luquado
+9 -0
Teodor's a rogue cop, uh, chef. At least that's how I picture Roast Beef's "YOU ARE -OFF- THIS ASSIGNMENT!" and then he all throws him out of the precinct.
Teodor's a rogue cop, uh, chef. At least that's how I picture Roast Beef's "YOU ARE -OFF- THIS ASSIGNMENT!" and then he all throws him out of the precinct.
snidedk
+20 -0
"DAMMIT, TEODOR, YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!"
"DAMMIT, TEODOR, YOU'RE A LOOSE CANNON! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!"
gormster
+37 -0
Teodor: When more than half your menu is in quotes, you are running a metaphor, not a restaurant.
Teodor: When more than half your menu is in quotes, you are running a metaphor, not a restaurant.
woodjay
+0 -0
Teodor's menu is not the only one with unnecessary quotation marks
Teodor's menu is not the only one with unnecessary quotation marks
woodjay
+3 -0
oh assetbar, where did I go wrong?
unnecessary quotation marks
oh assetbar, where did I go wrong?
unnecessary quotation marks
straw
+1 -0
By not using bbcode, simply.
By not using bbcode, simply.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
You were hella unfaithful, that is the only locus of understanding.
You were hella unfaithful, that is the only locus of understanding.
gormster
+0 -0
oh my god that is the best blog ever
thank you
or should i say "thank" you
oh my god that is the best blog ever
thank you
or should i say "thank" you
thegoblins
+0 -0
I don't mean to be a Terrible Person, but I was always given to understand in French class that "guele" is somewhat of a vulgar word. "Amuse guele" translates roughly as "stuff that you can toss into your pie-hole to make it happy," whereas "amuse bouche" translates as "delicacies to excite your palate."
I don't mean to be a Terrible Person, but I was always given to understand in French class that "guele" is somewhat of a vulgar word. "Amuse guele" translates roughly as "stuff that you can toss into your pie-hole to make it happy," whereas "amuse bouche" translates as "delicacies to excite your palate."
kamet
+0 -0
and "amuse douche" is somewhere in the middle. And not exciting whatsoever.
and "amuse douche" is somewhere in the middle. And not exciting whatsoever.
gormster
+0 -0
lit. entertainment for the shower
lit. entertainment for the shower
dzieger
+0 -0
Brilliant - that should be the alt text for this strip!
Brilliant - that should be the alt text for this strip!
fallow_fields
+9 -0
GIVE ME YOUR GUN AND YOUR POOFY LOOKING CHEF HAT
GIVE ME YOUR GUN AND YOUR POOFY LOOKING CHEF HAT
glopdemon
+4 -0
*slams garlic press and sashimi knife on chief's desk, storms out*
*slams garlic press and sashimi knife on chief's desk, storms out*
comrade_tom
+1 -0
He's a maverick chief.... but he gets RESULTS.
He's a maverick chief.... but he gets RESULTS.
falseprophet
+0 -0
YOU'RE OFF YOUR CASE, CHIEF!
YOU'RE OFF YOUR CASE, CHIEF!
kickstart
+2 -0
sit down, Dad
sit down, Dad
overmedicated
+0 -0
Starring Candy Creole, the sous chef with a heart of gold.
Sous chefs are basically kitchen whores.
Starring Candy Creole, the sous chef with a heart of gold.
Sous chefs are basically kitchen whores.
daily
+0 -0
I'm gonna make you my vittles bitch, neu!
I'm gonna make you my vittles bitch, neu!
woodjay
+6 -0
Describe to me what Roast Beef Kazenzakis looks like!
What? I?
Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
He-he's a cat...
Does he look like a vittle's bitch?
What?
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A VITTLE'S BITCH?
Describe to me what Roast Beef Kazenzakis looks like!
What? I?
Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time.
He-he's a cat...
Does he look like a vittle's bitch?
What?
DOES HE LOOK LIKE A VITTLE'S BITCH?
quaga
+0 -0
A comment left by quaga was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by blastradius, BuffaloButt, dasilodavi, valuedan)
A comment left by quaga was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by blastradius, BuffaloButt, dasilodavi, valuedan)
quaga
+0 -0
oh, and I can't take credit for that, it came from https://pulpbard.wikispaces.com/
oh, and I can't take credit for that, it came from https://pulpbard.wikispaces.com/
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
All the people who marked the original comment fucking suck.
All the people who marked the original comment fucking suck.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -1
*marked the original comment lame .
*marked the original comment lame .
joestork
+0 -0
Maybe you should write some SONGS about how they fucking....
Oh forget it.
Maybe you should write some SONGS about how they fucking....
Oh forget it.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
I wish I could.
I wish I could.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Iambic chubby.
Iambic chubby.
woodjay
+0 -0
I saw that old Abbot and Costello "who's on first" bit done up like this then the primary gentleman hath his wages levied, to who do you levy his sum?
I saw that old Abbot and Costello "who's on first" bit done up like this then the primary gentleman hath his wages levied, to who do you levy his sum?
maximus
+0 -0
A comment left by maximus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rolotonybrowntown, bhlaab, Davey-Boy)
A comment left by maximus was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by rolotonybrowntown, bhlaab, Davey-Boy)
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
It even ends with a couplet! Perfect!
It even ends with a couplet! Perfect!
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
Just beautiful. v-chub
Then why didst thou attempt to bed him thus?
Just beautiful. v-chub
soulwound
+0 -0
I live in the Hudson Valley area, and I can assure you nobody should eat the duck around here.
I live in the Hudson Valley area, and I can assure you nobody should eat the duck around here.
loneal
+1 -2
Is that true? Or are you just being a vittles bitch?
Is that true? Or are you just being a vittles bitch?
techiebabe
+3 -0
I need to start using 'vittles bitch' in everyday conversation. It seems perfect for when one of the friends, usually a female, is being picky about not wanting anything at a restaurant that we're already at.
I need to start using 'vittles bitch' in everyday conversation. It seems perfect for when one of the friends, usually a female, is being picky about not wanting anything at a restaurant that we're already at.
ethelthefrog
+2 -0
nom nom nom nom
i'm sorry. i just can't help it. that icon gets me every time. makes me smile in very center of my soul.
nom nom nom nom
i'm sorry. i just can't help it. that icon gets me every time. makes me smile in very center of my soul.
fuyukodachi
+1 -0
Between it and the one of Fry with the pineapple, I spend too much time mesmerized by assetbar icons.
Between it and the one of Fry with the pineapple, I spend too much time mesmerized by assetbar icons.
darleen
+0 -0
Agreed. Pineapple Fry is quite addictive. But... Have you seen Brian the hoppity bunny here too? He's a fun little chap. :)
Agreed. Pineapple Fry is quite addictive. But... Have you seen Brian the hoppity bunny here too? He's a fun little chap. :)
woodjay
+0 -0
Or the neon dancing Tyrannosaurus
Or the neon dancing Tyrannosaurus
darleen
+0 -0
Oh yes! How could I forget. Loooove neon dancing Tyrannosaurus as much as that sentence. Heh, Neon Dancing Tyrannosaurus.
Oh, and *wiggly fingers magical virtual chubby for you for reminding me!*
Oh yes! How could I forget. Loooove neon dancing Tyrannosaurus as much as that sentence. Heh, Neon Dancing Tyrannosaurus.
Oh, and *wiggly fingers magical virtual chubby for you for reminding me!*
pogo
+0 -0
What we need is an animated avatar thread, where all those who move get it together.
What we need is an animated avatar thread, where all those who move get it together.
overmedicated
+0 -0
*sniff*
*sniff*
darleen
+0 -0
Awww don't be sad!!! I've spent quite awhile trying to work out who that is. Kinda looks like Moss from IT Crowd. Who is it?
Awww don't be sad!!! I've spent quite awhile trying to work out who that is. Kinda looks like Moss from IT Crowd. Who is it?
echidnaboy
+0 -0
Same guy, different role. That's Richard Ayoade as Dean Learner (as Thornton Reed) in Garth Marenghi's Darkplace .
Same guy, different role. That's Richard Ayoade as Dean Learner (as Thornton Reed) in Garth Marenghi's Darkplace .
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Man, the neon dancing tyrannosaurus is like my Hypnotoad.
Man, the neon dancing tyrannosaurus is like my Hypnotoad.
loneal
+7 -0
That female friend is me! That is entirely me.
I don't eat meat, unless it is 1) a cheap taco from a fast food joint or 2) one of a few certain chicken dishes. Chicken dishes are classified as acceptable or not based on some vibes that I get from them, and not from any concrete system, except that they certainly cannot be cold. I don't like the majority of sauces, and I have more than once asked restaurants to just make me some plain pasta with butter and salt on it. Any dish with too many flavors or too many textures is disqualified (Dr. Pepper is A-okay - I know it has twenty-one flavors or whatever in it, but I perceive it as one flavor). If a meal has more than one component (i.e., a piece of chicken, a piece of bread, and a vegetable), those components cannot touch each other, and must be eaten in whole one at a time.
Basically, when dudes see me at a dinner table, they are like, "I bet I have no chance with a vittles bitch as nasty as that." I eat like the main vittles bitch in all the land.
That female friend is me! That is entirely me.
I don't eat meat, unless it is 1) a cheap taco from a fast food joint or 2) one of a few certain chicken dishes. Chicken dishes are classified as acceptable or not based on some vibes that I get from them, and not from any concrete system, except that they certainly cannot be cold. I don't like the majority of sauces, and I have more than once asked restaurants to just make me some plain pasta with butter and salt on it. Any dish with too many flavors or too many textures is disqualified (Dr. Pepper is A-okay - I know it has twenty-one flavors or whatever in it, but I perceive it as one flavor). If a meal has more than one component (i.e., a piece of chicken, a piece of bread, and a vegetable), those components cannot touch each other, and must be eaten in whole one at a time.
Basically, when dudes see me at a dinner table, they are like, "I bet I have no chance with a vittles bitch as nasty as that." I eat like the main vittles bitch in all the land.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Oh, yuck, no, God no, yuck, ew. You and I aren't dating anymore, not even your little Voodoo loneal I made. You are dead to me. My heart is breaking over here. A picky eater? No! Please say it isn't true. You are the date I never want. Damn. This is an awful day for me. Now I need to find a new person to bug, you are revolting to me.
Oh, yuck, no, God no, yuck, ew. You and I aren't dating anymore, not even your little Voodoo loneal I made. You are dead to me. My heart is breaking over here. A picky eater? No! Please say it isn't true. You are the date I never want. Damn. This is an awful day for me. Now I need to find a new person to bug, you are revolting to me.
loneal
+0 -0
You mean this was all I had to do to get you to stop cherishing my hair? I wish I had figured this out earlier.
You mean this was all I had to do to get you to stop cherishing my hair? I wish I had figured this out earlier.
lux
+0 -0
You know Hedo-bot, I'm an Assetbar lady who loves to devour meat. *wink*
You know Hedo-bot, I'm an Assetbar lady who loves to devour meat. *wink*
loneal
+0 -0
Hedonismbot's fallen soldiers will die on someone else's pillow tonight. Thank you for this, lux. Thank you.
Hedonismbot's fallen soldiers will die on someone else's pillow tonight. Thank you for this, lux. Thank you.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Well, not tonight. I'm already here after all. Just go ahead and go to sleep, I can't wait around forever.
Well, not tonight. I'm already here after all. Just go ahead and go to sleep, I can't wait around forever.
augeno13
+1 -0
you're confusing me with this whole hedonismbot name but robot devil icon.
you're confusing me with this whole hedonismbot name but robot devil icon.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I've been meaning to fix that. I'll probably put a correct avatar up in the next day or two.
I've been meaning to fix that. I'll probably put a correct avatar up in the next day or two.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
This is how much time I have on my hands.
[IMGS OFF]
It's actually kind of lame so you don't have to use it if you don't want.
This is how much time I have on my hands.
[IMGS OFF]
It's actually kind of lame so you don't have to use it if you don't want.
hamscout
+0 -0
oeuwwwww... Does anyone have a fiddle?
oeuwwwww... Does anyone have a fiddle?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
that is a perfect representation of that sound he makes.
that is a perfect representation of that sound he makes.
tekende
+0 -0
A MAN writing an opera about a WOMAN? Oh sirrah, how delightfully absuuurd!
A MAN writing an opera about a WOMAN? Oh sirrah, how delightfully absuuurd!
bixschmix
+0 -0
If only he was feeding himself those grapes, everything would be sublime.
If only he was feeding himself those grapes, everything would be sublime.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
How's this?
How's this?
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Pfft, don't do that. The robot devil is obviously the father of robo-hedonism, the golden greek grape-eater being merely one of his servants on Earth.
Pfft, don't do that. The robot devil is obviously the father of robo-hedonism, the golden greek grape-eater being merely one of his servants on Earth.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
To be fair, he isn't my biological father.
To be fair, he isn't my biological father.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Well that goes without saying, him being a robot and all.
Well that goes without saying, him being a robot and all.
prine
+0 -0
I say if you're going to have a creepy internet person spooging on your pillow every night, it might as well be someone who may also bake you a lovely souffle.
I say if you're going to have a creepy internet person spooging on your pillow every night, it might as well be someone who may also bake you a lovely souffle.
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Oh I make a badass souffle loneal. It's dark chocolate, but I freeze a few chunks of white chocolate and drop it in before baking it, so about halfway in they are all white and creamy and melty. I could drop that off with my normal offering if you want.
Oh I make a badass souffle loneal. It's dark chocolate, but I freeze a few chunks of white chocolate and drop it in before baking it, so about halfway in they are all white and creamy and melty. I could drop that off with my normal offering if you want.
quaga
+0 -0
Wow, sweet and creepy at the same time. My hat is off to you, sir.
Wow, sweet and creepy at the same time. My hat is off to you, sir.
loneal
+0 -0
Two white creamy melty substances for the price of one?! I'd be a fool to refuse!
Two white creamy melty substances for the price of one?! I'd be a fool to refuse!
i_love_kate
+0 -0
You're finally becoming a crafty consumer!
You're finally becoming a crafty consumer!
overmedicated
+0 -0
It... melts?
It... melts?
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
23 flavors! Mmmm...
23 flavors! Mmmm...
girlandagun
+1 -0
This is a horrible thing to admit to the public.
What made you hate food so much? Did your moms not make you try something new now and again? What do you do when you go to other countries?
This is a horrible thing to admit to the public.
What made you hate food so much? Did your moms not make you try something new now and again? What do you do when you go to other countries?
hedonismbot
+1 -0
She just spent time living in Britain. There is no culture more hateful of food than the British.
She just spent time living in Britain. There is no culture more hateful of food than the British.
quaga
+2 -0
No, it's flavor they're opposed to, not food itself. Note their waistlines expanding along with the rest of the western world.
No, it's flavor they're opposed to, not food itself. Note their waistlines expanding along with the rest of the western world.
girlandagun
+0 -0
I feel like that is true except for their appropriate appreciation for Indian cuisine. Colonizing India didn't do much for the Indians (an appreciation for cricket and Ribena? I guess?), but it sure as hell created a cuisine worth eating in the UK.
I feel like that is true except for their appropriate appreciation for Indian cuisine. Colonizing India didn't do much for the Indians (an appreciation for cricket and Ribena? I guess?), but it sure as hell created a cuisine worth eating in the UK.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
The Indian bit is key to British eating. The national food is chicken tikka masala. Imported the most popular dish. Perfect imperialism
The Indian bit is key to British eating. The national food is chicken tikka masala. Imported the most popular dish. Perfect imperialism
odei
+1 -0
We have more than one national dish.
Q) Who ate all the pies?
A) We did, and we ate whatever you ordered too.
We have more than one national dish.
Q) Who ate all the pies?
A) We did, and we ate whatever you ordered too.
lawbot
+0 -0
Well, you're both right. A basic english pub menu is fish and chips done badly, chicken tikka masala, a pie, possibly made of potatoes instead of pastry, and a horrible, terrible lasagna.
In the country that invented the sandwich, and edible pie pastry.
Well, you're both right. A basic english pub menu is fish and chips done badly, chicken tikka masala, a pie, possibly made of potatoes instead of pastry, and a horrible, terrible lasagna.
In the country that invented the sandwich, and edible pie pastry.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Q) How did I only award two chubbies and get qualified as "too friendly?"
A) There is no objective
Feel free to fill in your own insulting A)
Q) How did I only award two chubbies and get qualified as "too friendly?"
A) There is no objective
Feel free to fill in your own insulting A)
hbaranov
+0 -0
A) The Assetmonkey put the spanner in your works to see how you'd jump.
A) The Assetmonkey put the spanner in your works to see how you'd jump.
lawbot
+0 -0
Not true. We love flavourful food. The only people I've known who manage to eat bad food in England are american tourists.
Not true. We love flavourful food. The only people I've known who manage to eat bad food in England are american tourists.
bixschmix
+4 -0
Oh, Lawbot!
[cue musical flourish, which every person should imagine at their own maximum tolerable level of hilarity]
Oh, Lawbot!
[cue musical flourish, which every person should imagine at their own maximum tolerable level of hilarity]
lawbot
+0 -0
Then why are you all watching an ex-footballer from the home counties on your TVs tell your restaurateurs how to be good?
Gordon Ramsey went to a public school (you probably don't know what that means. Except for Hedonismbot, who probably does know.)
Then why are you all watching an ex-footballer from the home counties on your TVs tell your restaurateurs how to be good?
