gregthepaladin
+12 -0
Lyle is one who needs to see it up front.
He will not be fooled again.
Lyle is one who needs to see it up front.
He will not be fooled again.
misterkoss
+0 -0
One should never trust freaks before they have had their coffee.
One should never trust freaks before they have had their coffee.
drskradley
+2 -0
Particularly when dildoing is involved.
Particularly when dildoing is involved.
terrainasaur
+0 -0
even when it is just three dollars.
even when it is just three dollars.
norrin
+0 -0
While there is no doubt that a freak is willing to put up the money, they are also obsessed enough to go beyond their means and try to scam some extra freakiness off you.
While there is no doubt that a freak is willing to put up the money, they are also obsessed enough to go beyond their means and try to scam some extra freakiness off you.
koodge
+0 -0
He's not scamming. He's just looking for a good deal.
He's not scamming. He's just looking for a good deal.
ttagxamm
+1 -0
Think he's excited now? Just wait till he gets a load of this: Coming Soon to the Perky Pervert: Therapy Blend Coffee Beans
Think he's excited now? Just wait till he gets a load of this: Coming Soon to the Perky Pervert: Therapy Blend Coffee Beans
jar
+0 -0
It's important that a coffee enema should be bird friendly.
It's important that a coffee enema should be bird friendly.
drskradley
+1 -0
There comes a time in someone's life when sometimes they think to themselves: "Do I want to shoot coffee up my ass? Yes, yes I do."
There comes a time in someone's life when sometimes they think to themselves: "Do I want to shoot coffee up my ass? Yes, yes I do."
zaratustra
+0 -0
Lyle does not do bulk discounts.
Lyle does not do bulk discounts.
jamers
+38 -0
Did anyone else read this guy's voice as a quavery falsetto? Because I sure did.
Did anyone else read this guy's voice as a quavery falsetto? Because I sure did.
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, mania3, sittered)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, mania3, sittered)
contrasoma
+4 -2
I imagined it being rather similar to the Yes Guy from The Simpsons (who is, in turn, rather similar to a character from the Jack Benny Show ).
I imagined it being rather similar to the Yes Guy from The Simpsons (who is, in turn, rather similar to a character from the Jack Benny Show ).
philosophe
+8 -1
a-yeeeeeeees?
a-yeeeeeeees?
jlynes
+4 -1
Why do you talk like that?
I had a STROOOOOOOKE.
Why do you talk like that?
I had a STROOOOOOOKE.
spinynorman
+0 -1
There's always Aaaaaarthur!
Man, that guy's hilarious.
There's always Aaaaaarthur!
Man, that guy's hilarious.
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
I've always heard a Liberace-style voice for Arthur.
I've always heard a Liberace-style voice for Arthur.
howard
+1 -0
I was getting more of a Deee-Lite vibe from the Oooh-LA-La-LA-la bit.
I was getting more of a Deee-Lite vibe from the Oooh-LA-La-LA-la bit.
pox
+0 -0
Glad to know I wasn't the only one.
Glad to know I wasn't the only one.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I thought exactly the same thing, but only when reading the "Ooh La LA la LA la LA" parts
I thought exactly the same thing, but only when reading the "Ooh La LA la LA la LA" parts
flash1087
+0 -0
I heard it in kind of a typical 'shut-in pervert voice' but I kinda prefer this. Of course, I also imagined Andrew Ryan from Bioshock to talk in the Yes Guy voice too, so...
I heard it in kind of a typical 'shut-in pervert voice' but I kinda prefer this. Of course, I also imagined Andrew Ryan from Bioshock to talk in the Yes Guy voice too, so...
chachibenji
+0 -0
"OBEYYYYYY"
NO thanks I dont want to ever think of anything in no Andrew Ryans voice. One experience was enough.
"OBEYYYYYY"
NO thanks I dont want to ever think of anything in no Andrew Ryans voice. One experience was enough.
intelligentblue
+0 -0
Definitely. The typical "creepy pervert" voice came to my mind instantly.
Definitely. The typical "creepy pervert" voice came to my mind instantly.
clever-nickname
+0 -0
You read my mind. That's exactly how i imagine his voice
You read my mind. That's exactly how i imagine his voice
neitherman
+0 -0
I'm hearing it as kind of a cross between Sylvester the cat and a Vienna choir boy.
I'm hearing it as kind of a cross between Sylvester the cat and a Vienna choir boy.
epicurus
+0 -0
I hear his voice as that of a somewhat effeminate scholarly type.
I hear his voice as that of a somewhat effeminate scholarly type.
spinynorman
+0 -0
Nothing sprouts a big ol exclamation mark like figuring out how to make quick cash from dildos.
Nolan's head is sort of shaped like Trent Lott's.
Nothing sprouts a big ol exclamation mark like figuring out how to make quick cash from dildos.
Nolan's head is sort of shaped like Trent Lott's.
philosophe
+12 -0
Are you sure? I think he looks just like Edgar Allan Poe
Are you sure? I think he looks just like Edgar Allan Poe
sittered
+9 -0
You are so good at spotting things, that if I saw you walking down the street, I would think hey, that guy is probably good at spotting things, such is his manner.
You are so good at spotting things, that if I saw you walking down the street, I would think hey, that guy is probably good at spotting things, such is his manner.
spinynorman
+29 -0
Then again, he and Lyle are pervert buddies of old. Nolan really digs Lyle's work. He may even be a fellow hole man.
Then again, he and Lyle are pervert buddies of old. Nolan really digs Lyle's work. He may even be a fellow hole man.
trollcollins
+0 -1
Oh man, talk about impressive archival skills. Nice .
Oh man, talk about impressive archival skills. Nice .
augeno13
+0 -1
Damn, nice catch!
Damn, nice catch!
rjt210
+0 -1
Damn, nice Herringway.
Damn, nice Herringway.
synnah
+3 -2
Nolan is also a fan of Pat's freeform musical stylings .
Spinynorman's was a better spot, though.
Nolan is also a fan of Pat's freeform musical stylings .
Spinynorman's was a better spot, though.
goosey
+0 -1
Why would you, albeit indirectly, respond to a link to a strip with a link to the same strip ?
Why would you, albeit indirectly, respond to a link to a strip with a link to the same strip ?
spinynorman
+0 -1
Nolan's stories have been hella linked in these comments.
Nolan's stories have been hella linked in these comments.
philosophe
+0 -0
A comment left by philosophe was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, Jesler729, sncether)
A comment left by philosophe was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, Jesler729, sncether)
philosophe
+1 -0
now, I'm not trying to be passive aggressive. I'm just saying it was spotted previously and posted before. I will agree that spinynorman's post had better presentation than my own and that is why I chubbied it.
now, I'm not trying to be passive aggressive. I'm just saying it was spotted previously and posted before. I will agree that spinynorman's post had better presentation than my own and that is why I chubbied it.
spinynorman
+1 -0
Yeah, I did notice that as soon as I posted it. I just hadn't read that far down in the thread yet.
Yeah, I did notice that as soon as I posted it. I just hadn't read that far down in the thread yet.
philosophe
+2 -2
All good, my friend. I see we've both viewed all 1334 strips to date! way to go! just 3 more...
All good, my friend. I see we've both viewed all 1334 strips to date! way to go! just 3 more...
flash1087
+0 -0
A comment left by flash1087 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, stop, pr0ncess)
A comment left by flash1087 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by phthoggos, stop, pr0ncess)
the_doz
+0 -0
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
snidedk
+2 -0
Is that the critic from when Pat was nice?
