mikeleffel2
+0 -1
Lord, the imagery. Beautiful.
Lord, the imagery. Beautiful.
twotonturkey
+33 -0
I like how Cornelius shamefully looks over his shoulder, as if the Pulitzer judges might be sneaking up on him.
I like how Cornelius shamefully looks over his shoulder, as if the Pulitzer judges might be sneaking up on him.
unfun
+1 -0
Cornelius has a wide variance of eyebrows.
Cornelius has a wide variance of eyebrows.
chuvak
+15 -0
More than that, they vanish, then reapper, as if going for a short while to check out another dimension where he doesn't have to write novels like this for money.
More than that, they vanish, then reapper, as if going for a short while to check out another dimension where he doesn't have to write novels like this for money.
contrasoma
+2 -0
Gates seems the perfect sort to pitch this new venture to. Lord knows he doesn't get much validation elsewhere .
Gates seems the perfect sort to pitch this new venture to. Lord knows he doesn't get much validation elsewhere .
carageenan
+0 -0
you seen this yet?
https://www.nbc11.com/news/13889730/detail.html
you seen this yet?
https://www.nbc11.com/news/13889730/detail.html
contrasoma
+0 -0
I hadn't! Very interesting, thanks. Too bad it wasn't enough to net him the Nobel this time around.
I hadn't! Very interesting, thanks. Too bad it wasn't enough to net him the Nobel this time around.
otter
+2 -0
"Pynchon was born in 1937. Other notable works include V., Gravity's Rainbow, Vineland and Mason & Dixon, according to the book's back cover."
wow, way to do research, NBC!
"Pynchon was born in 1937. Other notable works include V., Gravity's Rainbow, Vineland and Mason & Dixon, according to the book's back cover."
wow, way to do research, NBC!
hereward
+0 -0
I love how the guys who cracked it initially went out that evening with the intention to score, and ended up solving corporate symbol-code. Beautifully nerdy.
I love how the guys who cracked it initially went out that evening with the intention to score, and ended up solving corporate symbol-code. Beautifully nerdy.
son_of_selleck
+0 -0
A comment left by son_of_selleck was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mike24, michellemarie, whoppin, domini, Lereya, Jork)
A comment left by son_of_selleck was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mike24, michellemarie, whoppin, domini, Lereya, Jork)
divot
+10 -0
Chubbied, for your Howard-Moon-esque assessment of the situation.
Chubbied, for your Howard-Moon-esque assessment of the situation.
madnes
+8 -2
Chubbied for *your* gratuitous Boosh reference.
Chubbied for *your* gratuitous Boosh reference.
lereya
+22 -0
Anyone who has ever written fanfiction knows the gambit
of emotions that Cornelius is going through, evidenced by his eyebrows.
Creation
Dedication
Pride
Identification
Shame.
Anyone who has ever written fanfiction knows the gambit
of emotions that Cornelius is going through, evidenced by his eyebrows.
Creation
Dedication
Pride
Identification
Shame.
m1st3rbl4ck
+4 -0
the gamut, perhaps? or even gauntlet.
...
the gamut, perhaps? or even gauntlet.
...
pierceg
+1 -2
He meant gambit.
He meant gambit.
pierceg
+1 -1
She*
She*
chuvak
+4 -2
NO. GAMBIT. Like, the X-Man.
NO. GAMBIT. Like, the X-Man.
luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, nighttoad, pitseleh)
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, nighttoad, pitseleh)
selbencoirlo
+0 -0
But they're great for blowing up hats!
And... and card tables?
But they're great for blowing up hats!
And... and card tables?
pie4me6
+0 -0
Exploding playing cards
Exploding playing cards
pie4me6
+1 -0
First BBcode attempt is a success!
First BBcode attempt is a success!
lereya
+5 -0
I was, admittedly, drunk. But I like gambit. I want to hurt people with playing cards. It was totally Freudian.
I was, admittedly, drunk. But I like gambit. I want to hurt people with playing cards. It was totally Freudian.
chuvak
+1 -0
Hells yes. Who doesn't?
Hells yes. Who doesn't?
boredom_man
+0 -0
I want to kill people if I touch them for too long. Wanna have a relationship that is neither platonic nor sexual and makes fanfic-writers weep?
