the beta version, apparently). And in the future, when there are college courses offered about it, people will ask the professor just what are the origins of this great all pervasive porta-to-the-stars, and the professor will sigh, put his head in his hands and mumble "What news from the north?"
sje46
+0 -0
This professor will be Achilleselbow.
This professor will be Achilleselbow.
barrylegg
+1 -2
Wow, he really dropped the drawing ball on panels 5, 7 & 8. I mean, that's bad drawing for him, even.
Wow, he really dropped the drawing ball on panels 5, 7 & 8. I mean, that's bad drawing for him, even.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
YOU'RE ARE BAD DRAWING.
YOU'RE ARE BAD DRAWING.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OH MAN. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT.
OH MAN. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
12 oz. Mouse.
nothing to write home about.
12 oz. Mouse.
nothing to write home about.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I knew what it was, my WTF was at my, once again, poor writing abilities.
12 oz. is surreal shit but just so surreal I do not understand nor care to understand and basically just spend the entire time yelling at the tv asking it why it isn't playing Sealab 2021 or even a Family Guy rerun, anything to sooth the burning in my frontal lobe.
I knew what it was, my WTF was at my, once again, poor writing abilities.
12 oz. is surreal shit but just so surreal I do not understand nor care to understand and basically just spend the entire time yelling at the tv asking it why it isn't playing Sealab 2021 or even a Family Guy rerun, anything to sooth the burning in my frontal lobe.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
Squidbillies!
Squidbillies!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
also, SuperJail is some crazy business, too.
also, SuperJail is some crazy business, too.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ah man I was even thinking of Squidbillies too. I usually only ever see the one where the weird porcupine dude reads "The Lottery" to them, and Grandmas gets pulled apart by trucks.
Haven't seen SuperJail, actually, and probably won't because I'm saving my Adult Swim viewing for when Venture Bros comes back. I'm gonna end up having to watch all of Tim and Eric off torrents like I did last season though. Maybe if they released the DVD sets in timely fashion I WOULDN'T HAVE TO. HINT HINT.
Ah man I was even thinking of Squidbillies too. I usually only ever see the one where the weird porcupine dude reads "The Lottery" to them, and Grandmas gets pulled apart by trucks.
Haven't seen SuperJail, actually, and probably won't because I'm saving my Adult Swim viewing for when Venture Bros comes back. I'm gonna end up having to watch all of Tim and Eric off torrents like I did last season though. Maybe if they released the DVD sets in timely fashion I WOULDN'T HAVE TO. HINT HINT.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the episode of SuperJail that is my favorite is called "Terrorarium" and the Time Police two-parter, all of which you can find on adultswim.com
the episode of SuperJail that is my favorite is called "Terrorarium" and the Time Police two-parter, all of which you can find on adultswim.com
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
yeah..too many hair lines going on.
yeah..too many hair lines going on.
deafwhisperer
+0 -0
I like to think this is an effect of Lyle's faulty memory - his type of diet would do that. See how her left shoulder seems to be shrugging him off already, all stills of her, even from back when she happened unto him, marred by the pain of the breakup.
I like to think this is an effect of Lyle's faulty memory - his type of diet would do that. See how her left shoulder seems to be shrugging him off already, all stills of her, even from back when she happened unto him, marred by the pain of the breakup.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I am hoping that this is the beginning of a pleasing trend towards strips about Darlene which don't display her downstairs mixup.
I am hoping that this is the beginning of a pleasing trend towards strips about Darlene which don't display her downstairs mixup.
paperboy_2000
+15 -0
WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN, GOD GRANTS YOU ONE WISH
N-n-n-no frikkin' way! What d-d-d-did ya wish for?
I ASKED TO HAVE A HOT DOG NAMED AFTER ME!
WHEN YOU GET TO HEAVEN, GOD GRANTS YOU ONE WISH
N-n-n-no frikkin' way! What d-d-d-did ya wish for?
I ASKED TO HAVE A HOT DOG NAMED AFTER ME!
benthecartoon
+0 -0
I caught that too, and want to give this comment lots of chubbies.
I caught that too, and want to give this comment lots of chubbies.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Ooh, the explanation point almost ruins it.
Ooh, the explanation point almost ruins it.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
explanation point? you know what? forget what I said
explanation point? you know what? forget what I said
m3tanoia
+0 -0
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=07022007
lyle's a mcdonald's man
https://achewood.com/index.php?date=07022007
lyle's a mcdonald's man
everything
+0 -1
This strip is sorta like a Tom Waits song. Hell for that matter, a lot of Achewood strips take after that Tom Waits style of romanticizing the burlesque underbelly of American life, often with that nostalgic imagery of the past, and especially with that clever surrealism and abstraction and rhythm and rhyme in not only the arrangement of the words but also in the arrangement of the concepts formed by the words.
