catachresis
+63 -0
THESE KNIVES
THESE KNIVES
abe
+21 -2
THESE KNIVES!!!
THESE KNIVES!!!
jaiden
+0 -0
A comment left by jaiden was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moraiat, jollysaintpete, lovelibeam, Darthemed)
A comment left by jaiden was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Moraiat, jollysaintpete, lovelibeam, Darthemed)
pohlhoud
+8 -2
THESE... err.... KNIVES!!!!
THESE... err.... KNIVES!!!!
factorial
+9 -1
THESE KNIVES!!!!!!
THESE KNIVES!!!!!!
stuart
+4 -2
THESE KNIVES?
THESE KNIVES?
jar
+6 -1
THESE KNIVES!!!
THESE KNIVES!!!
plummet
+12 -1
THESE KNIVES!
THESE KNIVES!
hikikomori
+0 -0
A comment left by hikikomori was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, Rainwolfj, lovelibeam)
A comment left by hikikomori was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, Rainwolfj, lovelibeam)
farqussus
+6 -2
Oooh, these knives!
Oooh, these knives!
deusoma
+0 -0
A comment left by deusoma was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, novacaine, Doc_Rostov, lovelibeam)
A comment left by deusoma was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, novacaine, Doc_Rostov, lovelibeam)
gormster
+0 -0
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, novacaine, Doc_Rostov, lovelibeam)
A comment left by gormster was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, novacaine, Doc_Rostov, lovelibeam)
kledermans
+0 -0
A comment left by kledermans was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, novacaine, Doc_Rostov, lovelibeam)
A comment left by kledermans was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by GSurge, novacaine, Doc_Rostov, lovelibeam)
rowboat
+25 -1
I like watching the chubbies erode as the "THESE KNIVES" avalanche turns from mildly amusing to wildly agonizing.
I like watching the chubbies erode as the "THESE KNIVES" avalanche turns from mildly amusing to wildly agonizing.
mirzabah
+0 -0
A comment left by mirzabah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Ariamaki, willt, ravindra108, lovelibeam, Appers, Archon_Divinus)
A comment left by mirzabah was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Ariamaki, willt, ravindra108, lovelibeam, Appers, Archon_Divinus)
abe
+1 -1
That part of the thread is what I will coin a "Chubby Farm"
That part of the thread is what I will coin a "Chubby Farm"
dorothypoopbot
+11 -1
THOSE KNIVES?
THOSE KNIVES?
jollysaintpete
+1 -0
thank you
thank you
peng33
+1 -1
WHOSE KNIVES?
MY KNIVES?
WHOSE KNIVES?
MY KNIVES?
tollschaft
+0 -0
Because of your avatar i imagined Philippe saying that
Because of your avatar i imagined Philippe saying that
tragicone
+3 -1
THESE KNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
THESE KNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
THESE KNIVES!
THESE KNIVES!
ariamaki
+7 -0
THIS BASAL NERVOUS SYSTEM!
THIS BASAL NERVOUS SYSTEM!
overmedicated
+4 -1
THAT ONION, MAN!
THAT ONION, MAN!
aperson
+43 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
homepie
+0 -0
A comment left by homepie was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, Deusoma, goocifer, odaya, lovelibeam, morbo)
A comment left by homepie was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Overmedicated, Deusoma, goocifer, odaya, lovelibeam, morbo)
killerlimpet
+31 -1
Those knaves!
Those knaves!
jeet
+0 -0
A comment left by jeet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MrMojoRisin, 21echoes, fakead, Skodra, lovelibeam)
A comment left by jeet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MrMojoRisin, 21echoes, fakead, Skodra, lovelibeam)
gmm
+0 -0
Killerlimpet stole my joke!
Killerlimpet stole my joke!
theyang
+1 -0
Now that I have been apprenticing as a professional wood worker, an insight: it's easy to PRODUCE a sharp edge on any knife, but it is a truly good knife that HOLDS that sharp edge for long amount of time. Most knives need to be thrown (away) like your shaving razors.
Now that I have been apprenticing as a professional wood worker, an insight: it's easy to PRODUCE a sharp edge on any knife, but it is a truly good knife that HOLDS that sharp edge for long amount of time. Most knives need to be thrown (away) like your shaving razors.
theyang
+0 -0
- because they are so soft, they are not worth hand-sharpening them each day
- because they are so soft, they are not worth hand-sharpening them each day
farqussus
+2 -0
you're not worth hand sharpening each day
you're not worth hand sharpening each day
theyang
+2 -0
ah yeah baby, Tuesday night`s the night that we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love.
ah yeah baby, Tuesday night`s the night that we go and visit your mother, but Wednesday night is the night that we make love.
origotoshi
+0 -0
Chubbied for Flight of the Conchords reference, despite it having no relevance...