Gordon Ramsey went to a public school (you probably don't know what that means. Except for Hedonismbot, who probably does know.)
bixschmix
+1 -0
I do not ever watch that show, and am intolerably offended that you would think so, sir.
I do not ever watch that show, and am intolerably offended that you would think so, sir.
lawbot
+0 -0
Then how do you know the one I mean?
Then how do you know the one I mean?
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Because you can be aware of a show without ever actually watching it?
Because you can be aware of a show without ever actually watching it?
bixschmix
+1 -0
We have these zany things here in the states called, I believe, "commercials." I think over there you call them "adverts" or something of the sort. I infer that you're referring to that guy on the TV who yells at people and generally is a douchebag, yes? That's my impression at least.
We have these zany things here in the states called, I believe, "commercials." I think over there you call them "adverts" or something of the sort. I infer that you're referring to that guy on the TV who yells at people and generally is a douchebag, yes? That's my impression at least.
loneal
+0 -0
I know what that is! It's private school, you crafty bastards!
I know what that is! It's private school, you crafty bastards!
achilleselbow
+1 -0
If a British man ever offers to show you his publics, it's best to decline.
If a British man ever offers to show you his publics, it's best to decline.
daidai
+1 -0
I totally read that as "pubics" the first four times I reread that.
I totally read that as "pubics" the first four times I reread that.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Have you considered seeing a doctor about getting diagnosed with dyslexia? It'll get you free stuff if you are.
Have you considered seeing a doctor about getting diagnosed with dyslexia? It'll get you free stuff if you are.
lawbot
+0 -0
Only nobbier
Only nobbier
dutch
+1 -0
there is one thing that I resent about my South-English upbringing: I now have overly-high standards for fish and chips, and I have developed an affinity for shepherd's pie, peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches, and sunday lunch.
The two latter items can be produced quite easily, but it is damn-near impossible to find a really good fish and chips in the states
there is one thing that I resent about my South-English upbringing: I now have overly-high standards for fish and chips, and I have developed an affinity for shepherd's pie, peanut butter and cucumber sandwiches, and sunday lunch.
The two latter items can be produced quite easily, but it is damn-near impossible to find a really good fish and chips in the states
cromar
+0 -0
If you mean fried fish and fries (right?) there're tons of good places for that...
If you mean fried fish and fries (right?) there're tons of good places for that...
randyleepublic
+0 -0
Way, way, back in the day there was "Picadilly Circus London Fish and Chips" in Lafayette, Ca. Owned and operated by English folks and the F & C were absolutely delightful. Years went by. They sold it to some non-English. The quality went away, and that was that. Long gone now. So sad.
Anyway, you are right. Other than that bump in time, I find nothing special in the Fish and the Chips hereabouts.
Way, way, back in the day there was "Picadilly Circus London Fish and Chips" in Lafayette, Ca. Owned and operated by English folks and the F & C were absolutely delightful. Years went by. They sold it to some non-English. The quality went away, and that was that. Long gone now. So sad.
Anyway, you are right. Other than that bump in time, I find nothing special in the Fish and the Chips hereabouts.
loneal
+0 -0
At the risk of inviting hedonismbot to stalk me for realz...
I am in Lafayette, CA right now! It is where I grew up! What the hell man, are you telling me we have the same hometown?
At the risk of inviting hedonismbot to stalk me for realz...
I am in Lafayette, CA right now! It is where I grew up! What the hell man, are you telling me we have the same hometown?
hedonismbot
+2 -0
Heheheheh. That was poor judgement.
Heheheheh. That was poor judgement.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
ooh this is gonna be interesting.
ooh this is gonna be interesting.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Fuck off! you ever tried Braised owl with an ivy garnish?
thought not, bloody philistine.
Fuck off! you ever tried Braised owl with an ivy garnish?
thought not, bloody philistine.
sigmacoder
+1 -0
Man, the British just hate food. To be a British chef is to be a sadomasochist. It's like they are trying to punish their mouth for having begotten their teeth.
Man, the British just hate food. To be a British chef is to be a sadomasochist. It's like they are trying to punish their mouth for having begotten their teeth.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Dude the teeth thing? its a massive misconception, loads of americans have crappy teeth, its just that our bourgeoisie and those who grace our screen spend their money on property and cocaine rather than braces and overpriced dentists.
Still the stereotypes works in my favour, I was once mistaken for an american as a result of my Teeth.
Dude the teeth thing? its a massive misconception, loads of americans have crappy teeth, its just that our bourgeoisie and those who grace our screen spend their money on property and cocaine rather than braces and overpriced dentists.
Still the stereotypes works in my favour, I was once mistaken for an american as a result of my Teeth.
lawbot
+0 -0
What are you talking about? All kids in the UK get free dental care. The same cannot be said for america, which is why americans have way worse teeth.
What are you talking about? All kids in the UK get free dental care. The same cannot be said for america, which is why americans have way worse teeth.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I agree, but whereas we get free dental care, thus meaning we have normal functioning teeth, the Americans pay crazy money for all kinds of aesthetic changes, they go in a lot more for teeth whitening treatments and the like whereas we blow the money on other stuff.
I agree, but whereas we get free dental care, thus meaning we have normal functioning teeth, the Americans pay crazy money for all kinds of aesthetic changes, they go in a lot more for teeth whitening treatments and the like whereas we blow the money on other stuff.
lawbot
+0 -0
Well, you may be thinking of rich americans who appear on TV. Basic dental care is expensive enough for a lot of americans.
Well, you may be thinking of rich americans who appear on TV. Basic dental care is expensive enough for a lot of americans.
loneal
+0 -1
It's true that basic dental care is expensive enough for a lot of Americans, but saying that rich Americans who appear on TV are the only ones who go for aesthetic changes is ridiculous. They have like $20 teeth-whitening packs at every drugstore, and I promise you the middle class is all over that shit. People pay for their kids' braces to the detriment of their kids' college funds. Having just spent a few months in England, I feel I can say with confidence that the average American's teeth are whiter and straighter than the average Brit's, though I have no idea about actual health, which may be better in Britain coz of your health care system.
It's true that basic dental care is expensive enough for a lot of Americans, but saying that rich Americans who appear on TV are the only ones who go for aesthetic changes is ridiculous. They have like $20 teeth-whitening packs at every drugstore, and I promise you the middle class is all over that shit. People pay for their kids' braces to the detriment of their kids' college funds. Having just spent a few months in England, I feel I can say with confidence that the average American's teeth are whiter and straighter than the average Brit's, though I have no idea about actual health, which may be better in Britain coz of your health care system.
lawbot
+0 -0
Whiter, sure. Straighter? Not as far as I can see.
Straightness is an aspect of dental health. Whiteness is not - human tooth enamel is subject to natural variation in tone between individuals.
Whiter, sure. Straighter? Not as far as I can see.
Straightness is an aspect of dental health. Whiteness is not - human tooth enamel is subject to natural variation in tone between individuals.
loneal
+0 -0
Man, I am a rich white girl! My moms taught me that the most important thing in life is to be skinny. I got a lot of food hangups!
I just spent a few months in England, and, like the US, there is an average of about 1.5 acceptable food items per restaurant. I got by okay.
Man, I am a rich white girl! My moms taught me that the most important thing in life is to be skinny. I got a lot of food hangups!
I just spent a few months in England, and, like the US, there is an average of about 1.5 acceptable food items per restaurant. I got by okay.
girlandagun
+1 -0
Also being female and white, I understand the food hangups. I eat a lot of steamed vegetables and freak if I fill out a size 6, c/o American Girl Disease. But I just don't get the plates of unseasoned pasta. Especially if you have money! I would eat nothing but scallops and mussels and little slivers of foie gras.
Also being female and white, I understand the food hangups. I eat a lot of steamed vegetables and freak if I fill out a size 6, c/o American Girl Disease. But I just don't get the plates of unseasoned pasta. Especially if you have money! I would eat nothing but scallops and mussels and little slivers of foie gras.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I think I found a new person to stalk. You are a wonderful lady and I look forward to creeping you out.
I think I found a new person to stalk. You are a wonderful lady and I look forward to creeping you out.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Hey man i ain't as picky as loneal but I can be somewhat particular and buttered plain pasta's damn good
Hey man i ain't as picky as loneal but I can be somewhat particular and buttered plain pasta's damn good
lawbot
+0 -0
Man the last time I had that...I was probably living with my mother. And we had access to ketchup.
Man the last time I had that...I was probably living with my mother. And we had access to ketchup.
perilon
+2 -0
Most foods are bland and deserve a whopping helping of ketchup on top. Cottage cheese? Ketchup that bitch. Turkey slices? Ketchup those bitches. Orange juice? ...Well, I draw the line there, but I would ketchup the bitch out of some water.
Most foods are bland and deserve a whopping helping of ketchup on top. Cottage cheese? Ketchup that bitch. Turkey slices? Ketchup those bitches. Orange juice? ...Well, I draw the line there, but I would ketchup the bitch out of some water.
woodjay
+1 -0
ah yes, ketchup and a cup of hot water. me and my friends call that dorm/hobo soup.
ah yes, ketchup and a cup of hot water. me and my friends call that dorm/hobo soup.
daidai
+3 -0
The thought of that makes me think about the pro's and con's of trying to kill myself with my body's own reactions of sheer disgust.
The thought of that makes me think about the pro's and con's of trying to kill myself with my body's own reactions of sheer disgust.
starla
+0 -0
The ultimate dorm soup (which, interestingly enough, I did not encounter in a dorm but last weekend at a lakehouse on a hungover Sunday) is BBQ Beerios. That is exactly what it sounds like.
The ultimate dorm soup (which, interestingly enough, I did not encounter in a dorm but last weekend at a lakehouse on a hungover Sunday) is BBQ Beerios. That is exactly what it sounds like.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Do not even think about Hunt's-ing that bitch.
Do not even think about Hunt's-ing that bitch.
interociter
+3 -0
That bitch won't Hunt's, Monsignor.
That bitch won't Hunt's, Monsignor.
lux
+1 -0
I relish food and I think 130 is a healthy amount of poundage (for my height at least, 5'5.) I have overweight parents, though, so I wasn't really raised with the whole "oh god calories" thing.
I relish food and I think 130 is a healthy amount of poundage (for my height at least, 5'5.) I have overweight parents, though, so I wasn't really raised with the whole "oh god calories" thing.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Lux, you really are a girl after my smutty, foodloving heart.
Lux, you really are a girl after my smutty, foodloving heart.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Todd says that bein' fat rocks. My feelings on this Opinion are Pro.
Todd says that bein' fat rocks. My feelings on this Opinion are Pro.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Er, not to say that I'm calling you fat, merely that I am a tad more zaftig than your own dimensions, and that allegedly rocks.
At least one would hope so, but internet people are still all 'bout the waifs.
Er, not to say that I'm calling you fat, merely that I am a tad more zaftig than your own dimensions, and that allegedly rocks.
At least one would hope so, but internet people are still all 'bout the waifs.
lux
+0 -0
Haha. I'm not fat, but I love a good foot-in-mouth moment. 'S all about the curves.
Haha. I'm not fat, but I love a good foot-in-mouth moment. 'S all about the curves.
bixschmix
+0 -0
You know, I used to think that internet people were all about the waifs, but I am the same size as Lux and am often told by #achewood that I need to eat a pie.
You know, I used to think that internet people were all about the waifs, but I am the same size as Lux and am often told by #achewood that I need to eat a pie.
lux
+0 -0
I'm not particularly waifish though. I'm soft and squishy and can't see my ribs.
I'm not particularly waifish though. I'm soft and squishy and can't see my ribs.
hedonismbot
+3 -0
I volunteer to help you look for them
I volunteer to help you look for them
cromar
+0 -0
Bad robot! No robo-cookies for you, tonight.
Bad robot! No robo-cookies for you, tonight.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Guess who's just going to get....
"Yelled!... Aaaaaaaat!"
Guess who's just going to get....
"Yelled!... Aaaaaaaat!"
lux
+1 -0
Oh, Hedo-bot. Set yourself to vibrate mode and come on over.
Oh, Hedo-bot. Set yourself to vibrate mode and come on over.
pityparty
+0 -1
It's not just white female, though. Western food sucks.
It's not just white female, though. Western food sucks.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
You're kind of like a less refined version of Pat.
You're kind of like a less refined version of Pat.
stereo
+0 -0
This makes me feel a lot more comfortable with my sister's eating habits - she's one of the people who will eat 1 type of food at a time, section by section until the plate is done.
On the other hand, I prefer a mixture of flavours I've stuck random things in my mouth to see if they tasted good together. Usually they do.
This makes me feel a lot more comfortable with my sister's eating habits - she's one of the people who will eat 1 type of food at a time, section by section until the plate is done.
On the other hand, I prefer a mixture of flavours I've stuck random things in my mouth to see if they tasted good together. Usually they do.
stereo
+0 -0
I think what I'm saying is, give mixtures a chance.
I think what I'm saying is, give mixtures a chance.
odei
+0 -0
Did you enjoy the pasta at the restaurant we went to? If not, you are completely a vittles bitch because they cooked some absolutely delicious pasta. Also, how did you eat faster than me? My teeth are practically vestigial!
Did you enjoy the pasta at the restaurant we went to? If not, you are completely a vittles bitch because they cooked some absolutely delicious pasta. Also, how did you eat faster than me? My teeth are practically vestigial!
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, the pasta at the restaurant we went to was splendid . I actually have been craving it since getting back to the States, along with the banoffee pie that was never to be.
Oh, the pasta at the restaurant we went to was splendid . I actually have been craving it since getting back to the States, along with the banoffee pie that was never to be.
girlandagun
+0 -0
Ok, I am ignorant. What is banoffee pie?
Ok, I am ignorant. What is banoffee pie?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
British thing. Boil sweetened condensed milk until the can explodes, call that toffee, smear it with cream, serve it on some godawful crust, cover with banana slices and some other shit. I hate the dish, though other people with good taste sometimes swear by it.
British thing. Boil sweetened condensed milk until the can explodes, call that toffee, smear it with cream, serve it on some godawful crust, cover with banana slices and some other shit. I hate the dish, though other people with good taste sometimes swear by it.
lawbot
+0 -0
How do you know so much about our country?
How do you know so much about our country?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I know the food because I'm half-obsessed with cooking. I know the country because my work keeps making me go there. Honestly, it's the second nicest place I go regularly (I prefer Switzerland, but who doesn't?) The British are crazy-nice, don't mind the whole Bush thing as much as most of the world, and have highly entertaining media. Also, it's beautiful country and great history (which most locals know, unlike my unfortunate home country).
I know the food because I'm half-obsessed with cooking. I know the country because my work keeps making me go there. Honestly, it's the second nicest place I go regularly (I prefer Switzerland, but who doesn't?) The British are crazy-nice, don't mind the whole Bush thing as much as most of the world, and have highly entertaining media. Also, it's beautiful country and great history (which most locals know, unlike my unfortunate home country).
comrade_tom
+0 -2
Probably don't mind the whole bush thing as much as the rest of the world because we're just as guilty of it.
Err i mean... Support our boys! bring our brave lads home! god save the queen!
Probably don't mind the whole bush thing as much as the rest of the world because we're just as guilty of it.
Err i mean... Support our boys! bring our brave lads home! god save the queen!
yearsinhotclaws
+3 -0
Quote:
I wanted to find one of the pages from From Hell where Jack the Ripper is walking around London, pontificating on its various secret histories in some sort of manifesto on why he is about to kill a bunch of prostitutes but I couldn't find it.
Have this in its stead:
[IMGS OFF]
Quote:
Also, it's beautiful country and great history (which most locals know, unlike my unfortunate home country).
I wanted to find one of the pages from From Hell where Jack the Ripper is walking around London, pontificating on its various secret histories in some sort of manifesto on why he is about to kill a bunch of prostitutes but I couldn't find it.
Have this in its stead:
[IMGS OFF]
hedonismbot
+1 -0
This is, uh. Hmmm. Let's see here, baby... eating...
what
This is, uh. Hmmm. Let's see here, baby... eating...
what
aaronherget
+0 -0
I can't even begin to express how happy seeing Gaiman's work makes me.
I can't even begin to express how happy seeing Gaiman's work makes me.
woodjay
+0 -0
Aw man, I never want to say whether I love achewood or sandman more.
Aw man, I never want to say whether I love achewood or sandman more.
woodjay
+0 -0
This was "Death: the time of your life"? or "the high cost of living"? It's been so long since i've read them.
This was "Death: the time of your life"? or "the high cost of living"? It's been so long since i've read them.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Here's the thing, I've never actually read the comic, this image showed up one day on the LJRIG forum on Portal of Evil and I've been meaning to see if it was any good since then. I couldn't find this pic again on google, no matter how many variations of the words "zombie" "baby" and "cannibal" I used so I finally found a torrent with the entire comic inside.
I'm reading the comic now and its pretty good so far.
And to finally answer your question, the only thing I know is the trade paperback volume is called "A Game of You."
Here's the thing, I've never actually read the comic, this image showed up one day on the LJRIG forum on Portal of Evil and I've been meaning to see if it was any good since then. I couldn't find this pic again on google, no matter how many variations of the words "zombie" "baby" and "cannibal" I used so I finally found a torrent with the entire comic inside.
I'm reading the comic now and its pretty good so far.
