arcibi
+8 -0
The Will and Grace fanfiction makes it for me
The Will and Grace fanfiction makes it for me
spinynorman
+25 -1
They figured out how to code an emotion by making it the "paella you spent all damn day making." Oregan Trail has broken the mould.
They figured out how to code an emotion by making it the "paella you spent all damn day making." Oregan Trail has broken the mould.
laserblade
+2 -2
I'm pretty sure those are just headers.
I'm pretty sure those are just headers.
slab64
+8 -0
It's not entirely Hiram's fault - how would YOU adjust to living in the future with your gay boyfriend?
I just want to know what kind of car he crashed. Was it a Nissan?
It's not entirely Hiram's fault - how would YOU adjust to living in the future with your gay boyfriend?
I just want to know what kind of car he crashed. Was it a Nissan?
untilyouaresonude
+7 -1
It was a silver Rav 4 with a sunroof.
It was a silver Rav 4 with a sunroof.
professorhazard
+0 -0
I figured it was a Neon.
I figured it was a Neon.
tragicone
+2 -0
i think it is a Neon. Older models are straight up homosexual.
i think it is a Neon. Older models are straight up homosexual.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
A comment left by fuckyoufriday was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Marcus_Brody, Afkpuz, Slab64, dj)
A comment left by fuckyoufriday was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Marcus_Brody, Afkpuz, Slab64, dj)
dougthehead
+36 -0
Turns out that when gay computer programmers are unhappy with their relationship, they write autobiographical modules of Oregon Trail. This is a great example of Onstad's gift for characterization.
Turns out that when gay computer programmers are unhappy with their relationship, they write autobiographical modules of Oregon Trail. This is a great example of Onstad's gift for characterization.
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
Hahahahaha, I was thinking the exact same thing.
Hahahahaha, I was thinking the exact same thing.
gormster
+137 -0
As a genuine gay computer programmer, I can tell you that this is exactly the case .
As a genuine gay computer programmer, I can tell you that this is exactly the case .
badganjil
+3 -1
Chubby him. ^
CHUBBY HIM.
Chubby him. ^
CHUBBY HIM.
semiquaver
+4 -0
I have a chubby FOR...no, I can't do it. Fuck.
I have a chubby FOR...no, I can't do it. Fuck.
charchar
+0 -0
You tried and that's what matters. A chubby for your troubles, sir.
You tried and that's what matters. A chubby for your troubles, sir.
semiquaver
+3 -0
Oops. I meant I couldn't make the joke, not.... Did everyone else out there just misinterpret that the same way? God damn it all to hell. ;-;
Oops. I meant I couldn't make the joke, not.... Did everyone else out there just misinterpret that the same way? God damn it all to hell. ;-;
charchar
+23 -0
No, the effort was for trying to make the joke. I once tried making a joke about a crocodile attack ("a reptile dysfunction") but i sissed out.
No, the effort was for trying to make the joke. I once tried making a joke about a crocodile attack ("a reptile dysfunction") but i sissed out.
mattylite
+0 -0
I thank you for that punchline (the joke is the easy part), but all my friends will hate you for providing it by the fifth time I tell them the joke.
I thank you for that punchline (the joke is the easy part), but all my friends will hate you for providing it by the fifth time I tell them the joke.
charchar
+0 -0
This is why I'm here.
This is why I'm here.
boredom_man
+0 -0
It's cool, Semiquaver. Best get that embarrassing first out of the way at 17, when you can still wiggle your ears out of it.
It's cool, Semiquaver. Best get that embarrassing first out of the way at 17, when you can still wiggle your ears out of it.
semiquaver
+0 -0
Stop misinterpreting me, or I'll pour bloody hot fat on the mayor.
Stop misinterpreting me, or I'll pour bloody hot fat on the mayor.
boredom_man
+0 -0
Gavin Newsom? He's got problems enough, man. Wait until you turn 18, at least.
