beansdooma
+7 -0
That empty word balloon there is a work of art, I tells ya.
That empty word balloon there is a work of art, I tells ya.
dangelder
+5 -1
apocowarg
+1 -0
beansdooma
+0 -0
sje46
+0 -0
What is that and why does it scare me so?
What is that and why does it scare me so?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
It's Eggman, and YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE AFRAID, MORTAL
heehee, you can even see Sonic's reflection in his eyes.
It's Eggman, and YOU HAVE EVERY REASON TO BE AFRAID, MORTAL
heehee, you can even see Sonic's reflection in his eyes.
sje46
+0 -0
I thought Paul was the eggman.
No, he was the Walrus.
I thought Paul was the eggman.
No, he was the Walrus.
i_love_kate
+2 -0
It's Dr. Robotnik, WHORE.
It's Dr. Robotnik, WHORE.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I was going to ask if you live in a Beatles-enclosed bubble, but then I realized it may be just that I'm old. Aren't they still making Sonic games though?
I was going to ask if you live in a Beatles-enclosed bubble, but then I realized it may be just that I'm old. Aren't they still making Sonic games though?
sje46
+0 -0
Yeah, and I have one.
Don't buy it.
Yeah, and I have one.
Don't buy it.
utv
+12 -0
Notice how all the women in Achewood look like their respective boyfriends in female form?
Notice how all the women in Achewood look like their respective boyfriends in female form?
riazm
+1 -0
Now I do.
Someone make some comment about Rod Huggins and Pat. I can't be bothered.
Also someone mention why we call Rod Huggins Rod Huggins but we only call Pat Pat when we could call him Patrick Reynolds.
Now I do.
Someone make some comment about Rod Huggins and Pat. I can't be bothered.
Also someone mention why we call Rod Huggins Rod Huggins but we only call Pat Pat when we could call him Patrick Reynolds.
telescreen
+6 -0
A porn name should never be wasted, that's why.
A porn name should never be wasted, that's why.
waddlerz
+0 -0
Just remember that your first name is your first pet's name, and your last name is the street you live on. Capiche?
Just remember that your first name is your first pet's name, and your last name is the street you live on. Capiche?
sje46
+0 -0
Tabby Broadway?
(or, by the street I grew up on as a child)
Tabby Jennifer?
Tabby Broadway?
(or, by the street I grew up on as a child)
Tabby Jennifer?
octafish
+0 -0
Percy Sampson, catfish?
Percy Sampson, catfish?
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
We already have a strip set aside for divulging your porn name .
We already have a strip set aside for divulging your porn name .
waddlerz
+0 -0
I know, but it is necessary sometimes to relive a classic chapter in assetbar history.
I know, but it is necessary sometimes to relive a classic chapter in assetbar history.
fuzzyshoo
+0 -0
Duke Ashcroft.
I love that name.
Duke Ashcroft.
I love that name.
tragicone
+0 -0
my name is less a name and more of a series.
Babe Embassy
my name is less a name and more of a series.
Babe Embassy
kamet
+0 -0
Vicky Foxfire
Awwww yeah.
Vicky Foxfire
Awwww yeah.
kickstart
+0 -0
Have you read the book Foxfire? it is pretty sweet from what I recall of reading it in high school.
Have you read the book Foxfire? it is pretty sweet from what I recall of reading it in high school.
howl
+0 -0
N/A 25th. Yeah.
N/A 25th. Yeah.
clever-nickname
+0 -0
Abby Dahlia.
or Tobi Dahlia.
Abby Dahlia.
or Tobi Dahlia.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Junior Ortona.
Junior Ortona.
chuvak
+1 -0
TULLY 19TH
TULLY 19TH
laserblade
+0 -0
Kind of a sci-fi theme there.
Kind of a sci-fi theme there.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Do you wear a knee brace, by any chance?
Do you wear a knee brace, by any chance?
absurdist
+1 -1
Shenanigans Grand
Shenanigans Grand
sje46
+0 -0
What kind of animal is that?
What kind of animal is that?
awko
+0 -0
One with mozerella sticks and goofy shit on the walls.
One with mozerella sticks and goofy shit on the walls.
sje46
+0 -0
Do you know how fast you were going, meow?
Do you know how fast you were going, meow?
kamet
+0 -0
CHICKENFUCKER!
CHICKENFUCKER!
waddlerz
+0 -0
Shenanigans!
Shenanigans!
slab64
+0 -0
Good enough TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER
Good enough TO FUCK YOUR MOTHER
zoom
+0 -0
Princess Spring.
DAMNIT.
Princess Spring.
DAMNIT.
bumpishound
+0 -0
Missy Paradise.
I am afraid my destiny is to be Teodor's stand in for Soft Boys XXIX: Return to the Plush Sofa.
Missy Paradise.
I am afraid my destiny is to be Teodor's stand in for Soft Boys XXIX: Return to the Plush Sofa.
catgrl131
+0 -0
Goldie Birch
Now we're talkin'!
Goldie Birch
Now we're talkin'!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I never had a pet growing up and our streets were numbered. I do not like this game.
I never had a pet growing up and our streets were numbered. I do not like this game.
sje46
+0 -0
Hpow can you not have a pet? Were are you from, China?
(Chinese people don't have pets. I know this because I asked a bunch of them.)
Hpow can you not have a pet? Were are you from, China?
(Chinese people don't have pets. I know this because I asked a bunch of them.)
tekende
+0 -0
I get it, because they eat dogs, yeah!
I get it, because they eat dogs, yeah!
sje46
+0 -0
No, because they don't have pets.
Stereotypes make me sad.
:(
No, because they don't have pets.
Stereotypes make me sad.
:(
thegoodwillgirl
+0 -0
So I was watching the news right around the time that the olympics was starting, and there were two stories back to back that were attempting to use the olympics as a segue, but failed miserably because :
1) the first story was a reporter walking through the outdoor food service areas at the olympics, talking about how, although dog meat was on the menus, everyone had been banned from selling it for the entirety of the olympic ceremonies. (This story included pictures of menus that legitimately had items featuring dog meat.)
and then
2.) Back to the studio ancherman who says, "Speaking of the olymplics, the worlds largest toy store is holding there very own dog olympics right there in Beijing!" Video of little kids chasing their dogs around, dogs performing tricks, people loving their pet dogs. But no mention of eating them at all.
It all seemed very wrong to me.
So I was watching the news right around the time that the olympics was starting, and there were two stories back to back that were attempting to use the olympics as a segue, but failed miserably because :
1) the first story was a reporter walking through the outdoor food service areas at the olympics, talking about how, although dog meat was on the menus, everyone had been banned from selling it for the entirety of the olympic ceremonies. (This story included pictures of menus that legitimately had items featuring dog meat.)
and then
2.) Back to the studio ancherman who says, "Speaking of the olymplics, the worlds largest toy store is holding there very own dog olympics right there in Beijing!" Video of little kids chasing their dogs around, dogs performing tricks, people loving their pet dogs. But no mention of eating them at all.
It all seemed very wrong to me.
sje46
+0 -0
Oh, Media!
Oh, Media!
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Close, actually, it was the Soviet Union. Good Workers have no time for such decadent Bourgeois diversions as pets.
Close, actually, it was the Soviet Union. Good Workers have no time for such decadent Bourgeois diversions as pets.
senister
+0 -0
Fluffy Densmore
Awesome.