Is that the critic from when Pat was nice?
philosophe
+10 -0
Yes. He also enjoys frequenting erotic food vendors and we see this aspect of his personality continued in this strip.
Yes. He also enjoys frequenting erotic food vendors and we see this aspect of his personality continued in this strip.
mattfish
+0 -0
You are just so good at this
You are just so good at this
philosophe
+5 -0
Well shucks it's nothin I couldn't show a fella .
Well shucks it's nothin I couldn't show a fella .
mendenbar
+0 -0
Wow
Wow
philosophe
+1 -0
It's like seeing the man behind the Assetbar curtain. Disillusioning yet enlightening.
It's like seeing the man behind the Assetbar curtain. Disillusioning yet enlightening.
mcphercj
+5 -0
Smacks of Kerouac and Kierkegaard.
Smacks of Kerouac and Kierkegaard.
straw
+4 -0
Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said, "If you label me, you negate me"?
Was it Kierkegaard or Dick Van Patten who said, "If you label me, you negate me"?
andrew_
+2 -0
hell of wayne's world chubby for you.
hell of wayne's world chubby for you.
jorbert
+0 -0
i always assumed when you "dildo it" it meant putting it in the coffee - the fact that nolan, or N014N, as he is known on the Internet, needs to pay extra for this service is false advertising on the part of Lyle.
i always assumed when you "dildo it" it meant putting it in the coffee - the fact that nolan, or N014N, as he is known on the Internet, needs to pay extra for this service is false advertising on the part of Lyle.
biff
+2 -0
Not false advertising at all. When Lyle first mentions using the dildo to vibrate coffee, he says:
I could hold it against a cappuccino!
I did notice that many posters chose to interpret the dildo as going in the drink, but Lyle never said that. And the advertising doesn't say it either.
Not false advertising at all. When Lyle first mentions using the dildo to vibrate coffee, he says:
I could hold it against a cappuccino!
I did notice that many posters chose to interpret the dildo as going in the drink, but Lyle never said that. And the advertising doesn't say it either.
boscostacy
+3 -0
This has been a point of contention in my home since this whole Perky Pervert business began. I knew, of course, that Lyle intended to hold the dildo against the outside of the cup, while my loving girlfriend expected that he would insert the dildo fully into the microfoam.
This might have dire implications for our relationship.
This has been a point of contention in my home since this whole Perky Pervert business began. I knew, of course, that Lyle intended to hold the dildo against the outside of the cup, while my loving girlfriend expected that he would insert the dildo fully into the microfoam.
This might have dire implications for our relationship.
erinye
+12 -0
How will the foam be a leaf otherwise HOW WILL THAT WORK YOU KNOW I GOT NO SENSE OF DILDOS
(although maybe I should if this argument keeps up)
How will the foam be a leaf otherwise HOW WILL THAT WORK YOU KNOW I GOT NO SENSE OF DILDOS
(although maybe I should if this argument keeps up)
erinye
+0 -0
also: kisses!
also: kisses!
loneal
+3 -0
Oh jeez, that eye in your avatar is about to get slit open with a razor, isn't it? Give me the truth, I can handle it.
Oh jeez, that eye in your avatar is about to get slit open with a razor, isn't it? Give me the truth, I can handle it.
odei
+3 -0
It is not a live eye, it's all cool.
It is not a live eye, it's all cool.
jar
+0 -0
It's the eye that Beef is afraid of finding in his nachos.
It's the eye that Beef is afraid of finding in his nachos.
buttermoths
+1 -0
True. Knowing Beef's teenage musical tastes, I wouldn't be VERY surprised if he dreamed of growing up to be a debaser.
True. Knowing Beef's teenage musical tastes, I wouldn't be VERY surprised if he dreamed of growing up to be a debaser.
poing
+0 -0
A comment left by poing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, nighttoad, BoscoStacy, erinye)
A comment left by poing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, nighttoad, BoscoStacy, erinye)
nighttoad
+0 -0
no. the song "debaser" is by the pixies.
no. the song "debaser" is by the pixies.
poing
+0 -1
oh yes pardon my ignorance i guess i'm just not so great at figuring out all the latest hit alternative music
oh yes pardon my ignorance i guess i'm just not so great at figuring out all the latest hit alternative music
drskradley
+0 -0
If by "latest" you mean 1989/1997.
(I've never heard any of the Pixies either.)
(Except "Velouria" a few years ago, and I wasn't amazed like I was hoping to be given their rep. I think I was too young for when they came out.)
If by "latest" you mean 1989/1997.
(I've never heard any of the Pixies either.)
(Except "Velouria" a few years ago, and I wasn't amazed like I was hoping to be given their rep. I think I was too young for when they came out.)
juanclaudius
+1 -0
I have a feeling, based on geographic location and general demeanor, he was more of a Flipper/Thinking Fellers Union Local 282/Icky Boyfriends (on his smarmy days) type. But that's just because i'm a snob about weird music.
I have a feeling, based on geographic location and general demeanor, he was more of a Flipper/Thinking Fellers Union Local 282/Icky Boyfriends (on his smarmy days) type. But that's just because i'm a snob about weird music.
norrin
+0 -0
Virtual chubby, as I ran out long ago.
Virtual chubby, as I ran out long ago.
erinye
+0 -0
Well, hell, wouldn't you be?
Well, hell, wouldn't you be?
dicklaurent
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
gormster
+0 -1
what
what
dicklaurent
+0 -0
It's my reply to loneal's question about erinye's avatar.
It's my reply to loneal's question about erinye's avatar.
drskradley
+0 -0
You better go answering all the other "what's" in the same manner. You know, just to avoid confusion.
You better go answering all the other "what's" in the same manner. You know, just to avoid confusion.
dicklaurent
+0 -0
what
hehe
what
hehe
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, envika, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, envika, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, The_Prophet, DrSkradley, erinye)
zaratustra
+6 -0
SAY WHAT AGAIN! SAY WHAT AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER, I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU!
SAY WHAT AGAIN! SAY WHAT AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER, I DARE YOU! I DOUBLE DARE YOU!
bigby
+11 -2
Once again, Achewood provides the answer to a previously un-addressed issue of modern society:
Q: How does one spell out the distinctive noise of a dildo on a coffee cup?
A:DZZZZZZZZZT
Nine Z's. Not eight, not ten. Nine and nine alone will do.
Thank you, Achewood!
Once again, Achewood provides the answer to a previously un-addressed issue of modern society:
Q: How does one spell out the distinctive noise of a dildo on a coffee cup?
A:DZZZZZZZZZT
Nine Z's. Not eight, not ten. Nine and nine alone will do.
Thank you, Achewood!
anderian
+0 -0
the thing that worries me is that the noise is quite different when he puts it in the cup, which gives the disconcerting impression that onstad did field tests.
the thing that worries me is that the noise is quite different when he puts it in the cup, which gives the disconcerting impression that onstad did field tests.
odei
+0 -1
Or that the slight muting effect of sound waves travelling from liquid to air is something commonly known.
Shudder .
Or that the slight muting effect of sound waves travelling from liquid to air is something commonly known.
Shudder .
straw
+1 -0
That's what worries you about this strip?
That's what worries you about this strip?
rjt210
+1 -0
don't you mean:
DZZZZZT-
ZZZZT
don't you mean:
DZZZZZT-
ZZZZT
silentman
+0 -0
I like to imagine that it depends on the strength of said dildo. More horsepower should result in more Z's.
I like to imagine that it depends on the strength of said dildo. More horsepower should result in more Z's.
zedpower
+0 -0
...please don't mention horsepower when talking about dildos.
