william
+4 -0
Man I bet that is hell of effective.
Man I bet that is hell of effective.
saint
+0 -0
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sean1058, c_dizzle, Orskasm, Archon_Divinus)
A comment left by saint was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by sean1058, c_dizzle, Orskasm, Archon_Divinus)
dotacreepy
+14 -0
Your manager keeps looking at your man-boobs (moobs)?
Your manager keeps looking at your man-boobs (moobs)?
waldo913
+55 -0
I am impressed by the fact that your manager shudders to a climax by right of your conversation alone. That is serious mojo.
I am impressed by the fact that your manager shudders to a climax by right of your conversation alone. That is serious mojo.
fmercury
+11 -0
Dude is a *great* conversationalist.
Dude is a *great* conversationalist.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
A comment left by greenkoolayd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Rhadamanthus, Scorpio_nadir, ohnoadeathray)
A comment left by greenkoolayd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Rhadamanthus, Scorpio_nadir, ohnoadeathray)
saint
+1 -0
Dob't be a cock to a stranger. Me being the stranger.
Don't be a cock to me.
Dob't be a cock to a stranger. Me being the stranger.
Don't be a cock to me.
soticoto
+0 -0
Or else you'll need a longer car.
Or else you'll need a longer car.
dusty
+0 -0
This string of comments has had me laughing so hard there were tears in my eyes. That being done merely by typing, I'm inclined to believe his claim.
This string of comments has had me laughing so hard there were tears in my eyes. That being done merely by typing, I'm inclined to believe his claim.
senseihollywood
+13 -0
...you must be rocking, like, 25 pieces of flair minimum
...you must be rocking, like, 25 pieces of flair minimum
rosie
+19 -1
Riblets and oil salad to the monotremes. That sums up the Applebee's experience quite nicely.
Riblets and oil salad to the monotremes. That sums up the Applebee's experience quite nicely.
godfatherofsouls
+4 -0
man why we gotta rag on monotremes. Platypi and echindnae usu. stay the hell away from applebees.
man why we gotta rag on monotremes. Platypi and echindnae usu. stay the hell away from applebees.
charchar
+3 -0
Unlike humans, the monotremes do not allow their self-preservation instincts to be overwhelmed by the siren call of dessert shooters. Clearly they are evoliution's meisterwerk .
Unlike humans, the monotremes do not allow their self-preservation instincts to be overwhelmed by the siren call of dessert shooters. Clearly they are evoliution's meisterwerk .
echidnaboy
+12 -0
Yeah man I mean riblets are hell of tasty but basically wreak havoc on the cloaca
Yeah man I mean riblets are hell of tasty but basically wreak havoc on the cloaca
soticoto
+0 -0
There has been a lot of rare-type synergy lately.
Liking it.
There has been a lot of rare-type synergy lately.
Liking it.
jaredwilde
+0 -0
Hey now, I work at Applebees myself. It is really a mostly decent place. Mostly. And only decent. Better than a lot of places though
Hey now, I work at Applebees myself. It is really a mostly decent place. Mostly. And only decent. Better than a lot of places though
boredom_man
+2 -0
I take it you don't really like... meals.
I take it you don't really like... meals.
overmedicated
+28 -1
I did this on a chick. She loved it. Help.
I did this on a chick. She loved it. Help.
howard
+153 -2
Well gosh you ain't supposed to try it on a chick dude that is like honey to a bear right there.
Well gosh you ain't supposed to try it on a chick dude that is like honey to a bear right there.
dropkickpikachu
+0 -0
This is such a goddamn beautiful comment that chubbying it isn't enough.
This is such a goddamn beautiful comment that chubbying it isn't enough.
blarghamagarky
+0 -0
A comment left by blarghamagarky was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, blahhhhhhh, sid)
A comment left by blarghamagarky was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, blahhhhhhh, sid)
blarghamagarky
+14 -0
The person who lamed me has experienced the sting of this situation and is just mad about it
The person who lamed me has experienced the sting of this situation and is just mad about it
heccibiggs
+4 -0
Clearly true. Also, I fully agree with your original comment.
