vondangerous
+4 -1
How to make a Plane go loop de loop should totally be followed by how to fly a chopper so that it doesn't decapitate anyone upon landing.
How to make a Plane go loop de loop should totally be followed by how to fly a chopper so that it doesn't decapitate anyone upon landing.
waldo913
+27 -0
That's covered in "Decapitation - The Truth".
That's covered in "Decapitation - The Truth".
red_rooster
+11 -0
Hats OK.
Hats OK.
sredni
+0 -0
A comment left by sredni was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by farqussus, CanusDivinus, jeffreyquah, RBisme, theplaidknight, Archon_Divinus)
A comment left by sredni was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by farqussus, CanusDivinus, jeffreyquah, RBisme, theplaidknight, Archon_Divinus)
catachresis
+7 -0
It is so true that Beef would be thinking this at night while his fine woman is lying next to him. He is so often the saddest thing.
It is so true that Beef would be thinking this at night while his fine woman is lying next to him. He is so often the saddest thing.
zefiel
+29 -0
He feels he is unworthy of the fine lady and wants to improve himself for her. That, is what being completely raw means.
He feels he is unworthy of the fine lady and wants to improve himself for her. That, is what being completely raw means.
hipjiverobot
+2 -0
That, and she's asleep.
That, and she's asleep.
belgand
+0 -0
And it is largely accepted as the main nature of a lady to not want to engage in such acts the majority of the time.
And it is largely accepted as the main nature of a lady to not want to engage in such acts the majority of the time.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I think you just revealed something unfortunate about your love life.
I think you just revealed something unfortunate about your love life.
belgand
+0 -0
I thought ladies thinking sex was the worst of things was basically a constant. This is not so?
I thought ladies thinking sex was the worst of things was basically a constant. This is not so?
apocowarg
+0 -0
Not in my experience. A couple of my girlfriends have been far more into sex than myself.
Not in my experience. A couple of my girlfriends have been far more into sex than myself.
belgand
+11 -1
Maybe you've been chemically castrated without your knowledge? This is a common problem these days and many men find that this is done either by business rivals, shadowy government agents both domestic and foreign, and occasionally just friends having a bit of a laugh with you.
You should check with your physician. If he says this is not the case then he is probably the one doing it.
Maybe you've been chemically castrated without your knowledge? This is a common problem these days and many men find that this is done either by business rivals, shadowy government agents both domestic and foreign, and occasionally just friends having a bit of a laugh with you.
You should check with your physician. If he says this is not the case then he is probably the one doing it.
undyingsong
+0 -0
Absolutely untrue. I am a lady; I think sex is rad.
Absolutely untrue. I am a lady; I think sex is rad.
belgand
+1 -0
Women who think sex is rad only exist to make the rest of us feel like we have made the worst life choices. You have to know what you're missing to appreciate how bad you have it.
Women who think sex is rad only exist to make the rest of us feel like we have made the worst life choices. You have to know what you're missing to appreciate how bad you have it.
heccibiggs
+2 -1
Look dude I'm just starting to feel sorry for you, stop talking, you're just continually lessening your status with every comment you make in this thread.
Look dude I'm just starting to feel sorry for you, stop talking, you're just continually lessening your status with every comment you make in this thread.
tragicone
+2 -0
I have sex at every moment of my life!
I have sex at every moment of my life!
nickb285
+2 -0
That seems like it would get inconvenient after a while.
That seems like it would get inconvenient after a while.
soticoto
+0 -0
You're proving him right in the process.
You're proving him right in the process.
rowboat
+6 -1
zefiel, that is the antithesis of raw.
zefiel, that is the antithesis of raw.
boredom_man
+5 -0
Like cool and anticool, the antithesis of raw is itself completely raw.
Like cool and anticool, the antithesis of raw is itself completely raw.
soticoto
+0 -0
Baked?
Baked?
tragicone
+0 -0
oh man, is that avatar Noel Fielding?
I hope so because here is a chubby for a sexy dude.
oh man, is that avatar Noel Fielding?
