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Pat is on the radio again! Friday, December 3, 2004 • read strip Viewing 77 comments:

As it turns out, Pat would indeed know something so beautiful, in time.

Heavy foreshadowing here

He still won't know it. Just because he turns gay doesn't mean he will ever get laid. This is because Pat's a dick.

But everyone needs a project!

Rod Huggins, as it turns out, is into dicks. Which makes sense, given that he's gay.

Wouldn't that mean that dicks are into him? He is a gay man, not a catheter.

URETHRAL STIMULATION.

Please do not taint the days before Assetbar was concerned with the horrors of URETHRAL STIMULATION.

Mr. Gary's pole is extremely smokable.

It is of the hand-rolled variety

No, but it is chubby

oh man. too good. this should have a thousand chubbies.

Much like the postprandial with a finger's worth.

Arthur's got weird ideas about romance.

A comment left by saru was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by autrepoupee, rowboat, Axhoola, SpinyNorman, achilleselbow, gorrioncita)

Was basketball equipment invovled?

Saru, this is your mother. Get down off that high horse, I'm afraid you might fall and hurt yourself!

The dude is proud because he gets laid.

Dude is proud because he thinks of it as more than just getting laid, actually.

whoa shit, when I read the first two lines of that I assumed you were a mother and I thought you were implying that you use loving, sensual acts of passion on your children to express your love for them

That would just be terrible.

I thought he was saying that he was a mother in a lesbian relationship. I was all like, "yeah! You REPRESENT! Go the non-traditional families."

you both said "thought" as in past tense. Is there some normal way to read this cause that's the only two possible meanings I can find.

I now take 'mother' to mean 'motherfucker' (but not literally cos that just busts open a whole new kettle of fish)

Oh ok, so he was probably non-literally using the shortened term motherfucker, in a sentence referring to motherhood. There could be a college class about trying to fully understand this comment.

I feel like this happens about once a week on NPR, but nobody is ever listening.

It would happen nightly on WBAI, but in a much more passive-aggressive, self-entitled, personal-is-political kind of way.

His name was Monroe.

I'm really sort of worried that "sitting on a canary" is slang for something I don't know about.

I doubt if it's just grinding a small yellow bird into the seat of a chair with your asscheeks. It is difficult to imagine how someone could be "good" at such a thing.

Maybe Arthur farts a lot?

It means, in my mind, sitting on a small yellow bird without grinding it into bird-paste.

I will leave the reader to ponder the mechanics behind this, should he or she choose to.

The implication is that Arthur has previously displayed a general proficiency at sitting on things that might be usefully employed in normally unsittable objects such as canaries

Good thing you don't have to admit things such as 'murder' at support groups.

Larry is my name, insurance is my game. Raping was another game of mine.

I love Achewood strips where horrible secrets come spilling out of the characters, who were saving them for blackmail material before they got mad.

A comment left by stevegt500 was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by tekende, mortshire, Dwilow, peterjoel)

That line had me in tears.

I wonder if we'll ever see Mr. Gary.

Do you really think you want to see Mr. Gary? I don't think you want to be in the kind of place you have to be in before you go to see Mr. Gary. That place is decorated spartanly, its only noticable feature a sticker making falsified claims about barbers.

Wait..."we"? Oh, Centipede Damascus...or perhaps I should say Centipede Damascii...how could I have been so blind?

You can find Mr. Gary if you only look.

At 715 Lomax.

Go. Leave me.

TO MY THOUGHTS.

Did something go wrong with your brain there dude.

Genius works in mysterious ways. Leave him to it.

i don't think you can decorate spartanly.

You can do anything you set your mind to.

I can, but HE can't.

The fact that both Mr. Gary and AKKOLADE are so rarely seen in the comic has led my mind to wonder if they are, in fact, one and the same.

Teodor's head had to be small in the last panel, but the fact that is so small and featureless is a perfect rendition of his state of mind when hearing this.