Clearly true. Also, I fully agree with your original comment.
tekende
+13 -0
Oh shit guys the girls are talking to each other the girls are talking what are we gonna do??
Oh shit guys the girls are talking to each other the girls are talking what are we gonna do??
blarghamagarky
+0 -0
apparently stalk all of my and biggs' comments, tekende!!
HA
I joke
apparently stalk all of my and biggs' comments, tekende!!
HA
I joke
cryztal
+6 -2
The only thing to drive apart the ladies is to make them compete against each other for the sexual attentions of some douchenozzle that works at Starbucks.
The only thing to drive apart the ladies is to make them compete against each other for the sexual attentions of some douchenozzle that works at Starbucks.
soticoto
+0 -0
Be glad that Assetbar has passed the Bechdel Test?
Be glad that Assetbar has passed the Bechdel Test?
cryztal
+0 -0
Word.
Chubbied, one lady to another.
Word.
Chubbied, one lady to another.
belgand
+4 -0
Ladies should definitely be chubbying one another. I think this is something that we can all agree on.
Ladies should definitely be chubbying one another. I think this is something that we can all agree on.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
That's a hella phone. How would that work exactly?
Wow! etc, etc...
That's a hella phone. How would that work exactly?
Wow! etc, etc...
epicurus
+2 -1
SO. PERFECT.
Probably my favourite strip. I have shown this to women in order to demonstrate a difference between average women and average men in terms of what makes or breaks a relationship, with mixed results.
SO. PERFECT.
Probably my favourite strip. I have shown this to women in order to demonstrate a difference between average women and average men in terms of what makes or breaks a relationship, with mixed results.
chaesar
+0 -0
A comment left by chaesar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by twohundredninety, sneechles, _cheesekayke)
A comment left by chaesar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by twohundredninety, sneechles, _cheesekayke)
mikebox
+9 -0
More like his girlfriend from Heaven came here to have to work at Applebee's so he's staring at the outlet again.
More like his girlfriend from Heaven came here to have to work at Applebee's so he's staring at the outlet again.
godfatherofsouls
+5 -0
the outlet is beef's Radiator.
the outlet is beef's Radiator.
riazm
+6 -0
The great thing about this comment is although I know what you're talking about, I don't know what you MEAN.
The great thing about this comment is although I know what you're talking about, I don't know what you MEAN.
rowboat
+2 -0
In the wiring, everything is fine. You got your good conductor and I have mine.
In the wiring, everything is fine. You got your good conductor and I have mine.
wonelove
+2 -0
It's his method of choice for entering Hell
It's his method of choice for entering Hell
farqussus
+7 -0
and he spends his entire day cataloguing the ways he's ruining Molly's life, gets defensive, has pre-emptive arguments with her and ends up furious at her for liking him.
and he spends his entire day cataloguing the ways he's ruining Molly's life, gets defensive, has pre-emptive arguments with her and ends up furious at her for liking him.
cryztal
+3 -0
Typical guy with low self-esteem dude.
Roast Beef is so much better imaginary than he would be as a real life dude. Please believe me.
Typical guy with low self-esteem dude.
Roast Beef is so much better imaginary than he would be as a real life dude. Please believe me.
sneechles
+0 -0
sorry... did not mean to lame
I agree.
sorry... did not mean to lame
I agree.
robocop
+0 -0
i'll finally put this out there. molly is hot. is that weird? that, that i, i find her, er, attractive?
i'll finally put this out there. molly is hot. is that weird? that, that i, i find her, er, attractive?
epicurus
+0 -0
Yes
Yes
robocop
+0 -0
then this stays between you and me, cool? i might run for PTA treasurer someday
then this stays between you and me, cool? i might run for PTA treasurer someday
epicurus
+0 -0
What's it worth to you? *brandishes incriminating polaroids*
What's it worth to you? *brandishes incriminating polaroids*
1000hz
+1 -2
Tell him that the car you currently have will no longer be long enough.