I hope so because here is a chubby for a sexy dude.
geysershitdick
+2 -0
I snickered the hell out of this comic.
I snickered the hell out of this comic.
howard
+0 -0
A comment left by howard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, wildcat, tttt)
A comment left by howard was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, wildcat, tttt)
snatch22
+8 -2
Derrida was a French philosopher who basically invented deconstruction (a pain in the ass literary theory). Adding the "her" and "he' I think is just a funny way of poking fun at the pretentious people who use it, but there may be more to it.
Derrida was a French philosopher who basically invented deconstruction (a pain in the ass literary theory). Adding the "her" and "he' I think is just a funny way of poking fun at the pretentious people who use it, but there may be more to it.
kilroywashere
+15 -0
Has to be poking fun at feminist-based gender studies, specifically. One buck gets you two that the word being covered up by the bulletin is 'male'. In fact, while we're at it, look between the second and third panels of the comic proper.
Onstad actually wrote course descriptions for all of those classes and covered a third of them up. Man, I love this comic.
Has to be poking fun at feminist-based gender studies, specifically. One buck gets you two that the word being covered up by the bulletin is 'male'. In fact, while we're at it, look between the second and third panels of the comic proper.
Onstad actually wrote course descriptions for all of those classes and covered a third of them up. Man, I love this comic.
bixschmix
+4 -0
The first thing I thought of was the feminist critique of English that claims that the language is so ingrained with patriarchy that we need to start spelling women "womyn." When my debate team was losing really bad, one of our last-ditch efforts included running a critique of the resolution and the other team's proposal based on its "patriarchy."
Never worked, though. Can't say we were surprised.
The first thing I thought of was the feminist critique of English that claims that the language is so ingrained with patriarchy that we need to start spelling women "womyn." When my debate team was losing really bad, one of our last-ditch efforts included running a critique of the resolution and the other team's proposal based on its "patriarchy."
Never worked, though. Can't say we were surprised.
charchar
+16 -1
Honestly, as an etymology whore, I feel the situation has gotten ridiculous , and the whole 'herstory' thing undermines both the English language and the feminist movement. History comes from the Greek %u1F31%u03C3%u03C4%u03BF%u03C1%u03AF%u03B1 (historia), %u201C%u2018learning through research, narration of what is learned.%u2019%u201D This makes 'herstory' simply a pun. Come on feminists, get on the ball.
Honestly, as an etymology whore, I feel the situation has gotten ridiculous , and the whole 'herstory' thing undermines both the English language and the feminist movement. History comes from the Greek %u1F31%u03C3%u03C4%u03BF%u03C1%u03AF%u03B1 (historia), %u201C%u2018learning through research, narration of what is learned.%u2019%u201D This makes 'herstory' simply a pun. Come on feminists, get on the ball.
charchar
+3 -0
BBcode, you will pay mightily.
BBcode, you will pay mightily.
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Chubbied for a) a good point, well made; b) appropriate link; c) naive optimism re. Assetbar text formatting.
Chubbied for a) a good point, well made; b) appropriate link; c) naive optimism re. Assetbar text formatting.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
A comment left by hedonismbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, wildcat, Mangtastic, Scorpio_nadir, thegrumpysnail, fmercury, diplomat76)
A comment left by hedonismbot was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, wildcat, Mangtastic, Scorpio_nadir, thegrumpysnail, fmercury, diplomat76)
smallberries
+1 -1
I *love* this exact variety of humor. Bravo. (golf-clap)
I *love* this exact variety of humor. Bravo. (golf-clap)
laserblade
+0 -0
Shoulda made an image.
Shoulda made an image.
cagliostro
+1 -0
Oh man, I want there to be actual etymology whores. You take her back to your place and spend an hour discussing obscure derivations. She charges £20 for Anglo-Saxon or Germanic (fuck, blow-job), £40 for Latin (cunnilingus, intercrural), and £60 for Greek (trichophilia, knismolagnia). Some of them will do homosexuality, but that's half-and-half so it's pretty kinky.
