spanntastic
+32 -0
Chris Onstad, do you like food?
Chris Onstad, do you like food?
tekende
+0 -0
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, envika, vermy)
A comment left by tekende was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by lamboyster, envika, vermy)
envika
+3 -1
...except for the thing about how he does.
...except for the thing about how he does.
bazookaradio
+2 -0
Dangerous questions take us down dangerous paths.
Mmm Hmmm. . ..
Dangerous questions take us down dangerous paths.
Mmm Hmmm. . ..
decanter
+0 -0
A comment left by decanter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by solobuttons, J-Man, aperson)
A comment left by decanter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by solobuttons, J-Man, aperson)
chaesar
+0 -0
Yeah just mull the Port, but if you haven't eaten yet try the Chablis.
Yeah just mull the Port, but if you haven't eaten yet try the Chablis.
tekende
+12 -0
At first I read this as "the affairs of cocks," then I realized it said "cooks." Then I looked down at my Snickers bar, looked back up, and read it again as "cocks."
At first I read this as "the affairs of cocks," then I realized it said "cooks." Then I looked down at my Snickers bar, looked back up, and read it again as "cocks."
saru
+36 -0
By "Snickers bar" you mean cock, don't you?
By "Snickers bar" you mean cock, don't you?
tekende
+13 -0
I was all set to be like "what? no" and then I realized that "Snickers bar" might be the greatest euphemism for penis EVER.
I was all set to be like "what? no" and then I realized that "Snickers bar" might be the greatest euphemism for penis EVER.
jesler729
+1 -0
So, yes.
So, yes.
tekende
+1 -0
Well, no.
Well, no.
spinynorman
+13 -0
I'm more confused than before!
I'm more confused than before!
tekende
+7 -0
Truth seldom falls cleanly from the bone we call euphemism, spinynorman.
Truth seldom falls cleanly from the bone we call euphemism, spinynorman.
wittyname
+1 -0
Goddammit, I read your first comment and was like "Damn I want a Snickers bar right now." Euphemisms aside, they are delicious.
Goddammit, I read your first comment and was like "Damn I want a Snickers bar right now." Euphemisms aside, they are delicious.
stereo
+7 -0
Heh, bone.
Heh, bone.
spicyponyhead
+1 -0
Wait, I thought you called it a Snickers bar?
Wait, I thought you called it a Snickers bar?
rhadamanthus
+0 -0
Call now to receive your free sample of Enzyte!
Call now to receive your free sample of Enzyte!
wartooth
+0 -0
dare i say... FEAST!!! ;)
dare i say... FEAST!!! ;)
ham_shoes
+1 -0
There exists a game (drinking) in which the players describe their sex lives in terms of a candy bar. One would hope that theirs could be a "Marathon" and not a "Snickers".
There exists a game (drinking) in which the players describe their sex lives in terms of a candy bar. One would hope that theirs could be a "Marathon" and not a "Snickers".
shutup_shutup
+2 -0
Horny? Why wait?
Horny? Why wait?
selbencoirlo
+0 -0
When I'm playing every game is (drinking).
When I'm playing every game is (drinking).
skviiier
+0 -0
well, as long as it "really satisfies" they should be right
well, as long as it "really satisfies" they should be right
soticoto
+0 -0
Not unless you're passing kidney stones at the time.
Not unless you're passing kidney stones at the time.
squi
+1 -0
This line firther deepends my belief that Mr. Bear should sound like James Earl Jones. No other voice could deliver that effectively.
This line firther deepends my belief that Mr. Bear should sound like James Earl Jones. No other voice could deliver that effectively.
jackparsons
+2 -0
George Sanders had a great dangerous voice. Stirling Holloway could have done Phillipe or CB. GS: the tiger in The Jungle Book, SH was Ka the snake. SH was also Winnie The Pooh.
George Sanders had a great dangerous voice. Stirling Holloway could have done Phillipe or CB. GS: the tiger in The Jungle Book, SH was Ka the snake. SH was also Winnie The Pooh.
blarghamagarky
+0 -0
thank you for being as nerdy as me about voice actors
yes I know they both did regular acting
thank you for being as nerdy as me about voice actors
yes I know they both did regular acting
heccibiggs
+3 -0
Ka and Winnie the Pooh are voiced by the same person?
