catjumpjohn
+0 -0
This strip marks the first time that I've ever thought of my car keys as poon hounds.
This strip marks the first time that I've ever thought of my car keys as poon hounds.
fooker
+0 -0
Comment left by fooker ignored.
Comment left by fooker ignored.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But what about the airport?
But what about the airport?
davey-boy
+0 -0
What about the airport? I didn't hear anything?
What about the airport? I didn't hear anything?
gormster
+0 -0
No, no, it was the airport story. If you remember, the girl in the airport story was indeed the girl he introduced to Achewood, and she did end up banging some bass player named Pete.
No, no, it was the airport story. If you remember, the girl in the airport story was indeed the girl he introduced to Achewood, and she did end up banging some bass player named Pete.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I tells ya, I didn't hear anything. Only wind...
I tells ya, I didn't hear anything. Only wind...
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Auto ignore: Confusing folks since like a few weeks back when it was introduced.
Auto ignore: Confusing folks since like a few weeks back when it was introduced.
brokebackmark
+5 -0
my keys auto ignore me all the time.
what kills me the most is that i myself introduced my keys to auto ignoring.
i introduced them to it at the airport.
my keys auto ignore me all the time.
what kills me the most is that i myself introduced my keys to auto ignoring.
i introduced them to it at the airport.
baryonyx
+2 -0
I find it irritating when my keys ignore my auto, especially when I am already late.
I find it irritating when my keys ignore my auto, especially when I am already late.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Fooker is played by Randall Munroe. Problem solved.
Fooker is played by Randall Munroe. Problem solved.
gormster
+3 -1
That doesn't solve anything, since Fooker is a tool and Randall Munroe is a genius.
That doesn't solve anything, since Fooker is a tool and Randall Munroe is a genius.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
sje46
+0 -0
https://xkcd.com/462/
This is what he was referencing.
https://xkcd.com/462/
This is what he was referencing.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Thanks. I didn't really want to provide a link, or proof that I read xkcd on a daily basis and really enjoy it.
If it wasn't for xkcd I would have never found Achewood SO THERE.
Thanks. I didn't really want to provide a link, or proof that I read xkcd on a daily basis and really enjoy it.
If it wasn't for xkcd I would have never found Achewood SO THERE.
sje46
+0 -0
Same with me.
Same with me.
sje46
+0 -0
Wow. A chubby for calling Mr. Monroe a genius.
Wow. A chubby for calling Mr. Monroe a genius.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Don't forget, lil' buddy, thems fightin' words in these thar parts.
Don't forget, lil' buddy, thems fightin' words in these thar parts.
sje46
+0 -0
And this is why I'm surprised.
And this is why I'm surprised.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Guys, seriously. Come on. Not cool.
Guys, seriously. Come on. Not cool.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Yeah totally not cool to enjoy other forms of entertainment besides Achewood SO NOT COOL GUYS.
Yeah totally not cool to enjoy other forms of entertainment besides Achewood SO NOT COOL GUYS.
hoboninja
+0 -0
No, that's not what I'm saying. Just have some taste is all.
No, that's not what I'm saying. Just have some taste is all.
sje46
+0 -0
Be aware that I never actually said I liked xkcd on this thread. (Even though I do.)
Be aware that I never actually said I liked xkcd on this thread. (Even though I do.)
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Actually I think you did. A couple strips back there was a brutal war between you, me, and others where we (you and me) tried to argue for the relevance and humor in Dinosaur Comics and xkcd, respectively.
There was much bloodshed.
Actually I think you did. A couple strips back there was a brutal war between you, me, and others where we (you and me) tried to argue for the relevance and humor in Dinosaur Comics and xkcd, respectively.
There was much bloodshed.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I can respect Dinosaur Comics. That is creative minimalism. Xkcd however, has never felt creative, funny, or original really.
I can respect Dinosaur Comics. That is creative minimalism. Xkcd however, has never felt creative, funny, or original really.
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah, I did then, but not on this thread.
Yeah, I did then, but not on this thread.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Says the guy with the Nedroid avatar.
Okay, it's cute. But is it funny?
Says the guy with the Nedroid avatar.
Okay, it's cute. But is it funny?
boyd
+0 -0
yes.
yes.
tekende
+0 -0
Nedroid's comics are hilarious. So is Dinosaur Comics.
Nedroid's comics are hilarious. So is Dinosaur Comics.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Yes, Nedroid is very hilarious. Did you see his 200 bad comics? Each one was better than xkcd.
Yes, Nedroid is very hilarious. Did you see his 200 bad comics? Each one was better than xkcd.
tekende
+0 -0
The 200 Bad Comics thing was totally awesome. My favorite was the one where the swimming pool was on fire. I laughed so hard I cried.
The 200 Bad Comics thing was totally awesome. My favorite was the one where the swimming pool was on fire. I laughed so hard I cried.
hoboninja
+0 -0
Gotta love taco night, too. Bonk.
Gotta love taco night, too. Bonk.
jesler729
+0 -0
XKCD is really very awful
XKCD is really very awful
davey-boy
+0 -0
I have never found it to be 'shit the bed' awful, and occasionally, it can be quite clever. Could do without the graphs, though.
I have never found it to be 'shit the bed' awful, and occasionally, it can be quite clever. Could do without the graphs, though.
stereo
+0 -0
Sorry guys xkcd is Randall's attempt to cure me of my graph addiction. It hasn't worked yet. Still bangin those graphs.
Sorry guys xkcd is Randall's attempt to cure me of my graph addiction. It hasn't worked yet. Still bangin those graphs.
sweetlips
+3 -0
Hey guys, did you ever realize we are nature?
Hey guys, did you ever realize we are nature?
baryonyx
+13 -0
Would you kindly designate what is not nature?
Would you kindly designate what is not nature?
gormster
+13 -1
Oh my god. Avatar comment synergy doubleplusgoodthinkcombo.
Oh my god. Avatar comment synergy doubleplusgoodthinkcombo.
tommycrashwreck
+0 -0
You just put a big old smile on my face.
You just put a big old smile on my face.
wonelove
+0 -0
doublepluschubby
doublepluschubby
saulbellow
+0 -0
If you google "avatar comment synergy" OR "comment avatar synergy", ONLY achewood comments come up. It's unclear who was the first to use it -- first of all because the two oldest comments google shows are marked "two months ago", and second because I'm pretty sure Google isn't showing them all.
Anyone care to spend a couple hours looking into this for me? TYIA
If you google "avatar comment synergy" OR "comment avatar synergy", ONLY achewood comments come up. It's unclear who was the first to use it -- first of all because the two oldest comments google shows are marked "two months ago", and second because I'm pretty sure Google isn't showing them all.
Anyone care to spend a couple hours looking into this for me? TYIA
saulbellow
+1 -0
Edit -- it appears that "icon-comment synergy" was also in play earlier. Also, the dubious term "avacon" might have been substituted at some point.
Edit -- it appears that "icon-comment synergy" was also in play earlier. Also, the dubious term "avacon" might have been substituted at some point.
aperson
+1 -0
OMG Saul Bellow would so research this kind of thing via google.
I think surely this term was first applied to the Stephen Fryian stylings (or at least, mildly urbane stylings, let's not get carried away here) of spinynorman?
OMG Saul Bellow would so research this kind of thing via google.
I think surely this term was first applied to the Stephen Fryian stylings (or at least, mildly urbane stylings, let's not get carried away here) of spinynorman?
saulbellow
+0 -0
Koennte sein
Koennte sein
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Hey, play nice with my neologism! I started the debate that led to these variations on iconavatar, et al.
Quote:
the dubious term "avacon"
Hey, play nice with my neologism! I started the debate that led to these variations on iconavatar, et al.
baryonyx
+3 -0
No, this would be perfect avatar/comment synergy:
No, this would be perfect avatar/comment synergy:
hoboninja
+0 -0
Would you kindly...
Would you kindly...
steev_dayv
+0 -0
...pick up that wrench?
...pick up that wrench?
baryonyx
+0 -0
...foind eh croo-bahr, ehr sumthin?
...foind eh croo-bahr, ehr sumthin?
speccer
+0 -0
Don't tell me that's a spoiler. I haven't gotten that far yet...
Don't tell me that's a spoiler. I haven't gotten that far yet...
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I got it wrong...it was supposed to be, "Would you kindly pick up that two-way radio?" The first thing you get to do other than swim and walk in the game.
I got it wrong...it was supposed to be, "Would you kindly pick up that two-way radio?" The first thing you get to do other than swim and walk in the game.
speccer
+0 -0
No, I meant if Andrew Ryan and Atlas were the same person. I mean, I heard there was a twist to the game. As I look and think about it, I'm glad that's probably not the case.
No, I meant if Andrew Ryan and Atlas were the same person. I mean, I heard there was a twist to the game. As I look and think about it, I'm glad that's probably not the case.
baryonyx
+0 -0
No, no no. They are not. The twist is intact. But be careful, someone posted it somewhere on Assetbar and that severely dampened it for me. Stay away from the Evaliant III/Mr. Teal arc comments.
No, no no. They are not. The twist is intact. But be careful, someone posted it somewhere on Assetbar and that severely dampened it for me. Stay away from the Evaliant III/Mr. Teal arc comments.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
[[disagreement box]]
[[disagreement box]]
caktuar
+0 -0
Man, Bioshock came out like a year ago. Are you playing like 45 seconds a day
Man, Bioshock came out like a year ago. Are you playing like 45 seconds a day
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
some people (like me) ain't had a chance to play it until recently. sure, it's also on Windows but my computer is rather aged so it wouldn't have been any fun to play. same with Halflife 2. i think i'm near the end...same with Portal. GLADoS says that the test is near its conclusion..which disappoints me. game was too fun to be so short...
some people (like me) ain't had a chance to play it until recently. sure, it's also on Windows but my computer is rather aged so it wouldn't have been any fun to play. same with Halflife 2. i think i'm near the end...same with Portal. GLADoS says that the test is near its conclusion..which disappoints me. game was too fun to be so short...
baryonyx
+0 -0
Same here, same here. Only recently acquired a computer powerful enough to run Bioshock and Orange Box. Half Life blew my mind, and I was bettered by it.
Same here, same here. Only recently acquired a computer powerful enough to run Bioshock and Orange Box. Half Life blew my mind, and I was bettered by it.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i'd purchased HL2 for my pc but playing with most of the visuals on Medium quality and still waiting for very long loads wasn't my cuppa tea and really disappointing..besides the glorious water effects. seriously. love CG water. damp.
(along the same vein, who wants to buy a pc copy of Unreal Tournament 3? same issue.)
i'd purchased HL2 for my pc but playing with most of the visuals on Medium quality and still waiting for very long loads wasn't my cuppa tea and really disappointing..besides the glorious water effects. seriously. love CG water. damp.
(along the same vein, who wants to buy a pc copy of Unreal Tournament 3? same issue.)
sweetlips
+3 -0
Best water effects in video game history= The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker.
Fuck you, I'm right.
Best water effects in video game history= The Legend of Zelda: Windwaker.
Fuck you, I'm right.
kamet
+0 -0
Fuck me, you are right.
Fuck me, you are right.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
CORRECT.
CORRECT.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
seriously. love CG clits. moist.
seriously. love CG clits. moist.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
OH man, I have it (HL2) for Xbox360.
OH man, I have it (HL2) for Xbox360.
rananda
+4 -0
Larry Borgioni fulfilled a lifelong dream when he opened The Cheetah Room.
Larry Borgioni fulfilled a lifelong dream when he opened The Cheetah Room.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
Imagine what he must feel like when his keys leap into his hands every morning, jittering and chinging in his hands, ready to open up those very Gates of Paradise.
Imagine what he must feel like when his keys leap into his hands every morning, jittering and chinging in his hands, ready to open up those very Gates of Paradise.
redphillip
+0 -0
And imagine his horror when dream becomes nightmare -- on opening the club one evening finds the staff has been replaced by real cheetahs, hungry irritated cheetahs with a taste for flabby inebriated horndogs.
And imagine his horror when dream becomes nightmare -- on opening the club one evening finds the staff has been replaced by real cheetahs, hungry irritated cheetahs with a taste for flabby inebriated horndogs.
senorspoof
+0 -0
A comment left by senorspoof was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, ellameno, apocowarg, HamScout, fallow_fields, tibcoolbreeze, dwodles, LordHumungus, snidedk, hellsfruition, waldo913, Sweetlips, rckd, blueshoc12, coffeecoaster, johnald, Firehawk, tripleG, missania, jaypage, Jeet, BlueLoggy, aHatOfPig, mystkmanat, sje46, whoppin, AtlanticCity, Wolfslice, colorlessness, ubersplat, Frankreich, Tipist, nickb285)
A comment left by senorspoof was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, ellameno, apocowarg, HamScout, fallow_fields, tibcoolbreeze, dwodles, LordHumungus, snidedk, hellsfruition, waldo913, Sweetlips, rckd, blueshoc12, coffeecoaster, johnald, Firehawk, tripleG, missania, jaypage, Jeet, BlueLoggy, aHatOfPig, mystkmanat, sje46, whoppin, AtlanticCity, Wolfslice, colorlessness, ubersplat, Frankreich, Tipist, nickb285)
possums
+4 -0
Xarj's BLOG you say?
Xarj's BLOG you say?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Tragic.
Tragic.
rckd
+3 -0
What's interesting about Alicia Keys is how I'd forgotten that she existed. What's irritating is how you've made me remember.
What's interesting about Alicia Keys is how I'd forgotten that she existed. What's irritating is how you've made me remember.
rowboat
+0 -0
A comment left by rowboat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rckd, colorlessness, Davey-Boy)
A comment left by rowboat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rckd, colorlessness, Davey-Boy)
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
Are you a kinky boy? Do you like it...you know...anally?
Are you a kinky boy? Do you like it...you know...anally?
coldfrog
+0 -0
He likes to look out a window when he gets his commodores.
He likes to look out a window when he gets his commodores.
gormster
+0 -0
Someone who has their spam-marking privileges (why don't I? what the hell is up with this system?) please, spam it away.
Someone who has their spam-marking privileges (why don't I? what the hell is up with this system?) please, spam it away.
tragicone
+0 -0
i don't even know if anyone has it anymore.
i don't even know if anyone has it anymore.
sje46
+0 -0
I do . ..