...please don't mention horsepower when talking about dildos.
onion_lightly
+12 -0
"DRRRRB" - by Chris Onstad
"An onomatopoeic tour de force!"
"DRRRRB" - by Chris Onstad
"An onomatopoeic tour de force!"
straw
+7 -0
I prefer onomatopoetic.
I prefer onomatopoetic.
mikeleffel2
+0 -0
A comment left by mikeleffel2 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, madnes, pmoney187, mortshire, _cheesekayke, mania3, automin, Download-This, SPECTRE)
A comment left by mikeleffel2 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, madnes, pmoney187, mortshire, _cheesekayke, mania3, automin, Download-This, SPECTRE)
wittyname
+10 -0
I have conflicted feelings on giving a suspected pedo a chubby.
I am sorry
I have conflicted feelings on giving a suspected pedo a chubby.
I am sorry
slab64
+2 -0
And his avatar makes it so much weirder.
And his avatar makes it so much weirder.
intelligentblue
+0 -0
oooh laLA!
oooh laLA!
professorhazard
+27 -0
"Ooh La La"?
"Ooh La La"?!
Marty McFly is so angry that Biff has switched the almanac from the future with a 1950s burlesque magazine.
"Ooh La La"?
"Ooh La La"?!
Marty McFly is so angry that Biff has switched the almanac from the future with a 1950s burlesque magazine.
sexualhomeboy
+3 -0
There simply aren't enough Back to the Future references in modern life. A chubby to you, sir, for helping to reverse that trend.
There simply aren't enough Back to the Future references in modern life. A chubby to you, sir, for helping to reverse that trend.
killerlimpet
+6 -0
This is especially hilarious, considering the coffee shop a couple blocks from where I live:
"Oooh La Latte."
This is especially hilarious, considering the coffee shop a couple blocks from where I live:
"Oooh La Latte."
varnish
+1 -0
The logo for the Perky Pervert coffee cup is quite understates. I'm sure that Lyle's clientele appreciate that. Well, except for Nolan here. He's long past caring if others know that he dildoes it.
The logo for the Perky Pervert coffee cup is quite understates. I'm sure that Lyle's clientele appreciate that. Well, except for Nolan here. He's long past caring if others know that he dildoes it.
jorbert
+2 -2
"is quite understates"? Is quite grammar?
"is quite understates"? Is quite grammar?
varnish
+4 -0
Technically, that's improper spelling, not improper grammar. Hey, s and d are pretty close on the keyboard. Even closer when you're drunk.
Technically, that's improper spelling, not improper grammar. Hey, s and d are pretty close on the keyboard. Even closer when you're drunk.
chuvak
+3 -0
Don't worry, drinking is quite fashionables.
Don't worry, drinking is quite fashionables.
drskradley
+5 -1
I never understood getting drunk and going on the internet. I'm just thinking "Dude, go hang out on the stoop or beat your children or something. Or go and father/mother children, and then beat them. Or go to sleep. Or call your ex - that's always a trip. But don't internets, for crap's sake."
This is what I think.
I never understood getting drunk and going on the internet. I'm just thinking "Dude, go hang out on the stoop or beat your children or something. Or go and father/mother children, and then beat them. Or go to sleep. Or call your ex - that's always a trip. But don't internets, for crap's sake."
This is what I think.
trollcollins
+1 -0
Once when I was drunk, I sent an email to a friend which consisted of only one sentence:
"I just walked home while mumblydrunks."
Drinking and internetting is way dangerous (soppy poorly-thought-out emails to exes) but there can be comedy rewards.
Once when I was drunk, I sent an email to a friend which consisted of only one sentence:
"I just walked home while mumblydrunks."
Drinking and internetting is way dangerous (soppy poorly-thought-out emails to exes) but there can be comedy rewards.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Hopefully, it's rarely someone's intention to get drunk and go on the internet. I do it occassionally, but it's not premeditated. It's normally something at the end of the night; I come home from a bar, check some hockey scores before going to bed, maybe check my email...hey, stupid argument on a mailing list, I'LL TELL THOSE MOTHERFUKRS WAHTS UP!@
I mean, I'm drunk: I'm probably not going to be making good decisions. It's what happens.
Hopefully, it's rarely someone's intention to get drunk and go on the internet. I do it occassionally, but it's not premeditated. It's normally something at the end of the night; I come home from a bar, check some hockey scores before going to bed, maybe check my email...hey, stupid argument on a mailing list, I'LL TELL THOSE MOTHERFUKRS WAHTS UP!@
I mean, I'm drunk: I'm probably not going to be making good decisions. It's what happens.
zaratustra
+5 -0
Man, when was the last time I went to the Internet? I'm craaaazy for that shit!
Man, when was the last time I went to the Internet? I'm craaaazy for that shit!
epicurus
+6 -0
Yah right, I invented some of my best insults while drunk on the internet. One time I came home drunk and apparently flamed someone on the Splinter Cell forums (we'd been playing Splinter Cell Co-op after coming home form the bar). I coined the term "menstrual clot", of which I am both proud and deeply ashamed.
Yah right, I invented some of my best insults while drunk on the internet. One time I came home drunk and apparently flamed someone on the Splinter Cell forums (we'd been playing Splinter Cell Co-op after coming home form the bar). I coined the term "menstrual clot", of which I am both proud and deeply ashamed.
drskradley
+0 -1
That is both abhorrent, admirable and astonishingly inventive at the same time. "Menstrual clot." Wow.
That is both abhorrent, admirable and astonishingly inventive at the same time. "Menstrual clot." Wow.
drskradley
+2 -1
Given that I said three things that it is, saying "both" is quite improper.
Given that I said three things that it is, saying "both" is quite improper.
epicurus
+1 -0
Did someone lame you for improperly using "both"? It's like Pat is real or something here.
Did someone lame you for improperly using "both"? It's like Pat is real or something here.
zaratustra
+2 -0
The correct term is 'troth'
The correct term is 'troth'
varnish
+2 -0
No, no, you're right. It's like: "Oh man, what the hell did I do last night?" "Oh, that's right. I went on the internet. Huh." It's not exactly the highest level of debauchery. I make mistakes.
No, no, you're right. It's like: "Oh man, what the hell did I do last night?" "Oh, that's right. I went on the internet. Huh." It's not exactly the highest level of debauchery. I make mistakes.
garlic_breath
+0 -0
I thought that everyone on the internet was drunk.
I thought that everyone on the internet was drunk.
spectre
+0 -0
Y'know, seems like EVERYTHING is closer when I'm drunk.
Y'know, seems like EVERYTHING is closer when I'm drunk.
ashoykh
+0 -0
chubby for that avatar
chubby for that avatar
qeramah
+6 -0
Nolan isn't paying for the coffee. He's paying for the experience of it. Like Mongolian Barbecue.
Nolan isn't paying for the coffee. He's paying for the experience of it. Like Mongolian Barbecue.
absurdist
+1 -0
I finally understand how America has a service economy.
I finally understand how America has a service economy.
retinarow
+0 -0
True. Getting coffee at the Perky Pervert is very similar to getting a habachi dinner at Benihana's.
True. Getting coffee at the Perky Pervert is very similar to getting a habachi dinner at Benihana's.
sexualhomeboy
+0 -0
Mongolian-American Barbecue: "Those Mongolians don't look very Asian... and why are they speaking Spanish?"
That is how America has a service economy.
Mongolian-American Barbecue: "Those Mongolians don't look very Asian... and why are they speaking Spanish?"
That is how America has a service economy.
soupkaty
+0 -0
hahahaha,
"Why, the Chinaman making my sushi appears to be a Cholo!"
