mashuren
+6 -1
He reminds me of that guy in that Dave Matthews Band video who went around hugging everybody.
Except what Lyle gives people are the opposite of hugs.
He reminds me of that guy in that Dave Matthews Band video who went around hugging everybody.
Except what Lyle gives people are the opposite of hugs.
mashuren
+19 -1
VISUAL AID:
[IMGS OFF]
Just replace the trucker hat with a toboggan and grow that moustache. Suave.
VISUAL AID:
[IMGS OFF]
Just replace the trucker hat with a toboggan and grow that moustache. Suave.
thedudeabides85
+43 -0
Here's another visual aid:
[IMGS OFF]
Here's another visual aid:
[IMGS OFF]
lugosh
+4 -0
Toboggan?? On one's noggin??
Toboggan?? On one's noggin??
norsef
+0 -0
Why that's hogwash you're floggin!
Why that's hogwash you're floggin!
sooprmunky61
+1 -0
That is Judah Friedlander, he opened at a comedy show i went to last year. He was not funny, but he called me a champ, therefor i have mixed feelings on him.
That is Judah Friedlander, he opened at a comedy show i went to last year. He was not funny, but he called me a champ, therefor i have mixed feelings on him.
gunsofray
+1 -0
arent the opposite of hugs .. like .. stabbings?
arent the opposite of hugs .. like .. stabbings?
profbobo
+15 -0
Alt text: Beef didn't catch the Steven/Stephen thing. Honestly, it's such a stupid vestigial thing.
Alt text: Beef didn't catch the Steven/Stephen thing. Honestly, it's such a stupid vestigial thing.
dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately
+4 -2
he also didn't catch the malcom/malcolm thing
he also didn't catch the malcom/malcolm thing
mckayle
+0 -0
It's Malcolm...so he's right?
It's Malcolm...so he's right?
dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately
+0 -0
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by blastradius, atticusonline, RedGuy, Wolfslice)
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by blastradius, atticusonline, RedGuy, Wolfslice)
prine
+1 -0
It did. And still does, up there on the Acheworld version. Almost as eerie as the Case of the Extraneous 'G' from a few weeks ago.
It did. And still does, up there on the Acheworld version. Almost as eerie as the Case of the Extraneous 'G' from a few weeks ago.
bacter
+0 -0
A comment left by bacter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, DR_MANFLESH_DESIRES_ANAL_PLAY_IMMEDIATELY, dayvancowboy, ishuta, Zefiel, riotdejaneiro, JohnThermos, KingPete, katal, wae, LordHumungus, edana, Private_Public, Andrew_, dug, prettyrad, Magb, Madoushi, tovarich, Mastronaut)
A comment left by bacter was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by straw, DR_MANFLESH_DESIRES_ANAL_PLAY_IMMEDIATELY, dayvancowboy, ishuta, Zefiel, riotdejaneiro, JohnThermos, KingPete, katal, wae, LordHumungus, edana, Private_Public, Andrew_, dug, prettyrad, Magb, Madoushi, tovarich, Mastronaut)
dreamachine
+13 -0
Asinine!
Asinine!
cathaoir
+9 -0
You had to 'shop a pair of slacks onto yourself? Why? Why would you do that?
You had to 'shop a pair of slacks onto yourself? Why? Why would you do that?
setzkin
+5 -0
Maybe, just maybe, the guy has incredibly fat legs and he is very self conscious about them. You should be more considerate.
Maybe, just maybe, the guy has incredibly fat legs and he is very self conscious about them. You should be more considerate.
tekende
+0 -0
Are you saying you want to look at bacter's junk.
Are you saying you want to look at bacter's junk.
snowman
+0 -0
did you just really want people to think you owned a pair of brown pants and loafers? only to give up your own ruse by immediately telling everyone it was a cgi-type deal? confusing!
did you just really want people to think you owned a pair of brown pants and loafers? only to give up your own ruse by immediately telling everyone it was a cgi-type deal? confusing!
lordhumungus
+6 -0
God, wouldn't it be nice to have that yellow stick protocol going on in bars across America these days?
*goes up to a girl and touches her with yellow stick*
*she smiles*
"Booyah!"
God, wouldn't it be nice to have that yellow stick protocol going on in bars across America these days?
*goes up to a girl and touches her with yellow stick*
*she smiles*
"Booyah!"
syrinx
+0 -0
A comment left by syrinx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, ishuta, Mangtastic, achilleselbow, aperson)
A comment left by syrinx was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, ishuta, Mangtastic, achilleselbow, aperson)
aperson
+8 -1
That's totally different from a yellow stick.