Do I now have POWER?
I do . ..
Do I now have POWER?
tripleg
+0 -0
yes. please engage.
yes. please engage.
invidious
+0 -0
You have power. Not REAL ULTIMATE POWER, but just plain ol' power.
You have power. Not REAL ULTIMATE POWER, but just plain ol' power.
farqussus
+0 -0
Why the hell does HE get it? Maaaaaaaaaann
Why the hell does HE get it? Maaaaaaaaaann
aperson
+0 -0
It's probably caused by a terminal brain tumour.
It's probably caused by a terminal brain tumour.
farqussus
+0 -0
Will he be able to crack mirrors for a week too?
Will he be able to crack mirrors for a week too?
sje46
+0 -0
STOP TALKING ABOUT ME OR ILL LAME ALL OF YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE.
STOP TALKING ABOUT ME OR ILL LAME ALL OF YOU OUT OF EXISTENCE.
baryonyx
+0 -0
And find sickly missing children using telepathy, yes.
And find sickly missing children using telepathy, yes.
sje46
+0 -0
[confession:
Umm, when I actually tried to spam that I got the same message you go so umm I guess I'm a loser who doesn't actually deserve to live.]
*backs away in pure shame*
[confession:
Umm, when I actually tried to spam that I got the same message you go so umm I guess I'm a loser who doesn't actually deserve to live.]
*backs away in pure shame*
possums
+0 -0
I have a feeling this week is going to end with a full-panel shot of Cornelius getting it on with a prostitute or other lady of the street.
I have a feeling this week is going to end with a full-panel shot of Cornelius getting it on with a prostitute or other lady of the street.
speccer
+0 -0
The arc could also reintroduce the fine lady he met at the party.
The arc could also reintroduce the fine lady he met at the party.
possums
+2 -0
No, no, I'm pretty sure he's gonna get it on with a prostitute.
No, no, I'm pretty sure he's gonna get it on with a prostitute.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Cornelius...Cornelius I'm a prostitute.
Cornelius...Cornelius I'm a prostitute.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Oh damn...is Ray about to hook Connie up with a chicken hooker? Is her child...is it mixed race? Who knows?
Oh damn...is Ray about to hook Connie up with a chicken hooker? Is her child...is it mixed race? Who knows?
baryonyx
+0 -0
I support this notion. I'm all for the induction of female major characters that are not Molly. Bringing back Tina might have been an attempt at this that was scrapped due to all the negative reviews she garnered.
I support this notion. I'm all for the induction of female major characters that are not Molly. Bringing back Tina might have been an attempt at this that was scrapped due to all the negative reviews she garnered.
davey-boy
+0 -0
At this point, making a case for Onstad's female voice is harder than making a case for Dostoyevsky's. I would be happier just to enjoy Molly's set-ups or one-liners, as well as her far more fleshed out blog.
At this point, making a case for Onstad's female voice is harder than making a case for Dostoyevsky's. I would be happier just to enjoy Molly's set-ups or one-liners, as well as her far more fleshed out blog.
sje46
+0 -0
Dostoevsky's what?
Dostoevsky has a female voice?
I'm confused.
Dostoevsky's what?
Dostoevsky has a female voice?
I'm confused.
tripleg
+0 -0
pssst... *(the russian novelist does not write women well)
pssst... *(the russian novelist does not write women well)
sje46
+0 -0
I liked Liza from Notes From Underground.
I liked Liza from Notes From Underground.
possums
+0 -0
One woman of many.
Two dimensions for all of them.
One woman of many.
Two dimensions for all of them.
sje46
+0 -0
I should read more of him but whenever I try I can only get through the first two hundred pages.
I should read more of him but whenever I try I can only get through the first two hundred pages.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
No, it's just that women really were only two-dimensional back then. Ask Pogo.
No, it's just that women really were only two-dimensional back then. Ask Pogo.
usversusthem
+0 -0
And all the paintings were in black and white, as I recall.
And all the paintings were in black and white, as I recall.
tripleg
+0 -0
i believe it was the world that was in black and white, and the artists were crazy and used color.
i believe it was the world that was in black and white, and the artists were crazy and used color.
baryonyx
+0 -0
P.S. The Medieval Church was right about everything.
P.S. The Medieval Church was right about everything.
lexsenthur
+1 -0
I see you've been talking with Calvin's dad.
I see you've been talking with Calvin's dad.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and the color was still really grainy until like the seventies.
(stay classy, San Diego.)
"i'm not even mad. i'm impressed!"
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
and the color was still really grainy until like the seventies.
(stay classy, San Diego.)
"i'm not even mad. i'm impressed!"
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast.
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch.
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
sje46
+0 -0
I like this movie.
I like this movie.
kamet
+0 -0
DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!
DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!
maximus
+0 -0
maybe Onstad could collaborate with Gilbert Hernandez or something
maybe Onstad could collaborate with Gilbert Hernandez or something
baryonyx
+1 -0
And the alt text will be: "I have kept my word. If you can get off to this, that is your problem, not mine."
And the alt text will be: "I have kept my word. If you can get off to this, that is your problem, not mine."
autrepoupee
+4 -1
Aw man, let the old bear stick to his more cerebral pursuits, why does he have to get low and dirty with some harlot? Maybe he enjoys the simple pleasures of watching a lone Butterfly Hawk swoop down into the lilac blossom, itself swelling up with so much dew. Swooping in, swooping out. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always certain to sip more nectar, more and more.
Flowers are beautiful.
Aw man, let the old bear stick to his more cerebral pursuits, why does he have to get low and dirty with some harlot? Maybe he enjoys the simple pleasures of watching a lone Butterfly Hawk swoop down into the lilac blossom, itself swelling up with so much dew. Swooping in, swooping out. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but always certain to sip more nectar, more and more.
Flowers are beautiful.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I wouldn't follow through with that link unless you work at a botanist's shop or you are a gynecologist.
I wouldn't follow through with that link unless you work at a botanist's shop or you are a gynecologist.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
This is even better than those dirty rock formations I linked to the other week.
This is even better than those dirty rock formations I linked to the other week.
howl
+0 -0
But those were real.
But those were real.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Vaginas are real too
Vaginas are real too
howl
+0 -0
your point?
your point?
davey-boy
+4 -0
There was some doubt before.
There was some doubt before.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I still refuse to believe this until presented with concrete evidence.
I still refuse to believe this until presented with concrete evidence.
doctordung
+0 -0
Concrete vagina?
Concrete vagina?
atlanticcity
+0 -0
I don't know that's a bit of a stretch, I'm not sure if it's gonna slide.
I don't know that's a bit of a stretch, I'm not sure if it's gonna slide.
kickstart
+2 -0
That's what she said
That's what she said
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Oh, he was totally trying to set that one up. Still, good work.
Oh, he was totally trying to set that one up. Still, good work.
atlanticcity
+0 -0
Yes. Yes. I was. I feared it was a tad to subtle, but I should never underestimate the posters of Achewood.
Yes. Yes. I was. I feared it was a tad to subtle, but I should never underestimate the posters of Achewood.
kamet
+0 -0
I have been to that pool.
I know that place. I know it.
I have been to that pool.
I know that place. I know it.
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Biblically.
Biblically.
atlanticcity
+0 -0
I know this women, in a Biblical sense, and she ain't no nun.
I know this women, in a Biblical sense, and she ain't no nun.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
"This is even better than those dirty rock formations I linked to the other week." -achilleselbow
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Welcome to...The Internet
[imp]https://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d139/Lex_Senthur/psyeah.gif[/img]
"This is even better than those dirty rock formations I linked to the other week." -achilleselbow
Ladies and Gentlemen...
Welcome to...The Internet
[imp]https://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d139/Lex_Senthur/psyeah.gif[/img]
lexsenthur
+0 -0
[imp]https://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d139/Lex_Senthur/hmmmmmmm.gif[/img]
[imp]https://i34.photobucket.com/albums/d139/Lex_Senthur/hmmmmmmm.gif[/img]
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Goodness.
Goodness.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Is it strange that many of my typos would make sense if I were posting in longhand?
Is it strange that many of my typos would make sense if I were posting in longhand?
kickstart
+1 -0
CSI:Cerulean City
CSI:Cerulean City
sje46
+1 -0
I do not understand this Pokemon reference.
I do not understand this Pokemon reference.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
sje46! I choose you!
sje46! I choose you!
achilleselbow
+5 -0
Your attempts at summoning an imp were unsuccessful. You need to level up more.
Your attempts at summoning an imp were unsuccessful. You need to level up more.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
I'll be back by the end of the episode, and I will have learned a valuable lesson about growing up, and the human dignity that unites us all.
Also, BBcode.
I'll be back by the end of the episode, and I will have learned a valuable lesson about growing up, and the human dignity that unites us all.
Also, BBcode.
speccer
+1 -0
Your stern-but-fair mentor will guide you through a musical montage in your quest to learn BBcode.
Your stern-but-fair mentor will guide you through a musical montage in your quest to learn BBcode.
lexsenthur
+1 -0
Then, speccer demands from lex how to make a certain BBcode string. Lex good-naturedly says he just doesn%u2019t know. I mean, how could he? This is his first day! Christ!
Then, speccer demands from lex how to make a certain BBcode string. Lex good-naturedly says he just doesn%u2019t know. I mean, how could he? This is his first day! Christ!
baryonyx
+1 -0
Holding the successfully-embedded image aloft, Lex shouts to the roaring crowds:
"I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL!
I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS!
I...AM LEX FUCKING SENTHUR!"
Holding the successfully-embedded image aloft, Lex shouts to the roaring crowds:
"I AM A BEAUTIFUL ANIMAL!
I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS!
I...AM LEX FUCKING SENTHUR!"
sje46
+0 -0
*casts rarely used Lexsenthur be gone spell*
*casts rarely used Lexsenthur be gone spell*
sje46
+1 -1
This shows that I understand your reference.
This shows that I understand your reference.
sje46
+0 -0
Sure a lot of things happing at once,
Remind everyone what%u2019s going on (what%u2019s going on)
And when every shot you show a little improvement
Just show it all or it will take to long
That%u2019s called a montage (montage)
Ooh we want montage (montage)
Sure a lot of things happing at once,
Remind everyone what%u2019s going on (what%u2019s going on)
And when every shot you show a little improvement
Just show it all or it will take to long
That%u2019s called a montage (montage)
Ooh we want montage (montage)
sje46
+0 -0
Show a lot of things happening at once,
Remind everyone what's going on (what's going on)
And with every shot you show a little improvement
Just show it all or it will take too long
That's called a montage (montage)
Ooh we want montage (montage)
Everyone who has ever posted a lyric online can't spell, by definition.
Show a lot of things happening at once,
Remind everyone what's going on (what's going on)
And with every shot you show a little improvement
Just show it all or it will take too long
That's called a montage (montage)
Ooh we want montage (montage)
Everyone who has ever posted a lyric online can't spell, by definition.
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
There's your mistake, lad.
Quote:
[imp]
There's your mistake, lad.
davey-boy
+0 -0
If it isn't the gremlins, it's the imps. God damn it.
If it isn't the gremlins, it's the imps. God damn it.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
congratulations ubersplat, you are the guy who gave me my hundredth lame!
i am sorry you hate vaginas ubersplat,
i am very sorry that vaginas are lame
congratulations ubersplat, you are the guy who gave me my hundredth lame!
i am sorry you hate vaginas ubersplat,
i am very sorry that vaginas are lame
flazisismuss
+0 -0
Maybe he just hates flowers. I understand the visual similarity between vaginas and flowers, but vaginas are way better. But in defense of flowers, you can get 12 of them for $20 at Safeway.
Maybe he just hates flowers. I understand the visual similarity between vaginas and flowers, but vaginas are way better. But in defense of flowers, you can get 12 of them for $20 at Safeway.
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
At my Safeway, you can also get 12 vaginas for $20.
Wait, maybe my keys are trying to get me laid!
At my Safeway, you can also get 12 vaginas for $20.
Wait, maybe my keys are trying to get me laid!
sje46
+0 -0
Well actually they raised the price to 12/$24
:(
Well actually they raised the price to 12/$24
:(
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Vaginae! God, guys, we went over this.
Vaginae! God, guys, we went over this.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Some men cringe at the mention of the word. vagina.
Some men cringe at the mention of the word. vagina.
tragicone
+0 -0
Some of those are very hard to believe.
I mean, the second one is like a ladies parts on a flower. The analogy of the bee in a flower has never been so accurately portrayed.
Some of those are very hard to believe.
I mean, the second one is like a ladies parts on a flower. The analogy of the bee in a flower has never been so accurately portrayed.
telescreen
+0 -0
I felt I should lame you because I opened that in my university's library right between two chicks at adjacent computers. I thought I was about to see vaguely vaginal looking flowers a la the cover of that one Kings of Leon album. Instead I got actual vaginas photoshopped onto unlikely parts of flowers. Thanx. But I resisted the lame.
I felt I should lame you because I opened that in my university's library right between two chicks at adjacent computers. I thought I was about to see vaguely vaginal looking flowers a la the cover of that one Kings of Leon album. Instead I got actual vaginas photoshopped onto unlikely parts of flowers. Thanx. But I resisted the lame.
telescreen
+0 -0
Two things:
I realized that actually calling them labias is more accurate than vaginas.
Also,
Two things:
I realized that actually calling them labias is more accurate than vaginas.
Also,
sje46
+0 -2
It is more accurate, but still wrong.
Labia is already plural.
It is more accurate, but still wrong.
Labia is already plural.
telescreen
+0 -0
Labia is a word I do not use in any regular day conversation, and on especially good days, when I happen to find myself confronted by labia themselves, I can think of no time in which I would state their anatomical name.
Labia is a word I do not use in any regular day conversation, and on especially good days, when I happen to find myself confronted by labia themselves, I can think of no time in which I would state their anatomical name.
thegoblins
+0 -0
"I'm just going to quickly spread your labia" is a very unsettling thing for a doctor to say to a patient.
"I'm just going to quickly spread your labia" is a very unsettling thing for a doctor to say to a patient.
falseprophet
+3 -0
On the other hand, it is a very exciting thing when a patient says it to her doctor.
On the other hand, it is a very exciting thing when a patient says it to her doctor.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Heyo!
Heyo!
pogo
+0 -0
Your left labium seems sore.
