deepomega
+7 -0
Roast Beef's smile is worth way more than $6. Beef out-classes Ray once more.
Roast Beef's smile is worth way more than $6. Beef out-classes Ray once more.
sweetlips
+0 -0
Ray thought that amount out: Six is obviously the cutest number and Phillipe is obviously the cutest otter ergo it was completely heartfelt and, yes, classy.
Ray thought that amount out: Six is obviously the cutest number and Phillipe is obviously the cutest otter ergo it was completely heartfelt and, yes, classy.
wingspan
+7 -0
Lyle has never been prouder of the little otter.
Lyle has never been prouder of the little otter.
cracklewater
+8 -0
His fatherly/big brotherly feelings of pride are so new to him that that's a brand new drawing of Lyle's face, if I'm not mistaken.
His fatherly/big brotherly feelings of pride are so new to him that that's a brand new drawing of Lyle's face, if I'm not mistaken.
daidai
+0 -0
I like to think that Lyle would have had the same reaction regardless of who he saw standing behind him.
I like to think that Lyle would have had the same reaction regardless of who he saw standing behind him.
tworightfeet
+4 -0
you can tell philippe is hesitant to accept anything other than virtue as a reward.
you can tell philippe is hesitant to accept anything other than virtue as a reward.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
like the Scott Pilgrim
like the Scott Pilgrim
jeff
+0 -0
sweetlips
+4 -1
Holy fuck. Everyone look at Lyle's smile.
holyfuck.
Holy fuck. Everyone look at Lyle's smile.
holyfuck.
seffirth11
+0 -0
A comment left by seffirth11 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, mercuri0us, pnmclaug, Cormano, Ravigotte)
A comment left by seffirth11 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Thorfinn, mercuri0us, pnmclaug, Cormano, Ravigotte)
gormster
+6 -0
HE'S A FUCKING TIGER
HE'S A FUCKING TIGER
jaldor
+1 -0
Furthermore, his prior relationships with simians haven't been all that amiable .
Furthermore, his prior relationships with simians haven't been all that amiable .
mattylite
+1 -0
Do you think it's... simian fever ?
Do you think it's... simian fever ?
brokeaccount
+0 -0
Chubby purely for knowing 6FS.
Chubby purely for knowing 6FS.
drskradley
+0 -0
HOLYFUCK!
HOLYFUCK!
drskradley
+0 -0
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, logic, desert_donkey, cpnglxynchos, SurelySmack, Mendeleev)
A comment left by drskradley was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Lumus, logic, desert_donkey, cpnglxynchos, SurelySmack, Mendeleev)
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
we found your comment lame.
we found your comment lame.
drskradley
+0 -0
Extremely. Apparently nobody finds it as funny as I. Nary a chubby in sight; my post causing all even slightly phallic object to shrink away in disgust.
Extremely. Apparently nobody finds it as funny as I. Nary a chubby in sight; my post causing all even slightly phallic object to shrink away in disgust.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I just think it was because, much like nicknames, you can't really call "SYNCHRONISM" on yourself.
I just think it was because, much like nicknames, you can't really call "SYNCHRONISM" on yourself.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I chubbied it, belatedly. I get it.
I chubbied it, belatedly. I get it.
drskradley
+0 -0
Thank you. What TGH said was kind of the point of it. I did it partly because it was the opposite of the standard.
Thank you. What TGH said was kind of the point of it. I did it partly because it was the opposite of the standard.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Well you(or someone) could write a book on Frahm's signature "little-boy" leer as the same guy wearing many faces sees the panties fall from the same bottom of many different girls, he's nakedly thinking "HOLYFUCK!"
Oh, and the slightly dazed, astonished look on the girl's face saying nothing, and everything.
It's poetry, sorta.
Well you(or someone) could write a book on Frahm's signature "little-boy" leer as the same guy wearing many faces sees the panties fall from the same bottom of many different girls, he's nakedly thinking "HOLYFUCK!"
Oh, and the slightly dazed, astonished look on the girl's face saying nothing, and everything.
It's poetry, sorta.
belgand
+0 -0
Someone needs to create a Frahm-themed porno. Seriously people. We've had the same lame scenarios time and time again. We need something new. Yeah, occasionally we'll get some pin-up inspired stuff, but this isn't just a look, this is a whole concept. Get to it.
Someone needs to create a Frahm-themed porno. Seriously people. We've had the same lame scenarios time and time again. We need something new. Yeah, occasionally we'll get some pin-up inspired stuff, but this isn't just a look, this is a whole concept. Get to it.
aperson
+0 -0
Porn: "Oh hi" bonebonebone
Frahmporn: "Whoa your knickers fell off!" bonebonebone
Porn: "Oh hi" bonebonebone
Frahmporn: "Whoa your knickers fell off!" bonebonebone
belgand
+0 -0
But also with the accurate reproduction of the scenario, image, clothing, etc. It takes on a new dimension.
But also with the accurate reproduction of the scenario, image, clothing, etc. It takes on a new dimension.
dysphemism
+0 -0
That smile warmed my cockles like they have not been warmed in a decade at least.
It can't be right that the smile of an anthropomorphic stuffed tiger is capable of getting this kind of emotion from a self-reliant, well-balanced, adult man.
Damn you, Onstad. Damn you.
That smile warmed my cockles like they have not been warmed in a decade at least.
It can't be right that the smile of an anthropomorphic stuffed tiger is capable of getting this kind of emotion from a self-reliant, well-balanced, adult man.
Damn you, Onstad. Damn you.
sunday
+0 -0
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen him smile before today. This one is gold.
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen him smile before today. This one is gold.
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
I literally and extensively laughed out loud about this strip. This is maybe the funniest thing I have ever seen. But then again, I just painted a sinister lion-man in a suit standing in the jungle. Make your own conclusions.
I literally and extensively laughed out loud about this strip. This is maybe the funniest thing I have ever seen. But then again, I just painted a sinister lion-man in a suit standing in the jungle. Make your own conclusions.
jthm_guitarist
+0 -0
A comment left by jthm_guitarist was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Tigrath, igotnostrings, daidai, mattbeetee, invidious, SkiddyFisk, Stonecrab, logic, mrblank91, keir, fieryjack, Chachibenji, LRosetw8)
A comment left by jthm_guitarist was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Tigrath, igotnostrings, daidai, mattbeetee, invidious, SkiddyFisk, Stonecrab, logic, mrblank91, keir, fieryjack, Chachibenji, LRosetw8)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jthm_guitarist, QingofChina, Lumus)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jthm_guitarist, QingofChina, Lumus)
keir
+0 -0
A comment left by keir was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jthm_guitarist, equinn2006, Lumus)
A comment left by keir was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jthm_guitarist, equinn2006, Lumus)
belgand
+0 -0
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DavemanDeluxe, equinn2006, pnmclaug, desert_donkey)
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DavemanDeluxe, equinn2006, pnmclaug, desert_donkey)
keir
+7 -0
Heh! Oh, belgand. You big hot tranny mess.
Heh! Oh, belgand. You big hot tranny mess.
niggar
+1 -1
I got yo back jthm_guitarfag
I got yo back jthm_guitarfag
bixschmix
+2 -0
Every single aspect of your post screams "Classy!"
Every single aspect of your post screams "Classy!"
fermatprime
+0 -0
Heh! Oh, Philippe.
Heh! Oh, Philippe.
pppoa
+0 -0
Does this mean there are now more archived strips available to us lowly nonsubscribers? Should I go look? If I find some, do I get a prize? [Answer: Yes. ]
Does this mean there are now more archived strips available to us lowly nonsubscribers? Should I go look? If I find some, do I get a prize? [Answer: Yes. ]
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I doubt it, because the archive and the premium content are classified as two different things.
Goes back to my little idea, just lump it all together, charge me thirty bucks, let me see that shit for like--at least a year. I just hate subscriptions for some reason. Commitment.
I doubt it, because the archive and the premium content are classified as two different things.
Goes back to my little idea, just lump it all together, charge me thirty bucks, let me see that shit for like--at least a year. I just hate subscriptions for some reason. Commitment.
snatch22
+0 -0
Dude, I feel you entirely. I think it's not so much commitment, but rather the feeling that if you stop subscribing, you'll lose everything you paid for. Which is why I still buy CD's. Rhapsody can bite me.
Dude, I feel you entirely. I think it's not so much commitment, but rather the feeling that if you stop subscribing, you'll lose everything you paid for. Which is why I still buy CD's. Rhapsody can bite me.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Oh, Rhapsody
I miss my old days
Oh, Rhapsody
I miss my old days
rexsjain
+1 -0
Onstad too deserves $6 for making me smile today. and so do the beautiful people in the subscriber-only archive. thanks.
Onstad too deserves $6 for making me smile today. and so do the beautiful people in the subscriber-only archive. thanks.
blastradius
+0 -0
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by TripperDay, cunty, anemix23, rowboat, equinn2006, lateadopter, harry)
A comment left by blastradius was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by TripperDay, cunty, anemix23, rowboat, equinn2006, lateadopter, harry)
keir
+0 -0
It wasn't canon. Now it is. There aren't many subscriber only strips, not too many at all.
It wasn't canon. Now it is. There aren't many subscriber only strips, not too many at all.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by equinn2006, Stonecrab, lateadopter, harry)
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by equinn2006, Stonecrab, lateadopter, harry)
igotnostrings
+11 -0
"Canon relevant" and "canon" are two different things. Most of the comics that post in the premium area are cuts from the strips that are posted, little jokes that would've made a main strip too long, panels that didn't end up fitting, or strips that were started and then abandoned. Then there's the occasional "this is funny but doesn't actually make sense given the characters" entire strip, and the even more rare strip like this one, that could probably have been a main site strip on its own. All the same, the fact that a strip fits into the last category doesn't make it canon if it doesn't post on the main site.
Which is, incidentally, why I voted that this one should go to everyone. I very much want to be able to call everyone hot tranny messes and have them understand where I'm coming from.
"Canon relevant" and "canon" are two different things. Most of the comics that post in the premium area are cuts from the strips that are posted, little jokes that would've made a main strip too long, panels that didn't end up fitting, or strips that were started and then abandoned. Then there's the occasional "this is funny but doesn't actually make sense given the characters" entire strip, and the even more rare strip like this one, that could probably have been a main site strip on its own. All the same, the fact that a strip fits into the last category doesn't make it canon if it doesn't post on the main site.
Which is, incidentally, why I voted that this one should go to everyone. I very much want to be able to call everyone hot tranny messes and have them understand where I'm coming from.
berami
+0 -0
But of course its canon! When the cast later makes an inside refrence to young Phillipe's new catch phrase we no longer run the risk of being left confused and dismayed!
But of course its canon! When the cast later makes an inside refrence to young Phillipe's new catch phrase we no longer run the risk of being left confused and dismayed!
stereo
+0 -0
Or when Philippe gets mugged on the way to the bank, we will know why he was going.
Or when Philippe gets mugged on the way to the bank, we will know why he was going.
thedrizzle
+2 -0
No one would touch that cute little otter. Even if they tried, Philippe would be able to sort out the whole tranny mess. Because he is a special boy.
No one would touch that cute little otter. Even if they tried, Philippe would be able to sort out the whole tranny mess. Because he is a special boy.
berami
+1 -0
I can see it now. Phillipe skipping merrily towards the bank, a pair of Hamburgaler-eque cliche robbers lurking in the shadows...
"Shh!" one whispers to the other, "here comes a special boy!"
Aaaand, robbed.
I can see it now. Phillipe skipping merrily towards the bank, a pair of Hamburgaler-eque cliche robbers lurking in the shadows...
"Shh!" one whispers to the other, "here comes a special boy!"
Aaaand, robbed.
octafish
+1 -0
Beagle Boys
[IMGS OFF]
Beagle Boys
[IMGS OFF]
tekende
+0 -0
Yeah! Yeah! Uncle Scrooge references in my Assetbar! What a wonderful find.
Yeah! Yeah! Uncle Scrooge references in my Assetbar! What a wonderful find.
scorpio_nadir
+9 -0
It may be "canon relevant", but is it Cannon approved?
[IMGS OFF]
FRANK CANNON APPROVES THIS MESSAGE.
It may be "canon relevant", but is it Cannon approved?
[IMGS OFF]
FRANK CANNON APPROVES THIS MESSAGE.
berami
+0 -0
I guess so? It is now, anyways.
I guess so? It is now, anyways.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Glue a mustache on Phillipe and voila: Phillipe Cannon, P.I.
Thinking out loud-
Maybe that's where his detective story style comes from....
Glue a mustache on Phillipe and voila: Phillipe Cannon, P.I.
Thinking out loud-
Maybe that's where his detective story style comes from....
salvar
+0 -0
Doesn't look very approving to me...
Doesn't look very approving to me...
rowboat
+6 -0
You goddamned fucking people are still talking about this boring shit.
How come?
You goddamned fucking people are still talking about this boring shit.
How come?
fantabulous
+2 -1
Listen. Listen. Your opinion is not a national treasure. Okay? It is not an irreplacable resource. There is no shortage of opinions. People can say whatever the hell they want about your opinion. An opinion is not intrinsically worthy of respect. So don't get prissy-britches about it.
Listen. Listen. Your opinion is not a national treasure. Okay? It is not an irreplacable resource. There is no shortage of opinions. People can say whatever the hell they want about your opinion. An opinion is not intrinsically worthy of respect. So don't get prissy-britches about it.
tripperday
+1 -0
"In the soup?"
You been hanging out at the old folk's home?
Instead of getting high and mighty making a mountain out of a molehill, count your blessings before you end up between a rock and a hard place.
"In the soup?"
You been hanging out at the old folk's home?
Instead of getting high and mighty making a mountain out of a molehill, count your blessings before you end up between a rock and a hard place.
wrmeade
+1 -0
3.5 stars
Next time try and use cliches that are more out of date, like falling off of carts, buying bridges, or involving the phrase "shoeshine" or patently offensive turn-of-the-century racial stereotypes.
Nice effort though.
3.5 stars
Next time try and use cliches that are more out of date, like falling off of carts, buying bridges, or involving the phrase "shoeshine" or patently offensive turn-of-the-century racial stereotypes.
Nice effort though.
tripperday
+0 -0
Your advice is exactly what I was trying to do, but all I could come up with at the time were "bee's knees" and "cat's pajamas", which aren't even close to what I was trying to think of. Of course now I can think of several.
Chubbied for "shoeshine". "Nickel" works too.
Your advice is exactly what I was trying to do, but all I could come up with at the time were "bee's knees" and "cat's pajamas", which aren't even close to what I was trying to think of. Of course now I can think of several.
Chubbied for "shoeshine". "Nickel" works too.
belgand
+1 -0
Now you're on the trolley!
Now you're on the trolley!
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
I like the cut of this post's jib. 23-Skiddoo, kiddo!
I like the cut of this post's jib. 23-Skiddoo, kiddo!
wrmeade
+0 -0
I like the massive incongruity between old-school nautical lingo and nonsensical phrases from roaring 20's pop culture.
I like the massive incongruity between old-school nautical lingo and nonsensical phrases from roaring 20's pop culture.
belgand
+0 -0
Even worse is the conflicting meaning of "I enjoy this. Get out of here."
Even worse is the conflicting meaning of "I enjoy this. Get out of here."
wrmeade
+0 -0
Today is the day where I say all the punch lines!
Today is the day where I say all the punch lines!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
I visualize Bob bobbing and weaving, ducking punches like a carny contest, saying punchlines, pipe INTACT!
I visualize Bob bobbing and weaving, ducking punches like a carny contest, saying punchlines, pipe INTACT!
tekende
+0 -0
Is that what 23 skiddoo means? I always wondered.
Is that what 23 skiddoo means? I always wondered.
tangles
+0 -0
oh, bah. we can use this whole issue as an excuse to be angry or an excuse to be happy. i choose happiness.
achewood is phenomenal, and its fanbase is one of the best group of shiny happy phenomenal motherfuckers on the face of this earth!
oh, bah. we can use this whole issue as an excuse to be angry or an excuse to be happy. i choose happiness.
achewood is phenomenal, and its fanbase is one of the best group of shiny happy phenomenal motherfuckers on the face of this earth!
wolfensti
+0 -0
You damn right, my good man ! No people on the internet can shit laughing rainbows like we do.
You damn right, my good man ! No people on the internet can shit laughing rainbows like we do.
niggar
+0 -0
das right, say't again
das right, say't again
keir
+1 -2
SO GIVE HIM 6 BUCKS. You get two months for that.
SO GIVE HIM 6 BUCKS. You get two months for that.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I see your trap and I'm not falling for it.
I see your trap and I'm not falling for it.
daidai
+10 -0
Keir is the man with "Hogwarts Express" spray-painted on the side of his windowless van. He sits at the playground, but theguitarhero is not impressed.
Keir is the man with "Hogwarts Express" spray-painted on the side of his windowless van. He sits at the playground, but theguitarhero is not impressed.
aperson
+0 -0
He's not impressed, but he is bludgeoned into unconsciousness and bundled into the van anyway.
A guy can dream
He's not impressed, but he is bludgeoned into unconsciousness and bundled into the van anyway.
A guy can dream
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Keir:1.
theguitarhero:0.
Keir:1.
theguitarhero:0.
keir
+0 -0
My favourite pickup line is "get in the fucking van"
My favourite pickup line is "get in the fucking van"
belgand
+0 -0
"Come with me if you want to live" still works well. The inflection is important though and lets it transition well from helpful to threatening.
"Come with me if you want to live" still works well. The inflection is important though and lets it transition well from helpful to threatening.
tekende
+0 -0
Also good: "You know, if you really look into it, we're not actually related."
Also good: "You know, if you really look into it, we're not actually related."
keir
+0 -0
Also good: "Is your daddy a policeman? Cause you've got huge tits"
Also good: "Is your daddy a policeman? Cause you've got huge tits"
desert_donkey
+0 -0
shit. i meant to hit chubby.. that was funny. fuck.
shit. i meant to hit chubby.. that was funny. fuck.
falseprophet
+2 -0
You've been living life like a demon, always busting through whatever got in your way. Usin' teeth or fists or the steel in your eye, you could say you treat everybody equally because you don't give a damn all the same. But then there was that one barfight that started cause some little fag was lookin at you for a little too long, just when you were about to put the first nice cool bottle of beer to your lips and suddenly it looked like a dick in your mind, so you went up and smashed it over his head. And as he lay bleeding on the floor, you decided to pick up his wallet and steal whatever cash he had on hand. And then you see his driver's license and the last name, and his age, and his resemblance to the one sweet thing you ever held in your bulging, useless arms: the girl you left because, hey if we're really being honest here, you thought one day comin you'd crush her in your grip -- maybe not literally, but hell some kinda way. And with the legacy of that liaison starin up at you with fading eyes, you run. Run motherfucker. Run into the night, the darkness, the only place you feel at home. Because the light can't shine off any mirrors that make you look yourself in the face.
You're like the guy Immortal Technique was rapping about in "Dance With The Devil."
What did hate ever do for you, desert_donkey?
You've been living life like a demon, always busting through whatever got in your way. Usin' teeth or fists or the steel in your eye, you could say you treat everybody equally because you don't give a damn all the same. But then there was that one barfight that started cause some little fag was lookin at you for a little too long, just when you were about to put the first nice cool bottle of beer to your lips and suddenly it looked like a dick in your mind, so you went up and smashed it over his head. And as he lay bleeding on the floor, you decided to pick up his wallet and steal whatever cash he had on hand. And then you see his driver's license and the last name, and his age, and his resemblance to the one sweet thing you ever held in your bulging, useless arms: the girl you left because, hey if we're really being honest here, you thought one day comin you'd crush her in your grip -- maybe not literally, but hell some kinda way. And with the legacy of that liaison starin up at you with fading eyes, you run. Run motherfucker. Run into the night, the darkness, the only place you feel at home. Because the light can't shine off any mirrors that make you look yourself in the face.
You're like the guy Immortal Technique was rapping about in "Dance With The Devil."
What did hate ever do for you, desert_donkey?
desert_donkey
+0 -1
there's no way i wouldn't drink the bottle of beer, even if i thot it resembled a dick.
BEER: it's just that compelling.
there's no way i wouldn't drink the bottle of beer, even if i thot it resembled a dick.
BEER: it's just that compelling.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
and fuck you for bringing up beer. jeez. it's fucking 4 more hours 'til i can purse that sumptuous elixir so practically packaged in a cylindrical container with subtle hints of phalicness... just all dripping with cold glory and the endless possibilities of the night, bubbles bursting in my mouth as gold 'god' passes my lips, courses across my tongue and pounds the back of my throat rendering me .. uh.. blissfully stupid again ;)
and fuck you for bringing up beer. jeez. it's fucking 4 more hours 'til i can purse that sumptuous elixir so practically packaged in a cylindrical container with subtle hints of phalicness... just all dripping with cold glory and the endless possibilities of the night, bubbles bursting in my mouth as gold 'god' passes my lips, courses across my tongue and pounds the back of my throat rendering me .. uh.. blissfully stupid again ;)
rowboat
+0 -0
Yeah, don't bring up beer during work hours. You're gonna set my DTs to tremblin'. Not cool.
Yeah, don't bring up beer during work hours. You're gonna set my DTs to tremblin'. Not cool.
werewolves
+7 -0
This makes me sad at all the Achewood magic I'm missing because our great nation has decided it would be unwise to give my po' black ass a credit card.
This makes me sad at all the Achewood magic I'm missing because our great nation has decided it would be unwise to give my po' black ass a credit card.
gormster
+0 -0
You can pay with PayPal, for which you only need a bank account. Also, I got a Visa Debit, for which you really only need a job (because the credit limit is $0). Any job. Really, I get paid $100 a week and I got one. They didn't even ask how much I get paid.
You can pay with PayPal, for which you only need a bank account. Also, I got a Visa Debit, for which you really only need a job (because the credit limit is $0). Any job. Really, I get paid $100 a week and I got one. They didn't even ask how much I get paid.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Um. Because a debit card is just a checking account? Is the fact that they don't do a credit check surprising somehow?
Um. Because a debit card is just a checking account? Is the fact that they don't do a credit check surprising somehow?
belgand
+0 -0
Yeah. Basically every checking account anywhere gives you a debit card instead of an ATM card and has done so for quite a long period of time. Since at least '99 or so from even smaller banks. If I didn't live in a place where a disgusting number of places were cash-only I would basically use debit for almost every purchase no matter how small.
What we really need to get rid of is change though. Carrying around small bits of metal to pay for things? How thoroughly antiquated. I'm glad I don't live in a country with coins for low denominations of what ought to be bills.
Yeah. Basically every checking account anywhere gives you a debit card instead of an ATM card and has done so for quite a long period of time. Since at least '99 or so from even smaller banks. If I didn't live in a place where a disgusting number of places were cash-only I would basically use debit for almost every purchase no matter how small.
What we really need to get rid of is change though. Carrying around small bits of metal to pay for things? How thoroughly antiquated. I'm glad I don't live in a country with coins for low denominations of what ought to be bills.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm glad I don't live in a country where the 1 dollar denomination could legally be considered crack cocaine due to residuals
I'm glad I don't live in a country where the 1 dollar denomination could legally be considered crack cocaine due to residuals
wrmeade
+0 -0
Abolish the penny!
Abolish the penny!
belgand
+0 -0
Not just the penny, but I'd be happy with the abolition of the nickel as well. Basically all coins except the quarter. I then want the quarter turned into a bill.
Even better just let me make all of my transactions electronically with a small device used for this purpose or some sort of card.
I'm told that Japan, IIRC, uses aluminum for their lowest-denomination coin making it very cheap to produce and giving it a light, worthless feel appropriate to something of such little value. I approve strongly.
I see absolutely no need for pennies at all.
Not just the penny, but I'd be happy with the abolition of the nickel as well. Basically all coins except the quarter. I then want the quarter turned into a bill.
Even better just let me make all of my transactions electronically with a small device used for this purpose or some sort of card.
I'm told that Japan, IIRC, uses aluminum for their lowest-denomination coin making it very cheap to produce and giving it a light, worthless feel appropriate to something of such little value. I approve strongly.
I see absolutely no need for pennies at all.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Abolishing currency makes me leery about privacy issues.
Also, I lived in Europe for a time, so eh... I'm not all that fond of bills. I mean, they're useful for larger denominations, but they last a very short time (especially the lower-denomination ones, which see more wear), so they're massively less efficient. There's a reason why the Treasury's pushing the new $1 coins - they really would save billions. Also, denominations of the Euro have a two-euro coin, so you can get all increments up to the five-euro bill with two coints or less. It's really not that inconvenient, because you worry about where that shit goes. It's the small stuff that gets lost in the cracks.
Abolishing currency makes me leery about privacy issues.
Also, I lived in Europe for a time, so eh... I'm not all that fond of bills. I mean, they're useful for larger denominations, but they last a very short time (especially the lower-denomination ones, which see more wear), so they're massively less efficient. There's a reason why the Treasury's pushing the new $1 coins - they really would save billions. Also, denominations of the Euro have a two-euro coin, so you can get all increments up to the five-euro bill with two coints or less. It's really not that inconvenient, because you worry about where that shit goes. It's the small stuff that gets lost in the cracks.
belgand
+0 -0
No, it's ludicrously inconvenient. I can carry my wallet easily in my pocket and move it simply to a new pocket, but finding space for coins? Well, I either need to have some sort of bulky and unpleasant coin purse (that I will then have to hunt through because unlike bills I can't neatly organize them by denomination) or jam random wads of cash into pockets and seriously hope that I have a change pocket in them. A tiny little pocket that I can then fish around in and hope I happen to have the right coins.
Coins are really a terrible way to handle a currency.
Again, however, I loathe cash. I try to carry a maximum of $20 at any one time, but with so many places in SF being cash-only (and not just corner stores, but places where your restaurant bill will easily run $15-30 or worse) you're more or less screwed. Too many places seem to think that paying to use their janky unaffiliated ATMs somehow solves this problem, but there's no way in hell I'm going to pay to access my own money. They just want to pass the cost of the processing fee on to me and inflate it significantly over what they would pay. Cash is far too easy to lose or have stolen (the reason I carry so little of it). I mean, I've never actually lost my wallet, but I don't want the possibility to really be there.
I'm far less concerned about theoretical and, frankly, rather paranoid worries about privacy than I am about plain old-fashioned muggings and the supreme hassle that cash and fixed denomination bills so often are.
Give me a small wallet-sized device that can function as a combination digital money system with send/receive functionality and the ability to store local value, access to my bank, credit card (for those fools who still desire to senselessly incur debt), and multi-use ID/transit pass/passport and I'll be happy. Oh and put a small compartment into it, if possible, to store miscellaneous small papers and cards. This is clearly the way to go.
No, it's ludicrously inconvenient. I can carry my wallet easily in my pocket and move it simply to a new pocket, but finding space for coins? Well, I either need to have some sort of bulky and unpleasant coin purse (that I will then have to hunt through because unlike bills I can't neatly organize them by denomination) or jam random wads of cash into pockets and seriously hope that I have a change pocket in them. A tiny little pocket that I can then fish around in and hope I happen to have the right coins.
Coins are really a terrible way to handle a currency.
Again, however, I loathe cash. I try to carry a maximum of $20 at any one time, but with so many places in SF being cash-only (and not just corner stores, but places where your restaurant bill will easily run $15-30 or worse) you're more or less screwed. Too many places seem to think that paying to use their janky unaffiliated ATMs somehow solves this problem, but there's no way in hell I'm going to pay to access my own money. They just want to pass the cost of the processing fee on to me and inflate it significantly over what they would pay. Cash is far too easy to lose or have stolen (the reason I carry so little of it). I mean, I've never actually lost my wallet, but I don't want the possibility to really be there.
I'm far less concerned about theoretical and, frankly, rather paranoid worries about privacy than I am about plain old-fashioned muggings and the supreme hassle that cash and fixed denomination bills so often are.