(only slur for mexican that i loled at, altho more for remembering manic hispanic's "i want to be a cholo")
hahahaha,
"Why, the Chinaman making my sushi appears to be a Cholo!"
(only slur for mexican that i loled at, altho more for remembering manic hispanic's "i want to be a cholo")
funkywankerbean
+0 -0
I hope he doesn't get mouth herpes.
I hope he doesn't get mouth herpes.
themacktruck
+2 -0
But look how happy he is, a little canker sore is a small price to pay.
But look how happy he is, a little canker sore is a small price to pay.
buckster
+7 -0
Lyle understands that this sort of thing is all about location; the middle of nowhere is where all perverts congregate.
Lyle understands that this sort of thing is all about location; the middle of nowhere is where all perverts congregate.
philosophe
+0 -0
Good eye. That stand is way out in the boonies.
Good eye. That stand is way out in the boonies.
wittyname
+0 -1
Lyle made a lot of enemies during one of his many wild nights and is not allowed to own a business inside the city because of it.He had to migrate outside the city borders to establish his business.
Lyle made a lot of enemies during one of his many wild nights and is not allowed to own a business inside the city because of it.He had to migrate outside the city borders to establish his business.
spectre
+0 -0
Remember, he is legally An Asshole. He can't get a business permit.
Remember, he is legally An Asshole. He can't get a business permit.
ttagxamm
+1 -0
Judging from some of the crumbs I've worked for, if this were true it would cripple small business nationwide.
Judging from some of the crumbs I've worked for, if this were true it would cripple small business nationwide.
kelissamunz
+0 -0
I know for a fact that I am not the only person who thought Lyle was originally frothing the coffee with the dildo INSIDE the cup in the first place.
I know for a fact that I am not the only person who thought Lyle was originally frothing the coffee with the dildo INSIDE the cup in the first place.
jorbert
+0 -0
quite! see my comment above.
quite! see my comment above.
philosophe
+1 -0
I think we were all mistaken. However, it turns out that a service such as this is quite expensive.
I think we were all mistaken. However, it turns out that a service such as this is quite expensive.
geysershitdick
+1 -0
It would be so much cheaper to just buy your own dildo.
It would be so much cheaper to just buy your own dildo.
coldfrog
+4 -0
Nolan can never make it into the store. He just stands outside the window going "Oooohh la LA LA la!" until he faints.
Nolan can never make it into the store. He just stands outside the window going "Oooohh la LA LA la!" until he faints.
zem
+6 -0
I read that as "farts" at first
I read that as "farts" at first
professorhazard
+0 -0
Ooh, la la, la la la laa~!
Fast forward to roundabouts 4:35 and watch for the next thirty seconds to reveal an odd synchronicity.
And, you know, watch the rest of it because Domo-kun is extremely rad.
Ooh, la la, la la la laa~!
Fast forward to roundabouts 4:35 and watch for the next thirty seconds to reveal an odd synchronicity.
And, you know, watch the rest of it because Domo-kun is extremely rad.
harletron
+0 -0
Thank you for that link man, no idea, it all makes sense! Also that dance number at the end is so natural, it's like, what else would you do in the middle of a cheerleader squad when Xanadu plays?
Thank you for that link man, no idea, it all makes sense! Also that dance number at the end is so natural, it's like, what else would you do in the middle of a cheerleader squad when Xanadu plays?
biff
+0 -0
It doesn't create the same sensations to do it for yourself.
It doesn't create the same sensations to do it for yourself.
drskradley
+1 -0
Doin' it yourself ain't half as kinky. You know exactly where it's been - the danger, and thus the excitement, is gone.
Given that it's an independent coffee shop, the excitement is greater - it COULDA been somewhere nasty. They aren't as regulated by Health Inspectors, they could get away with it. When Lyle makes this into a chain, the allure of Dildoing It For A Dollar won't be there - because you can bet the zit-faced teenager behind the counter hasn't done anything funky with it.
And that, my friends, is why he'll only hire nymphos, porn stars, and junkies who'll do anything for a score.
Doin' it yourself ain't half as kinky. You know exactly where it's been - the danger, and thus the excitement, is gone.
Given that it's an independent coffee shop, the excitement is greater - it COULDA been somewhere nasty. They aren't as regulated by Health Inspectors, they could get away with it. When Lyle makes this into a chain, the allure of Dildoing It For A Dollar won't be there - because you can bet the zit-faced teenager behind the counter hasn't done anything funky with it.
And that, my friends, is why he'll only hire nymphos, porn stars, and junkies who'll do anything for a score.
cuneocapo
+0 -0
Lyle is about customer service; Man of the Year on Time magazine?
Lyle is about customer service; Man of the Year on Time magazine?
cailetshadow
+2 -0
Time: How would you describe your business model? What's the secret to your meteoric success?
Lyle: Aw, man, you just keep that dildo running. You dildo faster and harder than anyone else. And you never say no to a man who wants to dildo.
Time: How would you describe your business model? What's the secret to your meteoric success?
Lyle: Aw, man, you just keep that dildo running. You dildo faster and harder than anyone else. And you never say no to a man who wants to dildo.
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, madnes, HonestTom, Overmedicated, catgrl131, Xerol, Sargasm, Firehawk, thebarbarian, electra310, mendenbar, clintisiceman, Mastronaut, cuneocapo, nbray, Mirzabah, heeeraldo)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, madnes, HonestTom, Overmedicated, catgrl131, Xerol, Sargasm, Firehawk, thebarbarian, electra310, mendenbar, clintisiceman, Mastronaut, cuneocapo, nbray, Mirzabah, heeeraldo)
shoinan
+4 -1
Dude we are all bad, that's why this strip is so funny. Just dildo it, man.
Dude we are all bad, that's why this strip is so funny. Just dildo it, man.
envika
+0 -0
couldn't have said it better myself
couldn't have said it better myself
tbtabby
+6 -0
Nolan: The only character who's more uncomfortable to be around than Nice Pete.
Nolan: The only character who's more uncomfortable to be around than Nice Pete.
slab64
+0 -0
It Takes All Kinds, but It Does Not Take Nolan From The Internet
It Takes All Kinds, but It Does Not Take Nolan From The Internet
loneal
+4 -0
I have a little brother named Nolan. I wish I could show him this, but I don't want to have to explain dildos to him.
I have a little brother named Nolan. I wish I could show him this, but I don't want to have to explain dildos to him.
mendenbar
+9 -0
I have a little dildo named Nolan, I don't really need to explain anything to him, because he is an inanimate object.
I have a little dildo named Nolan, I don't really need to explain anything to him, because he is an inanimate object.
loneal
+2 -1
Sometimes my brother acts like a little dildo...
Sometimes my brother acts like a little dildo...
mendenbar
+6 -0
That is gross and wrong and probably painful for the recipient of your brother's dildoage, unless your brother is unusually small.
That is gross and wrong and probably painful for the recipient of your brother's dildoage, unless your brother is unusually small.
drskradley
+1 -0
I'd assume it'd still be painful for Nolan the Dildo-Child, even if he were as you say, "unusually small." There would be no way he'd survive the process, due to suffocation in varying liquids (depending on your preference for area of insertion). And what a way to go. Damn.
I'd assume it'd still be painful for Nolan the Dildo-Child, even if he were as you say, "unusually small." There would be no way he'd survive the process, due to suffocation in varying liquids (depending on your preference for area of insertion). And what a way to go. Damn.
mendenbar
+0 -0
There's only one way to find out...
There's only one way to find out...
peterjoel
+25 -0
I'll give you $50 if you stick your brother in my cappucino.