On a side note: I was greeted by the arrival of The GOF hardcover on my doorstep this morning while I headed out for work. Now that I'm officially on the premises I intend to do nothing until I have read this gem in its entirety, examined all background pictures for hidden meanings and clever nods to previous archs, and then prop it up in my office so that I can admire it for a good length of time.
And then repeat.
Networks be damned.
Fluffy Densmore
Awesome.
On a side note: I was greeted by the arrival of The GOF hardcover on my doorstep this morning while I headed out for work. Now that I'm officially on the premises I intend to do nothing until I have read this gem in its entirety, examined all background pictures for hidden meanings and clever nods to previous archs, and then prop it up in my office so that I can admire it for a good length of time.
And then repeat.
Networks be damned.
laserblade
+0 -0
That's more of a catcher name. You'd probably be on the sofa next to Rod.
That's more of a catcher name. You'd probably be on the sofa next to Rod.
rene
+0 -0
Bagheera Whiplash.
Bagheera Whiplash.
autrepoupee
+1 -0
I'm doin' it with a lady me, just like Eddie Van Halen!
I'm doin' it with a lady me, just like Eddie Van Halen!
autrepoupee
+1 -0
In case anyone doesn't get this, Valerie Bertinelli looked exactly like Eddie Van Halen.
So, rocking the shecan of the sheyou, is doing it Eddie Van Halen style.
In case anyone doesn't get this, Valerie Bertinelli looked exactly like Eddie Van Halen.
So, rocking the shecan of the sheyou, is doing it Eddie Van Halen style.
octafish
+0 -0
I got it bad, soooooo bad, I'm hot fur teacher.
I can sort of still see it around the nose, but looking at this pic of Eddie makes me feel old and saps my strength.
I got it bad, soooooo bad, I'm hot fur teacher.
I can sort of still see it around the nose, but looking at this pic of Eddie makes me feel old and saps my strength.
farqussus
+2 -0
Which one's Eddie? Are they both Eddie?
Which one's Eddie? Are they both Eddie?
cpnglxynchos
+1 -0
yes but in a way that's hard to care about.
yes but in a way that's hard to care about.
ricnine
+0 -0
Holy shit, how have I not noticed that. Now I'm probably doomed to end up with a girlfriend who looks like me.
Holy shit, how have I not noticed that. Now I'm probably doomed to end up with a girlfriend who looks like me.
higuma
+32 -0
Not necessarily. My wife doesn't look anything like me. Of course I married a Chinese girl.
Not necessarily. My wife doesn't look anything like me. Of course I married a Chinese girl.
skiddysmith
+1 -0
the little one is just precious... are you the step daddy? because, otherwise...
the little one is just precious... are you the step daddy? because, otherwise...
higuma
+3 -0
No, he's mine. You can't tell from the picture but his bottom half is brown. His sister has a brown head and a black and white ass. *shrug*
No, he's mine. You can't tell from the picture but his bottom half is brown. His sister has a brown head and a black and white ass. *shrug*
telescreen
+3 -0
Your children are America.
Your children are America.
achilleselbow
+8 -0
Are...are they mixed race?
Are...are they mixed race?
theguitarhero
+1 -0
higuma...
higuma I'm a prostitute.
That was the first Achewood I ever read.
higuma...
higuma I'm a prostitute.
That was the first Achewood I ever read.
whiteturtle
+1 -0
Jesus god, wow, and you are still here, I must say you have taste, friend.
Jesus god, wow, and you are still here, I must say you have taste, friend.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
haha yes, I wanted to figure out why the chicken prostitute called the cat Roast Beef, and what the Achewood machine was and why it broke.
haha yes, I wanted to figure out why the chicken prostitute called the cat Roast Beef, and what the Achewood machine was and why it broke.
westacular
+1 -0
Were you disappointed to discover that only real answer for any of your questions was "because it's his name"?
Were you disappointed to discover that only real answer for any of your questions was "because it's his name"?
theguitarhero
+0 -0
I'm still here...so yes.
I'm still here...so yes.
sje46
+3 -0
Just don't sneeze and scare the baby.
I hope I didn't do it backwards again.
Just don't sneeze and scare the baby.
I hope I didn't do it backwards again.
higuma
+0 -0
that is extremely excellent
that is extremely excellent
redemption_song
+0 -0
There aren't really enough women in achewood to make that statement, are there? I don't think you can count ultrapeanut, 'cause she and Phillipe are just abstract geometric shapes, kind of like Todd is kind of abstract.
There aren't really enough women in achewood to make that statement, are there? I don't think you can count ultrapeanut, 'cause she and Phillipe are just abstract geometric shapes, kind of like Todd is kind of abstract.
droplede
+3 -0
Actually, I'm thinking Tina looks a lot more like Ray's MOM. Mr. Freudy Cat.
Actually, I'm thinking Tina looks a lot more like Ray's MOM. Mr. Freudy Cat.
quaga
+0 -0
A comment left by quaga was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by EM2, chivalress, howl, Cane_5, Download-This, Boyd)
A comment left by quaga was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by EM2, chivalress, howl, Cane_5, Download-This, Boyd)
cromar
+0 -0
Quaga, you can do anything you want to my body for $50. Now put down the baseball bat.
Quaga, you can do anything you want to my body for $50. Now put down the baseball bat.
ctrl_z
+0 -0
Like some Disney cartoon.
Like some Disney cartoon.
sje46
+10 -0
Van Houten syndrome
Van Houten syndrome
chrissketch
+1 -0
I call that phenomenon the Questionable Content school of fictional comic coupling.
I call that phenomenon the Questionable Content school of fictional comic coupling.
farqussus
+1 -0
Dissing QC is last week's meme.
Dissing QC is last week's meme.
bray
+1 -0
Dissing QC is every week's meme.
Dissing QC is every week's meme.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
"Notice how all the women in Achewood look like their respective boyfriends in female form?"
No disrespect to Onstad, but I don't know if his artistic prowess extends to detailed expression/features. He does have subtle moments of awesome, of course.
"Notice how all the women in Achewood look like their respective boyfriends in female form?"
No disrespect to Onstad, but I don't know if his artistic prowess extends to detailed expression/features. He does have subtle moments of awesome, of course.
sje46
+0 -0
All American Curls look the same anyway.
All American Curls look the same anyway.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Most people are along for the ride with technology.
Ray is a driver. Technology does his bidding.
Most people are along for the ride with technology.
Ray is a driver. Technology does his bidding.
bumpishound
+1 -0
Ray better ask for a prenup
Ray better ask for a prenup
bumpishound
+8 -0
The lady cat's MBA qualified her for operating a sex phone.
The lady cat's MBA qualified her for operating a sex phone.
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
Well, it was just from a local college. If she'd gone to Harvard, she'd be the Regional Vice President of Erotic Communications Strategy by now.
Well, it was just from a local college. If she'd gone to Harvard, she'd be the Regional Vice President of Erotic Communications Strategy by now.
silentdante
+3 -0
Is Ray giving the Philippe air punch in the last panel?
Is Ray giving the Philippe air punch in the last panel?
daidai
+3 -0
Survey says: Ray will regret listening to his penis.
Survey says: Ray will regret listening to his penis.
invidious
+1 -0
I don't think he is. You can practically HEAR his penis deflating in panels 8 through 12.