Tell him that the car you currently have will no longer be long enough.
qingofchina
+1 -0
He won't even roll over.
He won't even roll over.
hollis
+4 -0
Molly is completely unfazed by the fact that he is lying on the floor, in fetal position, facing the wall. It's good when you get to know someone that well. Good thing she eventually got him the special lamp ( https://achewood.com/index.php?date=11202006
Molly is completely unfazed by the fact that he is lying on the floor, in fetal position, facing the wall. It's good when you get to know someone that well. Good thing she eventually got him the special lamp ( https://achewood.com/index.php?date=11202006
hollis
+16 -0
) Oh, closing parentheses...
) Oh, closing parentheses...
i_love_kate
+4 -0
Don't worry, that's pretty much the best way to get chubbies on AssetBar.
Don't worry, that's pretty much the best way to get chubbies on AssetBar.
lolsworth
+2 -0
He is a cat after all
He is a cat after all
millyqpublic
+1 -0
This is my favorite
This is my favorite
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
A comment left by featurelessvoid was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, millyqpublic, ButterMoths, equinn2006, brzbee, Carrot, proof_man, theplaidknight, LiquidCruelty, Centipede_Damascus, Darthemed)
A comment left by featurelessvoid was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by johnnybaverage, millyqpublic, ButterMoths, equinn2006, brzbee, Carrot, proof_man, theplaidknight, LiquidCruelty, Centipede_Damascus, Darthemed)
centipede_damascus
+3 -0
Roast Beef knows how to make a man stop looking at your breasts. That is probably the actual only way to do it unless you are willing to cut one or both of them off.
Roast Beef knows how to make a man stop looking at your breasts. That is probably the actual only way to do it unless you are willing to cut one or both of them off.
liquidcruelty
+4 -0
No, I should think that would just make it so one could have them in a small box to view at one's leisure
but then the problem may be solved because they are debatably still -her- breasts if someone else has possession of them
this is not a productive area of discussion
No, I should think that would just make it so one could have them in a small box to view at one's leisure
but then the problem may be solved because they are debatably still -her- breasts if someone else has possession of them
this is not a productive area of discussion
gethen
+3 -0
I first saw "That is probably the only way to do it unless you are willing to cut one."
And I thought, you know loud gas would work on about half... but it would completely encourage the other half.
I first saw "That is probably the only way to do it unless you are willing to cut one."
And I thought, you know loud gas would work on about half... but it would completely encourage the other half.
boredom_man
+0 -0
I hope you do not honestly think that women who must have their breasts removed get less stares as a result.
I hope you do not honestly think that women who must have their breasts removed get less stares as a result.
matthearn
+1 -1
Does Beef routinely nap on the floor? Or is he drunk? Like, all by himself yes *exactly*?
Does Beef routinely nap on the floor? Or is he drunk? Like, all by himself yes *exactly*?
robobogle
+5 -0
He's a cat.
He's a cat.
lrosetw8
+0 -0
That's what I was gonna say.
At first I was all "What's he doin' on the floor?", then I remembered that he was a cat.
That's what I was gonna say.
At first I was all "What's he doin' on the floor?", then I remembered that he was a cat.
gethen
+0 -0
but you do not see molly ever lying fetal on the floor, even at home. When ray has, it's been because he has his slant on so hard he fell right over. i have not seen the other cats display this behavior but now i will pay more attention.
but you do not see molly ever lying fetal on the floor, even at home. When ray has, it's been because he has his slant on so hard he fell right over. i have not seen the other cats display this behavior but now i will pay more attention.
nillsner
+0 -0
Its because the dude is hell of depressed. Molly and the other cats aren't depressed. Read a few more strips it'll all come together.
Its because the dude is hell of depressed. Molly and the other cats aren't depressed. Read a few more strips it'll all come together.
rowboat
+0 -2
Yeah, the guy who said that Beef is laying on the floor because "he's a cat" is not the one to listen to about this. If his answer is at all serious, I have to imagine that much of what makes this comic worth reading is probably lost on him. And if he's joking, well, it's a boring joke. Either way, trust nillsner and I.