I part your labia with my nose.
Your left labium seems sore.
I part your labia with my nose.
ford
+0 -0
pedantry corner
The visible portion of a woman's sex organ is actually called the vulva. The vagina is specifically the tube that goes to the uterus.
oh god my first post in like two weeks is a correction of ladypart terminology
pedantry corner
The visible portion of a woman's sex organ is actually called the vulva. The vagina is specifically the tube that goes to the uterus.
oh god my first post in like two weeks is a correction of ladypart terminology
woodenteeth
+0 -0
No one is suprised, really man, Assetbar!
No one is suprised, really man, Assetbar!
sje46
+0 -0
This is true.
This is true.
pogo
+0 -0
The vagina might seem tubular when you insert a rod-like object in it, but it actually has a more circular shape, hence the design of the diaphragm.
The vagina might seem tubular when you insert a rod-like object in it, but it actually has a more circular shape, hence the design of the diaphragm.
tekende
+0 -0
That's what she said.
That's what she said.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
'She' being my health teacher.
'She' being my health teacher.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
who is to say they wouldnt start lezzin out
georgia o keefe does that to women, too, i think
such is the beauty of vag wheren't they ain't supposed to be none
who is to say they wouldnt start lezzin out
georgia o keefe does that to women, too, i think
such is the beauty of vag wheren't they ain't supposed to be none
telescreen
+1 -0
I think showin ladies images of their reproductive organs and/or flowers is an ill-advised way to get them to lez out.
I think showin ladies images of their reproductive organs and/or flowers is an ill-advised way to get them to lez out.
hedonismbot
+6 -0
I dunno, I've had lots of luck with that old chestnut of placing my palms against each other and spreading my fingers, then having her do the same so I can make a delightful simulacrum of labia using our hands. Got me some mean head at an airport once
I dunno, I've had lots of luck with that old chestnut of placing my palms against each other and spreading my fingers, then having her do the same so I can make a delightful simulacrum of labia using our hands. Got me some mean head at an airport once
cailetshadow
+1 -0
There are so many people getting head at the airport these days that it is becoming a hassle. Getting head in the bathroom, getting head while getting a crappy 8$ cup of burnt ass Starbucks coffee, getting head while slowly rotating around on the baggage claim. Please people, if you or getting or giving head in the ticket line, at least slowly shuffle along while you work and help keep everybody moving.
There are so many people getting head at the airport these days that it is becoming a hassle. Getting head in the bathroom, getting head while getting a crappy 8$ cup of burnt ass Starbucks coffee, getting head while slowly rotating around on the baggage claim. Please people, if you or getting or giving head in the ticket line, at least slowly shuffle along while you work and help keep everybody moving.
stereo
+0 -0
Don't diss baggage claim head. A new sucker every minute!
Don't diss baggage claim head. A new sucker every minute!
tripleg
+0 -0
thank you for making me perverted, autrepoupee
thank you for making me perverted, autrepoupee
sje46
+1 -0
She corrupted my fagile psyche.
She corrupted my fagile psyche.
sje46
+1 -0
FRAGILE. WITH AN R.
FRAGILE. WITH AN R.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Fear not, Assetbar Philippe ...
Fear not, Assetbar Philippe ...
falseprophet
+7 -0
I'll protect you.
I'll protect you.
tripleg
+0 -0
verilee, i say unto thee, thou art not a false prophet; in sooth, thou art a true prophet, a prophet of heterosexuality.
verilee, i say unto thee, thou art not a false prophet; in sooth, thou art a true prophet, a prophet of heterosexuality.
sje46
+0 -0
You are so kind good sir.
You have pronounced me as a true straighto, and now my father needs not beat me anymore.
You are so kind good sir.
You have pronounced me as a true straighto, and now my father needs not beat me anymore.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
sure
sure
sje46
+5 -0
That was not a Freudian imgay.
That was not a Freudian imgay.
sje46
+0 -0
I mean slip!
I mean slip!
sje46
+0 -0
Are you Georgia O'Keefe?
Are you Georgia O'Keefe?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
Are you Georgie O' Queef ?
Are you Georgie O' Queef ?
sje46
+0 -0
Oooooohhhhh . . . .
Oooooohhhhh . . . .
sje46
+0 -0
And yes. Yes I am.
And yes. Yes I am.
clits
+0 -0
I LOVE FLOWERS. LOVE THEM.
I LOVE FLOWERS. LOVE THEM.
daidai
+0 -0
ITS A MOUSE
ITS A MOUSE
falseprophet
+0 -0
WELCOME, DAIDAI, TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
WELCOME, DAIDAI, TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW
daidai
+0 -0
I WASN'T READY I THOUGHT I WAS BUT CLEARLY I WASN'T
I WASN'T READY I THOUGHT I WAS BUT CLEARLY I WASN'T
drago25
+1 -0
My keys are crawling over to the counter where the bottle of Jameson's is. Good night, nature.
My keys are crawling over to the counter where the bottle of Jameson's is. Good night, nature.
bumpishound
+3 -0
Unleash ... the LOVE PUBLICAN
Unleash ... the LOVE PUBLICAN
invidious
+3 -0
Instant 5 for "beast with two backaches."
As a member of Assetbar's future elderly, I salute you.
Instant 5 for "beast with two backaches."
As a member of Assetbar's future elderly, I salute you.
davey-boy
+0 -0
I am sorry, but your membership has been revoked.
Now, try and get along with the rest of your day by not thinking about what, exactly, I meant by that.
I am sorry, but your membership has been revoked.
Now, try and get along with the rest of your day by not thinking about what, exactly, I meant by that.
mrclarinet
+0 -0
Agreed.
Alexei Sayle knows what the beast with two backaches is all about.
Agreed.
Alexei Sayle knows what the beast with two backaches is all about.
wingspan
+1 -0
Hopefully Ray and Beef will guide him toward someone whose underwear weighs less than three pounds.
Hopefully Ray and Beef will guide him toward someone whose underwear weighs less than three pounds.
contrasoma
+8 -0
The skull is green. This means something. This is important.
The skull is green. This means something. This is important.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Good call
Good call
rustmouth
+0 -0
yes, that IS unusual
yes, that IS unusual
tragicone
+0 -0
my word, you must have gotten an inch from your screen to see that.
At least, I did.
my word, you must have gotten an inch from your screen to see that.
At least, I did.
eatmorekix
+4 -0
for convenience:
for convenience:
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Green represents life. So while Cornelius is still kickin and still a bad-ass sans ass, he will be akin only to a sack of bones edged around with life. This is a Catastrophe and it obviously effects Beef.
Green represents life. So while Cornelius is still kickin and still a bad-ass sans ass, he will be akin only to a sack of bones edged around with life. This is a Catastrophe and it obviously effects Beef.
hamscout
+0 -0
naw, it's an oops in the layers...
as of 7pm, it's been changed to black...
Unless, the skull was created with a default of 3 chubbies...
naw, it's an oops in the layers...
as of 7pm, it's been changed to black...
Unless, the skull was created with a default of 3 chubbies...
theirateturk
+2 -0
You are an oops in the layers
You are an oops in the layers
tipist
+1 -0
I heard some guy made an oops in your girlfriend's layers.
I heard some guy made an oops in your girlfriend's layers.
hamscout
+17 -0
Oops...
Oops...
theirateturk
+0 -0
'TURKS
'TURKS
mystkmanat
+0 -0
anyone know how to make it so you can see wide pics like this on assetbar?
anyone know how to make it so you can see wide pics like this on assetbar?
invidious
+0 -0
It's a special thing only available to breast-men.
It's a special thing only available to breast-men.
tripleg
+0 -0
how does assetbar know ?
how does assetbar know ?
edwell
+7 -0
There's a "Breast Man" box you can tick in your profile. It only shows up if you're a breast man, though.
There's a "Breast Man" box you can tick in your profile. It only shows up if you're a breast man, though.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Howdy stranger. Nice to see ya.
Howdy stranger. Nice to see ya.
falseprophet
+0 -0
A Breast Man is given the option to slum it in a ghetto-booty if he wishes to.
A Breast Man is given the option to slum it in a ghetto-booty if he wishes to.
breastman
+0 -0
Did someone say my name?
Did someone say my name?
aperson
+0 -0
Goodness me, a Breastman. Are you of the Pennsylvania Breastmans?
Goodness me, a Breastman. Are you of the Pennsylvania Breastmans?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
GLEEEE!!!! He's back to get the family together! I told you he was real. All it took was Hamscout usurping his throne
GLEEEE!!!! He's back to get the family together! I told you he was real. All it took was Hamscout usurping his throne
sje46
+0 -0
Download assetbarrista.
Or open image in new tab.
Download assetbarrista.
Or open image in new tab.
hamscout
+0 -0
...or, the creator could have sized it correctly in P-shop.
Aww jeez oh pete! Now edwell's here, and I just feel like a fake .
...or, the creator could have sized it correctly in P-shop.
Aww jeez oh pete! Now edwell's here, and I just feel like a fake .
deadpool
+0 -0
What if it's a sign like the lone rollerskate?
What if it's a sign like the lone rollerskate?
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
It is a calavera verde Monday?
The Boffin has possessed the shingle?
Beef is getting Cornelius laid to face down his own fears of death?
It is a calavera verde Monday?
The Boffin has possessed the shingle?
Beef is getting Cornelius laid to face down his own fears of death?
davey-boy
+0 -0
Or did Chris Onstad forget to erase the tracing lines?
Or did Chris Onstad forget to erase the tracing lines?
johnald
+0 -0
'Mere mention of a popular automotive marque or dandy new singer'
Will this seriously work? I've been trying way to hard if this is all I needed to do.
'Mere mention of a popular automotive marque or dandy new singer'
Will this seriously work? I've been trying way to hard if this is all I needed to do.
saulbellow
+0 -0
Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooord!
Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooord!
farqussus
+0 -0
Hello there. Mika.
Hello there. Mika.
kickstart
+0 -0
Hey baby, have you driven a Ford lately?
Hey baby, have you driven a Ford lately?
jeet
+0 -0
Is this a new arc I smell?
Ha-haaaaaaawwwwww yeah!
Is this a new arc I smell?
Ha-haaaaaaawwwwww yeah!
lexsenthur
+3 -0
Man they tried this! Connie got shot down so much he thought it was flashback to the London Blitz!
Man they tried this! Connie got shot down so much he thought it was flashback to the London Blitz!
hamscout
+1 -0
Oh boy! Oh boy , I hope I score!!
Oh boy! Oh boy , I hope I score!!
tragicone
+0 -2
you are a very young lady.
Where did you get your internet license, I will want to report this.
you are a very young lady.
Where did you get your internet license, I will want to report this.
tripleg
+0 -0
no, that is the smell of the slime on the dancers' pole. new arc smells more nutmeggy
no, that is the smell of the slime on the dancers' pole. new arc smells more nutmeggy
sje46
+0 -0
My theory is that it's one huge arc that results in every character getting laid. This is part 2.
Do this, Onstad.
Do this.
My theory is that it's one huge arc that results in every character getting laid. This is part 2.
Do this, Onstad.
Do this.
hughw
+0 -0
but phillipe is only little!
but phillipe is only little!
hamscout
+0 -0
Phillipe is five.
... five inches from the floor!!!
Phillipe is five.
... five inches from the floor!!!
sje46
+0 -0
We haven't seen Ultrapeanut in a while . . . .
We haven't seen Ultrapeanut in a while . . . .
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Teodor needs it so bad, Onstad. He hasn't gotten laid since Achewood began.
Teodor needs it so bad, Onstad. He hasn't gotten laid since Achewood began.
falseprophet
+1 -0
Sorry, man, Teodor not getting laid is how Onstad solidifies the metaphor of Charlie Brown trying to kick the football. It just ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.
Sorry, man, Teodor not getting laid is how Onstad solidifies the metaphor of Charlie Brown trying to kick the football. It just ain't gonna happen in this lifetime.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
I guess Onstad will forever be down on small hung guys.
I guess Onstad will forever be down on small hung guys.
hedonismbot
+4 -0
I sure hope so, nobody else goes down on them
I sure hope so, nobody else goes down on them
kamet
+0 -0
It is so, so true,
Small peni are sad in sight.
Chubs to the pittance.
It is so, so true,
Small peni are sad in sight.
Chubs to the pittance.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Well hey there Kamet
How is this for a haiku?
I'm a tap that ass.
Well hey there Kamet
How is this for a haiku?
I'm a tap that ass.
kamet
+0 -0
I like yours better.
Ass-tapping more fun than head.
Jaw gets way too sore.
I like yours better.
Ass-tapping more fun than head.
Jaw gets way too sore.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Your ass never gets sore?
Your ass never gets sore?
hamscout
+13 -0
Poor Teodor.
Women snatchin' away the booty just before he's kickin' it...
Houseplant by his nightstand chewing up all his condoms...
Ugh.
Poor Teodor.
Women snatchin' away the booty just before he's kickin' it...
Houseplant by his nightstand chewing up all his condoms...
Ugh.
falseprophet
+1 -0
I like that little grunt you gave, like you jacked off and this suave piece of Photoshop buggery just came jizzin out.
Do it again.
I like that little grunt you gave, like you jacked off and this suave piece of Photoshop buggery just came jizzin out.
Do it again.
kickstart
+1 -0
I EAT LIGHTNING AND EJACULATE PHOTOSHOPS
I EAT LIGHTNING AND EJACULATE PHOTOSHOPS
hamscout
+8 -0
Ohhh, uhng...
KOODGE!
Ohhh, uhng...
KOODGE!
falseprophet
+0 -0
YES
YES
sje46
+0 -0
Poor Teo.
:(.
Poor Teo.
:(.
riazm
+0 -0
I am no expert, but surely strip clubs are not good places to pick up women?
Unless Beef is expecting Cornelius to pay for it.
I am no expert, but surely strip clubs are not good places to pick up women?
Unless Beef is expecting Cornelius to pay for it.
farqussus
+0 -0
If Cornelius is going to pay for it at a strip club, it is not going to be very good or with anyone very good, and I doubt Cornelius is quite willing to allow any old sloppy pair of flaps held in by a ham sack to smother his Johnson. If he is just going to be visually stimulated and ultimately frustrated I cannot see Cornelius being particularly gracious to his compadres.