Give me a small wallet-sized device that can function as a combination digital money system with send/receive functionality and the ability to store local value, access to my bank, credit card (for those fools who still desire to senselessly incur debt), and multi-use ID/transit pass/passport and I'll be happy. Oh and put a small compartment into it, if possible, to store miscellaneous small papers and cards. This is clearly the way to go.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Worries about privacy in an era of online banking and overwhelming prevalence of card-based transactions is hardly "paranoid." The government can, and does, track people's credit card purchases, ie when trying to catch criminals. It's NOT a far step from there to abuse of surveillance power.
And yeah, I wasn't saying that coins are more CONVENIENT (which, of course, is mostly because wallet design in America is bill-centric), but that they're not that unconvenient and that they're way more economical.
Worries about privacy in an era of online banking and overwhelming prevalence of card-based transactions is hardly "paranoid." The government can, and does, track people's credit card purchases, ie when trying to catch criminals. It's NOT a far step from there to abuse of surveillance power.
And yeah, I wasn't saying that coins are more CONVENIENT (which, of course, is mostly because wallet design in America is bill-centric), but that they're not that unconvenient and that they're way more economical.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
But....you are the penny of humanity, Belgand. There is no need for you either. You should cherish them, for there is-
No..
need..
for..
you..
either.
Is this Pick-on-Belgand Day on the calendar?
But....you are the penny of humanity, Belgand. There is no need for you either. You should cherish them, for there is-
No..
need..
for..
you..
either.
Is this Pick-on-Belgand Day on the calendar?
belgand
+0 -0
Seriously... have you all gotten into the horseradish or something? The sass .
Seriously... have you all gotten into the horseradish or something? The sass .
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Hava hug, Belgand. You're just such an easy setup guy, it's hard to resist.
Hava hug, Belgand. You're just such an easy setup guy, it's hard to resist.
belgand
+0 -0
Sometimes... sometimes I enjoy setting things up.
A personal favorite is to setup an obvious joke at my expense or comment that could be made into a lewd joke or double entendre by others and then acting appalled and indignant.
If you cannot make jokes at your own expense or willfully set yourself up for such jokes whenever necessary then you have no purpose ever attempting to be funny.
In all fairness, however, I did feel like I was getting it a bit much all in a row. No huge deal though.
Sometimes... sometimes I enjoy setting things up.
A personal favorite is to setup an obvious joke at my expense or comment that could be made into a lewd joke or double entendre by others and then acting appalled and indignant.
If you cannot make jokes at your own expense or willfully set yourself up for such jokes whenever necessary then you have no purpose ever attempting to be funny.
In all fairness, however, I did feel like I was getting it a bit much all in a row. No huge deal though.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
w3rd^10000000000000000000000000000000000000
w3rd^10000000000000000000000000000000000000
mercuri0us
+0 -0
I gave you a pity-chubby.
I gave you a pity-chubby.
snatch22
+4 -0
That's how I lost my virginity.
That's how I lost my virginity.
deus
+0 -2
What the hell is a "big hot tranny mess"?
And why am i thinking of a the soiled night gown of mr. Morrison.
What the hell is a "big hot tranny mess"?
And why am i thinking of a the soiled night gown of mr. Morrison.
deus
+0 -0
or mr. Morrison for that matter.
or mr. Morrison for that matter.
featurelessvoid
+5 -0
Fighting my instincts, I took one for the team and did a web search for "big hot tranny mess." It turns out that it's the catchphrase of some sort of fashion designer .
Mercifully, Google couldn't come up with any targeted ads for the keywords "big hot tranny mess."
Fighting my instincts, I took one for the team and did a web search for "big hot tranny mess." It turns out that it's the catchphrase of some sort of fashion designer .
Mercifully, Google couldn't come up with any targeted ads for the keywords "big hot tranny mess."
deus
+1 -0
So transexual fashion blunder or cute childish escapade, you decide.
So transexual fashion blunder or cute childish escapade, you decide.
spicyponyhead
+1 -0
Chubby for looking something up so I can be lazy and just click on a link.
Chubby for looking something up so I can be lazy and just click on a link.
jaldor
+1 -0
you must have safesearch on
you must have safesearch on
rowboat
+0 -0
Apparently, no one here watches Project Runway. Thankfully, Chris and I do.
Apparently, no one here watches Project Runway. Thankfully, Chris and I do.
rowboat
+0 -0
Of course, subsequently scrolling down the page I realized that a few others were aware of this show. I may, however, have been the only straight male who recognized it. Does that make me a gay male?
Of course, subsequently scrolling down the page I realized that a few others were aware of this show. I may, however, have been the only straight male who recognized it. Does that make me a gay male?
mattylite
+0 -0
Make it work.
Make it work.
rowboat
+2 -0
Oh! How could I forget? Mattylite also watches this show. We watch it together. We sit there and enjoy it like twin towers of overpowering heterosexuality.
Me and Mattylite get so straight together.
Oh! How could I forget? Mattylite also watches this show. We watch it together. We sit there and enjoy it like twin towers of overpowering heterosexuality.
Me and Mattylite get so straight together.
belgand
+0 -0
There is nothing gay about Project Runway. It's simply a terrible show. Being gay isn't an excuse to enjoy horrible things.
There is nothing gay about Project Runway. It's simply a terrible show. Being gay isn't an excuse to enjoy horrible things.
rowboat
+7 -0
OK, Bel-baby. You win. There is nothing gay about Project Runway. Not in the least . Nope . That there is one completely straight television program. Yessir. By heteros, for heteros . All the way . Every time .
[The joke is that Belgand said something that is false!]
OK, Bel-baby. You win. There is nothing gay about Project Runway. Not in the least . Nope . That there is one completely straight television program. Yessir. By heteros, for heteros . All the way . Every time .
[The joke is that Belgand said something that is false!]
theguitarhero
+1 -0
I would have laughed if all those links went straight to Tim Gunn's wikipedia.
I would have laughed if all those links went straight to Tim Gunn's wikipedia.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
*laughed harder
*laughed harder
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Well like, I got the joke, but it would have been funnier if he just repeated himself.
Christian whatshisface would have been a better choice though, as Tim Gunn is not as obviously gay.
Well like, I got the joke, but it would have been funnier if he just repeated himself.
Christian whatshisface would have been a better choice though, as Tim Gunn is not as obviously gay.
rowboat
+0 -0
Tim Gunn is obviously gay.
Tim Gunn is obviously gay.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ok maybe I just haven't seen him in public enough (since I do not watch Project Runway or Tim Gunn's Guide To Style) but he does not show any stereotypical mannerisms of a homosexual male, where as Christian Siriano does.
Ok maybe I just haven't seen him in public enough (since I do not watch Project Runway or Tim Gunn's Guide To Style) but he does not show any stereotypical mannerisms of a homosexual male, where as Christian Siriano does.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
Except for being really sad about stains in that new laundry detergent commercial? Because he is really sad about stains.
Except for being really sad about stains in that new laundry detergent commercial? Because he is really sad about stains.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
And only gay people get sad about stains. Apparently was the joke.
And only gay people get sad about stains. Apparently was the joke.
belgand
+0 -0
My girlfriend gets upset and sometimes rather angry about stains. Is there an exception for ladies?
My girlfriend gets upset and sometimes rather angry about stains. Is there an exception for ladies?
rowboat
+1 -0
Oh, you're talkin' photos. OK. Yeah, it's not so apparent when you can't see his perfect hands flopping around like crazy on his functionless wrists.
Oh, you're talkin' photos. OK. Yeah, it's not so apparent when you can't see his perfect hands flopping around like crazy on his functionless wrists.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
You know, I have seen him on film before and I don't remember that.
Straight people can be flop wristed too though.
You know, I have seen him on film before and I don't remember that.
Straight people can be flop wristed too though.
rowboat
+0 -0
Well, I'm gonna flop my wrists right out of this conversation if you don't mind.
Well, I'm gonna flop my wrists right out of this conversation if you don't mind.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
flopflopflopflopflop.
flopflopflopflopflop.
belgand
+0 -0
Actually it's more predicated on how stereotypical of a statement that is. Some people are gay, but have absolutely no interest or ability at fashion. Some can barely even dress themselves.
That excepted calling that abomination gay is a slight on homosexuals.
Actually it's more predicated on how stereotypical of a statement that is. Some people are gay, but have absolutely no interest or ability at fashion. Some can barely even dress themselves.
That excepted calling that abomination gay is a slight on homosexuals.
rowboat
+0 -0
Whatever, gay.
Whatever, gay.
tekende
+0 -0
Alternate response: "Huh! Whatever, fag. "
Alternate response: "Huh! Whatever, fag. "
rowboat
+0 -0
ahomosayswhat?
ahomosayswhat?
stereo
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
falseprophet
+0 -0
YES
All I need is one more person to use this picture and I will have officially started an assetbar meme.
And I won't have to feel alone anymore...
YES
All I need is one more person to use this picture and I will have officially started an assetbar meme.
And I won't have to feel alone anymore...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I am doing everything in my power not to drop a goatse in the text area and post it. I want to ruin your moment so bad. I think I can fight this horrible urge with the power of laziness and porn.
I am doing everything in my power not to drop a goatse in the text area and post it. I want to ruin your moment so bad. I think I can fight this horrible urge with the power of laziness and porn.
belgand
+0 -0
If you had done that I would have laughed. I would have laughed so hard.
But it shall never be now. You blew it.
If you had done that I would have laughed. I would have laughed so hard.
But it shall never be now. You blew it.
sje46
+0 -0
Who wants to make you laugh anyway?
Who wants to make you laugh anyway?
tekende
+0 -0
If I were not at work I would find a goatse picture and then place the NOT GAY sign over the gaping asshole. That would be funny, I think.
If I were not at work I would find a goatse picture and then place the NOT GAY sign over the gaping asshole. That would be funny, I think.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
You know what is worse than Project Runway? People who just immediately dismiss it. If you watch it with a sort of derisive eye, it can be hilarious; like all reality or trash television. See: The Soup.
And seriously, Santino was the absolute tranniest of hot messes. Love that guy.
He is on RuPaul's Drag Race now, for anyone wondering where to find more Santino in this wide, cruel world.
You know what is worse than Project Runway? People who just immediately dismiss it. If you watch it with a sort of derisive eye, it can be hilarious; like all reality or trash television. See: The Soup.
And seriously, Santino was the absolute tranniest of hot messes. Love that guy.
He is on RuPaul's Drag Race now, for anyone wondering where to find more Santino in this wide, cruel world.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Derisive eye for the gay guy.
Derisive eye for the gay guy.
belgand
+1 -0
Only watching something terrible in an ironic fashion is probably one of the most hipster things you can possibly do.
If anything that's an even better reason not to have anything to do with it.
Only watching something terrible in an ironic fashion is probably one of the most hipster things you can possibly do.
If anything that's an even better reason not to have anything to do with it.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Not ironic, I'm not sitting there saying, "OH my, how TERRIBLY INTERESTING is THIS plot DEVICE mmyes"
I'm just laughing at dumb, self-absorbed people do dumb, self-absorbed things. I'm not saying it is above laughing at a guy get hit in the testicles over and over again, but it isn't ironic. Just schadenfruede.
Not ironic, I'm not sitting there saying, "OH my, how TERRIBLY INTERESTING is THIS plot DEVICE mmyes"
I'm just laughing at dumb, self-absorbed people do dumb, self-absorbed things. I'm not saying it is above laughing at a guy get hit in the testicles over and over again, but it isn't ironic. Just schadenfruede.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
also, some of the designs are pretty awesome.
also, some of the designs are pretty awesome.
rowboat
+0 -0
I still haven't been able to sort out exactly how I watch it, what I get out of it, etc. But I definitely enjoy it in an only very slightly ironic way.
I still haven't been able to sort out exactly how I watch it, what I get out of it, etc. But I definitely enjoy it in an only very slightly ironic way.
rowboat
+0 -0
also, some of the designs are pretty awesome.
also, some of the designs are pretty awesome.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
rowboat you super coo, so nice that sometimes a dude can just kick back and enjoy a program that other dudes would pretend to have never heard of in order to score with some girl who pretends to like football but really just watches America's Next Top Model and Janice Dickinson's Modelling Agency reruns, crying to herself, staring at her mangled body and her wasted life
I appreciate that, man.
rowboat you super coo, so nice that sometimes a dude can just kick back and enjoy a program that other dudes would pretend to have never heard of in order to score with some girl who pretends to like football but really just watches America's Next Top Model and Janice Dickinson's Modelling Agency reruns, crying to herself, staring at her mangled body and her wasted life
I appreciate that, man.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I've seen a few episodes of America's Next Top Model and I'm totally ok with myself, but I seriously have to stop watching all this fruity shit.
I've seen a few episodes of America's Next Top Model and I'm totally ok with myself, but I seriously have to stop watching all this fruity shit.
belgand
+0 -0
Is "totally ok with myself" a euphamism for "fapped continuously"?
Damn kids these days and their new jerk-off slang!
Is "totally ok with myself" a euphamism for "fapped continuously"?
Damn kids these days and their new jerk-off slang!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I mean to say "ok with my raging heterosexuality" but I posted that while banging three chicks at the same time, because, huh, you know, I'm so straight that I can't even be around other dudes.
I mean to say "ok with my raging heterosexuality" but I posted that while banging three chicks at the same time, because, huh, you know, I'm so straight that I can't even be around other dudes.
belgand
+0 -0
Sounds like someone's overcompensating.
I see a late night spend crying in a sad, angry manner as TGH jerks off over an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.
Sounds like someone's overcompensating.
I see a late night spend crying in a sad, angry manner as TGH jerks off over an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That was the joke, though!
That was the joke, though!
rowboat
+0 -0
You must be readin' my mail.
You must be readin' my mail.
belgand
+0 -0
I want nothing to do with either of those people.
Thankfully none of my friends have even the slightest interest in any sorts of sports or stereotypically girly things.
This is the geek way.
The closest I can come is my girlfriend having a thing for Charmed , but it was never a really big thing and I think she liked it more for the magic than anything else.
I want nothing to do with either of those people.
Thankfully none of my friends have even the slightest interest in any sorts of sports or stereotypically girly things.
This is the geek way.
The closest I can come is my girlfriend having a thing for Charmed , but it was never a really big thing and I think she liked it more for the magic than anything else.
rowboat
+0 -0
Oh, you geeks and your magic....
Oh, you geeks and your magic....
wrmeade
+1 -0
See, disdaining people who like bad things ironically is the new liking things ironically.
Here's calling for an exponentially accelerating self-referential infinite regress in approving/not approving of performance irony, followed by heads exploding.
See, disdaining people who like bad things ironically is the new liking things ironically.
Here's calling for an exponentially accelerating self-referential infinite regress in approving/not approving of performance irony, followed by heads exploding.
thedrizzle
+0 -0
...
Boom.
...
Boom.
wrmeade
+0 -0
"If you watch it ironically it's funny" doesn't mean it's not terrible, or that you should give it a chance (to prove itself). Because, you know, that's not really what he's talking about.
"If you watch it ironically it's funny" doesn't mean it's not terrible, or that you should give it a chance (to prove itself). Because, you know, that's not really what he's talking about.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
okay guys you don't have to watch project runway in any way at all, ever, if you don't want to-- yeeeesh
I didn't mean to start an argument about irony, or what it means to watch something """"""ironically"""""", but maybe if any of you were familiar with The Soup, you'd know exactly what frame of mind I, and many others, are in when we watch shitty television. Alright? Rock of Love Bus 3 is on tonight, no more time.
okay guys you don't have to watch project runway in any way at all, ever, if you don't want to-- yeeeesh
I didn't mean to start an argument about irony, or what it means to watch something """"""ironically"""""", but maybe if any of you were familiar with The Soup, you'd know exactly what frame of mind I, and many others, are in when we watch shitty television. Alright? Rock of Love Bus 3 is on tonight, no more time.
autrepoupee
+3 -0
ps was anyone going to point out that derisive does not at all mean ironic? Ironic isn't just some catch-all phrase meaning 'the way in which people enjoy things that you disapprove of'.
ps was anyone going to point out that derisive does not at all mean ironic? Ironic isn't just some catch-all phrase meaning 'the way in which people enjoy things that you disapprove of'.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm going to chubby this, entirely for your description of how people misuse 'ironic'. I would follow this with a hug, and then leave you six dollars on the nightstand.
And gents, the straight way way to say you've seen Project Runway is to say your 'other' was watching it. It even sounds pretty straight if your 'other' is a hairy gay biker.
I'm going to chubby this, entirely for your description of how people misuse 'ironic'. I would follow this with a hug, and then leave you six dollars on the nightstand.
And gents, the straight way way to say you've seen Project Runway is to say your 'other' was watching it. It even sounds pretty straight if your 'other' is a hairy gay biker.
tekende
+0 -0
Damnit hedo, stop looking in my window at night!
Damnit hedo, stop looking in my window at night!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Yet, you didn't chubby it, Stanley, so I had to.
HMMPH!
Yet, you didn't chubby it, Stanley, so I had to.
HMMPH!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It just took me a while because I needed a running start
It just took me a while because I needed a running start
belgand
+0 -0
I watched it sporadically in the original Talk Soup incarnation, mainly when John was still hosting.
I know exactly what you're talking about and while it's not the technical definition of "ironic" I would say it comes in closely as you are definitely watching it in a way that causes you to derive pleasure from it in a way counter to the original intent.
Watching bad movies I can generally defend, but bad, trashy TV is where I draw the line.
I watched it sporadically in the original Talk Soup incarnation, mainly when John was still hosting.
I know exactly what you're talking about and while it's not the technical definition of "ironic" I would say it comes in closely as you are definitely watching it in a way that causes you to derive pleasure from it in a way counter to the original intent.
Watching bad movies I can generally defend, but bad, trashy TV is where I draw the line.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I don't really see a difference, except that movies are more a commitment time-wise, but eh.
As for the original intent, I can almost 100 percent assure you that the savvy producers of Rock of Love and Flavor of Love, of Super Sweet 16 and the Real World/Road Rules Challenge realize that people are watching these shows because they want to see the participants make asses of themselves. If you watched them, you'd probably agree. Not that you have to, I really don't mind. Different strokes, I'm just trying to explain how I, and almost everyone I know, view shitty television.
I've never met a single person who actually liked the people who appear on those types of shows. Nobody is a fan of...say...Thing 2 from Flava of Love. Nobody.
I don't really see a difference, except that movies are more a commitment time-wise, but eh.
As for the original intent, I can almost 100 percent assure you that the savvy producers of Rock of Love and Flavor of Love, of Super Sweet 16 and the Real World/Road Rules Challenge realize that people are watching these shows because they want to see the participants make asses of themselves. If you watched them, you'd probably agree. Not that you have to, I really don't mind. Different strokes, I'm just trying to explain how I, and almost everyone I know, view shitty television.
I've never met a single person who actually liked the people who appear on those types of shows. Nobody is a fan of...say...Thing 2 from Flava of Love. Nobody.
wrmeade
+0 -0
I haven't seen it, or any other reality TV show for that matter. Because TV is where I go to see things that aren't real, not faked versions of things that "are."
I haven't seen it, or any other reality TV show for that matter. Because TV is where I go to see things that aren't real, not faked versions of things that "are."
belgand
+0 -1
I think part of the problem is that in my ideal world being a reality show contestant would actually be a process where you are auditioning for your own execution.
These people need to be eliminated from our society. Though, in all fairness, the producers are even greater scum.
Since I am a pacifist, albeit an angry, dramatic, and hyperbolic one, I suggest instead that we banish them all. Perhaps we can take the big chunks of Montana that nobody is using or one of the more remote parts of Canada and eject them from civilized society after sterilizing them.
I don't watch these shows because I loathe these people with intense passion. It does not amuse me to watch how horrible they are. I just hate them. Being terrible is something we ought to discourage. By even paying attention to them, even to deride them in this manner, you are supporting them and condoning their actions as a form of amusement.
I think part of the problem is that in my ideal world being a reality show contestant would actually be a process where you are auditioning for your own execution.
These people need to be eliminated from our society. Though, in all fairness, the producers are even greater scum.
Since I am a pacifist, albeit an angry, dramatic, and hyperbolic one, I suggest instead that we banish them all. Perhaps we can take the big chunks of Montana that nobody is using or one of the more remote parts of Canada and eject them from civilized society after sterilizing them.
I don't watch these shows because I loathe these people with intense passion. It does not amuse me to watch how horrible they are. I just hate them. Being terrible is something we ought to discourage. By even paying attention to them, even to deride them in this manner, you are supporting them and condoning their actions as a form of amusement.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Make up the best reality show idea!
My vote is for Survivor: Rwanda
Make up the best reality show idea!
My vote is for Survivor: Rwanda
wrmeade
+0 -0
Come to think of it, I meant to say Darfur; the genocide in Rwanda was 15 years ago and they have since set up a functioning state, but no matter!
Come to think of it, I meant to say Darfur; the genocide in Rwanda was 15 years ago and they have since set up a functioning state, but no matter!
belgand
+0 -0
I've long wanted a Surivor show where survival was the actual goal. You're placed on a deserted island with the other contestants with a good knife, a small supply of food, and a few other small items and your goal is to survive. At any time you have the option of giving up and dropping out. If you are in actual danger of not making it and need to be evacuated for health reasons (I'd love to make it far more legitimately cut-throat and Lord of the Flies , but I'll make a concession to reality) you also lose by default. Last person left alive and surviving on the island wins the prize money.
None of this bullshit team game show on the beach crap with a high school popularity contest thrown in. Make a show that actually features real challenge and rewards you for actual accomplishment and skill.
The only problem is how you successfully keep the camera crew out of it. Their presence would really disrupt things and the psychological state of being alone (unless, of course, you team up with other contestants who will likely only later betray you to win themselves) and trying to eke out an existence.
I've long wanted a Surivor show where survival was the actual goal. You're placed on a deserted island with the other contestants with a good knife, a small supply of food, and a few other small items and your goal is to survive. At any time you have the option of giving up and dropping out. If you are in actual danger of not making it and need to be evacuated for health reasons (I'd love to make it far more legitimately cut-throat and Lord of the Flies , but I'll make a concession to reality) you also lose by default. Last person left alive and surviving on the island wins the prize money.
None of this bullshit team game show on the beach crap with a high school popularity contest thrown in. Make a show that actually features real challenge and rewards you for actual accomplishment and skill.
The only problem is how you successfully keep the camera crew out of it. Their presence would really disrupt things and the psychological state of being alone (unless, of course, you team up with other contestants who will likely only later betray you to win themselves) and trying to eke out an existence.
tekende
+0 -0
Just set up cameras in the trees and stuff. No need for actual cameramen.
Just set up cameras in the trees and stuff. No need for actual cameramen.
stereo
+0 -0
Borrow one of the military unmanned surveillance planes America uses. They can automatically acquire and follow >10 targets and show images with good resolution.
Borrow one of the military unmanned surveillance planes America uses. They can automatically acquire and follow >10 targets and show images with good resolution.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Season one, episode two: Release Jaguars on the island, and frenzied sharks in the water.
Season one, episode two: Release Jaguars on the island, and frenzied sharks in the water.
wrmeade
+0 -0
unnecessary capitalization woes: did I mean the car or the animal?
unnecessary capitalization woes: did I mean the car or the animal?
stereo
+0 -0
Jaguars riding in Jaguars.
No longer content with hit and run, they go for hit, capture, eat, relesae.
Jaguars riding in Jaguars.
No longer content with hit and run, they go for hit, capture, eat, relesae.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Jaguars driving Jaguars sounds like an obscure webcomic in the vein of Dr. Mcninja. Or a punk band.
Jaguars driving Jaguars sounds like an obscure webcomic in the vein of Dr. Mcninja. Or a punk band.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
And a quick spin around the estate.
And a quick spin around the estate.
belgand
+0 -0
No, don't dick with it at all. That's still the gimmicky way of doing it. Just let these people fail on their own. Let them experience how cripplingly unprepared they are to actually do something so simple as stay alive all on their own.
No, don't dick with it at all. That's still the gimmicky way of doing it. Just let these people fail on their own. Let them experience how cripplingly unprepared they are to actually do something so simple as stay alive all on their own.
octafish
+0 -0
So.. no Buzzsaw?
[IMGS OFF]
So.. no Buzzsaw?
[IMGS OFF]
belgand
+0 -0
Different show man, different show...
Different show man, different show...
belgand
+0 -0
American Idol: Twelve idolaters compete to see which one will create the graven image that all of America will feel compelled to worship for the next thousand years.
American Idol: Twelve idolaters compete to see which one will create the graven image that all of America will feel compelled to worship for the next thousand years.
wrmeade
+0 -0
Season one, episode two: Release Jaguars on the island, and frenzied sharks in the water.
Season one, episode two: Release Jaguars on the island, and frenzied sharks in the water.
belgand
+0 -0
Damn, re-runs already?
Damn, re-runs already?
bixschmix
+0 -0
I like watching pretty clothes and completely insane people. Thus, Project Runway is an interesting diversion for me. (Especially when Santino was a factor.)
I like watching pretty clothes and completely insane people. Thus, Project Runway is an interesting diversion for me. (Especially when Santino was a factor.)
speccer
+0 -0
The Soup is nice because it features the funny parts of those shows. Actually watching those shows, though, you need to sit through too much filler.
Just a humble opinion.
The Soup is nice because it features the funny parts of those shows. Actually watching those shows, though, you need to sit through too much filler.
Just a humble opinion.
rowboat
+0 -0
The Soup is the only reason I've ever heard of any of the shows featured on The Soup. . My mental health depends on me keeping it that way.
Though I have to admit that I have watched probably a combined total of three episodes of Rock of Love throughout the last couple of years. Y'know, like a car crash. That kind of thing.
The Soup is the only reason I've ever heard of any of the shows featured on The Soup. . My mental health depends on me keeping it that way.
Though I have to admit that I have watched probably a combined total of three episodes of Rock of Love throughout the last couple of years. Y'know, like a car crash. That kind of thing.
sje46
+0 -0
I think either Rock of Love or Charm School are the lowest shows out there. There are many contenders, however.
I think either Rock of Love or Charm School are the lowest shows out there. There are many contenders, however.
belgand
+0 -0
Worse than I Love New York ? A crazy skank is so crazy that she worms her way back onto the show and then continues to be so incredibly crazy (as well as her mother) that she is able to carve out a show of her own from it?
I think that's the lowest.
Worse than I Love New York ? A crazy skank is so crazy that she worms her way back onto the show and then continues to be so incredibly crazy (as well as her mother) that she is able to carve out a show of her own from it?
I think that's the lowest.
sje46
+0 -0
You have a point.
Really, though. VH1 Celebreality(even though they're not really celebrities) is the trashiest TV ever. Followed closely by E!, which is classier.
You have a point.
Really, though. VH1 Celebreality(even though they're not really celebrities) is the trashiest TV ever. Followed closely by E!, which is classier.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Now yeah, that is a point worth making. I really, really enjoy laughing at bad things happening to people, people ruin their father's opinions of them by shoving Brett Michael's head in their tits, and people just generally engage in extreme clownery. It isn't all hilarious, The Soup is good enough for most everybody. But I've got such a specific love of hate, I do it to myself.
Now yeah, that is a point worth making. I really, really enjoy laughing at bad things happening to people, people ruin their father's opinions of them by shoving Brett Michael's head in their tits, and people just generally engage in extreme clownery. It isn't all hilarious, The Soup is good enough for most everybody. But I've got such a specific love of hate, I do it to myself.
rowboat
+0 -0
Yeah, but The Soup helps you catch some things that you'd inevitably miss out on otherwise. I mean, how many hours of The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet (whatever the hell that show even is ) would you have to slog through waiting for something like this ?
Yeah, but The Soup helps you catch some things that you'd inevitably miss out on otherwise. I mean, how many hours of The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet (whatever the hell that show even is ) would you have to slog through waiting for something like this ?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's on your local FOX affiliate and you can literally watch that show every goddamned day and find something new and horrible about it.