That's totally different from a yellow stick.
featurelessvoid
+5 -1
Yeah, poking someone with a yellow stick has hell of Freudian overtones, dogg.
Yeah, poking someone with a yellow stick has hell of Freudian overtones, dogg.
boredom_man
+1 -0
You forget that Syrinx's real first name is Oedipus.
You forget that Syrinx's real first name is Oedipus.
soticoto
+0 -0
Well, you could just go up to a girl, whip your junk out and poke her insistently with it... but I don't reckon she'd appreciate that.
Well, you could just go up to a girl, whip your junk out and poke her insistently with it... but I don't reckon she'd appreciate that.
padijun
+0 -2
the yellow stick method doesn't involve you buying her a drink, duh
the yellow stick method doesn't involve you buying her a drink, duh
trollcollins
+3 -1
Nor does it invovle awkward verbal communication!
If she does not react, or even frowns, when you touch her with the yellow stick, no awkward conversational disentanglement need be hastily improvised!
Nor does it invovle awkward verbal communication!
If she does not react, or even frowns, when you touch her with the yellow stick, no awkward conversational disentanglement need be hastily improvised!
farqussus
+0 -0
there's still the rejection. always the rejection.
there's still the rejection. always the rejection.
achilleselbow
+2 -0
No you don't.
No you don't.
You, sir, live in a different reality.
Go away from here and stop making us feel bad.
No you don't.
No you don't.
You, sir, live in a different reality.
Go away from here and stop making us feel bad.
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, Dovey, madnes, entropyends, heccibiggs, fosters, equinn2006, all-star951, cognitonaut, Hexjumper, HollyBones, Xaxx, lastlarf)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, Dovey, madnes, entropyends, heccibiggs, fosters, equinn2006, all-star951, cognitonaut, Hexjumper, HollyBones, Xaxx, lastlarf)
killerlimpet
+2 -2
I touched your mom with a yellow stick.
I touched your mom with a yellow stick.
jackparsons
+0 -0
A comment left by jackparsons was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, thehempfandango, atticusonline)
A comment left by jackparsons was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dovey, thehempfandango, atticusonline)
spinynorman
+2 -0
I think Vonnegut had the idea but with middle names. Everyone would be assigned middle names randomly, only there would be a set number - say 50 - used over and over again. Then we'd all wear name tags and you could meet a total stranger from somewhere far away and say, "Oh, hey, you're a Mackleduff? So am I! Put her there!"
I think Vonnegut had the idea but with middle names. Everyone would be assigned middle names randomly, only there would be a set number - say 50 - used over and over again. Then we'd all wear name tags and you could meet a total stranger from somewhere far away and say, "Oh, hey, you're a Mackleduff? So am I! Put her there!"
spinynorman
+0 -0
This is my birthday strip.
I would have loved to have gotten a Friend Toucher for my birthday. Imagine all the friends I would have made between now and then.
This is my birthday strip.
I would have loved to have gotten a Friend Toucher for my birthday. Imagine all the friends I would have made between now and then.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm really just wondering what it is that makes the yellow stick "perfect".
I'm really just wondering what it is that makes the yellow stick "perfect".
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
booyah achieved.
booyah achieved.
andrew_
+3 -1
The salesman's name is actually Evgeny Tursunov.
The salesman's name is actually Evgeny Tursunov.
zefiel
+2 -2
Roast Beef has a new signature. Also, I can sleep easier now that I know Assetbar isn't really really influencing Onstad's output. I mean, it isn't like there was a general outcry here to see Lyle's new glasses. Then again, something like that, you can mention it without showing the goods. *nods seriously*
Roast Beef has a new signature. Also, I can sleep easier now that I know Assetbar isn't really really influencing Onstad's output. I mean, it isn't like there was a general outcry here to see Lyle's new glasses. Then again, something like that, you can mention it without showing the goods. *nods seriously*
midget_jones
+0 -0
This is worth a five just for Philippe's expression
This is worth a five just for Philippe's expression
j-man
+7 -0
"...go [sin against your own body]."
I like that.
"...go [sin against your own body]."
I like that.
tetsujin
+3 -0
I like it too, but why the euphemisms? Why can't we just say "go eat a bunch of chocolate"?
I like it too, but why the euphemisms? Why can't we just say "go eat a bunch of chocolate"?
zedpower
+8 -0
Philippe probably asked Cornelius what it means to fuck oneself.