And to finally answer your question, the only thing I know is the trade paperback volume is called "A Game of You."
woodjay
+0 -0
oh, awesome, I didn't recall it being from the sandman core series, if you're liking it I can't recommend the rest of the series hard enough. It is nice that mostly the individual volumes can stand on their own, but when you see the whole thing unfold it is a thing of beauty.
I'd wager your local library has it in stock, I also have some of the scans if that's what you're into.
oh, awesome, I didn't recall it being from the sandman core series, if you're liking it I can't recommend the rest of the series hard enough. It is nice that mostly the individual volumes can stand on their own, but when you see the whole thing unfold it is a thing of beauty.
I'd wager your local library has it in stock, I also have some of the scans if that's what you're into.
lawbot
+0 -0
You should do the tour done in From Hell. Those are still some good sites.
You should do the tour done in From Hell. Those are still some good sites.
bluntreynolds
+0 -0
this wouldnt happen if she had a better haircut
this wouldnt happen if she had a better haircut
loneal
+2 -0
It is the most delicious food possible. That is all you need to know.
It is the most delicious food possible. That is all you need to know.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Man, Banoffee pie is damn good and I haven't had it in actual years. What is that all about.
Man, Banoffee pie is damn good and I haven't had it in actual years. What is that all about.
girdag
+0 -0
Oh god yes. Instant chubby for loving the best damn pudding ever. They used to do it at my school, it was a glorious day when a slice of banoffee pie replaced the usual bland stodgy fare covered in custard.
Oh god yes. Instant chubby for loving the best damn pudding ever. They used to do it at my school, it was a glorious day when a slice of banoffee pie replaced the usual bland stodgy fare covered in custard.
irien
+0 -0
The placement of loneal's comment and the comic made me do a double-take. Hurrah for split sequiturs!
The placement of loneal's comment and the comic made me do a double-take. Hurrah for split sequiturs!
odei
+0 -0
Unfortunately I think mailing food is frowned upon, and generally a bad idea. Oh well. But I'm glad the pasta was enjoyed!
Unfortunately I think mailing food is frowned upon, and generally a bad idea. Oh well. But I'm glad the pasta was enjoyed!
lawbot
+1 -0
Based on this, you're basically autistic.
Based on this, you're basically autistic.
reddwarf
+1 -0
Different people's brains are wired differently, so it stands to reason that people will have different senses of taste. Same with music. Some people enjoy music that is to other people really weird. We should not judge people on something like that. Sorry for preaching, I'm just saying.
Different people's brains are wired differently, so it stands to reason that people will have different senses of taste. Same with music. Some people enjoy music that is to other people really weird. We should not judge people on something like that. Sorry for preaching, I'm just saying.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Since I am inexplicably unable to chubby you, this irrelevant reply must stand in said chubby's place.
Since I am inexplicably unable to chubby you, this irrelevant reply must stand in said chubby's place.
techiebabe
+0 -0
Chubbied because you're a fellow fan of the small rouge one.
Chubbied because you're a fellow fan of the small rouge one.
edwell
+2 -0
reddwarf continued to believe that all tastes were equally above judgment, until she met someone who lay on his bunk reading "What Bike?" and eating sugar puff sandwiches for eight hours every day.
reddwarf continued to believe that all tastes were equally above judgment, until she met someone who lay on his bunk reading "What Bike?" and eating sugar puff sandwiches for eight hours every day.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
It is a good day when you realize that not all tastes are acceptable. It is a day of learning.
It is a good day when you realize that not all tastes are acceptable. It is a day of learning.
irondave
+0 -0
Loneal, there was a Budweiser commercial about you!
"I like ... pilaf."
Loneal, there was a Budweiser commercial about you!
"I like ... pilaf."
loneal
+0 -0
I have never seen that commercial, but I wager that it is making fun of women who go on dates and order, like, a glass of water and a stick of celery. I would like to specify that I am not one of those women. My choices of food are bizarre but they tend toward fried things and chocolate, and I make it a point not to count calories.
I have never seen that commercial, but I wager that it is making fun of women who go on dates and order, like, a glass of water and a stick of celery. I would like to specify that I am not one of those women. My choices of food are bizarre but they tend toward fried things and chocolate, and I make it a point not to count calories.
irondave
+0 -0
It is more playing for laughs the contrast between the man's decision making (porterhouse and baked potato with everything ordered in 5.6 seconds of conversation with the waiter) and the woman's non-decision-making. (She does not know what she wants.)
It is more playing for laughs the contrast between the man's decision making (porterhouse and baked potato with everything ordered in 5.6 seconds of conversation with the waiter) and the woman's non-decision-making. (She does not know what she wants.)
daidai
+0 -0
My friends all insult my taste in pizza topping combinations. I guess I'm the only one who doesn't mind mixing white meat, dark meat, fish, and veggies into my single slice of happiness.
Come back to me, my chicken sausage mushroom broccoli anchovi pizza. I long for you.
My friends all insult my taste in pizza topping combinations. I guess I'm the only one who doesn't mind mixing white meat, dark meat, fish, and veggies into my single slice of happiness.
Come back to me, my chicken sausage mushroom broccoli anchovi pizza. I long for you.
quantumcasaba
+1 -0
I get hell for gruzzling pineapple pizza. I would hope that I am not alone.
I get hell for gruzzling pineapple pizza. I would hope that I am not alone.
girlandagun
+0 -0
Bacon and jalapeno pizza.
Just like in Julie & Julia.
Bacon and jalapeno pizza.
Just like in Julie & Julia.
kamet
+0 -0
Pineapple canadian bacon, and BBQ sauce.. MMMM.
Pineapple canadian bacon, and BBQ sauce.. MMMM.
stereo
+0 -0
As long as it doesn't have any sugary fruits (see: pineapple) I will eat pretty much any pizza. I've actually had a chicken sausage sausage*** salmon anchovie mushroom green peppers pizza, and it was delicious.
*** the one sausage was sliced like pepperoni and spicy, the other sausage is small bits of ground sausage meat and more of a savoury sausage.
As long as it doesn't have any sugary fruits (see: pineapple) I will eat pretty much any pizza. I've actually had a chicken sausage sausage*** salmon anchovie mushroom green peppers pizza, and it was delicious.
*** the one sausage was sliced like pepperoni and spicy, the other sausage is small bits of ground sausage meat and more of a savoury sausage.
woodjay
+0 -0
was the sliced one Linguica by chance?
was the sliced one Linguica by chance?
juanclaudius
+2 -0
dang dogg i feel lucky to have friends who not only support the idea of bbq sauce and bacon (strips, not canadian) pizzas but are willing to go the extra mile and throw some funfetti on their slices. maybe not the most hardcore topping combination in this conversation, but damn is it tasty...next week we're trying out some flank steak, and chipotle.
we are all artists; our canvas is circular and covered in mozzarella.
dang dogg i feel lucky to have friends who not only support the idea of bbq sauce and bacon (strips, not canadian) pizzas but are willing to go the extra mile and throw some funfetti on their slices. maybe not the most hardcore topping combination in this conversation, but damn is it tasty...next week we're trying out some flank steak, and chipotle.
we are all artists; our canvas is circular and covered in mozzarella.
irondave
+0 -0
A really good pizza is canadian bacon and sauerkraut. There, I said it. SAUERKRAUT ON PIZZA. Lame me if you must, I don't care. It's real good.
A really good pizza is canadian bacon and sauerkraut. There, I said it. SAUERKRAUT ON PIZZA. Lame me if you must, I don't care. It's real good.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I will not lame you. I will merely recoil in disgust.
I will not lame you. I will merely recoil in disgust.
perilon
+8 -0
Pilaf? Ketchup that bitch.
Pilaf? Ketchup that bitch.
dickie_roxx
+0 -0
Not to sound like an aged hag, but could your food preferences possibly have anything to do with your being still almost a teen? I grew up thinking plain noodles with butter was gour-may eatin'. (Cf. "U.S. White Girl* Disease", aided by a home diet of basically potatoes and peanut butter sandwiches.) In my early 20s, I adventured into more exotic cultinary territory and discovered that the pleasure of eating outweighed my longstanding preference for monochrome untextured foods.
*Except I am sure it is not merely a girl thing. Some girls have a lot food-related hang-ups, yes. But some boys can be the pickiest eaters you ever saw. My roommate's boyfriend, who won't wat anything that isn't flavored by a lab in New Jeresy, is a great example. Think of all the dudes you know who will choose Cheez Doodles over smoked gouda. Vittles bitch, indeed.
Not to sound like an aged hag, but could your food preferences possibly have anything to do with your being still almost a teen? I grew up thinking plain noodles with butter was gour-may eatin'. (Cf. "U.S. White Girl* Disease", aided by a home diet of basically potatoes and peanut butter sandwiches.) In my early 20s, I adventured into more exotic cultinary territory and discovered that the pleasure of eating outweighed my longstanding preference for monochrome untextured foods.
*Except I am sure it is not merely a girl thing. Some girls have a lot food-related hang-ups, yes. But some boys can be the pickiest eaters you ever saw. My roommate's boyfriend, who won't wat anything that isn't flavored by a lab in New Jeresy, is a great example. Think of all the dudes you know who will choose Cheez Doodles over smoked gouda. Vittles bitch, indeed.
woodjay
+0 -0
My brother would rather eat an oscar meyer with a "blue box" mac&cheese than a sirloin with asparagus and slivered almonds. And used to have a dude roommate who basically subsisted on ramen and totino's pizza not because it was cheap, but because they were his favorite foods and were joyfully free of vegetables. I have known way more finicky people who posses a Y chromosome than those without.
My brother would rather eat an oscar meyer with a "blue box" mac&cheese than a sirloin with asparagus and slivered almonds. And used to have a dude roommate who basically subsisted on ramen and totino's pizza not because it was cheap, but because they were his favorite foods and were joyfully free of vegetables. I have known way more finicky people who posses a Y chromosome than those without.
margargaret
+0 -0
Uh...totino's and ramen? Was this roommate my brother? He's gotten much better in recent years though. Now he also drink protein shakes.
Uh...totino's and ramen? Was this roommate my brother? He's gotten much better in recent years though. Now he also drink protein shakes.
loneal
+0 -0
Oh, almost certainly. I have a singularly unrefined palate, which, like a small child's, only likes very sweet or very salty things. I want to fix this, though! I am working on conquering alcohol right now, and my next goal is coffee. So far I can drink alcohol if it is mixed with a lot of soda or juice. Beer and wine remain anathema.
Oh, almost certainly. I have a singularly unrefined palate, which, like a small child's, only likes very sweet or very salty things. I want to fix this, though! I am working on conquering alcohol right now, and my next goal is coffee. So far I can drink alcohol if it is mixed with a lot of soda or juice. Beer and wine remain anathema.
woodjay
+0 -0
Working your way into ciders such as strongbow or woodchuck may be a good next step. somewhere between a juice, white wine, and a beer
Working your way into ciders such as strongbow or woodchuck may be a good next step. somewhere between a juice, white wine, and a beer
lawbot
+0 -0
I'd recommend some nice fruit-and-wheat beers, or even blueberry lager (some american brew). For some reason most fruit beers in america are lambics. I am not a fan of lambic.
I'd recommend some nice fruit-and-wheat beers, or even blueberry lager (some american brew). For some reason most fruit beers in america are lambics. I am not a fan of lambic.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I've had a pumpkin ale that was pretty darn good. That doesn't count as a fruit though. I've had Lindeman's cherry (kriek) lambic a couple of times and enjoyed it well enough. I didn't used to like the taste of alcohol/beer/wine at all in my tender years, and I agree with Woodjay that ciders can be a good transitory step. I like the Ace ciders , especially the pear, and they're pretty widely available. Happy drinking, Loneal! L'Chaim!
I've had a pumpkin ale that was pretty darn good. That doesn't count as a fruit though. I've had Lindeman's cherry (kriek) lambic a couple of times and enjoyed it well enough. I didn't used to like the taste of alcohol/beer/wine at all in my tender years, and I agree with Woodjay that ciders can be a good transitory step. I like the Ace ciders , especially the pear, and they're pretty widely available. Happy drinking, Loneal! L'Chaim!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If you ever decide to go the wine route, don't feel bad if you start on sweet wines. People like me will look down on you, but people like me are assholes. If you need a sweet champagne or muscat to get into wine, it's worth it as long as you don't stay there your whole life.
If you ever decide to go the wine route, don't feel bad if you start on sweet wines. People like me will look down on you, but people like me are assholes. If you need a sweet champagne or muscat to get into wine, it's worth it as long as you don't stay there your whole life.
hamscout
+0 -0
Yes-a nice riesling can be a gateway wine...
Do you get Mamertino on the coast? Good cheap white sparkling wine-good with crappy pasta or shameful pizza.
Yes-a nice riesling can be a gateway wine...
Do you get Mamertino on the coast? Good cheap white sparkling wine-good with crappy pasta or shameful pizza.
senseihollywood
+0 -0
I like Gewurztraminer even better than Reisling. Same idea, more flavor. Not bad with sushi either.
I like Gewurztraminer even better than Reisling. Same idea, more flavor. Not bad with sushi either.
girlandagun
+0 -0
I think sweet wines are cloying and you don't want to be somebody who goes around ordering awkwardly long bottles of riesling for the rest of your life.
Maybe a mulled wine to start? Or for liquors, hot toddies? You know, the sweet evened out by the spices and a little sour lemon kick.
Another favorite of mine was salty dogs. Mmm. Now it is time for bed and I want to stay up and drink.
Otherwise, I think there are lots of very salty or very sweet foods that can be good gateways into more complex flavors. Let's come up with some. Like a reading list, only, you know, eats.
I think sweet wines are cloying and you don't want to be somebody who goes around ordering awkwardly long bottles of riesling for the rest of your life.
Maybe a mulled wine to start? Or for liquors, hot toddies? You know, the sweet evened out by the spices and a little sour lemon kick.
Another favorite of mine was salty dogs. Mmm. Now it is time for bed and I want to stay up and drink.
Otherwise, I think there are lots of very salty or very sweet foods that can be good gateways into more complex flavors. Let's come up with some. Like a reading list, only, you know, eats.
hamscout
+0 -0
As I explored expensive fish dishes at the country club I've been working at, I was amazed to discover that although I'm not a huge fan of fruit, I had the screaming thigh sweats for sauteed fish that is prepared with a fruit-based salsa (mango, pineapple, kiwi).
Slightly salty fish with sweet fruity topping. It's the hoity-toity version of a salted nut roll...
As I explored expensive fish dishes at the country club I've been working at, I was amazed to discover that although I'm not a huge fan of fruit, I had the screaming thigh sweats for sauteed fish that is prepared with a fruit-based salsa (mango, pineapple, kiwi).
Slightly salty fish with sweet fruity topping. It's the hoity-toity version of a salted nut roll...
woodjay
+0 -0
Last year I had this Fried yellowtail snapper with mango salsa, and the kicker? it was breaded in coconut, quite a lot of win.
Last year I had this Fried yellowtail snapper with mango salsa, and the kicker? it was breaded in coconut, quite a lot of win.
girlandagun
+3 -0
That sounds fabulous.
These are the reasons I am envious of rich people:
-delicious, unusual foods
-regular vacation travel
-eccentricity takes the place of craziness
-their tshirts are softer. seriously. have you ever held a $120 tshirt? It feels like a flat, ironed kitten. It is amazing.
Mmmm, fruit salsa and sweet salty fish.
That sounds fabulous.
These are the reasons I am envious of rich people:
-delicious, unusual foods
-regular vacation travel
-eccentricity takes the place of craziness
-their tshirts are softer. seriously. have you ever held a $120 tshirt? It feels like a flat, ironed kitten. It is amazing.
Mmmm, fruit salsa and sweet salty fish.
daidai
+0 -0
I'm not exactly rich, but as a birthday present my mom took me to La Bernardin in New York.
Best food I've ever eaten. Maybe the best gift I've ever gotten.
Mmm. Baby Octopus.
and a Kobe Beef and Tuna Surf and Turf...and the sorbet...
God damn I wish it was my birthday.
I'm not exactly rich, but as a birthday present my mom took me to La Bernardin in New York.
Best food I've ever eaten. Maybe the best gift I've ever gotten.
Mmm. Baby Octopus.
and a Kobe Beef and Tuna Surf and Turf...and the sorbet...
God damn I wish it was my birthday.
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
I am eating out of a box of Cheerios.
I am eating out of a box of Cheerios.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
that's okay, as long as your eating a pan seared Muscovy duck breast, fanned over a blend of wild rice with a port wine sauce out of a Cheerios box.
that's okay, as long as your eating a pan seared Muscovy duck breast, fanned over a blend of wild rice with a port wine sauce out of a Cheerios box.
woodjay
+0 -0
The Muscovy is one ugly ass duck, that's all I wanted to say.
The Muscovy is one ugly ass duck, that's all I wanted to say.
fineoakstructure
+0 -0
I have absolutely no memory of making this comment, and no idea where I got this food idea from.
I have absolutely no memory of making this comment, and no idea where I got this food idea from.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm also not rich (false: I am pretty rich. Woohoo Wall St.) I will add my bragging quality meal to daidadi's. per se. That's right, no capitals, as it's meant. It took almost four hours and more money than I am comfortable writing online, but per se. Everyone who isn't wealthy needs to get right on that, because top end fine food isn't all molecular maggot dicks and such.
girlandagun, you may touch my soft clothing if you like, but maintain a deferent posture while doing it (I am in clothing that costs a total of 8 dollars.)