Well the smart money's on Harlow
And the moon is in the street
The shadow boys are breaking all the laws
And you're ease of East St. Louis
and the wind is making speeches
And the rain sounds like a round of applause
Napoleon is weeping
In the Carnival Saloon
His invisible fiance's in the mirror
And the band is going home
It's raining hammers, it's raining nails
It's true there's nothing left for him down here
This style is more than just a catchy sound or gimmic... it's multi-layered, it's dynamic, it's alive and complex. There has been talk now and again of Onstad hitting his peak, of him having left his best material behind him. Well haven't we all. I don't know anything first hand about music making or comic strip making, but it certainly seems like Onstad's style, like Tom Wait's style, has a lot of potential. For those of you who haven't met Mr. Waits, I'd like to post a bit of his rambling, and I hope it's not off topic, nor a distraction nor disrespectful to Onstad to compare him to someone he's obviously not a clone of, regardless of who that might be. I'm just pointing out a similarity which I perceive. No doubt those more literate and insightful than myself could compare/contrast the two's styles much better than I could. It's been a while since English 101, for me.
This strip is sorta like a Tom Waits song. Hell for that matter, a lot of Achewood strips take after that Tom Waits style of romanticizing the burlesque underbelly of American life, often with that nostalgic imagery of the past, and especially with that clever surrealism and abstraction and rhythm and rhyme in not only the arrangement of the words but also in the arrangement of the concepts formed by the words.
Well the smart money's on Harlow
And the moon is in the street
The shadow boys are breaking all the laws
And you're ease of East St. Louis
and the wind is making speeches
And the rain sounds like a round of applause
Napoleon is weeping
In the Carnival Saloon
His invisible fiance's in the mirror
And the band is going home
It's raining hammers, it's raining nails
It's true there's nothing left for him down here
This style is more than just a catchy sound or gimmic... it's multi-layered, it's dynamic, it's alive and complex. There has been talk now and again of Onstad hitting his peak, of him having left his best material behind him. Well haven't we all. I don't know anything first hand about music making or comic strip making, but it certainly seems like Onstad's style, like Tom Wait's style, has a lot of potential. For those of you who haven't met Mr. Waits, I'd like to post a bit of his rambling, and I hope it's not off topic, nor a distraction nor disrespectful to Onstad to compare him to someone he's obviously not a clone of, regardless of who that might be. I'm just pointing out a similarity which I perceive. No doubt those more literate and insightful than myself could compare/contrast the two's styles much better than I could. It's been a while since English 101, for me.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Jesus, what are you, a critic for the New Yorker?
Jesus, what are you, a critic for the New Yorker?
everything
+0 -2
https://anti.com/catalog/view/69/Orphans
(should this be bold? What the hell...)
When I was small I always thought that songwriters sat alone at upright pianos in cramped smoky little rooms with a bottle and an ashtray and everything came in the window blew through them and came out of the piano as a song... and in a weird way that is exactly what happens.
What's Orphans? I don't know. Orphans is a dead end kid driving a coffin with big tires across the Ohio River wearing welding goggles and a wife beater with a lit firecracker in his ear.
At the center of this record is my voice. I try my best to chug, stomp, weep, whisper, moan, wheeze, scat, blurt, rage, whine, and seduce. With my voice, I can sound like a girl, the boogieman, a Theremin, a cherry bomb, a clown, a doctor, a murderer - I can be tribal. Ironic. Or disturbed. My voice is really my instrument.
Kathleen and I wanted the record to be like emptying our pockets on the table after an evening of gambling, burglary, and cow tipping. We enjoy strange couplings, that's how we got together. We wanted Orphans to be like a shortwave radio show where the past is sequenced with the future, consisting of things you find on the ground, in this world and no world, or maybe the next world. Whatever you imagine that to be.
If a record really works at all, it should be made like a homemade doll with tinsel for hair and seashells for ears stuffed with candy and money. Or like a good woman's purse with a Swiss army knife and a snake bite kit.
Orphans contains songs for all occasions. Some of the songs were written in turmoil and recorded at night in a moving car, others were written in hotel rooms and recorded in Hollywood during big conflamas. That's when conflict weds drama. At any rate these are the ones that survived the flood and were rescued from the branches of trees after the water's retreat.
Gathering all this material together was like rounding up chickens at the beach. It's not like you go into vault and check out what you need. Most of it was lost or buried under the house. Some of the tapes I had to pay ransom for to a plumber in Russia. You fall into the vat. We started to write just to climb out of the vat. Then you start listening and sorting and start writing in response to what you hear. And more recording. And then you get bit by a spider, go down the gopher hole, and make a whole different record. That was the process pretty much the last three years.