If Cornelius is going to pay for it at a strip club, it is not going to be very good or with anyone very good, and I doubt Cornelius is quite willing to allow any old sloppy pair of flaps held in by a ham sack to smother his Johnson. If he is just going to be visually stimulated and ultimately frustrated I cannot see Cornelius being particularly gracious to his compadres.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
It's easy to get laid at a strip club. You just have to be willing to dress as a lady and take it in the can from horny men. Works like a charm, eh Pogo?
It's easy to get laid at a strip club. You just have to be willing to dress as a lady and take it in the can from horny men. Works like a charm, eh Pogo?
pogo
+2 -0
No can do-do, hedonbaby.
No can do-do, hedonbaby.
sje46
+0 -0
Hedonismbot makes me cry. But he is full of wisdom of the world, so I have to suffer through it.
Hedonismbot makes me cry. But he is full of wisdom of the world, so I have to suffer through it.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Before any of you call the cops, I don't make him cry in that way. He is five.
Before any of you call the cops, I don't make him cry in that way. He is five.
sje46
+1 -0
No, Achewood Philippe is five. Assetbar Philippe is nineteen. He is in college.
Now can I please take this diaper off? Five-year-olds don't even wear diapers.
No, Achewood Philippe is five. Assetbar Philippe is nineteen. He is in college.
Now can I please take this diaper off? Five-year-olds don't even wear diapers.
drskradley
+0 -0
They do when they are insinuated to take it in the can by Hedo as much as you.
They do when they are insinuated to take it in the can by Hedo as much as you.
hamscout
+0 -0
Chubby for "doo-doo can", pogo...
Chubby for "doo-doo can", pogo...
pogo
+0 -0
Merci, hammie.
Merci, hammie.
pantscomeoff
+9 -0
Roast Beef respects that they wear sincere trucker hats, not ironic ones.
Roast Beef respects that they wear sincere trucker hats, not ironic ones.
liesandperfidy
+1 -0
This is an EXTREMELY important point, as it separates those who truck from those who should be scrubbed from the earth.
This is an EXTREMELY important point, as it separates those who truck from those who should be scrubbed from the earth.
hamscout
+8 -0
A primer, for the uneducated:
A primer, for the uneducated:
tekende
+0 -0
Man, just look at that beard
He probably finds things in it sometimes
It is like finding the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks
Man, just look at that beard
He probably finds things in it sometimes
It is like finding the prize in a box of Cracker Jacks
speccer
+0 -0
All working on his truck, pulling his socket wrench out of his beard.
"Grah, wrong size bit." *thrusts hand deep into beard and searches a bit more* "There's tha damn 'leven-sixteent's."
All working on his truck, pulling his socket wrench out of his beard.
"Grah, wrong size bit." *thrusts hand deep into beard and searches a bit more* "There's tha damn 'leven-sixteent's."
meddle
+0 -0
I am the proprietor of a not entirely dissimilar beard. I found some weed in it the other night. Truly, this was a prize. Were Cracker Jack prizes more along these lines, I assume profits would increase even in these dire financial times.
I am the proprietor of a not entirely dissimilar beard. I found some weed in it the other night. Truly, this was a prize. Were Cracker Jack prizes more along these lines, I assume profits would increase even in these dire financial times.
kamet
+0 -0
This is so going up as a backup avataricon.
This is so going up as a backup avataricon.
tragicone
+0 -0
The last two i have held very mixed feelings for.
This one, however, is great. Old people sex is inherently funny.
The last two i have held very mixed feelings for.
This one, however, is great. Old people sex is inherently funny.
nicklon
+3 -0
until somebody dies
until somebody dies
woodenteeth
+1 -0
then it's hilarious.
then it's hilarious.
sje46
+1 -0
:(
My grandmother is old. That's not funny.
:(
My grandmother is old. That's not funny.
daidai
+0 -0
Her dying mid-sex is , however.
Her dying mid-sex is , however.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I dunno, it scared the hell outta me last time that happened. Maybe it was fun for the studio audience, but I was barely able to finish
I dunno, it scared the hell outta me last time that happened. Maybe it was fun for the studio audience, but I was barely able to finish
i_love_kate
+0 -0
"Hedonismbot back to queasiness-inducing top form." - The Guardian
"Hedonismbot back to queasiness-inducing top form." - The Guardian
invidious
+1 -0
I'm sure you think he just comes up with this stuff out of thin air, but I'm pretty sure that's a real Japanese game show I saw once. You had to do stunt jumps on a unicycle over a row of strippers, and if you muffed the landing (so to speak) you had to engage in coitus with the elderly.
Or something. It didn't make any sense. None of those shows do, and they're still better than 99% of the stuff American network television puts out.
My point being, hedonismbot really needs to work on that 360 into a cherry pick combo.
I'm sure you think he just comes up with this stuff out of thin air, but I'm pretty sure that's a real Japanese game show I saw once. You had to do stunt jumps on a unicycle over a row of strippers, and if you muffed the landing (so to speak) you had to engage in coitus with the elderly.
Or something. It didn't make any sense. None of those shows do, and they're still better than 99% of the stuff American network television puts out.
My point being, hedonismbot really needs to work on that 360 into a cherry pick combo.
speccer
+0 -0
That's why I go on assetbar (among other things) instead of watch television.
That's why I go on assetbar (among other things) instead of watch television.
stereo
+0 -0
The goal of the game is to projectile vomit into your partner's mouth. The team who can do this at the greatest separation with the least spillage gets to ride the unicycle. There are no winners.
The goal of the game is to projectile vomit into your partner's mouth. The team who can do this at the greatest separation with the least spillage gets to ride the unicycle. There are no winners.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
mine is in Heaven, now.
go away.
mine is in Heaven, now.
go away.
nicklon
+0 -0
i was old once too
i was old once too
ellameno
+1 -0
I see an arc coming that begins like an American Pie movie (horny, reeking of hormones and Old Spice) and ending like a film version of an Emily Post etiquette book (what we need more of is CLASS).
I see an arc coming that begins like an American Pie movie (horny, reeking of hormones and Old Spice) and ending like a film version of an Emily Post etiquette book (what we need more of is CLASS).
edwell
+37 -0
ALT TEXT: Dittman's review goes on for seventeen more sentences, all of which end in exclamation marks and six of which contain verbs.
ALT TEXT: Dittman's review goes on for seventeen more sentences, all of which end in exclamation marks and six of which contain verbs.
falseprophet
+0 -0
EDWELL
The Man has come back around.
EDWELL
The Man has come back around.
speccer
+0 -0
hamscout, you've kept his throne warm long enough.
Not that you ruled poorly in his absence.
hamscout, you've kept his throne warm long enough.
Not that you ruled poorly in his absence.
hamscout
+1 -0
I've always yielded to his greater talent, hoping only to someday glimpse a few rays of my own praise...
I've always yielded to his greater talent, hoping only to someday glimpse a few rays of my own praise...
i_love_kate
+2 -0
Sweet cherry coke. If Edwell had his own T.V. show, it would easily be good enough for Fox to cancel it after three to four seasons.
I theorise that the source of his power is a painted portrait under a sheet in the attic of his home. Everytime he photoshops something, the man in the picture produces a piece of work with a single flaw.
Sweet cherry coke. If Edwell had his own T.V. show, it would easily be good enough for Fox to cancel it after three to four seasons.
I theorise that the source of his power is a painted portrait under a sheet in the attic of his home. Everytime he photoshops something, the man in the picture produces a piece of work with a single flaw.
ahatofpig
+0 -0
And me without any chubbies left. Is sad. Is so sad. A virtual chubbie for you!
And me without any chubbies left. Is sad. Is so sad. A virtual chubbie for you!
pogo
+0 -0
Finally, a joke about someone older than me!
Finally, a joke about someone older than me!
mercuri0us
+0 -0
Some days, you just know you've got it. This is one of those days, edwell. A masterpiece.
Some days, you just know you've got it. This is one of those days, edwell. A masterpiece.
philipmarschall
+0 -0
A comment left by philipmarschall was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, AndrewofDOOM, randombeing, Deadpool, Carpetbag, Tucky, Telescreen, johnald, tripleG, SpinyNorman, mystkmanat, sje46, nickb285, ISeeDeadPixels)
A comment left by philipmarschall was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, AndrewofDOOM, randombeing, Deadpool, Carpetbag, Tucky, Telescreen, johnald, tripleG, SpinyNorman, mystkmanat, sje46, nickb285, ISeeDeadPixels)
achilleselbow
+6 -0
Remember kids: always log out after using Assetbar on a public computer!
Remember kids: always log out after using Assetbar on a public computer!
lexsenthur
+3 -0
Gentlemen, as stated the shit was, in fact, "cash", which, given the turbulent financial times and tight credit markets, is far more specific and definite in value than if the shit were simply "money." I move that we approve the bailout package, lest his ride go needlessly unpimped.
Gentlemen, as stated the shit was, in fact, "cash", which, given the turbulent financial times and tight credit markets, is far more specific and definite in value than if the shit were simply "money." I move that we approve the bailout package, lest his ride go needlessly unpimped.
telescreen
+0 -0
Judging from his previous comment history, that was definitely not posted by the actual owner of that account. Your commentary may be accurate.
Judging from his previous comment history, that was definitely not posted by the actual owner of that account. Your commentary may be accurate.
spinynorman
+4 -1
For a guy who doesn't care about people on the internet, you just wrote one hundred and sixty three words to people on the internet.
For a guy who doesn't care about people on the internet, you just wrote one hundred and sixty three words to people on the internet.
mattbeetee
+4 -1
You sound like you have a nice life! I hope everything pans out great for you in the future.
Just go and have a great time, Philip!
You sound like you have a nice life! I hope everything pans out great for you in the future.
Just go and have a great time, Philip!
jeet
+2 -0
I think the /b/ has a leak.
I think the /b/ has a leak.
autrepoupee
+3 -0
JEET YOU SHOULD NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS
JEET YOU SHOULD NOT KNOW WHAT THAT IS
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Seriously young lady, what a rotten application of one's self!
Seriously young lady, what a rotten application of one's self!
tragicone
+0 -0
That's what I said!
That's what I said!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
When I was your age, all we had was Rotten! And you know what, we were happy with that , thank you very much! Our shock images came with guffaws and wry commentary, not memes and masturbation!
Also, Rotten was like a drop in the bucket of nasty chum that /b/ is. Never have I seen such things, n e v e r . . .
When I was your age, all we had was Rotten! And you know what, we were happy with that , thank you very much! Our shock images came with guffaws and wry commentary, not memes and masturbation!
Also, Rotten was like a drop in the bucket of nasty chum that /b/ is. Never have I seen such things, n e v e r . . .
akadriver
+0 -0
Rotten is high class shock. Tristan Farnon is a genius.
Rotten is high class shock. Tristan Farnon is a genius.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Interestingly, the only thing I ever read on rotten.com was an article about The Shocker. Keep your horrible images of the dead, thanks.
Interestingly, the only thing I ever read on rotten.com was an article about The Shocker. Keep your horrible images of the dead, thanks.
tekende
+0 -0
Ah, yes. The Shocker.
Quite probably the lamest Spider-Man villain of them all.
Ah, yes. The Shocker.
Quite probably the lamest Spider-Man villain of them all.
sje46
+0 -0
Even I know what he's talking about.
Even I know what he's talking about.
tekende
+0 -0
I do too, but this is funnier.
I do too, but this is funnier.
daidai
+4 -0
RAR! I LOOK LIKE A MATTRESS!
RAR! I LOOK LIKE A MATTRESS!
autrepoupee
+0 -0
every few minutes i see this picture from Rotten, oh so many years ago:
It was like, a transsexual, I think. Or a very ugly woman, wearing a horrible black fright-wig, in a red fishnet bodysuit, and she, or he, had a lobster either inside, or right near their genitals.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about? The guy wasn't dead or anything, he just had a lobster next to his junk, which I think was tucked in or something.
every few minutes i see this picture from Rotten, oh so many years ago:
It was like, a transsexual, I think. Or a very ugly woman, wearing a horrible black fright-wig, in a red fishnet bodysuit, and she, or he, had a lobster either inside, or right near their genitals.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about? The guy wasn't dead or anything, he just had a lobster next to his junk, which I think was tucked in or something.
paperboy_2000
+3 -0
Lobster Junk.
Worst. Spider-Man Villain. Ever.
Lobster Junk.
Worst. Spider-Man Villain. Ever.
sje46
+0 -0
Huh?
Huh?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
Lobster:
one worse than Crabs.
Lobster:
one worse than Crabs.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Lobster Junk's super power is that his [hushhushhush] is shaped like a [hushhushhush] , only without the the shell.
Lobster Junk's super power is that his [hushhushhush] is shaped like a [hushhushhush] , only without the the shell.
tekende
+0 -0
Also he can insert his **** into his own *** while punching himself in the face.
Also he can insert his **** into his own *** while punching himself in the face.
odog
+1 -1
That should be reasonable. Assetbar is kind of a miniature /b/.
That should be reasonable. Assetbar is kind of a miniature /b/.
nerdinexile
+1 -2
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
*inhale*
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Seriously.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
*inhale*
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Seriously.
nerdinexile
+0 -1
(in before *I move away from the mic to breathe in*)
(in before *I move away from the mic to breathe in*)
speccer
+2 -0
Assetbar is in no way a miniature /b/. Every web community with a sense of humor has its similarities to it, yes, but we have boundaries . Except for hedonismbot.
Assetbar is in no way a miniature /b/. Every web community with a sense of humor has its similarities to it, yes, but we have boundaries . Except for hedonismbot.
sje46
+0 -1
And that poor soul Dr. Manflesh.
Where did he go?
I imagine him hitchhiking across Tibet, on the search for enlightenment.
And that poor soul Dr. Manflesh.
Where did he go?
I imagine him hitchhiking across Tibet, on the search for enlightenment.
woodenteeth
+12 -0
Dr. Manflesh Desires Enlightenment Incrementally.
Dr. Manflesh Desires Enlightenment Incrementally.
andyfaewatford
+1 -0
I don't know much about these internet phenomena, so went and looked up this /b/ thing of which you all speak.
Fuck me is it shit. I'm actually depressed now.
Honestly, words fail me...
I don't know much about these internet phenomena, so went and looked up this /b/ thing of which you all speak.