I'm also not rich (false: I am pretty rich. Woohoo Wall St.) I will add my bragging quality meal to daidadi's. per se. That's right, no capitals, as it's meant. It took almost four hours and more money than I am comfortable writing online, but per se. Everyone who isn't wealthy needs to get right on that, because top end fine food isn't all molecular maggot dicks and such.
girlandagun, you may touch my soft clothing if you like, but maintain a deferent posture while doing it (I am in clothing that costs a total of 8 dollars.)
margargaret
+0 -0
Wow, you buy some pretty expensive underwear.
Wow, you buy some pretty expensive underwear.
hedonismbot
+4 -0
Oh these aren't mine
Oh these aren't mine
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
You can touch hedonismbot's shirt but don't make eye contact.
You can touch hedonismbot's shirt but don't make eye contact.
lawbot
+0 -0
About $200 per head I believe. Plus, possibly bribes, possibly soft commissions if restaurant bookings can be used in that way.
About $200 per head I believe. Plus, possibly bribes, possibly soft commissions if restaurant bookings can be used in that way.
cromar
+0 -0
Wear $120 shirts for $4-$20 a piece. Ask me how!
Wear $120 shirts for $4-$20 a piece. Ask me how!
tekende
+0 -0
How???
How???
cromar
+0 -0
Oh... uh. Well, you just go to the end of the end of season sales... hit up a few malls and factory outlets and you can buy new Polo shirts for $4 for next season (75% off of 75% off).
Oh... uh. Well, you just go to the end of the end of season sales... hit up a few malls and factory outlets and you can buy new Polo shirts for $4 for next season (75% off of 75% off).
pogo
+0 -0
You ain't buy no Pogo shirts for so cheap! Oh, never mind.
You ain't buy no Pogo shirts for so cheap! Oh, never mind.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
hee hee
hee hee
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
The Screaming Thigh Sweats -- band name?
The Screaming Thigh Sweats -- band name?
hamscout
+0 -0
It should be!
And now, opening for the "Screaming Thigh Sweats"...
...the Screaming Cheetah Wheelies!
It should be!
And now, opening for the "Screaming Thigh Sweats"...
...the Screaming Cheetah Wheelies!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Sweet wines are nasty, but I've sent many non-wine people along that road and they eventually end up sipping Cab and looking down their noses at sweet wine within a few years. It's a good gateway, but I've known very few people who get stuck in the door with it. Your lambic recommendation below is really good too, I've seen people swear by that as a first-timer drink.
Sweet wines are nasty, but I've sent many non-wine people along that road and they eventually end up sipping Cab and looking down their noses at sweet wine within a few years. It's a good gateway, but I've known very few people who get stuck in the door with it. Your lambic recommendation below is really good too, I've seen people swear by that as a first-timer drink.
lawbot
+0 -0
Yeah, I would recommend fruited wheat beer or lager rather than lambic. Lambic has a pretty odd taste.
Also, it depends how sweet you're talking as far as the wines. A sweet riesling can be very nice in the right circumstances (when it is very hot, the wine is either not very cold or very very cold, and the wine is unusually good) but that is rare.
Yeah, I would recommend fruited wheat beer or lager rather than lambic. Lambic has a pretty odd taste.
Also, it depends how sweet you're talking as far as the wines. A sweet riesling can be very nice in the right circumstances (when it is very hot, the wine is either not very cold or very very cold, and the wine is unusually good) but that is rare.
lawbot
+0 -0
There isn't really much alcohol in mulled wine. Hella different flavour, yo.
There isn't really much alcohol in mulled wine. Hella different flavour, yo.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Mmmmm...hot toddies are nice in the winter, when it's all cold out and you have a nice hot cup to warm your little mits. Also nice if you have a scratchy throat.
Mmmmm...hot toddies are nice in the winter, when it's all cold out and you have a nice hot cup to warm your little mits. Also nice if you have a scratchy throat.
igotnostrings
+1 -0
You know, I've been trying for several years to get into wines, just so I can look more culture at dinners, and I just can't. Even "sweet" wines taste so acrid after the first sip or two. I've sort of given up on enjoying wine and am working on drinking it without making a "WTF!" face afterwards. That's real class there.
You know, I've been trying for several years to get into wines, just so I can look more culture at dinners, and I just can't. Even "sweet" wines taste so acrid after the first sip or two. I've sort of given up on enjoying wine and am working on drinking it without making a "WTF!" face afterwards. That's real class there.
margargaret
+0 -0
You could be a supertaster.
You could be a supertaster.
bixschmix
+0 -0
I'm one of those! I remember being 10 and doing that home experiment where you put blue food coloring on your tongue. Did... did anybody else do that?
I'm one of those! I remember being 10 and doing that home experiment where you put blue food coloring on your tongue. Did... did anybody else do that?
woodjay
+0 -0
the colors duke! THE COLORS!
the colors duke! THE COLORS!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Those commercials rocked so hard.
Those commercials rocked so hard.
loneal
+0 -0
I'm color blind, kid.
I'm color blind, kid.
woodjay
+0 -0
I thank you for the follow-up there
I thank you for the follow-up there
howl
+0 -0
I did! It tasted awful and my tongue and teeth were blue for the next three days.
I did! It tasted awful and my tongue and teeth were blue for the next three days.
margargaret
+0 -0
The first wine that I enjoyed was a muscat. I have never ever had a good Reisling. Eugh.
The first wine that I enjoyed was a muscat. I have never ever had a good Reisling. Eugh.
pogo
+0 -0
Well, that's that. No Reisling, no Pogo. You can put my stuff out on the porch. I just wish I had known this before my feelings got involved. Oh, and keep the corkscrew.
Well, that's that. No Reisling, no Pogo. You can put my stuff out on the porch. I just wish I had known this before my feelings got involved. Oh, and keep the corkscrew.
margargaret
+0 -0
Oh thank god.
Oh thank god.
girlandagun
+0 -0
You are charming.
If it's not too weird an experiment for you, would you mind if I gave you some suggestions? Good gateway foods? I feel like I came from a similar place.
If that's acceptable, my first suggestion would be the Framboise Lambic, a raspberry beer that does not taste anything like beer. It has no traces of bitterness, or hops, or anything else that makes a beer a beer. It's fizzy like champagne, and sweet, and tastes just like fresh crushed raspberries in a glass of very sweet champagne. Nothing about it suggests alcoholic content except from the label.
Also, you get to drink it out of a champagne flute, if you want, which is always fun.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framboise
You are charming.
If it's not too weird an experiment for you, would you mind if I gave you some suggestions? Good gateway foods? I feel like I came from a similar place.
If that's acceptable, my first suggestion would be the Framboise Lambic, a raspberry beer that does not taste anything like beer. It has no traces of bitterness, or hops, or anything else that makes a beer a beer. It's fizzy like champagne, and sweet, and tastes just like fresh crushed raspberries in a glass of very sweet champagne. Nothing about it suggests alcoholic content except from the label.
Also, you get to drink it out of a champagne flute, if you want, which is always fun.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Framboise
hamscout
+0 -0
Other drink suggestions:
Kir Royale - Champagne (alternately, white wine) with Creme de Cassis (black currant liquor)
Leinenkugels Sunset Wheat beer - Tastes like freaking Fruit Loops, if you'll believe that! (Also, Berry Weiss)
Other drink suggestions:
Kir Royale - Champagne (alternately, white wine) with Creme de Cassis (black currant liquor)
Leinenkugels Sunset Wheat beer - Tastes like freaking Fruit Loops, if you'll believe that! (Also, Berry Weiss)
loneal
+0 -0
Ooh, I love raspberry drinks. I will be sure to buy some of that next time I turn 21.
Ooh, I love raspberry drinks. I will be sure to buy some of that next time I turn 21.
starla
+0 -0
Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat gets a huge freakin' second from me. I love that stuff.
Others in the Hefeweizen/Belgian White category that you might like if you like Leinenkugel are Blue Moon Belgian White, or Sam Adams Summer Ale, or UFO Raspberry Hefeweizen (serve all of these with a slice of lemon, except the Blue Moon which should be served with orange). If you can get them where you live, Magic Hat's Circus Boy, Hocus Pocus or Single Chair Ale might also be beers you'd enjoy. Allagash White is also tasty.
If you can get your hands on some Smuttynose Hanami Ale, do it; it's not anything like the other beers I just mentioned but it tastes like cherries! If you like blueberries, Maine's Seadog Blueberry is good. Also Long Trail makes a good Blackbeary Wheat.
Whew!
I do love me some fruity beer.
Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat gets a huge freakin' second from me. I love that stuff.
Others in the Hefeweizen/Belgian White category that you might like if you like Leinenkugel are Blue Moon Belgian White, or Sam Adams Summer Ale, or UFO Raspberry Hefeweizen (serve all of these with a slice of lemon, except the Blue Moon which should be served with orange). If you can get them where you live, Magic Hat's Circus Boy, Hocus Pocus or Single Chair Ale might also be beers you'd enjoy. Allagash White is also tasty.
If you can get your hands on some Smuttynose Hanami Ale, do it; it's not anything like the other beers I just mentioned but it tastes like cherries! If you like blueberries, Maine's Seadog Blueberry is good. Also Long Trail makes a good Blackbeary Wheat.
Whew!
I do love me some fruity beer.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Franzikaaner Hefewizen (that is probably misspelled) is a really amazing wheat beer which I love.
Franzikaaner Hefewizen (that is probably misspelled) is a really amazing wheat beer which I love.
margargaret
+0 -0
YES! It is my favorite.
I tell everyone that it has an odd bubble-gummy (in a good way) taste, and no one believes me.
YES! It is my favorite.
I tell everyone that it has an odd bubble-gummy (in a good way) taste, and no one believes me.
perilon
+0 -0
By the way, if you're ever looking for odd bubble-gummy (in a bad way) taste, look no further than jackfruit.
I would never drink a beer made out of jackfruit. My body would not let me. I'm just sayin', is all.
By the way, if you're ever looking for odd bubble-gummy (in a bad way) taste, look no further than jackfruit.
I would never drink a beer made out of jackfruit. My body would not let me. I'm just sayin', is all.
lawbot
+0 -0
Franziskaner. I have never seen the word "hefeweizen" on their labelling, but then I've never seen it in America.
Franziskaner. I have never seen the word "hefeweizen" on their labelling, but then I've never seen it in America.
margargaret
+0 -0
Pyramid Apricot Hefewiezen is the most widely available fruity beer that I know of. At least here it is. Also, Abita Purple Haze.
Pyramid Apricot Hefewiezen is the most widely available fruity beer that I know of. At least here it is. Also, Abita Purple Haze.
flazisismuss
+0 -0
I bought shitloads of this when I was a kid. I remember going to the BevMo in Oakland with about 8 bottles of the Lindeman's framboise. Cute checkout girl asks if I'm throwing a party, and mentions how much she liked the stuff, which in retrospect was probably a great intro line, but I totally missed it. Still, 8 bottles of beer was a good consolation. Tasty!
I bought shitloads of this when I was a kid. I remember going to the BevMo in Oakland with about 8 bottles of the Lindeman's framboise. Cute checkout girl asks if I'm throwing a party, and mentions how much she liked the stuff, which in retrospect was probably a great intro line, but I totally missed it. Still, 8 bottles of beer was a good consolation. Tasty!
lawbot
+0 -0
Get a job that involves drinking on tax-payer's money, with people who like wine. You may not be surprised at the result.
Get a job that involves drinking on tax-payer's money, with people who like wine. You may not be surprised at the result.
plummet
+2 -2
>.....My roommate's boyfriend, who won't wat anything that isn't flavored by a lab in New Jeresy, is a great example.
wat
>.....My roommate's boyfriend, who won't wat anything that isn't flavored by a lab in New Jeresy, is a great example.
wat
edwell
+4 -0
Speak 'wat' again! Thou cur, cry 'wat' again!
I dare thee utter 'wat' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
Speak 'wat' again! Thou cur, cry 'wat' again!
I dare thee utter 'wat' again but once!
I dare thee twice and spit upon thy name!
plummet
+0 -0
Fine.
WAT
Fine.
WAT
hbaranov
+0 -0
Chubbied for
1) reference
2) Edwell
3) Edwell
4) Avatar
5) Edwell
Chubbied for
1) reference
2) Edwell
3) Edwell
4) Avatar
5) Edwell
heccibiggs
+1 -0
Christ, don't rub your penis against him.
Christ, don't rub your penis against him.
loneal
+1 -0
Don't listen to her, hbaranov, you rub your penis wherever you want!
Don't listen to her, hbaranov, you rub your penis wherever you want!
hamscout
+1 -0
Hey everybody! Two chicks are havin' a dick fight!
*Knocks over chair*
*watches patiently*
Hey everybody! Two chicks are havin' a dick fight!
*Knocks over chair*
*watches patiently*
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
DICK FIIIGHT!!
*Everyone starts throwing dicks.
DICK FIIIGHT!!
*Everyone starts throwing dicks.
pogo
+0 -0
I'm tossing my log in.
I'm tossing my log in.
hedonismbot
+5 -0
"... and my ass!"
"... and my ass!"
hbaranov
+0 -0
Implications... staggering... must resist.. penis rubbing... rampage...
Implications... staggering... must resist.. penis rubbing... rampage...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It's cool, he don't ejaculate none.
It's cool, he don't ejaculate none.
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
but the best foods are mixed flavors. bacon and syrup. eggs and hot sauce. sticks of butter covered in sugar...i call them sin sticks
but the best foods are mixed flavors. bacon and syrup. eggs and hot sauce. sticks of butter covered in sugar...i call them sin sticks
darleen
+0 -0
So many times I've gone to bake something and it's said; "Add butter and sugar." Then nothing gets baked and I have another heart attack.
So many times I've gone to bake something and it's said; "Add butter and sugar." Then nothing gets baked and I have another heart attack.
woodjay
+0 -0
Butter is nothing to be afraid of, it is good honest food.
Butter is nothing to be afraid of, it is good honest food.
girlandagun
+0 -0
Oh no! But then you don't get any baked treats!
I would rather just eat a chocolate croissant in the morning and nothing else all day than never eat chocolate croissant. But I am a sicko.
Oh no! But then you don't get any baked treats!
I would rather just eat a chocolate croissant in the morning and nothing else all day than never eat chocolate croissant. But I am a sicko.
mortshire
+0 -0
Pain au chocolat is truly the most blessed of foods.
Pain au chocolat is truly the most blessed of foods.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Argh what the fuck is up with that Maerican thing of pouring syrup over an entire fried breakfast. Pancakes, yes. Waffles, totally. French toast, not for me but sure I can accept that. But bacon and sausage and eggs? WHAT?
Don't any of you yanks ever tell me that the British are bizarre and kooky and weird until you stop being insane with your syrup useage.
Argh what the fuck is up with that Maerican thing of pouring syrup over an entire fried breakfast. Pancakes, yes. Waffles, totally. French toast, not for me but sure I can accept that. But bacon and sausage and eggs? WHAT?
Don't any of you yanks ever tell me that the British are bizarre and kooky and weird until you stop being insane with your syrup useage.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Whoa, "Maerican"? I just invented a rad new mythical nationality.
I meant American, obvs.
Whoa, "Maerican"? I just invented a rad new mythical nationality.
I meant American, obvs.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
They've got a lot of trees I suppose.
got to do something with all the goddamn syrup.
They've got a lot of trees I suppose.
got to do something with all the goddamn syrup.
hamscout
+0 -0
I thought 'Maerican' was you trying to reproduce how a redneck might say this.
...or one of the characters from 'Team America-World Police'...
'Maerica...FUCK YEAH!
I thought 'Maerican' was you trying to reproduce how a redneck might say this.
...or one of the characters from 'Team America-World Police'...
'Maerica...FUCK YEAH!
pogo
+0 -0
Another variation is "Merkin."
Another variation is "Merkin."
kickstart
+0 -0
...which gets dragged through the breakfast eggs!
will the circle, be unbroken?
...which gets dragged through the breakfast eggs!
will the circle, be unbroken?
capnb0b
+0 -0
I'm glad you pointed this out because I thought you said Mexican, and I was going to start talking about Mexico.
I'm glad you pointed this out because I thought you said Mexican, and I was going to start talking about Mexico.
phy
+0 -0
The people of the Democratic People's Republic of Maerica are charming and friendly, with a few notable eccentricities, like their propensity to pour sugared syrup on any breakfast food, their abhorrence of any and all metal currency, and their soul-crushing bureacratic socialist governors.
(Seriously why the fuck do hideous dictatorships even try the whole "no seriously guys we're totally democratic" naming scheme? You're not fooling anyone. You're like that one asshole wolf who heard about the "wolf in sheep's clothing" thing and tried wearing a dead half-a-lamb as a hat.)
The people of the Democratic People's Republic of Maerica are charming and friendly, with a few notable eccentricities, like their propensity to pour sugared syrup on any breakfast food, their abhorrence of any and all metal currency, and their soul-crushing bureacratic socialist governors.