I'll give you $50 if you stick your brother in my cappucino.
mendenbar
+0 -0
If her brother makes the sound 'Drrrrb!' then we know hes a dildo!
If her brother makes the sound 'Drrrrb!' then we know hes a dildo!
retinarow
+2 -1
Sometimes my dildo acts like a little brother, so I know how you feel.
Sometimes my dildo acts like a little brother, so I know how you feel.
padijun
+1 -0
Nolan's posture really magnifies his creepiness
Nolan's posture really magnifies his creepiness
mastronaut
+3 -0
He holds his knees together, to conceal the RAGING ERECTION he got from just seeing the coffee stand.
He holds his knees together, to conceal the RAGING ERECTION he got from just seeing the coffee stand.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
His delight is infectious, and not a little disturbing.
His delight is infectious, and not a little disturbing.
songbirdspectre
+1 -0
Nolan from the internet. Good god.
Nolan from the internet. Good god.
this_is_a_thing
+1 -1
I assumed it was always in the coffee.
I assumed it was always in the coffee.
kvn
+1 -0
Jesus man, of all the names to have used :)
Jesus man, of all the names to have used :)
shoinan
+3 -1
Lyle's making a lot of dough. Dude better patent his product though, too soon you're gonna see Starbucks and McDonalds doing this - "McDildo it". Of course the more upmarket coffee places would be all "Do you want to olisbos your mocha?" (I got bored and looked up the etymology of dildo - good stuff).
Lyle's making a lot of dough. Dude better patent his product though, too soon you're gonna see Starbucks and McDonalds doing this - "McDildo it". Of course the more upmarket coffee places would be all "Do you want to olisbos your mocha?" (I got bored and looked up the etymology of dildo - good stuff).
cpnglxynchos
+3 -1
then an 'organic' fast food chain (should that not be a contradiction in terms) would come along and with their recent discovery of lolcat-style grammar would advertise that YOU CAN HAS COK in your coffee. (they have to keep things natural in there, y'know)
then an 'organic' fast food chain (should that not be a contradiction in terms) would come along and with their recent discovery of lolcat-style grammar would advertise that YOU CAN HAS COK in your coffee. (they have to keep things natural in there, y'know)
slab64
+0 -0
There's nothing natural about lolcats
There's nothing natural about lolcats
professorhazard
+3 -0
Next-to-last panel: insert Metal Gear Solid "you've been spotted" noise.
Next-to-last panel: insert Metal Gear Solid "you've been spotted" noise.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
ever since i played the Pizza Hut demo of that game have i always thought of that sound when seeing exclamation points over peoples' heads.
ever since i played the Pizza Hut demo of that game have i always thought of that sound when seeing exclamation points over peoples' heads.
skoora
+3 -0
This guy, man. This fucking guy!
This guy, man. This fucking guy!
rygarrett2
+1 -0
DRRRRB! how poignant
DRRRRB! how poignant
lamewad
+1 -0
You know, that's the exact sound a dildo makes when it enters the coffee.
You know, that's the exact sound a dildo makes when it enters the coffee.
steerpike66
+4 -0
This guy has the effete posture of a 19th opium-addicted invert. He puts the 'pince' in pince-nez. He looks like he's playing 'I'm a little teapot' backwards.
This guy has the effete posture of a 19th opium-addicted invert. He puts the 'pince' in pince-nez. He looks like he's playing 'I'm a little teapot' backwards.
steerpike66
+0 -1
https://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php
one for catholics
https://www.divine-interventions.com/baby.php
one for catholics
coldfuut
+0 -0
Those Divine things don't vibrate.
Those Divine things don't vibrate.
steerpike66
+1 -0
They should light up bright enough to be seen through your abdomen.
They should light up bright enough to be seen through your abdomen.
ishuta
+1 -0
lyle makes as little eye contact as possible
lyle makes as little eye contact as possible
johnnyc
+3 -0
I'm not sure how familiar you are with working in the fast food and kiosk industry.
I'm not sure how familiar you are with working in the fast food and kiosk industry.
norrin
+0 -0
The thing that most concerns me about this is that Lyle found this object, and therefore you have to assume it has been used. I would not drink that coffee for less than $250. And I would feel awful if I did it for less than $500.
But I also assume the fact that it is used is what gives Nolan the most "Ooh la La."
The thing that most concerns me about this is that Lyle found this object, and therefore you have to assume it has been used. I would not drink that coffee for less than $250. And I would feel awful if I did it for less than $500.
But I also assume the fact that it is used is what gives Nolan the most "Ooh la La."
professorhazard
+1 -1
I once found a dildo in my yard. True story. I couldn't bear to pick it up with anything less than two plastic bags, one inside the other.
I once found a dildo in my yard. True story. I couldn't bear to pick it up with anything less than two plastic bags, one inside the other.
biztsar
+0 -0
what shape does the foam present after being dildoed?
Perhaps a ripe cherry?
what shape does the foam present after being dildoed?
Perhaps a ripe cherry?
jpenpage
+2 -0
Rejected names: Rock Hard Cat Cock Coffee. Cafe Chub.
Rejected names: Rock Hard Cat Cock Coffee. Cafe Chub.
stevepants
+0 -0
A comment left by stevepants was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kbhoyt, Contrasoma, catgrl131, sncether)
A comment left by stevepants was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kbhoyt, Contrasoma, catgrl131, sncether)
zaratustra
+0 -0
Starbucks is totally missing on the erotic café experience.
Starbucks is totally missing on the erotic café experience.
niggar
+0 -0
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, envika, catgrl131, cailetshadow)
A comment left by niggar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by divot, envika, catgrl131, cailetshadow)
envika
+1 -1
THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON THAT SAYS THAT...I SWEAR TO GOD!!
THE NEXT FUCKING PERSON THAT SAYS THAT...I SWEAR TO GOD!!
niggar
+0 -1
You'll swear to God? Not much of a threat. Not much of anything, for that matter.
You'll swear to God? Not much of a threat. Not much of anything, for that matter.
joeyramoney
+0 -0
the unironic use of "ooh la la" as an expletive warrants a five.
the unironic use of "ooh la la" as an expletive warrants a five.
trollcollins
+2 -0
Espressosexual? Lyle's got standards. Full liquid penetration is gonna cost ya.
This is just another pebble in the mountain of evidence that anything can be a fetish . It's best not to investigate or think of it too much.
Espressosexual? Lyle's got standards. Full liquid penetration is gonna cost ya.
This is just another pebble in the mountain of evidence that anything can be a fetish . It's best not to investigate or think of it too much.
straw
+0 -0
Chubby for "espressosexual."
Chubby for "espressosexual."
ttagxamm
+5 -0
There's no X in Espresso...till now!
There's no X in Espresso...till now!
tropicana
+0 -0
Exxxpresso, anyone?
Exxxpresso, anyone?
morelaak
+4 -1
Rule #34 has broadened its horizons.
Rule #34 has broadened its horizons.
carrollhach
+0 -0
I'm impressed that Lyle got Perky Pervert listed on the internet so quickly. Wireless will be next. DZZZZZZZZZT.
I'm impressed that Lyle got Perky Pervert listed on the internet so quickly. Wireless will be next. DZZZZZZZZZT.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
A comment left by dasilodavi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AdrianMiller, divot, catgrl131, Slab64)
A comment left by dasilodavi was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by AdrianMiller, divot, catgrl131, Slab64)
prine
+0 -0
The backs of peoples' heads look really weird lately.
The backs of peoples' heads look really weird lately.
excusemesenator
+0 -0
Nolan! His name is Nolan! Nolan from the internet!