Then we met Karl Derfler, a wizard engineer who works at Bay Side Studios in Richmond, CA, in the science fiction part of town. A battlefield medic, he did a Lazarus on a number of the songs and recorded all the new material.
On Orphans there is a mambo about a convict who breaks out of jail with a fishbone, a gospel train song about Charlie Whitman and John Wilkes Boothe, a delta blues about a disturbing neighbor, a spoken word piece about a woman who was struck by lightening, an 18th century Scottish madrigal about murderous sibling rivalry, an American backwoods a cappella about a hanging. Even a song by Jack Kerouac and a spiritual with my own personal petition to the Lord with prayer.. There's even a show tune about an old altar boy and a rockabilly song about a young man who's begging to be lied to.
I think you will find more singing and dancing here than usual. But I hope fans of more growling, more warbling, more barking, more screeching won't be disappointed either.
Tom Waits
August 2006
https://anti.com/catalog/view/69/Orphans
(should this be bold? What the hell...)
When I was small I always thought that songwriters sat alone at upright pianos in cramped smoky little rooms with a bottle and an ashtray and everything came in the window blew through them and came out of the piano as a song... and in a weird way that is exactly what happens.
What's Orphans? I don't know. Orphans is a dead end kid driving a coffin with big tires across the Ohio River wearing welding goggles and a wife beater with a lit firecracker in his ear.
At the center of this record is my voice. I try my best to chug, stomp, weep, whisper, moan, wheeze, scat, blurt, rage, whine, and seduce. With my voice, I can sound like a girl, the boogieman, a Theremin, a cherry bomb, a clown, a doctor, a murderer - I can be tribal. Ironic. Or disturbed. My voice is really my instrument.
Kathleen and I wanted the record to be like emptying our pockets on the table after an evening of gambling, burglary, and cow tipping. We enjoy strange couplings, that's how we got together. We wanted Orphans to be like a shortwave radio show where the past is sequenced with the future, consisting of things you find on the ground, in this world and no world, or maybe the next world. Whatever you imagine that to be.
If a record really works at all, it should be made like a homemade doll with tinsel for hair and seashells for ears stuffed with candy and money. Or like a good woman's purse with a Swiss army knife and a snake bite kit.
Orphans contains songs for all occasions. Some of the songs were written in turmoil and recorded at night in a moving car, others were written in hotel rooms and recorded in Hollywood during big conflamas. That's when conflict weds drama. At any rate these are the ones that survived the flood and were rescued from the branches of trees after the water's retreat.
Gathering all this material together was like rounding up chickens at the beach. It's not like you go into vault and check out what you need. Most of it was lost or buried under the house. Some of the tapes I had to pay ransom for to a plumber in Russia. You fall into the vat. We started to write just to climb out of the vat. Then you start listening and sorting and start writing in response to what you hear. And more recording. And then you get bit by a spider, go down the gopher hole, and make a whole different record. That was the process pretty much the last three years.
Then we met Karl Derfler, a wizard engineer who works at Bay Side Studios in Richmond, CA, in the science fiction part of town. A battlefield medic, he did a Lazarus on a number of the songs and recorded all the new material.
On Orphans there is a mambo about a convict who breaks out of jail with a fishbone, a gospel train song about Charlie Whitman and John Wilkes Boothe, a delta blues about a disturbing neighbor, a spoken word piece about a woman who was struck by lightening, an 18th century Scottish madrigal about murderous sibling rivalry, an American backwoods a cappella about a hanging. Even a song by Jack Kerouac and a spiritual with my own personal petition to the Lord with prayer.. There's even a show tune about an old altar boy and a rockabilly song about a young man who's begging to be lied to.
I think you will find more singing and dancing here than usual. But I hope fans of more growling, more warbling, more barking, more screeching won't be disappointed either.
Tom Waits
August 2006
rowboat
+1 -0
"I hope it's not off topic..."
You didn't hope for any such thing and you damn well know it. The only thing you hoped for was to use five hundred words or more to ultimately imply that you've met Tom Waits.
"I hope it's not off topic..."
You didn't hope for any such thing and you damn well know it. The only thing you hoped for was to use five hundred words or more to ultimately imply that you've met Tom Waits.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
everything is Tom Waits.
Tom Waits is everything.
everything is Tom Waits.
Tom Waits is everything.
rowboat
+0 -0
If everything is Tom Waits, I'm your girlfriend.
If everything is Tom Waits, I'm your girlfriend.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
THEN WHO WAS PHONE???
THEN WHO WAS PHONE???
theguitarhero
+0 -0
What's it to ya, underpants?
What's it to ya, underpants?
belgand
+0 -1
Hey now man, that's not cool at all. You're not fat.
Hey now man, that's not cool at all. You're not fat.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok that just crosses the line.