(Seriously why the fuck do hideous dictatorships even try the whole "no seriously guys we're totally democratic" naming scheme? You're not fooling anyone. You're like that one asshole wolf who heard about the "wolf in sheep's clothing" thing and tried wearing a dead half-a-lamb as a hat.)
mortshire
+0 -0
Aww, I'm only averse to metal currency because I have Nickel contact dermatitis! My hands swell up and get all blotchy-looking if I handle the stuff for too long. :(
Aww, I'm only averse to metal currency because I have Nickel contact dermatitis! My hands swell up and get all blotchy-looking if I handle the stuff for too long. :(
kamet
+0 -0
Mmm.. nothing better than bacon with syrup. Fortunately I don't really count as an American. Or, ya know, a Maerican.
Mmm.. nothing better than bacon with syrup. Fortunately I don't really count as an American. Or, ya know, a Maerican.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
You aren't Maerkin? Aren't you in Kansas? That's as statesy as it gets...
Also, Hecci, I'm with you. Syrup is a sweet thing. I can see a tiny glaze on bacon before baking it, but slathering that shit all over savory foods is criminal. People, a Brit has pointed out a dumbass thing in our eating. We need to fix this.
You aren't Maerkin? Aren't you in Kansas? That's as statesy as it gets...
Also, Hecci, I'm with you. Syrup is a sweet thing. I can see a tiny glaze on bacon before baking it, but slathering that shit all over savory foods is criminal. People, a Brit has pointed out a dumbass thing in our eating. We need to fix this.
kamet
+0 -0
I'm an import. And it's funny, "Maerkin" is exactly as "American" is pronounced in my state...
I'm an import. And it's funny, "Maerkin" is exactly as "American" is pronounced in my state...
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I'm just south of your state, and I love the term. I am actually surprised it was a misspelling. It is exactly as our president pronounces it. Also, I've got my eye on you, terr'ist .
I'm just south of your state, and I love the term. I am actually surprised it was a misspelling. It is exactly as our president pronounces it. Also, I've got my eye on you, terr'ist .
echidnaboy
+1 -0
Merca's the finest country in the whole wurl, even better than Yurp cuz we got the Mercan constitution cuz we love freeman moxy, not like fananimalist fnadics and terrsts who hate freeman moxy and love terrr
Merca's the finest country in the whole wurl, even better than Yurp cuz we got the Mercan constitution cuz we love freeman moxy, not like fananimalist fnadics and terrsts who hate freeman moxy and love terrr
rene
+0 -0
There is something better! In Portland, there is a donut shop where you can get a donut with maple syrup glaze and real bacon on top. It is glorious!!
There is something better! In Portland, there is a donut shop where you can get a donut with maple syrup glaze and real bacon on top. It is glorious!!
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
That's it, I'm going to Portland. I would nom the hell out of that.
That's it, I'm going to Portland. I would nom the hell out of that.
rene
+0 -0
The place is called Voodoo Donuts, their signature piece is a person-shaped donut that is filled with raspberry filling. It comes with a little pretzel stick so you can poke it. Also, they are open 24/7 and you can get married there if you want.
The place is called Voodoo Donuts, their signature piece is a person-shaped donut that is filled with raspberry filling. It comes with a little pretzel stick so you can poke it. Also, they are open 24/7 and you can get married there if you want.
bixschmix
+0 -0
There is a AAA minor league baseball team somewhere in the country-- I forget which one, though I'm sure Google would tell me if I cared enough-- which serves a double bacon cheeseburger.
On a Krispy Kreme bun. The entire burger was somewhere around 1700 calories.
There is a AAA minor league baseball team somewhere in the country-- I forget which one, though I'm sure Google would tell me if I cared enough-- which serves a double bacon cheeseburger.
On a Krispy Kreme bun. The entire burger was somewhere around 1700 calories.
tekende
+0 -1
Baseball team? Cheeseburger?
Dear. God. I. Am. etc.
Baseball team? Cheeseburger?
Dear. God. I. Am. etc.
kickstart
+0 -0
Ain't that America - You and me
Ain't that America - Home of the free
Giant-ass heart attack burgers, for you and me
Ain't that America - You and me
Ain't that America - Home of the free
Giant-ass heart attack burgers, for you and me
tekende
+0 -0
I don't know anyone who does this, hecci. Personally, I put syrup on pancakes, waffles, or on the extremely rare occasions I eat it, french toast. Now, some syrup may get on the eggs or bacon or whatnot if they're on the same plate, but I don't do it deliberately.
I don't know anyone who does this, hecci. Personally, I put syrup on pancakes, waffles, or on the extremely rare occasions I eat it, french toast. Now, some syrup may get on the eggs or bacon or whatnot if they're on the same plate, but I don't do it deliberately.
loneal
+0 -0
Everyone I've ever known puts syrup on their bacon.
Everyone I've ever known puts syrup on their bacon.
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
That is because you know people of Class, loneal
That is because you know people of Class, loneal
lawbot
+0 -0
Heccibiggs? odei ?
Heccibiggs? odei ?
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
It starts out that way. The syrup waffles accidentally gets on the edges of your bacon or sausage. And then . . . you start to like it. You start to really like it. And then it starts happening more and more on purpose than by accident. And before you know it--you're a full-on syrup on breakfast meats fiend.
It starts out that way. The syrup waffles accidentally gets on the edges of your bacon or sausage. And then . . . you start to like it. You start to really like it. And then it starts happening more and more on purpose than by accident. And before you know it--you're a full-on syrup on breakfast meats fiend.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
i meant the syrup on your waffles. der.
i meant the syrup on your waffles. der.
_cheesekayke
+0 -0
Syrup sausage is delicious . Retract!
Syrup sausage is delicious . Retract!
quaga
+0 -0
I have never seen anyone do this, though I could just be hanging out with sane people.
I have never seen anyone do this, though I could just be hanging out with sane people.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Syrup is rather tastylicious with sausage and bacon.
Syrup is good with most any kinds of breakfast meat.
I even put it with my corned beef and hash on occasion.
However it is nasty as with eggs.
Also it stems from us not having enough culture in our fooding to apply restraint to things.
Syrup is rather tastylicious with sausage and bacon.
Syrup is good with most any kinds of breakfast meat.
I even put it with my corned beef and hash on occasion.
However it is nasty as with eggs.
Also it stems from us not having enough culture in our fooding to apply restraint to things.
jollysaintpete
+0 -0
Dude, syrup and eggs sounds disgusting, but don't you EVER knock syrup and sausage or bacon until you've tried it
Dude, syrup and eggs sounds disgusting, but don't you EVER knock syrup and sausage or bacon until you've tried it
chachibenji
+0 -0
Coronary rods?
Coronary rods?
dutch
+0 -0
so basically, what you're trying to say is, what you're getting at... you will never, ever, lay hands on a burrito.
for shame...
so basically, what you're trying to say is, what you're getting at... you will never, ever, lay hands on a burrito.
for shame...
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
My roommates are vegetarians, so I've had nothing but Facon and Soysage vittles.
I've gone and lived with Vittles Bitches. Fuck if it's my own comeuppance.
My roommates are vegetarians, so I've had nothing but Facon and Soysage vittles.
I've gone and lived with Vittles Bitches. Fuck if it's my own comeuppance.
soulwound
+0 -0
I think it's still true. You weren't supposed to even think about eating the fish out of the river for ages. PCBs and all thanks to an upstream GE plant.
I think it's still true. You weren't supposed to even think about eating the fish out of the river for ages. PCBs and all thanks to an upstream GE plant.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Where do you live? I'm in Ossining, a diverse community village thriving with hard-working eugh. We have neither a movie theater nor a bookstore.
Where do you live? I'm in Ossining, a diverse community village thriving with hard-working eugh. We have neither a movie theater nor a bookstore.
soulwound
+0 -0
I'm in Port Chester, where we have a huge theater and a tiny bookstore.
I'm in Port Chester, where we have a huge theater and a tiny bookstore.
sncether
+0 -0
Neither movie theater nor book store, but you do have Sing Sing, maximum security prison and source of popular phrases "up the river" and "the Big House".
I've noticed people from Ossining recoil from mentioning that aspect of their little river town. How Come?
Neither movie theater nor book store, but you do have Sing Sing, maximum security prison and source of popular phrases "up the river" and "the Big House".
I've noticed people from Ossining recoil from mentioning that aspect of their little river town. How Come?
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Oh-- I brag. Example:
Where you from?
Ossining.
Oss-?
Have you ever watched Law & Order? You know Sing Sing?
AW! SHIII-
yup.
Gets me laid every time.*
*It actually does not do this
Oh-- I brag. Example:
Where you from?
Ossining.
Oss-?
Have you ever watched Law & Order? You know Sing Sing?
AW! SHIII-
yup.
Gets me laid every time.*
*It actually does not do this
iceofboston
+2 -0
teodor, turn in your zester.
teodor, turn in your zester.
quaga
+0 -0
Man, T should have known not to get all foodie-douche on Beef's big day.
Man, T should have known not to get all foodie-douche on Beef's big day.
hamscout
+2 -0
True dat. Beef gets by one food-fondling sonofabitch, only to run into another one.
The next carbon footprint that Teodor has to worry about will be when Beef crushes out a cigarette, then kicks...his...ASS!
True dat. Beef gets by one food-fondling sonofabitch, only to run into another one.
The next carbon footprint that Teodor has to worry about will be when Beef crushes out a cigarette, then kicks...his...ASS!
comrade_tom
+0 -0
He's just a small bear who's hung like a cranberry, don't be too down on him
He's just a small bear who's hung like a cranberry, don't be too down on him
fermatprime
+1 -0
hehe, I love the "mycenaean beef and welsh lobster." although...lobster? am I missing something?
hehe, I love the "mycenaean beef and welsh lobster." although...lobster? am I missing something?
luquado
+0 -0
It was either that or aeolian cock, and he really preferred some seafood on the menu as opposed to fowl.
It was either that or aeolian cock, and he really preferred some seafood on the menu as opposed to fowl.
heccibiggs
+0 -0
Oh man, "aeolian" was part of one of my LiveJournal usernames way back when. I've never heard it used in any context, ever. I personally found it by doing a Google search for "cool words".
Oh man, "aeolian" was part of one of my LiveJournal usernames way back when. I've never heard it used in any context, ever. I personally found it by doing a Google search for "cool words".
girlandagun
+0 -0
harps?
harps?
lawbot
+0 -0
Aeolian and aioli are not especially related.
Aeolian and aioli are not especially related.
sncether
+0 -0
Cabbage Patch Kids and patchouli oil? How about that? Because my doll-juicer is really underperforming and I just blew a huge opportunity at Bonaroo.
Cabbage Patch Kids and patchouli oil? How about that? Because my doll-juicer is really underperforming and I just blew a huge opportunity at Bonaroo.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Is a cat/bear/otter okay with eating a quail or a lobster? Or even a cow, for that matter.
...I never considered this until now
Is a cat/bear/otter okay with eating a quail or a lobster? Or even a cow, for that matter.
...I never considered this until now
girlandagun
+0 -0
All of those animals eat meat, don't they? Cats eat whatever they can get their hot little paws on, bears will eat anything from fish to people, and otters dine on shellfish. I think they're probably down with whatever Teodor could whip up.
All of those animals eat meat, don't they? Cats eat whatever they can get their hot little paws on, bears will eat anything from fish to people, and otters dine on shellfish. I think they're probably down with whatever Teodor could whip up.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
I'm just thinking about the ones that have friends who are bears and tigers and robots. Where does the line get drawn?
I'm just thinking about the ones that have friends who are bears and tigers and robots. Where does the line get drawn?
quaga
+0 -0
I think it gets drawn at animals that can't talk.
I think it gets drawn at animals that can't talk.
stereo
+1 -0
Magreaux dogs are somewhat of an exception to this - they can talk (after a fashion) but they are not suitable as friends.
Magreaux dogs are somewhat of an exception to this - they can talk (after a fashion) but they are not suitable as friends.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
Jesus titty-fucking christ, I just found the Magreaux dog bit. I had forgotten how much I loved that arc. Thank you, sir.
Jesus titty-fucking christ, I just found the Magreaux dog bit. I had forgotten how much I loved that arc. Thank you, sir.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
This is a good rule, and I endorse it.
This is a good rule, and I endorse it.
william
+0 -0
Nope, fish talk.
Nope, fish talk.
quaga
+0 -0
Yeah, but Barry's a jerk, and if he's indicative of all fish kind they deserve to be eaten.
Yeah, but Barry's a jerk, and if he's indicative of all fish kind they deserve to be eaten.
yearsinhotclaws
+10 -0
Congratulations! You are the Thirty Millionth person to bring up the fact that the anthropomorphic characters in this strip sometimes behave like humans!
[IMGS OFF]
"I don't know guys, would a cat really drink a beer and speak English like that?"
me:
[IMGS OFF]
Congratulations! You are the Thirty Millionth person to bring up the fact that the anthropomorphic characters in this strip sometimes behave like humans!
[IMGS OFF]
"I don't know guys, would a cat really drink a beer and speak English like that?"
me:
[IMGS OFF]
deus
+1 -0
Now, i would love a ticket to somewhere where they strangled "THAT".
Now, i would love a ticket to somewhere where they strangled "THAT".
onepapertiger
+0 -1
THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE LIKE O>K> HAHA IM REAL FUNNY GUY LETS ALL GIVE ME CHUBBYS AND YOU CHUBBY HIM LIK REATRDS AND YALL NEED TO JUST STOP RIDIN ON CHRIS ONTSDAS DICK IM SAYIN EVERYBODY JESUS EVERIBODY CANT WE GET ALONG PEACEFULY JESUS?????
THAT DOESNT EVEN MAKE SENSE LIKE O>K> HAHA IM REAL FUNNY GUY LETS ALL GIVE ME CHUBBYS AND YOU CHUBBY HIM LIK REATRDS AND YALL NEED TO JUST STOP RIDIN ON CHRIS ONTSDAS DICK IM SAYIN EVERYBODY JESUS EVERIBODY CANT WE GET ALONG PEACEFULY JESUS?????
onepapertiger
+0 -1
AND ANYWAYS CATS DONT DRINK BEER SO JUST SHOWS HOW SMART YOU ARE DUMBASS GOD ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHY PEOPLE HATE AMERICA!
oh sorry my bad my caps lock was on nd i didnt even reilize lol
AND ANYWAYS CATS DONT DRINK BEER SO JUST SHOWS HOW SMART YOU ARE DUMBASS GOD ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHY PEOPLE HATE AMERICA!
oh sorry my bad my caps lock was on nd i didnt even reilize lol
davey-boy
+0 -0
Why are you so angry today, yearsinclaws?
Why are you so angry today, yearsinclaws?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I was merely busting the lads balls a bit but it seems the fellow is quite mad.
The guy further down the page deserved it though.
I was merely busting the lads balls a bit but it seems the fellow is quite mad.
The guy further down the page deserved it though.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
years is all shakin, just consumed by frustration and lashin out like an octopus with a cat-o-nine in each hand. He made a point, but with the subtly and demeanor of a live volcano.
And word: Onstad does not give a fuck about the strip ratings because even the vets don't rate them.
PS that zombie baby thing was sickeningly badass. Alan Moore?
years is all shakin, just consumed by frustration and lashin out like an octopus with a cat-o-nine in each hand. He made a point, but with the subtly and demeanor of a live volcano.
And word: Onstad does not give a fuck about the strip ratings because even the vets don't rate them.
PS that zombie baby thing was sickeningly badass. Alan Moore?
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Neil Gaiman.
https://www.btmon.com/Other/Comics/Neil_Gaiman_s_Sandman.torrent.html
Neil Gaiman.
https://www.btmon.com/Other/Comics/Neil_Gaiman_s_Sandman.torrent.html
girlandagun
+0 -0
What could be missing about a lobster?
What could be missing about a lobster?
chuvak
+0 -0
You are missing the fact that lobster is delicious.
You are missing the fact that lobster is delicious.
pogo
+0 -0
I imagine there could be lobsters off the coast of Wales.
I imagine there could be lobsters off the coast of Wales.
beansdooma
+0 -0
The animosity between Beef and Teodor seems to be growing, this, I think, will become an issue at the wedding.
The animosity between Beef and Teodor seems to be growing, this, I think, will become an issue at the wedding.
featurelessvoid
+6 -0
Just wait until Teodor sees the bridesmaid dress Beef picked out for him.
Just wait until Teodor sees the bridesmaid dress Beef picked out for him.
chachibenji
+0 -0
Oh dang.
Not a burn, so much as a searing fire .
Chub'd.
Oh dang.
Not a burn, so much as a searing fire .
Chub'd.
pogo
+0 -0
Thanks for the "soap opera" reminder that Teodor has smutty thoughts about Molly.
Thanks for the "soap opera" reminder that Teodor has smutty thoughts about Molly.
rene
+1 -0
I used to eat uncle Ben's rice with ketchup when I was a kid, is that bad?
I used to eat uncle Ben's rice with ketchup when I was a kid, is that bad?
slackojones
+4 -0
No, it just maybe means you come from Circumstances.
No, it just maybe means you come from Circumstances.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Or you really like ketchup. It's not a bad thing (I hope)
Or you really like ketchup. It's not a bad thing (I hope)
woodjay
+0 -0
So long as you know that in some places, asking for ketchup is grounds for murder, and that you never put it on Filet Mignon. I have a friend who always orders his steaks extra well done and drowns them in ketchup, not unlike Bensington Butters
So long as you know that in some places, asking for ketchup is grounds for murder, and that you never put it on Filet Mignon. I have a friend who always orders his steaks extra well done and drowns them in ketchup, not unlike Bensington Butters
quaga
+0 -0
It is mainly a thing of people who do not like food that is not sweet.