Nolan! His name is Nolan! Nolan from the internet!
sargasm
+7 -0
Nolan would be putting Lyle's kids through college, if Lyle was the type to have kids, support kids, or pay for college.
Nolan would be putting Lyle's kids through college, if Lyle was the type to have kids, support kids, or pay for college.
boscostacy
+1 -0
Now that I think about it, that coffee's gonna be hell of cold by the time Lyle finishes dildoing it fifty times. You just know Nolan's gonna drink it to finish off, and now he's got a cold cup; what kind of damn climax is that?
Next time, he better get a 180 fifty-dildoed double-shot cappuccino. That's got some staying power.
Now that I think about it, that coffee's gonna be hell of cold by the time Lyle finishes dildoing it fifty times. You just know Nolan's gonna drink it to finish off, and now he's got a cold cup; what kind of damn climax is that?
Next time, he better get a 180 fifty-dildoed double-shot cappuccino. That's got some staying power.
norrin
+3 -0
Judging by his reaction, the climax will come well before the drinking.
Judging by his reaction, the climax will come well before the drinking.
epicurus
+1 -0
Unremitting hilarity, a la Sartre.
Am I the only one surprised that Lyle has probably managed to break even so far?
Unremitting hilarity, a la Sartre.
Am I the only one surprised that Lyle has probably managed to break even so far?
lateadopter
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
agentj
+0 -0
This dude is a straight up Victorian pervert of the Olde School. Holla!
This dude is a straight up Victorian pervert of the Olde School. Holla!
lateadopter
+0 -0
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kbhoyt, pityparty, divot, catgrl131, anitrophaeron)
A comment left by lateadopter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by kbhoyt, pityparty, divot, catgrl131, anitrophaeron)
anitrophaeron
+0 -0
A comment left by anitrophaeron was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, lateadopter, DrSAd)
A comment left by anitrophaeron was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by silver_lake, lateadopter, DrSAd)
lateadopter
+0 -2
Whereas sack-hangers is intelligent.
Apparently you are not alone in hating my comment, but for the record, I did not mean it in the vernacular sense, a la Jaime Kennedy saying "Don't be hatin'!" Jaime Kennedy aspires to be the poor man's Pauly Shore. Anyway, it was just ill-chosen shorthand for those who express nothing but hate and contempt in their comments, e.g., "this strip sucks, a new low for Achewood, you people are all stupid." They never seem to like anything, and they yearn for a fallen Golden Age of Achewood, but it's unclear when that happened. I could have called them "almost-every-strip-since-the-Great-Outdoor-Fight-and-all-the-rest-of-us-sycophantic-know-nothings-haters," but that was too cumbersome. So fuck it, I went the stupid way.
Whereas sack-hangers is intelligent.
Apparently you are not alone in hating my comment, but for the record, I did not mean it in the vernacular sense, a la Jaime Kennedy saying "Don't be hatin'!" Jaime Kennedy aspires to be the poor man's Pauly Shore. Anyway, it was just ill-chosen shorthand for those who express nothing but hate and contempt in their comments, e.g., "this strip sucks, a new low for Achewood, you people are all stupid." They never seem to like anything, and they yearn for a fallen Golden Age of Achewood, but it's unclear when that happened. I could have called them "almost-every-strip-since-the-Great-Outdoor-Fight-and-all-the-rest-of-us-sycophantic-know-nothings-haters," but that was too cumbersome. So fuck it, I went the stupid way.
lateadopter
+0 -0
So, if you use a lot of hyphens, AssetBar will cut of your compound noun in the middle. I guess that proves that it was too cumbersome.
So, if you use a lot of hyphens, AssetBar will cut of your compound noun in the middle. I guess that proves that it was too cumbersome.
shades
+0 -0
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, AdrianMiller, catgrl131, NelSOnATeR, biztsar)
A comment left by shades was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ButterMoths, AdrianMiller, catgrl131, NelSOnATeR, biztsar)
bourbonsamurai
+2 -0
I was gonna be upset at you, because I like this comic, but then i thought about it, and realized I am a little bit dumb and bad.
Good point, Shades.
I was gonna be upset at you, because I like this comic, but then i thought about it, and realized I am a little bit dumb and bad.
Good point, Shades.
shades
+1 -2
yes you are bad and dumb and gay
yes you are bad and dumb and gay
slab64
+0 -0
You are dumb and a crappy guy.
You are dumb and a crappy guy.
boscostacy
+0 -0
Also, Lyle appears to have set his sights a bit too high, as he clearly is not making cappuccinos, but rather is dispensing coffee from an urn. With no foam, there is nothing to make a pleasing shape out of, and thus his only clientèle is perverts, as opposed to those merely seeking a unique crema/microfoam creation.
Also, Lyle appears to have set his sights a bit too high, as he clearly is not making cappuccinos, but rather is dispensing coffee from an urn. With no foam, there is nothing to make a pleasing shape out of, and thus his only clientèle is perverts, as opposed to those merely seeking a unique crema/microfoam creation.
noah_j
+6 -0
this dude is from... different circumstances.
this dude is from... different circumstances.
geekbonchic
+1 -0
He is a man of particular means and demands things in particular ways. You know what they say about folks and their strokes.
He is a man of particular means and demands things in particular ways. You know what they say about folks and their strokes.
biff
+1 -0
You know what they say about folks and their strokes.
So on and so on and doobie doobie doobie?
You know what they say about folks and their strokes.
So on and so on and doobie doobie doobie?
samodrei
+0 -0
Putting it in the coffee raises both hands.
Also, that is what I pictured when I first read "Dildo It."
Putting it in the coffee raises both hands.
Also, that is what I pictured when I first read "Dildo It."
ashoykh
+0 -0
it makes me happy that there is a 'discuss' button at the bottom of this cartoon. ofcourse, the only thing to do after reading this is to smile to yourself and shake your head knowingly.
it makes me happy that there is a 'discuss' button at the bottom of this cartoon. ofcourse, the only thing to do after reading this is to smile to yourself and shake your head knowingly.
envika
+1 -0
lyle's committing hella violations!
lyle's committing hella violations!
seanbad
+0 -0
Mr. Yuck is green.
Mr. Yuck is green.
footslogga
+1 -0
wait... is that bit of hair on the left a part of his head that hasnt been fully connected? or is that an entirely separate 'entity'?
if it's the latter, that FUCKING pervert.
wait... is that bit of hair on the left a part of his head that hasnt been fully connected? or is that an entirely separate 'entity'?
if it's the latter, that FUCKING pervert.
dr_sexlove
+8 -1
Dogg! Do not play with that weird-looking Nintendo! Lyle! I- Do NOT dip that Nintendo into the coffee! You gonna RUIN that Nintendo!
Dogg! Do not play with that weird-looking Nintendo! Lyle! I- Do NOT dip that Nintendo into the coffee! You gonna RUIN that Nintendo!
slab64
+2 -0
Next on the menu: "Merkin it! $3"
Next on the menu: "Merkin it! $3"
epicurus
+1 -1
Wait a minute, why did Nolan ask for forty seven initially if he could afford fifty... did he predict that 47 would be the optimal number to satisfy him, but it turned out he underestimated the depth of his depravity?
Wait a minute, why did Nolan ask for forty seven initially if he could afford fifty... did he predict that 47 would be the optimal number to satisfy him, but it turned out he underestimated the depth of his depravity?
slickshoes3234
+0 -2
correct
correct
hollybones
+12 -0
Because the coffee is $3 and $47 more makes it an even $50.
