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Philippe's Baseball Card Friday, July 13, 2007 • read strip Viewing 121 comments:

A comment left by philosophe was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by decanter, RedGuy, rjc_90)

bilious

what?

A comment left by socks was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DaPooka, whermylasers, Thorfinn, equinn2006, farqussus, shoinan, Xaxx, yingkaixing, nilehus, Pigs, aperson)

A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, entropyends, ppccd, jlynes, smog, Thorfinn, jfenserty, gothfae, equinn2006, achewife, megaskip, carterst, czarcastic, Pigs, aperson)

A comment left by jujubeesforjesus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, entropyends, ppccd, smog, Thorfinn, gothfae, equinn2006, Semiquaver, Crater12, megaskip, Doc_Rostov, yaegmenthor, Pigs, aperson)

:C you're right. i have not seen the sun in so. long.

fucking JOB.

don't blame Job for your problems, he has enough of his own

I've made a huge mistake.

No that's Gob.

Chubby, though.

nice maravich picture!

A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by NeoNaoNeo, Kavingi, Doc_Rostov)

thx, glad.

Mmmmmmmmdick.

On the other hand, that Calvin and Hobbes fan-fic was absolutely repulsive.

A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by apocowarg, Overmedicated, equinn2006, Sargasm, Wolfslice)

Wait, when was that posted?

I have a masochistic streak.

OH MY GOD

OH LORD I FOUND IT

CHRIST THAT WAS TERRIBLE

WHY

A comment left by neonfreon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by equinn2006, Zem, Wolfslice, Mastronaut)

Dr Manflesh, what is the saddest thing?
.....
Noooooooo!!!!

all of these posts were spammed to death. I request an option to view spam-marked posts.

I reckon they probably just get deleted, and all that's left is the record of who posted them and when. I'd like to see spam-marked posts as well (the curiosity is too much!) but it doesn't make any sense that the server would keep them and have them take up memory and bandwidth if they were just assumed to be rubbish.

Actually, Hecci, as your unofficial Acheworld shepherd, I feel like it's my responsibility to let you know that you can, indeed, see these very special comments. When you see the message that says "This comment has been marked as spam," or whatever, just click on the word "comment" and you'll be taken to a page which features only the comment in question.

Voila!

Having said that, I should warn you that very few of them are as interesting as you'd hope. Most of them were spammed just for being blank. However, you will be able to see all of Retardo's posts, which, contrary to what some of the more humorless types around here would have you believe, are usually quite a treat.

Thanks! Man, you're useful to have around.

Live to serve.

I am interested in your comments and politely request a newsletter.

.. you... you made me almost puke ..

A comment left by socks was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by DaPooka, Thorfinn, ZeroAsALimit, GMM, equinn2006, atticusonline, Xaxx, yingkaixing, aperson)

???

I don't know if that is a word, but it should be.

Gesundheit.

OH YEAH I TOTALLY DID.

A comment left by socks was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, silver_lake, mcowgill, equinn2006, Sargasm, atticusonline, HolyQ, Axhoola, mystkmanat, nutmeg, yingkaixing, aperson)

A comment left by persnicket was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by RogerGS, Jujubeesforjesus, aperson)

I just 5'ed the shit out of this one.

I clicked 5 after reading his desired occupation when he grows up

I am going to scroll back up now to finish the comic

Just curious... Where do you see the rating?

You don't...anymore. Back in the day, you could vote on a strip (1-5) and see the average rating, as well. The ability to see the average rating went away first, and, apparently, the ability to rate at all has gone away sometime recently.

I hadn't even noticed.

A comment left by persnicket was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by RogerGS, Flaaron, aperson)

A comment left by persnicket was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by RogerGS, Flaaron, aperson)

A comment left by happycakeoven was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by TombsGrave, Flaaron, yaegmenthor)

i stole your avatar!

I wonder how many of your lames are due to double-negative de-un-confusion.

i think since teodor was doing this pro bono, his heart wasn't as in to it.
Also, who can make fun of a little kid? WHO

A comment left by gothfae was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ppccd, Jar, Fcannon)

This is definitely not pro bono. His payment was that Philippe does not cry at him, which is worth much money. Philippe is the Littlest Extortionist.

I'm hoping to see these cards be a purchasable reality. (Hint hint hint).

Is Teodor infringing on Showbiz's intellectual property with these many-sided baseball cards?

As a big Philippe fan, I love this one. All firefighters secretly long to be locked in an ice cream factory overnight.


I was kinda hoping for a Judas Priest Friday the 13th though.

Good call. I forgot about that.

A comment left by killerlimpet was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by joeyramoney, Carpetbag, Marcus_Brody)

I thought it was funny

Screamers: serious business.

Edvard Munch made a lot of money off of them

Ice-cream is sweet and delicious and cannot catch fire, ever. Firefighters appreciate that. I was going to give this a 3 and then I saw Philippe's trembling lip.

At last there someone who also shares my pet peeve of injuries

I love the happy surprised Ray icon

Technically that's the 'Happy Ray having a single drop of pee' icon. Not so much surprise is involved.

i think philippe is straight playing teodor with that little sniffle. dude's running a con. we all know how philippe really cries. his heart just isn't in it up there. he's just milking it.

but that actually sounds like a really delicious last meal.

I personally have a secret stash of dogs-jumping-into-swimming-pools videos. The money shot is when they catch a tennis ball in mid-air.

I love how he treats Teodor like he's a reputable shopkeep. Aren't we all Hugs Men at heart?

Indeed, but there's no hug like a Breast Hug.

How sad that Roast Beef is the first person that Philippe thinks of when the question is "orc or dork?"

