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Andretti's Assessment Thursday, May 3, 2007 • read strip Viewing 112 comments:

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Nonsense.
It is clearly the hat that Harrison Ford was wearing in Raiders of the Lost Ark.


I also assume this. what the hell is a team of raiders?

I looked it up on Google and apparently its a mentally handicapped fellow who has been outfitted with a helmet (presumably for his protection). Unfortunately he has gotten a hold of some little swords and put one of his eyes out before lodging the swords in the back of his helmet. Or in this case a whole team of them.

Wouldn't he just say "fedora", then?

That isn't nearly specific enough.

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Seven people found dead cats hilarious.

and 3 people found finding dead cats hilarious. me included.

These statements have been rendered inaccurate by the ravages of time.

Chubby counters inevitably are.

You have 4, by the way.

NOT FOR LONG

Avatar-post combination: terrifying

I am really digging Roast Beef's expressions for the Onstad Visual Analog Score (OVAS). Ovas means "eggs" in Portuguese.

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Well, the next 12 days should be good.

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You get a chubby for "small house wolves".

They hang out next to the Wolves, Lower.

For some reason, the nose and snout makes it look like a rat to me. I know that the name says "wolf", I know that the ears are canine. But that's a rat with plastic surgery.

Seemed to me like it was yet another piece of evidence that Ray is just a cool, no-nonsense dude who doesn't want his boys to get all bent out of shape if their "honest mistake" lands him in a mental institution for all time.

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I cant for the life of me remember whart Magic Rocks are

Those crystal rocks that would grow really fast:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_rocks

this is a good place to hide The money because nobody Would want a raider's hat

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True any burglar with a sense for the game would run from that room

Except Ice Cube...

...the fuck capitalization is that?

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Yet, they're called "soft"balls. I think Ray should sue.

Come on Mingus totally asked him if he was ready for the ring-a-ding

ray's the kind of cat that doesn't need to make money that way. he makes his cash with new and crazy ideas and fearless risk.

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"honest mistake"

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I like how everybody is still stoned.

Nightlife ain't nowhere to be found.

Vlad is hunting him down for the tough guy type honors.

A plot twist.

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twelve days of incredible physical strength, an increase of 3 inches or more in your manhood, and a completely carefree attitude of life. ray smuckles - you, sir, are blessed.

Magazines about McDonalds by McDondalds are strange, frightening and they exist. These are the things you learn at the 24 hour McDonalds when it is 4am and you've been drinking Manhattans since 4pm.

Is that a typo? Is Cornelius supposed to be asking for the "document" instead of the "instrument"?

I don't want to believe it's a mistake, so I hope someone can explain to me that I'm being an idiot and "instrument" makes sense.

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Whomsoever lamed this is a chode.

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Instrument is legal talk for document. Wills, insurance policy, power of attorney, etc are instruments in the legal sense. The bear is speaking proper.

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No way, he's got an IQ of 183, just like Bach .

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Ray asked for a laser pointer because he is a cat. But he forgot that in order for a cat to properly enjoy a laser pointer, he needs someone else to operate it.

Bollocks, mate.
Ray has hands that can hold things. Ray gets things done.

Besides... I'd also want a laser pointer if I became retarded for a few days and needed some totally mindless entertainment. It isn't just for cats y'know.

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I hope he doesn't find out the truth about "snuggleguns" before the 12 days are up. There is nothing sadder than a retard finding out that his palindrome is not.

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Lyle is genuinely concerned with his trusty bottle by his side.

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I think you may be missing some aspect of "THE MANS ART" but I guess it is really no right of mine to say so.

. . rendered mentally unfit by an 'honest mistake' . Genius. Bloody genius.

Ray has obviously spent some time thinking about this, but I hope his doctor is a man of moral character.

"happiness"

Teodor is still wearing his Penny sweater.

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I have seen one, but not read it.

I did read a magazine about Walmart, by Walmart a few times, though. They were in the break room.

I've always thought Doc A was alright, but this seems ominous.

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All I can think about is that ray is one half of the saddest thing.

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12 days! yesssss...

i wish doctors in the real world still wore those things on their noggins.

it says to the patient, 'I am so confident in my doctor abilities that I can wear this thing on my head and not even be bothered. now let's get down to business.'


You think he's asking for the 500 mile long laser pointer? I'm not sure the others are ready for the eBay platinum, but 7 million should cover it. And I can't see how that wouldn't be fun while stoned.

On further reflection I'm wondering if this strip isn't a variation on that old joke where the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news. The bad news is you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is I just inherited seven million dollars."

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one thing fer sure...they wouldn't have black people and white people in the same issue...ever see their commercials? the twain shall never meet in the McD's universe...

UNDER WHAT I COULD'VE BEEN RICH NOOO

dude, none of the guys would be dumb enough to take that shit, hell if you really want to take seven mil off of Ray a day on the links would suffice.

Ten to one Lyle has bass tabs of Number of the Beast and Am I Evil? in his back pocket...

"happiness"

I love the hidden seven million dollars.

I miss magic rocks.

Hahaha, I love the "you will find seven million dollars under the" at the bottom. Ray has seven million dollars hidden somewhere specifically for this purpose.

Somewhere? look at the third comment. By the way, why is there SO MUCH unfriendliness in in this asset? Nearly all the posts are lamed, most for no real reason atall.

At the time of that post I hadn't changed my lame settings to more than 3. Sorry!

Achewood obviously doesn't play well in New York. Either that, or someone has decided to show their opposition to a comic about mental retardation in the worst way possible.

Ray is truly blessed to have been rendered retarded in his time of greatest risk of attack from his old nemesis diabetes. While slightly different from the well-feared Diabetes Mellitus (aka "The Sugar"), it is not uncommon to develop Diabetes Insipidus following a traumatic head injury.

There is a ridiculous amount of over-laming on this particular strip. Why must we hate on posts?

It was during this arc that Assetbar came into being (it's only been around a few years here); people were still pretty excited with all the buttons.

"A magazine about McDonald's, by McDonald's" is the highlight.