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Proved Myself a Coward. Thursday, September 22, 2005 • read strip Viewing 129 comments:

Indescribable.

A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, fitterhappier, jamb23, ellameno, Carlyle, Contrasoma, jlaw, TripperDay, Norsef, CygnusX-1, apocowarg, Chetyre, lamboyster, zcross00, ZombieJesus, biomusicologist, symbolsoup, FVVS, littlecat, ifergott, Erutangis, vfulton, riotdejaneiro, srmeowmeow, StoatLad, mattbeetee, Hayzeus, orvel, Narcolepticdog, Diggidy, sean1058, redion, glorify, SixtySwine, sevenarts, suburbanrhythm, fell, aargh, CK421, mashisoyo, Bielebog, jfenserty, decagon, hectik, MrSlickster, Ariamaki, jake11, Vweep, StagnantDisplay, anticitizen, dennycrane, Bitaku, funkingout, unalone, rascaldom, FancyRat, dullard, Koremora, slickshoes3234, robbingdog, businesstime, Ebessan, NDCaesar, Conn, Endquote, fancypants, Sweetlips, Sal, prism, abreez_e, atticusonline, Cracklewater, Art-Vader, whirledpeas69, Firehawk, Vee, JesseDaniel, mustconcentrate, mustafa, Lumus, fattypneumonia, Troy_Convers, StoicRomance, luckypyjamas, vexingrupert, makkuwata, BrianNotBrian, fmercury, aesop_punk, LaserBlade, regrepsnefpoh, Njury, redheron, Warren, ravindra108, orrrderup, mugi, bundtcake, aide, Hyetal, andrewthepig, mojowo11, choosebro, Tragic_Johnson, Kelrith, deus, Hidden_7, genocidefish, TheSoulBear, FinnS, Westacular, Boyd, empy, brotherbrian, captneko, zaer, eRiUukFJk, daftsquare, jonnylatron, Xaxx, Squi, hausea, AidenS123, NotCool, clintisiceman, goopotato, mastema23, Morgulon, Madoushi, greyfield, JoulesIsEnergy, echidnaboy, Panserbjorne, pquinn87, captain_wizard, LiquidCruelty, Footbullet, ouroboros, Dallovich, nickb285, icecube, Pigs, aparrish, kestral)

I'm really, really not trying to start an argument here, but it's simply amazing to me that two people, who seem to agree on many things (like the quality of Achewood in general) can see something like... this, and come to such different conclusions.

I thought it was brilliant, completely original, and more than a little bit funny.

and on a slightly related note, what backwoods 59-year-old uses the word 'suckfest'?

this was a poetic drama. and comedy. oh, chris, how you transcend greek tragedies and turn them into online novellas.

A comment left by vweep was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Tad-, FancyRat, Satyr)

A comment left by pogo was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, Chetyre, lamboyster, symbolsoup, Cyberbob, Ariamaki, anticitizen, businesstime, Ebessan, fancypants, mctanuki, Troy_Convers, Behemoth, Shabadoo, Skodra, johnny_diamond, Dallovich, kestral)

LameDaddy, he be runnin at the mouth-
He runs his geriatric north and he can run it south!

And to be fair, I'd say you deserved it there.
Not speaking ill of you as a person, but for an act.

I'd like to say I get that sort of thing a lot myself, but I suspect folks dislike me more as a person. Comes with the territory.

the territory of what?

chubby for stealing an enjoyable ten minutes from me with that wonderful gifloop

Here is a better version.

A comment left by salvagebar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, Ariamaki, Sweetlips, mojowo11)

A comment left by sweetlips was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by love_is_so_punk, riotdejaneiro, glorify, Feste, Ariamaki, Bitaku, Tad-, Endquote, jfen, atticusonline, Aaron_Haynes, ghoti, Lokiamis, Audhumla, Satyr, Appers)

Lamed for laming a man laming a man he did not agree with.

(just fuckin' with you)

We need more people like you.

Just gave you lame #108. You've given my screen name renewed meaning.

Thank you Pogo!

--Ravindra(Pogo's)108(th Lame)

That pretty well describes it.

This right here is Achewood at its best. :)

No comment. 5.

PARADOX!

that is a hell of a way to wake up

it's also a hell of a way to get knocked out! Damn! 5!

A comment left by semiquaver was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, stop, makeitathing, zaer, Slab64)

mother-flecking mind-blowing.

Damn I got lamed for this and all. Come on, people, have a sense of when a thing is simply too outrageous for judgment and all.

And all.

I just voted this whole arc a 5 because it deserves nothing less.

i am of similar sentiment.

I wasn't quite sure what to think of this arc until I got to this strip. Then I went back and rated the rest of them as 5.

The punchline of ages. Songs will be made, stories will be spun.

Just beautiful.