Ok that just crosses the line.
belgand
+0 -0
I thought you said that you had a thing for the larger ladies and that your girlfriend was among their number. I mean, yes, there was certainly some friendly insult intended, but I tried to make it correlate only with the truth as it has been revealed to me.
If that was not correct, please accept your choice of replacement insults about your girlfriend or, if that is still unacceptable, a more pedestrian insult about your inability to please a woman sexually or such, as dictated by the times.
I thought you said that you had a thing for the larger ladies and that your girlfriend was among their number. I mean, yes, there was certainly some friendly insult intended, but I tried to make it correlate only with the truth as it has been revealed to me.
If that was not correct, please accept your choice of replacement insults about your girlfriend or, if that is still unacceptable, a more pedestrian insult about your inability to please a woman sexually or such, as dictated by the times.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Oh man, now I feel like a douche. You are right, I forgot I said that. Unfortunately I can't take back the lame I gave, but please take the fact that I am close to double digit lames on a single comment for the first time ever as some token of forgiveness.
Oh man, now I feel like a douche. You are right, I forgot I said that. Unfortunately I can't take back the lame I gave, but please take the fact that I am close to double digit lames on a single comment for the first time ever as some token of forgiveness.
sje46
+0 -0
Not pantheism, panwaitsism?
Not pantheism, panwaitsism?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Tom Waits is grungiest song played on most out-of-tune piano.
Tom Waits is grungiest song played on most out-of-tune piano.
tekende
+0 -0
This doesn't imply that the poster met Tom Waits, since this is either from the liner notes or a press release (I forget which, but I've read this before).
This doesn't imply that the poster met Tom Waits, since this is either from the liner notes or a press release (I forget which, but I've read this before).
everything
+0 -0
I found it on the internets
I found it on the internets
rowboat
+0 -0
Quote:
I guess it could go either way, but surely you can see why I thought that.
Quote:
For those of you who haven't met Mr. Waits....
I guess it could go either way, but surely you can see why I thought that.
belgand
+0 -0
Lyle was, at the time, still an ass man, but we have seen no ass yet. Based on her general appearance I do not think she would meet the normal criteria typically required of the average ass man. Is she so much his ideal love that she transcends this?
Oh, and what happened to OhNoRobot! ? We used to have it on the older strips, but not the newer ones. It would really make searching the archives a lot easier... as it is it is basically not something that is even remotely possible.
Lyle was, at the time, still an ass man, but we have seen no ass yet. Based on her general appearance I do not think she would meet the normal criteria typically required of the average ass man. Is she so much his ideal love that she transcends this?
Oh, and what happened to OhNoRobot! ? We used to have it on the older strips, but not the newer ones. It would really make searching the archives a lot easier... as it is it is basically not something that is even remotely possible.
sje46
+0 -0
But he is a hole man now?
But he is a hole man now?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
He is a whole man in this strip.
He is a whole man in this strip.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Happy %u03C0 Day everyone!
Happy %u03C0 Day everyone!
hamscout
+0 -0
ONE = Ratio of the strangeness of the link to the magnitude of the fail.
ONE = Ratio of the strangeness of the link to the magnitude of the fail.
sje46
+0 -0
I thought those kids in the beginning were conjoined for a second there.
I thought those kids in the beginning were conjoined for a second there.
mattylite
+0 -0
Man what the fuck assetbar you can say %u03C0 but you can't say ?
(the blank space was supposed to be a PLUS damnit)
Man what the fuck assetbar you can say %u03C0 but you can't say ?
(the blank space was supposed to be a PLUS damnit)
aperson
+0 -0
Does %u002B work with assetbarista?
Does %u002B work with assetbarista?
aperson
+0 -0
It does!
It does!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Only if you meant to say Percent u Double Zero 2B.
Only if you meant to say Percent u Double Zero 2B.
tekende
+0 -0
It...it's a plus sign.
How?
How did you do this?
It...it's a plus sign.
How?
How did you do this?
sje46
+0 -0
I CANT SEE IT
I HAVE NO
ASSET
BARRRRRIIIIIISSSSTTTTAAAA\
AAA
ah
*cough*
*jerks off*
I CANT SEE IT
I HAVE NO
ASSET
BARRRRRIIIIIISSSSTTTTAAAA\
AAA
ah
*cough*
*jerks off*
sje46
+0 -0
I don't know what this is. I don't know why I wrote it.
I don't know what this is. I don't know why I wrote it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You are very skilled at typing with one hand.
You are very skilled at typing with one hand.
sje46
+0 -0
years of practice, son
(at chatropolis.com)
years of practice, son
(at chatropolis.com)
rowboat
+0 -0
If it doesn't work without Assetbarista, it doesn't actually work.
If it doesn't work without Assetbarista, it doesn't actually work.
sje46
+0 -0
I don't understand what you're saying.