I want to find the studio they film that motherfucking abomination, get on the sound stage, shoot myself in the head so that the brain matter sprays all over mike and spells out the words "YOUR FAULT".
Can I make it anymore clear how horrible that show is and how much I want them to die?
It's on your local FOX affiliate and you can literally watch that show every goddamned day and find something new and horrible about it.
I want to find the studio they film that motherfucking abomination, get on the sound stage, shoot myself in the head so that the brain matter sprays all over mike and spells out the words "YOUR FAULT".
Can I make it anymore clear how horrible that show is and how much I want them to die?
belgand
+0 -0
But now I finally know the truth behind Spaghetti Cat and his origins: it was to bleep out the fat, dumb, drunk girl and they decided to use an amusing image from a previous show instead of just cutting to the audience or such.
Apparently they're learning from the Internet. This is, perhaps, not a good thing for the future.
But now I finally know the truth behind Spaghetti Cat and his origins: it was to bleep out the fat, dumb, drunk girl and they decided to use an amusing image from a previous show instead of just cutting to the audience or such.
Apparently they're learning from the Internet. This is, perhaps, not a good thing for the future.
deus
+0 -0
Lames?
Well i thougt it was funny.
Oh dear, why must i complain about my chubbies and lames on assetbar.
Lames?
Well i thougt it was funny.
Oh dear, why must i complain about my chubbies and lames on assetbar.
hbananaplus
+0 -0
Lyle appears to be the most shocked. Perhaps he is afraid the kid is on to something.
Lyle appears to be the most shocked. Perhaps he is afraid the kid is on to something.
drskradley
+1 -0
The man has History there.
"Wake up Jesus, it's Christmas day!"
The man has History there.
"Wake up Jesus, it's Christmas day!"
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Good point -- note that the ad seeks "one-time open minded heterosexual men." I now read it to mean "one-time ... men." The hyphen doesn't make sense otherwise.
Good point -- note that the ad seeks "one-time open minded heterosexual men." I now read it to mean "one-time ... men." The hyphen doesn't make sense otherwise.
sje46
+0 -0
Awesome strip. I love it.
I love the alt text too. Here, Onstad. Have a 5.
Awesome strip. I love it.
I love the alt text too. Here, Onstad. Have a 5.
sje46
+1 -0
I don't know. Maybe it is a 4.
I don't know. Maybe it is a 4.
belgand
+1 -1
It's no better than a 2 really. Not really funny, nothing to recommend it. A weak entry across the board. I won't even deign to use that dull, uninteresting new catchphrase to describe it.
It's no better than a 2 really. Not really funny, nothing to recommend it. A weak entry across the board. I won't even deign to use that dull, uninteresting new catchphrase to describe it.
sje46
+0 -0
I really like it for some reason. But it isn't a five. I was overcome with joy about Onstad possibly releasing all the premium strips to us . . .?
I really like it for some reason. But it isn't a five. I was overcome with joy about Onstad possibly releasing all the premium strips to us . . .?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I thought it was a 5. Totally Achewood type of comic, which is...refreshing...
I thought it was a 5. Totally Achewood type of comic, which is...refreshing...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I 5'd and I'd been not dolling out many 5's of late.
I 5'd and I'd been not dolling out many 5's of late.
tekende
+0 -0
Same here.
Same here.
rowboat
+0 -0
Same here. Probably my first five since the awesome late December strips.
This is a solid, no questions five.
Same here. Probably my first five since the awesome late December strips.
This is a solid, no questions five.
belgand
+0 -0
Well, I guess I'm just in the minority then. I just didn't find it even remotely funny. If anything it felt tedious and forced without even a small crack where the humor could hope to seep in and perhaps damage the foundation.
Not a one though because it didn't make me want to stab someone like some other strips.
The last few strips have generally been pretty good too (Beef and his Stomach was only an average, 3 strip) so it's up against some rough immediate competition along with all the many great strips of the past.
We've also been over how I rate before. Getting a 5 means you're destined to go on the Greatest Hits and we've only got so many slots. Can't hand those out all willy-nilly.
Well, I guess I'm just in the minority then. I just didn't find it even remotely funny. If anything it felt tedious and forced without even a small crack where the humor could hope to seep in and perhaps damage the foundation.
Not a one though because it didn't make me want to stab someone like some other strips.
The last few strips have generally been pretty good too (Beef and his Stomach was only an average, 3 strip) so it's up against some rough immediate competition along with all the many great strips of the past.
We've also been over how I rate before. Getting a 5 means you're destined to go on the Greatest Hits and we've only got so many slots. Can't hand those out all willy-nilly.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I used to be a 5-whore but I've toned it down. This is my first since probably "Because I Got Depression."
I used to be a 5-whore but I've toned it down. This is my first since probably "Because I Got Depression."
belgand
+0 -0
Doing the math I've given about 9.27% of the strips a 5. Just looking at my list of 5'd strips I was thinking "hmm... this is too much, I need to exercise more judgment in the future", but I guess that's an appropriate number and very much in line with Sturgeon's Law. Not that average or merely above-average Achewood is crap, but that only 10% is the cream of the crop.
Doing the math I've given about 9.27% of the strips a 5. Just looking at my list of 5'd strips I was thinking "hmm... this is too much, I need to exercise more judgment in the future", but I guess that's an appropriate number and very much in line with Sturgeon's Law. Not that average or merely above-average Achewood is crap, but that only 10% is the cream of the crop.
mercuri0us
+5 -0
When I saw Lyle smile, I thought it was because it turned out he actually was a tranny, and he was happy that someone realised.
When I saw Lyle smile, I thought it was because it turned out he actually was a tranny, and he was happy that someone realised.
sje46
+1 -0
You just made the strip so much funnier.
You just made the strip so much funnier.
falseprophet
+8 -0
ACE
OF
GAYS
ACE
OF
GAYS
belgand
+0 -0
Lyle becomes a fairy: ACE OF GLADES!
Lyle becomes a fairy: ACE OF GLADES!
vermy
+0 -0
I'm not sure if HE is a tranny, per-se, but we do know he enjoys helping M2F trannies become comfortable in their new bodies. Drawn what conclusions you will
I'm not sure if HE is a tranny, per-se, but we do know he enjoys helping M2F trannies become comfortable in their new bodies. Drawn what conclusions you will
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If only.
If only.
falseprophet
+33 -2
While we're in the spirit of giving gifts that keep on giving, I've unanimously voted to re-post a chub-worthy comment I made on the premium assetbar when this was first posted.
Ray's Financial Manners Guide For A Variety of Social Situations
$6 = cute money
$60 = emergency dinner money. For when you are out at a casual dinner with friends and the situation is too urgent to divvy up the check and calculate tip
$600 ("six hundo") = apology money
$6000 = television court-ordered apology money (NOTE: The maximum that Judge Judy can award is only $5000, but if the mullet-rocking redneck couple managed to beat you in a contest of logic and words there is nothing else proper to do than to congratulate them with an extra $1000 for a well-played match)
$60,000 = the amount you pay for an American car to help out with the recession (MEMO ON CHECK: "Hey Detroit. My condolences. Tell your Mom I said hi.")
$600,000 ("six hundo G's") = A reasonable salary for the CEO of a company right now. The ones that got bailed out are only getting $500,000 because of a stern look from Barack Obama, but since you have not failed at life, you give yourself an extra hundo G to show that business principles still mean something in this town.
$6,000,000 = You are out with your girl at a lavish evening ball where live classical music is playing, which means dancing has rules (too bad). You are in the middle of a conversation with Admiral Ranjit Saravay of the British Navy (you can tell by his ethnicity that he has moved up in the world), learning of his ways. You are just about to impress him with your knowledge of the recent film "Slumdog Millionaire" when your girl does a :-(. Everyone looks at you. This will surely ruin you if it gets out. The amount is silencing money.
While we're in the spirit of giving gifts that keep on giving, I've unanimously voted to re-post a chub-worthy comment I made on the premium assetbar when this was first posted.
Ray's Financial Manners Guide For A Variety of Social Situations
$6 = cute money
$60 = emergency dinner money. For when you are out at a casual dinner with friends and the situation is too urgent to divvy up the check and calculate tip
$600 ("six hundo") = apology money
$6000 = television court-ordered apology money (NOTE: The maximum that Judge Judy can award is only $5000, but if the mullet-rocking redneck couple managed to beat you in a contest of logic and words there is nothing else proper to do than to congratulate them with an extra $1000 for a well-played match)
$60,000 = the amount you pay for an American car to help out with the recession (MEMO ON CHECK: "Hey Detroit. My condolences. Tell your Mom I said hi.")
$600,000 ("six hundo G's") = A reasonable salary for the CEO of a company right now. The ones that got bailed out are only getting $500,000 because of a stern look from Barack Obama, but since you have not failed at life, you give yourself an extra hundo G to show that business principles still mean something in this town.
$6,000,000 = You are out with your girl at a lavish evening ball where live classical music is playing, which means dancing has rules (too bad). You are in the middle of a conversation with Admiral Ranjit Saravay of the British Navy (you can tell by his ethnicity that he has moved up in the world), learning of his ways. You are just about to impress him with your knowledge of the recent film "Slumdog Millionaire" when your girl does a :-(. Everyone looks at you. This will surely ruin you if it gets out. The amount is silencing money.
belgand
+0 -0
If your company needed to get bailout money then you actually have failed at life more or less. I guess convincing the government to fund your excessive salary despite your own incompetence counts for something, but it doesn't take away that it is still the dick move of a complete bastard.
It's like calling your parents because you're short on rent money and then going out and spending it on beer for a party because you aren't going to be evicted.
If your company needed to get bailout money then you actually have failed at life more or less. I guess convincing the government to fund your excessive salary despite your own incompetence counts for something, but it doesn't take away that it is still the dick move of a complete bastard.
It's like calling your parents because you're short on rent money and then going out and spending it on beer for a party because you aren't going to be evicted.
falseprophet
+0 -0
There's a miscommunication here.
Ray's company is not being bailed out. He is paying himself $600,000 because he knows that people are suffering out there, and he wants to show that he is a man of the people.
What they didn't show: Ray was paying himself three hundo G's before all this economy started happening and when he realized what was going on elsewhere he corrected things.
There's a miscommunication here.
Ray's company is not being bailed out. He is paying himself $600,000 because he knows that people are suffering out there, and he wants to show that he is a man of the people.
What they didn't show: Ray was paying himself three hundo G's before all this economy started happening and when he realized what was going on elsewhere he corrected things.
belgand
+0 -0
I didn't think it was even a thing of Ray's company. I thought it was merely the idea of what a CEO ought to be making. Ray doesn't make a salary. He does not run a company, he does not need to. There is only Ray. Prime Time doesn't need any other employees.
I didn't think it was even a thing of Ray's company. I thought it was merely the idea of what a CEO ought to be making. Ray doesn't make a salary. He does not run a company, he does not need to. There is only Ray. Prime Time doesn't need any other employees.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
A question for those who've sampled the Premium Fanflow: what's the typical rate of content publication there? Is it an update per day? Per week? Twice per hour, but then it ends up getting delayed and delayed until finally emerging three weeks later as a novel-length cartoon? (For clarity, I should note that I'm asking specifically about the frequency of Onstad-generated content, not subscriber-posted content.)
A question for those who've sampled the Premium Fanflow: what's the typical rate of content publication there? Is it an update per day? Per week? Twice per hour, but then it ends up getting delayed and delayed until finally emerging three weeks later as a novel-length cartoon? (For clarity, I should note that I'm asking specifically about the frequency of Onstad-generated content, not subscriber-posted content.)
keir
+0 -0
Probably between 4 and 6 times a week including notifications about new strips (subscriber only strips are rare). Just do it, it's only 3 bucks for shit's sake. All your questions will be answered.
Probably between 4 and 6 times a week including notifications about new strips (subscriber only strips are rare). Just do it, it's only 3 bucks for shit's sake. All your questions will be answered.
tangles
+1 -0
i don't join premium achewood because a) most of my monies still come from my parents, so any free money i have that isn't going to food and/or cigarettes goes toward helping them help me pay interest on student loans and b) achewood already takes up too much of my damn freetime. its too fucking good! i should be doing chemistry, psychology, and religion homework right now, besides playing super smash bros. brawl, keeping in touch with friends and putting the finishing production touches on a song i wrote for my girlfriend, which was supposed to be done in time for valentine's day.
also, i have not showered shaved or eaten in about 1.5 days, because i'm a big hot tranny mess :-(
i don't join premium achewood because a) most of my monies still come from my parents, so any free money i have that isn't going to food and/or cigarettes goes toward helping them help me pay interest on student loans and b) achewood already takes up too much of my damn freetime. its too fucking good! i should be doing chemistry, psychology, and religion homework right now, besides playing super smash bros. brawl, keeping in touch with friends and putting the finishing production touches on a song i wrote for my girlfriend, which was supposed to be done in time for valentine's day.
also, i have not showered shaved or eaten in about 1.5 days, because i'm a big hot tranny mess :-(
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Fuck. Right. Fine. So even you are holding out the gold for the Premium Strips. America's economy prepare to be minutely stimulated by my underpriced Australian dollar (i.e. Onstad, buy yourself one (1) coffee this month).
Fuck. Right. Fine. So even you are holding out the gold for the Premium Strips. America's economy prepare to be minutely stimulated by my underpriced Australian dollar (i.e. Onstad, buy yourself one (1) coffee this month).
falseprophet
+1 -0
I am sorry woodenteeth. I didn't realize you felt this way. From now on I will give you Extra Special Super Duper Secret Access to the Platinum Select Fanflow
In My Pants...
Also: [IMGS OFF]
I am sorry woodenteeth. I didn't realize you felt this way. From now on I will give you Extra Special Super Duper Secret Access to the Platinum Select Fanflow
In My Pants...
Also: [IMGS OFF]
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I feel very uncomfortable...
I feel very uncomfortable...
woodenteeth
+0 -0
in my pants .
in my pants .
theguitarhero
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I feel pretty uncomfortable in your pants myself
I feel pretty uncomfortable in your pants myself
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Well, if you fed your pets you wouldn't have this problem. I'm down to a 23 waist.
Well, if you fed your pets you wouldn't have this problem. I'm down to a 23 waist.
belgand
+0 -0
I felt around in his pants, but I believe the experience was uncomfortable for both of us.
I felt around in his pants, but I believe the experience was uncomfortable for both of us.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Oh, I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
tangles
+0 -0
what's a :-( ?
what's a :-( ?
wolfensti
+1 -0
Scientifically called Flatus or Flatulance ,it is what happen when gases (mostly Nitrogen and Carbon dioxyde) created by the digestive process are evacuated by the anus, producing a often discernible sound. The smell is mostly made of reduced sulphuric coumpound. The sound is created by the vibration of the anal sphyncter or sometimes the cleched buttocks.
Scientifically called Flatus or Flatulance ,it is what happen when gases (mostly Nitrogen and Carbon dioxyde) created by the digestive process are evacuated by the anus, producing a often discernible sound. The smell is mostly made of reduced sulphuric coumpound. The sound is created by the vibration of the anal sphyncter or sometimes the cleched buttocks.
daidai
+0 -0
Assgas
Assgas
snidedk
+0 -0
crud vapors
crud vapors
belgand
+1 -0
The thing most people fail to recognize due to its general impracticality is that if you gently hold the buttcheeks apart there will be little to no noise. No more than a slight "whoosh". Hard to impossible to do while wearing pants though.
The thing most people fail to recognize due to its general impracticality is that if you gently hold the buttcheeks apart there will be little to no noise. No more than a slight "whoosh". Hard to impossible to do while wearing pants though.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Heym thanks for the practical advice. I'll try it some time.
Heym thanks for the practical advice. I'll try it some time.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
it's neither (and not that i am good speller, but you don't need to capitalize the name of atoms). it's.. METHANE, aka 'natural gas'. CH4.
hope you feel less stupid. i don't.
it's neither (and not that i am good speller, but you don't need to capitalize the name of atoms). it's.. METHANE, aka 'natural gas'. CH4.
hope you feel less stupid. i don't.
wolfensti
+0 -0
it's Methane when you are talking about cattle
it's Methane when you are talking about cattle
desert_donkey
+0 -0
it's nitrogen (N2) and carbon dioxide (CO2) when you are talking about guinness.
methane is one bi-product of anaerobic respiration. sulphur dioxide is another... neither are too pleasant to smell. CO2 and N2 are have no scent.
it's nitrogen (N2) and carbon dioxide (CO2) when you are talking about guinness.
methane is one bi-product of anaerobic respiration. sulphur dioxide is another... neither are too pleasant to smell. CO2 and N2 are have no scent.
thedrizzle
+0 -0
Nerd it up the Assetbar!
Nerd it up the Assetbar!
mrchee
+0 -0
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kendieatsbabies, desert_donkey, emosexy)
A comment left by mrchee was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kendieatsbabies, desert_donkey, emosexy)
kendieatsbabies
+0 -2
Whatever. It's a beautiful reality show trainwreck, with pleats. Get with the times.
Whatever. It's a beautiful reality show trainwreck, with pleats. Get with the times.
kendieatsbabies
+0 -0
Oh, the shame.
Oh, the shame.
rowboat
+2 -0
You are so wrong it hurts, Mrchee. Your opinion is terrible.
You are so wrong it hurts, Mrchee. Your opinion is terrible.
skoora
+0 -0
Man, shut up, Lyle. Don't act all shocked and shit.
Man, shut up, Lyle. Don't act all shocked and shit.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Says Lyle.
Says Lyle.
mygen123
+0 -0
Any reservations I may have had about the quality of the strip lately are officially quashed. This could make even a hounddog smile.
Any reservations I may have had about the quality of the strip lately are officially quashed. This could make even a hounddog smile.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
In the recent hiatus, I looked around a little bit. You know, Daisy Owl and such like. No go. None of it. Except this: Subnormality
Not bad for a hoser. Not bad at all.
He ain't no C. T. Onstad, but not bad, damn it!
In the recent hiatus, I looked around a little bit. You know, Daisy Owl and such like. No go. None of it. Except this: Subnormality
Not bad for a hoser. Not bad at all.
He ain't no C. T. Onstad, but not bad, damn it!
tekende
+0 -0
Hmm.
I, uh...huh.
I'm not sure what to think of this comic. But I will read some more.
Hmm.
I, uh...huh.
I'm not sure what to think of this comic. But I will read some more.
tekende
+0 -0
I have read almost all of the strips and I must say I like it, I really do.
I have read almost all of the strips and I must say I like it, I really do.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Yeah, he's got a thing going there alright...
Yeah, he's got a thing going there alright...
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Humor-wise.
Humor-wise.
wolfensti
+7 -0
i will be frank with you, maybe i'm a disturbed freak but i can't take it anymore
Dude, it look like your avicon is about to eat a dick.
There, i said it
i will be frank with you, maybe i'm a disturbed freak but i can't take it anymore
Dude, it look like your avicon is about to eat a dick.
There, i said it
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Yeah, and he looks really happy about it.
Yeah, and he looks really happy about it.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
That's my kitty giving me a hand face. Seesh! Get your minds out of the gutter.
That's my kitty giving me a hand face. Seesh! Get your minds out of the gutter.
agentj
+0 -0
In the "kids use inappropriate language" pantheon this ranks above that Will Ferrells daughter-is-his-landlord clip and just below the original Bad News Bears.
In the "kids use inappropriate language" pantheon this ranks above that Will Ferrells daughter-is-his-landlord clip and just below the original Bad News Bears.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Did Lyle just bounce a liquor bottle?
Did Lyle just bounce a liquor bottle?
invidious
+0 -0
Of course. Lyle doesn't waste good money on over-priced liquor that comes in those fancy glass bottles.
Of course. Lyle doesn't waste good money on over-priced liquor that comes in those fancy glass bottles.
wolfensti
+0 -0
Tought he wished to perfect is spiral, since is close encounter with Ramses Smuckles
Tought he wished to perfect is spiral, since is close encounter with Ramses Smuckles
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
went about three feet!
went about three feet!
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
He did a spin-flip with his wrist. Maybe like seeing how many skips you can get a rock to make on a pond. Or maybe he was aiming at a roach.
Which makes me wonder how guy with his mileage still has that flex in his wrists without immediately cringing.
Not enough info to convict him, and none of this can be considered actual.
He did a spin-flip with his wrist. Maybe like seeing how many skips you can get a rock to make on a pond. Or maybe he was aiming at a roach.
Which makes me wonder how guy with his mileage still has that flex in his wrists without immediately cringing.
Not enough info to convict him, and none of this can be considered actual.
scrozier1
+0 -0
There's something about Lyle's smile that I just can't compute. It's purely euphoric in one sense, and at the same time I feel like everything I've ever known has been flipped upside down and beaten with a chain.
There's something about Lyle's smile that I just can't compute. It's purely euphoric in one sense, and at the same time I feel like everything I've ever known has been flipped upside down and beaten with a chain.
mercuri0us
+0 -0
I think that's because Lyle has never smiled before.
I think that's because Lyle has never smiled before.
gladi8orrex
+13 -0
I don' hav no sprink 'n ma stepse,. thod is 2 say dat win it cumz 2 quick fuell-bodies mottement i 'm not as lightnint s id lik tubey.
yall hab 2 mak a choise nah i gib u a quizz:
1 mil dollahs n wat forarm? u can pix only 1:
1 mil bux werth of gold
1 mil bux in dollahs
1 mil bux in jewels
1 mil bux in furz
1 mil bux werth n carpits
or 1 mil bux in 1 dolah cooinez
i maselb choouse 1 mil o' 1 dollah cooinez cuz id pute dem in a tub 'n' spalsh rond n dem lik d@ ol' duck form duck tailz did
I don' hav no sprink 'n ma stepse,. thod is 2 say dat win it cumz 2 quick fuell-bodies mottement i 'm not as lightnint s id lik tubey.
yall hab 2 mak a choise nah i gib u a quizz:
1 mil dollahs n wat forarm? u can pix only 1:
1 mil bux werth of gold
1 mil bux in dollahs
1 mil bux in jewels
1 mil bux in furz
1 mil bux werth n carpits
or 1 mil bux in 1 dolah cooinez
i maselb choouse 1 mil o' 1 dollah cooinez cuz id pute dem in a tub 'n' spalsh rond n dem lik d@ ol' duck form duck tailz did
belgand
+0 -0
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, equinn2006, Prine)
A comment left by belgand was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, equinn2006, Prine)
belgand
+0 -1
I'm not, in this case, talking about premium content, just the general dearth of strips. We want them badly. I might be able to turn a tidy profit there if I had never-to-be-released content.
I'm not, in this case, talking about premium content, just the general dearth of strips. We want them badly. I might be able to turn a tidy profit there if I had never-to-be-released content.
nabeel84
+0 -0
I don't have no spring in my steps. That is to say that when it comes to quick full-body movements I'm not as lightning as I'd like to be.
Y'all have to make a choice nah I give you a quiz:
1 million dollars in what form? You can pick only one:
1 million bucks in gold, dollars, jewels, worth of carpets, or dollar coins.
I myself choose 1 million of 1 dollar coins because I'd put them in a tub and splash around in them like the old duck from duck tales did.
I don't have no spring in my steps. That is to say that when it comes to quick full-body movements I'm not as lightning as I'd like to be.
Y'all have to make a choice nah I give you a quiz:
1 million dollars in what form? You can pick only one:
1 million bucks in gold, dollars, jewels, worth of carpets, or dollar coins.
I myself choose 1 million of 1 dollar coins because I'd put them in a tub and splash around in them like the old duck from duck tales did.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Splash around, then your junk turns green because it's actually brass, and doctors cut off you penis.
Then you will know what all those 90s movies about people getting real rich and still not being happy are all about. It only took the loss of your manhood to figure this out.
Splash around, then your junk turns green because it's actually brass, and doctors cut off you penis.
Then you will know what all those 90s movies about people getting real rich and still not being happy are all about. It only took the loss of your manhood to figure this out.
wolfensti
+0 -0
I ould take 1 million in coins
Then i would be a firefly helicopter (176000$) take pilot lessons (5000-10000$). Then i could fly over a city like new york, and rain death in form of coins on a unsuspecting crowd
I ould take 1 million in coins
Then i would be a firefly helicopter (176000$) take pilot lessons (5000-10000$). Then i could fly over a city like new york, and rain death in form of coins on a unsuspecting crowd
tekende
+0 -0
I'd take the gold, as US currency may not be worth much in a few years. Though you make a compelling argument for the coins.
I'd take the gold, as US currency may not be worth much in a few years. Though you make a compelling argument for the coins.
belgand
+0 -0
What form of gold? Bullion or coins? You could really have both there if you wanted to. Not as many coins, true, but still not a bad haul.
What form of gold? Bullion or coins? You could really have both there if you wanted to. Not as many coins, true, but still not a bad haul.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
One million in fur.
Mad Max taught me many things; one of the main things was that people will always need fur, fur to keep them warm. More than any gold, after all, what is the actual value of gold other than the assumption at a point in time that it was very, very rare? Soon enough the asteroid Crencampus will crash into us, ushering in a new era where the standard ore to which we measure all things will be Crencampantium.
so i guess more than anything i just will take one million against gold in the year 2016, bear market style
One million in fur.
Mad Max taught me many things; one of the main things was that people will always need fur, fur to keep them warm. More than any gold, after all, what is the actual value of gold other than the assumption at a point in time that it was very, very rare? Soon enough the asteroid Crencampus will crash into us, ushering in a new era where the standard ore to which we measure all things will be Crencampantium.
so i guess more than anything i just will take one million against gold in the year 2016, bear market style
wozzeck
+0 -0
$500,000 in General Electric.
$500,000 in machine guns and ammunition.
This way I'm covered whether or not our civilization survives the $3,700,000,000,000 Great Leap Forward our government just took.
$500,000 in General Electric.
$500,000 in machine guns and ammunition.
This way I'm covered whether or not our civilization survives the $3,700,000,000,000 Great Leap Forward our government just took.
belgand
+0 -0
You mean "Great Leap Into the Treasury" for every damn minor interest? Or would it perhaps be better thought of as the "Great Leap Into Debt"?
You mean "Great Leap Into the Treasury" for every damn minor interest? Or would it perhaps be better thought of as the "Great Leap Into Debt"?
wozzeck
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
I am from History, and have I got a deal for you!
[IMGS OFF]
I am from History, and have I got a deal for you!
belgand
+0 -0
You'll buy all that steel I've been smelting in my backyard? Finally!
You'll buy all that steel I've been smelting in my backyard? Finally!
stereo
+0 -0
Goddamn do I want to pop his chin pimple.
Yes I do. Squeeze that motherfucker until it splurts out.
Goddamn do I want to pop his chin pimple.
Yes I do. Squeeze that motherfucker until it splurts out.
sje46
+0 -0
Gross.
Gross.
belgand
+0 -0
I think it's a mole, thus foiling your scheme.
I think it's a mole, thus foiling your scheme.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Could still be fun to try it, though.
Could still be fun to try it, though.
tekende
+1 -0
i_love_kate has weird ideas about what it means to have fun.
i_love_kate has weird ideas about what it means to have fun.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Just ask your (the reader's) mother!
Just ask your (the reader's) mother!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
when will everyone realize money is actually fake anyway
the only commerce in the future will be schemes, guns, and silicone genitals
when will everyone realize money is actually fake anyway
the only commerce in the future will be schemes, guns, and silicone genitals
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Then I shall be rich, poor, and the king of the world, respectively
Then I shall be rich, poor, and the king of the world, respectively
belgand
+0 -0
We should form a partnership to create a triumvirate with some other sap and then, at some undefined point, betray him.
I don't know why, but I have a very strong desire to betray people. Not necessarily for any reason or people I even know, but I really want to take advantage of their trust and turn on them for reasons I can't entirely explain or understand. Not even personal gain, just a desire to betray. Though the personal gain does sound very nice.