Fuck me is it shit. I'm actually depressed now.
Honestly, words fail me...
daidai
+0 -0
The Panthers just got owned yesterday. Sympathy chubby.
The Panthers just got owned yesterday. Sympathy chubby.
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Shit was SOOOOOO cash.
Shit was SOOOOOO cash.
deadpool
+1 -0
Delicious copypasta.
Delicious copypasta.
mystkmanat
+0 -0
There is no picture here. But that's okay, because it would probably just be a picture you stole off google images.
There is no picture here. But that's okay, because it would probably just be a picture you stole off google images.
ellameno
+0 -0
Is it wrong that I chubbied this? It was funny. Plus, for a person yelling at people on the internet, he had fantastic grammar. There were a few mistakes, but for God's sake, he used a semicolon. On top of it all, he provided us with a sweet catchphrase to work into conversation, which is a major thing in Achewood anyway.
In short, that shit was SO cash.
Is it wrong that I chubbied this? It was funny. Plus, for a person yelling at people on the internet, he had fantastic grammar. There were a few mistakes, but for God's sake, he used a semicolon. On top of it all, he provided us with a sweet catchphrase to work into conversation, which is a major thing in Achewood anyway.
In short, that shit was SO cash.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
Fun is fun and all, but I have to burst the bubble for people who just saw this the first time. It's an old meme. Not one of the better ones. It's much better when adapted to its target. Note some of the semi-clever morphs illustrated here:
https://encyclopediadramatica.com/So_cash
Fun is fun and all, but I have to burst the bubble for people who just saw this the first time. It's an old meme. Not one of the better ones. It's much better when adapted to its target. Note some of the semi-clever morphs illustrated here:
https://encyclopediadramatica.com/So_cash
ellameno
+0 -0
Shit. It's my first time. I must have been spending too much time banging pussy and whatnot to know about the dangers and pitfalls of the internet.
Sorry, guys.
Sorry.
Shit. It's my first time. I must have been spending too much time banging pussy and whatnot to know about the dangers and pitfalls of the internet.
Sorry, guys.
Sorry.
stereo
+0 -0
peeeeeee
peeeeeee
theguitarhero
+2 -0
You shouldn't pee when you are banging pussy.
You shouldn't do that AT ALL .
You shouldn't pee when you are banging pussy.
You shouldn't do that AT ALL .
sje46
+0 -0
I heard it was an effective form of birth control.
A girl actually asked my health teacher this once.
I heard it was an effective form of birth control.
A girl actually asked my health teacher this once.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I'm started to worry my girlfriend is developing a urine fetish. Unlike fooker I will not tell you the story.
But I did introduce her to Achewood IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
(Achewood is what I call my penis.)
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I'm started to worry my girlfriend is developing a urine fetish. Unlike fooker I will not tell you the story.
But I did introduce her to Achewood IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
(Achewood is what I call my penis.)
sje46
+0 -0
By uncle calls it Beverly.
By uncle calls it Beverly.
sje46
+1 -0
Not his, yours.
Not his, yours.
tekende
+0 -0
Nope, I have to know the story now. Tell the story, theguitarhero. Tell it.
Nope, I have to know the story now. Tell the story, theguitarhero. Tell it.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
SHE WAS SUCKING MY DICK AFTER I MADE URINE AND SHE SWEARS SHE COULD TASTE SOME AND IT WAS SWEET.
Now whenever we pee we have to ask if we can pee on the other, and we always make urine in front of each other, in the bathroom of course.
SHE WAS SUCKING MY DICK AFTER I MADE URINE AND SHE SWEARS SHE COULD TASTE SOME AND IT WAS SWEET.
Now whenever we pee we have to ask if we can pee on the other, and we always make urine in front of each other, in the bathroom of course.
uforgotpoland
+0 -0
All perfectly normal. I wouldn't worry about it.
All perfectly normal. I wouldn't worry about it.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
But just how cash was it?
But just how cash was it?
meddle
+0 -0
THIS ALL HAPPENED AT THE AIRPORT
THIS ALL HAPPENED AT THE AIRPORT
tekende
+0 -0
OH HOT
OH HOT
theguitarhero
+0 -0
FYI, she just finished blowing me, shit was SO cash.
FYI, she just finished blowing me, shit was SO cash.
pogo
+1 -0
Well, just try to cool this experimentation down before you reach the terminal hedonbot stage where she's on her knees is the bathtub and you're draining the weasel fullbore into her mouth.
Well, just try to cool this experimentation down before you reach the terminal hedonbot stage where she's on her knees is the bathtub and you're draining the weasel fullbore into her mouth.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If it is wrong to enjoy watching weasels pee on women, boy I don't wanna be right.
If it is wrong to enjoy watching weasels pee on women, boy I don't wanna be right.
stereo
+0 -0
If that is wrong, I guess I'll be seeing you all in Hell. I am putting the full blame on you guys for not informing me.
If that is wrong, I guess I'll be seeing you all in Hell. I am putting the full blame on you guys for not informing me.
speccer
+0 -1
I find it funny that he put "Thanks for listening." at the end.
"Shit was SO cash" is a pretty tired catchphrase, though.
I find it funny that he put "Thanks for listening." at the end.
"Shit was SO cash" is a pretty tired catchphrase, though.
speccer
+0 -0
Would you care to elaborate on the lame, odog?
If my last sentence of the above comment is the reason, allow me to clarify: I simply meant "tired" in the sense that it has been around for some time.
Would you care to elaborate on the lame, odog?
If my last sentence of the above comment is the reason, allow me to clarify: I simply meant "tired" in the sense that it has been around for some time.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, sorry. I thought you meant sleepy. I took offense to the assertion that a catchphrase would have a circadian rhythm.
(I didn't actually lame you)
Oh, sorry. I thought you meant sleepy. I took offense to the assertion that a catchphrase would have a circadian rhythm.
(I didn't actually lame you)
speccer
+0 -0
I know you didn't, because I did that trick to see who did. And it was odog. And I hope he didn't do it because he thought I lamed his earlier post. Because I didn't.
That was a horribly written post, me.
I know, I know.
I know you didn't, because I did that trick to see who did. And it was odog. And I hope he didn't do it because he thought I lamed his earlier post. Because I didn't.
That was a horribly written post, me.
I know, I know.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh. You say Odog in your post. Don't I feel unintelligent?
Oh. You say Odog in your post. Don't I feel unintelligent?
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Huh?
Quote:
Pic Related: It's me and my bitch
Huh?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Some things get lost in the translation. Such as pictures of peroxide-blonde twigs and jocks with heavily gelled hair and annoyingly good jawlines.
Some things get lost in the translation. Such as pictures of peroxide-blonde twigs and jocks with heavily gelled hair and annoyingly good jawlines.
invidious
+0 -0
Picture stolen from here:
https://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
Picture stolen from here:
https://www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com/
mattylite
+0 -0
Whew, there were really two ways I could've seen that one goin', but I'm really glad it was option A.
Whew, there were really two ways I could've seen that one goin', but I'm really glad it was option A.
kamet
+0 -0
Bret Michaels is douchbag of the month. Totally shoulda seen that coming.
Bret Michaels is douchbag of the month. Totally shoulda seen that coming.
falseprophet
+7 -0
Goddamn it he looks like he has half a scrotum stuck to his face.
Goddamn it he looks like he has half a scrotum stuck to his face.
invidious
+0 -0
That's the funniest comment I've read in two months. Chubby.
That's the funniest comment I've read in two months. Chubby.
pogo
+0 -0
Aww, I was in the mood for some actual douche-bag action. Especially since Loneal is gone.
Aww, I was in the mood for some actual douche-bag action. Especially since Loneal is gone.
cailetshadow
+0 -0
Hilarious. I just wish I could see the photo.
At least he's polite enough to capitalize the word "faggots".
Hilarious. I just wish I could see the photo.
At least he's polite enough to capitalize the word "faggots".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I too find myself in a more advisory role.
I too find myself in a more advisory role.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
Yes, roger her good, squire, roger her good !
Mmyes, rather.
Yes, roger her good, squire, roger her good !
Mmyes, rather.
wozzeck
+1 -0
Fondle her squarely.
Fondle her squarely.
quaga
+0 -0
you muft fondle her
you muft fondle her
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Is the fondling unfatisfactory?
Is the fondling unfatisfactory?
tripleg
+0 -0
yef, but the sondling waf fwell
yef, but the sondling waf fwell
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You just blew my mind so hard that I got the shivers.
You just blew my mind so hard that I got the shivers.
davey-boy
+0 -0
You fhould take a Zyrelax to calm your piff fhiver.
You fhould take a Zyrelax to calm your piff fhiver.
kamet
+0 -0
Gleemonex.
Gleemonex.
baryonyx
+1 -0
I used to get angsty over this idea, but I've more or less hit the Cornelius-stage on this issue at an alarmingly young age. Part of being the hardcore Transhumanist that I am.
I used to get angsty over this idea, but I've more or less hit the Cornelius-stage on this issue at an alarmingly young age. Part of being the hardcore Transhumanist that I am.
boredom_man
+0 -0
Are you saying that you're mellow because you're a transhumanist, or not getting any because you're a transhumanist?
Are you saying that you're mellow because you're a transhumanist, or not getting any because you're a transhumanist?
baryonyx
+0 -0
Yeah, both.
Yeah, both.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
when i am in my ghost-steampunk-victorian-era-robot body it won't matter anymore
when i am in my ghost-steampunk-victorian-era-robot body it won't matter anymore
baryonyx
+1 -0
Exactly. When we're all galaxy-sized webs of metallic limbs devouring stars and thinking as one, we're not going to be talking about who banged who back when we were monkeys.
Exactly. When we're all galaxy-sized webs of metallic limbs devouring stars and thinking as one, we're not going to be talking about who banged who back when we were monkeys.
kickstart
+3 -0
You'll all want me when I'm an Adrienne Barbeaubot!
You'll all want me when I'm an Adrienne Barbeaubot!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
D cups full of justice!
D cups full of justice!
stereo
+0 -0
You can't have laser eyes!
You can't have laser eyes!
deusoma
+0 -0
See if you can stop me.
See if you can stop me.
kamet
+0 -0
To the rescue!
To the rescue!
latterman
+5 -0
"Makin' whoopie"
"Bumpin' uglies"
"Playin' wit the ole gulliver a bit too much"
"The horizontal monster mash"
All felled in one swift blow and topped in the sexual euphemism hierarchy by Cornelius' "making the beast with two backaches". The man merely opens his mouth and urbandictionary.com's hits for the day swell by about seven million, the offices of Encyclopaedia Britannica suddenly look more like the NYSE...
"Makin' whoopie"
"Bumpin' uglies"
"Playin' wit the ole gulliver a bit too much"
"The horizontal monster mash"
All felled in one swift blow and topped in the sexual euphemism hierarchy by Cornelius' "making the beast with two backaches". The man merely opens his mouth and urbandictionary.com's hits for the day swell by about seven million, the offices of Encyclopaedia Britannica suddenly look more like the NYSE...
lazurus_t
+0 -0
Gettin' his william all sharp like shakeSPEARe
Gettin' his william all sharp like shakeSPEARe
ketelcat
+0 -0
Damn you, I just tried to flick your avatar off my screen. And this post also invalidates my one saying nobody had mentioned the beast with two backaches! Damn you to chubb, sir.
Damn you, I just tried to flick your avatar off my screen. And this post also invalidates my one saying nobody had mentioned the beast with two backaches! Damn you to chubb, sir.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Mad rutty is still on the board, though.
Mad rutty is still on the board, though.
morypcaina
+0 -0
I still prefer Mark E. Smith's "parallel crease -POW!" but this is #2
I still prefer Mark E. Smith's "parallel crease -POW!" but this is #2
doctorbaronking
+0 -0
This is my perfect Achewood strip; two cats trying to hook an aged bear up with strippers. A touch of class, and just what I needed to see myself through this Monday.
Thank you, Mr. Onstad. Please continue to do Monday strips.
This is my perfect Achewood strip; two cats trying to hook an aged bear up with strippers. A touch of class, and just what I needed to see myself through this Monday.
Thank you, Mr. Onstad. Please continue to do Monday strips.
eatmorekix
+3 -0
i just hope that i die while hugging, and not during a wine-drinking contest.
i just hope that i die while hugging, and not during a wine-drinking contest.
21echoes
+0 -1
well played, Baby Cakes.
well played, Baby Cakes.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I up for helping with either, just give me a jingle and tell me to either wear my drinking shirt or my hugging pants
I up for helping with either, just give me a jingle and tell me to either wear my drinking shirt or my hugging pants
falseprophet
+0 -0
Those are two mutually exlusive pieces of clothing.
When he wears one, he wears nothing else.
Those are two mutually exlusive pieces of clothing.
When he wears one, he wears nothing else.
speccer
+0 -0
And both are coincidentally invisible.
And both are coincidentally invisible.
daidai
+1 -0
...Dad?
...Dad?
vermy
+0 -0
A comment left by vermy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MortisInvictus, mystkmanat, mr_fahrenheit)
A comment left by vermy was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MortisInvictus, mystkmanat, mr_fahrenheit)
falseprophet
+2 -0
His mercury's all in retrograde.
His mercury's all in retrograde.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
I don't know why, but this strip made me think of my grandfather getting a lap dance in his Hoveround.
I don't know why, but this strip made me think of my grandfather getting a lap dance in his Hoveround.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Is it worse if this is an actual event that you just remembered, or a fictional image that you willingly conjured up?
Is it worse if this is an actual event that you just remembered, or a fictional image that you willingly conjured up?
baryonyx
+0 -0
Either he's a terrible individual, or his grandfather is.
Either he's a terrible individual, or his grandfather is.
ketelcat
+0 -0
I haven't read them all, but I didn't notice anyone commenting on the "beast with two backaches". Maybe it's an old saying and I'm catching up just now, but - hilarious!
I haven't read them all, but I didn't notice anyone commenting on the "beast with two backaches". Maybe it's an old saying and I'm catching up just now, but - hilarious!
c_dizzle
+0 -0
After his chest-tattoo scare, I doubt Cornelius will be up to whatever those keys have planned.
After his chest-tattoo scare, I doubt Cornelius will be up to whatever those keys have planned.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Before it, too, I would assume.
