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Only one way out... Tuesday, May 21, 2002 • read strip Viewing 50 comments:

Has it ever been done? My research is not conclusive

The Byzantines did it, they did it twice.


With molten gold... or silver or maybe lead. Various cultures have murdered people by this method though. It is painful and miserable, but final and not too long.

This makes me think of RR Martin's book Game of Thrones. (SPOILER ALERT) The death of Viserys. Not a drop of blood touched the ground.

Wow, that would be a TERRIBLE way to go. Philippe has got some darkness, for sure.

But he says it with such innocent enthusiasm .

Not to mention how happy he is in the last panel. Little guy is just esctatic about figuring out how to kill himself

Those Byzantines don't fucking fool around.

actually the word byzantine has become nearly synonymous with "fucking fooling around" although i've got some cavalry that do trample damage that would disagree

Cataphract spam is the bane of a fun AoE:2 Conqueror's match.

that's certainly pretty far down on my list of way to do me in. fuck that. seriously.

but..... gravy! I could die happy by gravy.

He could just get lyle to tell him to fuck off.

I think that Lyle and Teodor could work together to create a cuss so powerful that it would kill. Maybe not much of a suicide option, but maybe he could shout it at himself in the mirror.

Or write it out, sort of a death by a thousand tiny cusses.

I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE.

I like his excitement at having solved this issue, and running off to put it into action.

In this strip, Philippe is on his way to commit suicide. .

Philippe and my uncle had the same ideas.

Philippe believes that too-hot things are the path to suicide.

It worked for the Terminator

What if some gets on the mayor?

Not the mayor!

Alt text: "spokesman of the disappointed"

This is a lyric from XTC's "The Disappointed", on Nonsuch :
Once, I had no sympathy
For those destroyed and thrown away by love
Seems your ring upon my finger
Signifies that I've become the spokesman of
The disappointed

Chubby for referencing XTC.

This one could be a newspaper comic if it wasnt about suicide and boiling eyeballs

eat a big meal and go swimming immediately afterward.

DARK

creative, if ineffective

This strip is way too twisted for anything but a 5.

Seconded.

If this is twisted then you clearly haven't spent enough time on the Internet. This is incredibly tame. I would have no issue with informing an actual 5 year-old that if they wished to kill themselves pouring boiling hot gravy in their eyes would be an ideal method.

I suspect they might get a bit tense around Thanksgiving and pot roasts, but not much more than that.

Watching little Timmy as he eyes the gravy boat, a funnel clutched in his sweaty but determined hand.

I would have chosen a too-hot rich cheese sauce myself. All with marscapone and also mostly cheddar. Pepper would give it bite and I could go to the baby Jesus in smiles.

could he maybe hang himself with string cheese?

Not hot enough

Philippe is definitely running around topless in the strip, wearing nothing but wide-leg jeans and his . . . clunky shoes. Philippe: fashion mogul.

That's what he's worn since the very first comic, coco.

Reminds me of this .

Here lies a special boy.

Here lies a special... here lies a very special...

Just the other day on Drudge and/or CNN I saw a story about someone dying after eating a bunch of hot peppers on a dare. So it probably would have killed the shit out of a stuffed otter.

I never knew committing suicide is exciting...

Depending on how you go about it, it could be pretty exciting for everyone. My personal favorite is to find a reasonably tall building (say 15 stories), get 135ft of strong rope, 120ft of piano wire, and a lot of superglue. Attach rope to feet, piano wire around your neck, and superglue your hands upside down to the side of your head. Jump. If everything works, you will be decapitated, holding your head at about eye level.

This is probably not a good post to introduce oneself, but whatever.

You really thought that one through...

and if it doesn't work you'll just be hanging upside down with your ears full of glue wondering how you're going to pay off those Home Depot and Trevor's Piano Emporium charges on your credit card.

What a way to go. Nothing like giving passers-by the screaming heebie-jeebies. Front page of the news for sure.

I was actually going to post an alternate version of this, where you just basically hang yourself in your house with some super-sharp cheesewire. 'Tis a classic to make it look like you ripped your own head off.

Hello, my name is Sally, and our special tonight is an otter covered in gravy. His name was Phillip, he was Five.