I want to kill people if I touch them for too long. Wanna have a relationship that is neither platonic nor sexual and makes fanfic-writers weep?
selbencoirlo
+1 -0
I actually have that power; I kill people if I touch them too long, too hard, in the face or body. It is both blessing and curse.
I actually have that power; I kill people if I touch them too long, too hard, in the face or body. It is both blessing and curse.
werthog42
+0 -0
A comment left by werthog42 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, ninjaDance, Lereya, Nictusempra)
A comment left by werthog42 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by robotman, ninjaDance, Lereya, Nictusempra)
dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately
+13 -0
you missed one: "Posting it on Acheworld" comes right before "Pride"
you missed one: "Posting it on Acheworld" comes right before "Pride"
lereya
+1 -0
I'm not allowed to give you a Chubby. But I would. Oh, how I would.
I'm not allowed to give you a Chubby. But I would. Oh, how I would.
domini
+7 -0
THE MAN IS SO OLD SCHOOL, HE USES A TYPEWRITER THAT GOES "TING!"
THE MAN IS SO OLD SCHOOL, HE USES A TYPEWRITER THAT GOES "TING!"
domini
+0 -0
all due to a miniature gothic style bell attached to the "return key"
all due to a miniature gothic style bell attached to the "return key"
augeno13
+1 -0
what return key?
what return key?
domini
+1 -1
You see? So old school they replaced the actual keys the bear uses with new ones on modern day typewriter machines.
You see? So old school they replaced the actual keys the bear uses with new ones on modern day typewriter machines.
downwithnow
+0 -0
A comment left by downwithnow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, odei, domini)
A comment left by downwithnow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, odei, domini)
killingthejay
+7 -1
"i'm gonna go draw boobs on the etch-a-sketch!"
"go ahead, they always turn out square!"
"i'm gonna go draw boobs on the etch-a-sketch!"
"go ahead, they always turn out square!"
elzilcho
+13 -1
MEANWHILE: Todd does coke and listens to seven Grateful Dead albums at once. His life is screwed up pretty bad. He doesn't have a lot of options.
MEANWHILE: Todd does coke and listens to seven Grateful Dead albums at once. His life is screwed up pretty bad. He doesn't have a lot of options.
peterjoel
+11 -0
Todd? Who's Todd?
Todd? Who's Todd?
javonathan
+1 -1
First the typewriter goes CLING, then afterwards it goes TING
First the typewriter goes CLING, then afterwards it goes TING
lucas
+2 -0
Yours was the very last comment made before I got on to point out the very same thing. I think we should work for those shitty books written for assholes that point out all the inconsistencies in movies and such.
"When Indiana Jones and gang are racing the Nazis to the canyon of the Crescent Moon, Indy looks at the Nazi convoy with binoculars. Close-ups of Indy show the sun is clearly behind him, and the binoculars are in his shadow. But then a glare from the lens alerts the Nazis to their presence."
Yours was the very last comment made before I got on to point out the very same thing. I think we should work for those shitty books written for assholes that point out all the inconsistencies in movies and such.
"When Indiana Jones and gang are racing the Nazis to the canyon of the Crescent Moon, Indy looks at the Nazi convoy with binoculars. Close-ups of Indy show the sun is clearly behind him, and the binoculars are in his shadow. But then a glare from the lens alerts the Nazis to their presence."
rogergs
+6 -0
"When Jobs drops the Etch-a-Sketch and scrambles to his feet, the impact would have erased the drawing."
BY JOVE HOLMES
"When Jobs drops the Etch-a-Sketch and scrambles to his feet, the impact would have erased the drawing."
BY JOVE HOLMES
jthompson
+4 -0
It's an IEtch-a-Sketch.
Oh, what? Your Etch-a-Sketch doesn't have that feature? At least you can still compose emails and browse the internet with it, right?
Ohhh, you bought an IEtch-a-Sketch knock off, didn't you?
It's an IEtch-a-Sketch.
Oh, what? Your Etch-a-Sketch doesn't have that feature? At least you can still compose emails and browse the internet with it, right?