We should form a partnership to create a triumvirate with some other sap and then, at some undefined point, betray him.
I don't know why, but I have a very strong desire to betray people. Not necessarily for any reason or people I even know, but I really want to take advantage of their trust and turn on them for reasons I can't entirely explain or understand. Not even personal gain, just a desire to betray. Though the personal gain does sound very nice.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I've only just watched the first episode of Dexter. Hah hah hah... psychosis.
I've only just watched the first episode of Dexter. Hah hah hah... psychosis.
belgand
+0 -1
Man, Dexter sucked. It had terrible acting by everyone except the lead, a dumb backstory, and the guy isn't even a serial killer, just a vigilante. Plus, they totally wuss out and never show us anything even remotely gorey (I watched the DVDs so it wasn't the censors that got to it either). I mean, we don't even see him killing people.
It felt like a lame rip-off of CSI that they decided to make "edgy". But edgy for a CBS audience.
I want something more like American Psycho . The book, not the movie. If he's not starving a sewer rat only to put it in a tube up a woman's lady bits or burning nipples off with a blowtorch (was it a blowtorch?) then I'm not interested.
Seriously, Dexter was astoundingly dull. The only good part was the excellent opening sequence that not only worked really well and looked great, but never failed to make me intensely hungry.
Man, Dexter sucked. It had terrible acting by everyone except the lead, a dumb backstory, and the guy isn't even a serial killer, just a vigilante. Plus, they totally wuss out and never show us anything even remotely gorey (I watched the DVDs so it wasn't the censors that got to it either). I mean, we don't even see him killing people.
It felt like a lame rip-off of CSI that they decided to make "edgy". But edgy for a CBS audience.
I want something more like American Psycho . The book, not the movie. If he's not starving a sewer rat only to put it in a tube up a woman's lady bits or burning nipples off with a blowtorch (was it a blowtorch?) then I'm not interested.
Seriously, Dexter was astoundingly dull. The only good part was the excellent opening sequence that not only worked really well and looked great, but never failed to make me intensely hungry.
stereo
+0 -0
I'm pretty sure that as a civilian, killing people for the fun of it makes you a serial killer. Sure, he chooses targets that "deserve" to die - but he needs to kill.
I think you wanting to watch people die puts you in the minority.
I'm pretty sure that as a civilian, killing people for the fun of it makes you a serial killer. Sure, he chooses targets that "deserve" to die - but he needs to kill.
I think you wanting to watch people die puts you in the minority.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
...Sje?
...Sje?
sje46
+0 -0
Frederick? What is it, dear friend?
Frederick? What is it, dear friend?
belgand
+0 -0
But the idea of using it to mete out justice and choose deserving targets really just changes the show around and makes him less a serial killer and more of a vigilante. It's more like a one-man lynch mob.
Now, if we saw him taking his time, clearly enjoying it that might make it a bit different, not enough, but closer. It really just doesn't work. Picking someone who "deserves" to die in a manner that might be sympathetic to audience really cuts through many of the conventional problems of serial killing. I don't agree with capital punishment in any situation myself, but still. If he had insane reasons for why people deserved it I might be there, but no.
He just ends up coming across as a cop who goes too far in order to see that "justice" is done. I want stalking, I want fantasizing about the kill, I want him to reminisce about past kills. Yes he saves blood (because he's a massive idiot... also a very lame trophy to keep), but it's nowhere near close enough to sell him to me as an actual serial killer.
But the idea of using it to mete out justice and choose deserving targets really just changes the show around and makes him less a serial killer and more of a vigilante. It's more like a one-man lynch mob.
Now, if we saw him taking his time, clearly enjoying it that might make it a bit different, not enough, but closer. It really just doesn't work. Picking someone who "deserves" to die in a manner that might be sympathetic to audience really cuts through many of the conventional problems of serial killing. I don't agree with capital punishment in any situation myself, but still. If he had insane reasons for why people deserved it I might be there, but no.
He just ends up coming across as a cop who goes too far in order to see that "justice" is done. I want stalking, I want fantasizing about the kill, I want him to reminisce about past kills. Yes he saves blood (because he's a massive idiot... also a very lame trophy to keep), but it's nowhere near close enough to sell him to me as an actual serial killer.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
I think your reasons for debunking the show are more to do with your taste in serial killer depiction. As far as psychopathy goes it's reasonably accurate. The show seems far more about Dexter as an odd anomaly of a psychopathy disorder. All psych disorders work on a continuum.
As far as him killing in a audience approved way, well, I guess that's more of a Narcissist thing but it's not too much of a stretch.
I think your reasons for debunking the show are more to do with your taste in serial killer depiction. As far as psychopathy goes it's reasonably accurate. The show seems far more about Dexter as an odd anomaly of a psychopathy disorder. All psych disorders work on a continuum.
As far as him killing in a audience approved way, well, I guess that's more of a Narcissist thing but it's not too much of a stretch.
stereo
+0 -0
The most disappointing for me is that he seems to actually give a shit about Rita.
It just doesn't fit the pattern.
The most disappointing for me is that he seems to actually give a shit about Rita.
It just doesn't fit the pattern.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You've thought about this.
You've thought about this.
cracklewater
+1 -0
You might have missed the full message: "people will always need fur, fur to keep them warm, warm in the burning, merciless Australian desert."
the first Mad Max film is creepy Seventies masterpiece. It seems about 45 minutes into the future from current-day Australia.
You might have missed the full message: "people will always need fur, fur to keep them warm, warm in the burning, merciless Australian desert."
the first Mad Max film is creepy Seventies masterpiece. It seems about 45 minutes into the future from current-day Australia.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i agree with this.
i agree with this comment.
i agree with this.
i agree with this comment.
octafish
+0 -0
See you on the road scag!
See you on the road scag!
wozzeck
+0 -0
Since I exiled myself from New Jersey, it has been my tradition to send all my friends a "See you on the road scag! We'll see you like we saw the Night Rider!" text message every New Year's.
Since I exiled myself from New Jersey, it has been my tradition to send all my friends a "See you on the road scag! We'll see you like we saw the Night Rider!" text message every New Year's.
speccer
+0 -0
You exiled yourself from Jersey, too? We should start a club.
You exiled yourself from Jersey, too? We should start a club.
belgand
+1 -0
So Mad Max is 45 minutes into the future.
Max Headroom is 15 minutes into the future.
What is 30 minutes into the future? Mad Headroom?
So Mad Max is 45 minutes into the future.
Max Headroom is 15 minutes into the future.
What is 30 minutes into the future? Mad Headroom?
wozzeck
+0 -0
Wake me when we get here:
[IMGS OFF]
Wake me when we get here:
[IMGS OFF]
belgand
+0 -0
What is that La Planete sauvage ? I keep meaning to see that. On the queue it goes.
What is that La Planete sauvage ? I keep meaning to see that. On the queue it goes.
sje46
+0 -0
It looks like a disturbing version of Gulliver's Travels.
It looks like a disturbing version of Gulliver's Travels.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
As opposed to the original, non-disturbing version? You druuuuunk , homes.
As opposed to the original, non-disturbing version? You druuuuunk , homes.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Yo dis car got maaaad headroom, you should buy it, son.
Yo dis car got maaaad headroom, you should buy it, son.
belgand
+0 -0
YO DAWG WE HEARD YOU LIKE HEAD, SO WE PUT MAD HEADROOM IN YOUR CAR SO YOU CAN WEAR A HAT WHILE YOU DRIVE.
YO DAWG WE HEARD YOU LIKE HEAD, SO WE PUT MAD HEADROOM IN YOUR CAR SO YOU CAN WEAR A HAT WHILE YOU DRIVE.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
YOU LIKE DEM BIG OLD TOP HATS LIKE OLD ABE LINCOLN WORE WELL GOOD NEWS MAN YOU GOT DA ROOM FOR DAT NOW NO OTHER CAR IN DA WORLD OR EVEN DA GALAXIVERSE GOT DIS MUCH HEADROOM SHEEEEEYIT
YOU LIKE DEM BIG OLD TOP HATS LIKE OLD ABE LINCOLN WORE WELL GOOD NEWS MAN YOU GOT DA ROOM FOR DAT NOW NO OTHER CAR IN DA WORLD OR EVEN DA GALAXIVERSE GOT DIS MUCH HEADROOM SHEEEEEYIT
tekende
+0 -0
Okay, what is this? This whole "WE HEARD YOU LIKE ___ SO WE PUT ___ IN YOUR CAR" shit. What are you doing?
Okay, what is this? This whole "WE HEARD YOU LIKE ___ SO WE PUT ___ IN YOUR CAR" shit. What are you doing?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
The joke is, you answered your question in your question.
The joke is, you answered your question in your question.
tekende
+0 -0
No, I didn't.
No, I didn't.
sje46
+0 -0
Heres a hint:
[IMGS OFF]
Heres a hint:
[IMGS OFF]
sje46
+0 -0
The hint is a black man eating a car.
The hint is a black man eating a car.
tekende
+0 -0
Ah. Thanks.
Ah. Thanks.
rowboat
+0 -0
I think it's Pimp My Ride.
I think it's Pimp My Ride.
rowboat
+0 -0
I was late.
I was late.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't know, I'm just following the trend.
I don't know, I'm just following the trend.
cracklewater
+0 -0
I believe Max Headroom was actually 20 minutes into the future (which did indeed influence my choice of 45 minutes for Mad Max).
Most of the Night Rider's lines in the opening scenes are AC/DC lyrics. But I think my favourite quote would be:
"Anything ... I say. What a wonderful philosophy y'have."
Sadly, Reg Evans, the actor who played the terrified station master in that scene died in the Victorian bushfires of early February 2009. RIP.
I believe Max Headroom was actually 20 minutes into the future (which did indeed influence my choice of 45 minutes for Mad Max).
Most of the Night Rider's lines in the opening scenes are AC/DC lyrics. But I think my favourite quote would be:
"Anything ... I say. What a wonderful philosophy y'have."
Sadly, Reg Evans, the actor who played the terrified station master in that scene died in the Victorian bushfires of early February 2009. RIP.
belgand
+0 -0
You're correct. Sorry for the error. That'll learn me not to fact-check obsessively.
You're correct. Sorry for the error. That'll learn me not to fact-check obsessively.
octafish
+0 -0
That must be your friend over there. They didn't leave much of him.
Must've cut his heart out, eh?
Yes. That's what I meant. Poor bastard!
That must be your friend over there. They didn't leave much of him.
Must've cut his heart out, eh?
Yes. That's what I meant. Poor bastard!
stereo
+0 -0
I would like one million dollars worth of potatos.
Think of all the things you can do with 1200 Tonnes of potato.
I would like one million dollars worth of potatos.
Think of all the things you can do with 1200 Tonnes of potato.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Ummm, you could break a lot of glassware? Throw out your back? Repopulate Ireland?
Ummm, you could break a lot of glassware? Throw out your back? Repopulate Ireland?
woodenteeth
+1 -0
I just imagine hedonismbot, running around Ireland, strategically placing potatoes everywhere, little eyes and noses drawn on them...
I just imagine hedonismbot, running around Ireland, strategically placing potatoes everywhere, little eyes and noses drawn on them...
gladi8orrex
+1 -0
heck o clever dogg i gib chup 2 regocnize
heck o clever dogg i gib chup 2 regocnize
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Fun fact: Germans have potatoes delivered to their house the way I think a lot of Americans used to have coal delivered to their house ie: everyday and through a chute into the basement, which is also how I have my sex slaves delivered. So maybe he wants to overpopulate Germany.
Fun fact: Germans have potatoes delivered to their house the way I think a lot of Americans used to have coal delivered to their house ie: everyday and through a chute into the basement, which is also how I have my sex slaves delivered. So maybe he wants to overpopulate Germany.
belgand
+0 -0
Is this actually true? If so, what do they do if they live in apartments or houses without basements?
I can't think of anything I need delivered to my house daily, except, well, y'know, mail.
Is this actually true? If so, what do they do if they live in apartments or houses without basements?
I can't think of anything I need delivered to my house daily, except, well, y'know, mail.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I don't know, but my German professor told me, and I assume it's contained to a kind of bin in the corner or something. I bet they can use most of the rest of the basement. I don't imagine tons and tons of potatoes being delivered to every German household everyday. Maybe like 10 potatoes every few days. I have no clue.
I don't know, but my German professor told me, and I assume it's contained to a kind of bin in the corner or something. I bet they can use most of the rest of the basement. I don't imagine tons and tons of potatoes being delivered to every German household everyday. Maybe like 10 potatoes every few days. I have no clue.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Just so's you know, from my experience of Germany this is total bullshit. Unless it's the sort of thing they hide from foreigners?
Just so's you know, from my experience of Germany this is total bullshit. Unless it's the sort of thing they hide from foreigners?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No clue, never been there. Just heard from my professor. Maybe she's a liar.
No clue, never been there. Just heard from my professor. Maybe she's a liar.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Maybe she's laughing her ass off telling her peers about the outrageous falsehoods she is shining her numbnuts Beginning German class on with.
Or maybe she isn't.
Maybe she's laughing her ass off telling her peers about the outrageous falsehoods she is shining her numbnuts Beginning German class on with.
Or maybe she isn't.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition at.
You shouldn't end a sentence with a preposition at.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."
"Ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Is put a preposition? Isn't it a verb...? CoNfUsIoN BoX.
Is put a preposition? Isn't it a verb...? CoNfUsIoN BoX.
sje46
+0 -0
It's a verb.
It's a verb.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
That's what I thought, it doesn't pre-posit anything.
That's what I thought, it doesn't pre-posit anything.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
You shouldn't believe everything your professors tell you to.
You shouldn't believe everything your professors tell you to.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You shouldn't with to at.
You shouldn't with to at.
stereo
+0 -0
Why would you tell foreigners about your potato delivery system? That would compromise the security!
Why would you tell foreigners about your potato delivery system? That would compromise the security!
irondave
+0 -0
They also wrestle each other for cabbages* in the town square.
*Kohlwringen
They also wrestle each other for cabbages* in the town square.
*Kohlwringen
wingspan
+0 -0
I'm worth a million in prizes....or at least I was until 4 Australian retards stole my tune and shit all over me.
I'm worth a million in prizes....or at least I was until 4 Australian retards stole my tune and shit all over me.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm worth a million Australian retards.
I'm worth a million Australian retards.
stereo
+0 -0
Yeah cause "doo doo doo.. doo doo doo-doo doo" all on the same note is one hell of a tune.
Yeah cause "doo doo doo.. doo doo doo-doo doo" all on the same note is one hell of a tune.
missbee
+0 -0
This is adorable. I now have to go show this to my big hot tranny mess. <3
This is adorable. I now have to go show this to my big hot tranny mess. <3
tangles
+0 -0
feel the love, feel the love 'til it hurts
feel the love, feel the love 'til it hurts
saurkraus
+1 -0
To all subscribers and to Mr Onstad, thank you, that is so awesome!
To all subscribers and to Mr Onstad, thank you, that is so awesome!
sanjulian
+0 -0
but...how is this canon relevant?
but...how is this canon relevant?
belgand
+0 -0
There was a rather large, yet attractive transvestite standing right in front of the cannon before it went off accidentally as a result of Lyle throwing the bottle of John.
There was a rather large, yet attractive transvestite standing right in front of the cannon before it went off accidentally as a result of Lyle throwing the bottle of John.
jlowe424
+0 -0
Phillpe has found the one phrase that cures Roast Beef's depression! Huzzahs are in order, I believe.
Phillpe has found the one phrase that cures Roast Beef's depression! Huzzahs are in order, I believe.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Panel 5, you are not convincing, Lyle now looks like he has a minature beard below his larger one, like that Alien movie with the jaw inside the larger one except not scary and not really like that at all really...
Panel 5, you are not convincing, Lyle now looks like he has a minature beard below his larger one, like that Alien movie with the jaw inside the larger one except not scary and not really like that at all really...
cracklewater
+0 -0
I disagree, because:
1) The surprised/happy mouth making its debut on Lyle's face has been used several times on Ray and even once or twice on Beef.
2) Lyle has never looked as though he has a beard - large or otherwise - to me, just a moustache and a feline muzzle.
I disagree, because:
1) The surprised/happy mouth making its debut on Lyle's face has been used several times on Ray and even once or twice on Beef.
2) Lyle has never looked as though he has a beard - large or otherwise - to me, just a moustache and a feline muzzle.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Damn. Yes. I meant mostache... basically I was trying to convey my discontent over Lyle's mostache looking like a big mouth and that I still have trouble seeing it as anything else, even when his actual mouth appears.
I have poorly conveyed my concerns and apologise to yourself and randyleepublic who both felt I was making some kind of debateable point. The problem is mine. Leave me here. Go on with your lives.
Damn. Yes. I meant mostache... basically I was trying to convey my discontent over Lyle's mostache looking like a big mouth and that I still have trouble seeing it as anything else, even when his actual mouth appears.
I have poorly conveyed my concerns and apologise to yourself and randyleepublic who both felt I was making some kind of debateable point. The problem is mine. Leave me here. Go on with your lives.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Don't see that at all. In order from top to bottom there are: 1) His whiskers. 2) The left and right sides of his snout. 3) His lower jaw.
Just like any Tiger. Post-op or no.
Don't see that at all. In order from top to bottom there are: 1) His whiskers. 2) The left and right sides of his snout. 3) His lower jaw.
Just like any Tiger. Post-op or no.
skiddyfisk
+0 -0
Normally, I'd assume Philippe heard that phrase from Lyle, but that does not appear to be its origin. I hereby posit it came from Todd. Thoughts?
Normally, I'd assume Philippe heard that phrase from Lyle, but that does not appear to be its origin. I hereby posit it came from Todd. Thoughts?
octafish
+0 -0
As mentioned in a number of other posts it is a catchphrase from some fashion TV show. Something called "Project Runway" it sounds like a real thing. Either way I still don't like your fashion business mister, I don't like these drugs that keep you thin...
As mentioned in a number of other posts it is a catchphrase from some fashion TV show. Something called "Project Runway" it sounds like a real thing. Either way I still don't like your fashion business mister, I don't like these drugs that keep you thin...
autrepoupee
+5 -0
And I don't like what happened to my sister
Seriously though, how did so many of you not know that was Christopher Seriano's catchphrase? Don't tell me you never experienced the joy that was Santino's Tim Gunn impression?
And I don't like what happened to my sister
Seriously though, how did so many of you not know that was Christopher Seriano's catchphrase? Don't tell me you never experienced the joy that was Santino's Tim Gunn impression?
blueloggy
+0 -0
Thank you for this comment. I was hoping for a fellow ProRun fan to come out here.
Thank you for this comment. I was hoping for a fellow ProRun fan to come out here.
talix18
+0 -0
Talix18: Making it work since Season 3.
Talix18: Making it work since Season 3.
talix18
+0 -0
Christian Siriano, AKA Princess Puffy Sleeves.
Christian Siriano, AKA Princess Puffy Sleeves.
emosexy
+2 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
brokeaccount
+0 -0
What is it with gay guys and glasses that are too big for their face?
What is it with gay guys and glasses that are too big for their face?
wozzeck
+3 -0
Eye protection. (And now is the time to regret asking.)
Eye protection. (And now is the time to regret asking.)
wolfensti
+0 -0
Do you mean that chemist are homosexuals?
RETRACT
Do you mean that chemist are homosexuals?
RETRACT
scorpio_nadir
+2 -0
Your molecular structure is H-O-M-O instead of H-OO-M. Get over it.
Your molecular structure is H-O-M-O instead of H-OO-M. Get over it.
wolfensti
+1 -0
Your lack of knowledge of basic chemistry render your argument invalid. H-O-M=O would be valid, but then again you could go fuck yourself.
Your lack of knowledge of basic chemistry render your argument invalid. H-O-M=O would be valid, but then again you could go fuck yourself.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
how did you get the equal sign
how did you get the equal sign
wolfensti
+0 -0
Science
Science
wolfensti
+0 -0
experimentation
experimentation
wolfensti
+0 -0
well i'm still away from the plus, but hey, still pretty nice
well i'm still away from the plus, but hey, still pretty nice
nice-on-water
+0 -0
like TV?
like TV?
miaou
+0 -0
= = %u2261
Sorry, I had to try...
= = %u2261
Sorry, I had to try...
miaou
+0 -0
Erh... I must have missed something. What's so hard in using equal signs?
Erh... I must have missed something. What's so hard in using equal signs?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Nothing, it's plus signs that getting eaten by the 'Bar.
Nothing, it's plus signs that getting eaten by the 'Bar.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
=
=
nice-on-water
+0 -0
well I'll be damned
well I'll be damned
sje46
+0 -0
sje46=confused.
sje46=confused.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
plusplusplus
plusplusplus
miaou
+0 -0
- Ray -
- Ray -
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WHO STOLE MY DANG PLUS SIGNS??
WHO STOLE MY DANG PLUS SIGNS??
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
-|- how about a dash-pipe-dash? or a leetle t?
What if you bbcode a plus sign....
-|- how about a dash-pipe-dash? or a leetle t?
What if you bbcode a plus sign....
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Wanna see that plus sign.
Wanna see that plus sign.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
hmmm.|
hmmm.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
haha.||
haha.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
one more time...T
one more time...
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I ?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
FACK
2 I 2 = 4
FACK
2
nice-on-water
+0 -0
:(
:(
miaou
+0 -0
[/img]https://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr337/regionbug/plus.jpg[img]
I now have the best reason to ask for chubbies.
[/img]https://i497.photobucket.com/albums/rr337/regionbug/plus.jpg[img]
I now have the best reason to ask for chubbies.
miaou
+0 -0
FUCK ME! Trying to be funny, take two.
[IMGS OFF]
I now have the best reason to ask for chubbies.
FUCK ME! Trying to be funny, take two.
[IMGS OFF]
I now have the best reason to ask for chubbies.
mattylite
+2 -0
It woulda worked in Hebrew BBCode...
It woulda worked in Hebrew BBCode...
tripperday
+0 -0
Nice. I need to start listening to Leonard Cohen again.
Anyway, every show is incredibly easy to miss if you've got cable. Basically, there has to a dearth of non-military documentaries, animation, cooking, eating, traveling, supernatural comedies, supernatural action, police procedurals, and stand-up comedy before I would even turn the channel to a reality television show.
Nice. I need to start listening to Leonard Cohen again.
Anyway, every show is incredibly easy to miss if you've got cable. Basically, there has to a dearth of non-military documentaries, animation, cooking, eating, traveling, supernatural comedies, supernatural action, police procedurals, and stand-up comedy before I would even turn the channel to a reality television show.
spicyponyhead
+0 -1
I've never heard the phrase, nor heard of the dude whose mouth it comes from. I think I've heard the name of the show, but I'm one of those damned California hippies who don't have or want a TV, so...there ya go.
I've never heard the phrase, nor heard of the dude whose mouth it comes from. I think I've heard the name of the show, but I'm one of those damned California hippies who don't have or want a TV, so...there ya go.
daidai
+3 -0
God damned pink hippies and their golden eggs
God damned pink hippies and their golden eggs
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I have no TV and I am neither Californian or Hippie.
It is nice living without the constant drip of that toxic effluent called popular culture.
I have no TV and I am neither Californian or Hippie.
It is nice living without the constant drip of that toxic effluent called popular culture.
wozzeck
+0 -0
People would often ask me, "Well, then what do you do?"
"I read ," I would tell them, "and I think ."
Then I just gave up and stopped speaking to them altogether.
People would often ask me, "Well, then what do you do?"
"I read ," I would tell them, "and I think ."
Then I just gave up and stopped speaking to them altogether.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
i don't know i manage to fit reading and thinking in with television, and so does my entire family, and most of my friends.
It isn't impossible, one does not preclude the other.
i don't know i manage to fit reading and thinking in with television, and so does my entire family, and most of my friends.
It isn't impossible, one does not preclude the other.
wozzeck
+0 -0
Look at that sass! That's what happens when TV's rotted your brains. You'll never marry now!
Look at that sass! That's what happens when TV's rotted your brains. You'll never marry now!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Her maidenhead is tainted anyway! She'll end up being betrothed to a blacksmith due to her sassy ways!
Her maidenhead is tainted anyway! She'll end up being betrothed to a blacksmith due to her sassy ways!
wozzeck
+1 -0
Blacksmithing is a fine and well renumerated trade.
More the likely she'll spend her days spinning thread from the hair of her multitude of house-cats, selling it to charitable souls who will discard the fruit of her eccentric labors the very moment she is out of sight.
Blacksmithing is a fine and well renumerated trade.
More the likely she'll spend her days spinning thread from the hair of her multitude of house-cats, selling it to charitable souls who will discard the fruit of her eccentric labors the very moment she is out of sight.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
THE TOWN BLACKSMITH IS A DRUNKARD ANYWAY. FIE ON YOU WOZZECK FOR DARING TO QUESTION ME.
THE TOWN BLACKSMITH IS A DRUNKARD ANYWAY. FIE ON YOU WOZZECK FOR DARING TO QUESTION ME.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Hiram the Blacksmith says, "Would you like a backrub?"
Hiram the Blacksmith says, "Would you like a backrub?"
belgand
+0 -0
Indeed, have you not seen his rippling muscles? His formidable beard? His massive, heavy tool? I would not wish to become known as a man who does not think kindly of blacksmithing were I the type who liked his bones to remain where they are.
Indeed, have you not seen his rippling muscles? His formidable beard? His massive, heavy tool? I would not wish to become known as a man who does not think kindly of blacksmithing were I the type who liked his bones to remain where they are.
octafish
+0 -0
Under a spreading chestnut-tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.
I... I learnt this by rote in primary school, I am still not sure why though.
* Shakes Fist *
LONGFELLOW!
Under a spreading chestnut-tree
The village smithy stands;
The smith, a mighty man is he,
With large and sinewy hands;
And the muscles of his brawny arms
Are strong as iron bands.
I... I learnt this by rote in primary school, I am still not sure why though.
* Shakes Fist *
LONGFELLOW!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
Seems to be only thinly-veiled homoeroticism.
*Shakes Longfellow*
FIST!
Seems to be only thinly-veiled homoeroticism.
*Shakes Longfellow*
FIST!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
jokes on you, wozzeck
domestic cats don't have long enough hair to weave!
it comes from me own head, it does!
CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE
jokes on you, wozzeck
domestic cats don't have long enough hair to weave!
it comes from me own head, it does!
CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE
stereo
+0 -0
I am a crazy Cousin It lady.
I make rugs out of the dead ones
I am a crazy Cousin It lady.
I make rugs out of the dead ones
rowboat
+1 -0
T.V.'s underrated. You just have to have basic cable and know how to watch it. There is nothing uncool or unintelligent about watching good T.V.* That's just something people are supposed to say.
* - This is obviously exaggerated, but I'm doing it for effect so bear with me.
T.V.'s underrated. You just have to have basic cable and know how to watch it. There is nothing uncool or unintelligent about watching good T.V.* That's just something people are supposed to say.
* - This is obviously exaggerated, but I'm doing it for effect so bear with me.
belgand
+0 -0
TiVo really helps quite a bit with this as well. I think the problem is people aimlessly flipping around. When you watch TV with a purpose you'll find the process works a lot better.
I also think that people who dismiss TV have never enjoyed the pleasure of watching Nova.
TiVo really helps quite a bit with this as well. I think the problem is people aimlessly flipping around. When you watch TV with a purpose you'll find the process works a lot better.
I also think that people who dismiss TV have never enjoyed the pleasure of watching Nova.
rowboat
+0 -0
I have a DVR and this is true. I can watch Iron Chef at 4 p.m., I can watch Iron Chef at 4 a.m. It is my choice.
I have a DVR and this is true. I can watch Iron Chef at 4 p.m., I can watch Iron Chef at 4 a.m. It is my choice.
tekende
+0 -0
Now belgand is going to tell us all about why Iron Chef is a terrible show and why we shouldn't like it.