Gavin Newsom? He's got problems enough, man. Wait until you turn 18, at least.
semiquaver
+0 -0
You live in San Fran?
You live in San Fran?
boredom_man
+0 -0
Well, no, but my mayor's big controversies involve downtown gentrification and a tax for emergency flood relief. If you can make a hot bloody fat joke about that, you are a better man than I.
Well, no, but my mayor's big controversies involve downtown gentrification and a tax for emergency flood relief. If you can make a hot bloody fat joke about that, you are a better man than I.
semiquaver
+0 -0
I can't help but giggle at the phrase "emergency flood relief."
I can't help but giggle at the phrase "emergency flood relief."
boredom_man
+0 -0
Conceded and v-chubbed.
Conceded and v-chubbed.
snowman
+1 -0
Chubbles.
Chubbles.
tragicone
+0 -0
is your boyfriend achewood literate?
is your boyfriend achewood literate?
gormster
+3 -0
My last boyfriend certainly wasn't.
We broke up.
My last boyfriend certainly wasn't.
We broke up.
tragicone
+0 -0
I am sorry to hear that. If I were gay I would attempt to assist but alas, I am not.
I am sorry to hear that. If I were gay I would attempt to assist but alas, I am not.
nigelchaos
+0 -0
Wow. Your short yet concise description there speaks volumes.
Wow. Your short yet concise description there speaks volumes.
semiquaver
+0 -0
We're two years apart...eshm...you wanna go out? *slumps* It's so hard finding Achewood-loving boyfriends ;-;
We're two years apart...eshm...you wanna go out? *slumps* It's so hard finding Achewood-loving boyfriends ;-;
gormster
+0 -0
Eshm is some profound onomatopoeia. Do you live in Sydney? That's kind of the crux of the whole thing.
Eshm is some profound onomatopoeia. Do you live in Sydney? That's kind of the crux of the whole thing.
drskradley
+1 -0
Blatant flirting and pseudo-hooking-up on Assetbar strikes again !
Blatant flirting and pseudo-hooking-up on Assetbar strikes again !
semiquaver
+0 -0
I wouldn't call it flirting. I'd call it desperation. So many boys, so few with a decent sense of humor.
I wouldn't call it flirting. I'd call it desperation. So many boys, so few with a decent sense of humor.
wittyname
+2 -0
Maybe someday you'll find that special man to move into the future with.
Maybe someday you'll find that special man to move into the future with.
semiquaver
+1 -0
Mom? Dad? I want you to meet the young Truman Capote.
Mom? Dad? I want you to meet the young Truman Capote.
wittyname
+0 -0
Okay, I know who Truman Capote is, but I have no idea what you're getting at here. Mind breaking down the sentence there for the mentally inept?
Okay, I know who Truman Capote is, but I have no idea what you're getting at here. Mind breaking down the sentence there for the mentally inept?
deusoma
+1 -0
The idea is that Capote moved to the future with him after they hooked up.
The idea is that Capote moved to the future with him after they hooked up.
semiquaver
+0 -0
I live in the perpetually rainy northwest corner of the United States. So, no. *sighs*
I live in the perpetually rainy northwest corner of the United States. So, no. *sighs*
semiquaver
+0 -0
I live in the perpetually rainy northwest corner of the United States. So, no. *sighs*
I live in the perpetually rainy northwest corner of the United States. So, no. *sighs*
semiquaver
+0 -0
Holy shit, how did that doublepost? It's like Stephen Colbert just vomited all over the page. It's thoroughly unpleasant. I should just go hang out with my neighbor MR. COLIN MELOY OF THE DECEMBERISTS.
Holy shit, how did that doublepost? It's like Stephen Colbert just vomited all over the page. It's thoroughly unpleasant. I should just go hang out with my neighbor MR. COLIN MELOY OF THE DECEMBERISTS.
semiquaver
+0 -0
Dammit. He moved. At least I'm still pretty. ;-;
Dammit. He moved. At least I'm still pretty. ;-;
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
stop with the semicolons immediately
stop with the semicolons immediately
semiquaver
+0 -0
you will not banish my weeping emoticon
you will not banish my weeping emoticon
tragicone
+0 -0
Whoa, wait. Semiquaver is pretty? Well when did this happen?
