nabeel84
+8 -0
I always took Cornelius as the kind of guy who would be smooth with the ladies.
I always took Cornelius as the kind of guy who would be smooth with the ladies.
petitegitan
+3 -0
He probably comes at them with too many words. Pick-ups cannot be confusing.
He probably comes at them with too many words. Pick-ups cannot be confusing.
chaesar
+68 -0
Hey you try reciting Victor Hugo over 120 decibels of Ludacris.
Hey you try reciting Victor Hugo over 120 decibels of Ludacris.
deancain29
+1 -0
amen!
amen!
shogun
+1 -0
Yes.
Yes.
spinynorman
+3 -0
Normal dudes gotta have talking-level noise to pull off charming.
I can rattle my saber all I want, but it ain't never gonna see battle if the lady I espy can't hear my dozens of puns about her stiletto heels.
Normal dudes gotta have talking-level noise to pull off charming.
I can rattle my saber all I want, but it ain't never gonna see battle if the lady I espy can't hear my dozens of puns about her stiletto heels.
heccibiggs
+3 -0
Tell me one. Right now. Imagine I'm wearing stiletto heels.
Tell me one. Right now. Imagine I'm wearing stiletto heels.
cousinted
+6 -0
Well, there go my plans for a new stage adaptation of Les Miserables.
Well, there go my plans for a new stage adaptation of Les Miserables.
kilroywashere
+1 -0
"I wonder by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved? were we not wean'd till then?
But suck'd on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den ? "
"I wonder by my troth, what thou and I
Did, till we loved? were we not wean'd till then?
But suck'd on country pleasures, childishly?
Or snorted we in the Seven Sleepers' den ? "
soticoto
+0 -0
People don't really, actually, seriously use pick-up lines with full intent to couple.... do they? o_0;
People don't really, actually, seriously use pick-up lines with full intent to couple.... do they? o_0;
deusoma
+0 -0
This is a truth. It happens. Whether or not they are ever at all successful is an entirely different story.
This is a truth. It happens. Whether or not they are ever at all successful is an entirely different story.
soticoto
+1 -0
Natural selection, I guess.
Natural selection, I guess.
saru
+4 -0
I've always imagined him being quite smooth, but not the right flavor of smooth for a dive bar named Smoke.
I've always imagined him being quite smooth, but not the right flavor of smooth for a dive bar named Smoke.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
He is. These are just the wrong kinds of ladies.
He is. These are just the wrong kinds of ladies.
charchar
+22 -0
Love is the fart
of every heart
That when held in, doth pain the host
But when released, pains other most
-=Sir John Suckling=-
Cavalier poet of Cromwellian England.
Love is the fart
of every heart
That when held in, doth pain the host
But when released, pains other most
-=Sir John Suckling=-
Cavalier poet of Cromwellian England.
dejavroom
+0 -0
How this got only 2 chubbies is beyond me.
How this got only 2 chubbies is beyond me.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
shh----it's ten now.
shh----it's ten now.
dybrar
+0 -0
Still only 17. We can do a lot better around here, people!
Still only 17. We can do a lot better around here, people!
dougthehead
+4 -0
It's the venue. Cornelius is used to working his stuff in classier joints. Also, the dude has a serious lack of mane.
It's the venue. Cornelius is used to working his stuff in classier joints. Also, the dude has a serious lack of mane.
centipede_damascus
+2 -0
Man, I got mane. I am naturally a guy who grows such as a mane.
Man, I got mane. I am naturally a guy who grows such as a mane.
riazm
+0 -2
"Get Primal"
Primal is capitalised.
"Get Primal"
Primal is capitalised.
biddlebubbly
+6 -0
Roll call: Who else looked up porpentine? Make me feel less stupid.
Roll call: Who else looked up porpentine? Make me feel less stupid.
fuckyoufriday
+7 -0
Guilty. But whatever, it's just one of those words that Shakespeare made up. what a dick.
Guilty. But whatever, it's just one of those words that Shakespeare made up. what a dick.
comrade_tom
+18 -2
Dissing on Shakespeare is like having an eminem poster, its acceptable when youre 13 or so, beyond that its hella crass.
Dissing on Shakespeare is like having an eminem poster, its acceptable when youre 13 or so, beyond that its hella crass.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
I chubby'd you, hopefully others will do the same in my stead and that one lame will become irrelevant.
I chubby'd you, hopefully others will do the same in my stead and that one lame will become irrelevant.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
chubbied even though I don't agree with you.
chubbied even though I don't agree with you.
pogo
+2 -0
C'mon, it was like hundred of years ago, and the dude heard about this Colonial animal, sort sounded like "porpentine" or summat. Could have been "porcupine," but what's the diff? It's a great allusion to hair sticking straight up from fear, if you bother to read the original passage from Hambone:
I am thy father's spirit,
Doom'd for a certain term to walk the night,
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away. But that I am forbid
To tell the secrets of my prison-house,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their
spheres,
Thy knotted and combined locks to part
And each particular hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine:
But this eternal blazon must not be
To ears of flesh and blood. List, list, O, list!