Yeah, the guy who said that Beef is laying on the floor because "he's a cat" is not the one to listen to about this. If his answer is at all serious, I have to imagine that much of what makes this comic worth reading is probably lost on him. And if he's joking, well, it's a boring joke. Either way, trust nillsner and I.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
If it's just "He's a cat!" then he wouldn't be staring at an outlet. We've seen this behavior before in Beef, and it never comes from a happy place.
If it's just "He's a cat!" then he wouldn't be staring at an outlet. We've seen this behavior before in Beef, and it never comes from a happy place.
mygoodfriend
+2 -0
I hear monotreme and I go to echidnas, like, instantly. I feel strange.
I hear monotreme and I go to echidnas, like, instantly. I feel strange.
mattylite
+0 -0
Isn't there only like two kinds? them and platypi? On a related note, I envy their abilities of electroreception , if not teir typical meals at Applebees.
Isn't there only like two kinds? them and platypi? On a related note, I envy their abilities of electroreception , if not teir typical meals at Applebees.
mattylite
+0 -0
their
their
mountaindewtab
+0 -0
roast beef always makes me check dictionary.com. and i have a considerable vocab
roast beef always makes me check dictionary.com. and i have a considerable vocab
tekende
+0 -0
This is one of my favorite strips, but it has had the unfortunate side effect that I now think of this every time I climax during sex.
This is one of my favorite strips, but it has had the unfortunate side effect that I now think of this every time I climax during sex.
tekende
+5 -0
NOT THAT THAT REALLY HAPPENS FREQUENTLY ANYWAY HAHAHA oh god
NOT THAT THAT REALLY HAPPENS FREQUENTLY ANYWAY HAHAHA oh god
spinynorman
+8 -1
Man I hate it when chicks get babies from my weiner
I'm all like COME ON WEINER THAT IS JUST DANG RUDE
Man I hate it when chicks get babies from my weiner
I'm all like COME ON WEINER THAT IS JUST DANG RUDE
bixschmix
+0 -0
Gunnysacks, man. Ain't fun but gets the job done.
Gunnysacks, man. Ain't fun but gets the job done.
spinynorman
+14 -1
Probably the greatest "stupid guy thing" to say that I have ever heard happened at a party I was at. I was trying to fill up my cup when some guys right behind me started talking. I guess some hot chick walked in front of them, because one guy turned to the other and drunkenly slurred at the top of his lungs, " Man, I'd sure like to to put some babies in HER ass! "
I had to leave the room, I was laughing so hard. I can't believe the public school system failed that young man so badly.
Probably the greatest "stupid guy thing" to say that I have ever heard happened at a party I was at. I was trying to fill up my cup when some guys right behind me started talking. I guess some hot chick walked in front of them, because one guy turned to the other and drunkenly slurred at the top of his lungs, " Man, I'd sure like to to put some babies in HER ass! "
I had to leave the room, I was laughing so hard. I can't believe the public school system failed that young man so badly.
boredom_man
+0 -0
He was mimicking O.D.B., actually.
He was mimicking O.D.B., actually.
tekende
+3 -0
...Omar...the Dead Bagel...?
...Omar...the Dead Bagel...?
boredom_man
+0 -0
Omar the Dead Bagel is too black-sounding for Patrick Bateman.
Omar the Dead Bagel is too black-sounding for Patrick Bateman.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
Don't omar that bagel,
my friend.
Pass it over
to me.
Don't omar that bagel,
my friend.
Pass it over
to me.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
it seems like more of a chauvinistic inside-joke, than a lack of biological understanding.
it seems like more of a chauvinistic inside-joke, than a lack of biological understanding.
xiaomimi
+20 -0
Today's Blogs
Ray: Dinner with Tina.
Teodor: Jesus Philippe
Onstad: Some thoughts on my vacation to Kauai - pt II
Today's Blogs
Ray: Dinner with Tina.