Then she leaves, and you put the dictionaries away with a faint feeling of shame and go for a shower.
Oh man, I want there to be actual etymology whores. You take her back to your place and spend an hour discussing obscure derivations. She charges £20 for Anglo-Saxon or Germanic (fuck, blow-job), £40 for Latin (cunnilingus, intercrural), and £60 for Greek (trichophilia, knismolagnia). Some of them will do homosexuality, but that's half-and-half so it's pretty kinky.
Then she leaves, and you put the dictionaries away with a faint feeling of shame and go for a shower.
belgand
+0 -0
I've never found a half-and-half to be either particularly kinky or costing more than the standard rate. I suspect that you are getting ripped off.
Do let me know if you find a lady willing to do tonal. I've been wanting to try that out for a while now.
I've never found a half-and-half to be either particularly kinky or costing more than the standard rate. I suspect that you are getting ripped off.
Do let me know if you find a lady willing to do tonal. I've been wanting to try that out for a while now.
belgand
+0 -0
Yep. The conceit is that deconstructing and destroying are inherently male, negative, aggressive concepts built on the need to destroy while womyn are caring and nurturing and only want to do positive things that build and create.
Yep. The conceit is that deconstructing and destroying are inherently male, negative, aggressive concepts built on the need to destroy while womyn are caring and nurturing and only want to do positive things that build and create.
tekende
+2 -0
But a visit to any high school will show that many girls can be just as, if not more, destructive than any man.
But a visit to any high school will show that many girls can be just as, if not more, destructive than any man.
soticoto
+0 -0
Instead of "man" and "woman", I advocate "lady" and "malady".
Instead of "man" and "woman", I advocate "lady" and "malady".
sp1derbaby
+0 -0
There are too many things about this strip worthy of a 5 rating all by themselves.
There are too many things about this strip worthy of a 5 rating all by themselves.
senseihollywood
+0 -1
Previous Historic Skill Sets include: [url=https://achewood.com/index.php?date=05282004/]The Gentlemanly Arts[url/], Marion Adonis Culpupper, instructor
Previous Historic Skill Sets include: [url=https://achewood.com/index.php?date=05282004/]The Gentlemanly Arts[url/], Marion Adonis Culpupper, instructor
griggs_although
+0 -0
...Boned?
...Boned?
sp1derbaby
+0 -0
BBowned.
BBowned.
senseihollywood
+1 -2
ah shit, lemme try that again
ah shit, lemme try that again
senseihollywood
+0 -0
A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yellowcardigan, stoned_lightning, Darthemed)
A comment left by senseihollywood was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yellowcardigan, stoned_lightning, Darthemed)
senseihollywood
+12 -1
sigh...one last time...it seemed funny to me at first
I guess I'm the guy who sucks, plus I don't know BBCode...I guess I'll look for it in the Community College brochure...
Previous Historic Skill Sets include: The Gentlemanly Arts , Marion Adonis Culpepper, instructor
sigh...one last time...it seemed funny to me at first
I guess I'm the guy who sucks, plus I don't know BBCode...I guess I'll look for it in the Community College brochure...
Previous Historic Skill Sets include: The Gentlemanly Arts , Marion Adonis Culpepper, instructor
rowboat
+0 -0
The agony of defeat.
The agony of defeat.
closefriend
+1 -0
E-mailing acc178@verizon.com is gradually being phased out in favor of texting ACC's Verizon cell phone.
E-mailing acc178@verizon.com is gradually being phased out in favor of texting ACC's Verizon cell phone.
splifftastic
+0 -0
Huh, in the book it says defenestration instead of decapitation. Easy mistake to make, I guess.
Huh, in the book it says defenestration instead of decapitation. Easy mistake to make, I guess.
tommchenry
+12 -0
I love when Onstad does dead-on parodies of flyers and documents, etc. It's boss work that does like 8 jokes in one strip - and then he covers some up with panels like it ain't no thing.