If thou didst ever thy dear father love--
C'mon, it was like hundred of years ago, and the dude heard about this Colonial animal, sort sounded like "porpentine" or summat. Could have been "porcupine," but what's the diff? It's a great allusion to hair sticking straight up from fear, if you bother to read the original passage from Hambone:
I am thy father's spirit,
Doom'd for a certain term to walk the night,
And for the day confined to fast in fires,
Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature
Are burnt and purged away. But that I am forbid
To tell the secrets of my prison-house,
I could a tale unfold whose lightest word
Would harrow up thy soul, freeze thy young blood,
Make thy two eyes, like stars, start from their
spheres,
Thy knotted and combined locks to part
And each particular hair to stand on end,
Like quills upon the fretful porpentine:
But this eternal blazon must not be
To ears of flesh and blood. List, list, O, list!
If thou didst ever thy dear father love--
saru
+3 -1
Yeah, Shakespeare you dick.
Yeah, Shakespeare you dick.
rowboat
+1 -0
Even worse, I needed to look it up and I didn't. Add to that the fact that I'm at work in a library and I'm sitting approximately four feet from a twenty volume set of the O.E.D. and I'm on the internet, to boot - that means I suck....and I'm still not going to look it up.
Even worse, I needed to look it up and I didn't. Add to that the fact that I'm at work in a library and I'm sitting approximately four feet from a twenty volume set of the O.E.D. and I'm on the internet, to boot - that means I suck....and I'm still not going to look it up.
tourach3
+0 -0
agreed
not looking it up out of principle... i am content with my mediocre intellect
agreed
not looking it up out of principle... i am content with my mediocre intellect
semiquaver
+0 -0
Sorry mate. I have read Hamlet and so on. Which does make me a trifle sad to be honest.
Sorry mate. I have read Hamlet and so on. Which does make me a trifle sad to be honest.
spinynorman
+2 -0
I remember it from Sandman.
I remember it from Sandman.
hargbarf
+5 -0
i just realized that you could end this strip right before the word "down" and it would still make perfect sense.
i just realized that you could end this strip right before the word "down" and it would still make perfect sense.
sp1derbaby
+3 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
dasilodavi
+0 -0
Sometimes I enjoy the delicious change of pace from the absurd that Cornelius provides. Other times, like this, I find myself wishing a plague on the english language for the effect of diminishing the vocabulary such that I can read this strip without taking a lunch break and a nap.
Sometimes I enjoy the delicious change of pace from the absurd that Cornelius provides. Other times, like this, I find myself wishing a plague on the english language for the effect of diminishing the vocabulary such that I can read this strip without taking a lunch break and a nap.
vondicus
+1 -0
Dude does indeed need mane.
Dude does indeed need mane.
atticusonline
+0 -0
bbcode strikes another victim down cold
bbcode strikes another victim down cold
sargasm
+2 -0
"and nor"? Poor form, Cornelius.
"and nor"? Poor form, Cornelius.
gussiejives
+0 -0
The Mansons dig mane apparently. I hope they don't moonlight in that Tull Army.
The Mansons dig mane apparently. I hope they don't moonlight in that Tull Army.
xiaomimi
+12 -0
Today's Blogs
Pat: Reflections on the Holiday Season.
Today's Blogs
Pat: Reflections on the Holiday Season.
tellumo
+0 -0
Pat is exactly the kind of jerk that would try to pass off a concoction of roasted garlic, fake half-and-half, fake sour cream, chicken stock, and Splenda as bearing any resemblance to eggnog.
Pat is exactly the kind of jerk that would try to pass off a concoction of roasted garlic, fake half-and-half, fake sour cream, chicken stock, and Splenda as bearing any resemblance to eggnog.
charchar
+0 -0
I think I can honestly say I would go for pick-up lines from the Donne-ster, if only to say I left the bar with a celebrity.
I think I can honestly say I would go for pick-up lines from the Donne-ster, if only to say I left the bar with a celebrity.
tttt2
+0 -0
Cornelius is quaking with rage
Cornelius is quaking with rage
comrade_tom
+2 -0
Fun saber fact. in the Czech Republic when you want to say that you have vomited following too much drink, you can say you have "Thrown a saber".
Just goes to show that country spent waaaaaay too much time under austrian rule.
Fun saber fact. in the Czech Republic when you want to say that you have vomited following too much drink, you can say you have "Thrown a saber".
Just goes to show that country spent waaaaaay too much time under austrian rule.
firesign
+1 -0
So, being as they look like they're in the Tull Army, I suppose we have to assume that Cornelius has sunk pretty low by this point: Chickenhead Mary is assumedly cross-eyed.
So, being as they look like they're in the Tull Army, I suppose we have to assume that Cornelius has sunk pretty low by this point: Chickenhead Mary is assumedly cross-eyed.
firesign
+1 -0
fuck DAMMIT i did not mean to use various forms of "assume" 17 times in one post
fuck DAMMIT i did not mean to use various forms of "assume" 17 times in one post
stuart
+1 -0
Looks like you just made an ASS out of U.