Before it, too, I would assume.
tripleg
+1 -0
the bear knows better than to listen to ray's keys.
the bear knows better than to listen to ray's keys.
woodenteeth
+2 -0
Kicking Keys for the Ketel. Familial Footwear for the Fiduciary.
Kicking Keys for the Ketel. Familial Footwear for the Fiduciary.
wozzeck
+4 -0
I have an old friend with which conversations often go exactly like this. Once he showed up on my door step, asking if I had "had food".
"No, I could eat", I replied.
"Let's go get some cheesesteaks, then", he suggested.
I agreed that cheesesteaks would be a fine idea, and so he drove us to Philadelphia.
I have an old friend with which conversations often go exactly like this. Once he showed up on my door step, asking if I had "had food".
"No, I could eat", I replied.
"Let's go get some cheesesteaks, then", he suggested.
I agreed that cheesesteaks would be a fine idea, and so he drove us to Philadelphia.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I would appreciate this story more if I knew how far away from Philadelphia you lived.
I would appreciate this story more if I knew how far away from Philadelphia you lived.
achilleselbow
+3 -0
It would be great if it were so far that they had to stop for non-cheesesteak food on the way.
It would be great if it were so far that they had to stop for non-cheesesteak food on the way.
falseprophet
+1 -0
It would be awesome if they ate each other on the way.
It would be awesome if they ate each other on the way.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Were they women for this story, because that would make your statement even hotter.
Were they women for this story, because that would make your statement even hotter.
wozzeck
+0 -0
We may very well have. Oh, to be a teenager again, seeking adventure in an '88 Honda Accord with a delightfully discrete exhaust leak.
We may very well have. Oh, to be a teenager again, seeking adventure in an '88 Honda Accord with a delightfully discrete exhaust leak.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
These keys have started something big, I hope.
These keys have started something big, I hope.
21echoes
+0 -0
this strip is unstoppable. wow.
this strip is unstoppable. wow.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I believe this day has already been and gone for me :(
I believe this day has already been and gone for me :(
lahnnabell
+0 -0
I can only say I wish I had a set of super-intuitive, sexually aroused keys. Oh the things I would do...
I can only say I wish I had a set of super-intuitive, sexually aroused keys. Oh the things I would do...
autrepoupee
+1 -0
gimme that toot-toot,
and lemme give ya that beep-beep
gimme that toot-toot,
and lemme give ya that beep-beep
falseprophet
+0 -0
Is this the remix edition
Of the song about pissin?
Is this the remix edition
Of the song about pissin?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
All night long
Drip drip drip
All night long
Drip drip drip
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
and now in this special TV offer, you'll also recieve the compilation "Pogo-a-go-go!" with your favorite hit, "PRO...S-T-A-T-E"
and now in this special TV offer, you'll also recieve the compilation "Pogo-a-go-go!" with your favorite hit, "PRO...S-T-A-T-E"
pogo
+0 -0
Quote:
Yeah! My very one oldies collection!
Quote:
"Pogo-a-go-go!"
Yeah! My very one oldies collection!
pogo
+0 -0
"own" -- shit!
"own" -- shit!
mnemonic
+0 -0
I like where this is going.
Namely, the naked lady place.
I like where this is going.
Namely, the naked lady place.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
You do realize these ladies will be animals, right?
You do realize these ladies will be animals, right?
pogo
+0 -0
I sure hope they're animals!
I sure hope they're animals!
sje46
+0 -0
Beastiality is a sin.
Beastiality is a sin.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
To quote a Billy, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
To quote a Billy, I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
awksedperl
+0 -0
Yeah, but you probably still cry with the saints, 'cause you're all *good* an' shit. All Virginia, making Billy wait.
As for myself, I cry with the sinners. Not sure how I screwed that up.
Yeah, but you probably still cry with the saints, 'cause you're all *good* an' shit. All Virginia, making Billy wait.
As for myself, I cry with the sinners. Not sure how I screwed that up.
sje46
+0 -0
Billy Shakespeare?
Billy Shakespeare?
awksedperl
+0 -0
No, sadly, "Billy" is Billy Joel. Specifically, to the song "Only the Good Die Young".
No, sadly, "Billy" is Billy Joel. Specifically, to the song "Only the Good Die Young".
nice-on-water
+0 -0
T'ain't nothing sad about Billy Joel in relation to Billy Shakes. Give me The Stranger over King Henry IV any day.
T'ain't nothing sad about Billy Joel in relation to Billy Shakes. Give me The Stranger over King Henry IV any day.
awksedperl
+0 -0
But what about "Uptown Girl" vs. "The Taming Of the Shrew". Should be a much closer call.
But what about "Uptown Girl" vs. "The Taming Of the Shrew". Should be a much closer call.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Taming Of the Shrew by a long shot, and I haven't even read it. But most Stranger-era Joel > Shakespeare.
OH GOD WHY IS THIS SOMETHING I THINK ABOUT
Taming Of the Shrew by a long shot, and I haven't even read it. But most Stranger-era Joel > Shakespeare.
OH GOD WHY IS THIS SOMETHING I THINK ABOUT
edjarosu
+0 -0
This may very well be my new favorite Ach.
This may very well be my new favorite Ach.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I think the sound that Groundskeeper Willy makes is my favorite Ach.
I think the sound that Groundskeeper Willy makes is my favorite Ach.
speccer
+0 -0
I think he meant to put a dash but could only hit the period key as he groped for the keyboard. With a final gesture he used the mouse to hit "Post".
I think he meant to put a dash but could only hit the period key as he groped for the keyboard. With a final gesture he used the mouse to hit "Post".
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Are you saying his head was split down the middle with an axe just as he was about to post his comment?
Are you saying his head was split down the middle with an axe just as he was about to post his comment?
baryonyx
+5 -0
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'Aaaaach'. He'd just say it!
Look, if he was dying, he wouldn't bother to carve 'Aaaaach'. He'd just say it!
sje46
+0 -0
Ni!
Ni!
speccer
+0 -0
Chubby for getting my slightly-convoluted reference.
Chubby for getting my slightly-convoluted reference.
sje46
+0 -0
I got it too!
I got it too!
hoboninja
+0 -0
And my Ach!
And my Ach!
hamscout
+0 -0
Cathy! What news from the north?
Cathy! What news from the north?
hamscout
+0 -0
...ahhh, I see you have Bill the Cat to translate for you...
...ahhh, I see you have Bill the Cat to translate for you...
davey-boy
+0 -0
I am missing the Bloom Country tie in. Please explain, as this cannot happen to me.
I am missing the Bloom Country tie in. Please explain, as this cannot happen to me.
hamscout
+0 -0
daidai
+0 -0
And my axe!
And my axe!
daidai
+0 -0
whew, that was close
whew, that was close
sje46
+0 -0
I ach your dog! I ach his waggy tail and I ach 'is little nose and I ach how 'e barks all the time! And I ach the mess he made on the floor too!
I ach your dog! I ach his waggy tail and I ach 'is little nose and I ach how 'e barks all the time! And I ach the mess he made on the floor too!
sje46
+0 -0
This has been an Obscure Simpsons Reference.
This has been an Obscure Simpsons Reference.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Aw, c'mon, throw in the delightful little "You 'erd meh" at the end.
Aw, c'mon, throw in the delightful little "You 'erd meh" at the end.
theirateturk
+1 -0
(Plagiarised) Palin insult image for the day 14/10
(Plagiarised) Palin insult image for the day 14/10
theirateturk
+0 -0
What, does this not load? How... annoying
What, does this not load? How... annoying
tsox
+0 -0
Achewood is the best when I read something that I desperately want to steal and say to one of my friends that doesn't read Achewood. I can't wait until someone asks if I want to go to the diner, or head out to the bar because I will paint for them a mental picture of walking car keys.
Achewood is the best when I read something that I desperately want to steal and say to one of my friends that doesn't read Achewood. I can't wait until someone asks if I want to go to the diner, or head out to the bar because I will paint for them a mental picture of walking car keys.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Too true. I do this all the time, and I don't feel like less of man just because my most memorable phrases that people use to define me are lifted from somewhere else.
:'(
Too true. I do this all the time, and I don't feel like less of man just because my most memorable phrases that people use to define me are lifted from somewhere else.
:'(
meddle
+1 -0
First of all, language is inherently derivative in a number of ways; don't worry about it. Second, The Dude lifts several phrases which he deploys to superior effect. This is a proud tradition, man.
First of all, language is inherently derivative in a number of ways; don't worry about it. Second, The Dude lifts several phrases which he deploys to superior effect. This is a proud tradition, man.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Validation! Peace and blessings and a chubby.
Validation! Peace and blessings and a chubby.
stereo
+0 -0
What happened to I_Love_Kate's vow if a strip commentary went past without a Big Lebowski reference? Did it happen? Did I miss it?
What happened to I_Love_Kate's vow if a strip commentary went past without a Big Lebowski reference? Did it happen? Did I miss it?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Man, why you even got to do a thing.
Man, why you even got to do a thing.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Ahem.
Say what you will about Lebowski-ism, at least it's an ethos.
Ahem.
Say what you will about Lebowski-ism, at least it's an ethos.
mrcool1122
+0 -0
Ever read Harry Mulisch's Last Call ?
Ever read Harry Mulisch's Last Call ?
agentstinky
+0 -0
Ray tells Roast Beef that is the gatekeeper AND keymaster at Larry Borgioni's The Cheetah Room.
Ray tells Roast Beef that is the gatekeeper AND keymaster at Larry Borgioni's The Cheetah Room.
pogo
+1 -0
I know you're all curious, and even before I read the 150 posts, let me assure you that at 59, everything still works fine.
I know you're all curious, and even before I read the 150 posts, let me assure you that at 59, everything still works fine.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Evidence or no dice pogoman.
Heh heh heh... god help us.
Evidence or no dice pogoman.
Heh heh heh... god help us.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
I like to think that Pogo is 59 in the same way that Philippe is 5. Ten years ago, Pogo was 59. On his next birthday, Pogo will be 59. At the end of the world, Pogo will be 59.
I like to think that Pogo is 59 in the same way that Philippe is 5. Ten years ago, Pogo was 59. On his next birthday, Pogo will be 59. At the end of the world, Pogo will be 59.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
In 25 years, Pogo will be 59...inches underground.
In 25 years, Pogo will be 59...inches underground.
pogo
+0 -0
But I will still haunt the Internets, in the form of a self-aware program.
But I will still haunt the Internets, in the form of a self-aware program.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Pogo will offer a mind-merger with catgrl and offer to help her achieve enlightenment but it will just be a ploy so he can see her naked when she's invisible.
Pogo will offer a mind-merger with catgrl and offer to help her achieve enlightenment but it will just be a ploy so he can see her naked when she's invisible.
tekende
+0 -0
But he won't be able to touch her because his hand will be clear.
But he won't be able to touch her because his hand will be clear.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
j =j?
j =j?
tekende
+0 -0
Was this supposed to be a reply to me? I don't know what it is supposed to say. I don't know if what you're saying means anything.
Was this supposed to be a reply to me? I don't know what it is supposed to say. I don't know if what you're saying means anything.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
like back when Ray was channeling Einstein and claimed his hand was clear.
like back when Ray was channeling Einstein and claimed his hand was clear.
tekende
+0 -0
Yes.
Yes.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Ha! Shows how much he knows! I actually have these two guys that follow me around with black strips of posterboard and censor me! It gets kind of crowded in the shower, but hey, it's better than having a randy spirit follow you around, right?
Right?
Ha! Shows how much he knows! I actually have these two guys that follow me around with black strips of posterboard and censor me! It gets kind of crowded in the shower, but hey, it's better than having a randy spirit follow you around, right?
Right?
falseprophet
+0 -0
Who watches the Watchmen?
Who watches the Watchmen?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It's a good gig if you can get it
(sorry, I try to avoid the pedo-ish jokes, but that one was pretty mild)
It's a good gig if you can get it
(sorry, I try to avoid the pedo-ish jokes, but that one was pretty mild)
pogo
+0 -0
So, we're cyber-related in the future? Hot!
So, we're cyber-related in the future? Hot!
tekende
+0 -0
pogo likes incest, pass it on
pogo likes incest, pass it on
sje46
+0 -0
pogo likes purple monkey dishwasher, pass it on.
pogo likes purple monkey dishwasher, pass it on.
tripleg
+0 -0
what i want to know is what started RB on that train of thought?
what i want to know is what started RB on that train of thought?
woodenteeth
+1 -0
He probably just had the best sex of his life and now all he can think of is losing it.
He probably just had the best sex of his life and now all he can think of is losing it.
tripleg
+0 -0
lie bot, what is the... [etc...]
lie bot, what is the... [etc...]
daidai
+0 -0
Hey guys, just have a question for everyone:
How long do people expect Chocolate News to run on comedy central?
It looks like it could be almost as terrible as Fringe. For you people who like Fringe, I'm sorry, but I can't watch LOST on a different network without character development.
Hey guys, just have a question for everyone:
How long do people expect Chocolate News to run on comedy central?
It looks like it could be almost as terrible as Fringe. For you people who like Fringe, I'm sorry, but I can't watch LOST on a different network without character development.
falseprophet
+3 -0
*~* Black America gives Chocolate News about twelve minutes. *~*
*~* Black America gives Chocolate News about twelve minutes. *~*
autrepoupee
+0 -0
I'M RAGIN
Fringe is a good show, and this is the first time I've actually been at odds with people I otherwise television-agree with. LOST isn't on right now, I need something with conspiracies and freaky cutaways, or else I'll die.
On the other hand, I know Chocolate News looks absolutely sick, but Comedy Central doesn't really cancel shows. How long did Crank Yankers last?
I'M RAGIN
Fringe is a good show, and this is the first time I've actually been at odds with people I otherwise television-agree with. LOST isn't on right now, I need something with conspiracies and freaky cutaways, or else I'll die.
On the other hand, I know Chocolate News looks absolutely sick, but Comedy Central doesn't really cancel shows. How long did Crank Yankers last?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
They only cancel good shows, like Stella.
They only cancel good shows, like Stella.
kickstart
+0 -0
That is exactly my opinionWilliam Elbox.
Funk ROCK!
That is exactly my opinion
Funk ROCK!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Did anyone tell Marcus?
Did anyone tell Marcus?
tekende
+0 -0
STEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAA
But no, seriously, that was a cool show. Meanwhile, Li'l Bush is still on and Carlos Mencia has his own show.