Whoa, wait. Semiquaver is pretty? Well when did this happen?
aelindil
+0 -0
If you mean the general Seattle-Tacoma metropolitan area, then I certainly share your sighs and similar emotions.
Maybe ju an' me are AMIGOS!
If you mean the general Seattle-Tacoma metropolitan area, then I certainly share your sighs and similar emotions.
Maybe ju an' me are AMIGOS!
semiquaver
+0 -0
Sorry. Portland.
Sorry. Portland.
aelindil
+0 -0
Oh right, the slightly warmer and hipster-ful version of Seattle. Also I assume less drug/gang warring.
Yay Tacoma.
Oh right, the slightly warmer and hipster-ful version of Seattle. Also I assume less drug/gang warring.
Yay Tacoma.
shutup_shutup
+0 -0
The funny thing here is that you seem to be saying that Seattle is not hipster-ful. I mean, I know hipsters love Portland and all, but they also love living up here and bitching about not living in Seattle Junior.
The funny thing here is that you seem to be saying that Seattle is not hipster-ful. I mean, I know hipsters love Portland and all, but they also love living up here and bitching about not living in Seattle Junior.
aelindil
+0 -0
As far as I can tell, Seattle is currently morphing into some entirely different sort of animal where the hipsters are actually semi-cool 30-somethings working in some technological field. Seriously, if you walk around downtown (not counting Capitol Hill, that place is littered with teh hipstaz), you're 10 times more likely to see young professionals with tattoos wearing suits and chatting about Shiny Gadget du jour than actual hipsters.
Also there is a startling lack of the faux-lumberjacks that populated the area way back in the day. I miss those particularly.
As far as I can tell, Seattle is currently morphing into some entirely different sort of animal where the hipsters are actually semi-cool 30-somethings working in some technological field. Seriously, if you walk around downtown (not counting Capitol Hill, that place is littered with teh hipstaz), you're 10 times more likely to see young professionals with tattoos wearing suits and chatting about Shiny Gadget du jour than actual hipsters.
Also there is a startling lack of the faux-lumberjacks that populated the area way back in the day. I miss those particularly.
shutup_shutup
+0 -0
I suggest Ballard for faux-lumberjacks - a word which I totally just wrote as lumberjokes. True fact.
I suggest Ballard for faux-lumberjacks - a word which I totally just wrote as lumberjokes. True fact.
aelindil
+3 -0
That there is a term that needs to be coined, pronto .
"Oh my gawd Susie, did you see that guy over there with the beard? What a lumberjoke!"
That there is a term that needs to be coined, pronto .
"Oh my gawd Susie, did you see that guy over there with the beard? What a lumberjoke!"
shutup_shutup
+0 -0
I support this initiative lots.
I support this initiative lots.
tragicone
+0 -0
who wait. Semiquaver is gay? well when did this happen?
who wait. Semiquaver is gay? well when did this happen?
aelindil
+0 -0
I don't know, but it broke my poor little heart.
I don't know, but it broke my poor little heart.
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
he has known since he was twel...you know what? fuck it.
he has known since he was twel...you know what? fuck it.
semiquaver
+0 -0
exactly correct.
you know what looking back on all this i'm stunned at how few lames were incurred. some people must not have been paying attention.
exactly correct.
you know what looking back on all this i'm stunned at how few lames were incurred. some people must not have been paying attention.
boredom_man
+0 -0
are you the gay computer programmer who wore the big golden cock in the yes men movie because um he was a gay computer programmer and that would be hugely rad
are you the gay computer programmer who wore the big golden cock in the yes men movie because um he was a gay computer programmer and that would be hugely rad
professorhazard
+2 -0
I always assumed _THE_BANDIT_ was one of the Achewood characters - most likely Lie Bot.
