jamers +85 -0
When I read this I imagined Freeman reading his article aloud. Largely nonsense made me spit iced tea on my monitor because I couldn't stop laughing. I need to learn to not drink anything while reading achewood.

davidadam +13 -0
Hell yeah man. I was about to post something like "try to read that article without imagining Freeman's voice. You can't." but you essentially said it for me.

wehavemagnums +9 -0
"Anymore, that is" is perfect Freeman.

hyetal +29 -0
You keep saying "Freeman," I keep thinking "Gordon."

anticitizen +5 -0
I reread the excerpt and tried to imagine Gordon Freeman reading it aloud but all I heard was pained yelps and guttural mumblings.

I kid, but seriously he talks not so good.

dusty +4 -0
Why would he need to talk when he can just stare and people know what he wants?

soticoto +0 -0
Gordon Freeman would not write an article.
Gordon Freeman would jump, run and climb across the country on foot and HIT that tostada with a crowbar.

terriblerobot +1 -0
And a small box of ammo would appear.

norrin +8 -1
Onstad is a master at capturing other people's speach patterns.

falseprophet +16 -0
I remember when I first met Andy...

soticoto +1 -0
Chubby for Shawshank.

falseprophet +0 -0
A comment left by falseprophet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Marcus_Brody, eddylee, AtlanticCity)

scorpio_nadir +0 -0
You got that Morgan Freeman inflection of "seems almost-like-irony but actually the farthest thing from it" in 'remember' just right.

dybrar +0 -0
I just chubbied this only to realise, belatedly, that it probably wasn't an Oregon Trail reference at all!

soticoto +0 -0
... I thought I made what it was a reference to rather clear.

mugi +1 -0
Seriously. He's got all of those authors down perfectly.

pogo +0 -0
He's the Mark Twain of cartoonists.

lordpretzel +7 -0
[IMGS OFF]

Good news everyone! I've invented a device that makes you hear this text read in my voice!

dmaster +0 -0
chubbs my good man

lolsworth +0 -0
It is literally impossible.

aaron_haynes +14 -0
Not entirely nonsense. He's not willing to completely dismiss them, because of his love for tostadas. But things were better once.

unquotable +7 -0
I really, truly want to read the rest of that article. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HE THINKS.

theryuujin +0 -1
Largely Nonsense!

theryuujin +0 -1
i see you tragic_johnson. i see your profile .

vheissu +0 -0
That could be early signs of Freemanic Paracusia. You better get that checked out.

kaithekender +0 -0
Yeah I did too

The man really IS in everything

duperando +0 -0
Good lord, I know I already have commented on this, but I am pretty sure this is my favorite achewood of all time. It's just so perfect.
Tostadas magazine is no-nonesense. And you know it's legit if celebrities like morgan freeman weigh in. I'd read that 'zine over Reader's Digest any day.

a_dude +1 -0
Morgan Freeman can make hella tostadas.

hellofyellin +7 -0
When speaking of tostadas, Freeman comes raw. He comes loud. That is how Freeman rolls.

soticoto +10 -1
Morgan Freeman is God.

.... Or at least he is god when Alanis Morissette isn't.

i_love_kate +1 -0
I'm guessing from your lack of lames that everyone here has seen the film Dogma. On your behalf, "Phew"!

vermy +1 -0
A socicoto asset I won't lame.
This is totally a Thing.

soticoto +0 -0
Glad to see you judge a comment for the comment and not the one who posts it.

epicurus +11 -0
I wonder what it would cost for a recording of Freeman reading this? Not that you really need it.

vermy +0 -0
But you do. You do.

hollis +8 -1
I believe I will start calling my friends "hometicket" now.

woodenteeth +0 -0
I also enjoy "homeslice".

djwhiterabbit +6 -0
it's truly eerie how chris onstad can capture the feel of morgan freeman's speaking/voice-over style so accurately.

that monologue could've easily been dropped into shawshank redemption without sounding an iota out of place. (^ ^,)

straw +7 -0
Morgan Freeman can not believe tostadas these days. He can't.

juancarlos +0 -0
A comment left by juancarlos was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rolotonybrowntown, usversusthem, anitrophaeron, aperson)

zefiel +0 -0
..That was.. confusing. I- I think i need to go lie down for a bit now.

rotating-dog +1 -0
Sadly, magazines like this do exist. When I sell them I react pretty much like Teodor in panel 3. The best? Stationary Engine Driver The world always needs someone who will buy magazines about stationary engines. Or tostadas.

honesttom +3 -0
I worked in a law firm that dealt with construction, we used to get loads of "how-do-they-fill-this-every-month" magazines. I think my favourite was Reinforced Concrete Digest.

Actually, if that title was literal, I'd probably buy it.

pa_ass_nts +2 -0
I have heard tell of a Modern Drunkard magazine. Is that really a niche that needed exploiting?

chuchurocket +1 -0
actually i've read it, online at least. it's largely satirical, not too bad.

rotating-dog +6 -0
I can't believe satire these days.

stubob +1 -0
I actually subscribed to that one! Great stuff. The only problem is the semi-random time between issues due to the drunken staff. What I'm curious about.. is there a magazine about moustaches? Or about living in a van?

tekende +0 -0
A magazine about facial hair would be awesome.

gormster +0 -0
Mo Monthly.

pogo +4 -0
Sadly? These niche publications provide a needed service and forum for industries that put dinner on the table, rotating-dog. Do you live off some sort of trust fund?

tekende +0 -0
I like how "rotating-dog" kind of sounds like maybe it is an insult. But it is just his name.

fineoakstructure +0 -0
Wow...I gave this one a 5 for the surprise factor. I remember reading it this earlier this year and not being impressed, but revisiting it after I'd started reading message boards again for the first time in year, lines like "a lot of people are calling bullshit..." and "word on the boards is that..." just seem spot on pathetically funny. plus hometicket.

droplede +1 -0
Easy Eater -- that's his name.

sabata00 +0 -0
largely and nonsense are the best two words ever to be put side by side

presterjohn +1 -0
The humble local newspaper is going the way of the passenger pigeon. Meanwhile, the glossy magazine, a whoreson base medium if ever there was one, is thriving. Truly a sad state of affairs. Cornelius would back me up on this one.

professorhazard +11 -1
I no like'a the tostada. When I am younger, sure, ok, but not so much now.

Maybe I change, maybe they change. Who knows?

slalvation +7 -1
What I love about Morgan Freeman's tostada opinion is how much it sounds like everyone who cares about something really mundane.

boredom_man +0 -0
Wet split beaver shots these days? Largely nonsense.

dusty +0 -0
We loved that sauce.

drago25 +0 -0
Morgan Freeman is apparently now not only turning up in every second film, but magazine as well.

hobit +0 -0
this strip should have a possible sixth star. thats how good it is

tonyhighwind +0 -0
"Largely nonsense."

Imminently quotable.

indoorsman +1 -0
What does he not have a hundred of? I MUST know.

thechops +0 -0
Yeah holy shit, that is one bullshit tostada that's a taco salad.

Tostadas are where a person learns how to eat with control.

duperando +0 -0
Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman . Effing hilarious.

roint +1 -0
There was a few Calvin and Hobbes strips about a magazine Calvin subscribed to called "Chewing", which was all about bubble gum and included tests to determine the correct type of gum for your saliva pH and so forth. This makes for a nice addition to the small but proud canon of comic strips that satirize special interest magazines.

ratacattt +0 -0

madisonsquare +0 -0
You don't say!

scifigrl47 +0 -0
He DOES say!

Oh, no, wait. You were right. He don't. Sorry!