I love when Onstad does dead-on parodies of flyers and documents, etc. It's boss work that does like 8 jokes in one strip - and then he covers some up with panels like it ain't no thing.
tekende
+0 -0
Hey man, I read your graphic novel, it was pretty awesome stuff!
I guess you'll never see this message though
Hey man, I read your graphic novel, it was pretty awesome stuff!
I guess you'll never see this message though
clever-nickname
+0 -0
We may never know how to steal a pig.
We may never know how to steal a pig.
geysershitdick
+0 -0
But it was nice of Onstad to include the course description in the alt text.
But it was nice of Onstad to include the course description in the alt text.
professoryes
+0 -0
My community college handout always has great core classes. Then it'll introduce something like "JEWELRY" and everyone will flock to that because it's exciting. Then they cancel it due to lack of interest. So it goes.
My community college handout always has great core classes. Then it'll introduce something like "JEWELRY" and everyone will flock to that because it's exciting. Then they cancel it due to lack of interest. So it goes.
jlowe424
+1 -0
Learning how to make a plane go loop-de-loop is worth fewer credits than How to Steal a Pig. It is basically all have left for my Masters in Fine Arts.
Learning how to make a plane go loop-de-loop is worth fewer credits than How to Steal a Pig. It is basically all have left for my Masters in Fine Arts.
tangram
+2 -0
I took "Draw That Dog" last year, and I can't recommend it enough.
I took "Draw That Dog" last year, and I can't recommend it enough.
mikeleffel2
+0 -0
LOVE this one! Now I am NASTY.
LOVE this one! Now I am NASTY.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Wild-card corn: Is it cornbread? Is it corn ice cream? Either way, you can pick one!
Life Lesson: Courses don't make you feel like less of a shit of a dude.
Wild-card corn: Is it cornbread? Is it corn ice cream? Either way, you can pick one!
Life Lesson: Courses don't make you feel like less of a shit of a dude.
aliiis
+0 -0
Wild card corn pretty much slayed me
Wild card corn pretty much slayed me
cailetshadow
+0 -0
I would really and truly pay up to 100$ for that last skill, and Beef should too. Instant boost to classiness; you know Molly would be impressed by that.
Also, note the cute little tent her tail makes under the blanket.
I would really and truly pay up to 100$ for that last skill, and Beef should too. Instant boost to classiness; you know Molly would be impressed by that.
Also, note the cute little tent her tail makes under the blanket.
xiaomimi
+17 -0
Weekend Blogs (Friday - Sunday)
-Ray-
Daaaaaaamn!
Damn.
-Roast Beef-
Since when am I the Picasso around here
Goin' to see Pat in leg rehab
-Teodor-
Here we go again...
Wow
Now for something completely stupid.
Philippe: Gandhi!
Mr. Bear: The joys of angling.
-Lyle-
SaniSluts 8
dos pochegos openin' up tomorrow
Onstad: Thanks, people.
Nice Pete: When I was small I did not get good grades
Weekend Blogs (Friday - Sunday)
-Ray-
Daaaaaaamn!
Damn.
-Roast Beef-
Since when am I the Picasso around here
Goin' to see Pat in leg rehab
-Teodor-
Here we go again...
Wow
Now for something completely stupid.
Philippe: Gandhi!
Mr. Bear: The joys of angling.
-Lyle-
SaniSluts 8
dos pochegos openin' up tomorrow
Onstad: Thanks, people.
Nice Pete: When I was small I did not get good grades
xiaomimi
+15 -0
Today's Blogs
Roast Beef: Classy Man dinner
Teodor: Sore and sunburned
Mr. Bear: Flustered.
Molly: Sleepy Symphonies
Little Nephew: jackasses!
Today's Blogs
Roast Beef: Classy Man dinner
Teodor: Sore and sunburned
Mr. Bear: Flustered.