Chubbied for Flight of the Conchords reference, despite it having no relevance...
lawbot
+2 -2
THESE KNIVES!!
THESE KNIVES!!
laserblade
+11 -0
These knives have seena lotta love but they're never gonna see the kinda love that they had from you!
These knives have seena lotta love but they're never gonna see the kinda love that they had from you!
ih8jonmayr
+0 -1
THOSE KNIVES!!!
THOSE KNIVES!!!
coridoroiy
+1 -0
BASAL NERVOUS SYSTEM!
BASAL NERVOUS SYSTEM!
hipjiverobot
+1 -2
Why people have continued to give chubbies to all commenters makes little sense to me.
Why people have continued to give chubbies to all commenters makes little sense to me.
gekimo
+1 -1
THESE KNIVES ... BUMP
THESE KNIVES ... BUMP
farqussus
+0 -0
Sorry, there is no bumping here. Welcome to assbar.
Sorry, there is no bumping here. Welcome to assbar.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -1
WHICH KNIVES???
WHICH KNIVES???
soticoto
+0 -0
It FELL through that onion, man!
It FELL through that onion, man!
dropkickpikachu
+64 -0
Congratulations, you fuckers have used it enough now that I'm entirely unconvinced that "these" is a real word. Just look at it. That ain't no word.
Congratulations, you fuckers have used it enough now that I'm entirely unconvinced that "these" is a real word. Just look at it. That ain't no word.
jar
+12 -0
Yeah, now it looks more like the name of an ancient Greek city than a word from the English language.
Yeah, now it looks more like the name of an ancient Greek city than a word from the English language.
phthoggos
+0 -1
https://www.septuagint.org/s.cgi?w=qhsh
https://www.septuagint.org/s.cgi?w=qhsh
howl
+3 -0
you're thinking of Thebes
you're thinking of Thebes
jar
+18 -0
THEBES KNIVES!!!
THEBES KNIVES!!!
gunsofray
+9 -0
Welcome to These, a city famous for its knives.
Welcome to These, a city famous for its knives.
quazifuji
+0 -0
I was just ready this comment chain for the first time and had the exact same feeling. I kept thinking there were typos in perfectly correct posts just because "THESE" (and, to a lesser extent, "KNIVES") looks so awkward written out in all caps.
I was just ready this comment chain for the first time and had the exact same feeling. I kept thinking there were typos in perfectly correct posts just because "THESE" (and, to a lesser extent, "KNIVES") looks so awkward written out in all caps.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
COMPLETELY RIGHT.
oops. still had caps on.
COMPLETELY RIGHT.
oops. still had caps on.
atilla
+1 -0
I was having more trouble with knives. It's hardly natural to begin with.
I was having more trouble with knives. It's hardly natural to begin with.
delzhand
+5 -0
KNESE THIVES!
KNESE THIVES!
deus
+1 -0
ALL THE KNIVES IN THAT IM POINTING AT HERE!
ALL THE KNIVES IN THAT IM POINTING AT HERE!
cousinted
+0 -0
A comment left by cousinted was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MrMojoRisin, Homepie, GSurge, slalvation)
A comment left by cousinted was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MrMojoRisin, Homepie, GSurge, slalvation)
cousinted
+31 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+3 -0
Which knives?
Which knives?
cousinted
+1 -0
I don't know, why're you asking us?
I don't know, why're you asking us?
baryonyx
+1 -2
THESE KNIVES!
THESE KNIVES!
epicurus
+8 -0
I refuse to post a reply to this.
FUCK
I refuse to post a reply to this.
FUCK
drskradley
+1 -0
Holy crap they work!
Holy crap they work!
baryonyx
+1 -0
Accouterments no zombie survival kit should be without.
Accouterments no zombie survival kit should be without.
bjorntd
+2 -1
I think my heart's explodin'!
No seriously call --------sadjnv3...................
I think my heart's explodin'!
No seriously call --------sadjnv3...................
stuart
+10 -0
What takes up over a page and a half of my fucking inbox because of a post I made nearly a year ago?
THESE POSTS!
What takes up over a page and a half of my fucking inbox because of a post I made nearly a year ago?
THESE POSTS!
gunsofray
+0 -1
These... These knives?
These... These knives?
amul
+1 -1
A 50-YEAR guarantee, dude!
A 50-YEAR guarantee, dude!
plummet
+0 -0
THIS MAN IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU , ASSETBAR! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!
THIS MAN IS DEAD BECAUSE OF YOU , ASSETBAR! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY!
kamet
+8 -1
My brother died because of an over-full inbox. Not funny, not cool, not a good asset.
My brother died because of an over-full inbox. Not funny, not cool, not a good asset.
shoinan
+0 -0
You all officially rock.
You all officially rock.
puguglypress
+1 -0
So do...