Looks like you just made an ASS out of U.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
ME?
oh, no. that..um...that guy.
ME?
oh, no. that..um...that guy.
orvel
+1 -0
Man, for the first time...
Roast Beef is a Dick.
Man, for the first time...
Roast Beef is a Dick.
orvel
+1 -0
I know, I know, it's just the mane talking.
I know, I know, it's just the mane talking.
cpnglxynchos
+0 -0
it is funny. your avicon makes it look like Beef's watching a replay of his life and he's making comments.
rad.
it is funny. your avicon makes it look like Beef's watching a replay of his life and he's making comments.
rad.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Look at Beef, all confident and dissing on cornelius's moves when two years ago he thought the best he could do was a transient relationship with an immigrant.
Look at Beef, all confident and dissing on cornelius's moves when two years ago he thought the best he could do was a transient relationship with an immigrant.
handheld
+0 -0
Off with your wiry coronet and show
The hairy diadem which on you doth grow
Off with your wiry coronet and show
The hairy diadem which on you doth grow
gus
+1 -0
I like how the Smoke is in a dead part of town. Maybe back in the fifties this area was thriving, but now there are just a few warehouses and the Smoke.
It's the only place lit up at 3 A.M. Not even any cars parked out front. The bartender is waiting for the drunks with the lion manes to leave so she can close the damn place and go home.
I like how the Smoke is in a dead part of town. Maybe back in the fifties this area was thriving, but now there are just a few warehouses and the Smoke.
It's the only place lit up at 3 A.M. Not even any cars parked out front. The bartender is waiting for the drunks with the lion manes to leave so she can close the damn place and go home.
zapatos
+0 -0
Mr. Bear isn't so bad at picking up the ladies, its the ladies that are bad at getting picked up by He.
Mr. Bear isn't so bad at picking up the ladies, its the ladies that are bad at getting picked up by He.
carlyle
+0 -0
I thought Cornelius would be a master of the game. Maybe it all went out of him with his wife's passing.
(it can also probably be attributed to times a-changin')
I thought Cornelius would be a master of the game. Maybe it all went out of him with his wife's passing.
(it can also probably be attributed to times a-changin')
iamthelolrus
+0 -0
asheme
+0 -0
Donne got a lot of bonin in.
Just sayin'
Donne got a lot of bonin in.
Just sayin'
A comment left by socks was marked as spam and excluded. socks: What a douche. (reported by Zefiel, DeimosRising, afastidioushat)
A comment left by zefiel was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by dayvancowboy, apocowarg, riotdejaneiro, Thorfinn, tibcoolbreeze, jfenserty, rowboat, unkle_bob, thunderbat, Bourbonsamurai, Jhunter, trisha, ActualTaunt, NDCaesar, Fermatprime, atticusonline, sdskyle, aHatOfPig, mystkmanat, ravindra108, mountain, Zem, GunsOfRay, bixschmix, Rapid_Roy, Doc_Rostov, Ryabovsky, afvbs)
A comment left by rowboat was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Boyd, gnjdfsgk, ovenface)
It really bothers me when people mark lame comments as spam.
Like a lot of the stuff retardo used to post. Sure it was ridiculous and most of it was worthy of several lames, but spam? Did it really offend people that much to read someone musing about Onstad's orientation?
I've said this before but it's worth repeating as it's probably the golden rule of achewood: No one should be a cock to a stranger, ever.
A comment left by soticoto was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by salvagebar, Brosaurus, Chromancer)
Or maybe Lame 2: Electric Boogaloo?
Havana Nights
lost in new york
yeah, that sounds like the truth.
But now I have no idea what the original comment was...and am such as forlorn that I will never know.
Well, theryuujin, allow me to blow you away by dropping some knowledge. You can click on the word "comment" in the sentence ("The comment left by socks....") and find out what all the fuss was about. Sorry in advance for the anticlimax.
sometimes you think you want things that you don't actually want
If we could call the cops on retardo, that's what we oughta be doing. Getting him off the comments page is good enough, until someone wakes up and bans him.
It is people like that what causes serious damage to gay peoples such as myself who actually want to talk about gay themes in achewood. Or want to ever have anyone respect them again.
Wait...is retardo still around, even?
good thing you only said his name twice. doing so three times summons him.
DO NOT SUMMON HIM
Nope... thas me.
Discussing closeted homoerotic behaviour summons Retardo.
Indeed, brother, PREACH IT. I miss asherdan and retardo. I've raised my "Lame Limit" into the triple digits precisely because I want to see what everyone has to say.
Yeah, you don't know what was going on with Socks. Wouldn't know unless you had been around when Acheworld came out. Unless you had been 'first' in a way.
But yes, I can't defend the use of XD Man I was severely retarded. Now I'm just bitter.
And I feel stupid for even posting that preachy, pointless bullshit in the first place. I was younger then. Now we're all chilled out and miserable, I guess.
And fatter and balder and...
I dunno man, I think a comment that does nothing except brag about being first resides somewhere on the fine line between spammery and plain idiotry. Kind of like a virus has some of the characteristics of living things.