Because the coffee is $3 and $47 more makes it an even $50.
epicurus
+0 -0
niiiice catch.
niiiice catch.
sagoon
+0 -0
where... where are they?
where... where are they?
boscostacy
+0 -0
Man, Nolan don't even come out with what he wants up front. He doesn't say "dildo it," he "takes advantage of the upgrade." He's so used to getting his kink on from The Internet (where he is from), that the presence of one other dude freaks him out, all trying to be discreet, even in the middle of nowhere, where the only dude who may be fooled knows full well he's about to stick a dildo in Nolan's coffee.
Maybe if his last foray out of The Internet into real-world kink hadn't ended with Ray cussing out Lyle, Nolan might not be such a shut-in today.
Man, Nolan don't even come out with what he wants up front. He doesn't say "dildo it," he "takes advantage of the upgrade." He's so used to getting his kink on from The Internet (where he is from), that the presence of one other dude freaks him out, all trying to be discreet, even in the middle of nowhere, where the only dude who may be fooled knows full well he's about to stick a dildo in Nolan's coffee.
Maybe if his last foray out of The Internet into real-world kink hadn't ended with Ray cussing out Lyle, Nolan might not be such a shut-in today.
qingofchina
+0 -0
No Lyle actually set this stand up in the middle of times square. Nolan is fooling EVERYONE!
No Lyle actually set this stand up in the middle of times square. Nolan is fooling EVERYONE!
biggestblackest
+0 -0
Welcome, Nolan.
Welcome, Nolan.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Oh NoLan!
Oh NoLan!
silentman
+3 -0
I'll have a thick Vibratto, extra cream.
I'll have a thick Vibratto, extra cream.
asinineuser
+0 -0
Totally irrelevant:
It's come to the point where I can no longer decipher LN's blog.
Totally irrelevant:
It's come to the point where I can no longer decipher LN's blog.
slab64
+0 -0
You might need to smoke more weed.
You might need to smoke more weed.
ttagxamm
+4 -0
Translated:
"Yo yo so sheck it an deck it!"
What's up (idiosyncratic slang)
"Pitty pie driva' ol' jobba @ Colonel Luigi's dip-dived when tha place went outta business (Col L stone diggz on coke-kayyne lately, hell of opened a jizzoint in Bevmo Hillz an lost it like all threah of he'z jizzointz) so I wuz sittin' on some grandz wonderin' what up Nexxtel."
I lost my job delivering Colonel Luigi's pizza when theywent out of business (Colonel Luigi is doing a lot of cocaine lately; he opened a location in Beverly Hills and lost it and all three others), so I was wondering what to do with the extra time (or money?).
"Cold fresh start of a new hiphop Qrew, doh."
I decided to start a new hip-hop group, of course
"Ladies an gentlemenzz, R U reddy for: K.L.I.T.Z. - B - R.E.D.D.Y.?
"Stone bisqkit but let me cite why we R thaa rulez of order: we R tha first hip hop act 2 end in a queztion mark, 'N' plus tambien tha first hip hop act 2 ask a ? to a clit directly in tha naaaayme"
Hell yeah, let me explain why we are the best: We are the first hip-hop group to end in a question mark, and, and, AND the first hip-hop group to ask a question to a clitoris by name.
"future iz de oro SO c u l8r lonely fat jane wit da linger finger"
The future is golden, so see you later fat-ass jerk-off bitches or The future is golden, so see you later lonely big-butt honeys (I read this as either a mocking flip of the verbal bird or a sexual promise to corpulent and unsated women).
Translated:
"Yo yo so sheck it an deck it!"
What's up (idiosyncratic slang)
"Pitty pie driva' ol' jobba @ Colonel Luigi's dip-dived when tha place went outta business (Col L stone diggz on coke-kayyne lately, hell of opened a jizzoint in Bevmo Hillz an lost it like all threah of he'z jizzointz) so I wuz sittin' on some grandz wonderin' what up Nexxtel."
I lost my job delivering Colonel Luigi's pizza when theywent out of business (Colonel Luigi is doing a lot of cocaine lately; he opened a location in Beverly Hills and lost it and all three others), so I was wondering what to do with the extra time (or money?).
"Cold fresh start of a new hiphop Qrew, doh."
I decided to start a new hip-hop group, of course
"Ladies an gentlemenzz, R U reddy for: K.L.I.T.Z. - B - R.E.D.D.Y.?
"Stone bisqkit but let me cite why we R thaa rulez of order: we R tha first hip hop act 2 end in a queztion mark, 'N' plus tambien tha first hip hop act 2 ask a ? to a clit directly in tha naaaayme"
Hell yeah, let me explain why we are the best: We are the first hip-hop group to end in a question mark, and, and, AND the first hip-hop group to ask a question to a clitoris by name.
"future iz de oro SO c u l8r lonely fat jane wit da linger finger"
The future is golden, so see you later fat-ass jerk-off bitches or The future is golden, so see you later lonely big-butt honeys (I read this as either a mocking flip of the verbal bird or a sexual promise to corpulent and unsated women).
ttagxamm
+1 -0
Reading previous LN blogs it's clear that "sittin' on some grandz" refers to the money he made delivering pizzas, and his tips unreported and therefore untaxed.
His blog is great. He's a little rich-boy gangsta Jaimez Joyce, all Finnagain 2 tha wick wack Wake, yo.
Reading previous LN blogs it's clear that "sittin' on some grandz" refers to the money he made delivering pizzas, and his tips unreported and therefore untaxed.
His blog is great. He's a little rich-boy gangsta Jaimez Joyce, all Finnagain 2 tha wick wack Wake, yo.
fosters
+0 -0
This is a goddamned necessary service you are providing here. LN and Lyle both need blog translators.
This is a goddamned necessary service you are providing here. LN and Lyle both need blog translators.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
blogulators
blogulators
senatorexlax
+1 -0
I just read through all of achewood chronologically for the first time. I hit "next" and nothing happened so I was confused. I realized I have read them all!
I just read through all of achewood chronologically for the first time. I hit "next" and nothing happened so I was confused. I realized I have read them all!
spinynorman
+2 -2
Gratz, you just dinged
Gratz, you just dinged
morelaak
+1 -0
you, sir, get a chubby for referencing MMORPGs in the outside world.
You, sir, get a lame for referencing MMORPGs in the outside world.
you, sir, get a chubby for referencing MMORPGs in the outside world.
You, sir, get a lame for referencing MMORPGs in the outside world.
spinynorman
+0 -0
I've already given out too many chubbies to chubby you for that combo. :(
I've already given out too many chubbies to chubby you for that combo. :(
bigtom
+0 -2
one of my favorite strips, hands down
one of my favorite strips, hands down
biff
+0 -0
Hands down, didloes up?
Hands down, didloes up?
biff
+0 -0
dildoes even
dildoes even
bigtom
+0 -0
everyone loves dildoes!
everyone loves dildoes!
boscostacy
+4 -1
What would it take for us to convince Assetbar to change the Chubby rating to "Dildo It!"?
What would it take for us to convince Assetbar to change the Chubby rating to "Dildo It!"?
morelaak
+0 -0
we'd probably have to dildo their coffee for free for life.
we'd probably have to dildo their coffee for free for life.
niggar
+1 -1
I was under the impression that dildoing the coffee meant sticking it in the coffee to begin with.
It doesn't take much perversion or imagination to hold a vibrating dildo against the outside of a styrofoam coffee cup. My grandmother might be doing that. Hell, she probably is .
I was under the impression that dildoing the coffee meant sticking it in the coffee to begin with.