So do...
foetus_punch
+4 -0
SOME KNIVES!
No, wait, I think I fucked that up.
SOME KNIVES!
No, wait, I think I fucked that up.
puguglypress
+1 -0
(sigh) Okay. You wouldn't fuck things up if you had...
(sigh) Okay. You wouldn't fuck things up if you had...
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
an onion to cut, using...
an onion to cut, using...
puguglypress
+2 -0
a set of cutlery of some kind, perhaps...
a set of cutlery of some kind, perhaps...
mockereo
+1 -0
backed up by a 50 year guarantee, maybe...
backed up by a 50 year guarantee, maybe...
puguglypress
+1 -0
you still have doubts, but I guarantee that you'll change your mind when you see all the amazing things that can be done with...
you still have doubts, but I guarantee that you'll change your mind when you see all the amazing things that can be done with...
foetus_punch
+2 -0
CRAP.
DAMMIT.
KNIVES.
CRAP.
DAMMIT.
KNIVES.
dtuba
+0 -0
I am right now, imagining the Clash singing a song that contain these words as lyrics. THESE WORDS!
I am right now, imagining the Clash singing a song that contain these words as lyrics. THESE WORDS!
puguglypress
+0 -0
What's the song about?
What's the song about?
puguglypress
+0 -0
Really, I'm genuinely curious. I'm done with this whole stupid meme. I actually just want to know what the song is about without everything turning into an excuse to bring up...
Really, I'm genuinely curious. I'm done with this whole stupid meme. I actually just want to know what the song is about without everything turning into an excuse to bring up...
dtuba
+1 -0
London.
London.
mockereo
+0 -0
...
...
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais contains the lyrics "charging from the bass knives to the treble".
BASS KNIVES!
(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais contains the lyrics "charging from the bass knives to the treble".
BASS KNIVES!
dtuba
+1 -0
Bass knives...to cut thick bass steaks?
Bass knives...to cut thick bass steaks?
thesoulbear
+2 -2
THESE KNIVES!!!!
THESE KNIVES!!!!
jonmw
+0 -0
I think you missed the boat there, champ!
I think you missed the boat there, champ!
thesoulbear
+4 -1
Man I am so bad at hopping on bandwagons.
Man I am so bad at hopping on bandwagons.
cailetshadow
+25 -0
All rolling in the dust as the wagon trundles away full of laughing people, ankle twisted, crying hot snotty tears of shame.
All rolling in the dust as the wagon trundles away full of laughing people, ankle twisted, crying hot snotty tears of shame.
deusoma
+0 -0
That was almost too vivid. I think Cailetshadow has something he'd like to share with us, fellow Assetbaristas.
That was almost too vivid. I think Cailetshadow has something he'd like to share with us, fellow Assetbaristas.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
cailetshadow quit assetbar like a year ag...oh wait.
cailetshadow quit assetbar like a year ag...oh wait.
cailetshadow
+5 -0
Listen you.
I tried. I really did. But I can't figure out how to delete the account. It's like trying to quit cigarettes, but an anonymous person leaves a fresh pack in your mailbox every day. I did stop posting on the new comics. Mostly out of shame at my aforementioned rant.
So anyway. Yeah. I'm sort of like the phantom of the opera now. I hang around in the wings, peeking out at all the people under the bright lights in their fancy clothes and hats. and smoking.
Listen you.
I tried. I really did. But I can't figure out how to delete the account. It's like trying to quit cigarettes, but an anonymous person leaves a fresh pack in your mailbox every day. I did stop posting on the new comics. Mostly out of shame at my aforementioned rant.
So anyway. Yeah. I'm sort of like the phantom of the opera now. I hang around in the wings, peeking out at all the people under the bright lights in their fancy clothes and hats. and smoking.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Man, ain't no thing. I think I'm the only one who even remembers you did that...
Man, ain't no thing. I think I'm the only one who even remembers you did that...
zem
+0 -0
what'd he do? link that shit
what'd he do? link that shit
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Check out a Korean movie called 3-Iron.
3-Iron
Check out a Korean movie called 3-Iron.
3-Iron
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Hey, I own that movie.
Hey, I own that movie.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
I....I knew that.
I rearranged your movies alphabetically.
I...hope you don't mind.
I....I knew that.
I rearranged your movies alphabetically.
I...hope you don't mind.
cailetshadow
+1 -0
3 iron would go first alphabetically, so this comment makes sense.