Chubbied for the Darkplace avatar.

Also, the onomatopoeia in this strip is in a different font. Classic.

I still dont blame him, i'd run away too!

You know, when all is said and done, Cartilage Head is kind of an asshole.

If you just call 911 and get Cartilage Head some help, he gives you a hundred dollars and a framed photo of the two of you having a good time.

Then shortly afterward he kills you and strips the skin from your bones to use as polishing cloths for his musical saw.

Cartilage Head can only feed on those who care for him. If Ray were capable of being shamed into remorse and what-ifs by this sort of blatant manipulation, CH would have returned the next night and devoured his joins.

The end of one of my favourite Arcs. Love how detailed the art gets.

I never really understood Cartilage Head. I think it just flew over my head. The art is fantastic though. Are there some references that I'm missing?

The humor of the whole arc turns on the fact that Beef gave Ray his ticket for free, as if it was some big favor. Ray didn't even want to go, he kind of knew he wouldn't like it, but since the tickets are apparently super hard to get (and implicitly, really desirable), Ray figured he might as well.

So, because Ray feels kind of bad shrugging off something that's so supposedly coveted and desirable... he finds himself obligated to sit through the most INSANELY CREEPY and disturbing show of all time, ending with his being completely emasculated.

Why do I feel dirty?

Homer: Moe, I need your advice.
Moe: [bored] Yeah.
Homer: See, I got this friend named...Joey Jo-Jo...Junior...Shabadoo --
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.
[A man leaves, weeping]
Barney: Hey, Joey Jo-Jo!

Homer: See, I got this friend named...Hermish Glockensmermer Ippy...
Moe: That's the worst name I ever heard.

You shouldn't do. That was a great explanation, thank you. :) Makes me wonder why I couldn't understand it the first time.

A chubby for your humility!

An incridible culmination to the arc. Really tops.

A comment left by asherdan was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Jesler729, GeyserShitdick, atticusonline, Siah, dracer2)

[IMGS OFF]

Notice that the camera flash 'poof' is spelled in the French manner.

Totally. This whole arc has a decidedly french art film appeal, doesn't it?

Something tells me that the whole arc really is a personal thing of Onstad's about a brilliant acquaintance of his who died, possibly from AIDS, and he (Onstad) felt like he was an unfeeling automaton during the whole thing.

Or not. ymmv.

I definitely think Onstad was exorcising some personal demons with this story arc. Have a chubby.

"I Proved Myself a Coward (Who Would Desert a Dying Man)" should be a top-5 chart megahit.

sounds like a damned post-emo song title...

like something Fall-Out Boy would sad out of thier faces.

Fall out boy is all hipster cliches, This is humanity.

i made so many people read this story arch.

none of them got it, and one of them hated me afterwards.

As good as we know it is, it is quite possibly the worst single arc on which to initiate the uninitiated. I have a success rate of 2 for 2 when starting my friends on the 2,000 Flushes party. If someone is unable to find something at least vaguely interesting in a sort of stoned Ray, you should just accept that it isn't meant to be.

that's true, that's how i was initiated i think

There is nothing about this story arc to understand. Only things to feel .

A comment left by relaxing was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by suburbanrhythm, 7th_shot, GeyserShitdick, DanS, empy, spry)

amazing none the less. priceless.

political

Who knew Achewood would attract a right-wing crowd? (For assetbar purposes, 3 is a crowd.)

reposted because fuck the haters.
[IMGS OFF]

(credit: not mine)


[IMGS OFF]

Too soon?

BTW, no need to lame - I had to use fuckin GIMP to do that curved writing, which turned out crap anyway. I've suffered enough.

as you will tell, i am a huge fan of GIMP. i use it all the time. why, last night, even!

Never too soon, that man is a villain. Kudos sir, I laughed.

Is it possible for a thing to not be too soon, then become too soon at a later point in time?

fin.

A comment left by paco was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Mangtastic, PEZ, LRosetw8, spicyponyhead)

Panel 4: A decidedly non-cartilagous PAW!

COULD THIS BE FOUL PLAY??

I don't think the photographer was supposed to be Cartilage Head.

BUT WHO??

Come on, who gave Ray those tickets? It was Roast Beef, he got Lyle to fix up that car and orchestrated the whole thing.

i too think it was beef who arranged the entire thing. however, i still wonder who is behind the camera, if anyone we know. the only evidence is the hand holding the flash..

gotta be roast beef's hand.... or is it PAT?! (retribution for Ray not borrowing Pat his gun?!?! THIK ABOUT IT!)

OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

And with someone other than Cartilage Head having taken the picture, it remains possible that CH did indeed die with a snap a few panels ago. A performance artist to the very end, he orchestrated his own suicide to make an audience member feel singularly uncomfortable. There should be a posthumous Badass medal for this sort of occasion.