It is mainly a thing of people who do not like food that is not sweet.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Well no shit you don't put ketchup on a good steak... I grew up in Texas, I'll have you know!
Well no shit you don't put ketchup on a good steak... I grew up in Texas, I'll have you know!
woodjay
+1 -0
Just as a personal rule. if it's not on the steak when it's grilling (salt, pepper, garlic, maybe some lime on a strip or skirt steak) it doesn't go on at all (exception for mushrooms). Basically, ketchup goes on burgers and not much else, I feel that even fries are better put with mustard.
Just as a personal rule. if it's not on the steak when it's grilling (salt, pepper, garlic, maybe some lime on a strip or skirt steak) it doesn't go on at all (exception for mushrooms). Basically, ketchup goes on burgers and not much else, I feel that even fries are better put with mustard.
daidai
+2 -0
If I saw one of my friends ketchup a steak, I don't know what I'd do.
Oh yeah, I'd say "don't do that". I remember now.
If I saw one of my friends ketchup a steak, I don't know what I'd do.
Oh yeah, I'd say "don't do that". I remember now.
girlandagun
+0 -0
I think burgers should be dressed with A-1, personally.
And when you make them, they should contain a few tablespoons of olive oil and minced shallots and a tiny bit of fresh thyme. Mmm.
I think burgers should be dressed with A-1, personally.
And when you make them, they should contain a few tablespoons of olive oil and minced shallots and a tiny bit of fresh thyme. Mmm.
juanclaudius
+0 -0
ive gotten into the habit of brushing on a mix of Sriracha and Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce while my burgers are cooking, and after doing so it is essentially unnecessary to get any sauce up in (with an exception, perhaps, for a very mild and basic mayonnaise for extra moisture). Bufalo Chipotle sauce also works wonders with basically any cut of beef, ive found; haven't tried it with steak yet (mostly out of incredible respect for steak).
ive gotten into the habit of brushing on a mix of Sriracha and Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ sauce while my burgers are cooking, and after doing so it is essentially unnecessary to get any sauce up in (with an exception, perhaps, for a very mild and basic mayonnaise for extra moisture). Bufalo Chipotle sauce also works wonders with basically any cut of beef, ive found; haven't tried it with steak yet (mostly out of incredible respect for steak).
rene
+0 -0
I have found that the key to a good burger is to add minced garlic and onions, a tablespoon of stone ground mustard, some crumbled bread, and an egg. Then you fry them with a little bit of BBQ sauce or tamari. The result is glorious!
I have found that the key to a good burger is to add minced garlic and onions, a tablespoon of stone ground mustard, some crumbled bread, and an egg. Then you fry them with a little bit of BBQ sauce or tamari. The result is glorious!
perilon
+0 -0
Ketchuping one's food is only suitable for most food, which is bland. A special flavorful steak I will deign to eat as prepared.
Ketchuping one's food is only suitable for most food, which is bland. A special flavorful steak I will deign to eat as prepared.
anitrophaeron
+1 -0
Yogi Bear once exclaimed that he likes "A lotta ketchup on [his] mig-nonnies!" and was then chased to the top of the Eiffel Tower by an incensed French chef.
Yogi Bear once exclaimed that he likes "A lotta ketchup on [his] mig-nonnies!" and was then chased to the top of the Eiffel Tower by an incensed French chef.
quaga
+1 -0
circumstances and childhood are always acceptable excuses for eating low
circumstances and childhood are always acceptable excuses for eating low
rene
+0 -0
Oh shit, It was childhood circumstances. Another favourite food was a raw potato with salt sprinkled on it.
I was very very poor, but I also didn't know any better.
I thought ketchup on rice was gourmet, which i pronounced "gor-met"
Oh shit, It was childhood circumstances. Another favourite food was a raw potato with salt sprinkled on it.
I was very very poor, but I also didn't know any better.
I thought ketchup on rice was gourmet, which i pronounced "gor-met"
phy
+0 -0
Just so long as it wasn't Hunt's ketchup.
Just so long as it wasn't Hunt's ketchup.
rene
+0 -0
heck no, it was Heinz 57.
heck no, it was Heinz 57.
melcorazon
+0 -0
I've squinted and stared but I cannot figure out your icon nor why I feel so tingly and wrong after staring at it for so long.
I've squinted and stared but I cannot figure out your icon nor why I feel so tingly and wrong after staring at it for so long.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Lazors shooting out of his finger-goggled eyes. Also, you are a perv, and I will comfort you
Lazors shooting out of his finger-goggled eyes. Also, you are a perv, and I will comfort you
pogo
+0 -0
Oh, I thought it was one of those super-wrinkled dogs. Now you've ruined it.
Oh, I thought it was one of those super-wrinkled dogs. Now you've ruined it.
catgrl131
+1 -0
***Translation: He will finger-goggle you.
***Translation: He will finger-goggle you.
falala
+0 -0
eww gross lol
eww gross lol
tekende
+0 -0
OH!
I've been wondering too, and, um, my guess was absolutely nowhere near your explanation. I thought it was something, uh, horribly inappropriate.
OH!
I've been wondering too, and, um, my guess was absolutely nowhere near your explanation. I thought it was something, uh, horribly inappropriate.
rene
+0 -0
Dammit, I am not a dude. And this was the closest to handface I could get.
Dammit, I am not a dude. And this was the closest to handface I could get.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
You mean your hands will only go into that position when they get near your face?
You mean your hands will only go into that position when they get near your face?
rene
+0 -0
Every damn time!
Every damn time!
phy
+0 -0
How in the heck do you brush your teeth?
How in the heck do you brush your teeth?
perilon
+1 -0
Not at all! Ketchup that bitch, I always say.
Not at all! Ketchup that bitch, I always say.
lux
+0 -0
You're hard-selling that lycopene, arentcha?
You're hard-selling that lycopene, arentcha?
perilon
+0 -0
Ain't want prostate cancer, and I like the cute lycopene illustration on the Heinz bottle.
Ain't want prostate cancer, and I like the cute lycopene illustration on the Heinz bottle.
caddon
+2 -0
Teodor is catering a metaphor, not a restaurant.
Teodor is catering a metaphor, not a restaurant.
caddon
+1 -0
Restaurant? Oh no.
Wedding reception... I meant... JESUS...
Restaurant? Oh no.
Wedding reception... I meant... JESUS...
daidai
+0 -0
What did you do? :(
What did you do? :(
hbaranov
+1 -0
The Wedding Reception
You do a :( whilst catering your friends wedding reception...
The Wedding Reception
You do a :( whilst catering your friends wedding reception...
hamscout
+2 -0
Throw down your apron, a look of fear and disgust on your face, then run towards the oven screaming: MY SOUFFLES!!
Throw down your apron, a look of fear and disgust on your face, then run towards the oven screaming: MY SOUFFLES!!
bigtom
+1 -0
right right, pistols at dawn!
right right, pistols at dawn!
melatonin
+2 -0
I like to imagine all the different things Roast Beef could be looking at in panel three.
A nude photo of Pauly Shore, for example.
I like to imagine all the different things Roast Beef could be looking at in panel three.
A nude photo of Pauly Shore, for example.
theirateturk
+0 -0
I'm trying to work out whether replying to the strip without reading the strip is to be expected and therefore cannot be condemned or whether it is the worst fucking thing in the world...
I'm trying to work out whether replying to the strip without reading the strip is to be expected and therefore cannot be condemned or whether it is the worst fucking thing in the world...
quaga
+0 -0
I'm in the "worst fucking thing in the world" camp. The only purpose one would have in doing so is for FIRST POST shenanigans.
I'm in the "worst fucking thing in the world" camp. The only purpose one would have in doing so is for FIRST POST shenanigans.
theirateturk
+0 -0
How right you are. I have wasted my life :(
How right you are. I have wasted my life :(
tibcoolbreeze
+0 -0
What is going ON with Teodor's eyebrows in panels six and eight?!
What is going ON with Teodor's eyebrows in panels six and eight?!
sleshy
+2 -0
The big thing that upsets Beef is actually the cake, which is so bad that we don't even see what it is.
The big thing that upsets Beef is actually the cake, which is so bad that we don't even see what it is.
paperboy_2000
+8 -0
"Fudgie" the Whale Ice-Cream Cake -
Madagascar dry cocoa fudge and ice-cream hand churned by Bangladeshi children using Greenland blue glacial ice, all stuffed inside a harpooned Norwegian miske whale.
"Fudgie" the Whale Ice-Cream Cake -
Madagascar dry cocoa fudge and ice-cream hand churned by Bangladeshi children using Greenland blue glacial ice, all stuffed inside a harpooned Norwegian miske whale.
daidai
+1 -0
With kangaroo-milk cream whipped into barnacles on his skin.
With kangaroo-milk cream whipped into barnacles on his skin.
perilon
+0 -0
Basically this sounds like my impression of the back room of the Movenpick franchise in Gulshan 2, Dhaka. But hey, it's only 65 taka per scoop!
Basically this sounds like my impression of the back room of the Movenpick franchise in Gulshan 2, Dhaka. But hey, it's only 65 taka per scoop!
severide
+0 -0
Dry cocoa fudge and ice-cream hand?
It is hard to masturbate with an ice cream hand, and even harder to walk with ice cream legs.
Dry cocoa fudge and ice-cream hand?
It is hard to masturbate with an ice cream hand, and even harder to walk with ice cream legs.
lawbot
+0 -0
What the hell else did Beef expect?
What the hell else did Beef expect?
quaga
+0 -0
I think he was expecting reasonably fancy, but any food that includes more than 1 or 2 adjectives and quotations marks are well beyond normal
I think he was expecting reasonably fancy, but any food that includes more than 1 or 2 adjectives and quotations marks are well beyond normal
lawbot
+0 -0
Not from Teodor
Not from Teodor
quaga
+0 -0
I don't think it'd be too far out for him to assume that his friend would understand his tastes, especially for his wedding.
I don't think it'd be too far out for him to assume that his friend would understand his tastes, especially for his wedding.
lawbot
+0 -0
It's Teodor
It's Teodor
quantumcasaba
+1 -0
Teodor's culinary ego vs. Roast Beef's sense of sustenance.
Fight
Teodor's culinary ego vs. Roast Beef's sense of sustenance.
Fight
hbaranov
+0 -0
NO
NO
fineoakstructure
+1 -0
C'mon guys lawbot doesn't have many more font options to make his point more clear GET IT ALREADY
C'mon guys lawbot doesn't have many more font options to make his point more clear GET IT ALREADY
higuma
+0 -0
Nazareth is a well-known exporter of almonds and Jesuses.
Nazareth is a well-known exporter of almonds and Jesuses.
scantman
+0 -0
And they rock too!
And they rock too!
scantman
+0 -0
Oh, and I think the plural of Jesus is Jesi
Oh, and I think the plural of Jesus is Jesi
stereo
+0 -0
It depends on the root language, it might also be Jesodes. (pronounced Jeez-uh-deez)
It depends on the root language, it might also be Jesodes. (pronounced Jeez-uh-deez)
snidedk
+8 -0
Jesodes! What news from the north?
(I'm so, so sorry)
Jesodes! What news from the north?
(I'm so, so sorry)
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
The only thing you should be apologizing for is not writing that in all caps, and bold.
The only thing you should be apologizing for is not writing that in all caps, and bold.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I'm still laughing at that...
I'm still laughing at that...
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Take the scurillous knave, sever his pickers and stealers, suspend them in aspic! Wer't that I had the bearing of PUMJESTICLES as he pummeled Gladi8orex 'pon Ilios' shore, then villain youre crime would be doubly punished.
Take the scurillous knave, sever his pickers and stealers, suspend them in aspic! Wer't that I had the bearing of PUMJESTICLES as he pummeled Gladi8orex 'pon Ilios' shore, then villain youre crime would be doubly punished.
odei
+0 -0
Well, it's not.
Well, it's not.
perilon
+6 -0
It would be "Jesi" if "Jesus" was a Latin second declension noun, which it's not. It would be "Jesodes" if "Jesus" was a Greek third declension noun, which it's also not. "Jesus" is just the English version of the Greek version of the Aramaic name "Yeshua," so the plural can be nothing but "Jesuses."
It would be "Jesi" if "Jesus" was a Latin second declension noun, which it's not. It would be "Jesodes" if "Jesus" was a Greek third declension noun, which it's also not. "Jesus" is just the English version of the Greek version of the Aramaic name "Yeshua," so the plural can be nothing but "Jesuses."
higuma
+0 -0
Thank you little piggy! You know hella grammar.
Thank you little piggy! You know hella grammar.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I still love that god's name as written in hebrew had no vowels, so the name of god is actually Y_H W_H Which means his name could be... Wahu Yahu! Or.. Yeh Woh...
The mind boggles at my stupidity!
I still love that god's name as written in hebrew had no vowels, so the name of god is actually Y_H W_H Which means his name could be... Wahu Yahu! Or.. Yeh Woh...
The mind boggles at my stupidity!
pogo
+0 -0
Note: The actual name of God was supposed to be sacred and this never said. All the names are euphemisms or references, like "Lord."
Note: The actual name of God was supposed to be sacred and this never said. All the names are euphemisms or references, like "Lord."
hbaranov
+0 -0
Point to Pogo. But if I remember right, nobody ever called their feudal 'lord', the same word they called the 'lord' god?
Point to Pogo. But if I remember right, nobody ever called their feudal 'lord', the same word they called the 'lord' god?
cromar
+0 -0
Don't forget the Hebrew god El and his son Baal and the rest of the Elohim. They wouldn't like that.
YHWH all runnin' in late, pretending "What Elohim, who the fuck're that?"
Don't forget the Hebrew god El and his son Baal and the rest of the Elohim. They wouldn't like that.
YHWH all runnin' in late, pretending "What Elohim, who the fuck're that?"
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Also note: Hebrew has no vowels, ever, anywhere.
Also note: Hebrew has no vowels, ever, anywhere.
loneal
+0 -0
Well, kinda. The aleph, ayin, and vav are kinda pseudo-vowels, plus there are diacritical marks, but I suppose those didn't appear in the original Bible, though they appear in it now.
Well, kinda. The aleph, ayin, and vav are kinda pseudo-vowels, plus there are diacritical marks, but I suppose those didn't appear in the original Bible, though they appear in it now.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
It isn't to say that vowels aren't in the language (that would be difficult to speak), but they are kinda implied in the written form. Turns out they really aren't all that required for good language.
It isn't to say that vowels aren't in the language (that would be difficult to speak), but they are kinda implied in the written form. Turns out they really aren't all that required for good language.
pogo
+0 -0
There are, however, a few key terms in the Bible that can be translated differently depending on which vowels are inserted, so I've heard. And if you've ever had your vowels inserted, you know what pain is!
There are, however, a few key terms in the Bible that can be translated differently depending on which vowels are inserted, so I've heard. And if you've ever had your vowels inserted, you know what pain is!
catgrl131
+3 -0
The dots/marks are the vowels! I mean, you don't really use them in regular writing, since by the point you are fluent enough to be writing and reading stuff you have to just sort of figure out what is meant by the context if there is a word that can be either of two word depending on the vowels (I've never heard the marks called any different) For example:[IMGS OFF] means big, and [IMGS OFF] means grew. So if you came across this word in a hebrew book written without vowels (As most of them are), you would basically make the brain connection yourself depending on whether the word is used as a noun or a verb.
[IMGS OFF]
The dots/marks are the vowels! I mean, you don't really use them in regular writing, since by the point you are fluent enough to be writing and reading stuff you have to just sort of figure out what is meant by the context if there is a word that can be either of two word depending on the vowels (I've never heard the marks called any different) For example:[IMGS OFF] means big, and [IMGS OFF] means grew. So if you came across this word in a hebrew book written without vowels (As most of them are), you would basically make the brain connection yourself depending on whether the word is used as a noun or a verb.
[IMGS OFF]
catgrl131
+1 -0
Oh, by the by: The first word is pronounced gah-DOL, and the second is pronounced gee-DEL (Not like "Gee Whiz, Batman!", a hard G)
Oh, by the by: The first word is pronounced gah-DOL, and the second is pronounced gee-DEL (Not like "Gee Whiz, Batman!", a hard G)
pogo
+0 -0
A scholar and a babe, nice going, my daughter.
A scholar and a babe, nice going, my daughter.
stereo
+0 -0
Or Jehovah (sound of heads exploding)!
Or Jehovah (sound of heads exploding)!
rckd
+0 -0
Roast Beef was plain -out- of order.
Roast Beef was plain -out- of order.
hedonismbot
+9 -0
I am putting a notice here that anyone who responds to one of AIU's many renames will be lamed. If it really looks like you have no idea who you are talking to, I might not lame you, and if you are Edwell, then go nuts. Mocking him or trying to reason with him isn't going to work, laming him doesn't work. You must starve a troll, and I'm going to work to discourage people from egging him on. I'll start tomorrow, since today wouldn't really be fair. I hope to get a few others to help out (I know Pogo is with me on this one).