Bar none, my favorite alt-text of all time.

"Smoking Mr. Gary's pole is so beautiful"

God DAMN it! DAMMIT!
DAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
FUCK THE WORLD!

pat's best dialogue ever imo

Great strip: Teodor's eyebrows slightly askew through most of the strip is the perfect look. I always love to add a "FUCK THE WORLD!" to any moment of rising anger (be it mine or a friend's). Also, the visual of the "basketball equipment" just makes the anonymous support group local that much more visceral...those things are always in some room at a YMCA or community center, aren't they?

Pat the bigot on the radio: nothing like an outlandish opinion to highlight the ridiculous nature of a call-in

Oh shoot, that's another thing trying to steal my brain. I fucking hate Philadelphia. Nothing is sacred.

How on earth does sitting on a canary make you gay? I mean, since Arthur's gay I guess that's the first thing he'd think of if it's clear Pat's insinuating something but still... crazy.

Man, Mr. Gary has some terrible anger metaphors.

This cannot be allowable on the radio.

...is what Pat would say if it was him who was listening to that tirade. Then he'd ring in and complain by shouting again .

Man, he's a dick.

Basically he is a furious gigantic zit on the asscheek of a person who is experiencing 'roid-rage.

Pat's turning out to be the Nor Cal version of Mr. Garrison.

Teodor is fixing up his boat in the first panel.

Today's Blogs

Philippe: I am sorry that I did not blog!
Mr. Bear: Blasted Patrick
Onstad: Some observations on the day.
Little Nephew: I want to work on a ship!

You know, I missed a lot of the Little Nephew blog storylines the first time through because his old design was so eye-bleedingly unreadable - like, green text on orange or some crazy like that. He joined the Merchant Marines apparently?

I never read LN's blogs because I can't understand a thing he says.

You don't need to understand them to enjoy signoffs such as:
Squeeze a nerd and get a turd, word.
Watch your noggins, Kenny Loggins.
Touch a creek, freak.
That's all, shaved ball.

I love his precociousness in this one. Almost Philippine, if still presented in his "street" lingo. I had to stifle an "aw."

This brings up an important question: Why the hell does Arthur hang out with Pat? For that matter, apart from smoking Mr. Gary's pole, why does he go to anger management?

I don't think Arthur attends, I think he works there. Mr. Gary's assistant or something.

It's odd, isn't it? I've always figured that he was a member of the group, maybe a tenured guy who was pretty much over his problems and stuck around to help the new kids. I think Mr. Gary uses Arthur's weaknesses (1. a now renewed and overactive trust in authority figures, like counselors or maybe even mayors, perhaps even a strong attraction to them; 2. Pole smokin' jones) for his own benefit (1. not having to actually counsel and getting Arthur do his work for him; 2. beautiful acts of love from the sandpaper-esque tongue of a cat).

Jesus dude are you a Lisp programmer

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Because of all the parentheses. Yeah, never mind.

whenever you talk like that I feel like I'm sitting on the nozzle of a canister that reads LAMBDA

Baby, you can drive my cdr.

Dude, come on, I mean those parentheses weren't even nested. You gotta go at least three levels deep before you get accused of Lisp.

(I've never used Lisp, but I think it sounds pretty cool. I mean, you gotta love a language where you can write a parser for it in a lunch hour.)

(Would you believe that in real life, I am actually a (ok, admittedly, a very geeky) lawyer ?)

Is anyone else really scared of Anger after what Arthur said?

I had to get a padlock fitted. Hurts like hell.

I guess the FCC doesn't monitor Achewood's radio stations, otherwise KWDA would have some fat fuckin' fines for Pat's salty language.

most stations have a delay so they can edit calls, should it ever arise.

I just realized. this is the boat Teodor and ray fixed up. Awesome work, 'stad

I can hear Onstad barely suppressing a giggle as he wrote that alt text.