I always assumed _THE_BANDIT_ was one of the Achewood characters - most likely Lie Bot.
xiaomimi
+4 -0
#Hiram_robs_you_and_somehow_gets_you_arrested_for_buggery
#Hirams_foreign_ties_get_you_in_trouble_with_the_British_government
#Hiram_robs_you_and_somehow_gets_you_arrested_for_buggery
#Hirams_foreign_ties_get_you_in_trouble_with_the_British_government
fermatprime
+0 -0
Mega-chubbs for the Turing reference.
Mega-chubbs for the Turing reference.
belgand
+0 -0
Are we absolutely certain that the programmer is a man? Are we certain that Hiram is gay and not just bi? These questions were not answered yet.
Are we absolutely certain that the programmer is a man? Are we certain that Hiram is gay and not just bi? These questions were not answered yet.
nurdbot
+0 -0
A comment left by nurdbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Circadin, peterjoel, slalvation, Darthemed)
A comment left by nurdbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Circadin, peterjoel, slalvation, Darthemed)
djwhiterabbit
+4 -0
but if molly plays this, then hiram is not gay.
though he is still the lady of the relationship.
but if molly plays this, then hiram is not gay.
though he is still the lady of the relationship.
overmedicated
+0 -0
A comment left by overmedicated was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by bug, NigelChaos, durrr)
A comment left by overmedicated was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by bug, NigelChaos, durrr)
tropicana
+6 -0
Well, we don't play computer games.
Or read webcomics about anthropomorphic cats.
Of course not.
Well, we don't play computer games.
Or read webcomics about anthropomorphic cats.
Of course not.
bixschmix
+7 -0
No, never! Girls only like dresses and makeup and shopping and manicures!
No, never! Girls only like dresses and makeup and shopping and manicures!
nigelchaos
+0 -0
Win.
Win.
charchar
+3 -0
Don't forget cookie dough and feelings!
Don't forget cookie dough and feelings!
autrepoupee
+3 -0
and comparing breasts and pillow fights and cake batter
and comparing breasts and pillow fights and cake batter
bixschmix
+2 -0
I like to tell boys that when we girls get together alone we always have pillow fights in our lingerie. It's good fun.
I like to tell boys that when we girls get together alone we always have pillow fights in our lingerie. It's good fun.
charchar
+1 -0
Wait, are we not supposed to for real? so that's why no-one plays with me anymore...
Wait, are we not supposed to for real? so that's why no-one plays with me anymore...
semiquaver
+2 -0
Comparing breasts and pillow fights and cake batter? Why would you compare pillow fights?
Comparing breasts and pillow fights and cake batter? Why would you compare pillow fights?
autrepoupee
+1 -0
For critiquing purposes, of course. At the annual "No Boyz Allowed!" convention we go over the tapes, to better ourselves, and our soft, downy fights.
For critiquing purposes, of course. At the annual "No Boyz Allowed!" convention we go over the tapes, to better ourselves, and our soft, downy fights.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Sometimes we practice kissing, too. And, of course, we have to raise money with a bikini-clad car wash. I mean, we have to buy the cookie dough somehow ...
Sometimes we practice kissing, too. And, of course, we have to raise money with a bikini-clad car wash. I mean, we have to buy the cookie dough somehow ...
tropicana
+1 -0
STOP GIVING AWAY THE SECRETS! WITHOUT THEM, WE WILL HAVE NO POWER!
STOP GIVING AWAY THE SECRETS! WITHOUT THEM, WE WILL HAVE NO POWER!
bixschmix
+6 -0
...Says the ejaculating penis.
...Says the ejaculating penis.
tropicana
+2 -0
You... you leave that out of this.
You... you leave that out of this.
parity
+2 -0
hiram is expensive
hiram is expensive
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by waldo913, fuckyoufriday, Boredom_Man)
A comment left by songbirdspectre was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by waldo913, fuckyoufriday, Boredom_Man)
cousinted
+0 -0
Soundbase sounds like some sort of digital codpiece to me.