Ohhh, you bought an IEtch-a-Sketch knock off, didn't you?
chuvak
+0 -1
man, maybe the typewriter goes cling when a brother hits tab, and ting when a brother hits return.
man, maybe the typewriter goes cling when a brother hits tab, and ting when a brother hits return.
ricnine
+1 -0
Yep, that last panel is definitely shame bordering on self-loathing. It's okay, Mr. Bear; we still love you.
Yep, that last panel is definitely shame bordering on self-loathing. It's okay, Mr. Bear; we still love you.
lereya
+0 -0
Self-loathing looks like shame, but with alcohol. We still love you, Mr. Bear, indeed.
Self-loathing looks like shame, but with alcohol. We still love you, Mr. Bear, indeed.
morelaak
+2 -2
this is so perfect on so many levels....
...and that's coming from me, a mac user.
of course, i'm looking at it in a different way. Gates is too caught up in the complexities of the world to pick up on the simpler things in life, like Steve Jobs (sic).
this is so perfect on so many levels....
...and that's coming from me, a mac user.
of course, i'm looking at it in a different way. Gates is too caught up in the complexities of the world to pick up on the simpler things in life, like Steve Jobs (sic).
prine
+3 -0
Think Different.
Think Different.
happycat
+0 -0
A comment left by happycat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by PierceG, EvilChick, rowboat, CEOKasen)
A comment left by happycat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by PierceG, EvilChick, rowboat, CEOKasen)
morelaak
+0 -0
ok, i don't think you quite got me there.....
i meant Steve Jobs is a simpler thing in life.
C'mon guys, get your latin words used for ridicule and irony straight...
ok, i don't think you quite got me there.....
i meant Steve Jobs is a simpler thing in life.
C'mon guys, get your latin words used for ridicule and irony straight...
zedpower
+8 -0
In the next chapter, Steve Jobs is crying and promising a broken egg that it will still be a chicken someday.
In the next chapter, Steve Jobs is crying and promising a broken egg that it will still be a chicken someday.
pyromancer
+6 -0
In five more paragaphs the sandwich fixin's will be all over the damn floor.
In five more paragaphs the sandwich fixin's will be all over the damn floor.
geysershitdick
+3 -1
The Segway is really more of a Wozniak thing.
The Segway is really more of a Wozniak thing.
tekende
+0 -0
Maybe, but what stands out for me about that is that Jobs somehow managed to make the Segway go UP THE STAIRS.
Maybe, but what stands out for me about that is that Jobs somehow managed to make the Segway go UP THE STAIRS.
kingsleymc
+1 -2
Zzzzz...
Zzzzz...
jordstar
+0 -0
Bill Gates fan fiction is all very well and rad. But I dread Achewood fan fiction. I think Achewood fans are reverent enough that they would never try.
Bill Gates fan fiction is all very well and rad. But I dread Achewood fan fiction. I think Achewood fans are reverent enough that they would never try.
barthexderosa
+0 -0
None of this matters, because Jobs had the plucky, boyish Noah Wyle play him in the made-for-TV movie, while Gates had the scary post-steriodal meatgeek Anthony Michael Hall.
Advantage: Jobs
None of this matters, because Jobs had the plucky, boyish Noah Wyle play him in the made-for-TV movie, while Gates had the scary post-steriodal meatgeek Anthony Michael Hall.
Advantage: Jobs
norrin
+0 -0
A comment left by norrin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, GSurge, robotman)
A comment left by norrin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, GSurge, robotman)
norrin
+0 -0
I think poeple may have misunderstood what I meant. I said he's uninterested because in the previous comic he clearly showed that he did not care for the topic. I didn't mean the writing sucked.
I think poeple may have misunderstood what I meant. I said he's uninterested because in the previous comic he clearly showed that he did not care for the topic. I didn't mean the writing sucked.
luckyg
+0 -0
Oh, I just thought you meant he was pleasuring himself to keep his spirits up.
Oh, I just thought you meant he was pleasuring himself to keep his spirits up.
victorsmonster
+1 -1
What is genius is how the line spacing is tighter in panel 3, reflecting the frenetic pace of the narrative.
What is genius is how the line spacing is tighter in panel 3, reflecting the frenetic pace of the narrative.
straw
+1 -1
Pretty sure that's just a way to fit more text in the frame.
Pretty sure that's just a way to fit more text in the frame.
victorsmonster
+1 -1
can't we both be right ?!
can't we both be right ?!
talix18
+1 -1
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS!
HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS!
nbgreene
+1 -0
fukuda has been in office for two weeks... i guess getting a mahogany desk into bill gates' office was one of his first orders of business. makes sense really.
fukuda has been in office for two weeks... i guess getting a mahogany desk into bill gates' office was one of his first orders of business. makes sense really.
neonfreon
+0 -0
Cornelius is Fake Bill Gates.
Cornelius is Fake Bill Gates.
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
Does anyone else have trouble seeing the entire alt text? Mine says "it's kind of like Silver Spoons, where the dad lets the kid do whatever they want because it..."
Or does it end there and I just don't understand?
Does anyone else have trouble seeing the entire alt text? Mine says "it's kind of like Silver Spoons, where the dad lets the kid do whatever they want because it..."
Or does it end there and I just don't understand?
boredom_man
+2 -1
Right-click on picture. Choose "Properties." Highlight the Alt-text to scroll through it. Alternatively, "...it can't hurt the dad."
Right-click on picture. Choose "Properties." Highlight the Alt-text to scroll through it. Alternatively, "...it can't hurt the dad."
robotman
+3 -0
Are you running Firefox? There's a plugin that fixes that, and gets all the alt text to display:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1933
Are you running Firefox? There's a plugin that fixes that, and gets all the alt text to display:
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/1933
bourbonsamurai
+0 -0
Sweet. Thanks!
Sweet. Thanks!
asumoactingbig
+0 -0
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pygmalion00
+0 -0
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luckyg
+0 -0
A comment left by luckyg was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, nicklon, prius_chaser, atticusonline)
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rowboat
+1 -0
tongue all wavin' behind him as he runs all saliva flyin' and gettin' on the priceless renoir
tongue all wavin' behind him as he runs all saliva flyin' and gettin' on the priceless renoir
retinarow
+0 -0
Bread is almost always upset by Steve Jobs. He makes it feel really self-conscious.
Bread is almost always upset by Steve Jobs. He makes it feel really self-conscious.
tristanhw
+0 -0
I opened this in firefox and the tab up the top said "Bill gates fan fiction" :(
I opened this in firefox and the tab up the top said "Bill gates fan fiction" :(
xiaomimi
+9 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: Finally Airborne!
Today's Blogs
Ray: Finally Airborne!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Ray has been in the airport for five weeks. He is "plussed" by the service.
Ray has been in the airport for five weeks. He is "plussed" by the service.
schmonday
+1 -0
It's so bad he can't even look at it, like a puppy pooping on the carpet.
"Don't do it fan-fiction, no! Bad paper! Bad! No...awww, it's finished. Now I got to clean up a mess."
It's so bad he can't even look at it, like a puppy pooping on the carpet.
"Don't do it fan-fiction, no! Bad paper! Bad! No...awww, it's finished. Now I got to clean up a mess."
Disgusted with how low he's fallen, Cornelius ends another empty novel.
Yeah, he seems somewhat disconsolate and lugubrious in this one...
It's no more shameful than writing the closed captioning for porn.
In theory, but at least he could console himself with knowing that the deaf are experiencing good quality pornographic narration.
Here, well...
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Woah, no need for everyone to get all irascible and splenetic...
I am anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctious to have caused you such periconbobulations.
I think I'm going to try reading Cornelius' lines in this voice from now on. I expect it to be only intermittently disappointing.
Yeah but the thing is that you didn't get the reference.
What you said was clever, to be sure, but it wasn't quite as "on the ball" as jack's comment.
>>You're losing your perspicacity.<<
Well, it's always in the last place you look.
Well.. once you've found it... there's no further need to look.
You've confused your perspicacity with your house keys.
And HEY, who stole the perspicacity???
As opposed to synonyms to a different word?
As opposed to synonyms to each other, I imagine. Is synonymity transitive?
If you assume it is, you can get to "walrus and apple are synonyms" without too much effort.
show me.
I don't think you thought that through. Saying "hey, if synonyms are transitive I can get walrus and apple to be synonyms kinda quick like" is like saying "hey, let's play Six Degrees of Cartilage Head without liquefying our brains in the process".
That is some insane Achewood reference powers you have there... INSANE! I'm takin those chubbies up to 13.