Molly: Sleepy Symphonies
Little Nephew: jackasses!
goocifer
+3 -0
Teodor's blog today is the best blog ever, I actually drooled out what I was drinking when I read it. My favorite blogs are ones in which the other characters talk about Ray. Philippe's entry where he beats Ray at frog jumping is pretty great too.
Teodor's blog today is the best blog ever, I actually drooled out what I was drinking when I read it. My favorite blogs are ones in which the other characters talk about Ray. Philippe's entry where he beats Ray at frog jumping is pretty great too.
deusoma
+0 -0
The last time I saw Beef and Molly in bed, I thought that lump was Molly's knee. Since she's facing the other way, I guess that's just always there.
The last time I saw Beef and Molly in bed, I thought that lump was Molly's knee. Since she's facing the other way, I guess that's just always there.
foea
+0 -0
She has one of her legs pulled up.. that's her heel.
She has one of her legs pulled up.. that's her heel.
drago25
+0 -0
I really want to attend a Pizza & Poetry Party
I really want to attend a Pizza & Poetry Party
the_voice
+0 -0
God I am a shit of a dude too.
God I am a shit of a dude too.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I'm doing a masters and have taken like 5 courses on Derrida, and I'm still a shit of a dude. It doesn't help.
I'm doing a masters and have taken like 5 courses on Derrida, and I'm still a shit of a dude. It doesn't help.
sp1derbaby
+0 -0
I completed my Ph.D. last year. Now I'm an older shit of a dude.
I completed my Ph.D. last year. Now I'm an older shit of a dude.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm still wondering if, in fact, it is a boy dog.
I'm still wondering if, in fact, it is a boy dog.
clintisiceman
+2 -0
I think the best part of this strip is that eating three kinds of corn for lunch on Tuesdays is a course. That is community college in a nutshell.
I think the best part of this strip is that eating three kinds of corn for lunch on Tuesdays is a course. That is community college in a nutshell.
lordpastulio
+0 -0
Some dudes in my town tryed the 'how to steal a pig' crash course last weekend. Totally got grand larceny or something. Rad.
Some dudes in my town tryed the 'how to steal a pig' crash course last weekend. Totally got grand larceny or something. Rad.
greyfield
+0 -0
I want to take "Decapitation - The Truth". I wonder what the final would be.
I want to take "Decapitation - The Truth". I wonder what the final would be.
puguglypress
+1 -0
You can, in some cases, still have a head after being decapitated. T F
You can, in some cases, still have a head after being decapitated. T F
gtpbearsuit
+0 -0
This community college's email address is acc178@verizon.net
That means that not only do they not have their own website, but that they couldn't get "acc@verizon.net".
This community college's email address is acc178@verizon.net
That means that not only do they not have their own website, but that they couldn't get "acc@verizon.net".
xaxx
+2 -0
I'm certain that the instructor for Decapitation - The Truth is Nice Pete.
I'm certain that the instructor for Decapitation - The Truth is Nice Pete.
jfbeardsley
+0 -0
In high school chemistry class, our teacher told us that Antoine Lavoisier, a french chemist from the time of the revolution, purposed to blink as many times as possible after being guillotined, and the count came to 17.
Apparently that story is apochryphal, though; other more recent reports (veterans, accident survivors) indicate a possible window of consciousness of about 15 seconds.
YIKES
In high school chemistry class, our teacher told us that Antoine Lavoisier, a french chemist from the time of the revolution, purposed to blink as many times as possible after being guillotined, and the count came to 17.
Apparently that story is apochryphal, though; other more recent reports (veterans, accident survivors) indicate a possible window of consciousness of about 15 seconds.
YIKES
icecube
+0 -0
How to Steal a Pig
Partially obscured: "Who does this anymore" .
How to Steal a Pig
Partially obscured: "Who does this anymore" .
azairborne
+0 -0
Here, then, is what I was able to note immediately after the decapitation: the eyelids and lips of the guillotined man worked in irregularly rhythmic contractions for about five or six seconds %u2026 I waited for several seconds. The spasmodic movements ceased.