Everything is ruined forever.
Ka and Winnie the Pooh are voiced by the same person?
Everything is ruined forever.
soticoto
+0 -0
You're telling me that Ka and Winnie the Pooh are in fact voiced by someone who is not actually Jim Cummings?
You're right! Everything is ruined forever!
[ Subtext : Jim Cummings is the voice of every character you ever loved as a child and most of the ones you hated besides. ]
You're telling me that Ka and Winnie the Pooh are in fact voiced by someone who is not actually Jim Cummings?
You're right! Everything is ruined forever!
[ Subtext : Jim Cummings is the voice of every character you ever loved as a child and most of the ones you hated besides. ]
tekende
+0 -0
Kaa is spelled with two A's.
Kaa is spelled with two A's.
heccibiggs
+3 -0
Your mum was spelling with two As last night .
Your mum was spelling with two As last night .
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
when we were playing Scrabble during dinner.
(the winning word? "Africa")
when we were playing Scrabble during dinner.
(the winning word? "Africa")
laserblade
+6 -0
That's...not a legal Scrabble word.
That's...not a legal Scrabble word.
never_die
+0 -0
then you, my friend, have never been africa'd.
then you, my friend, have never been africa'd.
terribleman
+0 -0
In our house rule, any word you can explain the meaning of without laughing is a legal Scrabble word.
In our house rule, any word you can explain the meaning of without laughing is a legal Scrabble word.
rowboat
+0 -0
There's just something really heartwarming about the use of "mum" in the British versions of "mom" jokes. I'm not kidding. I love that.
There's just something really heartwarming about the use of "mum" in the British versions of "mom" jokes. I'm not kidding. I love that.
atticusonline
+0 -0
Mel Blanc was the voice of every character I loved as a child.
Mel Blanc was the voice of every character I loved as a child.
shutup_shutup
+0 -0
That is, unless they were voiced by Mel Blanc, Thurl Ravenscroft, or Billy West (or occasionally Chris Latta).
That is, unless they were voiced by Mel Blanc, Thurl Ravenscroft, or Billy West (or occasionally Chris Latta).
lizjones
+8 -0
But does Jesus have a limo that can pop a wheelie?
But does Jesus have a limo that can pop a wheelie?
wittyname
+3 -0
Yes.
Yes.
straw
+0 -0
Well, it's one of those Hummer limos, but I think it still counts.
Well, it's one of those Hummer limos, but I think it still counts.
gormster
+6 -0
Urgh. Jesus is not that crass.
Urgh. Jesus is not that crass.
numberkillinger
+9 -0
could Jesus create a Hummer so crass, that he himself would be too embarrased to drive it?
could Jesus create a Hummer so crass, that he himself would be too embarrased to drive it?
tekende
+0 -0
Yes, but then He would still drive it without shame.
Yes, but then He would still drive it without shame.
twotonturkey
+3 -0
Did they even have port when Jesus was around? Was Portugal even invented yet?
Did they even have port when Jesus was around? Was Portugal even invented yet?
andrew_
+6 -0
No, but Jesus knew about Portugal. He also knew that Port would make an excellent dessert wine.
Fun Fact: When asked what he regretted most about the wedding reception, Jesus lamented his choice of pairing Muscadet wine with his fish when he should've gone with his gut and sprung for the Riesling.
The more you know!
No, but Jesus knew about Portugal. He also knew that Port would make an excellent dessert wine.
Fun Fact: When asked what he regretted most about the wedding reception, Jesus lamented his choice of pairing Muscadet wine with his fish when he should've gone with his gut and sprung for the Riesling.
The more you know!
straw
+4 -0
Port's been around a little less longer than wine has been in what is now Portugal, which there's some relics of a wine industry there from the third or forth centuries BCE, well after the distillation process had been invented. However, the Portuguese wine industry of today started in the fifteenth century CE.
Portugal, along with the rest of the Iberian Peninsula, was referred to by the Romans as "Portus Cale," although Portugal recognizes the birth of its nation at the 12th century CE.
Depending on how specific you want to get, I bet you could say that port, Portugal, and Jesus all existed at the same time, although I would think it'd be difficult to get port in Bethsaida but then again he was Jesus!