I don't understand what you're saying.
sje46
+0 -0
What doesn't work?
What doesn't work?
rowboat
+0 -0
The plus sign that to us appears as %u002B. I'm calling bullshit on it.
The plus sign that to us appears as %u002B. I'm calling bullshit on it.
mattylite
+0 -0
WHOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA wait wait here is just a plus:
and here is Percent u Double Zero 2B: %u002b
This could change everything.
WHOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA wait wait here is just a plus:
and here is Percent u Double Zero 2B: %u002b
This could change everything.
aperson
+0 -0
rowboat is outside the matrix.
rowboat is outside the matrix.
aperson
+0 -0
sje's penis?
sje's penis?
aperson
+0 -0
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
%u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b assetbarista %u002b %u002b %u002b %u002b
mattylite
+0 -0
I came.
I came.
octafish
+0 -0
For the rest of the weekend I'm going to eat apples like they were heads.
For the rest of the weekend I'm going to eat apples like they were heads.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
There's some King Piss milk in the fridge while you're at it.
There's some King Piss milk in the fridge while you're at it.
stereo
+0 -0
I also shaved a cat and left the hair in your toaster.
I also shaved a cat and left the hair in your toaster.
daidai
+0 -0
...Kobe Bryant?
...Kobe Bryant?
desert_donkey
+0 -0
when you see someone eating something that looks gross, i recommend you say to them:
Quote:
when you see someone eating something that looks gross, i recommend you say to them:
Quote:
That looks like it came out of a cat's ass.
overman
+0 -0
Is that a franchise?
Is that a franchise?
everything
+0 -0
this message board reminds me today of the silent parts of 2001: A Space Odyssey
this message board reminds me today of the silent parts of 2001: A Space Odyssey
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Let me break the silence for you:
Daisy daisy give me your answer due . . .
Let me break the silence for you:
Daisy daisy give me your answer due . . .
stereo
+0 -0
I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. . .
I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. . .
belgand
+1 -0
I guess Saturday is now called Sunday.
I guess Saturday is now called Sunday.
sje46
+0 -0
Onstad does not understand the day of the shabbos. Good boychik he is not.
(Wait, is Yoda Jewish?)
Onstad does not understand the day of the shabbos. Good boychik he is not.
(Wait, is Yoda Jewish?)
belgand
+0 -0
I am thinking you got that wrong. He did not, so far as I can tell, toil on the sabbath. Shame he couldn't have been bothered to put it up Saturday night at least.
I am thinking you got that wrong. He did not, so far as I can tell, toil on the sabbath. Shame he couldn't have been bothered to put it up Saturday night at least.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The funny thing is he even dropped the ball on the premium users too. Weren't the strips going to run first on there Thursday and Friday and then here Friday and Saturday?
The funny thing is he even dropped the ball on the premium users too. Weren't the strips going to run first on there Thursday and Friday and then here Friday and Saturday?
belgand
+0 -0
Did he? I originally said something about that, but I checked and in the preview box it looked like they had been shafted as well so I didn't want to make a deal of it.
I wish he'd stop doing these double strips though. If he just split them up he'd have a buffer ready to go next time. I wonder how much time he spends trying to finish up extra material to make up for being late with the original.
I think we've all learned to have patience, but if you do not give a dude a hard time who would we be? Is way of dudes being friendly, yes? All with the alpha dog nature and such. Until someone takes it to a far distance and manatee is endink up dead.
Did he? I originally said something about that, but I checked and in the preview box it looked like they had been shafted as well so I didn't want to make a deal of it.
I wish he'd stop doing these double strips though. If he just split them up he'd have a buffer ready to go next time. I wonder how much time he spends trying to finish up extra material to make up for being late with the original.
I think we've all learned to have patience, but if you do not give a dude a hard time who would we be? Is way of dudes being friendly, yes? All with the alpha dog nature and such. Until someone takes it to a far distance and manatee is endink up dead.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Exactly. I know it's been said a billion times in a billion different ways but I wish he would just NOT give himself deadlines. I mean, I never read the news part of Achewood so I only know there is an update when there is an update on the RSS Feed, but I'm tired of everyone bitching and then I check and then I get pissed and it just escalates.
Exactly. I know it's been said a billion times in a billion different ways but I wish he would just NOT give himself deadlines. I mean, I never read the news part of Achewood so I only know there is an update when there is an update on the RSS Feed, but I'm tired of everyone bitching and then I check and then I get pissed and it just escalates.
fermatprime
+0 -0
Well, Yogurt is.
Well, Yogurt is.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Funny, he doesn't look Druish!
Funny, he doesn't look Druish!
irondave
+0 -0
Shomer fucking shabbos.