I don't think he is. You can practically HEAR his penis deflating in panels 8 through 12.
daidai
+3 -0
Also: it kind of looks like Tina has boobs aligned on a vertical plane, better known as towertitties. It is a most unfortunate birth defect
Also: it kind of looks like Tina has boobs aligned on a vertical plane, better known as towertitties. It is a most unfortunate birth defect
hardelicious
+4 -0
I think those lines are onstad's attempt at replicating that beautiful little horizontal wrinkle that some ladies get when wearing something snug.
Anybody else with me? Does that have a name? Is this a thing?
I think those lines are onstad's attempt at replicating that beautiful little horizontal wrinkle that some ladies get when wearing something snug.
Anybody else with me? Does that have a name? Is this a thing?
deadpool
+4 -0
Boobs sometimes cause the shirt of the female to spread in the center making the little wrinkle you see on Tina.
Such as:
Boobs sometimes cause the shirt of the female to spread in the center making the little wrinkle you see on Tina.
Such as:
hardelicious
+0 -0
Yes. This is what I was referencing above. Does anyone else find that wrinkle incredibly hot? Like you'd rather stare at the wrinkle than either side of it? Is this considered a fetish?
Yes. This is what I was referencing above. Does anyone else find that wrinkle incredibly hot? Like you'd rather stare at the wrinkle than either side of it? Is this considered a fetish?
apocowarg
+4 -0
It has always made me feel like my pants are a prison, yes.
It has always made me feel like my pants are a prison, yes.
sje46
+1 -0
shirt wrinkles are the only thing I look for in a girl.
shirt wrinkles are the only thing I look for in a girl.
apocowarg
+0 -0
The Shinkles.
The Shinkles.
sje46
+0 -0
The shinkles gve me the tingkles.
The shinkles gve me the tingkles.
hardelicious
+0 -0
The odd thing is that Tina does not actually appear to have the -ahem- assets to produce actual shinkles. I would not have minded if Ray had got with the lady from this strip.
The odd thing is that Tina does not actually appear to have the -ahem- assets to produce actual shinkles. I would not have minded if Ray had got with the lady from this strip.
cynara
+0 -0
So all that time I've spent trying to avoid sporting a shinkle was, possibly, wasted?
So all that time I've spent trying to avoid sporting a shinkle was, possibly, wasted?
hardelicious
+0 -0
Depends. I have not consciously made a decision on whether or not it is hot to see a woman trying to rid herself of a shinkle. I think, though, that my feelings on such a display would be:
pro.
Depends. I have not consciously made a decision on whether or not it is hot to see a woman trying to rid herself of a shinkle. I think, though, that my feelings on such a display would be:
pro.
rowboat
+5 -0
Quote:
Quote:
Depends.
hardelicious
+0 -0
My briefs' absorbency potential is equal to any other thin layer of cotton. They are nothing like the product you allude to.
A fact that haunts me every time someone decides I need to be tickled.
My briefs' absorbency potential is equal to any other thin layer of cotton. They are nothing like the product you allude to.
A fact that haunts me every time someone decides I need to be tickled.
apocowarg
+0 -0
If you were hoping to attract the type of guys who frequent webcomic messageboards then, clearly, it was time wasted. Any piece of clothing that seems to be straining to contain your femininity will be heavily attractive to most men.
If you were hoping to attract the type of guys who frequent webcomic messageboards then, clearly, it was time wasted. Any piece of clothing that seems to be straining to contain your femininity will be heavily attractive to most men.
slab64
+0 -0
When I am younger, sure, ok, but not so much now.
When I am younger, sure, ok, but not so much now.
sirhan_duran
+1 -0
this picture is from "savvymom.ca"
i would not dare to suggest how you started looking for boob-caused shirt wrinkles and ended up at a website for mothers but dr. freud would have something to say
this picture is from "savvymom.ca"
i would not dare to suggest how you started looking for boob-caused shirt wrinkles and ended up at a website for mothers but dr. freud would have something to say
hamscout
+18 -0
telescreen
+0 -0
What is Freud's cigar at the moment in this image?
What is Freud's cigar at the moment in this image?
sje46
+1 -0
Just a cigar.
Just a cigar.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
semi-lit.
semi-lit.
featurelessvoid
+0 -0
Moist
Moist
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Overly interpreted.
Overly interpreted.
tellumo
+0 -0
winner.
winner.
sje46
+0 -0
Come on! We all said pretty much the same thing.
Come on! We all said pretty much the same thing.
howl
+0 -0
a penis!
a penis!
telescreen
+0 -0
I'm the dirty, dirty fellow that just had to attempt to google image search "towertitties" immediately after reading daidai's comment.
Finding no success, I ended my sad, foolish existence shortly after.
I'm the dirty, dirty fellow that just had to attempt to google image search "towertitties" immediately after reading daidai's comment.
Finding no success, I ended my sad, foolish existence shortly after.
deadpool
+1 -0
I have never seen a more furious phone dialing in my life.
I have never seen a more furious phone dialing in my life.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
Almost as furious as his clicking of the mouse.
Almost as furious as his clicking of the mouse.
hardelicious
+1 -0
Beep Bop Dootle Dop, you bitch-ass cell phone!
Beep Bop Dootle Dop, you bitch-ass cell phone!
jetbunny
+0 -0
This is the fury of a cat who has gone too long without the warm, gentle, loving feel of getting your bone on. Do not underestimate him.
...I mean, Christ, he used to get his bone on like, six times a day.
This is the fury of a cat who has gone too long without the warm, gentle, loving feel of getting your bone on. Do not underestimate him.
...I mean, Christ, he used to get his bone on like, six times a day.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Six times?
Six times?
hardelicious
+0 -0
you mean the furious cat that I...
you mean the furious cat that I...
hardelicious
+0 -0
Boned?
Boned?
slab64
+0 -0
See, he even dials in the manner of David Lee Roth in this strip.
See, he even dials in the manner of David Lee Roth in this strip.
chloraloner
+0 -0
Momentarily disappointed, but the boy rallies back with an air-punch and encouragement. Ray's a stand-up fella.
Momentarily disappointed, but the boy rallies back with an air-punch and encouragement. Ray's a stand-up fella.
skiddysmith
+0 -0
is it an air punch or non-existent watch check?
is it an air punch or non-existent watch check?
beefsmipeep
+0 -0
I vote "watch-check".
He is checking to see if it is too late for "meet and catch up" at Napoleon's
I vote "watch-check".
He is checking to see if it is too late for "meet and catch up" at Napoleon's
howl
+0 -0
I thought it was some kind of exaggerated "come on over" gesture. A "what the hell" kind of thing.
I thought it was some kind of exaggerated "come on over" gesture. A "what the hell" kind of thing.
bengreens
+0 -0
Wouldn't he be looking down at his wrist if it were a watch check? I see at as a half-hearted "attaboy!" "gosh darn it!" "heck yeah!" to indicate (perhaps even to muster within himself) an enthusiasm he does not feel.
Wouldn't he be looking down at his wrist if it were a watch check? I see at as a half-hearted "attaboy!" "gosh darn it!" "heck yeah!" to indicate (perhaps even to muster within himself) an enthusiasm he does not feel.
bengreens
+0 -0
damn it, I see it "as" not "at" momentarily dazzled by the brilliance of the Dock Ellis baseball card. Ellis, D.
damn it, I see it "as" not "at" momentarily dazzled by the brilliance of the Dock Ellis baseball card. Ellis, D.
hardelicious
+0 -0
I would like it if there were one more panel attached to this strip: Ray with a thought balloon that says "Heh, no, though."
Because Tina is what we like to call a [i]triflin' chickenhead[i/]
I would like it if there were one more panel attached to this strip: Ray with a thought balloon that says "Heh, no, though."