Teodor: Jesus Philippe
Onstad: Some thoughts on my vacation to Kauai - pt II
i_love_kate
+1 -0
I know that more often than not Teodor just comes off as Onstad parodying himself, but damnit all if he isn't the most hilarious blogger in the main.
(Note: I am sorry, Xiaomimi, if I keep clogging your inbox with these inane comments. It is because I have decided to read through the blogs at the same time as moving through the strip archives, which is incidentally a very fulfilling experience.)
Oh, and thanks again for making it so deliciously convenient!
I know that more often than not Teodor just comes off as Onstad parodying himself, but damnit all if he isn't the most hilarious blogger in the main.
(Note: I am sorry, Xiaomimi, if I keep clogging your inbox with these inane comments. It is because I have decided to read through the blogs at the same time as moving through the strip archives, which is incidentally a very fulfilling experience.)
Oh, and thanks again for making it so deliciously convenient!
dasuta
+0 -0
Beef seems to spend a lot of time reviewing that socket.
Beef seems to spend a lot of time reviewing that socket.
redmange
+0 -0
Him and that socket been through things man. Things a guy and his socket shouldn't have to go through.
Him and that socket been through things man. Things a guy and his socket shouldn't have to go through.
cpnglxynchos
+2 -0
you're bangin' a power socket but whatever. no cookies for you.
you're bangin' a power socket but whatever. no cookies for you.
deliciousmuffin
+3 -0
Is it wrong that I think the way Roast Beef is lying there is totally cute?
Also, my cat sleeps like that sometimes. I can only hope she doesn't have depression.
Is it wrong that I think the way Roast Beef is lying there is totally cute?
Also, my cat sleeps like that sometimes. I can only hope she doesn't have depression.
lowtrees
+1 -0
She does. Stop beating your cat. You've given your cat depression.
She does. Stop beating your cat. You've given your cat depression.
poodlelucy
+2 -0
I thoroughly enjoy comics that forces me to look up words I am not familiar with. Who says the internet is a wasteland? Not this gal!
...and 1 for working monotreme into a functioning sentence.
I thoroughly enjoy comics that forces me to look up words I am not familiar with. Who says the internet is a wasteland? Not this gal!
...and 1 for working monotreme into a functioning sentence.
mikestan
+0 -0
I often forget these are cats were watching and then I see Beef in this position and think immediately of my cat. Fucking brilliant.
I often forget these are cats were watching and then I see Beef in this position and think immediately of my cat. Fucking brilliant.
unkle_bob
+1 -0
Am I the only person who read it as metronomes the first couple times? Or only the first person to admit?
Am I the only person who read it as metronomes the first couple times? Or only the first person to admit?
audry
+0 -0
i'm a little worried beef is going to puke on the outlet again.
i'm a little worried beef is going to puke on the outlet again.
carlyle
+0 -0
If he gave you babies from his giant red dong you are going to need a lnoger car.
If he gave you babies from his giant red dong you are going to need a lnoger car.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
wtf, roast beef? wieners are not where babies physically originate.
wtf, roast beef? wieners are not where babies physically originate.
gorrioncita
+0 -2
do you know beef is basically the worst person.
do you know beef is basically the worst person.
lolsworth
+0 -0
Molly doesn't even bring up or react to the fact that Beef is curled up in the corner staring at the outlet through half-closed eyes. That's why she is perfect for him.
Of course, it could just be where he's a cat, and such as curling up in odd places is characteristic of cats.
Molly doesn't even bring up or react to the fact that Beef is curled up in the corner staring at the outlet through half-closed eyes. That's why she is perfect for him.
Of course, it could just be where he's a cat, and such as curling up in odd places is characteristic of cats.
admiral_klank
+0 -0
No one portrays depression as spot-on as Onstad.
No one portrays depression as spot-on as Onstad.
johnnybaverage
+0 -0
We don't need to see Molly's face in the last panel. We know. We know.
We don't need to see Molly's face in the last panel. We know. We know.
Hah!! Babies... from his wiener
You mean the wiener that I... boned?
Wait.
Implying that he could possibly give her babies from elsewhere?
Probably Uganda.