Shomer fucking shabbos.
sje46
+0 -0
This is a few blocks away from Ray's house, found on front page of Reddit:
https://local.yahoo.com/info-21379565-cardinal-barber-shop-palo-alto
This is a few blocks away from Ray's house, found on front page of Reddit:
https://local.yahoo.com/info-21379565-cardinal-barber-shop-palo-alto
nice-on-water
+0 -0
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ONSTAD
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ONSTAD
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Maybe he should become sponsored by a popular fast food chain so as to alleviate pressure to perform.
Maybe he should become sponsored by a popular fast food chain so as to alleviate pressure to perform.
sje46
+0 -0
I love that. I read the first third or so of the strip. I don't know why I stopped reading it in the first place.
I love that. I read the first third or so of the strip. I don't know why I stopped reading it in the first place.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That made me laugh so hard last week. It was the funniest pfsc arc (2 comics constitutes an arc) I've read since I don't know when.
That made me laugh so hard last week. It was the funniest pfsc arc (2 comics constitutes an arc) I've read since I don't know when.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think the first one made my laugh harder than the second one, just because of the idea of someone throwing someone a party for having lupus. That's so pfsc. The blog he did on Livejournal after that one, however, made me laugh harder than anything.
I think the first one made my laugh harder than the second one, just because of the idea of someone throwing someone a party for having lupus. That's so pfsc. The blog he did on Livejournal after that one, however, made me laugh harder than anything.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I loved the color and the arm-curling-ness of the second though. Basically everything he did last week was just the best.
I loved the color and the arm-curling-ness of the second though. Basically everything he did last week was just the best.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also KC is getting in on the act, in the midst of his little Watchmen kick.
https://gunshowcomic.com/
Also KC is getting in on the act, in the midst of his little Watchmen kick.
https://gunshowcomic.com/
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I mean No.
I mean No.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Oh Rorschach!
Oh Rorschach!
stereo
+0 -0
I hate to bag on humour so I'll just say that I do not care about pfsc.
KC Green on the other hand...
I hate to bag on humour so I'll just say that I do not care about pfsc.
KC Green on the other hand...
autrepoupee
+0 -0
oh cool this strip is still up
see it has taken me about four or five days to actually get through the thing, so it is actually pretty sweet that Onstad has given us time
oh cool this strip is still up
see it has taken me about four or five days to actually get through the thing, so it is actually pretty sweet that Onstad has given us time
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Did you go to school in Florida?
Did you go to school in Florida?
autrepoupee
+1 -0
school?
well, take a look at Professor Egghead!
school?
well, take a look at Professor Egghead!
seffirth11
+0 -0
Damn, has Achewood become like the Mcdonalds of webcomics? At least in terms of how everyone knows about it now but no one likes it. Also its owner has comepletely ruined any fanbase it originally had by treating its 'customers' like people who can't read (a damn deadline [set by themselves no less!]) What the hell does this hack think he's doing properly?!?
(Sorry, long time achewood fan, brokenhearted over Onstads new 'chock-full-of-lies' update style)
Damn, has Achewood become like the Mcdonalds of webcomics? At least in terms of how everyone knows about it now but no one likes it. Also its owner has comepletely ruined any fanbase it originally had by treating its 'customers' like people who can't read (a damn deadline [set by themselves no less!]) What the hell does this hack think he's doing properly?!?
(Sorry, long time achewood fan, brokenhearted over Onstads new 'chock-full-of-lies' update style)
sje46
+0 -0
I like mcDonad's . .and it's the fast-food place of choice for the people I know who eat fast food.
Criticizing Onstad for his deadlines is getting a little passe now. I should create a site dedicated entirely to this topic, so you guys would shush.
I like mcDonad's . .and it's the fast-food place of choice for the people I know who eat fast food.
Criticizing Onstad for his deadlines is getting a little passe now. I should create a site dedicated entirely to this topic, so you guys would shush.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Belgand is going to come here and say "You guys are dissing Onstad all wrong. The best way to do it is to make fun of his mother and his stupid haircut and then spit in his face."
Belgand is going to come here and say "You guys are dissing Onstad all wrong. The best way to do it is to make fun of his mother and his stupid haircut and then spit in his face."
belgand
+0 -0
I have endured the slings and arrows of this new meme long enough sirrah! I demand SATISFACTION!
We shall settle this in the manner of gentlemen, presuming you are capable of such a thing. Mamas at dawn!
I have endured the slings and arrows of this new meme long enough sirrah! I demand SATISFACTION!
We shall settle this in the manner of gentlemen, presuming you are capable of such a thing. Mamas at dawn!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hey for a while everyone was posting insect snuff porn about me, so I think we are even.
Hey for a while everyone was posting insect snuff porn about me, so I think we are even.
belgand
+0 -0
I had doppelganger porn. Try again.
I had doppelganger porn. Try again.
rowboat
+0 -0
Your both welcome.