I am putting a notice here that anyone who responds to one of AIU's many renames will be lamed. If it really looks like you have no idea who you are talking to, I might not lame you, and if you are Edwell, then go nuts. Mocking him or trying to reason with him isn't going to work, laming him doesn't work. You must starve a troll, and I'm going to work to discourage people from egging him on. I'll start tomorrow, since today wouldn't really be fair. I hope to get a few others to help out (I know Pogo is with me on this one).
kickstart
+2 -0
I feel like we need a "We Are The World"-type benefit song, to raise awareness about the Ignore feature.
There comes a time, when you heed a certain call
To click IGNORE USER on AIU
and not read his garbage at all....
I feel like we need a "We Are The World"-type benefit song, to raise awareness about the Ignore feature.
There comes a time, when you heed a certain call
To click IGNORE USER on AIU
and not read his garbage at all....
111l1l1llll11ll
+0 -0
Comment left by 111l1l1llll11ll ignored.
Comment left by 111l1l1llll11ll ignored.
pogo
+0 -0
Got your back, 'Bot. We must discipline the troll feeders. Trouble is, I'm out of lames at this time. But not out of scorn.
Got your back, 'Bot. We must discipline the troll feeders. Trouble is, I'm out of lames at this time. But not out of scorn.
hbaranov
+0 -0
So is this now feeding?
So is this now feeding?
kamet
+0 -0
Nope, cuz you're replying to Pogo, who replied to Mr. Hedonism Bot...
Nope, cuz you're replying to Pogo, who replied to Mr. Hedonism Bot...
pogo
+0 -0
Check the indent, which often is a guide to what someone is responding to.
Check the indent, which often is a guide to what someone is responding to.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
This had better not turn out like Live8 guys, i can't stand to see another well intentioned thing fail miserably.
To be fair though this is a noble enterprise with every chance of sucess, Live8 was bollocks from the getgo.
This had better not turn out like Live8 guys, i can't stand to see another well intentioned thing fail miserably.
To be fair though this is a noble enterprise with every chance of sucess, Live8 was bollocks from the getgo.
howl
+0 -0
Fish "ravioli"? What the fuck? And what is tobiko?
Fish "ravioli"? What the fuck? And what is tobiko?
chuvak
+0 -0
There's a little place I know,
A place where it's fun to go,
You can find what you want to know,
Their algorithms really don't blow -
google.
There's a little place I know,
A place where it's fun to go,
You can find what you want to know,
Their algorithms really don't blow -
google.
lateadopter
+0 -0
Damn, this arc has been all about my wedding.
Damn, this arc has been all about my wedding.
starforth
+1 -0
So whose side are you guys taking? I think I am actually siding with T on this one - he works hard to create a fancy menu and then Beef bitches about the "carbon footprint" and calls him a prima donna and a vittles bitch within the span of 2 panels. What the hell kind of way to act is that even?
So whose side are you guys taking? I think I am actually siding with T on this one - he works hard to create a fancy menu and then Beef bitches about the "carbon footprint" and calls him a prima donna and a vittles bitch within the span of 2 panels. What the hell kind of way to act is that even?
scantman
+2 -0
He was all trying to skank on Molly though. I'm with Beef.
He was all trying to skank on Molly though. I'm with Beef.
girlandagun
+0 -0
He was trying very hard NOT to skank on Molly, thank you. He was really trying not to feel any romantic or sexual feelings towards her at all. He was just, you know, failing pretty miserably.
He was trying very hard NOT to skank on Molly, thank you. He was really trying not to feel any romantic or sexual feelings towards her at all. He was just, you know, failing pretty miserably.
prine
+1 -0
That menu looks like it would include a monocle and a cane next to the two dozen tiny forks and knives and whatever other bullshit. Goddamn foodies.
That menu looks like it would include a monocle and a cane next to the two dozen tiny forks and knives and whatever other bullshit. Goddamn foodies.
hedonismbot
+5 -0
I'm with Beef. You gotta think about your audience in food service. Teodor is cooking for himself, and he will end up watching an army of Welsh ghosts and low class rousties ignore his food, and instead eat smuggled-in canned chicken.
I'm with Beef. You gotta think about your audience in food service. Teodor is cooking for himself, and he will end up watching an army of Welsh ghosts and low class rousties ignore his food, and instead eat smuggled-in canned chicken.
flazisismuss
+11 -0
First let me say, I am with Beef here, but he did miss out on the easiest way of addressing the issue. Just print different menus! T can give those douchebag menus to anyone he wants to impress, and everyone else can get menus that say:
APPETIZER: Ravioli
SALAD: Duck Salad
MAIN COURSE: Surf and Turf
SMOKES: Marlboro Reds
etc.
First let me say, I am with Beef here, but he did miss out on the easiest way of addressing the issue. Just print different menus! T can give those douchebag menus to anyone he wants to impress, and everyone else can get menus that say:
APPETIZER: Ravioli
SALAD: Duck Salad
MAIN COURSE: Surf and Turf
SMOKES: Marlboro Reds
etc.
pogo
+0 -0
You make an excellent point.
You make an excellent point.
darleen
+2 -0
I read that as; "Snuggled-in canned chicken." Which made me picture someone cuddling a chicken as they shove it into a can. The chicken would be fussing and looking around as chickens do, but, it would be enjoying the snugglin'.
I read that as; "Snuggled-in canned chicken." Which made me picture someone cuddling a chicken as they shove it into a can. The chicken would be fussing and looking around as chickens do, but, it would be enjoying the snugglin'.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I was actually picturing the same sort of thing, but I don't think my use of the word 'can' was the same thing you were thinking of.
I was actually picturing the same sort of thing, but I don't think my use of the word 'can' was the same thing you were thinking of.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Bruk.
Bruk.
doc_rostov
+3 -0
Beef has a right to be a bit piqued. That menu is ridiculous. It's like taking a joke too far. Teodor KNOWS that Beef comes from a poor background. No need to make his wedding any more uncomfortable than it already is for the poor guy with a bunch of fancy crap he knows Beef is going to have trouble with.
On the other hand, Beef's response doesn't make any sense whatsoever. He's a guy who eats Hormel Chicken Thighs in White Gravy. That has just as much of a carbon footprint as any other food, probably more. Then he gets ridiculous about the whole thing with the whole vittles bitch slam. What the hell, Beef. This is not optimal.
Overall: undecided.
Beef has a right to be a bit piqued. That menu is ridiculous. It's like taking a joke too far. Teodor KNOWS that Beef comes from a poor background. No need to make his wedding any more uncomfortable than it already is for the poor guy with a bunch of fancy crap he knows Beef is going to have trouble with.
On the other hand, Beef's response doesn't make any sense whatsoever. He's a guy who eats Hormel Chicken Thighs in White Gravy. That has just as much of a carbon footprint as any other food, probably more. Then he gets ridiculous about the whole thing with the whole vittles bitch slam. What the hell, Beef. This is not optimal.
Overall: undecided.
fallow_fields
+0 -0
1
1
achilleselbow
+1 -0
I gotta disagree here. What the hell, Beef. I grew up kinda poor too, which is exactly why I jump at the chance to stuff my face with fancy food (as long it's the kind that has meat in it rather than some vegan arugula bullcrap). You don't "understand" food, you freakin' eat it.
And the carbon footprint business? Geez, way to be a Pat.
I gotta disagree here. What the hell, Beef. I grew up kinda poor too, which is exactly why I jump at the chance to stuff my face with fancy food (as long it's the kind that has meat in it rather than some vegan arugula bullcrap). You don't "understand" food, you freakin' eat it.
And the carbon footprint business? Geez, way to be a Pat.
prine
+0 -0
No. No, dude. Teodor is building this edible monument precisely so people can understand it. He doesn't give a crap whether it actually tastes good or not. He wants people to pay attention to where all the shit he made it out of comes from.
No. No, dude. Teodor is building this edible monument precisely so people can understand it. He doesn't give a crap whether it actually tastes good or not. He wants people to pay attention to where all the shit he made it out of comes from.
falseprophet
+1 -0
They're both being douchebags, which is interesting because I have heard lots of different comments on assetbar all offering different candidates for which character "is" Onstad. Some have said Roast Beef, others Teodor. Now I try to avoid this line of critical argument, but it's possible that Onstad puts a little bit of himself into all of his characters (some think that this is what all writers do inevitably) and what we're reading is an inner anguish put on the page. But again, I don't think psychoanalysis of the writer through his characters is credible criticism so I'll get off that point.
As a dude of relatively moderate Circumstances there are often times when I am left bewildered by the references in the comic, and am thankful for posts like those of hedonismbot up above. I still have no clue what an Alpo Bar is and as of writing this I don't care enough to find out. But I can see through those unfamiliar details to the characters underneath and I am certainly worried that Onstad will follow one of Kurt Vonnegut's 8 rules of writing fiction and take Roast Beef to school in the car of pain.
They're both being douchebags, which is interesting because I have heard lots of different comments on assetbar all offering different candidates for which character "is" Onstad. Some have said Roast Beef, others Teodor. Now I try to avoid this line of critical argument, but it's possible that Onstad puts a little bit of himself into all of his characters (some think that this is what all writers do inevitably) and what we're reading is an inner anguish put on the page. But again, I don't think psychoanalysis of the writer through his characters is credible criticism so I'll get off that point.
As a dude of relatively moderate Circumstances there are often times when I am left bewildered by the references in the comic, and am thankful for posts like those of hedonismbot up above. I still have no clue what an Alpo Bar is and as of writing this I don't care enough to find out. But I can see through those unfamiliar details to the characters underneath and I am certainly worried that Onstad will follow one of Kurt Vonnegut's 8 rules of writing fiction and take Roast Beef to school in the car of pain.
woodjay
+0 -0
Alpo is a brand of pet food. Basically Beef's family is about as classy as eating a can of beef heart in cornstarch gravy at a wedding.
Alpo is a brand of pet food. Basically Beef's family is about as classy as eating a can of beef heart in cornstarch gravy at a wedding.
daidai
+0 -0
Yeah that "rap music, my droogs" strip definitely felt like personal experience. That was the Stad in Phillippe.
Yeah that "rap music, my droogs" strip definitely felt like personal experience. That was the Stad in Phillippe.
binlaggin
+0 -0
I think finding Onstad through the characters is an interesting way of looking at the characters. For my money, it's T that is the closest--he's mopey, but not clinically depressed, came from a comfortable background, has good ideas and is creative but not to his own satisfaction, etc.
I think finding Onstad through the characters is an interesting way of looking at the characters. For my money, it's T that is the closest--he's mopey, but not clinically depressed, came from a comfortable background, has good ideas and is creative but not to his own satisfaction, etc.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Teodor is Chris Onstar, circa 1997
Teodor is Chris Onstar, circa 1997
woodenteeth
+1 -0
You wouldn't believe how pissed Onstar is when he performs google searches on himself.
You wouldn't believe how pissed Onstar is when he performs google searches on himself.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Hey man, the money you spend on your wedding is the money you don't get to spend on cool stuff in your married life together. Or maybe that's just my life. But either way, you're paying for whatever people are eating and usually drinking, somehow.
Hey man, the money you spend on your wedding is the money you don't get to spend on cool stuff in your married life together. Or maybe that's just my life. But either way, you're paying for whatever people are eating and usually drinking, somehow.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
You and tekende are tying the knot?! Are we invited??
You and tekende are tying the knot?! Are we invited??
bixschmix
+0 -0
I meant more hypothetically. But I'll keep you posted. Achillesbow has already called best-man-as-Slash-shredding-outside-the-church.
I meant more hypothetically. But I'll keep you posted. Achillesbow has already called best-man-as-Slash-shredding-outside-the-church.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I call the food! I can cook and shit, and cater if I'm naked. And I live like, right across the street from Tekende.
I call the food! I can cook and shit, and cater if I'm naked. And I live like, right across the street from Tekende.
tekende
+0 -0
Yeah, dude, where around here DO you live...I know we're in the same state, but are we...are we in the same city?
Yeah, dude, where around here DO you live...I know we're in the same state, but are we...are we in the same city?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I grew up in Edmond and visit there about twice a month, live in Norman, and wander all over OKC for various reasons pretty much constantly. Mostly to watch you pee side-saddle.
I grew up in Edmond and visit there about twice a month, live in Norman, and wander all over OKC for various reasons pretty much constantly. Mostly to watch you pee side-saddle.
tekende
+0 -0
Interesting.
I'm...a little afraid to ask if you want to hang out sometime.
Interesting.
I'm...a little afraid to ask if you want to hang out sometime.
kamet
+0 -0
You guys can do the whole cute multi-handface thing!!
You guys can do the whole cute multi-handface thing!!
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I will show up dressed as Bix if you want. I have a wig made of hair even. I can imitate her voice well enough to convince even her close family. We can hang and take pictures just like you did with her. Exactly like it.
Also we can see a movie and make out and stuff. Or we might just go on with our lives, I'm not much fun to hang out with in the real world. For one I'm a huge geek-type nerd. For another, I'm morbidly obese and only have one leg, so you'd need to hold me up a lot.
I will show up dressed as Bix if you want. I have a wig made of hair even. I can imitate her voice well enough to convince even her close family. We can hang and take pictures just like you did with her. Exactly like it.
Also we can see a movie and make out and stuff. Or we might just go on with our lives, I'm not much fun to hang out with in the real world. For one I'm a huge geek-type nerd. For another, I'm morbidly obese and only have one leg, so you'd need to hold me up a lot.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh well uh I am not really all that strong I mean I don't know about holding you or anyone who is not about my size up you know
Oh well uh I am not really all that strong I mean I don't know about holding you or anyone who is not about my size up you know
bixschmix
+0 -0
My family would probably notice if I showed up obese and limbless.
My family would probably notice if I showed up obese and limbless.
tekende
+0 -0
Also, I'm not sure why a wedding would need someone to shit, but it's good to know you can cover that too.
Also, I'm not sure why a wedding would need someone to shit, but it's good to know you can cover that too.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
That was a long time ago, the carbon footprint concern thing is a recent thing.
That was a long time ago, the carbon footprint concern thing is a recent thing.
irondave
+0 -0
I'm more with Teodor. I think weddings should have plenty large carbon footprints. On the other, cut Beef some slack because getting married is stressful, especially with his family background.
I'm more with Teodor. I think weddings should have plenty large carbon footprints. On the other, cut Beef some slack because getting married is stressful, especially with his family background.
pogo
+0 -0
Nah, the menu has to be appropriate for the event, and that menu was like from outer foodie space.
Nah, the menu has to be appropriate for the event, and that menu was like from outer foodie space.
prine
+0 -0
What the fuck , Teodor?
What the fuck , Teodor?
chachibenji
+0 -0
I really dont know what the stuff on the menu is or if the areas are even famous for the foods theyre associated with.
Like, does Nazareth really have great almonds? I figure it would be more famous for Jesus, and stuff.
I really dont know what the stuff on the menu is or if the areas are even famous for the foods theyre associated with.
Like, does Nazareth really have great almonds? I figure it would be more famous for Jesus, and stuff.
howl
+0 -0
Almonds seem associated with Nazareth in my head, although I have no idea why. I don't think they taught us principle exports of the Holy Lands in Sunday school. And the Tsukiji Fish Market in Japan is famous for very high-quality fish, although I don%u2019t know how Teodor expects to import it. Myceanian beef and Welsh Lobster have me puzzled.
Almonds seem associated with Nazareth in my head, although I have no idea why. I don't think they taught us principle exports of the Holy Lands in Sunday school. And the Tsukiji Fish Market in Japan is famous for very high-quality fish, although I don%u2019t know how Teodor expects to import it. Myceanian beef and Welsh Lobster have me puzzled.
howl
+0 -0
Jeez, I think that was my first assetbar fuck-up.
Jeez, I think that was my first assetbar fuck-up.
pogo
+1 -0
You're growing up before our eyes.
You're growing up before our eyes.
howl
+0 -0
I have, however, never messed up my BBcode (knock on wood)
I have, however, never messed up my BBcode (knock on wood)
margargaret
+2 -0
I refuse to believe that you are 13.
Also, I think you are thinking of Jordan almonds, famous for their use as a tacky wedding party favor.
I refuse to believe that you are 13.
Also, I think you are thinking of Jordan almonds, famous for their use as a tacky wedding party favor.
odei
+0 -0
Huh, plenty of smart kids. It's a good thing to believe, because it means we'll have capable and caring people looking after us in a post-apocalyptic retirement home.
Huh, plenty of smart kids. It's a good thing to believe, because it means we'll have capable and caring people looking after us in a post-apocalyptic retirement home.
loneal
+0 -0
Yes, but how many smart kids are capable of reading The Time Traveler's Wife in the womb ?
Yes, but how many smart kids are capable of reading The Time Traveler's Wife in the womb ?
odei
+3 -0
Yet another issue the government isn't addressing .
Yet another issue the government isn't addressing .
howl
+0 -0
Look, the word I used was "several." I don't know about you, but I was raised to believe that several = two or three. I'm very sorry for any hilarious misunderstandings this has brought about.
Look, the word I used was "several." I don't know about you, but I was raised to believe that several = two or three. I'm very sorry for any hilarious misunderstandings this has brought about.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
We were raised in a different era, where 'several' meant exactly 13. It's a common issue with kids your age, what with your hipping and hopping and your drugs and such. Now cut your hair, mow the lawn and stop wearing your pants so low young man, or I'll get the strop!
We were raised in a different era, where 'several' meant exactly 13. It's a common issue with kids your age, what with your hipping and hopping and your drugs and such. Now cut your hair, mow the lawn and stop wearing your pants so low young man, or I'll get the strop!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
ILL TELL YOU KIDS WHATS COOL
ILL TELL YOU KIDS WHATS COOL
howl
+0 -0
Fine. What.