Now belgand is going to tell us all about why Iron Chef is a terrible show and why we shouldn't like it.
rowboat
+0 -0
He wouldn't fucking dare.
He wouldn't fucking dare.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I would fucking cut him. I would cut his face.
I would fucking cut him. I would cut his face.
belgand
+0 -0
You would be right to do so. I would not respect you if you did not.
We're not talking about the American version where they pretend like Bobby Flay doesn't need to have his balls torn off by enraged birds-of-prey though, right?
You would be right to do so. I would not respect you if you did not.
We're not talking about the American version where they pretend like Bobby Flay doesn't need to have his balls torn off by enraged birds-of-prey though, right?
rowboat
+0 -0
I hope I don't really have to answer that question. I don't, do I?
Seriously, though - while I've only seen maybe two full episodes of it, I will go as far as saying that the American version does have a couple of things going for it, namely Alton Brown and Masaharu Morimoto. But even those two bona fide culinary heroes are not near enough to make me want to sit through it.
No. I refer to the original.
I hope I don't really have to answer that question. I don't, do I?
Seriously, though - while I've only seen maybe two full episodes of it, I will go as far as saying that the American version does have a couple of things going for it, namely Alton Brown and Masaharu Morimoto. But even those two bona fide culinary heroes are not near enough to make me want to sit through it.
No. I refer to the original.
belgand
+0 -0
I want to like Alton Brown on it an he is an obvious and seemingly ideal choice, but somehow it never seems like he works in that role from what little of the new version I've seen.
I want to like Alton Brown on it an he is an obvious and seemingly ideal choice, but somehow it never seems like he works in that role from what little of the new version I've seen.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I would fucking cut him. I would cut his face.
I would fucking cut him. I would cut his face.
stereo
+0 -0
People who enjoy tv have never had to share a tv.
People who enjoy tv have never had to share a tv.
rowboat
+0 -0
Maybe you have a point there.
Maybe you have a point there.
tekende
+0 -0
Santino's Tim Gunn impression was, indeed, pure, unbridled joy. That was the last season of Project Runway I watched regularly, though.
Santino's Tim Gunn impression was, indeed, pure, unbridled joy. That was the last season of Project Runway I watched regularly, though.
belgand
+0 -0
Because reality shows are an abomination and I have never stained my pristine eyes or ears with their filth.
Actually, I guess that's not entirely true. I saw a small part of the Amazing Race, but only because I knew someone who was on it and I was in a public place where it was playing.
Because reality shows are an abomination and I have never stained my pristine eyes or ears with their filth.
Actually, I guess that's not entirely true. I saw a small part of the Amazing Race, but only because I knew someone who was on it and I was in a public place where it was playing.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Heterosexuality keeps me uninformed :(
Heterosexuality keeps me uninformed :(
stereo
+2 -0
I'm sorry but that revelation ruins the strip for me. The thought that Philippe watches popular television makes him part of that very large group of people that I cannot relate to, to me this strip now tells of the death of a character, because from now on nothing Philippe does can or will ever be funny again.
I'm sorry but that revelation ruins the strip for me. The thought that Philippe watches popular television makes him part of that very large group of people that I cannot relate to, to me this strip now tells of the death of a character, because from now on nothing Philippe does can or will ever be funny again.
illgamesh
+0 -0
You can't relate to people who watch popular television, but you've got a Batman avatar? You rebel, you!
You can't relate to people who watch popular television, but you've got a Batman avatar? You rebel, you!
stereo
+0 -0
I only make Batman comic references, never television show references.
So it doubles as a Christian Bale and Batman avatar, depending on my needs.
I only make Batman comic references, never television show references.
So it doubles as a Christian Bale and Batman avatar, depending on my needs.
tekende
+0 -0
There are few things on the internet better than having a Christian Bale avatar.
There are few things on the internet better than having a Christian Bale avatar.
i_love_kate
+6 -0
Wow! That's a pretty impressive alternative viewpoint you got going on there, Stereo!
Wow! That's a pretty impressive alternative viewpoint you got going on there, Stereo!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Don't be that way, you big hot tranny mess/elitist. That is a dick thing.
Don't be that way, you big hot tranny mess/elitist. That is a dick thing.
goro
+0 -0
Thanks, fuckers! For real! I loved this strip!
Thanks, fuckers! For real! I loved this strip!
niggar
+0 -0
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, Prine, HNimrod)
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, Prine, HNimrod)
tekende
+1 -0
Well, that went to kind of a weird place.
Well, that went to kind of a weird place.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That escalated quickly.
That escalated quickly.
falseprophet
+0 -0
That got pretty stiff.
That got pretty stiff.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I have a boner now.
I have a boner now.
catgrl131
+1 -0
8===D~~~
8===D~~~
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Ow my eye! Why did you OH HOLY HELL NOT ON THE NEW FUCKING COUCH
Now I can't enjoy my day, because of a cumshot.
Ow my eye! Why did you OH HOLY HELL NOT ON THE NEW FUCKING COUCH
Now I can't enjoy my day, because of a cumshot.
belgand
+0 -0
Some of it got on my rim!
Some of it got on my rim!
sje46
+0 -0
That goateed fellow has quite a nose.
That goateed fellow has quite a nose.
rumblefish
+8 -0
Due to a mix up at Amazon Philippe's Mom accidentally sent him The Big Book of Sassy Insults for Fashion Industry Hangers On.
Somewhere an annoyed man named Marcelletto now owns a book detailing the history of various knots.
Due to a mix up at Amazon Philippe's Mom accidentally sent him The Big Book of Sassy Insults for Fashion Industry Hangers On.
Somewhere an annoyed man named Marcelletto now owns a book detailing the history of various knots.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Soon, Marcelletto will find a twisty, new unexpected use for the Compleat History of Knots.
Trust me on this.
Soon, Marcelletto will find a twisty, new unexpected use for the Compleat History of Knots.
Trust me on this.
achewood
+1 -0
Lyle is pleased because Philippe has discovered that he is, in fact, a transsexual. You're welcome.
Lyle is pleased because Philippe has discovered that he is, in fact, a transsexual. You're welcome.
randyleepublic
+0 -0
I mean, the thought crossed my mind, but I was all, "Nah, no way." "Lyle?" "He used to be a girl?" "Nah!" I don't think so. His deal with Darlene goes way too far back. Doesn't add up. Nah.
I mean, the thought crossed my mind, but I was all, "Nah, no way." "Lyle?" "He used to be a girl?" "Nah!" I don't think so. His deal with Darlene goes way too far back. Doesn't add up. Nah.
niggar
+0 -0
Why else would Onstad call this strip "canon-relevant", dingus?
Why else would Onstad call this strip "canon-relevant", dingus?
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
It's "canon-relevant" because the windfall check in the last panel gives the otter his first taste of power. Things get serious after that.
It's "canon-relevant" because the windfall check in the last panel gives the otter his first taste of power. Things get serious after that.
wolfensti
+1 -0
Cuddlenacht !
Cuddlenacht !
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Son of a bitch; that's how it starts. Damn it, Onstad, this is stuff we really all need to know!
Son of a bitch; that's how it starts. Damn it, Onstad, this is stuff we really all need to know!
niggar
+0 -0
Don't know if you're joking, but you're probably aware that Onstad never plans his strips that far in advance.
Don't know if you're joking, but you're probably aware that Onstad never plans his strips that far in advance.
sje46
+0 -0
He has. Remember Teodor dying?
He has. Remember Teodor dying?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
The joke is that Sje is naïve.
The joke is that Sje is naïve.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Wait...that he's in the nave? That he is A knave? If only i_love_kate were still alive to tell us what he meant...
Wait...that he's in the nave? That he is A knave? If only i_love_kate were still alive to tell us what he meant...
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Gosh I wish someone would have thought to unfold that origami manatee in my bedroom so that they could find the first clue in my cryptic trail that leads to the place where I hid the Nazi gold.
I guess it just won't get found?
I guess
Gosh I wish someone would have thought to unfold that origami manatee in my bedroom so that they could find the first clue in my cryptic trail that leads to the place where I hid the Nazi gold.
I guess it just won't get found?
I guess
thegoodwillgirl
+2 -0
Didn't you know? Lyle wasn't pining for a woman named Darlene - he was pining for the days when he was a woman named Darlene.
Didn't you know? Lyle wasn't pining for a woman named Darlene - he was pining for the days when he was a woman named Darlene.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
did you mean ".. a bit hot tranny mess"?? because when you say that, that shit is funny, yo.
ha ha. lol. lofl. rotflmao.
did you mean ".. a bit hot tranny mess"?? because when you say that, that shit is funny, yo.
ha ha. lol. lofl. rotflmao.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Thus marks a new glorious day in the Achewoodiverse.
Also this is the best comic. I love Lyle's shocked and entertained expression in panel 5. And Ray's act of gratitude has inspired me to, instead of reprimanding children for using phrases of maturity, write checks of cute amounts of money.
Thus marks a new glorious day in the Achewoodiverse.
Also this is the best comic. I love Lyle's shocked and entertained expression in panel 5. And Ray's act of gratitude has inspired me to, instead of reprimanding children for using phrases of maturity, write checks of cute amounts of money.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Wow. So, the hypertext. Wow.
Does this mean past strips of great relevance, i.e. the exclusive Roast Beef / Molly wedding strips, will also be released?
Wow. So, the hypertext. Wow.
Does this mean past strips of great relevance, i.e. the exclusive Roast Beef / Molly wedding strips, will also be released?
overman
+0 -0
I'm feeling the love.
I'm feeling the love.
theirateturk
+0 -2
wow ray is fatt. did anyone else notice this b4??
wow ray is fatt. did anyone else notice this b4??
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
That's why its canon-relevant.
That's why its canon-relevant.
ravigotte
+0 -0
DJ Ray Got Pretty Chubby This Year
DJ Ray Got Pretty Chubby This Year
featurelessvoid
+9 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Quite a big, hot mess, really.
[IMGS OFF]
Quite a big, hot mess, really.
tangles
+0 -0
i love you
i love you
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ta;ee
ta;ee
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
too awesome; eyes exploded
too awesome; eyes exploded
tsume454
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF] My big hot tranny mess :P
[IMGS OFF] My big hot tranny mess :P
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Oh fucking BOO TO THAT!!! Tell me you didn't drive it with the case partly cracked, and it just blew?
Oh, the trannamity!
Oh fucking BOO TO THAT!!! Tell me you didn't drive it with the case partly cracked, and it just blew?
Oh, the trannamity!
tsume454
+0 -0
Nope. Flywheel 'sploded. Too many powershifts at too many revs too many times. Got a scattershield now...
Nope. Flywheel 'sploded. Too many powershifts at too many revs too many times. Got a scattershield now...
belgand
+0 -0
Yet another reason to move entirely to drive-by-wire.
Yet another reason to move entirely to drive-by-wire.
tsume454
+0 -0
Nah. Gonna lower my shift point to about 6800 rpm and get a better flywheel. Drive by wire would not change the metallurgy of my flywheel nor my predisposition to sticky tires and high RPM clutch dumps.
Nah. Gonna lower my shift point to about 6800 rpm and get a better flywheel. Drive by wire would not change the metallurgy of my flywheel nor my predisposition to sticky tires and high RPM clutch dumps.
tekende
+3 -0
This is how this post sounds to me:
Quote:
This is how this post sounds to me:
Quote:
Nah. Gonna blah blah blah blah blah blah and get a better blah. Blah blah blah blah not change the blah blah blah blah blah predisposition to sticky tires and blah blah blah blah.
rowboat
+0 -0
I assume he's talking about dancing.
I assume he's talking about dancing.
tsume454
+5 -0
Things I learned from Achewood:
1.) Don't egghead in the ghetto
2.) Don't gearhead in the barrio
Things I learned from Achewood:
1.) Don't egghead in the ghetto
2.) Don't gearhead in the barrio
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
I thought that Lyle's mustache was over-compensating for something.
I thought that Lyle's mustache was over-compensating for something.
desert_donkey
+0 -1
"You're just a big hot tranny mess."
wow. the genius. i am going to using this all the time now for laughs at parties, etc. great line. just fucking excellent.
strip rating: *
"You're just a big hot tranny mess."
wow. the genius. i am going to using this all the time now for laughs at parties, etc. great line. just fucking excellent.
strip rating: *
nabeel84
+0 -0
Damnit finish your e's Ray
Damnit finish your e's Ray
kickstart
+2 -0
just because Ray enjoys the fine fashion style of Esprit is no reason to curse at him.
just because Ray enjoys the fine fashion style of Esprit is no reason to curse at him.
wiliamthepleasr
+0 -0
Chubby. Even though you are wrong.
Chubby. Even though you are wrong.
cracklewater
+0 -0
Ray's habit of writing 'E' in this unfinished form suggests that he might have been the one who hand-lettered the label on the cassette of The Top that was in the Volvo of Despair's glovebox.
Probably just a coincidence of immature calligraphy but a little disturbing nonetheless.
Ray's habit of writing 'E' in this unfinished form suggests that he might have been the one who hand-lettered the label on the cassette of The Top that was in the Volvo of Despair's glovebox.
Probably just a coincidence of immature calligraphy but a little disturbing nonetheless.
lolsworth
+0 -0
Philippe makes the world better.
Philippe makes the world better.
arcibi
+0 -0
You know, I think this is the first time I've seen Lyle smile
You know, I think this is the first time I've seen Lyle smile
glorify
+0 -0
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
caboom
+0 -0
I'm happy that the fine cigar smoking subscribers gave pity to us lowly non-paying peasants.
I'm happy that the fine cigar smoking subscribers gave pity to us lowly non-paying peasants.
daidai
+1 -0
They are the verse-savvy nobles, we are the lowly prose-blathering comic relief.
They are the verse-savvy nobles, we are the lowly prose-blathering comic relief.
daidai
+0 -0
They are the verse-savvy nobles, we are the lowly prose-blathering comic relief.
They are the verse-savvy nobles, we are the lowly prose-blathering comic relief.
daidai
+0 -0
Oh goody. A double post. I will now carve a cross into my chest with my father's sword.
Oh goody. A double post. I will now carve a cross into my chest with my father's sword.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
I look forward to watching you clumsily grab at the blade to keep it close enough to hack in. Then cut your hand and drop the sword and dent the handle.
I look forward to watching you clumsily grab at the blade to keep it close enough to hack in. Then cut your hand and drop the sword and dent the handle.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Hey, Elliott Smith did it! (curls in a ball and cries for the pretty music)
Hey, Elliott Smith did it! (curls in a ball and cries for the pretty music)
woodenteeth
+0 -0
He used his Father's sword? Wow, I'm suprised he didn't write more LOTR inspired lyrics.
He used his Father's sword? Wow, I'm suprised he didn't write more LOTR inspired lyrics.
stereo
+0 -0
An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age.
Not that there's anything wrong with using the 1 Ring to kill hobbitses
An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age.
Not that there's anything wrong with using the 1 Ring to kill hobbitses
c_dizzle
+0 -0
I remember my subscriber-type friend telling me about this one on Valentines day. I cried out of self-pity. Seeing it here today: I cry again...for - finally - being such a hot tranny mess.
I remember my subscriber-type friend telling me about this one on Valentines day. I cried out of self-pity. Seeing it here today: I cry again...for - finally - being such a hot tranny mess.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Now to theorise about Lyle was trying to achieve with that bottle.
Now to theorise about Lyle was trying to achieve with that bottle.
coffeeannan
+0 -0
If he is like me, he will be trying to get it to bounce
If he is like me, he will be trying to get it to bounce
wolfensti
+0 -0
I said it before, he tries to spiral it. He can spiral a football with puke, he's practicing as to be able to spiral a bottle with the content of said bottle
I said it before, he tries to spiral it. He can spiral a football with puke, he's practicing as to be able to spiral a bottle with the content of said bottle
coffeeannan
+0 -0
Philippe can warm people's hearts with any phrase.
Philippe can warm people's hearts with any phrase.
lynnym
+1 -0
Finally, a strip that feels natural. God Bless the baby angel who is in charge of strips like today's.
Finally, a strip that feels natural. God Bless the baby angel who is in charge of strips like today's.
schnappm
+2 -1
Look, I understand Onstad's been busy lately, and I also understand that he needs to make money. Wanting to read more Achewood than was being posted on the main site over the last couple of months, I ponied up the 10 bucks for the three months of access to the premium content due to the promises of subscriber-only content.
Now I think it's nice that other people get to see this previously-subscriber-only strip, but I didn't pay 10 dollars for more Achewood content only to have that content later reposted in lieu of new content on the main page. I didn't pay for the content because I wanted to read the strips a week or two earlier than they got posted on the main site, and the fact that he's reposting this instead of putting a new strip on the main site irks me some.
Look, I understand Onstad's been busy lately, and I also understand that he needs to make money. Wanting to read more Achewood than was being posted on the main site over the last couple of months, I ponied up the 10 bucks for the three months of access to the premium content due to the promises of subscriber-only content.
Now I think it's nice that other people get to see this previously-subscriber-only strip, but I didn't pay 10 dollars for more Achewood content only to have that content later reposted in lieu of new content on the main page. I didn't pay for the content because I wanted to read the strips a week or two earlier than they got posted on the main site, and the fact that he's reposting this instead of putting a new strip on the main site irks me some.
schnappm
+0 -0
Also I don't check the premium section as often as I check the mainpage so I didn't realize that there was actually a vote that had gone on. Fair enough.
Also I don't check the premium section as often as I check the mainpage so I didn't realize that there was actually a vote that had gone on. Fair enough.
sunday
+0 -0
What are you talking about? You paid ten dollars to see a strip others could not see, and now you are angry because instead of reading a new comic others can read the exclusive comic? It's hard for me not to see you as a dick, because I really like this comic and I am happy that I can see it.
Anyway, I bet it's going to take Onstad a while to get into the swing of things. Achewood seems very rooted in a sort of Bay Area vibe, and now that he's in a new place I think he's going to have to figure out how to either recreate that vibe or find something new to portray.
What are you talking about? You paid ten dollars to see a strip others could not see, and now you are angry because instead of reading a new comic others can read the exclusive comic? It's hard for me not to see you as a dick, because I really like this comic and I am happy that I can see it.
Anyway, I bet it's going to take Onstad a while to get into the swing of things. Achewood seems very rooted in a sort of Bay Area vibe, and now that he's in a new place I think he's going to have to figure out how to either recreate that vibe or find something new to portray.
schnappm
+0 -0
I am not mad that you can see the strip, I am just a little annoyed that I clicked through to the Achewood homepage to look at the new strip and that there is no actual new content, a problem I was willing to pony up 10 dollars to fix
I am not mad that you can see the strip, I am just a little annoyed that I clicked through to the Achewood homepage to look at the new strip and that there is no actual new content, a problem I was willing to pony up 10 dollars to fix
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I guess you're paying to be in the know ahead of the rest of us? You could come down here to the regular strips and wave your forewarnedness in the face of us mizers and penniless students, if it'd make you feel better.
I guess you're paying to be in the know ahead of the rest of us? You could come down here to the regular strips and wave your forewarnedness in the face of us mizers and penniless students, if it'd make you feel better.
genocidefish
+0 -0
Oh wait... you just did. You big hot tranny mess.
Oh wait... you just did. You big hot tranny mess.
niggar
+0 -0
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, IronDave, miaou)
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, IronDave, miaou)
lynnym
+0 -0
If Achewood was consistently as amazing as it once was, I would shell out monies for Chris. No question. But until things get better, I will wait. The economy is rough times.
If Achewood was consistently as amazing as it once was, I would shell out monies for Chris. No question. But until things get better, I will wait. The economy is rough times.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Can I change my decision?
Keir, you are off my shit list.
Schnappm, you get to be on my shit list.
Can I change my decision?
Keir, you are off my shit list.
Schnappm, you get to be on my shit list.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
Personally, I felt the same way as schnappm when I saw this strip, the second "subscriber exclusive" in the last few weeks to make up for lack of content on the original site. Like schnappm, I came home from work to find that there was "vote" on this in the subscriber section had been introduced and finalized before I even checked my personal mail (which I rarely do at work these days).
I'm not going to lie or beat around the bush; Onstad's near complete lack of inability to meet his own deadlines for about 5 months running now, coupled with what seemed to be a new habit of taking stuff people paid for and turning it into free stuff only two weeks afterwards, was exactly what schnappm said it was: irksome.
Not incredulous or illegal or morally unjust or something to rant and rave over (blastradius), but it's been bugging me. After reading a bit of the info regarding the "vote," I was okay with it, I suppose: I don't mind a strip like this being posted here, as long as he doesn't continue to advertise it, as he he did, as a "subscriber-only strip" (exact quote).
I could be misreading Onstad's statements, but it seemed like he was admitting that he hadn't done anything for the main site (or was busy with something else), and threw up something he came up with for the subscribers as a place-saver. You can say he's doing the right thing now, but really, he did basically screw over the subscribers, at first.
There's a lot of other subscriber content that isn't put on here, and a lot of it is great. I don't regret signing up and I'll continue to subscribe; but let's face it, this was a pretty fucking sketchy move.
Oh, and for the record, I didn't want to sound like I was bitching about Onstad not putting up enough strips on here; Onstad could only post a strip on here every 2 weeks, I wouldn't mind, but damn, he should stop setting these deadlines if he's never going to meet them.
Personally, I felt the same way as schnappm when I saw this strip, the second "subscriber exclusive" in the last few weeks to make up for lack of content on the original site. Like schnappm, I came home from work to find that there was "vote" on this in the subscriber section had been introduced and finalized before I even checked my personal mail (which I rarely do at work these days).
I'm not going to lie or beat around the bush; Onstad's near complete lack of inability to meet his own deadlines for about 5 months running now, coupled with what seemed to be a new habit of taking stuff people paid for and turning it into free stuff only two weeks afterwards, was exactly what schnappm said it was: irksome.
Not incredulous or illegal or morally unjust or something to rant and rave over (blastradius), but it's been bugging me. After reading a bit of the info regarding the "vote," I was okay with it, I suppose: I don't mind a strip like this being posted here, as long as he doesn't continue to advertise it, as he he did, as a "subscriber-only strip" (exact quote).
I could be misreading Onstad's statements, but it seemed like he was admitting that he hadn't done anything for the main site (or was busy with something else), and threw up something he came up with for the subscribers as a place-saver. You can say he's doing the right thing now, but really, he did basically screw over the subscribers, at first.
There's a lot of other subscriber content that isn't put on here, and a lot of it is great. I don't regret signing up and I'll continue to subscribe; but let's face it, this was a pretty fucking sketchy move.
Oh, and for the record, I didn't want to sound like I was bitching about Onstad not putting up enough strips on here; Onstad could only post a strip on here every 2 weeks, I wouldn't mind, but damn, he should stop setting these deadlines if he's never going to meet them.
keir
+0 -0
Fair comments, but he has just moved his family to a new city while simultaneously trying to please the people who demand 4 strips a week, give him a break.
As for not meeting his own deadlines, I wouldn't want him posting something substandard on the day he said he would just because he said he would post on that day, and neither would you I'm sure.
You can't force creativity.
On the other hand, maybe he's finding it a bit tough writing for the Premium Lounge as well as the main site at the same time. After all people are paying for regular updates, but the first priority must be (and should be) the main site.
I'm just saying cut the man some slack.
Fair comments, but he has just moved his family to a new city while simultaneously trying to please the people who demand 4 strips a week, give him a break.
As for not meeting his own deadlines, I wouldn't want him posting something substandard on the day he said he would just because he said he would post on that day, and neither would you I'm sure.
You can't force creativity.
On the other hand, maybe he's finding it a bit tough writing for the Premium Lounge as well as the main site at the same time. After all people are paying for regular updates, but the first priority must be (and should be) the main site.
I'm just saying cut the man some slack.
belgand
+0 -0
I don't think it's sub-standard, I think it's him. He frequently delays it by maybe 12 hours or so. That looks, to me, like someone who started working on the strip too late and late at night realizes he isn't getting it done, has already missed his deadline, and is just going to go to sleep and finish it off in the morning.
I don't think it's sub-standard, I think it's him. He frequently delays it by maybe 12 hours or so. That looks, to me, like someone who started working on the strip too late and late at night realizes he isn't getting it done, has already missed his deadline, and is just going to go to sleep and finish it off in the morning.
keir
+0 -0
Ok, but so what? What are we, teachers waiting for a late assignment?
Ok, but so what? What are we, teachers waiting for a late assignment?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
If you say "hey strip is coming out AT THIS EXACT TIME", you should meet this deadline. This is probably the reason why most webcartoonists simply say "Updates will usually come out on such-and-such day" but will not say what TIME they are coming out, to leave leeway. I think that THIS is what is upsetting people.
I know someone else has said this, but since most of the art on the strip is copy-pasted from a bank of images, there has to be someway that Chris can just automatically upload the strip at midnight at such and such day!
If you say "hey strip is coming out AT THIS EXACT TIME", you should meet this deadline. This is probably the reason why most webcartoonists simply say "Updates will usually come out on such-and-such day" but will not say what TIME they are coming out, to leave leeway. I think that THIS is what is upsetting people.
I know someone else has said this, but since most of the art on the strip is copy-pasted from a bank of images, there has to be someway that Chris can just automatically upload the strip at midnight at such and such day!
sje46
+0 -0
Hey guys, are you talking about new and exciting topics?
Oh, you're not.
Hmm.
Hey guys, are you talking about new and exciting topics?
Oh, you're not.
Hmm.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
These are teenagers for the most part, Keir. They are from Expectations, not Circumstances.
These are teenagers for the most part, Keir. They are from Expectations, not Circumstances.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I understand the move, the hassle, the other projects, etc. I don't want to lambast the guy. He probably should've taken a month off from producing regular strips, but I'm sure he feels that he has to get something new up on this site every once in a while to draw people back, and hopefully, to the shop. Let's be practical here.
I'll state again, my problem with him not meeting his deadlines is not that I demand more Achewood, it's just that he's setting these deadlines in the first place, publicly, and hasn't been meeting them for months now, almost as a rule. Get the strip up whenever, I don't really care, but I've defintely noticed more and more people getting annoyed by the missed deadlines on assetbar, and I've also noticed less hostility to those that do (people used to get lamed to hell for complaining about that). It's kind of pathetic to see anybody set so many deadlines and almost never make them; it makes you frustrated for them. There's no need to set these public deadlines, as far as I can tell (he doesn't run ads on the site, right? Is there another way to make money off of the hits from people constantly checking for updates?)
It doesn't seem like the main site is the grade A #1 priority anymore, though; Onstad is always talking about how other projects are interferring with a strip getting up, etc. It might still be the priority, but not so much that other projects don't get in the way (and I'm not talking about family/moving; that stuff "getting in the way" is beyond criticism). Again, I don't care about that, though...he can work on other projects; I'm not about to tell the guy how to voice his creative process. I might love it or I might hate it when it comes out, but he's gonna do what he's gonna do.
I've cut the guy slack, I keep cutting him slack, but, personally, as a guy who has taken advantage of a lot of slack given to him, I know when slack is being abused. Posting this strip felt like one of those times to me. If he kept posting stuff on the main site originally advertised as "subscriber-only" only 2 weeks after it's appearance on the premium site, yeah, I would've been pissed. $3 is a pittance, and I like giving Onstad monetary support (I've also bought shirts, books, etc.), but there's a time when you start to feel like your getting duped.
I understand the move, the hassle, the other projects, etc. I don't want to lambast the guy. He probably should've taken a month off from producing regular strips, but I'm sure he feels that he has to get something new up on this site every once in a while to draw people back, and hopefully, to the shop. Let's be practical here.
I'll state again, my problem with him not meeting his deadlines is not that I demand more Achewood, it's just that he's setting these deadlines in the first place, publicly, and hasn't been meeting them for months now, almost as a rule. Get the strip up whenever, I don't really care, but I've defintely noticed more and more people getting annoyed by the missed deadlines on assetbar, and I've also noticed less hostility to those that do (people used to get lamed to hell for complaining about that). It's kind of pathetic to see anybody set so many deadlines and almost never make them; it makes you frustrated for them. There's no need to set these public deadlines, as far as I can tell (he doesn't run ads on the site, right? Is there another way to make money off of the hits from people constantly checking for updates?)