Because Tina is what we like to call a [i]triflin' chickenhead[i/]
hardelicious
+1 -0
all is lost.
all is lost.
bumpishound
+1 -0
Slash doin' it in the rear, gettin' a mess all on the assetbar.
Slash doin' it in the rear, gettin' a mess all on the assetbar.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Anyone else just picture an ageing guitarist getting it on in the backseat of a car?
Anyone else just picture an ageing guitarist getting it on in the backseat of a car?
usversusthem
+0 -0
(cue the song "Backdoor Lover" by Dujour)
(cue the song "Backdoor Lover" by Dujour)
slab64
+0 -0
(cue the song "Backseat Love" by N*E*R*D)
/more apropos
(cue the song "Backseat Love" by N*E*R*D)
/more apropos
ttagxamm
+0 -0
I was worried for a sec this was gonna go all Kathy McGinty for Ray. Instead he makes a...Luv Connection? How about that.
I was worried for a sec this was gonna go all Kathy McGinty for Ray. Instead he makes a...Luv Connection? How about that.
kickstart
+0 -0
he'll be back in 2 and 2!
he'll be back in 2 and 2!
kickstart
+0 -0
hm, perhaps I should have said :
"Meet women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery"
hm, perhaps I should have said :
"Meet women on TV with the help of Chuck Woolery"
radchilies
+0 -0
DJ Ray got pretty chubby this year
DJ Ray got pretty chubby this year
pwb
+1 -0
Man, could this be a thing? It would be interesting to see more of Tina, see her given some real characterization beyond just a basic hoochie mama.
Also on another note The Great Outdoor Fight arrived on my doorstep this afternoon. Rad.
Man, could this be a thing? It would be interesting to see more of Tina, see her given some real characterization beyond just a basic hoochie mama.
Also on another note The Great Outdoor Fight arrived on my doorstep this afternoon. Rad.
kickstart
+0 -0
She seems like she's had the wind taken out of her sails. All using her soft, sweet, come-on voice instead of her sassy brassy "aw hell no" one.
But yeah now that you mention it that is basically characterization. Dimensions and such.
She seems like she's had the wind taken out of her sails. All using her soft, sweet, come-on voice instead of her sassy brassy "aw hell no" one.
But yeah now that you mention it that is basically characterization. Dimensions and such.
telescreen
+1 -0
I would like this not to be a vehicle for Ray to become all attached to woman in the manner of R. Beef. that is far too predictable for Achewood.
I would like this not to be a vehicle for Ray to become all attached to woman in the manner of R. Beef. that is far too predictable for Achewood.
synapse
+0 -0
that is rad. i can't even remember how many months ago i ordered mine. i hope it comes soon.
that is rad. i can't even remember how many months ago i ordered mine. i hope it comes soon.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
A child being born horny is not only embarrassing for all concerned (Including the midwife, and they don't embarrass easy) but also a cause for some concern.
"Is... is he healthy!"
"A bit too healthy, ma'am, if you understand my meaning. Your child... is a nympho."
A child being born horny is not only embarrassing for all concerned (Including the midwife, and they don't embarrass easy) but also a cause for some concern.
"Is... is he healthy!"
"A bit too healthy, ma'am, if you understand my meaning. Your child... is a nympho."
i_love_kate
+0 -0
(Remember: I'm in France. Hold the funny for a week.)
(Remember: I'm in France. Hold the funny for a week.)
stereo
+1 -0
Do you know what they call a quarter pounder in France?
Do you know what they call a quarter pounder in France?
whiteturtle
+0 -0
They don't call it a quarter pounder with cheese?
They don't call it a quarter pounder with cheese?
hardelicious
+1 -0
trick question. No one can hear what they call it over the tinny roar of their Vespas.
trick question. No one can hear what they call it over the tinny roar of their Vespas.
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Silly hardelicious, Vespas are for Italians!
(And a huge step up from your typical French moped!)
Silly hardelicious, Vespas are for Italians!
(And a huge step up from your typical French moped!)
lechatbotte
+0 -0
Et je sais de ce que j'ai dit!
Et je sais de ce que j'ai dit!
morypcaina
+0 -0
NEVER
TRY TO
GET YOUR
PETER
SU-UCKED IN FRANCE!!
NEVER
TRY TO
GET YOUR
PETER
SU-UCKED IN FRANCE!!
sje46
+0 -0
He speaks from experience.
He speaks from experience.
slab64
+0 -0
That's why he looks like that
That's why he looks like that
dumase
+6 -0
Alternatively on Ray's birthday, Tina probably sat on a cake.
Alternatively on Ray's birthday, Tina probably sat on a cake.
akarroa
+0 -0
and....and farted?
and....and farted?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
don't you DARE ruin cake sitting for me with your damnable suggestion
don't you DARE ruin cake sitting for me with your damnable suggestion
snidedk
+0 -0
I hear there's a website for that sort of thing.
I hear there's a website for that sort of thing.
mrclarinet
+1 -0
To me the best explanation for Tina's change in attitude towards Ray is that she wants to be knocked up by a scratch having man.
Also: Did she always have flapper-style hair?
To me the best explanation for Tina's change in attitude towards Ray is that she wants to be knocked up by a scratch having man.
Also: Did she always have flapper-style hair?
quaga
+0 -0
Oh man, I hope we get to see Mantonio again, this time as the jilted lover. Or is he perhaps the jil ter
Oh man, I hope we get to see Mantonio again, this time as the jilted lover. Or is he perhaps the jil ter
leon_astray
+0 -0
female characters look like their male counterparts.
its a michalangelo thing, he just did guys with breasts.
female characters look like their male counterparts.
its a michalangelo thing, he just did guys with breasts.
awko
+1 -0
Even if you are some sort of mutated reptile abomination, doing guys with breasts is not a substitute for the Real Thing.
Even if you are some sort of mutated reptile abomination, doing guys with breasts is not a substitute for the Real Thing.
daidai
+0 -0
For best effect when reading this strip, imagine that Ray is actually saying those onomatopoeas in Panel 2 due to sexual frustration.
For best effect when reading this strip, imagine that Ray is actually saying those onomatopoeas in Panel 2 due to sexual frustration.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Zip Zop Zibbity Bop!
Zip Zop Zibbity Bop!
daidai
+0 -0
i knew they all secretly talked like Cosby...
i knew they all secretly talked like Cosby...
falseprophet
+0 -0
Cats or black people?
Cats or black people?
rowboat
+0 -0
Black cat people, I think.
Black cat people, I think.
whiteturtle
+2 -1
Ya see, first you get the string, and then you spippidy spoppidy, and you roll around with it, see? Then you take the jello puddin', ah hoo, and you lick your own asshole with your back leg over your head, ah hey.
Ya see, first you get the string, and then you spippidy spoppidy, and you roll around with it, see? Then you take the jello puddin', ah hoo, and you lick your own asshole with your back leg over your head, ah hey.
whiteturtle
+0 -0
see, I was trying to use only the written word to directly evoke a cat speaking with Bill Cosby's voice. That, I believe is at least a 7 on the difficulty scale.
see, I was trying to use only the written word to directly evoke a cat speaking with Bill Cosby's voice. That, I believe is at least a 7 on the difficulty scale.
bumpishound
+0 -0
LE CHAT NOIR
LE CHAT NOIR
octafish
+0 -0
Black Cats?
Black Cats?
daidai
+0 -0
There's a difference?