Your both welcome.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't want the welcome, rowboat, you can keep it.
I don't want the welcome, rowboat, you can keep it.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
autrepoupee smirks ever-so-wrly: "finally, twenty years of squatting on the domain name 'whereistheoutrage-chrisonstadfails2deliveronpromisesAGAIN.biz' pays off!" somewhere, sje's shudders; someone has walked over his pauper's-pinebox grave, penniless from his former acquisition. The video headstone is a still image, of a young man weeping; first with joy, than with infinite sadness.
autrepoupee smirks ever-so-wrly: "finally, twenty years of squatting on the domain name 'whereistheoutrage-chrisonstadfails2deliveronpromisesAGAIN.biz' pays off!" somewhere, sje's shudders; someone has walked over his pauper's-pinebox grave, penniless from his former acquisition. The video headstone is a still image, of a young man weeping; first with joy, than with infinite sadness.
stereo
+0 -0
A bowl of hot and sour soup cools, wontons uneaten. In the other room, an old man has swallowed his last pill.
A bowl of hot and sour soup cools, wontons uneaten. In the other room, an old man has swallowed his last pill.
belgand
+0 -0
McDonald's is pretty much on the bottom of fast food places that I might patronize. The oh-so-trendy In-n-Out Burger goes pretty high on the list with Carl's Jr. (though I grew up with Hardees) and Burger King coming in next.
Really, unless I have to consider something like Checkers or Red Barn McDonald's is going to go to the bottom. Below even Wendy's which can have a certain charm at times. Typically times when I want a slab of grease that has been forcibly congealed into a hamburger-like shape.
McDonald's is pretty much on the bottom of fast food places that I might patronize. The oh-so-trendy In-n-Out Burger goes pretty high on the list with Carl's Jr. (though I grew up with Hardees) and Burger King coming in next.
Really, unless I have to consider something like Checkers or Red Barn McDonald's is going to go to the bottom. Below even Wendy's which can have a certain charm at times. Typically times when I want a slab of grease that has been forcibly congealed into a hamburger-like shape.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think I've eaten Checkers twice and once was only because they were getting food anyway so there was no point in not getting it. I would never actually pay to eat there, same with Sonic.
If we had In-n-Out's or Whattaburger's here in my neck of the woods I'd be so fucking fat. The only hip trendy hamburger place here is Steak-N-Shake, which might as well just be called Shake because their steakburgers are more like shitburgers.
I think I've eaten Checkers twice and once was only because they were getting food anyway so there was no point in not getting it. I would never actually pay to eat there, same with Sonic.
If we had In-n-Out's or Whattaburger's here in my neck of the woods I'd be so fucking fat. The only hip trendy hamburger place here is Steak-N-Shake, which might as well just be called Shake because their steakburgers are more like shitburgers.
belgand
+0 -0
YOU WILL TAKE THAT SHIT BACK RIGHT NOW GODDAMN IT!!!
Since when have they been hip or trendy though? I just knew they were awesome and were 24 hours. I wish there were more 24 hour places around. They are one of the very, very few things I miss about Kansas. The other being Yello Sub (aka Planet Sub outside of Lawrence).
Oh, and they have great chili.
YOU WILL TAKE THAT SHIT BACK RIGHT NOW GODDAMN IT!!!
Since when have they been hip or trendy though? I just knew they were awesome and were 24 hours. I wish there were more 24 hour places around. They are one of the very, very few things I miss about Kansas. The other being Yello Sub (aka Planet Sub outside of Lawrence).
Oh, and they have great chili.
rowboat
+0 -0
I transferred to a job in downtown St. Louis about a month ago. I soon after discovered Planet Sub and have eaten there no fewer than ten times in that span.
The midsection.... it grows.
I transferred to a job in downtown St. Louis about a month ago. I soon after discovered Planet Sub and have eaten there no fewer than ten times in that span.
The midsection.... it grows.
belgand
+0 -0
Planet Sub, cheddar instead of swiss, no tomatoes.
It is among the best things you can ever hope to put in your mouth. They need to go national. They'd put a serious dent in Quzinos and hopefully kill those Subway asshats.
I own a shirt. I own a shirt for damn toasted sub restaurant. If you'd eaten there you would understand.
Planet Sub, cheddar instead of swiss, no tomatoes.
It is among the best things you can ever hope to put in your mouth. They need to go national. They'd put a serious dent in Quzinos and hopefully kill those Subway asshats.
I own a shirt. I own a shirt for damn toasted sub restaurant. If you'd eaten there you would understand.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Maybe it's just with the circle I run with (the Publix baggers crew) but they always go there. I just like the shakes though, I am a Shake Man.
Maybe it's just with the circle I run with (the Publix baggers crew) but they always go there. I just like the shakes though, I am a Shake Man.
rowboat
+0 -0
Your ideas on this topic are very interesting and I love reading them. Please don't stop telling us how you feel about this. Please continue.