Ray should've skipped a day.

Why isn't the last panel a shirt? I would be all over that.

I think the hat is complimentary along with the photo.

The hat has a Cadillac logo on it. It was probably complimentary, but Ray likely got it with the purchase of his Escalade, rather than from Cartilage Head.

I thought it was a Phat Farm. But then I'm white.

I think it's more because you are woefully ignorant.

Couldn't have said it better if I tried.

Both the Phat Farm and the Cadillac logos are depicted wreathed in laurels, symbolizing victory.

However, while the Cadillac emblem comes from Antoine De Lamothe-Cadillac's family coat of arms, the connection between Phat Farm's capital 'P' and founder Russel Simmons is less clear.

Where is the hat sitting? It gives the impression of being a bedside table... but there are no bedside tables next to his bed!

haunting. 5

Bonus points for the indietit in panel 7

man that was exactly what I was thinking, I don't think Jeph Jacques actually drew that though.

Cartilage Head pretty much pulled the most epic insult in history on Ray. I have the set of two posters printing this arc on my bedroom wall, and they make for a great conversation piece.

as far as conversation pieces go, maybe this isn't as much an insult as it is a gift. we get to the point that even shocking media and performance art can't faze us. But this happening to you just might leave a lasting impression.

Hoho! You got PUNK'D!

I can imagine nothing more unnerving than waking naked in your own bed after the events of that particular night.

A comment left by el_connor was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jamb23, tekende, pkitty, lordatog, rowboat, anticitizen, norm, Lumus, PEZ, empy, HollyBones, philosophe)

WAIT... what?

you can read all about it in his livejournal entry.

Not to be excessively cruel, but el_connor's X comment just might be the lamest comment that has ever been committed to assetbar. That's some stiff competition, too.

Particularly since he can't even spell the street name of the drug.

that's just the ecstacy talking, ma'am.

Hey, uh, do you really think Onstad has a piece of his past where he deserted a dying man?

Well, if you told me you were drowning
I would not lend a hand
Ive seen your face before my friend
But I dont know if you know who I am
Well, I was there and I saw what you did
I saw it with my own two eyes
So you can wipe off the grin, I know where youve been
Its all been a pack of lies

https://retrocrush.buzznet.com/archive2004/coolsongs/audio/airtonight.mp3


BUM bum BUM bum BUM bum butty-bum-bum-BUM-bum-bum!

DON'T EAT THE BREAKFAST BURRITTO!

that blew my mind

Today's Blogs

Philippe: A baby bird! Hooray!
Lyle: piss been decent
Nice Pete: An update to my book.
Little Nephew: Anchovies ain't crappy

This is a weird period in Lyle's blog, where "Ace of Spades" is converted to "My piss weekly"

And they keep making me laugh, even though I don't want to.

Particularly good lil neph snippet. Anchovies be mouth citizens.

This remains my favourite arc, despite not being nearly so affecting on a read through in the archive.

That... that's amazing.

Wow. If this whole thing overall were a real performance art piece, it would be pretty amazing.

This was my first achwood strip, and as I backtracked through the archives to see what was going on I only got more unsure about my comic decision. It makes much more sense working through in non-reverse order

My mind is blown. Before reading Achewood I neer would have imagined an comic strip about anthropomorphized cats could be this awesome. It's like a David Lynch movie, but with cats... and a five year old otter.

I wrote a long conspiracy-laden post about Mr. Bear snocking up Lyle with enough Johnny Walker Red to carry and strip Ray, including close-ups of hands as evidence...

But then I realized the story arc is this perfect and disturbing piece of Noir, like smoke clinging to clothing that lingers for so long afterward.

SNAP!!

this is the best surreal arc there is

Panel 6 - Mister Teal's first appearance

I'm not sure whether or not the "POUF!" sound effect is also name-calling Ray for his cowardice, but I'd like to think Onstad would slip in such as a homophobic double-entedre for us hyper-observers.

epic.

All I can say about this entire "Cartilage Head" cul-de-sac / story-arc / thingie is that every time I have have a whisper of a suspicion that I have kinda poked into every emotional or aesthetic corner Mr. Onstad can explore with this ... thing called Achewood, he has proven me wrong.

And I like it when that happens. No. Actually, I love when that happens.

That is a lovely drawing of a sparrow.


It is. But I'm a Yankee and the closest thing I can find to it in my Peterson's is the House Sparrow. Figures if it was: Invasive species, mice with wings, common as dirt.

I just noticed the sparrow is maybe singing the same song CH played on his saw... (I think?)

"Lachrymose Pathetique"

One must be able to procure said plaque as a picture frame for self/friends. I demand it.

Indeed, sir or madame. I was thinking the exact same thing myself.


Man fuck that guy