Philippe probably asked Cornelius what it means to fuck oneself.
johnstephens
+1 -1
Cornelius is the bad-ass games champion. He would have laid it on the line.
This probably comes from Philippe's vageuely-Catholic upbringing.
Cornelius is the bad-ass games champion. He would have laid it on the line.
This probably comes from Philippe's vageuely-Catholic upbringing.
aaron_haynes
+3 -0
Eh, not to Philippe. He has high expectations of the little dude.
Eh, not to Philippe. He has high expectations of the little dude.
johnstephens
+1 -0
from Philippe : Oh, I shouldn't talk about this. It's probably a sin. I'll ask Mr. Bear which one, he knows the Bible pretty good.
I think you're right.
from Philippe : Oh, I shouldn't talk about this. It's probably a sin. I'll ask Mr. Bear which one, he knows the Bible pretty good.
I think you're right.
rogergs
+5 -0
V sovyetskii rossii, kovyer prodavet tebya!
V sovyetskii rossii, kovyer prodavet tebya!
jimbaud
+5 -0
If Lyle looks like anyone, it's Oliver Reed. Which is highly appropriate. https://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/almaxp/remembered.jpg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Reed
If Lyle looks like anyone, it's Oliver Reed. Which is highly appropriate. https://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g68/almaxp/remembered.jpg https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Reed
chaesar
+6 -0
You can't say anything bad about a man who once threw up on Steve McQueen.
You can't say anything bad about a man who once threw up on Steve McQueen.
spinynorman
+3 -0
Or rode an airport baggage conveyor belt passed out and drunk.
Or who died after drinking two bottles of rum, beating three sailors at arm wrestling, and having a heart attack.
Goddamn I love you Oliver Reed. But you would beat the shit out of me for saying so, if you were still alive. :(
Or rode an airport baggage conveyor belt passed out and drunk.
Or who died after drinking two bottles of rum, beating three sailors at arm wrestling, and having a heart attack.
Goddamn I love you Oliver Reed. But you would beat the shit out of me for saying so, if you were still alive. :(
jackparsons
+0 -0
Oh that looks nothing like the Oliver Reed I remember. A shame.
I once saw a soft-core porn in Sun-King France where there's this old nobleman who looked like a terrible old frog. Snerk. It was Oliver Reed.
Oh that looks nothing like the Oliver Reed I remember. A shame.
I once saw a soft-core porn in Sun-King France where there's this old nobleman who looked like a terrible old frog. Snerk. It was Oliver Reed.
ctrl-s
+2 -1
"a dude of low frames" -- perfect. xoxo.
"a dude of low frames" -- perfect. xoxo.
madmaki
+2 -0
Lyle's got BCG's!!!
(Birth Control Glasses)
Lyle's got BCG's!!!
(Birth Control Glasses)
aaronfrancis
+3 -0
Back when I was in the service I rocked the shit out of some BCGs, in civvies or in uniform. Some can pull it off and some can't. Lyle definitely can.
Back when I was in the service I rocked the shit out of some BCGs, in civvies or in uniform. Some can pull it off and some can't. Lyle definitely can.
ctrl-s
+3 -0
I've also seen these referred to as RPGs (Rape Prevention Glasses).
I've also seen these referred to as RPGs (Rape Prevention Glasses).
riazm
+12 -1
Yes! Everyone who has 16 dollar no health insurance BCGs where the plastic on the bridge is getting worn away from when you push them up your nose (or in my case, free NHS low frames that are going green at the part which comes in contact with my face.) REPRESENT. We have the respect of Roast Beef Kazenzakis. We roll hard.
Yes! Everyone who has 16 dollar no health insurance BCGs where the plastic on the bridge is getting worn away from when you push them up your nose (or in my case, free NHS low frames that are going green at the part which comes in contact with my face.) REPRESENT. We have the respect of Roast Beef Kazenzakis. We roll hard.
randombeing
+0 -0
I would've given this a thousand chubbies, if only I'd been allowed.
I would've given this a thousand chubbies, if only I'd been allowed.
stiff
+0 -1
Amazing work.
Amazing work.
babachewy
+39 -1
It's [sin against your own body] Friday
It's [sin against your own body] Friday
solobuttons
+0 -0
Lyle's new look is AMAZING.
It's good to see a new Philippe Times after a while. And it's funny that it's basically all just FRIDAY FACTS now.
(Yes basically all just Friday Facts.)