It doesn't take much perversion or imagination to hold a vibrating dildo against the outside of a styrofoam coffee cup. My grandmother might be doing that. Hell, she probably is .
anitrophaeron
+0 -0
A comment left by anitrophaeron was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by morelaak, DrSkradley, Wulvaine)
A comment left by anitrophaeron was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by morelaak, DrSkradley, Wulvaine)
ashoykh
+0 -0
that's peter cropes' cousin
that's peter cropes' cousin
ashoykh
+2 -0
i found Nolan! https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuaQFFVNz
i found Nolan! https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuaQFFVNz
kikimilks
+1 -0
haha that is rockstarish on your part. a dude of art indeed!
haha that is rockstarish on your part. a dude of art indeed!
ashoykh
+0 -0
a chubby for chubbying me
a chubby for chubbying me
sonicbiology
+0 -0
Coupled with Garfield's unexpected cameo yesterday, I would say this pair of strips is a study of those in Achewood who, as Cornelius puts it, scrum at first light .
Coupled with Garfield's unexpected cameo yesterday, I would say this pair of strips is a study of those in Achewood who, as Cornelius puts it, scrum at first light .
kharitonov
+0 -0
This was my first Achewood.
Probably says a lot about me.
This was my first Achewood.
Probably says a lot about me.
hawaiian_robot
+0 -0
Nolan, you sick freak.
Nolan, you sick freak.
buttermoths
+0 -0
Has anyone here seen the League Of Gentlemen season 3 episode, "Beauty and The Beast (Or: Come Into My Parlour!)"? I imagine Nolan talks just like that old dude who gets jerked off first..."Ooooh YES! That's the t-ticket!"
Has anyone here seen the League Of Gentlemen season 3 episode, "Beauty and The Beast (Or: Come Into My Parlour!)"? I imagine Nolan talks just like that old dude who gets jerked off first..."Ooooh YES! That's the t-ticket!"
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Cappuchino is Nolan from the ineternet's hot hot sex.
Cappuchino is Nolan from the ineternet's hot hot sex.
willmmmm
+0 -0
I jut noticed this: Nolan is one of the music critics from Pat's concert.
I jut noticed this: Nolan is one of the music critics from Pat's concert.
philophobe
+0 -0
Lyle's dildo sounds a bit too much like a bug zapper.
Lyle's dildo sounds a bit too much like a bug zapper.
jaminspoon
+0 -0
I realize this is 3 months post-due, but is your avatar a uterus: Y/N?
I realize this is 3 months post-due, but is your avatar a uterus: Y/N?
philophobe
+0 -0
N: https://metal-archives.com/release.php?id=861
But thanks for playing. This doesn't quite work, given that I already know the image, but if I sort of squint at it, it looks a bit like a raccoon being squeezed in a vice.
(Please don't be from PETA)
N: https://metal-archives.com/release.php?id=861
But thanks for playing. This doesn't quite work, given that I already know the image, but if I sort of squint at it, it looks a bit like a raccoon being squeezed in a vice.
(Please don't be from PETA)
this is a dude of means
The joke used to go, "Cocaine is God's way of telling you you have too much money."
I think we have a new winner.
coffee is so damn expensive nowadays.
A comment left by jesler729 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Sweetlips, ConnorMc, perhapsmaybe)
Man I look and I see I lamed this but I don't know why or when, I just read this comment and snortled, which is like a snort chortle deal... so whatever made me lame you I apologize, it was hella wrong of me
Perhaps it was the typo?
Under the dildoed cofee the two pandas met
One in a tree, one on the road
They spoke of dildoes and chubbies
of java a snortles
apology and forgiveness
one fell asleep and the other drove away
Neat.
A comment left by pox was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, kenthegod, unquotable, DerSquirrel, beerio)
up yours Garfield
Garfield is the Ctrl Alt Del of syndicated comics.
I am actually curious whether someone lamed this because they thought it was unfunny or because they like the comic in question?
I think it is someone who likes Ctrl Alt Del, which is- let's be honest- silly of them. It is silly to like that webcomic.
Cocaine has also reached a pretty unreasonable rate. I mean, c'mon!
I read some article where a porn mogul observed that "no matter how tight money gets, there's always enough for porn."
But then, he probably had a vested interest.
No, it's just a fact. Not quite as true as it is for alcohol, but pretty true.
this was pre-internet right
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, JenH, katal, Rayonatoilet, miche, Paco, hoboninja, dasilodavi, anewcede, Fcannon, Wolfslice, Madoushi)
I'm extra scared of a place that says " Big Sex Toy Store." The idea gives me the jibblies.
Oh fuck, "Mr Ed Horse Cock"??????
A comment left by miku224 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by zulko, dracer2, cjfoster)
I apparently chubbied Manflesh's post. No idea why.
I'm sure there was something there I liked.
My guess is The Ream and Scream Buttplug
sure it wasn't the XX double wide gigadong? I don't care how lowly one might think the dildo designer, that is a brilliant name.
Gigadong sounds like something the Power Rangers fought.
Please Doctor... you're my hero.
Please don't turn into Retardo.
Are you kidding me? Has there ever been a time when he WASN'T desiring anal play immediately?
This is not a revelation.
Immediately. Not later, now.
Hey, the Manflesh I know isn't limited to bumfun. Stuffed tigers, Borg scat... He was a master of many trades, most not endorsed by the general public.
There's no limitation in sexual deviance here. He'll be up for anything at some point, but his meter for rectal fingering is always kickin' it to the fuckin' redline.
I get the distinct feeling that he's watching us right now, like the deity-esque omnipresence he truly is. And laughing his arse off at us.
Horatio knows your innermost desires.
eeeeewwwww
It's kind of like that with this forum and Onstad. We look upon his creation in wonder, we aren't sure if he's watching us, and sometimes address him though we cannot know if he is listening. sometimes we make suggestions about his creation but we can only look at things that occur later and wonder if we influenced them and usually guess "probably not". and on rare occasion when he does speak to us it is usually a short and practical message that everyone rushes to respond to hoping something more will come of it, but it never does and we are left wondering. And then you have asherdan, hes like billy ghram, he reinterprets his meanings to us confidently but poorly, and he claims to know Onstad better than any of us, but won't explain how and its pretty clear that he really just wants attention.
I am in awe at this. Thank you.
Nolan is from the Internet and he is being commented upon by people also From The Internet.
The rate of moral and sexual degeneration is exponential. People are going to start peeing in each other's hollow eye sockets any second now.
Hey Spiny, I just saw Dinsdale Piranha heading for the loo. Thought you should know.
Stuffed tigers
So he's into Lyle? Hey, can't blame the man.
Hobbes, actually. More the quiet, philosophical type.
To clarify: One of his comments involved Calvin and Hobbes.
It would probably have been a better idea to let the previous comment hang, but there it is.
No, gentlemen. This is not a revelation.
This is nothing short of a revolution .
A comment left by straw was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Afkpuz, Audhumla, JoeStork)
Note: We do not endorse actual sex with animals, however if you're into huge cocks then you can't go wrong with a product such as this one.
Actual quote... thanks for sharing that, Doc.
I like the fact that, if a random person had logged on and posted this, this post would be marked as spam, and rightly so. But since DrManflesh posted it, it is regarded as disgusting/lame to some, and some sort of post modern art by.
Again, rightly so.
Add the word "others" to the second to last sentence.
Being an asshole, I choose to add it in between the words "some" and "sort".
what to do?
lame you for cold putting fetish porn links on a commentboard?
chubby you for not giving a shit?
...or just follow the links?
oh that third option definitely
He's like the character Martin Scorsese plays in Taxi Driver except he's a cat who likes sex toys all up in his java.
he is also a dude of art https://m.assetbar.com/achewood/uuaQFFVNz