3 iron would go first alphabetically, so this comment makes sense.
gunsofray
+0 -1
but the bandwagon is full of people screaming "These knives" as loudly as possible.. maybe missing that wagon wasn't a bad thing?
but the bandwagon is full of people screaming "These knives" as loudly as possible.. maybe missing that wagon wasn't a bad thing?
farqussus
+0 -0
shut up dickbutt
shut up dickbutt
gunsofray
+0 -0
a single teardrop fell from my cheek the moment i read that comment. Suffice to say thus: :(
a single teardrop fell from my cheek the moment i read that comment. Suffice to say thus: :(
farqussus
+1 -0
i just wanted to call you dickbutt. Dickbutt.
i just wanted to call you dickbutt. Dickbutt.
gunsofray
+0 -0
You bully! but a damn fine bully if i do say so myself. I pprove of this, Hathead.
I'm new to this.
You bully! but a damn fine bully if i do say so myself. I pprove of this, Hathead.
I'm new to this.
farqussus
+0 -0
a good try. Dickbutt.
a good try. Dickbutt.
gunsofray
+0 -0
thank you, Trillboobs.
Trillby and boobs. hehehe .. i'm sixteen, i'm sorry..
thank you, Trillboobs.
Trillby and boobs. hehehe .. i'm sixteen, i'm sorry..
gunsofray
+0 -0
[url=https:www.youtube.com/watch?v=exu4HOZiXFs/] Which reminds me of this dude, for some reason[/url]
[url=https:www.youtube.com/watch?v=exu4HOZiXFs/] Which reminds me of this dude, for some reason[/url]
gunsofray
+0 -1
Quick! who has as goat i can sacrifice to repent my sins?
Quick! who has as goat i can sacrifice to repent my sins?
overmedicated
+8 -1
BEE'S HIVES
BEE'S HIVES
jlynes
+3 -1
CLEVE'S THIGHS
CLEVE'S THIGHS
dovey
+2 -1
CREED'S LIES
CREED'S LIES
dennycrane
+0 -1
SEED PIES
SEED PIES
jlynes
+0 -0
MEADE'S LIES
MEADE'S LIES
i_love_kate
+1 -0
SWEDE CRIES
SWEDE CRIES
jlynes
+0 -0
WEED DYES
WEED DYES
bassguitarbill
+4 -0
CHEESE FRIES
CHEESE FRIES
johnnybaverage
+3 -0
KNEE-HIGHS
KNEE-HIGHS
mattylite
+8 -0
THESE WIVES
[IMGS OFF]
THESE WIVES
[IMGS OFF]
gunsofray
+0 -1
DIABEETUS
wait, what?
DIABEETUS
wait, what?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
BEES HIVES!
BEES HIVES!
comrade_tom
+0 -0
HEED CRIES?
HEED CRIES?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
your mom. and your dad.
your mom. and your dad.
puguglypress
+0 -0
SHE DIES!
SHE DIES!
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
SHAVED EYES!
SHAVED EYES!
gunsofray
+0 -1
FAT PIES!
FAT PIES!
puguglypress
+0 -0
DEEZ NUTS!
DEEZ NUTS!
keir
+3 -1
I could play a trumpet with my cock! THESE KNIVES!
I could play a trumpet with my cock! THESE KNIVES!
centipede_damascus
+5 -0
Just ask baby Jesus! These knives!
Just ask baby Jesus! These knives!
gunsofray
+0 -0
JESUS' LIVES
JESUS' LIVES
gunsofray
+1 -0
"lives" like, a cat has nine of them. Not "lives" such as saying Jesus is alive.. I mean, he obviously isn't, he died over a year ago..
"lives" like, a cat has nine of them. Not "lives" such as saying Jesus is alive.. I mean, he obviously isn't, he died over a year ago..
shmuckeles
+13 -0
THESE KNIVES!
BOOSH!
THESE KNIVES!
BOOSH!
k_buttsworthe
+29 -0
hahaha this is like a james brown song or something
THESE KNIVES
BOOSH
THESE KNIVES
UH
*3 minute trumpet solo*
hahaha this is like a james brown song or something
THESE KNIVES
BOOSH
THESE KNIVES
UH
*3 minute trumpet solo*
tangram
+0 -0
This song is called... THESE KNIVES!!!
Now give the drummer some.
This song is called... THESE KNIVES!!!
Now give the drummer some.
usversusthem
+0 -0
Some of what?
Some of what?
fablesandblues
+3 -1
THESE KNIVES
THESE KNIVES
usversusthem
+0 -0
Thank you, and good-night.
Thank you, and good-night.
usversusthem
+0 -0
p.s. THESE KNIVES
p.s. THESE KNIVES
fermatprime
+0 -0
WHAT KNIVES?
WHAT KNIVES?
gunsofray
+0 -1
NO KNIVES
NO KNIVES
mercuri0us
+3 -0
JESUS CHRIST I just wasted 10 minutes or so of my life reading THESE KNIVES over and over, with some small variations. I hate the internet.
JESUS CHRIST I just wasted 10 minutes or so of my life reading THESE KNIVES over and over, with some small variations. I hate the internet.
gunsofray
+0 -1
as did i when i first saw that, sir.