Comedy Central would not know comedy if it bit them in the ass and gave them a rim job.
STEEELLLLLLLAAAAAAA
But no, seriously, that was a cool show. Meanwhile, Li'l Bush is still on and Carlos Mencia has his own show.
Comedy Central would not know comedy if it bit them in the ass and gave them a rim job.
bassguitarbill
+0 -0
Did you ever notice how Comedy Central kind of approaches humor with like a lab coat and a pair of tweezers?
Did you ever notice how Comedy Central kind of approaches humor with like a lab coat and a pair of tweezers?
achilleselbow
+4 -0
More like overalls and a 2x4 with a nail stuck in it.
More like overalls and a 2x4 with a nail stuck in it.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
And a mask made of the tanned flesh of past comedy.
And a mask made of the tanned flesh of past comedy.
tripleg
+2 -0
it puts the laugh track in the basket...
it puts the laugh track in the basket...
awksedperl
+0 -0
"And a mask made of the tanned flesh of past comedy."
..tanned flesh of *bad* past comedy.
"And a mask made of the tanned flesh of past comedy."
..tanned flesh of *bad* past comedy.
speccer
+1 -0
They've got The Daily Show and Comedy Central Presents. That's about it.
They've got The Daily Show and Comedy Central Presents. That's about it.
sje46
+0 -0
Not a Colbert fan?
Not a Colbert fan?
speccer
+0 -0
He's funny - I even got his book - but lately his satire's a bit thick and not to my taste.
He's funny - I even got his book - but lately his satire's a bit thick and not to my taste.
tripleg
+0 -0
what does "a bit thick" mean in reference to satire?
what does "a bit thick" mean in reference to satire?
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm assuming it means the opposite of subtle. I disagree with this assessment however.
I'm assuming it means the opposite of subtle. I disagree with this assessment however.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Any satire where the punchlines are shouted at you is not subtle.
Any satire where the punchlines are shouted at you is not subtle.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
What if what you are satirizing shouts their point as well?
What if what you are satirizing shouts their point as well?
sje46
+0 -0
This is the case with him. He is satirizing O'REilly, because he shouts. If someone isn't listening to you, that means you have to speak louder.
This is the case with him. He is satirizing O'REilly, because he shouts. If someone isn't listening to you, that means you have to speak louder.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It makes you win.
It makes you win.
davey-boy
+0 -0
If that is the case, rather than make a cartoon cutout of Hannity or Beck, why not make a veiled case for their logic, in an inherently self defeating manner?
If that is the case, rather than make a cartoon cutout of Hannity or Beck, why not make a veiled case for their logic, in an inherently self defeating manner?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
He does that as well, though. He emulates every aspect of their delivery, and of their opinions.
He does that as well, though. He emulates every aspect of their delivery, and of their opinions.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
SLAM DUNK. How's THAT for food for thought, am I right?
SLAM DUNK. How's THAT for food for thought, am I right?
invidious
+0 -0
Fringe? Oh, you mean "The X-Files (with 50% more J.J. Abrams)"?
Fringe? Oh, you mean "The X-Files (with 50% more J.J. Abrams)"?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
i most certainly do! It's not original, but I mean, X-Files was good, J.J. Abrams is good, so I really don't mind.
i most certainly do! It's not original, but I mean, X-Files was good, J.J. Abrams is good, so I really don't mind.
wozzeck
+0 -0
The happiest night of my life involved, amongst other things, watching Crank Yankers with the finest woman to ever dance exotically for a living. When she turned to me, smiling at the madly colorful antics of those deviant puppets, smiling at me, sweetly, brilliantly , I for the first time tasted true happiness.
Crank Yankers will never be canceled in my heart.
The happiest night of my life involved, amongst other things, watching Crank Yankers with the finest woman to ever dance exotically for a living. When she turned to me, smiling at the madly colorful antics of those deviant puppets, smiling at me, sweetly, brilliantly , I for the first time tasted true happiness.
Crank Yankers will never be canceled in my heart.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
sounds like a really kickass wedding day
sounds like a really kickass wedding day
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Do you got mail sir?
Do you got mail sir?
mrchee
+0 -0
TUESDAY: The sex-related death of Cornelius Bear
TUESDAY: The sex-related death of Cornelius Bear
nice-on-water
+0 -0
TUESDAY TBA
Cue AD jokes.
Cue AD jokes.
orvel
+0 -0
Worth the wait.
Worth the wait.
imitationcrab
+0 -0
this strip is just bangin' with tasty tidbits
this strip is just bangin' with tasty tidbits
drmemory
+0 -0
Ray has forgotten his larnin'. William Strunk, Jr.: "Omit initial A or The from titles when you place the possessive before them."
Ray has forgotten his larnin'. William Strunk, Jr.: "Omit initial A or The from titles when you place the possessive before them."
echidnaboy
+0 -0
I suspect that's the official name of the place. While you or I would refuse on principle to cross the threshold of an establishment with "Larry Borgioni's The Cheetah Room" writ in foot-high neon letters over the door, Ray has no such qualms. He can watch Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas without flinching. He didn't read The Da Vinci Code , but he watched the movie without ever considering that the title was essentially gibberish.* He thought Mickey Blue Eyes was pretty funny, but he didn't understand the bit about the restaurant called "The La Traviata".** This is because, while we have Principles, Ray has Realism.
* It means "The Of Vinci Code". The dude's name was Leonardo. Nobody calls him "da Vinci", that's just the place he was from. Come on people, I can't be the only one who thinks this.
** Yeah, I just referenced a Hugh Grant movie. Fuhgeddaboudid.
I suspect that's the official name of the place. While you or I would refuse on principle to cross the threshold of an establishment with "Larry Borgioni's The Cheetah Room" writ in foot-high neon letters over the door, Ray has no such qualms. He can watch Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas without flinching. He didn't read The Da Vinci Code , but he watched the movie without ever considering that the title was essentially gibberish.* He thought Mickey Blue Eyes was pretty funny, but he didn't understand the bit about the restaurant called "The La Traviata".** This is because, while we have Principles, Ray has Realism.
* It means "The Of Vinci Code". The dude's name was Leonardo. Nobody calls him "da Vinci", that's just the place he was from. Come on people, I can't be the only one who thinks this.
** Yeah, I just referenced a Hugh Grant movie. Fuhgeddaboudid.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I think it is the Onstar making another play at the obnoxious nature of 'design' people and snobby restaurants. There are many such places and things with names like "Karl Lagerfeld's A Dildo" and "granT achatZ's thE moneyfirE" and such. People name a thing a silly name, then decide to stick the name of the creator in front of that initial name to make it sound meaningful. This allows them to charge more to the monotremes who don't know better
I think it is the Onstar making another play at the obnoxious nature of 'design' people and snobby restaurants. There are many such places and things with names like "Karl Lagerfeld's A Dildo" and "granT achatZ's thE moneyfirE" and such. People name a thing a silly name, then decide to stick the name of the creator in front of that initial name to make it sound meaningful. This allows them to charge more to the monotremes who don't know better
kickstart
+0 -0
John Carpenter's Vampires
John Carpenter's Vampires
hamscout
+0 -0
Martha Stewart Living
Martha Stewart Living
tekende
+0 -0
And the most ironic of them all, Bram Stoker's Dracula . By the end, that film had fuck-all to do with Bram Stoker's novel.
And the most ironic of them all, Bram Stoker's Dracula . By the end, that film had fuck-all to do with Bram Stoker's novel.
drmemory
+0 -0
I had considered that, and decided otherwise, but upon reflection you are probably correct. Pardon me now, I will resume listening to Matt Johnson's The The (I can't Strunk my way out of that one).
I had considered that, and decided otherwise, but upon reflection you are probably correct. Pardon me now, I will resume listening to Matt Johnson's The The (I can't Strunk my way out of that one).
tripleg
+0 -0
There is a casino in Reno called John Ascuaga's Nugget
There is a casino in Reno called John Ascuaga's Nugget
steev_dayv
+0 -0
I adore his nugget.
I adore his nugget.
tripleg
+0 -0
i am very much apathetic in regards to that nugget
i am very much apathetic in regards to that nugget
icicole
+1 -0
I need to have a good, long talk with my keys with regard to the direction they're taking me.
I need to have a good, long talk with my keys with regard to the direction they're taking me.
lucidz
+1 -0
Instead of trying (and failing) to be clever in the forum of an already clever comic strip, let me just go outside the box here and say I'm thrilled with this strip. it feels like a return to the witty banter and camaraderie of old.
Keep it up chris.
Instead of trying (and failing) to be clever in the forum of an already clever comic strip, let me just go outside the box here and say I'm thrilled with this strip. it feels like a return to the witty banter and camaraderie of old.
Keep it up chris.
cromar
+0 -1
lol
lol
sje46
+0 -0
L0LZ
L0LZ
tad-
+0 -0
You can see how noticeably different the characters are in strips like these. The dialogue is subtler, more mature, less likely to see a guffaw and more likely to force a smile or maybe a snicker. All the characters are maturing with the writer, but it's happening unnaturally in strips like this one. Ray and Beef are playful, but this is a disconnected playfulness--I don't buy it. It would be natural that Beef concern himself over the workings of his marriage to obsessive degrees, but I feel like he shouldn't be so cool about it. His neurotic background wouldn't disappear with his breakthroughs, they simply wouldn't be as loud. I'd imagine that the relationship with Ray should probably still pretty much find Beef reliant on him rather than something akin to someone asking his rich buddy party favors.
You can see how noticeably different the characters are in strips like these. The dialogue is subtler, more mature, less likely to see a guffaw and more likely to force a smile or maybe a snicker. All the characters are maturing with the writer, but it's happening unnaturally in strips like this one. Ray and Beef are playful, but this is a disconnected playfulness--I don't buy it. It would be natural that Beef concern himself over the workings of his marriage to obsessive degrees, but I feel like he shouldn't be so cool about it. His neurotic background wouldn't disappear with his breakthroughs, they simply wouldn't be as loud. I'd imagine that the relationship with Ray should probably still pretty much find Beef reliant on him rather than something akin to someone asking his rich buddy party favors.
nabeel84
+0 -0
I feel like Beef's marriage to Molly has made him a little less depressed, and more cheerful all around.
I feel like Beef's marriage to Molly has made him a little less depressed, and more cheerful all around.
cromar
+0 -0
I felt like this sounded more like Onstad's prose for the New Yorker than Ray, Beef, and Cornelius speaking with each other...
I felt like this sounded more like Onstad's prose for the New Yorker than Ray, Beef, and Cornelius speaking with each other...
myfirstpost
+0 -0
Since I only get one post-per-day cause I'm a noob, I respectfully offer this image in two versions.
https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t31/gobo_02/ohashton.jpg
BBCode, if thou smitest me, I shall smitest thou back... tomorrow.
Since I only get one post-per-day cause I'm a noob, I respectfully offer this image in two versions.
https://i156.photobucket.com/albums/t31/gobo_02/ohashton.jpg
BBCode, if thou smitest me, I shall smitest thou back... tomorrow.
stereo
+0 -0
Has that man ever done something sincere?
Has that man ever done something sincere?
sje46
+0 -0
You're saying that the Butterfly Effect was insincere?
You're saying that the Butterfly Effect was insincere?
theguitarhero
+0 -1
You're saying What Happens In Vegas was insincere?
If I had a time machine I wouldn't go back and kill Hitler or stop 9/11 or shoot George Herbert Walker Bush in the nuts before Jeb or GWB PT. II were born, I'd go warn a young Rob Corddry to never, ever be a part of a program called The Daily Show.
You're saying What Happens In Vegas was insincere?
If I had a time machine I wouldn't go back and kill Hitler or stop 9/11 or shoot George Herbert Walker Bush in the nuts before Jeb or GWB PT. II were born, I'd go warn a young Rob Corddry to never, ever be a part of a program called The Daily Show.
hamscout
+0 -0
?
?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What is that right there. What is it.
What is that right there. What is it.
tekende
+0 -0
That would be Ashton Kutcher with his special lady Demi Moore, and some freakishly-shaped young girl. (Seriously, look at her shoulders and head as compared to the lower half of her torso.)
That would be Ashton Kutcher with his special lady Demi Moore, and some freakishly-shaped young girl. (Seriously, look at her shoulders and head as compared to the lower half of her torso.)
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Her whole body looks like it exists in three or four different times. That plus Ashton's general weirdness made me ask "what?"
Her whole body looks like it exists in three or four different times. That plus Ashton's general weirdness made me ask "what?"
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
"i dun lik queers"
i bn so biss
"i dun lik queers"
i bn so biss
sje46
+0 -0
HAI GLADI8ORREX!
HAI GLADI8ORREX!
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
This strip has the best language
This strip has the best language
lawdog
+0 -0
Ebay Platinum Reserve. Ray lives the difference.
Ebay Platinum Reserve. Ray lives the difference.
andyfaewatford
+1 -0
Ohshitivejustturned27
Ohshitivejustturned27
falseprophet
+1 -0
Happybirthdayyouoldassmotherfuckeryou
Happybirthdayyouoldassmotherfuckeryou
sje46
+1 -0
:(
:(
hedonismbot
+1 -0
27 is a good age to be. I remember 27 fondly. You are a perfect cube now! That won't happen again til you are 64. Of course, 28 is far more perfect, but you'll get there (probably)
27 is a good age to be. I remember 27 fondly. You are a perfect cube now! That won't happen again til you are 64. Of course, 28 is far more perfect, but you'll get there (probably)
kamet
+0 -0
Ya, 28's pretty cool. Although, I do get split by 7 more times than I'd like.
Ya, 28's pretty cool. Although, I do get split by 7 more times than I'd like.
invidious
+1 -0
Odd, most women don't mind getting split by seven.
Odd, most women don't mind getting split by seven.
hamscout
+0 -0
...they do mind if they've already been factored by nine.
...they do mind if they've already been factored by nine.
invidious
+0 -0
Insert obligatory "log 10" joke here...
Insert obligatory "log 10" joke here...
wozzeck
+0 -0
Beware 29. Beware.
Beware 29. Beware.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
But those divisions by 7 are so important. Why, if you were to ad up all those numbers that divide 28...