Soundbase sounds like some sort of digital codpiece to me.
cousinted
+0 -1
Jesus Christ, that's like the third time I've misspelled something today, what is wrong with me?
Jesus Christ, that's like the third time I've misspelled something today, what is wrong with me?
professorhazard
+13 -0
Diabetes.
Diabetes.
speedwell
+6 -0
#Hiram_is_smothering_the_bandit
#Hiram_is_smothering_the_bandit
the_stoned_one
+5 -0
is smothering the bandit a sexual position?
i think ive tried that one
its hard on the shins though
is smothering the bandit a sexual position?
i think ive tried that one
its hard on the shins though
c_dizzle
+0 -0
I'm giving this a 5 - shamelessly - because of mentioning corgis.
I'm giving this a 5 - shamelessly - because of mentioning corgis.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Psst... c_dizzle is the Queen of England.
Psst... c_dizzle is the Queen of England.
aelindil
+0 -0
She's actually got a dorgi now... it is a cross between a dachshund and a corgi. Pretty cute, fairly elongated.
She's actually got a dorgi now... it is a cross between a dachshund and a corgi. Pretty cute, fairly elongated.
fuckalgebra
+0 -0
This arc was how I introduced one of my friends to Achewood. The good news is she is now fully on the Achewood train. The bad news? Well, let's just say it was late, there was energy drink, and we'd been up for ages writing deliberately bad fanfiction, so in the end, we came up with this:
"OREGON TRAIL: THE MOVIE. Starring Alan Rickman as Hiram the sexually aggressive blacksmith."
Yeah. I'm gonna have to plead guilty on that one.
This arc was how I introduced one of my friends to Achewood. The good news is she is now fully on the Achewood train. The bad news? Well, let's just say it was late, there was energy drink, and we'd been up for ages writing deliberately bad fanfiction, so in the end, we came up with this:
"OREGON TRAIL: THE MOVIE. Starring Alan Rickman as Hiram the sexually aggressive blacksmith."
Yeah. I'm gonna have to plead guilty on that one.
catgrl131
+1 -0
fuckalgebra, If you don't post this you are no longer my friend.
fuckalgebra, If you don't post this you are no longer my friend.
semiquaver
+0 -0
Is he still your friend?
Is he still your friend?
fuckalgebra
+0 -0
I'm heck of sorry, dogg, we were inspired by bad fanfic but we never actually wrote it...but I suppose we COULD. Hmmm.
I'm heck of sorry, dogg, we were inspired by bad fanfic but we never actually wrote it...but I suppose we COULD. Hmmm.
ford
+1 -0
"Officer McClane, do you care for a cocktail while you wait?"
"Officer McClane, do you care for a cocktail while you wait?"
tekende
+3 -0
#Hiram_doesnt_understand_television_and_spends_all_evening_hiding_behind_the_couch
#Hiram_has_a_headache_like_every_damn_night_these_days
#Hirams_ex_keeps_leaving_messages_on_the_voicemail
#Hiram_doesnt_understand_television_and_spends_all_evening_hiding_behind_the_couch
#Hiram_has_a_headache_like_every_damn_night_these_days
#Hirams_ex_keeps_leaving_messages_on_the_voicemail
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
hiding what? How did assetbar cut something off like that...
hiding what? How did assetbar cut something off like that...
tekende
+0 -0
Well, shit. I don't remember what it said. Probably something like "hiding from the people in the glowing box". But I'm not sure.
Wait, maybe it said "hiding behind the couch". Yes, I'm pretty sure that was it.
Well, shit. I don't remember what it said. Probably something like "hiding from the people in the glowing box". But I'm not sure.
Wait, maybe it said "hiding behind the couch". Yes, I'm pretty sure that was it.
Hiram is the quintessential example of a poorly coded boyfriend.