However, THESE KNIVES will consume you.
as did i when i first saw that, sir.
However, THESE KNIVES will consume you.
stoicromance
+6 -0
The Guess Who!
THESE KNIVES!!
(duh nuh nuh nuhnuh nuh!)
ARE CRYING!
THESE KNIVES HAVE SEEN ALOTTA LOVE BUT THEY NEVER GONNA SEE ANOTHER LOVE LIKE THEY HAD WITH YOU!
The Guess Who!
THESE KNIVES!!
(duh nuh nuh nuhnuh nuh!)
ARE CRYING!
THESE KNIVES HAVE SEEN ALOTTA LOVE BUT THEY NEVER GONNA SEE ANOTHER LOVE LIKE THEY HAD WITH YOU!
snowman
+1 -0
Man...I was totally just gonna do that. I'm kinda glad I didn't now though, cause it kinda wasn't that funny I guess.
Man...I was totally just gonna do that. I'm kinda glad I didn't now though, cause it kinda wasn't that funny I guess.
em2
+0 -0
Seconded, but I still think it's funny.
Seconded, but I still think it's funny.
mattfish
+0 -0
OOH THESE KNIVES
CAN'T YOU KNIVES THESE KNIVES
OOH THESE KNIVES
CAN'T YOU KNIVES THESE KNIVES
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Ackbar for the win
Ackbar for the win
suprememongoose
+1 -0
Drinking whilst watching infomercials is something more people should do. I recommend any "RonCo" commercials (prominently featuring the line "but wait, there's more!") mixed with a large quantity of your libation of choice. (Screwdrivers at the time). This is an activity that is best happened upon accidentally.
Drinking whilst watching infomercials is something more people should do. I recommend any "RonCo" commercials (prominently featuring the line "but wait, there's more!") mixed with a large quantity of your libation of choice. (Screwdrivers at the time). This is an activity that is best happened upon accidentally.
stormypinkness
+0 -0
Jack LaLanne Power Juicer!!
Jack LaLanne Power Juicer!!
suprememongoose
+0 -0
Oh hell yes!
Oh hell yes!
quantumcasaba
+1 -0
Nad's Hair Removal Cream.
"It's all natural. You can even eat Nads on your toast!"
Runner up: Magic Bullet.
Nad's Hair Removal Cream.
"It's all natural. You can even eat Nads on your toast!"
Runner up: Magic Bullet.
farqussus
+1 -0
it tastes OK.
it tastes OK.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
nads taste ok? why find out?
nads taste ok? why find out?
farqussus
+0 -0
don't say that! you'll make girls think twice
don't say that! you'll make girls think twice
hamscout
+0 -0
Magic bullet my ass...
Will it BLEND?
(Caution-you will want to watch all of these YouTube now)
Magic bullet my ass...
Will it BLEND?
(Caution-you will want to watch all of these YouTube now)
ravindra108
+1 -0
Don't breathe this!
Don't breathe this!
reburn
+0 -0
That is the question.
That is the question.
gunsofray
+0 -0
THESE SCREWDRIVERS
THESE SCREWDRIVERS
abe
+3 -0
Set it... and FORGET IT!
Set it... and FORGET IT!
ambala
+4 -0
Act now, and we'll include another set of THESE KNIVES! Absolutely free!
Act now, and we'll include another set of THESE KNIVES! Absolutely free!
natashamarie
+1 -0
*does not include shipping and handling
*does not include shipping and handling
quantumcasaba
+6 -0
**does not include Those Knives
**does not include Those Knives
kamet
+0 -0
***is not actually free
***is not actually free
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
penis not actually free?
penis not actually free?
farqussus
+0 -0
this one is
this one is
chaesar
+2 -0
Never thought Lyle would know what a basal nervous system is...I don't know what a basal nervous system is...
Never thought Lyle would know what a basal nervous system is...I don't know what a basal nervous system is...
nexus
+1 -0
Oooooh, THESE KNIVES!!
Oooooh, THESE KNIVES!!
isaach
+5 -0
i'm in med school and i still don't know what a basal nervous system is
i'm in med school and i still don't know what a basal nervous system is
imitationcrab
+3 -0
you probably fell asleep that day
you probably fell asleep that day
chuchurocket
+12 -0
i like to instead think of it as the basil nervous system. that part of the body that runs purely on homestyle italian cooking.
i like to instead think of it as the basil nervous system. that part of the body that runs purely on homestyle italian cooking.
m3funkyb
+2 -0
where is the free AUTHENTIC samurai sword when you buy THESE KNIVES??
where is the free AUTHENTIC samurai sword when you buy THESE KNIVES??
honesttom
+8 -0
You don't need it - not with THESE KNIVES!