There's a difference?
akadriver
+0 -0
I was thinking David Lee Roth. Ray and Roth are kindred spirits, in a way.
IIIIIIIIIIII AIN'T GOT NOBOOOOOOOOODAY
I was thinking David Lee Roth. Ray and Roth are kindred spirits, in a way.
IIIIIIIIIIII AIN'T GOT NOBOOOOOOOOODAY
sje46
+0 -0
Let's have a thread dedicated to the craziest things you have done due to sexual frustration.
Let's have a thread dedicated to the craziest things you have done due to sexual frustration.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Cheated on someone. I do not recommend it. It's the fucking worst feeling ever. EVER.
Cheated on someone. I do not recommend it. It's the fucking worst feeling ever. EVER.
stereo
+0 -0
Ray's one mistake was not wearing his telephone jacket.
Last time this happened, they ended up boning under Pat's car***.
*** true story
Ray's one mistake was not wearing his telephone jacket.
Last time this happened, they ended up boning under Pat's car***.
*** true story
daidai
+2 -0
Never had the opportunity to eat spumoni. Always gonna pick a tiramisu in that situation
Never had the opportunity to eat spumoni. Always gonna pick a tiramisu in that situation
daidai
+0 -0
This was not intended for AssetBar.
This was not intended for AssetBar.
bumpishound
+0 -0
This is off topic, unless said tiramisu is sat upon by a horny honey cat.
This is off topic, unless said tiramisu is sat upon by a horny honey cat.
vice
+0 -0
Hell of relationships lately in this comic.
Hell of relationships lately in this comic.
nonanon
+0 -0
I like that, to Ray, the fact that his ex-girlfriend is working in phone sex isn't a big deal, and yet the fact that she got an MBA is.
I like that, to Ray, the fact that his ex-girlfriend is working in phone sex isn't a big deal, and yet the fact that she got an MBA is.
sean1058
+2 -0
oh man how'd she let go of that wine and keep it balanced
oh man how'd she let go of that wine and keep it balanced
autrepoupee
+0 -0
That's the first trait Ray checks for in a suitable mate.
1) Wine Balance.
2) Status of titties.
That's the first trait Ray checks for in a suitable mate.
1) Wine Balance.
2) Status of titties.
whiteturtle
+5 -0
TITTIES STATUS: RUDE
TITTIES STATUS: RUDE
hamscout
+0 -0
Beep Bop Dootle DOP :
THIS...IS...A... HOMEBOY!
Beep Bop Dootle DOP :
THIS...IS...A... HOMEBOY!
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
Rockin' thighs, dude!
Rockin' thighs, dude!
whiteturtle
+0 -0
FUCK YOU RAY SMUCKLES, I AM GOING TO DRIVE ALL OVER THIS CORN! THIS CORN IS YOU RAY SMUCKLES!
FUCK YOU RAY SMUCKLES, I AM GOING TO DRIVE ALL OVER THIS CORN! THIS CORN IS YOU RAY SMUCKLES!
possums
+0 -0
This is the funniest Achewood in weeks BRING THIS TO AT LEAST A 4.7 NOW
Panels 7-14 SLAY ME
This is the funniest Achewood in weeks BRING THIS TO AT LEAST A 4.7 NOW
Panels 7-14 SLAY ME
awko
+2 -0
"Panels 7-14, on my command, unleash hell "
"Panels 7-14, on my command, unleash hell "
sje46
+0 -0
When was the last time we saw Tina?
Was it during the Culpepper thing?
When was the last time we saw Tina?
Was it during the Culpepper thing?
octafish
+0 -0
Tina has a very stable lap.
It looks like Ray is going to start worrying about how do deal with a lady doing a :( again.
Tina has a very stable lap.
It looks like Ray is going to start worrying about how do deal with a lady doing a :( again.
quaga
+1 -0
You realize that your phone sex operator is your ex. She does a :(
You realize that your phone sex operator is your ex. She does a :(
drskradley
+0 -0
He turns around so furiously.
He turns around so furiously.
cynara
+4 -0
Ray's phone sex itinerary sounds like it could have come off of his decision-making flowchart. He just can't stop himself from turning a mother out.
Is it phone sex?
-> turn it out like Rock and Roll Smithsonian ->[IT IS YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND ON THE PHONE SEX LINE] -> She has an MBA -> [MEET HER FOR COSMOS].
Ray's phone sex itinerary sounds like it could have come off of his decision-making flowchart. He just can't stop himself from turning a mother out.
Is it phone sex?
-> turn it out like Rock and Roll Smithsonian ->[IT IS YOUR EX-GIRLFRIEND ON THE PHONE SEX LINE] -> She has an MBA -> [MEET HER FOR COSMOS].
zpj0001
+0 -0
Well XKCD still owns the record for most awkward pause panels.
Well XKCD still owns the record for most awkward pause panels.
sje46
+1 -0
I remember reading that months ago and totally not getting it. Now it's hilarious to me.
I remember reading that months ago and totally not getting it. Now it's hilarious to me.
theguitarhero
+0 -0
same. chubby for feeling the same, and also to make up for yesterday.
same. chubby for feeling the same, and also to make up for yesterday.
rowboat
+1 -2
XKCD also still owns the record at sucking my ass way too hard for the longest time even after I asked it nicely to please cut it out.
XKCD also still owns the record at sucking my ass way too hard for the longest time even after I asked it nicely to please cut it out.
sje46
+0 -0
It's a fine comic; it just fills a different niche.
It's a fine comic; it just fills a different niche.
rowboat
+0 -2
So did Hitler.
So did Hitler.
sje46
+0 -0
But that's a type of logical fallacy.
But that's a type of logical fallacy.
rowboat
+2 -0
So was Hitler.
So was Hitler.
featurelessvoid
+2 -0
Congratulations, rowboat , you are this week's Godwin Award winner! Come on up to the podium to claim your prize: a dead horse and a baseball bat.
Congratulations, rowboat , you are this week's Godwin Award winner! Come on up to the podium to claim your prize: a dead horse and a baseball bat.
biff
+0 -0
It's OK that you aren't geeky enough to enjoy XKCD.
I enjoy it immensely, but then I was Magna Cum Laude in mathematics, and I carry a pocket periodic table of the elements in my wallet.
It's OK that you aren't geeky enough to enjoy XKCD.
I enjoy it immensely, but then I was Magna Cum Laude in mathematics, and I carry a pocket periodic table of the elements in my wallet.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I enjoy it. I just wish I didn't have to spend half an hour on Wikipedia to get the joke.
I enjoy it. I just wish I didn't have to spend half an hour on Wikipedia to get the joke.
sje46
+0 -0
Really? The jokes aren't that hard. You don't have to be an expert in coding or math in order to get most of them.
I'm not, but I get 95% of them.
Of course, you have to know a lot of the memes/internet phenomena.
Really? The jokes aren't that hard. You don't have to be an expert in coding or math in order to get most of them.
I'm not, but I get 95% of them.
Of course, you have to know a lot of the memes/internet phenomena.
rowboat
+0 -0
Yes, but I do not enjoy the web comic entitled XKCD.
Yes, but I do not enjoy the web comic entitled XKCD.
sje46
+0 -0
Yes, but shut up.
Yes, but shut up.
sje46
+0 -0
Your opinion has been made, noted, and thrown away.
Your opinion has been made, noted, and thrown away.
rowboat
+0 -1
There's hope for you yet! Now if we can just do something about that limp little wrist of yours, we'll be in business.