Lyle's new look is AMAZING.
It's good to see a new Philippe Times after a while. And it's funny that it's basically all just FRIDAY FACTS now.
(Yes basically all just Friday Facts.)
lateadopter
+1 -1
Fact You Friday?
Fact You Friday?
zefiel
+0 -0
A comment left by zefiel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jrpigman, all-star951, wehavemagnums)
A comment left by zefiel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by jrpigman, all-star951, wehavemagnums)
carrollhach
+2 -0
Roger (from What's Happening) rolls harder than They Might Be Giants.
Roger (from What's Happening) rolls harder than They Might Be Giants.
stormypinkness
+1 -0
Only half of TMBG wears glasses anyway. And they roll pretty hard. What Linnell lacks in eye wear he makes up for in accoridan.
Only half of TMBG wears glasses anyway. And they roll pretty hard. What Linnell lacks in eye wear he makes up for in accoridan.
songbirdspectre
+0 -0
why shouldn't i put my tongue on a 9-volt? it's so FUN!
why shouldn't i put my tongue on a 9-volt? it's so FUN!
tetsujin
+0 -0
A comment left by tetsujin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ImitationCrab, stormypinkness, randombeing, MilesDonovan, Vondicus, RogerGS, Red_Dawn, bug, mike24, corbie, mira, mistlethrush, suprememongoose, bixschmix, joebot, Mastronaut)
A comment left by tetsujin was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ImitationCrab, stormypinkness, randombeing, MilesDonovan, Vondicus, RogerGS, Red_Dawn, bug, mike24, corbie, mira, mistlethrush, suprememongoose, bixschmix, joebot, Mastronaut)
geysershitdick
+0 -0
What was Ray's "16 bucks" comment in response to?
What was Ray's "16 bucks" comment in response to?
babachewy
+1 -0
16 bucks is how much Lyle's glasses cost and Ray isn't into that because he has expensive tastes.
16 bucks is how much Lyle's glasses cost and Ray isn't into that because he has expensive tastes.
neonfreon
+0 -0
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, fosters, equinn2006)
A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by madnes, fosters, equinn2006)
ctrl-s
+1 -0
Well, Lyle may not have the most refined tastes of all time, but he hates the glasses and only got them 'cause he can't afford "the good kinda glasses withi frames people can barely see" (from his blog).
Well, Lyle may not have the most refined tastes of all time, but he hates the glasses and only got them 'cause he can't afford "the good kinda glasses withi frames people can barely see" (from his blog).
snowbeat
+0 -0
Ray's angry that Lyle didn't ask him for money for new glasses and instead bought some tacky frames with plexiglass in 'em. Ray covers for all of his friends, even ones who are too drunk to care.
Ray's angry that Lyle didn't ask him for money for new glasses and instead bought some tacky frames with plexiglass in 'em. Ray covers for all of his friends, even ones who are too drunk to care.
boredom_man
+1 -0
Ray. Drives. An. Escalade.
Ray. Drives. An. Escalade.
ctrl-s
+0 -0
Lyle's blog:
"Man so fn in time for this fn wedding of beefs ai i hadda go and get some glases s and inm' gonna look like a ffuckling fjagfgffgt50987q2345
bettert not wear em"
I'm sure a vision-impaired, shitfaced drunk Lyle will be an entertaining wedding guest.
Lyle's blog:
"Man so fn in time for this fn wedding of beefs ai i hadda go and get some glases s and inm' gonna look like a ffuckling fjagfgffgt50987q2345
bettert not wear em"
I'm sure a vision-impaired, shitfaced drunk Lyle will be an entertaining wedding guest.
neonfreon
+1 -1
I hate you for being right.
I hate you for being right.
havenless
+1 -0
I on the other hand, love you for being right
I on the other hand, love you for being right
neonfreon
+1 -1
i hate you for loving her for being right
i hate you for loving her for being right
neonfreon
+0 -1
j/k ilaug (decode that, internets)
j/k ilaug (decode that, internets)
dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately
+0 -0
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, equinn2006, Wolfslice)
A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, equinn2006, Wolfslice)
ashoykh
+0 -0
The liquor bottle looks like a middle finger.