It is the saddest thing.

Oh, shit. I went there. Now I can never go back. I spammed with the saddest thing line. I'm tainted.

Tell my mother I love her.

Wherein Phillipe wears a baseball cap.

Rap music my droooooogs!

Philippe is honest about his gas, and leaves no one out in his apology.
I suddenly really want a Margaret Keane-style painting of Crying Philippe in Backwards Baseball Cap hanging on my wall.

SO RAD.

I am all about Philippe, but cookie crisp and maraschino cherries? That sounds like some vile shit.

Not when you're five.

i admit the chocolate milk idea is intriguing, but the cherries on top of that must make it taste terrible.

but then again, at least they're not carob-covered prunes.

A comment left by persnicket was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by stormypinkness, twohundredninety, molesticide, aperson)

I'm not sure what a snack bog is but I think I agree.

I love flapping my snack bog though...

Dude, I really felt bad for Roast Beef, all being identified as the go-to dork. Nevertheless, I apologize for posting an honest comment in a comment list.

If you like, there is a version of the strip that does not show any comments other than Onstad's. It's at https://www.Achewood.com/ .

Teodor's expression in the third panel is priceless.

I, too, am annoyed by injury.

To be honest, I can't think of a single reason why Computer Fro-grammers inc failed.

Riddle-Max, Giggle-Max, Cuddle-Max, Tickle-Max. Wow, Philippe shows an active understanding of horizontal integration. He really cornered the market from all angles. Kid's got a bright future.

is it just me, or do all those companies bring back terrifying memories of titty-maxx, the lotto ticket for women?

shit it's tity-buxx, so no, no comparisons at all

VALU-DOUCHE

Ray thought so too, to the tune of twenty-five G in low-no interest loans and 35% of net earnings after five years.

Fro-grammer? Just doesn't sound like the Philippe I know. I suspect someone put him up to that one.

probably lie bot.

PET PEEVE: INJURIES

awesome

A comment left by plezure was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by JohnnyLandmine, ozacrot, autrepoupee, Flaaron, MR_Wilson, mystkmanat)

Teodor Decision-Making Flowchart Supplemental

No more baseball cards! -> IF emotionAppeal(Philippe) step=step-- setLogic(false)

ELSE emotionAppeal(Pat) return(FUCK YOU)

ELSE return(0)

Panel 3 almost made me cry.

WHY IS THIS STRIP ONLY A 3.9?!
HUGS MAN: Y
Come ON, people!

my pet peeve is also injuries. HATE those dang things.

Yes!-->Hello!

Hello!<---Yes!

I cross my legs. Does this make me a dork?

I think it makes you a good listener

A good listening dork.

listen, dork, don't ask any more questions.

Has anyone else noticed that all of the photos for these trading cards have various fast-food restaurants?

Something is afoot and I'm not entirely sure what.

...also, what kind of baseball card has 3 pages?

Ray and Lyle both had five. My theory: the cards are the kind you can flip over and each time it is a different page. Go Go Mexican magical realism!

teodor just hell of lied to phillipe.

making those cards doesn't take a lot of time, we have already established that all graphic design projects take about an hour.

Téodor is surely a very busy graphic designer and the hour spent on a baseball card represents lost wages for him. It was very kind of him to make an exception for Philippe.

A comment left by cheeks_jd was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Dezufnocosem, equinn2006, illgamesh, Hexjumper, aperson)

A comment left by silver_lake was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by ishuta, Jewpacabra, Jujubeesforjesus)

A comment left by dr_manflesh_desires_anal_play_immediately was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by featurelessvoid, smog, Cypher, Moraiat, equinn2006, onion_lightly, woodenteeth, MR_Wilson, aperson)

I imagine Onstad does not actually want that many people swinging from his nuts. Even one sounds too painful for me, but he could be into that sort of thing. All we can reasonably do here is interact with each other about Achewood.

I've given Dr. Manflesh etc. a few chubbies along the way, even though I don't think this is a good place to re-post bad slash fan fiction. I've gotten dozens of lames, particularly for being uber-dork-forum-nazi back in the beginning. I think we could all stand to raise the level of discourse without sacrificing our ability to enjoy this resource.

You're a poet, and you didn't even realize it.

I noticed the "discourse-resource" rhyme, but I didn't like the synonyms I could think of for either word. Anyway, the meter is off.

Hear hear.

hilarious. just because it's a simple concept doesn't make it untrue.

keep up the good job.

I dunno if teodor always wears a turtleneck with those pants in the first frame, but that is not the mystery.
How could Lyle have let that fly for so long?!

Ev'ryone knowz dat da orkz ar WAAAY betta dan a dork, 'cause dorks got no dakka!

Oh god I'm such a nerd

The origin of Riddle-Max.

successful business: potty pals.

That's a pretty awesome last meal. I just bought like 4 boxes of Cookie Crisp, on sale, which is a treat because I can usually only afford store brand bullshit like "Cocoa Crisp Rice" and "Fruit Circles".

I'm not sure if you guys know this, but Philippe is five.

Today's Blogs

Onstad: Bacon No. 5: Hempler's Peppered Bacon

At what point do you become an ass man?

The moment your paddling behind four Brazillian bodyboarders who all stick they asses in the air in order to duck dive the next wave.

The phenomenon quickly wears off.

"right handed mess-maker!?!?" OH GOD! I CANT BELIEVE THAT WAS THE FIRST THING THAT POPPED INTO MY MIND!!! STUPID HORMONES!!!

Ray was in front of a McDonalds,
Lyle was in front of a Burger King,
and Philippe is in front of a Jack In The Box.