There's hope for you yet! Now if we can just do something about that limp little wrist of yours, we'll be in business.
sje46
+0 -0
I can't help my limp little wrist. It's a birth defect.
Why are you so insensitive?
I can't help my limp little wrist. It's a birth defect.
Why are you so insensitive?
rowboat
+0 -0
Also a birth defect.
Also a birth defect.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
MY MOM HAS NO WRISTS
MY MOM HAS NO WRISTS
sje46
+1 -0
Haha, your mom has no wrists!
Seriously, I'm not a big fan of her.
Haha, your mom has no wrists!
Seriously, I'm not a big fan of her.
cromar
+0 -0
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mjfitzge, EM2, tellumo)
A comment left by cromar was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by mjfitzge, EM2, tellumo)
notcool
+0 -0
Then go read Dresden Codak. geeky in different ways. Made me accidentally remember transhumanism. I think I laughed more at transhumanism than the comic, though.
Then go read Dresden Codak. geeky in different ways. Made me accidentally remember transhumanism. I think I laughed more at transhumanism than the comic, though.
autrepoupee
+0 -0
wait a minute who is eating a Hostess pie in this world somewhere, and what does it have to do with XKCD?
also is that David Liebe Hart in your new avatar, or is just some other out-of-focus, vaguely uncomfortable guy?
wait a minute who is eating a Hostess pie in this world somewhere, and what does it have to do with XKCD?
also is that David Liebe Hart in your new avatar, or is just some other out-of-focus, vaguely uncomfortable guy?
arbys
+0 -0
The funny thing about this is I can see this being an actual Achewood strip.
The funny thing about this is I can see this being an actual Achewood strip.
singtralala
+0 -0
totally
totally
joshuah
+0 -0
it is what Hollywood likes to call a "cute meet".
it is what Hollywood likes to call a "cute meet".
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, falseprophet, chuvak, tellumo)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Absurdist, falseprophet, chuvak, tellumo)
morypcaina
+1 -0
i now i kli pepse 4 less al time
i now i kli pepse 4 less al time
drmemory
+0 -0
The dyslexic bot speaks.
The dyslexic bot speaks.
octafish
+0 -0
Gladi8orrex is a Ewe Boll fan? It suddenly all makes sense.
Gladi8orrex is a Ewe Boll fan? It suddenly all makes sense.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -1
a number of topics i need to touch on first:
laughing out loud at Beef's in the last strip. he looked like the guy who got punked out on in Heart Of America (huge ball of flame, you wouldn't know 'cos it's so awesome)
second: also i need to mention i had something about black people but i can't remember this time. was not a joke but more an observation like i did before with the black women. anyway i don't remember so :/
third: what is with bitches steppin' to me online and off i mean i kill people for less. my brother getting tired tracking their IPs and i'm running out of cash buying plane tickets but i have excess beatdowns to give around the world on any hater.
here is a poem
alonzo had a terrible day.
he tried to make a man see things his way.
but in the end he got shot in the knee.
king kong ain't got shit on me.
a number of topics i need to touch on first:
laughing out loud at Beef's in the last strip. he looked like the guy who got punked out on in Heart Of America (huge ball of flame, you wouldn't know 'cos it's so awesome)
second: also i need to mention i had something about black people but i can't remember this time. was not a joke but more an observation like i did before with the black women. anyway i don't remember so :/
third: what is with bitches steppin' to me online and off i mean i kill people for less. my brother getting tired tracking their IPs and i'm running out of cash buying plane tickets but i have excess beatdowns to give around the world on any hater.
here is a poem
alonzo had a terrible day.
he tried to make a man see things his way.
but in the end he got shot in the knee.
king kong ain't got shit on me.
kickstart
+0 -0
huge ball of flame = Uwe Boll Film
huge ball of flame = Uwe Boll Film
sje46
+0 -0
I don't know if I want to see Postal or Disaster Movie. Can someone help me out?
I don't know if I want to see Postal or Disaster Movie. Can someone help me out?
zombiezero
+0 -0
Ray dialed the FUCK out of that phone.
Ray dialed the FUCK out of that phone.
chuvak
+0 -0
Holy balls that is the best avatar i have ever seen.
Holy balls that is the best avatar i have ever seen.
prettyrad
+1 -0
singtralala
+0 -0
wow, roast beef for dinner
wow, roast beef for dinner
opprobrium
+2 -0
totally gonna french.
totally gonna french.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
oh awesome
oh awesome
kickstart
+0 -0
That's a really pretty song, Ray, what do you call it?
This piece is called 'Lick my LovePhoenix'
That's a really pretty song, Ray, what do you call it?
This piece is called 'Lick my LovePhoenix'
octafish
+0 -0
It's in D minor which is the saddest of keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
It's in D minor which is the saddest of keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
dasilodavi
+0 -0
I'm a little lost here. Does there exist a line, a sex line, that one can call to pick up a lady, and Tina just happens to subscribe to it? Or is that just Ray's name for his black book and he just happened to get THIS number of all things (an implausible scenario for a number of reasons)?
I'm a little lost here. Does there exist a line, a sex line, that one can call to pick up a lady, and Tina just happens to subscribe to it? Or is that just Ray's name for his black book and he just happened to get THIS number of all things (an implausible scenario for a number of reasons)?
octafish
+0 -0
Tina is working as a phone sex worker, Ray is planning to have phone sex with a stranger (maybe Kathy's number was engaged), fate (Onstadt) conspires to place the two ex-lovers together again.
Tina is working as a phone sex worker, Ray is planning to have phone sex with a stranger (maybe Kathy's number was engaged), fate (Onstadt) conspires to place the two ex-lovers together again.
octafish
+0 -0
Where the fuck did that extra "t" come from? Motherfuckin' "t"s actin' like they own place...
Where the fuck did that extra "t" come from? Motherfuckin' "t"s actin' like they own place...
octafish
+0 -0
Fuck "the"s also...
Fuck "the"s also...
irondave
+0 -0
It's also "Cathy" not "Kathy", for those who are keeping score at home.
It's also "Cathy" not "Kathy", for those who are keeping score at home.
octafish
+0 -0
Oh jeesuz ...
Oh jeesuz ...
achilleselbow
+0 -0
My PG-13 expectations led me to assume it was a phone sex line, because I didn't think Achewood was ready to deal with the subject of prostitution in a non-surreal fashion.
My PG-13 expectations led me to assume it was a phone sex line, because I didn't think Achewood was ready to deal with the subject of prostitution in a non-surreal fashion.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
I've said it before 'You buy the ticket and take the ride'
I've said it before 'You buy the ticket and take the ride'
dasilodavi
+0 -0
I think they are. Ray's ready to take folks up in his jet to join the mile high club for a nominal fee, I think renting a lady of the night is fair game for the Achewood crew. I guess what's holding me up is the idea that Ray can be sated by mere words whispered softly through his cell phone while he whacks it. Then again, any port in a storm I suppose.
I think they are. Ray's ready to take folks up in his jet to join the mile high club for a nominal fee, I think renting a lady of the night is fair game for the Achewood crew. I guess what's holding me up is the idea that Ray can be sated by mere words whispered softly through his cell phone while he whacks it. Then again, any port in a storm I suppose.
norrin
+0 -0
This line does indeed exist. If you live in any large city, they are in your phone book under "escorts."
Yes. There are prostitutes on the yellow pages.
This line does indeed exist. If you live in any large city, they are in your phone book under "escorts."