You don't need it - not with THESE KNIVES!
a_dude
+1 -0
oooh these knives!
oooh these knives!
f1shst1ck
+1 -0
It FELL through that onion, man
It FELL through that onion, man
jsb
+20 -0
Teodor and Lyle are definitely not afraid of the police right now.
Teodor and Lyle are definitely not afraid of the police right now.
spectre
+3 -0
Especially not with THESE KNIVES!
Especially not with THESE KNIVES!
songbirdspectre
+1 -1
THESE KNIVES!!!!!!!
THESE KNIVES!!!!!!!
carpetbag
+3 -1
wait so did they purchase the knives or what
wait so did they purchase the knives or what
stuart
+0 -1
I seem to recall a version of this strip ending with them stealing Chris's wallet.
I seem to recall a version of this strip ending with them stealing Chris's wallet.
audhumla
+7 -0
THESE CHIVES
THESE CHIVES
umbra
+1 -0
I've got THESE HIVES!
I've got THESE HIVES!
overmedicated
+8 -1
I am the Sultan Tippoo of India.
Look at THESE WIVES!
I am the Sultan Tippoo of India.
Look at THESE WIVES!
stuart
+0 -1
I've been repeatedly spinning in place at the start of the last level.
THESE LIVES!
I've been repeatedly spinning in place at the start of the last level.
THESE LIVES!
abe
+7 -0
I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you.
Now watch THESE DRIVES!!!
I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Thank you.
Now watch THESE DRIVES!!!
jeet
+1 -0
It's all about the Lincolns, baby!
THESE FIVES.
It's all about the Lincolns, baby!
THESE FIVES.
quantumcasaba
+10 -0
I'm puzzling over polytonality.
THESE IVES!
I'm puzzling over polytonality.
THESE IVES!
snowman
+1 -0
I'm like a country or something you have heard of but don't know much about.
THESE MALDIVES!
I'm like a country or something you have heard of but don't know much about.
THESE MALDIVES!
catgrl131
+1 -0
My cream cheese is bland. What should I add?
THESE CHIVES!
My cream cheese is bland. What should I add?
THESE CHIVES!
chachibenji
+1 -0
Watching the Olympic swim team do they thing.
THESE DIVES!
Watching the Olympic swim team do they thing.
THESE DIVES!
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Listening to some smooth jazz
THESE JIVES!
Listening to some smooth jazz
THESE JIVES!
em2
+1 -0
I think I'm allergic to that food.
THESE HIVES!
I think I'm allergic to that food.
THESE HIVES!
mockereo
+0 -0
I bought a houseplant. With care and attention
IT THRIVES!
I bought a houseplant. With care and attention
IT THRIVES!
henrythecad
+0 -0
You guys got it all wrong... the hercules hook was the greatest infomercial of all time.
You guys got it all wrong... the hercules hook was the greatest infomercial of all time.
robobogle
+0 -0
Was? I still see it on TV like, weekly.
Was? I still see it on TV like, weekly.
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
This is pretty much a re-enactment of my friend's and my first exposure to miracle blade III.
This is pretty much a re-enactment of my friend's and my first exposure to miracle blade III.
godfatherofsouls
+3 -0
honestly watch this and see if YOU don't get pumped
honestly watch this and see if YOU don't get pumped
gormster
+0 -0
Actually that does look really, really awesome.
Actually that does look really, really awesome.
betwixt
+0 -0
this comic and your comics make me wanting to know 2 things: how many people got injured with a miracle blade and how many people watch such ads sober?
this comic and your comics make me wanting to know 2 things: how many people got injured with a miracle blade and how many people watch such ads sober?
betwixt
+0 -0
your posts, not comics. stupid sobriety-thing.
your posts, not comics. stupid sobriety-thing.
godfatherofsouls
+0 -0
Given the time of day they usually air, I'd say about six.
Given the time of day they usually air, I'd say about six.
sporkism
+4 -0
Finally! A knife that can cut through pineapples... in MIDAIR.
Finally! A knife that can cut through pineapples... in MIDAIR.
forksandknives
+0 -0
Chop n' Scoop! THOSE FUCKING KNIVES!
Chop n' Scoop! THOSE FUCKING KNIVES!
drskradley
+1 -0
Oh hellshit, that guy. I love that guy. He can even fillet the fillet!
I love the full ad. I used to watch it when I was a kid. It inspired me to be the man I am today. This is not a joke.
Oh hellshit, that guy. I love that guy. He can even fillet the fillet!
I love the full ad. I used to watch it when I was a kid. It inspired me to be the man I am today. This is not a joke.
ushiewhispaz
+1 -0
I thought my heart was explodin' one time. Turns out, cocaine just makes you feel like that.
I thought my heart was explodin' one time. Turns out, cocaine just makes you feel like that.
wharfrat
+0 -0
fuck yeah
fuck yeah
tbtabby
+0 -0
This strip reminds of a line from the BBC episodes of Whose Line: "We're back on the Serial Killer Shopping Network, and look at these knives!"