It doesn't seem like the main site is the grade A #1 priority anymore, though; Onstad is always talking about how other projects are interferring with a strip getting up, etc. It might still be the priority, but not so much that other projects don't get in the way (and I'm not talking about family/moving; that stuff "getting in the way" is beyond criticism). Again, I don't care about that, though...he can work on other projects; I'm not about to tell the guy how to voice his creative process. I might love it or I might hate it when it comes out, but he's gonna do what he's gonna do.
I've cut the guy slack, I keep cutting him slack, but, personally, as a guy who has taken advantage of a lot of slack given to him, I know when slack is being abused. Posting this strip felt like one of those times to me. If he kept posting stuff on the main site originally advertised as "subscriber-only" only 2 weeks after it's appearance on the premium site, yeah, I would've been pissed. $3 is a pittance, and I like giving Onstad monetary support (I've also bought shirts, books, etc.), but there's a time when you start to feel like your getting duped.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think, honestly, that Chris should do away with the subscription and work off donations. This is not out of some greediness on my part to get something free (something we've been getting for a while free) but because I think that ultimately it might work out better. I'm more willing to donate a dollar or so towards the cause than have to give 3 dollars for updates that ultimately I probably won't read or care about after a while.
I also would rather that Chris just focus on whatever major projects he is working on and put Achewood on hiatus. I honestly think that this is a better course of action than pissing off half of the viewer base weekly.
FINALLY I think that Chris should be a part of Project Wonderful/the Truth and Beauty Bomb community, although that is more wishful thinking than anything and would probably be akin to God going to church.
I think, honestly, that Chris should do away with the subscription and work off donations. This is not out of some greediness on my part to get something free (something we've been getting for a while free) but because I think that ultimately it might work out better. I'm more willing to donate a dollar or so towards the cause than have to give 3 dollars for updates that ultimately I probably won't read or care about after a while.
I also would rather that Chris just focus on whatever major projects he is working on and put Achewood on hiatus. I honestly think that this is a better course of action than pissing off half of the viewer base weekly.
FINALLY I think that Chris should be a part of Project Wonderful/the Truth and Beauty Bomb community, although that is more wishful thinking than anything and would probably be akin to God going to church.
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm not reading any more posts dealing with this subject, but how's it going? Who's winning?
I'm not reading any more posts dealing with this subject, but how's it going? Who's winning?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Yeah, I know, it's a lot easier and cool to stay above the fray, I get it, thanks. It's all a bunch of bitching and moaning that'll never do any good. but, hey! guess what. I've never gotten involved in any of those 8 foot long threads about rape or whatever, so I got that going for me.
I actually didn't read much on this page in general, let alone each post on these new strips the last few weeks (getting out of the habit during the hiatus actually having work to do was great). Was there a lot of real friction between people on this? I thought we had a pretty reasonable interaction going on in this instance.
Yeah, I know, it's a lot easier and cool to stay above the fray, I get it, thanks. It's all a bunch of bitching and moaning that'll never do any good. but, hey! guess what. I've never gotten involved in any of those 8 foot long threads about rape or whatever, so I got that going for me.
I actually didn't read much on this page in general, let alone each post on these new strips the last few weeks (getting out of the habit during the hiatus actually having work to do was great). Was there a lot of real friction between people on this? I thought we had a pretty reasonable interaction going on in this instance.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
oh MAN i used a plus sign I really am out of the habit. (it should be between the words "hiatus" and "actually")
oh MAN i used a plus sign I really am out of the habit. (it should be between the words "hiatus" and "actually")
rowboat
+0 -0
It has been done to death. That's all. I was in the fray for a minute or two, myself. I served my tour and I can tell you that the war is unwinnable.
Not to mention boring as fuck.
It has been done to death. That's all. I was in the fray for a minute or two, myself. I served my tour and I can tell you that the war is unwinnable.
Not to mention boring as fuck.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
man, look at all those weak ass grammatical errors.
man, look at all those weak ass grammatical errors.
belgand
+0 -0
Agreed. It's mainly that he keeps making promises and then failing to live up to them. I wouldn't mind if he didn't make an unnecessary promise in the first place.
It just looks sloppy and unprofessional. I can't think of a time when he's actually made one in months.
Agreed. It's mainly that he keeps making promises and then failing to live up to them. I wouldn't mind if he didn't make an unnecessary promise in the first place.
It just looks sloppy and unprofessional. I can't think of a time when he's actually made one in months.
tetrisattack
+0 -0
This is my new favorite strip.
This is my new favorite strip.
niggar
+0 -0
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, caboom, Prine, HNimrod)
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Belgand, caboom, Prine, HNimrod)
rowan
+0 -0
Kids love 5$ but 6$ is a cute amount of money
Kids love 5$ but 6$ is a cute amount of money
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Phillipe will probably never get the chance to cash that check because he is five.
Phillipe will probably never get the chance to cash that check because he is five.
tekende
+0 -0
Ray could take him to the bank and cash it for him.
Ray could take him to the bank and cash it for him.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ray's attention span prevents it, much to his heart's ire.
Ray's attention span prevents it, much to his heart's ire.
tekende
+0 -0
Probably so. Oh well!
Probably so. Oh well!
belgand
+0 -0
Don't most kids have a savings account where they can cash checks? That's how I did it as a child.
Don't most kids have a savings account where they can cash checks? That's how I did it as a child.
tekende
+0 -0
Some do, but I'd be surprised if Philippe did.
Some do, but I'd be surprised if Philippe did.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Also that.
Also that.
nice-on-water
+3 -0
Phillipe is five and an otter and lives with a stuffed bear and stuffed tiger and another stuffed bear and his mother uses Jack Chick tracts to educate him. His primary guardians either: watch documentaries about Russian space travel without pants on; are too depressed to enter a supermarket; or write checks for $6. I bet he doesn't have a savings account.
Phillipe is five and an otter and lives with a stuffed bear and stuffed tiger and another stuffed bear and his mother uses Jack Chick tracts to educate him. His primary guardians either: watch documentaries about Russian space travel without pants on; are too depressed to enter a supermarket; or write checks for $6. I bet he doesn't have a savings account.
belgand
+0 -0
So we get an adventure where Phillipe has to go to the check cashing place? Now that could be fun.
So we get an adventure where Phillipe has to go to the check cashing place? Now that could be fun.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Hmmm...
Yes. High five.
Hmmm...
Yes. High five.
stereo
+0 -0
For how anal you are, you'd think you would know that there's only one L and three Ps in Philippe.
Let this be a warning. Next time I see it, I'll hit the lame button and probably nothing will happen.
For how anal you are, you'd think you would know that there's only one L and three Ps in Philippe.
Let this be a warning. Next time I see it, I'll hit the lame button and probably nothing will happen.
belgand
+0 -0
I often misspell it. It is my trademark. It is a custom and you must respect that.
I often misspell it. It is my trademark. It is a custom and you must respect that.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What are we without our traditions?
What are we without our traditions?
smilebuddha
+1 -0
They're traditional. Tradition!
[IMGS OFF]
They're traditional. Tradition!
[IMGS OFF]
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
Ya-ba-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dum
Ya-ba-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dum
belgand
+1 -0
Tradition is a tradition.
I have a lot of antipathy for tradition. It is a very poor reason to justify things.
Tradition is a tradition.
I have a lot of antipathy for tradition. It is a very poor reason to justify things.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Custom = tradition big guy.
Custom = tradition big guy.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Ergo, stop being Mr. Serious Pants all up in here.
Ergo, stop being Mr. Serious Pants all up in here.
sje46
+0 -0
That is true, but custom is a poor reason to justify things as well.
Like my friend told me that we should keep "In God We Trust" on American currency and "under God" in the pledge. His only reasoning was "tradition".
How incredibly insipid. Tradition can not morally justify anything. We should really let the government violate the first amendment because our forefathers let them too? Really?
Belgand has a point. Chubs.
That is true, but custom is a poor reason to justify things as well.
Like my friend told me that we should keep "In God We Trust" on American currency and "under God" in the pledge. His only reasoning was "tradition".
How incredibly insipid. Tradition can not morally justify anything. We should really let the government violate the first amendment because our forefathers let them too? Really?
Belgand has a point. Chubs.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I really REALLY don't want to start a debate here so I'll just post a picture.
[IMGS OFF]
I really REALLY don't want to start a debate here so I'll just post a picture.
[IMGS OFF]
stereo
+0 -0
I wouldn't really consider the people who put that stuff on the money "forefathers". They were more kinda "middlefathers".
I wouldn't really consider the people who put that stuff on the money "forefathers". They were more kinda "middlefathers".
belgand
+0 -0
Well, as we all know "under God" was added in the 50s to spite those "godless Commies". Not much tradition there. Well, that is, unless we count bigotry and jingoism which has a fine and long-standing tradition.
I'm still amazed that the pledge issue wasn't fixed via the courts. Of course, I have a strong issue with forcing or even encouraging children to blindly recite a loyalty oath daily. I find it deeply frightening and refused to do so starting at a rather young age.
You just pushed one of my hot-button issues. Let's not go any further with this. This will become a problem. It also won't be the first time you've started one of these.
Well, as we all know "under God" was added in the 50s to spite those "godless Commies". Not much tradition there. Well, that is, unless we count bigotry and jingoism which has a fine and long-standing tradition.
I'm still amazed that the pledge issue wasn't fixed via the courts. Of course, I have a strong issue with forcing or even encouraging children to blindly recite a loyalty oath daily. I find it deeply frightening and refused to do so starting at a rather young age.
You just pushed one of my hot-button issues. Let's not go any further with this. This will become a problem. It also won't be the first time you've started one of these.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
It wasn't enough that America had 10 times the nuclear arsenal the Soviets did. They had to drag God in, just to make damn sure here, and forever after.
Does that read like Vonnegut, or am I just babbling?
It wasn't enough that America had 10 times the nuclear arsenal the Soviets did. They had to drag God in, just to make damn sure here, and forever after.
Does that read like Vonnegut, or am I just babbling?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
If that read like Vonnegut, I'd have told you, believe you me.
If that read like Vonnegut, I'd have told you, believe you me.
sje46
+0 -0
True, true true. I'm not quite passionate with this issue, just annoyed about the reasoning, is all.
True, true true. I'm not quite passionate with this issue, just annoyed about the reasoning, is all.
goosey
+0 -0
Circus Penis gave Philippe seven dollars. Is this a rarely seen occurrence of Ray being cheap?
Circus Penis gave Philippe seven dollars. Is this a rarely seen occurrence of Ray being cheap?
thedrizzle
+0 -0
It's not cheap. It's cute. Philippe was cute and earned a cute amount of money for it. Goodness knows 7 is not a cute number.
It's not cheap. It's cute. Philippe was cute and earned a cute amount of money for it. Goodness knows 7 is not a cute number.
sje46
+0 -0
7 is pretty rad, however. I think it's the favorite digit of the world.
I wonder if they did a study?
7 is pretty rad, however. I think it's the favorite digit of the world.
I wonder if they did a study?
rowboat
+0 -0
God is 7.
God is 7.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Then the Devil is 6.
Then the Devil is 6.
sje46
+0 -0
Then who did God eat? Who is nine?
Then who did God eat? Who is nine?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
YOU ARE.
YOU ARE.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM.
rowboat
+0 -0
Elephino!
Elephino!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
my favorite number is zero.
did i just blow your mind??
my favorite number is zero.
did i just blow your mind??
mattylite
+3 -0
God damnit cpnglxynchos, you know I got no concept of zero YOU KNOW I GOT NO CONCEPT OF ZERO !
God damnit cpnglxynchos, you know I got no concept of zero YOU KNOW I GOT NO CONCEPT OF ZERO !
sje46
+0 -0
I ain't gonna use no sand-negro digit!
I was born in MCMLXXIX and I'm proud of being an American, son.
I ain't gonna use no sand-negro digit!
I was born in MCMLXXIX and I'm proud of being an American, son.
falseprophet
+0 -0
A real American does not use sand-negro numerals.
Instead, he uses the same ones the Romans used to count how many little boys they sodomized.
A real American does not use sand-negro numerals.
Instead, he uses the same ones the Romans used to count how many little boys they sodomized.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
ONE! TWO! THREE! THREE SODOMIZED LITTLE BOYS! AH AH AH AH AH!
ONE! TWO! THREE! THREE SODOMIZED LITTLE BOYS! AH AH AH AH AH!
stereo
+0 -0
I! II! III! IIII SODOMIZED LITTLE BOYS!
YES I DID
I! II! III! IIII SODOMIZED LITTLE BOYS!
YES I DID
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
zero and infinity. Same difference. Love 'em!
zero and infinity. Same difference. Love 'em!
fancypants
+0 -0
i hate this premium content... it's like this is some sleazy porn site. what a cocktease
i hate this premium content... it's like this is some sleazy porn site. what a cocktease
rumblefish
+5 -0
I hear buying a premium membership removes Ray's thong in every strip.
I hear buying a premium membership removes Ray's thong in every strip.
caboom
+0 -0
Only in dreams, my friends. We all know the Achewood's readers could use a little more cat cock in their lives.
Only in dreams, my friends. We all know the Achewood's readers could use a little more cat cock in their lives.
catgrl131
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
YOU'RE WELCOME
[IMGS OFF]
YOU'RE WELCOME
catgrl131
+0 -0
A comment left by catgrl131 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by doinkydoink, riotdejaneiro, speccer, nice-on-water, rowboat, snidedk, miaou)
A comment left by catgrl131 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by doinkydoink, riotdejaneiro, speccer, nice-on-water, rowboat, snidedk, miaou)
rowboat
+0 -0
You're on thin ice, little one.
You're on thin ice, little one.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Hey, they asked for it.
Hey, they asked for it.
rowboat
+0 -0
What a terrible policy to adhere to.
What a terrible policy to adhere to.
tekende
+0 -0
And what if they asked you to jump off a cliff, young lady? I suppose you'd do that too?
And what if they asked you to jump off a cliff, young lady? I suppose you'd do that too?
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That depends on the Cliff.
Ha-cha-cha-cha!
That depends on the Cliff.
Ha-cha-cha-cha!
belgand
+0 -0
We really need Larry King around to give us our "Ha-cha-cha-cha!"s.
I miss his warm visage of impeding doom.
We really need Larry King around to give us our "Ha-cha-cha-cha!"s.
I miss his warm visage of impeding doom.
catgrl131
+0 -0
That all depends on whether they asked 'please', now, doesn't it?
That all depends on whether they asked 'please', now, doesn't it?
woodenteeth
+0 -0
'Please?'
'Please?'
catgrl131
+0 -0
Oh, you gentleman, you. Just lemme get my jumpin' cape.
Oh, you gentleman, you. Just lemme get my jumpin' cape.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
WHAT.
WHAT.
belgand
+0 -0
I call rip-off. I posted that far too recently to reference so soon again.
I call rip-off. I posted that far too recently to reference so soon again.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Friend, I have no problem with sharing the credit with you.
Friend, I have no problem with sharing the credit with you.
belgand
+0 -0
So... did you actually go look that up on your own or just take the one I posted and re-use it? I'm just curious. I need to know how far this goes.
So... did you actually go look that up on your own or just take the one I posted and re-use it? I'm just curious. I need to know how far this goes.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Re-used yours. I wouldn't have thought of searching up such a thing if I didn't already know it existed.
Re-used yours. I wouldn't have thought of searching up such a thing if I didn't already know it existed.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
hey guys i'm bout to draw some achewood erotica
do you think i'll get lamed if i post it?
hey guys i'm bout to draw some achewood erotica
do you think i'll get lamed if i post it?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Is it sexxy tho
Is it sexxy tho
autrepoupee
+4 -0
psht man u kno myy steez
[IMGS OFF]
psht man u kno myy steez
[IMGS OFF]
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I don't remember there being a centaur in Achewood.
I don't remember there being a centaur in Achewood.
autrepoupee
+2 -0
Clearly, you haven't been following my Alternate Universe Achewood fanfiction. Gimli and myself are in it.
Oh yes, that's right...it is only available to ultra premium members . You sort certainly wouldn't be privy. Consider this a gift, from the Boss.
Clearly, you haven't been following my Alternate Universe Achewood fanfiction. Gimli and myself are in it.
Oh yes, that's right...it is only available to ultra premium members . You sort certainly wouldn't be privy. Consider this a gift, from the Boss.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
How much?
How much?
sje46
+0 -0
Hott.
With two Ts
Also, she's bottomless.
Bottomless FTW.
Hott.
With two Ts
Also, she's bottomless.
Bottomless FTW.
stereo
+0 -0
Dang, those titties are ruuuude.
Dang, those titties are ruuuude.
catgrl131
+9 -0
I can't help but feel something's...missing...
[IMGS OFF]
Oh yeah, baby, there we go.
I can't help but feel something's...missing...
[IMGS OFF]
Oh yeah, baby, there we go.
sje46
+0 -0
Chubs.
Hi-larious.
Chubs.
Hi-larious.
belgand
+0 -0
Not the same without the thigh-highs.
Or the crying.
Oh shit, now I'm thinking about how you would design and draw a garter belt for a horse. I did not ever want to go to that place. Fuck you Internet!
Not the same without the thigh-highs.
Or the crying.
Oh shit, now I'm thinking about how you would design and draw a garter belt for a horse. I did not ever want to go to that place. Fuck you Internet!
odei
+0 -0
I leave for a few months and this is what happens?
I leave for a few months and this is what happens?
rowboat
+0 -0
I'm don't know what it means to say this, but that is definitely the hottest MS Paint job ever.
I'm don't know what it means to say this, but that is definitely the hottest MS Paint job ever.
belgand
+0 -0
We'd prefer Assetbar erotica.
We'd prefer Assetbar erotica.
rowboat
+4 -0
As he felt the bed against the back of his knees, something in the back of Belgand's mind flipped. His hands stopped shaking as he tugged his shirt over his head, breaking the kiss just long enough to admire him. The man was a drug. He wanted more.
Belgand reached to pull him back but he turned the tables. His hands steered him to sit on the bed then slipped his own top off. A surge of sexual confidence filled him while Belgand stared. Every other time Belgand had had sex he'd let the man lead, not wanting to make a wrong move. This time it would be different - he could feel it.
He unwrapped his skirt and let it fall, rewarded with the sight of his erection growing under his jeans. Standing in his underwear and pumps, Belgand didn't let his hands stop for fear that he might feel self-conscious. Instead he unhooked his bra. He felt sexy and safe with Belgand - it was an intoxicating first.
Belgand reached for himself again. He stepped back and out of his pumps as he let the lacey underwire bra fall. Not one to give up control, he slipped a finger between his lavender French-cut underwear and his hip and tugged until the panties joined the rest of his clothes on the floor.
Unable to wait anymore, he ran his hand up his arm while straddling himself. Belgand let his hands mold over Belgand's chest. "You must work out."
"You want to discuss that now?" He cracked a subtle smile.
"You%u2019ll need the stamina." He licked his lips.
Belgand reached for himself again. Belgand knew he'd have to concentrate to keep his sanity. His hands were gentle but not tentative. They cupped his breasts, teasing his nipples until he arched his back for more. There was no doubt what he wanted. Belgand slipped his hand lower and opened Belgand's jeans.
He wasn't about to rush or act as eager as he felt. Instead he slowly ran one long mauve-painted nail up his hard cock. The idea that he'd aroused himself so fully made him want himself more.
Belgand leaned back on his hands with a groan. "You're a tease."
Belgand smiled with growing confidence. He could do anything. Have anything with him. He'd doubted his plan? At the moment, he had no idea why. Belgand would enjoy it as much as Belgand would.
"Do I pass inspection?" His voice was raspy but made Belgand shiver.
"Definitely worth further study." From Belgand's somewhat limited hands-on research, he could tell Belgand's penis was roughly average length. Maybe a bit better. It was the thickness that had him getting wetter by the second.
He shifted off himself and knelt down for a closer look. Softly he tongued the head as he muttered something that sounded encouraging. The taste of him clouded his mind even more. He kissed his way up his chest letting his sensitive pussy press against his shaft. His body was just too good.
As he felt the bed against the back of his knees, something in the back of Belgand's mind flipped. His hands stopped shaking as he tugged his shirt over his head, breaking the kiss just long enough to admire him. The man was a drug. He wanted more.
Belgand reached to pull him back but he turned the tables. His hands steered him to sit on the bed then slipped his own top off. A surge of sexual confidence filled him while Belgand stared. Every other time Belgand had had sex he'd let the man lead, not wanting to make a wrong move. This time it would be different - he could feel it.
He unwrapped his skirt and let it fall, rewarded with the sight of his erection growing under his jeans. Standing in his underwear and pumps, Belgand didn't let his hands stop for fear that he might feel self-conscious. Instead he unhooked his bra. He felt sexy and safe with Belgand - it was an intoxicating first.
Belgand reached for himself again. He stepped back and out of his pumps as he let the lacey underwire bra fall. Not one to give up control, he slipped a finger between his lavender French-cut underwear and his hip and tugged until the panties joined the rest of his clothes on the floor.
Unable to wait anymore, he ran his hand up his arm while straddling himself. Belgand let his hands mold over Belgand's chest. "You must work out."
"You want to discuss that now?" He cracked a subtle smile.
"You%u2019ll need the stamina." He licked his lips.
Belgand reached for himself again. Belgand knew he'd have to concentrate to keep his sanity. His hands were gentle but not tentative. They cupped his breasts, teasing his nipples until he arched his back for more. There was no doubt what he wanted. Belgand slipped his hand lower and opened Belgand's jeans.
He wasn't about to rush or act as eager as he felt. Instead he slowly ran one long mauve-painted nail up his hard cock. The idea that he'd aroused himself so fully made him want himself more.
Belgand leaned back on his hands with a groan. "You're a tease."
Belgand smiled with growing confidence. He could do anything. Have anything with him. He'd doubted his plan? At the moment, he had no idea why. Belgand would enjoy it as much as Belgand would.
"Do I pass inspection?" His voice was raspy but made Belgand shiver.
"Definitely worth further study." From Belgand's somewhat limited hands-on research, he could tell Belgand's penis was roughly average length. Maybe a bit better. It was the thickness that had him getting wetter by the second.
He shifted off himself and knelt down for a closer look. Softly he tongued the head as he muttered something that sounded encouraging. The taste of him clouded his mind even more. He kissed his way up his chest letting his sensitive pussy press against his shaft. His body was just too good.
stereo
+1 -0
What's belgand's cat doing in the room is what I want to know.
What's belgand's cat doing in the room is what I want to know.
rowboat
+0 -0
And how did it get so wet?
And how did it get so wet?
belgand
+0 -0
My pussy cat was sittin on the front step
Sat so long poor pussy got wet
Wet pussy...ohhhhh
Like most things in life the answers lie in the lyrics to bawdy burlesque songs.
My pussy cat was sittin on the front step
Sat so long poor pussy got wet
Wet pussy...ohhhhh
Like most things in life the answers lie in the lyrics to bawdy burlesque songs.
tekende
+1 -0
Don't stop, or we'll get maaaaad...
Don't stop, or we'll get maaaaad...
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
MANFLESH HAS RETURNED!?
MANFLESH HAS RETURNED!?
belgand
+0 -0
The fact that I'm both participants is kind of messing with me a little bit actually. Is one at least an alternate universe version of me? All "Mirror, Mirror" and such?
The fact that I'm both participants is kind of messing with me a little bit actually. Is one at least an alternate universe version of me? All "Mirror, Mirror" and such?
rowboat
+0 -0
I don't know where he's from, but I know he's the one who loves you.
I don't know where he's from, but I know he's the one who loves you.
belgand
+0 -0
The thing I disagree with most is the choice of underwear for my female variant. Also, I suspect I would be far more sexually aggressive as a woman. Not just during sex, but in my daily life.
The thing I disagree with most is the choice of underwear for my female variant. Also, I suspect I would be far more sexually aggressive as a woman. Not just during sex, but in my daily life.
falseprophet
+0 -0
You'd be damn near unstoppable.
Dudes would go home to their wives all "Sorry honey. There was a vagina comin at me at 88 miles per hour. There was nothin I could do."
You'd be damn near unstoppable.
Dudes would go home to their wives all "Sorry honey. There was a vagina comin at me at 88 miles per hour. There was nothin I could do."
belgand
+0 -0
Are you calling me a gigawatt*?
*Mispronunciation is essential here people.
Are you calling me a gigawatt*?
*Mispronunciation is essential here people.
missbee
+1 -0
Well, here goes any respect I have on Assetbar:
Well, here goes any respect I have on Assetbar:
missbee
+3 -0
It is a little known fact that Belgand cannot get a date to save his life
This is through no fault of his own, of course. It is certainly not his lack of charisma or personality, for he is well liked among his peers and wildly popular; nor is he not suitably attractive, because he is, on one of his good days, ridiculously so. When he enters a room, teenage girls swallow their tongues and teenage boys go green with envy and, in a few unsurprising cases, vice versa.
The trouble begins when Belgand approaches one of these voiceless girls (and on one occasion, he is not too proud to admit, one of the voiceless boys) they remain voiceless. It's very difficult to carry on a conversation with a person who has simultaneously lost their nerve and ability to form coherent speech, and while Belgand is many things, he is not the type to spend a significant amount of time with someone who cannot, at the very least, laugh at his jokes.
So through no fault of his own is Belgand dateless, friendless and endlessly frustrated. He is loathe to admit it, but he wouldn't know what to do with a girl (or boy, for that matter (well, this is not entirely true. He has a vague idea, being of the male persuasion himself)) even if he could get one to talk to him. He routinely inspects himself critically in a mirror and likes what he sees: You, my friend, he thinks smugly at the mirror, preening his hair and oozing the exact sort of confidence he is famous (and infamous) for, are one good-looking kid. Who wouldn't want a piece of this?
It is at this precise moment that Belgand gets the worst or possibly best idea of his young life.
The idea comes slowly, in stages, because he cannot believe he has thought what he thinks he just thought, and the really amazing thing is that he can see it happening, in his own eyes, in the mirror, and it makes the worst or possibly best idea of his young life just that much more real, because just as he is thinking "I am brilliant," another part of him is thinking "Oh, man, brilliance is hot." He is suddenly so taken with his own cleverness that the worst or probably best idea of his young life seems more feasible with every passing second. He gives himself one last, fierce stare in the mirror, ignoring the little part of him that insists the definitely best idea of his young life might actually be bad, but since Belgand has an incredible amount of experience ignoring that little part of himself, it is no surprise that he can turn away from the mirror and march to the garage with the very confidence he is so famous (and infamous) for.
By the time he has locked himself securely in the garage, the idea has become a plan. An utterly foolproof, brilliant plan that requires no actual effort on Belgand's part. At least not yet. At precisely 2 p.m. in the afternoon, Belgand stands before the time machine %u2013 the blue one, with the nice back seat %u2013 and makes a decision that will effortlessly put the unarguably best plan of his young life into action.
"At five o' clock," he says aloud to no one, enjoying the smooth sound of his own voice, "I will take the time machine back to two o'clock."
And it's as easy as that, because before the words have left his tongue, there is flash of light and the familiar sound of soap bubbles popping and an extra time machine in the garage, and Belgand is staring quite dumbly up at himself, behind the controls. The Belgand in the time machine is looking very sly and proud of himself.
"It worked," he announces, reclining to sling one slim arm over the back of his seat and prop his feet up on the dashboard. Belgand-on-the-ground can't help but notice he looks very cocky like this, and he is very slightly irritated, but not so much so that he can't also admit he is one smooth operator. Belgand-in-the-time-machine is still giving him a sort of half-lidded leer and a quirky smirk. "We've only got a few hours," he says, checking the little clock in the dash. "Are we gonna do this or not? That's a rhetorical question, actually. I'm from the future." He thumbs his chest and grins a truly dashing grin. "I already know the answer."