Yes. There are prostitutes on the yellow pages.
sje46
+0 -0
I'm from a small town, and when I went to Philadelphia and opened the phonebook, I was shocked.
From then on, whenever I went to a new place, I always looked up "escorts".
I'm from a small town, and when I went to Philadelphia and opened the phonebook, I was shocked.
From then on, whenever I went to a new place, I always looked up "escorts".
kickstart
+0 -0
Until everyone started saying Tina was a phone sex worker, I assumed it was one of those "Chat now with local singles!" type of lines. (Ladies always talk free btw)
Until everyone started saying Tina was a phone sex worker, I assumed it was one of those "Chat now with local singles!" type of lines. (Ladies always talk free btw)
irondave
+0 -0
See, I thought Ray dialed Tina at home specifically, and spoke of her number as a "sex line" and referred to himself with a fake name because, well, he is Ray. And I thought that Tina recognized his voice immediately and was just playing along.
See, I thought Ray dialed Tina at home specifically, and spoke of her number as a "sex line" and referred to himself with a fake name because, well, he is Ray. And I thought that Tina recognized his voice immediately and was just playing along.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Sorry irondave, your literary interpretation is not grounded in the text.
Sorry irondave, your literary interpretation is not grounded in the text.
irondave
+0 -0
Awwwww, man! Other than what appears to be a phone book in panel 2, I think my interpretation is just fine. And it's just as funny to me, maybe moreso.
But, you are the professional on these matters. I'm waiting until someone else has a manufacturing question.
Awwwww, man! Other than what appears to be a phone book in panel 2, I think my interpretation is just fine. And it's just as funny to me, maybe moreso.
But, you are the professional on these matters. I'm waiting until someone else has a manufacturing question.
kamet
+0 -0
Soo....if I'm trying to adapt the process for a fifth wheel installation to change it to a stationary fifth wheel... what all assemblies will I have to change?
Soo....if I'm trying to adapt the process for a fifth wheel installation to change it to a stationary fifth wheel... what all assemblies will I have to change?
irondave
+1 -0
I, uh, ... do you have the drawings?
I, uh, ... do you have the drawings?
autrepoupee
+0 -0
You mean, those aren't for phone sex?
my god what have i done
You mean, those aren't for phone sex?
my god what have i done
irondave
+0 -0
What you have done is improved a lot of lives, Autre.
What you have done is improved a lot of lives, Autre.
handheld
+0 -0
All furious dialing 555-4SEX.
All furious dialing 555-4SEX.
paperboy_2000
+3 -0
The Chubby Knight
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself put on a little weight.
The Chubby Knight
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself put on a little weight.
qingofchina
+0 -0
Ray is about to pen an original blues track titled "My Money All Gone."
Ray is about to pen an original blues track titled "My Money All Gone."
singtralala
+0 -0
oh, the silence, the awkward silence
oh, the silence, the awkward silence
gowerski
+0 -1
ray has toes for fingers
ray has toes for fingers
fannin
+0 -0
This one is my favorite.....
This one is my favorite.....
henry_pussycat
+0 -0
Beep bop dootle dop.
Beep bop dootle dop.
henry_pussycat
+0 -0
Draw the chain all the way, Onstad. Lazy bastard.
Draw the chain all the way, Onstad. Lazy bastard.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
i jus' noticed that, too.
what in the darn heck.
i jus' noticed that, too.
what in the darn heck.
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by domakesaypat, Deadpool, gladi8orrex, 7th_shot, Tucky, LordHumungus, robotrodeo, mailbean, prius_chaser, waldo913, pnmclaug, desert_donkey, smilebuddha, excusemesenator, campincarl, gowerski, I_Love_Kate, pogo)
A comment left by saulbellow was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by randombeing, bumpishound, Deusoma, 7th_shot, pamelushka, excusemesenator)
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Homepie, lobster_mobster, gladi8orrex, LordHumungus, ActualTaunt, thacO, desert_donkey, smilebuddha)
This forum is only to be used for the discussion of horny, talking cats.
Just as god intended.
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, Absurdist, LordHumungus)
i DID catch that rockfest bumpishound... but I digress because I saw neither horny cats OR linoleum sexin'... therefore this is the wrong venue to speak of such things..
AssetBar, The User Community Which Filters Out Conversation (TM)
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, LordHumungus, desert_donkey)
Comment left by penis ignored.
Choose wisely.
Or perhaps you can make a large rocket from them.
Mr. Wongburger! These dicks won't hold together! We need something to wrap them with, like a... dick!
I have an advanced degree in dicknology!
I love the tone of voice they use when they say the word "Dick".. it's just... great.
I like your enjambment, penis
T.A.F.!
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, LordHumungus, griggs_although)
I am a massive Primus fan, and yet due to my geographic positioning, I have still never seen them live :(
But I was all up ins the pit for Rage Against the Machine at the most recent Big Day Out, so I can cross one thing off the list.
Primus and Rage Against the Machine? What, were you doing a remake of a Plan B skate video from 1992?
heh heh heh
You guys do realize that some people here were actually born after Kurt Cobain died, and many others were probably still playing with GI Joes at the time, right? I'll never forget the time I heard Nirvana on the local classic rock station.
I was 5 on that fateful day.
I was born 3 months and 16 days later
My point is why would you want to listen to either Primus or RATM if you were in those age groups you delineated?
If you happened to be young enough to be more amazed by velcro than interested those bands when they were all the
ragefervor, then count it as a blessing.The reason you don't like those bands is due to your opinions. Please don't insist them upon the rest of us.
So nerrrrr
So, if I'm hearing it correctly, there's no reason anyone today should be interested in Mozart or Beethoven, because we weren't born yet?
And Caruso and Paganini, so pre-Twenty-First-Century! Primus ain't no Beethoven, but so what? You didn't have to like it when it was fresh, you don't have to like it now, and that don't make it wrong for someone else to dig it, then or now!
Same thing Pearl Jam, R.E.O. Speedwagon, M.C. Hammer, Frank Sinatra - whatever. No one has to agree with your taste for it to be valid, and even if everyone disagrees, it still ain't invalid. It's YOUR taste! You don't have to explain it to anyone. And they don't have to explain it to you.
Where were you in '96? That was a very good year, Kylie did the duet with Nick, Radio Birdman rocked the RRR stage, Spiderbait and Regurgitator were at the height of their powers, and of course TISM had the weather balloon headgear that broke free from Ron Hitler Barassi's mask and sailed away across Melbourne.
In '96 I was 12 years old, and I believe I would have been starting to get used to the idea of sitting alone in my room and yelling along with music in an early teen angst, and/or noticing my first pubics and that special thing you can do with your hand. I got into both Primus and Rage at that time (hence the automatic connection they have to each other for me), and I was way too nerdy to go to a gig of any kind. My first was Homebake in either '98 or '99, where I fell in love with Bluebottle Kiss and early Avalanches, and I first heard Jay from Frenzal Rhomb say random things after songs such as "Fuck Jeff Kennett! " and "Me neighbours are cunts! "* I went to a number of different things after that, but possibly not to the extent of other people.
Through some twist of fate, my first BDO was actually only last year, believe it or not.
*Hot damn that still makes me laugh.
You two are from a very different place. Definitely down with the "Wild Roses," though. That's for everyone.
I should point ou that RATM played at the '96 BDO (they headlined from memory), but I'm guessing as you were twelve then you may not have known that.