But those divisions by 7 are so important. Why, if you were to ad up all those numbers that divide 28...
pogo
+0 -0
27? Ha, double that, and you still don't touch me.
27? Ha, double that, and you still don't touch me.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Nobody wants to touch you.
Nobody wants to touch you.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm sorry that was uncalled for. I'm just projecting after all.
I'm sorry that was uncalled for. I'm just projecting after all.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I want to touch him
I want to touch him
pogo
+0 -0
I'm not glad to hear that.
I'm not glad to hear that.
pogo
+0 -0
I'm glad you feel that way.
I'm glad you feel that way.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
27 is my favorite number! Way to go, andyfaewatford!
27 is my favorite number! Way to go, andyfaewatford!
steev_dayv
+0 -0
Odd...me too.
Odd...me too.
butta
+0 -0
Greatest. Strip. Ever.
Greatest. Strip. Ever.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Hey guys, I noticed something lately.
Recent strips, especially with Cornelius, deal with growing old and missing out on things of your youth. In fact, this seems to be a common thread with most of the characters and most of the story arcs...
Guys, I think we are going about this whole "which character is Chris' avatar in the comic?" concept the wrong way. I think every character is a representation of some facet of Chris' personality, and as he gets older, he's using them to tell us his struggles with his age and such.
Guys, I think Chris is crying out for attention, for love.
He needs our help.
Hey guys, I noticed something lately.
Recent strips, especially with Cornelius, deal with growing old and missing out on things of your youth. In fact, this seems to be a common thread with most of the characters and most of the story arcs...
Guys, I think we are going about this whole "which character is Chris' avatar in the comic?" concept the wrong way. I think every character is a representation of some facet of Chris' personality, and as he gets older, he's using them to tell us his struggles with his age and such.
Guys, I think Chris is crying out for attention, for love.
He needs our help.
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, of course all the characters reflect some facet of the author, but he is surrounded by love everywhere he goes now, so no need there to cry out for attention. Or were you referring to his childhood in a cardboard box?
Yes, of course all the characters reflect some facet of the author, but he is surrounded by love everywhere he goes now, so no need there to cry out for attention. Or were you referring to his childhood in a cardboard box?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
It was humor-based comedy, pogo, it's ok to not get it.
HINT: the joke is in the i-tallics.
It was humor-based comedy, pogo, it's ok to not get it.
HINT: the joke is in the i-tallics.
pogo
+0 -0
HINT: I got your joke and was trying to riff on it. *sigh*
HINT: I got your joke and was trying to riff on it. *sigh*
tripleg
+2 -0
it wouldn't shut up...
it wouldn't shut up...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I was the one who gave you this chubby. I gave it to you because you referenced a very meaningful part of my teenagerhood. I thank you for this.
I was the one who gave you this chubby. I gave it to you because you referenced a very meaningful part of my teenagerhood. I thank you for this.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't know what this thing is, but it makes me want to click "lame". I probably won't, but it's tempting.
I don't know what this thing is, but it makes me want to click "lame". I probably won't, but it's tempting.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
The Maxx was a wonderful, weirdass thing. I think you had to be just the right age and angst level for it to hit on all cylinders. Too you and you can't get it, too old and it just seems to comic-booky. MTV Oddities was about the finest thing they ever did
The Maxx was a wonderful, weirdass thing. I think you had to be just the right age and angst level for it to hit on all cylinders. Too you and you can't get it, too old and it just seems to comic-booky. MTV Oddities was about the finest thing they ever did
tekende
+0 -0
OHHH, The Maxx. Okay. Urge to lame is gone.
OHHH, The Maxx. Okay. Urge to lame is gone.
tripleg
+0 -0
Thank you, Tekende, for the benefit of the doubt. And thank you, Hedobot, for a perfect description of The Maxx's appeal. When I am a teacher, I fully intend to find some way to sneak episode/issue four in to my curriculum.
Thank you, Tekende, for the benefit of the doubt. And thank you, Hedobot, for a perfect description of The Maxx's appeal. When I am a teacher, I fully intend to find some way to sneak episode/issue four in to my curriculum.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Well he's gettin' my money.
Well he's gettin' my money.
funcrusherplus
+0 -0
On the other hand, if we deprive him of attention and love he might eventually commit suicide and therefore become forever known as the greatest tortured comic genius in history. Like Ian Curtis for post punk, or Nick Drake for sad English people!
On the other hand, if we deprive him of attention and love he might eventually commit suicide and therefore become forever known as the greatest tortured comic genius in history. Like Ian Curtis for post punk, or Nick Drake for sad English people!
theguitarhero
+0 -0
Or Heath Ledger for semidepressed mall goths and comic nerds who jack off to The Killing Joke .
Seriously I saw a higher proportion of stretched and distended Heath-Ledger-as-THE-JOKER faces on shirts on bloated mall goth chicas this year than I have seen ever in my life ever. If you have not been to high school or in the vicinity of a Hot Topic you will not understand.
oh god it is almost one in the morning i have a plot outline for film class to write and stuff to study and a Don DeLillo book to finish why am i still up oh god oh god.
Or Heath Ledger for semidepressed mall goths and comic nerds who jack off to The Killing Joke .
Seriously I saw a higher proportion of stretched and distended Heath-Ledger-as-THE-JOKER faces on shirts on bloated mall goth chicas this year than I have seen ever in my life ever. If you have not been to high school or in the vicinity of a Hot Topic you will not understand.
oh god it is almost one in the morning i have a plot outline for film class to write and stuff to study and a Don DeLillo book to finish why am i still up oh god oh god.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
baby you just wait until halloween this year, the ratio of cute costumes, scary costumes, unique costumes, seXxXy costumes, will be severely weighed with a Heath Ledger's The Joker prefix.
I'm reserving my full size candies and soda pops for kids who come dressed as something other than a member of the Batman universe.
baby you just wait until halloween this year, the ratio of cute costumes, scary costumes, unique costumes, seXxXy costumes, will be severely weighed with a Heath Ledger's The Joker prefix.
I'm reserving my full size candies and soda pops for kids who come dressed as something other than a member of the Batman universe.
stereo
+0 -0
Do you have a problem with the Batman?
Do you have a problem with the Batman?
fineoakstructure
+2 -0
steev_dayv
+0 -0
He is the night.
He is the night.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
It will be like the V for Vendetta mask craze last Halloween. I went to a party and there were like 20 of them. Kind of like that South Park where the Devil bitches about how every year there's like ten guys dressed as The Crow.
It will be like the V for Vendetta mask craze last Halloween. I went to a party and there were like 20 of them. Kind of like that South Park where the Devil bitches about how every year there's like ten guys dressed as The Crow.
speccer
+0 -0
Newfags
[//b/]
I'm sorry, but it had to be noted.
Newfags
[//b/]
I'm sorry, but it had to be noted.
speccer
+0 -0
Shit no it didn't why would I do such a thing
Shit no it didn't why would I do such a thing
tekende
+0 -0
I dressed as The Crow one Halloween.
Also one time I wore a V mask but it was several weeks before Halloween and I was in a Borders. I got some weird looks.
I dressed as The Crow one Halloween.
Also one time I wore a V mask but it was several weeks before Halloween and I was in a Borders. I got some weird looks.
afronaut
+0 -0
Is that the coat beef wore to the first rain?
Is that the coat beef wore to the first rain?
steev_dayv
+0 -0
It may be his childhood sweatshirt that he floats downriver in. It is his way.
It may be his childhood sweatshirt that he floats downriver in. It is his way.
modality
+0 -0
two dudes, jazzed on their keys' ability to rock another dude's bonch.
two dudes, jazzed on their keys' ability to rock another dude's bonch.
syncopation
+0 -0
Best part of this strip? "Sound-activated types". I think I'll start calling not-so-bright people that.
Best part of this strip? "Sound-activated types". I think I'll start calling not-so-bright people that.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
such a below-the-radar dis...
swawesome.
such a below-the-radar dis...
swawesome.
hyperboleblues
+0 -0
Panels 2-5. Roast Beef is a little transparent. Maybe the big reveal for Achewood will be that he has actually been dead since Pat shot him in a grappa fueled rage. I JUST BLEW MY OWN MIND.
Panels 2-5. Roast Beef is a little transparent. Maybe the big reveal for Achewood will be that he has actually been dead since Pat shot him in a grappa fueled rage. I JUST BLEW MY OWN MIND.
speccer
+0 -0
Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, but I just don't see it.
It's a common thing for high people to blow their own minds. Are you high, hyperboleblues?
Maybe I'm not looking hard enough, but I just don't see it.
It's a common thing for high people to blow their own minds. Are you high, hyperboleblues?
pogo
+0 -0
He's definitely seeing things that aren't there. FUN.
He's definitely seeing things that aren't there. FUN.
deusoma
+0 -0
That happened to a friend of mine once. Turned out the brownie he stole from his roommate had... things... baked into it.
That happened to a friend of mine once. Turned out the brownie he stole from his roommate had... things... baked into it.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Also, nerd test: Pat shot Connie, not Beef, when hacking on grappa.
Also, nerd test: Pat shot Connie, not Beef, when hacking on grappa.
hyperboleblues
+0 -0
This is true. I have forgotten the face of my father.
p.s. you can tell on his left side, you can kind of see the bar railing through his hoodie. WAIT! Am i high...? p-permanently?
This is true. I have forgotten the face of my father.
p.s. you can tell on his left side, you can kind of see the bar railing through his hoodie. WAIT! Am i high...? p-permanently?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
With a month of reflection, the alt text seems to foreshadow what is to be.
With a month of reflection, the alt text seems to foreshadow what is to be.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
The last three panels show how two old knuckleheads since small times get excited and agree on something. I wish I had those kind of friends nowadays.
The last three panels show how two old knuckleheads since small times get excited and agree on something. I wish I had those kind of friends nowadays.
vulpes-aurum
+0 -0
Where is Beef standing in front of in panels 6 and 9?
Where is Beef standing in front of in panels 6 and 9?
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
im generally uninterested in strip clubs, but i would go to one called 'sapphire pantry'.
im generally uninterested in strip clubs, but i would go to one called 'sapphire pantry'.
My keys generally just want to go to the supermarket.
I need keys that want to get me laid.
My keys usually want to get me into an accident.
My keys like to hang out in the washing machine when I would rather go to work.
A comment left by sweetlips was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by meddle, Sant, gsail11, Marcus_Brody)
My keyss open Doors that others can nottt...
Heh. Heh heh. HehHAHAHEhahEHEHhahahEHEAHAHAAA!
Not so certain that my keys ever really factor into it, but if public transit is trying to get me laid then not only is it not in too much of a hurry to have it happen, but we seem to generally have different tastes because the places it takes me... well, I don't think there's anyone there that I want to be getting laid with.
Undoubtedly it does want me to get laid though given the frequency in which it stops completely unexpectedly and tells me for no clearly defined reason that the ride ends here and if I want to go any further I need to find a new conveyance.
Mind the gap.
My keys are black. They play blues rock.
Do they like The Oblivians?
A comment left by brokebackmark was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mortshire, blueshoc12, Hexjumper, retinarow)
*Cough cough*
pfffffffffffffft
oh you're one of those people. check out the Oblivians. you'll feel the difference
yay for the oblivians and other bands that don't suck
YEAH!
yo man i want to know where your avatar is from
its that jesus-dog. from philippes flow-chart.
wow i barely even remembered this strip thanks mate
he likes it, hey my keys
"A Muni security reminder..."
Do you live in New York? I seem to have this problem, too.
No, San Francisco. Our public transit system is quite terrible and our "subway" such as it is, basically only goes to one place.
Also buses and trains will frequently stop in the middle of a route and tell everyone to get off. No reason is ever given for this and though there are sometimes lies about another vehicle coming soon these are often lies. The last time this happened predictions (for, you see, we have no reliable or posted schedules) were that a new train would be coming in about 30 minutes. I compare this to when I will be getting into things with my girlfriend and for no reason she will suddenly no longer feel like it.
Neither of these things are working correctly. Sometimes, however, I wonder which would actually be harder to fix.
"2-car. N. N. Embarcadero. In 12. minutes."
Yet we both know that that is a lie. You will be getting a one-car M in 20 minutes and it will already be packed even though you're only at Powell. The train will be taking you to where I live. A place where the soul learns that there is no escape. The train will still likely force everyone out at SF State and I will have to wait another 15 minutes until I can catch another trains to take me the rest of the way home. That is, until Muni changes the system under TEP and the M doesn't even go to my stop any more.
Muni: because waiting 20 minutes in order to take a train for one hour to travel seven miles totally makes sense
whoa. Do you live in Ingleside?
Even further south... but not since the new year, now I'm in the Haight.
well well, mr. fancy man!
Your dilemma is not just in your head, belgand, and I'm afraid it may be unfixable. I'd suggest you hop on the bus, but that obviously won't work in your case. And this whole thing started with keys wandering off on their own, so you can't even drop those off. If your neighborhood is like mine, slipping out the back will only get you into a fenced-in yard with no access to the street. Better make a new plan, or you'll be not-screwed for a long time.
The keys content themselves with idle whispers, feeling in their bones all the pains of every future road. They know where you are going, but they do not take you to that place.
That's not funny. My friend died when his keys..
eh, the hell with it.
Fear is THE key
*mind killer.
You people so didn't get the early Achewood reference in my comment. Damn it.
the hell we didn't.
lame.
It's what Roast Beef dreams about, Silly Sally.
Let's go, keys. I've been drinking vodka and have a lot of big ideas.
This sentence is amazing. Seriously, bravo.
WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY
Is it an Achewood quote? It sounds like it should be.
No, it was just so funny that I laughed for way too long. I could not understand it, but it was amazing.
Was it the vodka you're bathing in?
THESE KEYS!
My keys are all about getting me laid. I mean, after all, they are at their best when inserted into a slot.
Only problem is, they ain't all that good at it.
My keys enjoy cutting tape and opening shipping! Sadly, I have a swiss army knife keychain.
You are a man after my own heart. Always ready with a blade.
I generally try to keep my distance from men who are after my heart with a blade.
That sounds awfully familiar.. you don't drive a Hyundai do you?
I would be happy with keys that would pay my bar tab.
I can tip on my own.
My Keyes have political aspirations.
I do not hear any blues rock coming out of them goddamn Keyes.
It sorta looks like Dr. Keyes is chastising Florida there.