Nice Pete would call that network three times a day. It'd sure beat dealing with Hajul the EE.
This strip reminds of a line from the BBC episodes of Whose Line: "We're back on the Serial Killer Shopping Network, and look at these knives!"
Nice Pete would call that network three times a day. It'd sure beat dealing with Hajul the EE.
woodenteeth
+5 -0
I reckon Lyle is a former Lit Lecturer/Failed novelist with lines like "Your basal nervous system wants these knives" and "Cunty the Sardine" AND "Here's your burrito there's nothing more we could do". He's a genius constantly fried in booze. Every hardcore author ever...
I reckon Lyle is a former Lit Lecturer/Failed novelist with lines like "Your basal nervous system wants these knives" and "Cunty the Sardine" AND "Here's your burrito there's nothing more we could do". He's a genius constantly fried in booze. Every hardcore author ever...
hbaranov
+3 -0
Lyle is Achewood's response to Hunter S. Thompson? /Discuss.
Lyle is Achewood's response to Hunter S. Thompson? /Discuss.
reverendsam
+3 -0
these knives!
edit: fuck beaten
these knives!
edit: fuck beaten
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Did you really think you could fool us into thinking there was an edit function? How could you be so arrogant?!
Did you really think you could fool us into thinking there was an edit function? How could you be so arrogant?!
johnnyc
+1 -0
THESE KNIVES HAVE SEEN A LOTTA LOVES
BUT THEY'RE NEVER GONNA SEE ANOTHER ONE LIKE I HAD WITH YOU
THESE KNIVES HAVE SEEN A LOTTA LOVES
BUT THEY'RE NEVER GONNA SEE ANOTHER ONE LIKE I HAD WITH YOU
baryonyx
+6 -0
I totally saw a show exactly like this. It was called "The Knife Show." They started out with boxed kitchen cutlery sets, and then started adding military combat knives. Then they added a katana. I'm pretty sure there was a headlamp they threw in too. The full set consisted of a few hundred knives, a headlamp, and a sword. And unrelated people kept walking across the set of the show, and they kept putting up countdown timers which, after a while, I realized had absolutely no bearing on anything.
It made my night.
I totally saw a show exactly like this. It was called "The Knife Show." They started out with boxed kitchen cutlery sets, and then started adding military combat knives. Then they added a katana. I'm pretty sure there was a headlamp they threw in too. The full set consisted of a few hundred knives, a headlamp, and a sword. And unrelated people kept walking across the set of the show, and they kept putting up countdown timers which, after a while, I realized had absolutely no bearing on anything.
It made my night.
deovalente
+0 -0
I've seen it. The guy they used to have as the host was so much better than the current guy. He was all totally "THESE KNIVES!" to the extreme. My dad likes to watch it pretty much for fun.
I've seen it. The guy they used to have as the host was so much better than the current guy. He was all totally "THESE KNIVES!" to the extreme. My dad likes to watch it pretty much for fun.
saucy_jack
+0 -0
Hot damn but I love that show. It comes on cable a lot, my mom and I will watch it if we are together.
Hot damn but I love that show. It comes on cable a lot, my mom and I will watch it if we are together.
rowboat
+1 -0
Hey, guys. Remember that fun game where everyone took turns saying "these knives?" Good times.
Hey, guys. Remember that fun game where everyone took turns saying "these knives?" Good times.
7th_shot
+0 -0
Now it looks misspelled to me.
Now it looks misspelled to me.
woodenteeth
+1 -0
Hey man. Unrelated note. How come there's no rowboat fanclub. tekende got one. i think it's time you held a press conference.
Hey man. Unrelated note. How come there's no rowboat fanclub. tekende got one. i think it's time you held a press conference.
rowboat
+1 -0
Well, thank you, but I'm actually pretty well despised in some corners of this place. Unlike the always pleasant Tekende, I have a surly side for which many here will likely never forgive me. I understand.
Well, thank you, but I'm actually pretty well despised in some corners of this place. Unlike the always pleasant Tekende, I have a surly side for which many here will likely never forgive me. I understand.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
gotta be lamed to be a well rounded man here... otherwise you're editing your comments to much. Aside from Skradley that is. That man appears invincible.
gotta be lamed to be a well rounded man here... otherwise you're editing your comments to much. Aside from Skradley that is. That man appears invincible.
nighend
+3 -0
DEEZ NUTZ
DEEZ NUTZ
redmange
+2 -0
Jesus christ look at these knives. There are ten of these bad boys. All sharp and shiny. Bet you could cut all kinds of things with these knives, hell yeah. Fifty year warranty bitch, you'll be dead by then, you don't ever have to worry about cutting shit again. Good golly miss molly just look at these knives.