So Belgand hefts himself easily into the time machine and sits beside himself. "Backseat," his future self instructs as he closes the hood and initiates the cloaking devices. Belgand obliges and climbs gracelessly into the backseat, absently wondering why his father felt the need to build a full size time machine if they had never once taken it on a family vacation and oh man, if he only knew how it were being used now, they never will. It makes his cheeks flush pink, thinking about it.
"You're cute when you blush," his future self teases as he slides into the backseat beside him.
"This is so messed up," Belgand blurts, feeling that little part of himself he is so used to ignoring reasserting itself. "There is probably something very wrong with me for even thinking about doing this." He is blushing even harder.
"Everybody does it," Future Belgand says silkily as he scoots a little closer, casually draping an arm over Present Belgand's shoulders. "Most kids just aren't lucky enough to have the means to do it so well." His fingers slide down Belgand's upper arm and back up again, slipping under his sleeve. It's a simple motion, hardly indecent at all, but it feels strangely intimate and erotic and Belgand can't figure out why, because it's just his arm, and his hand to boot, right? He touches his own arm experimentally, but it doesn't illicit quite the same feeling as when the other Belgand does it.
Just as he is about to experiment further, he feels a sudden warmth on the side of his face because Future Belgand has taken advantage of this moment of analytical distraction to lean over and press his lips gently against the curiously sensitive place just below his ear and Present Belgand's brain responds by reeling and splintering, and he suddenly very seriously does not care about the psychological mechanics of auto-erotica as much as he cares about feeling this way as long and as powerfully as humanly possible. He turns to his future self with wide, astonished brown eyes and a slack jaw and manages maybe two shaky breaths before the two of them are a clumsy tangle of one hungry boy on the back seat of his father's time machine.
It is a little known fact that Belgand cannot get a date to save his life
This is through no fault of his own, of course. It is certainly not his lack of charisma or personality, for he is well liked among his peers and wildly popular; nor is he not suitably attractive, because he is, on one of his good days, ridiculously so. When he enters a room, teenage girls swallow their tongues and teenage boys go green with envy and, in a few unsurprising cases, vice versa.
The trouble begins when Belgand approaches one of these voiceless girls (and on one occasion, he is not too proud to admit, one of the voiceless boys) they remain voiceless. It's very difficult to carry on a conversation with a person who has simultaneously lost their nerve and ability to form coherent speech, and while Belgand is many things, he is not the type to spend a significant amount of time with someone who cannot, at the very least, laugh at his jokes.
So through no fault of his own is Belgand dateless, friendless and endlessly frustrated. He is loathe to admit it, but he wouldn't know what to do with a girl (or boy, for that matter (well, this is not entirely true. He has a vague idea, being of the male persuasion himself)) even if he could get one to talk to him. He routinely inspects himself critically in a mirror and likes what he sees: You, my friend, he thinks smugly at the mirror, preening his hair and oozing the exact sort of confidence he is famous (and infamous) for, are one good-looking kid. Who wouldn't want a piece of this?
It is at this precise moment that Belgand gets the worst or possibly best idea of his young life.
The idea comes slowly, in stages, because he cannot believe he has thought what he thinks he just thought, and the really amazing thing is that he can see it happening, in his own eyes, in the mirror, and it makes the worst or possibly best idea of his young life just that much more real, because just as he is thinking "I am brilliant," another part of him is thinking "Oh, man, brilliance is hot." He is suddenly so taken with his own cleverness that the worst or probably best idea of his young life seems more feasible with every passing second. He gives himself one last, fierce stare in the mirror, ignoring the little part of him that insists the definitely best idea of his young life might actually be bad, but since Belgand has an incredible amount of experience ignoring that little part of himself, it is no surprise that he can turn away from the mirror and march to the garage with the very confidence he is so famous (and infamous) for.
By the time he has locked himself securely in the garage, the idea has become a plan. An utterly foolproof, brilliant plan that requires no actual effort on Belgand's part. At least not yet. At precisely 2 p.m. in the afternoon, Belgand stands before the time machine %u2013 the blue one, with the nice back seat %u2013 and makes a decision that will effortlessly put the unarguably best plan of his young life into action.
"At five o' clock," he says aloud to no one, enjoying the smooth sound of his own voice, "I will take the time machine back to two o'clock."
And it's as easy as that, because before the words have left his tongue, there is flash of light and the familiar sound of soap bubbles popping and an extra time machine in the garage, and Belgand is staring quite dumbly up at himself, behind the controls. The Belgand in the time machine is looking very sly and proud of himself.
"It worked," he announces, reclining to sling one slim arm over the back of his seat and prop his feet up on the dashboard. Belgand-on-the-ground can't help but notice he looks very cocky like this, and he is very slightly irritated, but not so much so that he can't also admit he is one smooth operator. Belgand-in-the-time-machine is still giving him a sort of half-lidded leer and a quirky smirk. "We've only got a few hours," he says, checking the little clock in the dash. "Are we gonna do this or not? That's a rhetorical question, actually. I'm from the future." He thumbs his chest and grins a truly dashing grin. "I already know the answer."
So Belgand hefts himself easily into the time machine and sits beside himself. "Backseat," his future self instructs as he closes the hood and initiates the cloaking devices. Belgand obliges and climbs gracelessly into the backseat, absently wondering why his father felt the need to build a full size time machine if they had never once taken it on a family vacation and oh man, if he only knew how it were being used now, they never will. It makes his cheeks flush pink, thinking about it.
"You're cute when you blush," his future self teases as he slides into the backseat beside him.
"This is so messed up," Belgand blurts, feeling that little part of himself he is so used to ignoring reasserting itself. "There is probably something very wrong with me for even thinking about doing this." He is blushing even harder.
"Everybody does it," Future Belgand says silkily as he scoots a little closer, casually draping an arm over Present Belgand's shoulders. "Most kids just aren't lucky enough to have the means to do it so well." His fingers slide down Belgand's upper arm and back up again, slipping under his sleeve. It's a simple motion, hardly indecent at all, but it feels strangely intimate and erotic and Belgand can't figure out why, because it's just his arm, and his hand to boot, right? He touches his own arm experimentally, but it doesn't illicit quite the same feeling as when the other Belgand does it.
Just as he is about to experiment further, he feels a sudden warmth on the side of his face because Future Belgand has taken advantage of this moment of analytical distraction to lean over and press his lips gently against the curiously sensitive place just below his ear and Present Belgand's brain responds by reeling and splintering, and he suddenly very seriously does not care about the psychological mechanics of auto-erotica as much as he cares about feeling this way as long and as powerfully as humanly possible. He turns to his future self with wide, astonished brown eyes and a slack jaw and manages maybe two shaky breaths before the two of them are a clumsy tangle of one hungry boy on the back seat of his father's time machine.
belgand
+0 -0
So this is the new meme? Assetbar erotica where I'm having sex with myself? Fine by me. Let's just hope that these are not, as I sadly suspect, just plain-old run-of-the-mill erotica with a global find-and-replace run on them.
So this is the new meme? Assetbar erotica where I'm having sex with myself? Fine by me. Let's just hope that these are not, as I sadly suspect, just plain-old run-of-the-mill erotica with a global find-and-replace run on them.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Give the writers of Assetbar more (less?) credit.
Give the writers of Assetbar more (less?) credit.
missbee
+0 -0
This is completely a meme.
This is completely a meme.
belgand
+0 -0
I was hoping it would be about other denizens of the 'bar, but if it must be me fucking myself in increasingly improbable scenarios then so be it. It has my blessing. Give me the best you've got Assetbar. Or, at least, allow me to give it to myself.
I was hoping it would be about other denizens of the 'bar, but if it must be me fucking myself in increasingly improbable scenarios then so be it. It has my blessing. Give me the best you've got Assetbar. Or, at least, allow me to give it to myself.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Belgand :AW YEAH BABY I'M GONNA GET MAH JERK ON UP INS THIS PLACE! *fapfapfapfap*
Belgand's mom : WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
Belgand : MOM I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK.
Belgand :AW YEAH BABY I'M GONNA GET MAH JERK ON UP INS THIS PLACE! *fapfapfapfap*
Belgand's mom : WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!
Belgand : MOM I TOLD YOU TO KNOCK.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
( this is barely legal belgand erotica, by the way )
( this is barely legal belgand erotica, by the way )
walter
+0 -0
is it the $2.99 / month that lets you see extra Achewood strips? What is this PVP and Freezepop stuff? Freezepop sounds vaguely sexual.. I'm afraid to clict on it. Thanks.
is it the $2.99 / month that lets you see extra Achewood strips? What is this PVP and Freezepop stuff? Freezepop sounds vaguely sexual.. I'm afraid to clict on it. Thanks.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Yes, the $2.99/month lets you see extra Achewood strips. PVP is another webcomic, I think, and for a separate monthly payment you get to see its premium content.
Freezepop is a rock band, or something like that. It's what you'd get if you surreptitiously replaced a rock band's guitars and drums with Texas Instruments calculators. Not the ordinary, grade-school calculators, mind you; those would give you a generic top-40 sound. No, we're talking about high-end graphing calculators, full of logarithms and justice. For yet another $2.99 per month, you get to see (and quite possibly hear) premium content from the Frezepoppers.
Yes, the $2.99/month lets you see extra Achewood strips. PVP is another webcomic, I think, and for a separate monthly payment you get to see its premium content.
Freezepop is a rock band, or something like that. It's what you'd get if you surreptitiously replaced a rock band's guitars and drums with Texas Instruments calculators. Not the ordinary, grade-school calculators, mind you; those would give you a generic top-40 sound. No, we're talking about high-end graphing calculators, full of logarithms and justice. For yet another $2.99 per month, you get to see (and quite possibly hear) premium content from the Frezepoppers.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I like the idea of seeing a rock bands premium content.
I like the idea of seeing a rock bands premium content.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
NO LISTENING!
NO LISTENING!
sje46
+0 -0
Freezepop sings my theme song.
We all have one.
Freezepop sings my theme song.
We all have one.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
T.
DJ.
T.
D.
J.
T.
DJ.
T.
D.
J.
varnish
+0 -0
I have always found Lyle's Little Orphan Annie eyes to be just a bit frightening. Panel 5 does not help.
I have always found Lyle's Little Orphan Annie eyes to be just a bit frightening. Panel 5 does not help.
sje46
+0 -0
Chris Onstad is a goon.
Chris Onstad is a goon.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
his avatar looks just like my dad
...dad?
or that one actor?
his avatar looks just like my dad
...dad?
or that one actor?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
Orson Welles?
...Hollywood dad?
Orson Welles?
...Hollywood dad?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Yes to the concept of a Hollywood dad.
Yes to the concept of a Hollywood dad.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
No to the concept of Orson Welles looking over your shoulder as you do homework.
A six year old writes sentences for new vocabulary words.
"It's full of things that are only correct because they're grammatical but they're tough on the ear, you see...this is a very wearying one, it's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding."
No to the concept of Orson Welles looking over your shoulder as you do homework.
A six year old writes sentences for new vocabulary words.
"It's full of things that are only correct because they're grammatical but they're tough on the ear, you see...this is a very wearying one, it's unpleasant to read. Unrewarding."
octafish
+0 -0
Going over your presentation to class and saying... "That doesn't make any sense. Sorry. There's no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with "in" and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how you can say "in July" and I'll... go down on you. That's just idiotic, if you'll forgive me by saying so.".
Going over your presentation to class and saying... "That doesn't make any sense. Sorry. There's no known way of saying an English sentence in which you begin a sentence with "in" and emphasize it. Get me a jury and show me how you can say "in July" and I'll... go down on you. That's just idiotic, if you'll forgive me by saying so.".
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Taking over directing the school play from a teacher:
"I wouldn't direct any living actor like this in Shakespeare!"
So then he proceeds not to I guess.
Taking over directing the school play from a teacher:
"I wouldn't direct any living actor like this in Shakespeare!"
So then he proceeds not to I guess.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
i can think of nothing better than being taught how to ride a bike or build a treehouse by Orson welles.
I would genuinely pay money for someone to photoshop orson welles into my childhood.
i can think of nothing better than being taught how to ride a bike or build a treehouse by Orson welles.
I would genuinely pay money for someone to photoshop orson welles into my childhood.
fictions
+1 -0
Lyle's look in the 5th panel is hell of Mona Lisa
Lyle's look in the 5th panel is hell of Mona Lisa
stereo
+0 -0
Well, he was the original hot tranny mess.
Well, he was the original hot tranny mess.
stereo
+0 -0
Wait crap I tried to be clever and failed.
I was referring to the Mona Lisa, not Lyle.
Wait crap I tried to be clever and failed.
I was referring to the Mona Lisa, not Lyle.
sje46
+0 -0
Still "he". Right?
Also, Da Vinci Code was not a good book to learn art history from.
Still "he". Right?
Also, Da Vinci Code was not a good book to learn art history from.
wellingtonbear
+0 -0
i love the strip onstad, but it seems like we are in a low part of the roller coaster right now. gone are the days of ray buying heads and helicopters on ebay platinum. give us a new story
i love the strip onstad, but it seems like we are in a low part of the roller coaster right now. gone are the days of ray buying heads and helicopters on ebay platinum. give us a new story
genocidefish
+0 -0
Yeah, Onstad. You big hot tranny mess. Sort it out.
Yeah, Onstad. You big hot tranny mess. Sort it out.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
The low point of the roller coaster is the point of greatest momentum. The high point may have the most potential (energy), but it is not realized until you start to go down.
[/metaphor sufficiently beaten to death]
The low point of the roller coaster is the point of greatest momentum. The high point may have the most potential (energy), but it is not realized until you start to go down.
[/metaphor sufficiently beaten to death]
sje46
+0 -0
See, this is why we can't have analogies!
See, this is why we can't have analogies!
lowtrees
+0 -0
Like the cavemen.
Like the cavemen.
stereo
+0 -0
Dude, the cavemen were all about anal orgies.
Dude, the cavemen were all about anal orgies.
sje46
+0 -0
An analogy is like an anal orgy;
An analogy is like an anal orgy;
sje46
+0 -0
[this is a set-up. I am not clever enough to finish this.]
[this is a set-up. I am not clever enough to finish this.]
rowboat
+0 -0
When you cum around the house you really cum around the house!
When you cum around the house you really cum around the house!
rowboat
+0 -0
NO
NO
theguitarhero
+2 -0
MOM, ROWBOAT IS HAVING SPLIT PERSONALITIES!
MOM, ROWBOAT IS HAVING SPLIT PERSONALITIES!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ha.
DON'T YOU DARE HAVE SPLIT PERSONALITIES AT ME!!
ha.
DON'T YOU DARE HAVE SPLIT PERSONALITIES AT ME!!
belgand
+0 -0
Because that's exactly what I metaphor.
Because that's exactly what I metaphor.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
METAPHOR? I HARDLY KNOW HER.
METAPHOR? I HARDLY KNOW HER.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Two chubbies in two posts. Someone around here really likes capslock.
Two chubbies in two posts. Someone around here really likes capslock.
sje46
+0 -0
I heard Daniel's second account really likes capslock.
I heard Daniel's second account really likes capslock.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It's not a second account, I can't explain it!
It's not a second account, I can't explain it!
stereo
+0 -0
Caps Lock is one step away from slap cock, and that's how chubbies are made.
Caps Lock is one step away from slap cock, and that's how chubbies are made.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Is that the.... LYLE ORIGIN MYTH?
Is that the.... LYLE ORIGIN MYTH?
shogun
+0 -0
Huh. Is THAT where Lyle's mouth is? Not 100% clear we've ever seen that.
Huh. Is THAT where Lyle's mouth is? Not 100% clear we've ever seen that.
rowboat
+0 -0
This is the only other example that springs to mind. Very well may be his first smile, though.
This is the only other example that springs to mind. Very well may be his first smile, though.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Have you seen Lyle open his mouth?
Have you seen Lyle open his mouth?
belgand
+1 -0
Why do you think he has to play the trumpet with his cock?
Why do you think he has to play the trumpet with his cock?
jaldor
+0 -0
It's been months and Ray still hasn't noticed Little Nephew is dead
It's been months and Ray still hasn't noticed Little Nephew is dead
theguitarhero
+1 -0
He HAS noticed, he just has his own way of grieving!
He HAS noticed, he just has his own way of grieving!
iamadinosaur
+0 -0
This made my day so much better...
This made my day so much better...
missbee
+0 -0
How do you pronounce Téodor? I know his parents are from Belarus...but it doesn't help me as I don't speak Belarusian or Russian.
I used to imagine it as Tee-yo-door. But now I'm thinking it's probably more like Tay-o-dor.
But I don't know what I'm talking about.
How do you pronounce Téodor? I know his parents are from Belarus...but it doesn't help me as I don't speak Belarusian or Russian.
I used to imagine it as Tee-yo-door. But now I'm thinking it's probably more like Tay-o-dor.
But I don't know what I'm talking about.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
In Russia, Teodor is pronounced Tyeh-odor.
I have no idea how Teodor is pronounced in Russia.
Speak the first true thing that falls from your lips, child, and the good Lord will provide.
In Russia, Teodor is pronounced Tyeh-odor.
I have no idea how Teodor is pronounced in Russia.
Speak the first true thing that falls from your lips, child, and the good Lord will provide.
sje46
+0 -0
In my head it was always Tay-o-door, but that was the corruption of the Spanish language. I'll go with Tyeh. Or "teh"
"Teh-o-door"
In my head it was always Tay-o-door, but that was the corruption of the Spanish language. I'll go with Tyeh. Or "teh"
"Teh-o-door"
belgand
+0 -0
It is definitely some version of -adore as you will recall his IM name in the past was "T-Adore". Thus, that is how I pronounce it.
I suspect this was partly put in to explain exactly how Onstad intended it to be pronounced.
It is definitely some version of -adore as you will recall his IM name in the past was "T-Adore". Thus, that is how I pronounce it.
I suspect this was partly put in to explain exactly how Onstad intended it to be pronounced.
belgand
+2 -0
Onstad is still totally a dude who does not know how to stick to his damn self-imposed deadlines. 2 AM and still nothing.
I don't need someone else in my life to break promises to me. I already have one dad.
Onstad is still totally a dude who does not know how to stick to his damn self-imposed deadlines. 2 AM and still nothing.
I don't need someone else in my life to break promises to me. I already have one dad.
belgand
+3 -1
Seriously, why do you keep putting up these times when you never, ever actually stick to them? I think the only time in recent memory was when old content was put up.
I understand the desire to constantly refine something. Of never being quite happy with a joke and wanting to polish and repolish and continue second-guessing yourself, but you need to learn to either plan better, make more realistic deadlines for yourself, or build up a backlog and actually only list a time when strips will go up once you have a completed strip ready to go.
Seriously, why do you keep putting up these times when you never, ever actually stick to them? I think the only time in recent memory was when old content was put up.
I understand the desire to constantly refine something. Of never being quite happy with a joke and wanting to polish and repolish and continue second-guessing yourself, but you need to learn to either plan better, make more realistic deadlines for yourself, or build up a backlog and actually only list a time when strips will go up once you have a completed strip ready to go.
crunky
+0 -0
hint: he's burnt the hell out. weeded out and going through the motions. also, he couldn't care less about the lowly, noncontributing reader.
hint: he's burnt the hell out. weeded out and going through the motions. also, he couldn't care less about the lowly, noncontributing reader.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Man you better be careful what you say or everyone will tell you that Chris doesn't owe you anything, that you should be GRATEFUL to pay to read his comic.
Man you better be careful what you say or everyone will tell you that Chris doesn't owe you anything, that you should be GRATEFUL to pay to read his comic.
theguitarhero
+0 -2
I know I promised not to start this argument again, because frankly it is even wearing me out, but the idea that "8 years of charity doesn't mean you are guaranteed a 9th" and that "Chris Onstad doesn't owe us anything" seems illogical. It is not like Chris is giving us something for free we have to pay for everywhere else. If he was, the first statement would be 100 percent true. But it ISN'T charity, it is a service that is offered for free by many other people, so I shouldn't have to pay extra money just to get "the better stuff" (which I'm not saying we HAVE to).
Also, no, Chris doesn't owe us ANYTHING, he owes us EVERYTHING. We are loyal fans and readers, who buy pretty much any and everything the man produces. Without us he would not be in business.
And to finish something I should have said earlier, keir I was wrong in calling you annoying. It wasn't YOU that was annoying it was the fact that you basically spammed the comment board with advertisements for the subscriptions, apropos of nothing, and accrued large amounts of chubbies for it. Considering I've been yelled at plenty of times for "blogging up Assetbar" I find it rather ridiculous that you weren't at least questioned for this.
I know I promised not to start this argument again, because frankly it is even wearing me out, but the idea that "8 years of charity doesn't mean you are guaranteed a 9th" and that "Chris Onstad doesn't owe us anything" seems illogical. It is not like Chris is giving us something for free we have to pay for everywhere else. If he was, the first statement would be 100 percent true. But it ISN'T charity, it is a service that is offered for free by many other people, so I shouldn't have to pay extra money just to get "the better stuff" (which I'm not saying we HAVE to).
Also, no, Chris doesn't owe us ANYTHING, he owes us EVERYTHING. We are loyal fans and readers, who buy pretty much any and everything the man produces. Without us he would not be in business.
And to finish something I should have said earlier, keir I was wrong in calling you annoying. It wasn't YOU that was annoying it was the fact that you basically spammed the comment board with advertisements for the subscriptions, apropos of nothing, and accrued large amounts of chubbies for it. Considering I've been yelled at plenty of times for "blogging up Assetbar" I find it rather ridiculous that you weren't at least questioned for this.
rowboat
+1 -0
Maybe if you make fifty more posts about this Onstad will understand the error of his ways. And don't forget to put it in all caps. So he can hear you.
Maybe if you make fifty more posts about this Onstad will understand the error of his ways. And don't forget to put it in all caps. So he can hear you.
theguitarhero
+0 -1
LIKE THIS?
LIKE THIS?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
I FOUND THE SUBJECT MATTER OF THIS CAPITALIZED COMMENT LACKING.
I FOUND THE SUBJECT MATTER OF THIS CAPITALIZED COMMENT LACKING.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Man, TGH, you should just storm out and not come back. Show him that you won't support people who want arrogantly claim ownership of their intellectual property. That'd learn him.
Man, TGH, you should just storm out and not come back. Show him that you won't support people who want arrogantly claim ownership of their intellectual property. That'd learn him.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Um, I don't really see how making someone pay to read your comic is claiming ownership.
I'm pretty sure copyrighting it is claiming ownership on it.
Um, I don't really see how making someone pay to read your comic is claiming ownership.
I'm pretty sure copyrighting it is claiming ownership on it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
That and the fact that his name is on every strip.
That and the fact that his name is on every strip.
irondave
+0 -0
It's not an argument until you come up with idea that's worth arguing about.
It's not an argument until you come up with idea that's worth arguing about.
keir
+0 -0
I find your whole attitude really unnecessarily negative.
I take your point that he owes his living to us. However, he's never, ever forced us to pay for anything. There aren't even any ads on this site, which I'm sure you'll agree is pretty goddamn rare.
What he has done is given us what I consider to be the best comic strip of all time, for nothing. He offers us books, t-shirts etc, and we buy them. He offers us a premium lounge, and we sign up. He has gone out of his way every step of the way not to be some greasy money-grubbing internet entrepreneur and all some people can do is complain about missed deadlines. Yes, I supposes I agree that setting specific deadlines and then not meeting them is mildly annoying, but come on, give him a break.
Maybe I can put your mind at ease about one thing. The premium lounge is cool, but it isn't that cool, i.e. the real stuff is, and always will be on the main site.
Lastly, I apologise for spamming the board (even though it was only like 3 comments), but I truly think the premium lounge is worth the small amount of money you have to pay.
I find your whole attitude really unnecessarily negative.
I take your point that he owes his living to us. However, he's never, ever forced us to pay for anything. There aren't even any ads on this site, which I'm sure you'll agree is pretty goddamn rare.
What he has done is given us what I consider to be the best comic strip of all time, for nothing. He offers us books, t-shirts etc, and we buy them. He offers us a premium lounge, and we sign up. He has gone out of his way every step of the way not to be some greasy money-grubbing internet entrepreneur and all some people can do is complain about missed deadlines. Yes, I supposes I agree that setting specific deadlines and then not meeting them is mildly annoying, but come on, give him a break.
Maybe I can put your mind at ease about one thing. The premium lounge is cool, but it isn't that cool, i.e. the real stuff is, and always will be on the main site.
Lastly, I apologise for spamming the board (even though it was only like 3 comments), but I truly think the premium lounge is worth the small amount of money you have to pay.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I think that this discussion has become so far removed from the original topic that everyone has forgotten it, and I blame myself for still bringing it up, but the whole thing was about the fear that most of the content was going to be subscriber only, which is obviously not a fear anymore!
I think that this discussion has become so far removed from the original topic that everyone has forgotten it, and I blame myself for still bringing it up, but the whole thing was about the fear that most of the content was going to be subscriber only, which is obviously not a fear anymore!
rowboat
+1 -0
I think a better question is why do you keep believing in the times he puts up when he never, ever actually sticks to them?
I think a better question is why do you keep believing in the times he puts up when he never, ever actually sticks to them?
stereo
+0 -0
Where are these times even posted? I never see them.
Where are these times even posted? I never see them.
rowboat
+0 -0
Main page, above the strip.
Main page, above the strip.
lateadopter
+0 -0
That is, at www.achewood.com, not m.assetbar.com.
That is, at www.achewood.com, not m.assetbar.com.
mattylite
+0 -0
Fool me once, shame on you, etc.
Or, try this exciting new version:
Douche me once, shame on the douche.
Douche me twice, rock me like a hurricane.
Fool me once, shame on you, etc.
Or, try this exciting new version:
Douche me once, shame on the douche.
Douche me twice, rock me like a hurricane.
sje46
+0 -0
sexxy.
sexxy.
octafish
+0 -0
SCORPIONS RULE!
SCORPIONS RULE!
belgand
+0 -0
I don't, but I'm generally up at those times and I keep seeing if maybe he's finally got his shit together, paid off Fosgate and is ready to move forward.
Nope.
I don't, but I'm generally up at those times and I keep seeing if maybe he's finally got his shit together, paid off Fosgate and is ready to move forward.
Nope.
dandycorn
+0 -0
Ray's smile says a thousand words.
Ray's smile says a thousand words.
i_love_kate
+4 -0
They are all the same word.
They are all the same word.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i wonder what's going to happen when he says this to Connie.
i wonder what's going to happen when he says this to Connie.
tekende
+0 -0
The TV will find itself facing the business end of a cricket bat.
The TV will find itself facing the business end of a cricket bat.
stereo
+0 -0
Is there any other end?
Is there any other end?
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
the bitter end.
the bitter end.
halfdirt
+0 -0
Oh gosh it's past 12:00 PST and no new comic. Everyone put on your stern expressions.
Oh gosh it's past 12:00 PST and no new comic. Everyone put on your stern expressions.
tekende
+1 -0
I can't seem to find my surprised face!
I can't seem to find my surprised face!
lynnym
+0 -0
The one time I'm around to catch a strip mid-day, and there it isn't. That's ok, though, provided it doesn't...you know...suck. Still happy!
The one time I'm around to catch a strip mid-day, and there it isn't. That's ok, though, provided it doesn't...you know...suck. Still happy!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
He's not making latkes here. Art takes time (although even an artful latke would be done in a couple of minutes).
He's not making latkes here. Art takes time (although even an artful latke would be done in a couple of minutes).
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
mmmm...latkes.
mmmm...latkes.
illgamesh
+0 -0
True. Art does take time. This is a comic strip about talking animals, though...
JUST KIDDING, EVERYONE!
True. Art does take time. This is a comic strip about talking animals, though...