The liquor bottle looks like a middle finger.
barrybass
+0 -0
i tried out the scientific test , and it did not work. nope.
i tried out the scientific test , and it did not work. nope.
gitdown
+1 -1
dude should be stoked - looks just like terry richardson
https://www.ursusbooks.com/thumbnail.php?img=./itemimages/115112a.jpg&maxwidth=700
dude terry's so dirty google image search turns up nude pix even when safe search is to the max. SICK SPEX KYLE!!!1
https://images.google.com/images?q=terry richardson&client=safari&rls=en&um=1&sa=X&oi=images&ct=title
dude should be stoked - looks just like terry richardson
https://www.ursusbooks.com/thumbnail.php?img=./itemimages/115112a.jpg&maxwidth=700
dude terry's so dirty google image search turns up nude pix even when safe search is to the max. SICK SPEX KYLE!!!1
https://images.google.com/images?q=terry richardson&client=safari&rls=en&um=1&sa=X&oi=images&ct=title
delphs
+0 -0
I joined just to inform you that every time I think about the phrase 'soviet carpet salesman' I can't help but laugh.
I joined just to inform you that every time I think about the phrase 'soviet carpet salesman' I can't help but laugh.
robobogle
+2 -0
He was just arrested again I guess.
[IMGS OFF]
He was just arrested again I guess.
[IMGS OFF]
i_love_kate
+3 -0
It is hard to imagine that dude not looking at someone's granddaughter.
It is hard to imagine that dude not looking at someone's granddaughter.
newspaperdrone
+0 -0
'Well hello there little girl. Would you like a lollipop? You do? Well all you have to do is fish it out of my asshole. Mmmmm.' Insert wheezing sighs, childhood trauma.
'Well hello there little girl. Would you like a lollipop? You do? Well all you have to do is fish it out of my asshole. Mmmmm.' Insert wheezing sighs, childhood trauma.
tttt2
+0 -0
at what point did Philippe start in with the religious references?
at what point did Philippe start in with the religious references?
imitationcrab
+0 -0
My only request is that Lyle gets those side shields that go along with these glasses--like the guys who work in steel mills or machine shops. Oh god that would be so grand. I'll try to find a picture of that.
My only request is that Lyle gets those side shields that go along with these glasses--like the guys who work in steel mills or machine shops. Oh god that would be so grand. I'll try to find a picture of that.
imitationcrab
+4 -0
[IMGS OFF]
"Gott eh fn sidke shiled s fofr my fn glasseses. Damnhj shit akeppe fallin in my fnh eyhes. GHAAAAAAAAAAA why is shit all ways fallijn in ma eyexa I just can;t tajekk i any more!!!!!!"
[IMGS OFF]
"Gott eh fn sidke shiled s fofr my fn glasseses. Damnhj shit akeppe fallin in my fnh eyhes. GHAAAAAAAAAAA why is shit all ways fallijn in ma eyexa I just can;t tajekk i any more!!!!!!"
orvel
+0 -0
What did RB mean by "gink" in his note? Urban Dictionary offers too many possible definitions .
What did RB mean by "gink" in his note? Urban Dictionary offers too many possible definitions .
possums
+0 -0
Philippe's stick idea is pretty rapetastic.
Philippe's stick idea is pretty rapetastic.
thaes
+0 -0
Philippe sneezing, calling Hawking "famous sick person", and [sin against their own bodies] gave this strip a five.
Philippe sneezing, calling Hawking "famous sick person", and [sin against their own bodies] gave this strip a five.
galbraith
+0 -0
Chris Onstad loves the word "vestigial"
Chris Onstad loves the word "vestigial"
lolsworth
+0 -0
I like the little Beef icon. I wish I could sum up my own face, personality and life with so few lines.
I like the little Beef icon. I wish I could sum up my own face, personality and life with so few lines.
fatcat
+0 -0
5`d for "war over terror." Made me laugh so hard.
Also; "friend touchers."
5`d for "war over terror." Made me laugh so hard.
Also; "friend touchers."
dusty
+0 -0
Apparently none of my facebook friends remember who Peter Frampton is, cause when I posted that I'd been like 15 feet from the stage at summer fest and one of my friends caught his guitar pick at the end of the show it got no replies. For reference when I put up a picture of my cat sticking its claws under a door frame it got 12, despite being a thing which happens almost tri-daily.
Apparently none of my facebook friends remember who Peter Frampton is, cause when I posted that I'd been like 15 feet from the stage at summer fest and one of my friends caught his guitar pick at the end of the show it got no replies. For reference when I put up a picture of my cat sticking its claws under a door frame it got 12, despite being a thing which happens almost tri-daily.
mburr
+0 -0
NIce Dr. Megele ref
NIce Dr. Megele ref
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