Jesus christ look at these knives. There are ten of these bad boys. All sharp and shiny. Bet you could cut all kinds of things with these knives, hell yeah. Fifty year warranty bitch, you'll be dead by then, you don't ever have to worry about cutting shit again. Good golly miss molly just look at these knives.
aristagoras
+0 -0
This is absolutely one of the best Achewood strips. Each panel gets progressively more awesome.
This is absolutely one of the best Achewood strips. Each panel gets progressively more awesome.
jamsolid
+1 -0
plate# THSE KNVS
plate# THSE KNVS
sharpdresseddan
+0 -0
Man, you know that somewhere Nice Pete is watching this infomercial, and thinking how well "those knives" would "fall through someone's onion..."
Man, you know that somewhere Nice Pete is watching this infomercial, and thinking how well "those knives" would "fall through someone's onion..."
ssddr
+0 -0
I miss the late night knife infomercials, much better then poker after dark.
I miss the late night knife infomercials, much better then poker after dark.
seph
+0 -0
These knives were made for slicin', and that's just what they'll do...
Téodor and Lyle just don't have enough moments like this in the later strips.
These knives were made for slicin', and that's just what they'll do...
Téodor and Lyle just don't have enough moments like this in the later strips.
plummet
+0 -1
Do you guys remember the good old days of THESE KNIVES? Things were simpler when Teodor and Lyle were mains.
Do you guys remember the good old days of THESE KNIVES? Things were simpler when Teodor and Lyle were mains.
radarjammer
+1 -0
Glial cells aren't that great. FUCK Glial Cells. There, I said it.
Glial cells aren't that great. FUCK Glial Cells. There, I said it.
jhunter
+0 -0
sometimes you see a product and think "this is the product that I need to be truly happy -- if I possessed this product, I would shed my chrysalis of woe and emerge renewed"
this is how consumerism works.
sometimes you see a product and think "this is the product that I need to be truly happy -- if I possessed this product, I would shed my chrysalis of woe and emerge renewed"
this is how consumerism works.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
's called commodity fetishism.
LOOK IT UP
's called commodity fetishism.
LOOK IT UP
wtfoxnews
+0 -0
THESE CANS
THESE CANS
sparhawk
+0 -0
THESE....!
.
Uh.
THESE....!
.
Uh.
zapatos
+1 -0
Printed and hanging in my cubicle. Its weird that I work in a cubicle and have to wear a hardhat.
Printed and hanging in my cubicle. Its weird that I work in a cubicle and have to wear a hardhat.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Well, in your school classes it was a Bike Crash Helmet. Your mother thinks the Hard Hat looks more mature.
Well, in your school classes it was a Bike Crash Helmet. Your mother thinks the Hard Hat looks more mature.
milo
+0 -0
it's funny how that's supposed to be bourbon, but all alcohol looks like Jack Daniels in Achewood universe.
it's funny how that's supposed to be bourbon, but all alcohol looks like Jack Daniels in Achewood universe.
gage
+0 -0
Hi, Billy Mays here for these knives! The fast and easy way to fall through any onion!
Hi, Billy Mays here for these knives! The fast and easy way to fall through any onion!
fermatprime
+1 -0
Captain Picard, you are not Billy Mays.
Captain Picard, you are not Billy Mays.
brokeaccount
+0 -0
I bought some Robert Welch knives the other day, and today I used them for the first time. Fortunately I was alone so no one could hear me shouting "It FELL through that onion, man!" when I was slicing some onions.
I bought some Robert Welch knives the other day, and today I used them for the first time. Fortunately I was alone so no one could hear me shouting "It FELL through that onion, man!" when I was slicing some onions.
philophobe
+3 -0
Two dudes, jazzed on their ability to, if not buy, then at least yell about buying knives.
Two dudes, jazzed on their ability to, if not buy, then at least yell about buying knives.
whichknives
+0 -0
This is the best comic of all time.
This is the best comic of all time.
fermatprime
+0 -0
THESE knives!
THESE knives!
puguglypress
+0 -0
I think my heart's explodin'!
I think my heart's explodin'!
fattypneumonia
+1 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
:(
i miss raymondo
:(
i miss raymondo
mrchuckletrouzd
+0 -1
Deez Knives.
Deez Nuts.
Deez Knives.
Deez Nuts.
subrosian
+0 -1
These knees.... @#&$! Crap!
These knees.... @#&$! Crap!
puguglypress
+0 -0
Only $1.99.9 a knife, man!
Only $1.99.9 a knife, man!
puguglypress
+0 -0
sorry that was gay
sorry that was gay
saintentreri
+0 -0
THIS FUCKING PUMPKIN
THIS FUCKING PUMPKIN
I love these knives
Oh, you mean
THESE KNIVES?
ditto