'94 Somersault will pinnacle all. Sonic Youth, Pavement, Beck, Foo Fighters, The Amps, Beastie Boys, just to name the few I can remember. And this is back in '94, when these bands were good!
Just for the sake of conversation:
Sonic Youth were done being good at that point. Pavement was good up till the end. Beck is still good. Foo Fighters were never good.
Discuss.
With respect to Beck, he is not consistent so if you liked him in 94 you may not like what he does now.
OK, 2 things.
1. I used to watch Primus on Haight street (Nightbreak, I-Beam) a couple times each month when I moved to SF. Blew my mind, favorite band of the time, ec. This weekend's set was more of a Les Claypool with members of Primus Jam Band Set ... which wasn't a bad thing at all, it still rocked. (I'm a bassist & I think he's sort of the Jimmy Hendrix of rock bassists, after of course Jaco, but Jaco still played by the rules, to a degree.) But a bit different, all the same.
2. Today I got an email from The Independent (local rock club) saying Beck is playing Sunday, & I had a "limited internet period" to buy 2 tix. Now, the Indy is like 400 max, so it's gonna be an *awesome* show, but of course it was totally impossible to log on and actually buy said tix. 5 minutes of "refresh" and "fuck fuck fuck" and it's all, thanks for fucking up the Beck set at Outside Lands, now it's fuck me in my inbox less than one week later.
And yes, I like him now as much as his earlier incarnations.
My wife and I have seen Beck twice already, once for Guero (where a huge boombox descended onto the stage) and once for The Information (where most of the concert was simultaneously reproduced by 1/10th-scale "Team America"-style puppets).
We were lucky enough to get tickets to one of the Oct. Beck shows in Chicago. Though Modern Guilt hasn't blown me away, I find that each of his albums grows on me as I sample the complexity of it over time. And I'm a BIG supporter of artists changing their sound over time--if I wanted to hear the debut album with slightly different lyrics, I'd go listed to it performed at a karaoke bar.
I saw Sonic Youth in Poland last year. They kicked ass.
pavement is so good
THE BEST
Oh. Right. Never mind my comments above. I now know why you don't like RATM or Primus.
Oh, I liked RATM and Primus a bit when I was 14. But I soon grew tired of (what I find to be) their annoying, overhyped music...not to mention the ever present apology for both bands: "Tom Morello/Les Claypool is an AMAZING guitar/bass player!" Too bad that doesn't overcome the shitty songs they write (in my opinion).
Let me guess, you're pegging me as some indie elitist because I like Pavement, right?
Yeah, you're probably right. But I formed my opinion of RATM and Primus before I was ever an indie rocker, if that makes it any better.
Didn't want to be offensive, everyone is entitled to their elitist musical opinions (mine included). I'm surrounded by Indy Snobs who irk at rhythm/groove as the basis for good songwriting. Although I'm glad RATM died when they did, and Primus probably should have maybe an album earlier, I think they have a catalogue of pieces that could be defined as great songwriting.
Once again though, this is all just musical opinion. Viva la difference, etc.
pavement and achewood go together really well
i was in 6th grade...actin a fool transmittin' cuddies all over school.
That is because that is Les Claypool's job. Ahem:
"She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit.
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days.
The sight was beyond belief.
Many a head snapped for double - even triple - takes as this vivacious feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were known to hang out.
THEY HUNG IN DROVES."
Isn't Les Claypool the guy who was too silly to be Geddy Lee but too obvious to be a Resident?
I can see why Jandek would say that. Or at least the representative from Corwood Industries.
Jandek is too emotive to be a rockstar but too insane to not make guitar songs.
dammit...now it'll be weird to change my avatar...
He was also too obvious to be in Metallica.
Not too hot, not too cold - Primus was just right.
I like Seas of Cheese when it dropped, but their tricks got old quick.
I started to listen to Pork Soda again and it's still the fucking best.
Possibly not the best for fucking , however. Depends on who you're with, and what they're on, I guess.
soooo do you guys like songs?
I like the Beatles' songs.
Yeah, I'm going to listen to some Boston now, and remember the time I saw the Four Tops live. I am 26.
I prefer movements .
... bowel or musical?
Man at least "first post" has some irony to it. :[
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by MelloClello, gladi8orrex, cmjhogan, LordHumungus, fieryjack)
I may well get lamed too, but was it Outside Lands?
A comment left by bumpishound was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by gladi8orrex, cmjhogan, LordHumungus)
dogg about 87% of what i post is variations on "have you checked out *insert band no one has heard of here?*" it's not music talk, definitely not rock talk; the thing is, posting at random about a fest you went to is the same as entering a thread about Primus and being all "hey, achewood is a pretty great comic, right?"
Assetbar doesn't filter out conversation, it just keeps the signal-to-noise ratio in a good spot.
With all due respect.
"Signal to noise ratio". Very well said.
Like the LovePhoenix I rise, from the fucking ashes.
the ashes of FUCKing!
How about that local sports team?
The sports team from my area is better than the sports team from your area.
My area's sports team just bought the best player off of your area's sports team and is trading them for spinynorman.
Spinynorman is the A-Rod of Assetbar, all weak-ass stats and no clutch at bats.
That's right, I'm calling all your "A friend of mine was really wasted one night and..." stories out, Tad.
OK, not really.
What am I?
*eager look*
You're pinch-hitting for Pedro Borbon, so my guess is Manny Mota...Mota...Mota...
?
Sigh.
Here.
The above link is broken and I urge no one to click on it, as you might cut yourself.
Oh Assetbar, I can't quit you, try as I might...
Ow!
Look, it was either a dumb "Brokeback Mountain" joke, or write 100 times on the blackboard "Manny Mota is not a file folder" and "superfluous '/' are dumb". Not enough time in the day for both. But one connection to make up for it:
I gonna go ahead and designate myself the Eddie Gaedel of Assetbar.
and I myself am Sammy Sosa. Corking my keyboard to get good posts.
[since we're not talking about the strip, but some stupid GD fucking concert in San Fagcisco..].. Manny Mota: the quintessential pinch hitter of ALL TIME.
nice retro Houston Colt .45s card. but he'll always be a Dodger to me.
who is the one on cocaine
i am the one on cocaine
You are Keith Hernandez, Lee Mazzilli, Darryl Strawberry, Lonnie Smith, Doc Gooden, Dave Parker, Tim Raines and about 500 other less interesting players from the mid-'80s.
And if we're going to steer this game in this directions, I want to be Dock Ellis instead.
a chubby for that one as well. wow.. Dock Ellis crazier than shit. i always think of .. jeez, can't think of his name. Milton Bradley these days. just blacks guys with chips on their shoulder looking for a fight. Alber Bell comes to mind (formerly "Joey" Bell).
ahh.. it was Tony Phillips. coke steroids = flying off outta control all the time.
nothing better than a Dock Ellis reference.
unless it's what he was on.
It occurs to me that I have posted this gif at least twice now on Assetbar at different times and in different places. Good thing it's just about the best thing ever. Kinda softens the blow.
Seconded.
LOLS. chubby.
great post. again, NOTHING to do with the strip, but that post was nailed.
but keith? say it ain't so! he's considered the greatest defensive 1st baseman of all time!
the best part of your post is the "interesting". all those players were 'colorful' or 'interesting' and shined brightly in many situations.
Steve Howe died on a lonely stretch of desert road not far from here (well, about 2 hours).
At first I read that as "that big cock fest" and then you said it was in San Francisco, so I thought that made sense.