The face relaxed, the lids half closed on the eyeballs, leaving only the white of the conjunctiva visible, exactly as in the dying whom we have occasion to see every day in the exercise of our profession, or as in those just dead.
It was then that I called in a strong, sharp voice: %u2018Languille!%u2019 I saw the eyelids slowly lift up, without any spasmodic contractions %u2026 Next Languille%u2019s eyes very definitely fixed themselves on mine and the pupils focused themselves %u2026 After several seconds, the eyelids closed again, slowly and evenly, and the head took on the same appearance as it had had before I called out.
It was at that point that I called out again and, once more, without any spasm, slowly, the eyelids lifted and undeniably living eyes fixed themselves on mine with perhaps even more penetration than the first time. Then there was a further closing of the eyelids, but now less complete. I attempted the effect of a third call; there was no further movement and the eyes took on the glazed look which they have in the dead.
I have just recounted to you with rigorous exactness what I was able to observe. The whole thing had lasted twenty-five to thirty seconds.
Here, then, is what I was able to note immediately after the decapitation: the eyelids and lips of the guillotined man worked in irregularly rhythmic contractions for about five or six seconds %u2026 I waited for several seconds. The spasmodic movements ceased.
The face relaxed, the lids half closed on the eyeballs, leaving only the white of the conjunctiva visible, exactly as in the dying whom we have occasion to see every day in the exercise of our profession, or as in those just dead.
It was then that I called in a strong, sharp voice: %u2018Languille!%u2019 I saw the eyelids slowly lift up, without any spasmodic contractions %u2026 Next Languille%u2019s eyes very definitely fixed themselves on mine and the pupils focused themselves %u2026 After several seconds, the eyelids closed again, slowly and evenly, and the head took on the same appearance as it had had before I called out.
It was at that point that I called out again and, once more, without any spasm, slowly, the eyelids lifted and undeniably living eyes fixed themselves on mine with perhaps even more penetration than the first time. Then there was a further closing of the eyelids, but now less complete. I attempted the effect of a third call; there was no further movement and the eyes took on the glazed look which they have in the dead.
I have just recounted to you with rigorous exactness what I was able to observe. The whole thing had lasted twenty-five to thirty seconds.
azairborne
+0 -0
https://www.damninteresting.com/lucid-decapitation
https://www.damninteresting.com/lucid-decapitation
link
+0 -0
Delivery to the following recipients failed.
acc178@verizon.net
"Yes yes, hello. I'd like to sign up for "How to Slide a Beer Mug All the Way Down the Bar and Make it Stop at the Right Place" and "Decapitation - The Truth". I think these two classes would meld into my everyday rituals and become an important part of my life. Maybe I'll even learn how to decapitate someone and get the mug to stop exactly where their head used to be.
Actually, I have Fridays free too, sign me up for "How to Make a Plane Go in a Loop-de-Loop". I don't have a plane but why the hell not.
-Link"
Well that was disappointing, I wanted to do the mug thing.
Delivery to the following recipients failed.
acc178@verizon.net
"Yes yes, hello. I'd like to sign up for "How to Slide a Beer Mug All the Way Down the Bar and Make it Stop at the Right Place" and "Decapitation - The Truth". I think these two classes would meld into my everyday rituals and become an important part of my life. Maybe I'll even learn how to decapitate someone and get the mug to stop exactly where their head used to be.
Actually, I have Fridays free too, sign me up for "How to Make a Plane Go in a Loop-de-Loop". I don't have a plane but why the hell not.
-Link"
Well that was disappointing, I wanted to do the mug thing.
I am SO enrolling in train robbery.
I am SO chubbying you for having a Scary Go Round avatar.
*looks hopeful*
I wanted to earlier, but this just sealed the deal. Enjoy it with pride.
It's like Halloween! Put on a nice outfit, look hopeful and hold out your pillowcase, and like as not, look, chubby!
Try giving a chubby to a trick-or-treater and you'll end up legally required to put a sign up in your yard. The metaphor is pretty good though.