Port's been around a little less longer than wine has been in what is now Portugal, which there's some relics of a wine industry there from the third or forth centuries BCE, well after the distillation process had been invented. However, the Portuguese wine industry of today started in the fifteenth century CE.
Portugal, along with the rest of the Iberian Peninsula, was referred to by the Romans as "Portus Cale," although Portugal recognizes the birth of its nation at the 12th century CE.
Depending on how specific you want to get, I bet you could say that port, Portugal, and Jesus all existed at the same time, although I would think it'd be difficult to get port in Bethsaida but then again he was Jesus!
i_love_kate
+6 -0
I'm sure importing liquor despite the weak infrastructure of the time was one of the more iconic of Jesus' miracles.
I'm sure importing liquor despite the weak infrastructure of the time was one of the more iconic of Jesus' miracles.
honesttom
+0 -0
Old skool Achewood!
Old skool Achewood!
ford
+0 -0
Welcome to achewood, where on an average day you may find an elderly bear fucking around with an innocent young otter's mind. Also, there is a rich cat.
Sidenote, just found out that the spellchecker highlights the word "Achewood," looks like we need to get it into the OED.
Welcome to achewood, where on an average day you may find an elderly bear fucking around with an innocent young otter's mind. Also, there is a rich cat.
Sidenote, just found out that the spellchecker highlights the word "Achewood," looks like we need to get it into the OED.
cailetshadow
+1 -0
So... this has always been the source of my quiet humiliation!
So... this has always been the source of my quiet humiliation!
dallovich
+0 -0
Oh, I love Philippe in that last panel! He doesn't understand what is going on, but most likely because of his past with Mr. Bear, he senses that he did something wrong.
Oh, I love Philippe in that last panel! He doesn't understand what is going on, but most likely because of his past with Mr. Bear, he senses that he did something wrong.
beansdooma
+0 -0
so very deep
so very deep
hellofyellin
+0 -0
Cornelius is so hard as to tell the difficult truth to a kid.
Cornelius is so hard as to tell the difficult truth to a kid.
bluecarrot
+1 -0
Jesus turned bread INTO fishes? Oh Philippe, you teach me something new every day!
Jesus turned bread INTO fishes? Oh Philippe, you teach me something new every day!
bertson
+0 -0
Tap water is fine.
Tap water is fine.
xiaomimi
+18 -0
Thursday Blogs
Ray: I forgot everything I knew about computers!
Thursday Blogs
Ray: I forgot everything I knew about computers!
rowboat
+0 -0
Ray could teach us a lot about the amount of time we spend here. If only we'd let him.
Ray could teach us a lot about the amount of time we spend here. If only we'd let him.
terribleman
+0 -0
"Chaos chop" is one of the achewood words I find myself using the most in day to day conversation.
"Chaos chop" is one of the achewood words I find myself using the most in day to day conversation.
pogo
+0 -0
The comments get real lean about this point.
The comments get real lean about this point.
lexsenthur
+1 -0
"I'm more confused than before."
This is me every time I asked my father a math question.
The only difference between children and adults is adults stop asking questions like this.
"I'm more confused than before."
This is me every time I asked my father a math question.
The only difference between children and adults is adults stop asking questions like this.
daidai
+0 -0
When not on dry turf, despite his water-walking, Jesus falls short of Emeril.
When not on dry turf, despite his water-walking, Jesus falls short of Emeril.
But Jesus needed ghostwriters to write his book for him, did Emeril?
Dude, Jesus is a ghost!
Not going by his biographies!
I've always believed it to be an autobiography, and a self-serving one at that.
My friend (who is Christian) always refers to the idea of Christianity as either "salvation from a dead man" or "help from a dead guy." It's pretty damn funny to hear. Granted, one of the founding cruxes of the entire faith is that he's not dead, but reducing the whole thing to such a stark statement is worth exaggeration.
I believe it completely depends on which church as to whether Jesus actually or only metaphorically rose from the grave.
Is his hand clear? If not, then he is alive, people.
Is that dexter ? Are you friends with the guy who is sinister?
What if it's not clear but you can see through it anyway?
What is your stance on translucence?
Funeral directors across the land beg to differ.
No, Emeril just needed a band and a huge audience of fawning sycophants to hang on his every showboating gesture in order to satisfy his horrible, aching need for acceptance.
Chubbied for truth.
emeril got his eyebrows to do it for him....