Your ideas on this topic are very interesting and I love reading them. Please don't stop telling us how you feel about this. Please continue.
belgand
+0 -0
I just realized looking at the sign that Jumbo Hole is "HJ", backwards. Now whether this is a reference to handjobs or Howard Johnson's (the roof does look kinda similar) I can't be certain, but I'm sure it's at least one, if not both.
I just realized looking at the sign that Jumbo Hole is "HJ", backwards. Now whether this is a reference to handjobs or Howard Johnson's (the roof does look kinda similar) I can't be certain, but I'm sure it's at least one, if not both.
fancypants
+0 -0
anyone else notice that molly's hairdresser (mentioned in blog) is also named darlene?
https://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2007/10/roast-beef-didnt-make-his-brother.html
anyone else notice that molly's hairdresser (mentioned in blog) is also named darlene?
https://mollysanders.blogspot.com/2007/10/roast-beef-didnt-make-his-brother.html
Jumbo Hole was Darlene's nickname in high school.
She peaked too early. :(
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, expellens, dangelder, RitardoMontabum, TheLoneliestMonkey, ActualTaunt, fancypants, IronDave, lateadopter)
Tell me about the emptiness.
Would you say it's a "Jumbo Hole"?
It's like a Jumbo Hole with a smaller Jumbo Hole inside, continuing onwards until the mass forms a Jumbo Black Hole.
I believe it is an essential component of the Commodore.
A jumbo hole with a smaller hole inside are the essential components of the Commode.
Either way, I do NOT wanna be in a "hobo bag". It sounds hella unhygienic.
I wonder how many people got that you were referring to the Achewood sex act and not the archaic computer system.
Such fine lines can get blurry.
18 months of therapy blurry. Never again...
That'd be real nice.
I chubby you for your avatar.
As gormster does I do
One does not simply take first post
Well, you can, but just don't do it easily
If I'd put easily in there I'd have lost a lot of the Tolkein : (
Tolkien SHIT FUCK MOTHER FUCK :/
She's got the classical good looks of a sheepdog's head on a eight-year-old boy's body.
Ew!
Speaking of "ew," there's an Internet rule that unfortunately probably has application here - I just forget what number it is.
34?
sometimes i'd like to see the whole internet rule list from one t(w)o whatever.
Here you go
aw shit Here
huh. how about that.
chubbed for spectacular avatar/comment synergy. less is more sometimes.
Huh. Must'a been one of those "runway models" or somethin.
She's more of a runaway model. Such as you might see in an American Apparel ad.
AA..such good shirts.
They looks good on girls, but I do not care for them for men. The arms are cut weirdly and I find the tailoring to be a bit too tight.
Too much of an emaciated hipster cut overall.
all my To Write Love On Her Arms merch is printed on AA and they are so sooooft and cozy-riffic.
shirts.
love 'em.
on me.
I didn't know they made clothes for boys.
Are you sure they do?
They make clothes boys can wear, anyway. If they want to.
They make clothes for all kinds of people.
Clothes for your body .
They are for people who enjoy having certain words written on the tags of their normal t-shirts.
They actually do have a slightly different cut and fit from, say, the fairly typical Hanes Beefy T. They also have a different, but more subtle feel as well.
Other than that they do actually produce them domestically and apparently treat their employees fairly well. Ignoring all the sexual harassment suits against Dov Charney and his apparent interest in jerking off in front of women and reporters.
I don't personally care for them and I don't like how their shirts look or fit me personally, but I can see why people would like them aside from merely the trendy aspect.
You say "jerking off in front of women and reporters" like it's a bad thing!
Seriously though, if we let the hang-ups of the CEOs of certain companies prevent us from buying stuff then no one would by Hustler or even Playboy ever.
When Hef knocks one out in front of a reporter I'll grant you the point.
Oh, so they're like Lane Bryant.
I think you should clarify whether you mean Shetland or Old English, otherwise this comment is just useless.
I meant a Polish Lowland sheepdog.
Like your mom.
Yes, but she is a bear, not a tiger.
At least she's not a cat
Darlene was first mentioned almost seven years ago
Mad continuity skills.
[and mad props to apocowarg for making the link the other way with such lighting speed]
I'm glad that he is doing this. We can use a little continuity in our lives.
Also:
I miss Penny. IS that the name of the girl that knit Teo's sweater? She has to get in touch with him again.
She stopped returning Téodor's calls after she hooked up with Archie.
Really?
I seem to recall she did.
I have been waiting for this moment ever since I first saw the "Darlene" hat. I am, as I type, violently bouncing up and down in excited anticipation. I do not know how I will get to sleep tonight.
My hats off to you for making the connection.