JUST KIDDING, EVERYONE!
adahn
+0 -0
Is Ray's junk smaller in this strip? I am dissapoint.
Is Ray's junk smaller in this strip? I am dissapoint.
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
It a matter of perspective; it's cold out and his belly is distended.
It a matter of perspective; it's cold out and his belly is distended.
belgand
+0 -0
My grandparents lived in two-dimensional Leningrad. Not funny, not cool, not a good asset.
My grandparents lived in two-dimensional Leningrad. Not funny, not cool, not a good asset.
thedrizzle
+0 -0
Your mother is so sexually ambiguous, she orgasmed and a big, hot, tranny mess came out! Some of it got on the mayor!
Your mother is so sexually ambiguous, she orgasmed and a big, hot, tranny mess came out! Some of it got on the mayor!
tekende
+0 -0
Was that mother Cytherea?
Was that mother Cytherea?
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I had to google this. Then I had to get a mop. That poor girl must have dehydration issues.
I had to google this. Then I had to get a mop. That poor girl must have dehydration issues.
tekende
+0 -0
Perhaps, but the orgasms look as though they're worth it.
Perhaps, but the orgasms look as though they're worth it.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
*splut*
*splut*
stereo
+0 -0
I was that mother.
I was that mother.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
...Dad?
...Dad?
puguglypress
+0 -0
i fuckin hate this strip, but i just noticed that phillipe has changed expressions since the first time it was drawn. Why did chris bother? the strip still sucks
i fuckin hate this strip, but i just noticed that phillipe has changed expressions since the first time it was drawn. Why did chris bother? the strip still sucks
icecube
+0 -0
This is pretty much my favourite strip
This is pretty much my favourite strip
duperando
+0 -0
Phillipe's crazy phrase surprises and pleases Lyle so much that he gets his mouth back again.
Phillipe's crazy phrase surprises and pleases Lyle so much that he gets his mouth back again.
coldfrog
+0 -0
Pushing discuss while shopping the achewood store brought me here. What other surprises do you have in store for me, Assetbar? (Also, ha ha, the number of comments was a square number before this, and now it's a only divisible by 17 and 53. LOSERS!
Pushing discuss while shopping the achewood store brought me here. What other surprises do you have in store for me, Assetbar? (Also, ha ha, the number of comments was a square number before this, and now it's a only divisible by 17 and 53. LOSERS!
coldfrog
+0 -0
)
)
A comment left by kaz was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sean1058, Sweetlips, Zoltan, desert_donkey)
Ray makes my heart warm.
i agree. out of the 3, his reaction was the most spontaneous, stopping in the middle of his diatribe, and then the classic smile.
A comment left by hardelicious was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Marcus_Brody, mania3, Lumus)
I immediately looked below and saw that someone had made almost the same comment. I am a big hot tranny mess.
Awww. That's cute.
*chubbies*
There you go. A cute amount of chubbies for a cute guy.
...that...that worked better before I read you screen name.
This is definitely easier and more profitable than COMPUTER FRO-GRAMMING.
I can see where that would be a problem
[IMGS OFF]
I don't know what disturbs me more, that you took the time to find that picture or that someone out there decided to take a picture of a laptop with a fright wig on it.
i think it all might be down to one man
A little from Column A, a little from Column B. But I don't think that's a fright wig, you little racist man, you. Hehe.
Are you senile, or are you just trying to stall us?
Perhaps the $6 a parallel to the usual six hundo he doles out when he's serious about something. He just figures someone still in the single digits of their life only needs single digits of money.
I was wondering about this too... Is it that $6 is the six hundo equivalent for little kids, or is $6 the amount Ray gives for small moments of happiness? We can only wait and see.
Perhaps it's a sign that next year...he'll be six.
Philippe cannot be six, because he is five. His age is five. With most animals and things, age varies depending on the time elapsed from birth. But Philippe is five.
I play Fallout 3 as well. (Or 'aswell'?).
well said my good man, well said
I think that $6 is the $600 equivalent for little kids, I recall quarters being worth a fortune when I was that age. $6 could get you endless candy.
Times moves slower when you're a kid. That bag of candy that might last a week for an adult if they're lucky and don't have a girlfriend who will eat half of it is a fucking hoard for a kid.
You are six dollars! Yes, you are!
A comment left by keir was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Tucky, equinn2006, Howard, Sweetlips, SkiddyFisk, mikerotch6, prettyrad, theguitarhero, salvar, mrblank91, synapse)
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by baabaa, storableprawn, lateadopter, alejandroadam)
Does keir's excessive flaunting of wealth bother you that much?
Are you 5?
Yes on both.
Thank you, that concludes this survey.
The Annoying Poster of the Week is still Magic Eye. Those things never had any secret 3D image in them. It was a lie. People only believed it because they were told that it did so they tricked themselves into believing they saw it or just outright lied. Lied like the Magic Eye people lied to us all.
yes, belgand, they're all liars. everyone's lying.
Admit it, the emperor has no depth! Magic Eye was a sham!
Please visit your optometrist. He will offer quite a convincing lie to quell the symptoms arising from the other lies. It's a tidy lie package.
Since I already wear glasses if he hasn't already addressed this I fear he may have been lying to me about other things all along. At the very least he's doing a shoddy job and his backside should feel the sting of hickory.
How about you deliver it across the backside this time.
As opposed to along his backside?
I see we have an HTML programmer.
No. What you see is abject failure twice.
As opposed to up his backside?
No wonder. I've been doing it tangent to his backside.
dangit.
N00B!!
When will people learn that BBCode is by far the most powerful and efficient programming language of all?
when Comic Sans becomes The Standard.
It's more of a pidgin than a language. Pig-latin, if you will. Or won't.
Do you actually believe this? Be honest, please. IT is definitely a real phenomenon. You can give a bunch of people the same stereogram and ask them--without allowing them to communicate--to write down what they see, and most of the ones who know how to figure it out--assuming the picture isn't too complicated--will write down the same answer. I promise you this.
You have to unfocus your eyes. I am a master of these. You can do it if you cross your eyes, but the image is reversed.
That sounds suspiciously like Science to me.
I have not been able to get these to work since the early 90s when they were first popular. Not ever. I even tried again last night and still it does not work.
I think they have likely just gotten to you.
What, like Rowdy Roddy Piper in "They Live"?
[IMGS OFF]
LOVE THIS MOVIE.
LOVE IT.
FILM.
Agreed. This film provides 100% of the daily recommended value of Cheesy Goodness, Fun Times, and Zippy One-Liners.
Exactly like that.
Only I can see the lack of hidden messages in Magic Eye and it gives me power. I know the true secrets of reality as a result.
I'm all outa bubblegum.
Just because you are not able to do something, that doesn't mean that everybody else is crazy and you are sane. Once you see it, it is self-evident it isn't apophenia. AT first, it is a mystery how it works, but if you think about how the eyes work in conjunction with one another to see depth, it makes sense.
Do you ever just leave your eyes unfocused? Do you ever hold two pencils up and let your eyes focus past them so that they become three pencils instead? That is exactly what you're doing here. [IMGS OFF]
Do you see those vertical elements? How it's like a pattern? You have to make them come together like the pencil. Focus past the computer screen while still concentrating on the pattern. It's very possible.
Your explanation is really good, but I've never been able to do this and I still can't. I used to believe folks were making it up, much like Belgand does. But I also used to believe that shooting stars were imaginary. I still haven't seen one of those either, but enough trustworthy - and considerably less drug-addled - people have, and so now I just trust them blindly.
Wait wait wait...is it.....is it a 1967 Lamborghini Miura Roadster...with....Ronald William Gordon Mackay....and..and a younger, hotter version of my maternal grand...father?....no, mother - definitely maternal grand mother ......mainlining..."angel dust"....blasting.....chubby Belinda Carlisle-era Go-Gos.....tearing down interstate....15 south outta Conrad, Montana.....on a mission to....murder my.....father?....no, no definitely the pool boy....before I can be..............conceived?
No. Wait. No. It's a carrot. Duh.
Haha.
I recommend just getting used to unfocusing your eyes. Make it less of an automatic thing. Notice how only things a certain distance from your eyes are in single-vision; everything else is in double vision to some extent, and the closer to your eyes it is, the more pronounced and obvious it is.
If you practice enough, you can unfocus your eyes on will, like a muscle.
Or, just cross your eyes when you look at these things. This is easier for beginners, only it's inverse, and blurry. And your brain may not be able to undwrstand what it's looking at just yet, but it will recognize differences in depth. With practice, it will percieve the image instantly.
Unfortunately people with poor stereo-scopic vision (lazy, lazy eyes) will have serious trouble with this. My neuropsych tutor used to give me shit about it, especially the experiments with the 3-D glasses. Bastard.
I actually know exactly how they work and, in theory, how to get them to work. I'm kind of distressed that SJE was so gullible to think I really believed it a conspiracy.
Interestingly I saw Coraline (pretty good, not great, I'd say see it in theaters to see the 3D while you can, but don't worry if you miss it) the other night and I had trouble with the 3D. Oh, it worked most of the time, but fast motion would blur it out too much and sometimes I had trouble and would basically see the depth,but flatten it out a bit.
So it might honestly be that it really is an issue with my eyes more than anything. I always passed my eye tests as a kid though....
The 3D in Coraline worked better in the outdoor scenes, IMO.
The tunnel worked very well as did the establishing shots of the rooms in the other world. It worked better when it implied depth into the screen, not out of it.
I didn't really care that much if you were telling the truth or not. I saw the opportunity to teach about one of the very few things I know, and I took it.
I'm thinking that possibly you could be colorblind. I think they test for that for children though. Either this, or you have a lazy eye, or you have only one eye. These are the only things I can think of that could cause you to not see it sensory-wise. The problem with most people though is simply the perception; that is, the brain.
None of the above. I see colors fine (a friend of mine is colorblind, I know the difference), my eyes are definitely not lazy, and last time I checked I had all three of them.
It's definitely the brain. I'm usually rather good at being able to ignore optical illusions if I choose to. Not always, but many times I can see things two ways at once.
The one that always gets me though is
[IMGS OFF]
I can swap it, but it's very compelling.
I don't know what this is supposed to be, besides a girl who is spinning in circles and sort of bobbing up and down.
Please help.
IF you're like me, she is spinning clockwise. To other people she is spinning counter-clockwise. You can teach yourself to change what direction she is spinning in.
Staring at the shadows helps me.
I hate this.
I originally only saw it going counter-clockwise. Then I turned my laptop around and looked at it upsidedown, and then I saw could see it going clockwise.
Now I can't see it going counter-clockwise again.
I hate things like this.
I am stupid.
It's really difficult and frustrating. I don't think it shows poor intelligence or weak will if you can't do it at will. I have a lot of trouble with it and get frustrated too.
Yeah, I believe it has absolutely nothing to do with right brain/left brain sort of things, but I find it an utterly compelling and interesting illusion.
It is so annoying and weird when you do make the switch and then can't seem to get it to go back. I mean, just a second ago you couldn't fathom how it could ever go the other way and now you're locked into a new direction.
Oh god, I was trying it again and I found that if I was looking at it out of the corner of my eye I could make it swap easily, but the second I looked back at it it was like she knew what I was doing and turned back to the way I was initially seeing it. Crazy.
Must be cold in there.
I all I see is that she's naked, and nippin.
i call bullshit.
i stared for over a minute and it switched. initially she is doing her thing on her left leg.. then she switched to her right leg.
it's a hoax. on her left / counterclockwise. on her right / clockwise.
there's nothing mystifying about this unless your fucking dildo.
"..you'RE A.."
Oh God, I stared too long and now her arm is going one way, her leg is going the other, and her chest is bouncing back and forth.
Dear Belgand,
You are no longer a kid. Eyes change. Usually for the worse.
Regards,
The International Optometry Association.
True, but I'm usually also at the optometrist every few years to get my prescription updated as needed. The last time when they did that thing where they puff air into your eye and take a picture of it was fascinating.
I had this exact same problem with Coraline, and I can't see Magic Eye pictures either. I can, however, read highway signs from alarmingly far distances.
Also, I loved Coraline. I don't think that the story was very complete, but it was visually fantastic, 3D or no 3D.
Oddly I felt it looked a lot more like 3D than stop-motion. Especially compared to Nightmare Before Christmas . I think it was the character design. In this things tended to be a lot more grounded and the models were typically much smoother. It was odd.
I was thinking that it, in a way, makes sense to do stop-motion in 3D as we're looking at a physical object and this could better represent its 3D nature compared to 2D animation.
I was impressed with Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D. I'm not sure I would have been impressed with the 2D version.
I highly recommend putting the glasses on either upside down or backwards. One way (I don't remember which) does stuff like make someone standing in front of a wall look like they're farther away than the wall is. It's a very strange effect. Basically your eyes and brain have a fight.
My eyes and brain have a fight everytime I drive past an elementary school.
Hello, Nolan from the Internet?
The question is: hitch, bang, or kill?
(H)itch, (B)ang...or (M)urder???
Sixth graders will mainly fall under bang and kill or usually both in one order or another. No hitchin', though. That's unnatural.
Whoa. For the first time ever I was able to get it to work perfectly. I feel like a whole new world of poster enjoyment has opened before me, like my Doors of Perception are finally cleansed and I can see God's face again. My love for the world is wild and pure. I want to write you a check for six dollars.
Looking at these tend to put me in a relaxed mood.
I can't go walleyed so your "Hi Belgand!" appears indented rather than popping out as I assume it is meant to.
It's not going wall-eyed. What do you mean indented?
It looks poppy-outy to me. Weird, I usually can't do these with my glasses on.
Bizarre, I have always seen these things as being indented. It has never even occurred to me that they might pop out. Armed with that knowledge, I tried again, and it's still definitely indented.
i don't think it matters much. you must just see a glass instead of two ladies. etc.
It just depend if you go cross-eyed or walleyed.
If we mark 2 objects A and B, then cross-eyed = left eye sees B, right eye sees A. Wall-eyed is the opposite. Due to the way depth perception works, the "3d" effect will be reversed depending which you do.
To get cross-eyed, just put your finger (or something) between your face and the screen, and focus on it. Then go back to the screen without re-aiming your eyes, and if it's a pattern like this one you can get it clear without uncrossing your eyes.
On the other hand, to do it walleyed, go close to the screen (maybe 10-20 cm) and unfocus from it, maybe blink a few times. Your eyes should uncross, and if you're focussed on this kind of pattern you can see it the other way.
At least that's what works for me.
I did it once. I was happy.
This is good.
sje, are you familiar with "stereo images"? Click https://artbytheo.deviantart.com/art/Stand-Stereo-107295477 for a pretty good one (you'll need to click the image for full-size view). Basically you kind of cross your eyes until the images are aligned and then unfocus, and the two images become one and it looks 3-D and really cool.
https://www.starosta.com/3dshowcase/ihelp.html page explains it better.
dude those are so fucking rad. i have a new second favorite art form and it is that.
I was so afraid that that first link was a screamer (you know, like those Youtube videos that you stare at, and then some face suddenly pops up). I don't think even my eyes can diverge that far, unless I zoom out/take a few steps back.
Stereo images are the same concept as random-dots. They are pretty rad, though.
Agreed: rad
The message reads "Hi Belgand"
What I do to is kind of bug out my eyes for a split second, then relax them. Anyone can do it.
It's easy for me, so it must be this easy for everyone!
I'm just tryin not to sound superior, you know? Next time I'll just go on about how exceptional I am for being able to do this. Would that be all right?
I almost went with "Hi, douchebag!", but then I decided to be boring. I think I made the wrong decision.
All I see is green. No matter how unfocused my eyes get, it's green.
Oh your fucking gods after going on about this and making even further posts that one actually worked for me. It had, truth be told sadly, nothing to do with what SJE said, but I still saw it. That is, it had an obvious illusion of depth, but I couldn't quite make out what it was saying.
Bravo young sir, you have succeeded finally.
That is, of course, unless this was somehow concocted specifically in an attempt to prove to me that the other ones are actually real. This is probably just part of the conspiracy designed to silence those who speak out about it.
YOUR CUNNING RUSE SHALL NOT WORK!!
It is so cool when it "pops". All of a sudden it's like you are seeing the reality behind the illusion that the people call reality. The curtain has been pulled back, and there really is "something" there!
Something that you have suspected all along but could never justify since "that's just crazy." But there it is and it's real. You don't have to justify it - you are looking at it! What a rush.
OK now who wants some blotter? :D
There doesn't need to be an illusion. Look at contemporary physics. Reality is far more weird and terrifying than anything we could ever hope to invent.
If you're not filled with existential dread and true, fear-inspiring awe every moment of your life then you're not comprehending everything yet.
Belgand is filled with Old Testament existential dread and true, fear-inspiring awe every moment of his life.
Voted Assetbar's most likely to flip his screaming wighat at some near existential point in the future.
Yeah, I think if any of us were to go o a screaming machine-gun rampage, it would definitely be Belgand. He just seems so . .. unstable. And I wonder if us talking about him is making it worse?
Dude! Look behind you, he's... right... there!
Yeah, I know what you mean. Not going to happen though. I can't see any way in which that wouldn't make my life a lot worse and fail to solve my problems. Not the logical solution to anything ever.
Belgand is at least trying to solve his problems, while struggling with all his might to keep from being swept down Existentialism's Universal, Dreadful Toilet of Losers.
This is not only commendable, it is possibly even heroic.
GOOD
glubLUCK,glubBELGAND!!!!it's not a boat, it's a schooner
sje46, The Defender of the Magic Eye. Question not his powers. It is his mission in life to give every Achewood Reader the chance to escape Hell. So it has been said, and so it shall come to pass or some such and so on etc etc etc.
Incidentally, I can't see the fuckers either.
It is so awesome that people are replying to this.
Not really.
"That guy just said Magic Eye posters were a conspiracy. I'm going to type out a paragraph showing him the error of his ways and change his mind over the internet."
No one thought for a second that he might just be fucking with them. That kind of optimism and naivete in this day and age are beautiful.
Why would anyone lie to me? Belgand's my friend!
Besides, I like explaining things to people, even if they don't need it.
And that is why I lie to you. Don't feel special though. I lie to everyone for these purposes. Deliberately misinforming my girlfriend until she finally believes outrageous lies is a common pasttime of mine.
My boyfriend does this. When I caught onto his game I stopped believing EVERYTHING he said. Google and wikipedia are now a regular part of our conversations.
Don't let this happen to you.
When you start typing "IS MY DICK GOOD" into Google you you know it's time to re-evaluate the relationship.
When Belgand says that he does like/believe in something, he is never joking.
*does not
belgand never jokes. he is never, ever joking.
Generally true, but not in this case, for once. I know they're not a conspiracy, but I still can't see the damn things. I was thinking, and I have no reason why, that perhaps a period of time that will not be discussed for it would make me upset having passed would cause me to be able to do them in a way I couldn't at the time they were popular. It has not been so.
Incidentally, if we really want to place proper blame it was watching the episode of Seinfeld that deals with this the other night that got me on the topic.
And the movie Mallrats covered it as well.
Don't you dare presuppose that I don't know that.
Some of us saw Mallrats in theaters young'in.
Some of us think that Kevin Smith is a hack who peaked at Clerks .
That some of us is me!
But do you agree that Clerks is a good movie?
I love Clerks, but past that I'm not a K.S. fan. I want to see Zack and Miri but because of Seth Rogen and Craig Robinson.
I think I hate you even more now.
You are seeing that movie for all the wrong reasons.
Superbad was fun, but in the tradition of a long line of 80s teen comedies. The other Judd Apatow stuff? Horrible! Some of the worst movies ever made! It's mainly his message though. Look at both 30 Year-Old Virgin (mildly amusing in places) and the execrable Knocked Up and you see the same viewpoint being espoused: guys need to stop doing the things that they enjoy and make them happy so they can have a dull, mainstream relationship with a bland, shallow, popular-mainstream-attractive sort of woman and get married to her.
It's essentially nothing but a terrible morality play for social conformity that tells men that they're wrong and says nothing about the terrible women.
Not to mention how I'd never want anything to do with the shallow, careerist loser in Knocked Up with her horrible job. She's made out to be successful and pretty and great, but I loathe just about everything about her.
OK, sorry, that was a completely uncalled for rant, but you tapped deeply into my angry place.
I liked Zack and Miri. It was funny even if the central sex scene was really weird and betraying Smith's more recently dominant desires to make terrible romantic comedies.
I know what to put into your room 101.
Not really. I will never reveal my deepest fears to you or anyone else. They will inevitably use it against me or let it slip to someone who will.
I cannot trust someone to the point that I would willfully give them that power over me.
What? You have even deeper fears than just your quaking, existential dread of living?
You're really taking being scared a bit far. I think you enjoy it.
It's not the falling that's the problem (actually, that is pretty damn scary), it's the sudden stop at the end.
There is no stop at the end.
ALLLL ABOARDDDDDDD!!!
What about the heat-death of the universe?
So what about it? You're getting ahead of yourself just a tad, no?
Perhaps, but I'm saying that even if you want to say that there is no end of the line you're eventually going to run out of track.
The UNIVERSE IS GOING TO END IN 10 BILLION
I- YEARS. DON'T WAIT TIL THE LAST MINUTE! REPENT NOW!I just don't see how any rational being can fail to be reduced to gibbering terror by that concept.
Do you secretly believe you're immortal, yet put on an existentialist front? Why would you possibly care?
Maybe we all are living in gibbering terror at the concept.
Did you ever watch that TV series, Shogun? With Toshiro Mifune and Richard Chamberlain? Early on in the show, the Pilot/Anjin-san's crew are shipwrecked on the shore of a Japanese island. This is, like the 16th century.
The prospect of their ship demolished in an unknown, barbaric (in their view) land is enough for one of the crew to begin gibbering into a panic until he literally strokes out on fear and dies. Humans are actually capable of this type of emotional override of life function. I find that strange.
Heat death of the universe? I don't really feel terror, but it's incredibly depressing. OTOH, something caused the big bang, and if it happened once, it can happen again.
I can't feature you guys getting bummed over the end of the universe. But, it's a pretty cool universe, after all.
I guess.... after only 5 billion years....
We've grown accustomed to her face...
(She almost makes the day begin)
I've grown accustomed to the tune
that she whistles night and noon.
Her smiles, her frowns,
her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now....
I'm a Seth Rogen fan but even I hated Knocked Up.
I didn't realize you hated me enough to hate me more though. That makes me kind of sad.
I disagree with some opinions that you have, belgand.
We all do, that pretty much a constant
It's like the one rule we have here.
Also, off topic, but apparently Spinynorman posts on the AV Club comment board! I saw him yesterday but sadly my username there is not the same as my user name here.
Ironically he didn't post anything funny or long winded, he just said how he enjoyed the show Dinosaurs.
That's pretty funny.
Also, I like to use other Assetbarbarians' names as accounts on other sites.
YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU RUINED MY STANDING ON THISIS50.COM
Because of you, I now know that THISIS50 exists.
Unfortunately, even there you must "become a member to access exclusive content"
But that could be said for anyone. Everyone will disagree with some opinions that someone else has.
Practicing unfocusing your eyes strike me as about as useful as practicing unclenching your sphincter. I am also convinced that the 3D image thing is a lie, just like fireflies.
Unfocusing your eyes is useful for stereograms, and unclenching your sphincter is useful for pooping.
I suppose one of these is more important than the other, but which one is more fun?
Practicing clenching and unclenching your sphincter is about as useful as practicing subverting your gag reflex.
This is gold.
On second thoughts theguitarhero, don't subscribe. It's a much mellower place than here which seems to weed out most of the whiny douchebags, and there is nothing much to complain about.
You wouldn't like it over there, for two of those reasons.
as a whiny man i hate you
I like you conceptually, but not so much in practice.
You are a man of capacity and it is Chubbytown on your horizon.
Well we're waiting here in Chubbytown
And they've lamed another diatribe down
You see, I only complain about the things that piss me off, like douchbags bragging about being able to subscribe and shit and basically saying we are lowly because we don't do it.
Yeah, some of us are viciously poor and can't afford to spend $3 all willy-nilly just because we want to.
Yeah my fucking car exploded today.
You should perhaps worry less about Achewood comments and figure out why the Mob is after you.
"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella around?"
Fo' drizzle!
logical thinking for the win, d.
GAWDAM WERE YOU IN IT?!?!? that would have been so fucking radical, man! fuck. i'd spent $3bills all "willy nilly" to see that shit.
In the subscriber area, Jay-Z will sometimes complain about losing backgammon games to Cornelius, but then Richard Branson says "Wonder what the poor people are doing?"
And we laugh. Oh, how we laugh.
Shhh man, who lamed this? The idea of Jay-Z sitting down to a nice game of backgammon with Cornelius just cracks me up. Button-ups all around, gents!
There are an excessive number of lames flying around, entire stretches of the 'bar laid barren.
I think someone keeps registering new accounts so they can get more lames.
Newbies only get 1 or 2 lames a day. The above lamer "Chilibreath" is listed as an "expert." I'll note also that one miscreant arbitrarily lamed the first eight posts for the 2/11/08 strip (i'm watchin' you "wallabeechamp").
The essence of community is tolerance for one another (and the willingness to put the beat-down on truly disruptive assholes).
What's disruptive about laming?
Is that a obscure, real life Vonnegut Dresden quote? In MY AssetBar? It's more likely than you think.
Sorry, not that likely. I just picked it up from the same guy I stole "I'll burn that bridge when I come to it" from. He probably got it from Vonnegut. Seemed like a Vonnegut kind of guy.
I'm pretty sure Vonnegut actually got the phrase from Fats Waller, who used to say "I wonder what the poor people are doing...I'd love to be with them!".
I think it's just an old saying. My source used it when something very redneck happened, like when a drunk person at a party knocks over the punchbowl or shits in the floor. I've always used it while enjoying simple pleasures with others of modest means, like over a grill full of meat, some domestic brew, and DVR full of Breaking Bad, Torchwood, and Reaper.
Until the part about the DVR, I was certain, CERTAIN you were talking about me.
Carry on, my wayward son.
The hell?! I did neither of those things, all I did was recommend the subscriber area because:
a) it is good value
b) it directly supports Achewood, which as you might be aware isn't the internet's most profitable business.
I don't like people complaining about something they got for free, and I don't know why I'm being attacked.
Be happy. Be happy about Achewood
A comment left by theguitarhero was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by TommyTheBrat, iceofboston, lateadopter)
Give me one single example of "making all non-subscribers out to be people essentially stealing content".
Jesus Christ, fucking lighten up a bit. Subscribe, don't subscribe, what the fuck do I care. Just stop fucking complaining. This is a positive thing, people voted to give away what THEY'D ALREADY PAID FOR to everyone else, for nothing.
Maybe set your "miserable cynicism" dial back down to medium for a couple of weeks.
Jesus.
Hey guys! Look! Kittens!
[IMGS OFF]
Please don't fight, you're tearing this family apart
Awwwwwww
=3
Heh! Kittens: Nature's puppies.
Kittens: Nature's dogfood
These Kittens are making me Thirsty!
Actually, I'm eating pretzels.
oh.
those are not the same as kittens.
hilarious.
This may be the funniest thing I've read on Achewood in some time.
Well played, good sir.
I am allergic to cats and those are not very adorable at all. Even for kittens they are very low on the scale of adorability.
There is always a price for reading achewood
It's like a new baby lamb!
Whoops, sorry fermatprime. Didn't see that you beat me to the joke.
I need a checkbook to give away money to my cousins.
In a cute way.
See Onstad, you make a comic without food references and it's GOOD.
We get it, you like cooking and you're a bit of a snob about it, let it go.
HEY ASSETBAR WUTS GOIN ON, CAN I HAVE SOME LAMES FOR OLD TIMES SAKE?
gasp
NeoNaoNeo is like Dan from Street Fighter. He just won't die but nobody cares when he comes back for revenge.
Fuck you buddy.
Chubbied, though.
Paradox.
A lame? Sure, I've got one he.... heyyyyy waitaminnit!