Fine. What.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
(He doesn't really know. Nice job calling him on it)
(He doesn't really know. Nice job calling him on it)
howl
+0 -0
No, no, I wanna know. What is cool, yearsinhotclaws? Tweaking?
No, no, I wanna know. What is cool, yearsinhotclaws? Tweaking?
yearsinhotclaws
+2 -0
Ok, here goes:
Mountain Dew. Weed. Firecrackers. Heavy Spooning. M*A*S*H (the movie). Friendship. Ganking Noobs. Bands in the 90s that made one or two good albums and then lost their talent/integrity/minds (Third Eye Blind{1}, Foo Fighters {2}, Weezer {2}, Everclear{1.5}, Blink 182 {.75}, The Offspring {1}, Green Day {1}, CAKE {1.5}, Bush {.80}, Queens of the Stone Age {2}, Smashing Pumpkins {2, 3 if you count mellon collie as 2}, Verbena {1}). Mulholland Drive. Naked Lunch (the book). The Simpsons (seasons 3 through 8). Ghost World (the movie and then the comic). The Shining (the one by Stanley Kubrick). Tales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski. Wet Hot American Summer . The Thin Red Line. Glengarry Glen Ross . Aliens . The Thing . Nixon (the movie). Trainspotting (turn up your sound, don't do heroin). Five Easy Pieces. Badlands (the movie). The Watchmen. The Invisibles (first three volumes only).Pursuing your education and not becoming a culture-baron train-wreck/wage slave. Pete and Pete (turn your sound back down). Rocko's Modern Life . Ren and Stimpy . Bill Hicks .
In addition to this there are a handful of things that are so cool that people think they can be cool for saying they aren't cool, some of which follow:
Nirvana
Pulp Fiction
The Original Star Wars Trilogy
The First Matrix Movie
If you meet someone who says they hate these things, know that irony has crushed their soul, and there is no fixing them.
Some of the bands I mentioned don't get links because their videos and live performances were so self-disgracing that it completely ruined the actual music. I didn't even go into the indie bands, bands from as far back as the 60s, bands which were awesome until they broke up, or have continued to be awesome to this very day, and rap. I didn't provide links to every one of the movies because I couldn't find scenes for all of them that weren't big spoilers. If you are ever a lead singer in a band, you should act like this .
Also:
This .
This .
And this .
Bill Hicks is dead and available for birthday parties.
Hopefully all of the links don't work.
Ok, here goes:
Mountain Dew. Weed. Firecrackers. Heavy Spooning. M*A*S*H (the movie). Friendship. Ganking Noobs. Bands in the 90s that made one or two good albums and then lost their talent/integrity/minds (Third Eye Blind{1}, Foo Fighters {2}, Weezer {2}, Everclear{1.5}, Blink 182 {.75}, The Offspring {1}, Green Day {1}, CAKE {1.5}, Bush {.80}, Queens of the Stone Age {2}, Smashing Pumpkins {2, 3 if you count mellon collie as 2}, Verbena {1}). Mulholland Drive. Naked Lunch (the book). The Simpsons (seasons 3 through 8). Ghost World (the movie and then the comic). The Shining (the one by Stanley Kubrick). Tales of Ordinary Madness by Charles Bukowski. Wet Hot American Summer . The Thin Red Line. Glengarry Glen Ross . Aliens . The Thing . Nixon (the movie). Trainspotting (turn up your sound, don't do heroin). Five Easy Pieces. Badlands (the movie). The Watchmen. The Invisibles (first three volumes only).
In addition to this there are a handful of things that are so cool that people think they can be cool for saying they aren't cool, some of which follow:
Nirvana
Pulp Fiction
The Original Star Wars Trilogy
The First Matrix Movie
If you meet someone who says they hate these things, know that irony has crushed their soul, and there is no fixing them.
Some of the bands I mentioned don't get links because their videos and live performances were so self-disgracing that it completely ruined the actual music. I didn't even go into the indie bands, bands from as far back as the 60s, bands which were awesome until they broke up, or have continued to be awesome to this very day, and rap. I didn't provide links to every one of the movies because I couldn't find scenes for all of them that weren't big spoilers. If you are ever a lead singer in a band, you should act like this .
Also:
This .
This .
And this .
Bill Hicks is dead and available for birthday parties.
Hopefully all of the links don't work.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
So, tweaking huh? (Howl, this is a great cross-section of what was cool ten years ago. If you like all these things, you can hang with those of use that remember the Reagan era)
So, tweaking huh? (Howl, this is a great cross-section of what was cool ten years ago. If you like all these things, you can hang with those of use that remember the Reagan era)
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I picked the stuff from ten years ago because it was before her time, I'm sure she knows all about Radiohead and Paul Thomas Anderson and Adult Swim and Louis C.K.
I picked the stuff from ten years ago because it was before her time, I'm sure she knows all about Radiohead and Paul Thomas Anderson and Adult Swim and Louis C.K.
howl
+0 -0
Actually, I'm pretty with-it but I've never heard of Paul Thomas Anderson or Louis C.K.
Actually, I'm pretty with-it but I've never heard of Paul Thomas Anderson or Louis C.K.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Paul Thomas Anderson: directed Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love, and There Will Be Blood
Louis C.K.: tells jokes that get ripped off by Dane Cook
GAMEPRO BONUS LINK
Space Ghost: Coast To Coast: I forgot this somehow
Paul Thomas Anderson: directed Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch Drunk Love, and There Will Be Blood
Louis C.K.: tells jokes that get ripped off by Dane Cook
GAMEPRO BONUS LINK
Space Ghost: Coast To Coast: I forgot this somehow
kamet
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
Can't forget Space Ghost.
[IMGS OFF]
Can't forget Space Ghost.
howl
+0 -0
well jeez I mean I don't watch television ever.
well jeez I mean I don't watch television ever.
howl
+0 -0
Excuse me, are you saying that CAKE was ever good?
Excuse me, are you saying that CAKE was ever good?
falseprophet
+1 -0
With their hippin anda hoppin anda bippin anda boppin
They don't know what
The Jazz
[IMGS OFF]
Is all About!
...
Damn it God why Carlin and not him?!
With their hippin anda hoppin anda bippin anda boppin
They don't know what
The Jazz
[IMGS OFF]
Is all About!
...
Damn it God why Carlin and not him?!
woodjay
+0 -0
Pudding-Pops are power.
Pudding-Pops are power.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
Had I another chub, Falseprophet, it would be yours.
Also: fuck, shit, tits, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, piss. RIP, Mr. Carlin. See you across the Rainbow Bridge.
Had I another chub, Falseprophet, it would be yours.
Also: fuck, shit, tits, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, piss. RIP, Mr. Carlin. See you across the Rainbow Bridge.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I hate to be a cockhole, but George was very specific about the order. He loved the cadence, called it jazz. It must always be: Shit Piss Cunt Fuck Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits. It just rolls of the tongue, and ends so sweetly. A real marvel of comedy timing and cadence.
I hate to be a cockhole, but George was very specific about the order. He loved the cadence, called it jazz. It must always be: Shit Piss Cunt Fuck Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits. It just rolls of the tongue, and ends so sweetly. A real marvel of comedy timing and cadence.
bixschmix
+0 -0
He was my commencement speaker. He walked up to the stage, looked over the school and the graduates, and just said, "Neeeerrrrrds."
He was my commencement speaker. He walked up to the stage, looked over the school and the graduates, and just said, "Neeeerrrrrds."
howl
+0 -0
That is probably true! Thank you. Oh, and for all those people saying that I'm not really 13, if I was pretending to be 13 I would be saying the kinds of things typical of a 13-year-old, wouldn't I?
Besides, I'll be 14 next month. So there. *pbbbtht*
That is probably true! Thank you. Oh, and for all those people saying that I'm not really 13, if I was pretending to be 13 I would be saying the kinds of things typical of a 13-year-old, wouldn't I?
Besides, I'll be 14 next month. So there. *pbbbtht*
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Shhh, don't tell the 14 year old part to Pogo, that's dangerous (I'm sorry Pogo)
Shhh, don't tell the 14 year old part to Pogo, that's dangerous (I'm sorry Pogo)
pogo
+0 -0
I await her 16th, bwaaahaaahaaahaaa!
I await her 16th, bwaaahaaahaaahaaa!
fermatprime
+7 -0
Mycenean and Welsh are pretty obviously to me references to the Greek Beef (heh, Mycenaean beef, get it?) and the Welsh Molly, respectively. I dunno what's up with the lobster though.
Mycenean and Welsh are pretty obviously to me references to the Greek Beef (heh, Mycenaean beef, get it?) and the Welsh Molly, respectively. I dunno what's up with the lobster though.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Think the beef represents Beef's heritage and the lobster Molly's, got the whole greek/wales thing going on.
If you read the Iliad its mostly about myceaneans eating beef.
Think the beef represents Beef's heritage and the lobster Molly's, got the whole greek/wales thing going on.
If you read the Iliad its mostly about myceaneans eating beef.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Historically Greeks only got meat when they sacrificed.
Otherwise it was fish and bread mm-mmm. So eating beef all the time, shows just how god-fearing yet badass (I mean where are the cow's coming from eh?) the heroes of the Iliad are.
Personally not read it, though I did flick through the Odyssey (flick said with greatest irony) recently.
Historically Greeks only got meat when they sacrificed.
Otherwise it was fish and bread mm-mmm. So eating beef all the time, shows just how god-fearing yet badass (I mean where are the cow's coming from eh?) the heroes of the Iliad are.
Personally not read it, though I did flick through the Odyssey (flick said with greatest irony) recently.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
The Iliads a bit of an anomaly, given that it depicts an aristocratic society in an imagined bronze age, for example despite the coastal nature of the greek camp, they never go fishing or are mentioned eating fish (this was Homer's crazy way of saying it was long ago), also the homeric heroes spend any time not fighting, either feasting or sacrifice, at one point they even throw a pig into the sea as a way of sealing a pact.
The Iliad's well worth a look, i'd recomment a prose one though, theres only so many things you can ryme "pumjesticles" with.
The Iliads a bit of an anomaly, given that it depicts an aristocratic society in an imagined bronze age, for example despite the coastal nature of the greek camp, they never go fishing or are mentioned eating fish (this was Homer's crazy way of saying it was long ago), also the homeric heroes spend any time not fighting, either feasting or sacrifice, at one point they even throw a pig into the sea as a way of sealing a pact.
The Iliad's well worth a look, i'd recomment a prose one though, theres only so many things you can ryme "pumjesticles" with.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I am fully aware of the anomalies. The introduction to my translation of the Odyssey almost put me off reading it, it being a good half of the damn book (including the post-script by another waffling academic). But it mentioned both Iliad scenes and Odyssean scenes. I do think you have to treat them both a bit like 24. Like, when do we ever see Jack Bauer on the crapper.
(also, 24 is a 45 minute show without ads.... so theres 6 hours unaccounted for every series)
I am fully aware of the anomalies. The introduction to my translation of the Odyssey almost put me off reading it, it being a good half of the damn book (including the post-script by another waffling academic). But it mentioned both Iliad scenes and Odyssean scenes. I do think you have to treat them both a bit like 24. Like, when do we ever see Jack Bauer on the crapper.
(also, 24 is a 45 minute show without ads.... so theres 6 hours unaccounted for every series)
perilon
+0 -0
Whose translation were you reading? I personally can't stand Lattimore. He tries to imitate in English as far as reasonable the syntax of the ancient Greek, which just makes for confusing sentences you have to read two or three times over. I much prefer Robert Fagles' translations - they're more straightforward, and preserve the power of the text through simplicity instead of long-winded metaphor.
Whose translation were you reading? I personally can't stand Lattimore. He tries to imitate in English as far as reasonable the syntax of the ancient Greek, which just makes for confusing sentences you have to read two or three times over. I much prefer Robert Fagles' translations - they're more straightforward, and preserve the power of the text through simplicity instead of long-winded metaphor.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
I'm most fammiliar with E.v Rieu's prose translation (penguin classics edition), I've heard Fagles' one is meant to be good though.
A good introduction can really help with the text, particularly with all the technical stuff, but i know what you mean about a bad introduction. Not tackled the Odyssey yet, just did a course on Anicent greek literature so I'm having a break from anything thats over 2000 years old (except for Exodus,which i have bloody exam on tommorow which shan't be too fun as Exodus is largely a book about furniture)
I'm most fammiliar with E.v Rieu's prose translation (penguin classics edition), I've heard Fagles' one is meant to be good though.
A good introduction can really help with the text, particularly with all the technical stuff, but i know what you mean about a bad introduction. Not tackled the Odyssey yet, just did a course on Anicent greek literature so I'm having a break from anything thats over 2000 years old (except for Exodus,which i have bloody exam on tommorow which shan't be too fun as Exodus is largely a book about furniture)
cromar
+2 -0
Quote:
Nothing escapes Jack Bauer!
Quote:
Like, when do we ever see Jack Bauer on the crapper.
Nothing escapes Jack Bauer!
irondave
+0 -0
So didn't you just answer your own question about Jack Bauer on the crapper?
So didn't you just answer your own question about Jack Bauer on the crapper?
redface
+0 -0
Peace Love and Harmony, You too!
Beef's wedding is supposed to be a happy occasion!
Peace Love and Harmony, You too!
Beef's wedding is supposed to be a happy occasion!
woodjay
+0 -0
What is worse? A ticket to go see owls getting strangled? Or a VIP dinner invitation with Cartilage Head?
What is worse? A ticket to go see owls getting strangled? Or a VIP dinner invitation with Cartilage Head?
weapon86
+0 -0
Ok I am not a man of microwave rice, but damn if a bit of ranch dressing on some fresh pasta does not do me good at 3am. It is the worlds worst and cheapest "alfredo" for sure, but I yum it up all the same.
Ok I am not a man of microwave rice, but damn if a bit of ranch dressing on some fresh pasta does not do me good at 3am. It is the worlds worst and cheapest "alfredo" for sure, but I yum it up all the same.
chachibenji
+0 -0
mmm welcome to college.
mmm welcome to college.
echidnaboy
+7 -0
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I COULD MURDER A RACCOON TIKKA MASALA.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I COULD MURDER A RACCOON TIKKA MASALA.
earendil
+0 -0
Discworld gets you biggest chubby.
Discworld gets you biggest chubby.
hbaranov
+0 -0
This is why Terry Pratchett is having issue. It's not Alzheimer's just blood flow diversion...
This is why Terry Pratchett is having issue. It's not Alzheimer's just blood flow diversion...
hbaranov
+0 -0
issues**
issues**
margargaret
+0 -0
Chubbies doth often lead to issue.
Chubbies doth often lead to issue.
bobodante
+4 -0
"In this weeks' [i]No Reservations with Tony Bourdain/[i], Tony calls out Applebees spokeschef Tyler Florence as a 'vittles bitch,' much to the chagrin of his former network overlords at the Food Network, who sit fidgiting in their 11-tier Belgian verital chocolate wedding cake towers (built by red-headed cooking harpy Bobby Flay)."
"In this weeks' [i]No Reservations with Tony Bourdain/[i], Tony calls out Applebees spokeschef Tyler Florence as a 'vittles bitch,' much to the chagrin of his former network overlords at the Food Network, who sit fidgiting in their 11-tier Belgian verital chocolate wedding cake towers (built by red-headed cooking harpy Bobby Flay)."
gumfish
+0 -0
I imagine that in the very moment the ring slides on the finger, friction causes a microscopic puff of air that smells exactly like alpo bar
I imagine that in the very moment the ring slides on the finger, friction causes a microscopic puff of air that smells exactly like alpo bar
kickstart
+0 -0
"Et voila." Red flag before T even hands him the menu.
"Et voila." Red flag before T even hands him the menu.
wonelove
+0 -0
oh dear.
I know people exactly like T.
oh dear.
I know people exactly like T.
hedonismbot
+52 -1
Okay, since I'm a reasonably know-it-all-asshole about food, and I haven't done many good deeds, I'll throw my view on what the fuck these things are. First off: the locations. It's a thing among pretentious restaurants that they tell you where the food comes from, as though you know good locations from bad. Second: the quoting. It's a thing that people 'reinvent' concepts in food by using something in a totally abnormal technique. I'll explain it in three.
Three: The hamachi 'ravioli'. Hamachi is a nice Japanese fish food enough for sashimi (raw) service. He's saying he will shave off two squares of hamachi, then serve a quail yolk on the inside of them (taken from a recent Iron Chef I bet) and seal the edges, making a sort of ravioli. Cook quickly, then squirt some mousse made with chives and fish eggs (a Wolfgang Puck thing) and serve in a one-or-so bite dish. This would not taste good in reality.
Four: the 'prosciutto'. Prosciutto is made from cured pork, and he says he'll do it with duck (hint: not fatty and too red for great curing). He'll serve this with a mashup relish of peaches and Basque flavors (paprika maybe?) On top of it all would be a VERY sour vinaigrette (Yuzu tastes kinda like grapefruit). The texture of this dish would be awful, and he would be slapped for calling it a salad.
Finally: the duet. Beef and lobster are a classic, if overrated, pair. The barigoule is a slow-stewed artichoke dish, and braised almonds just means almost cooked slowly in a flavorful liquid. The stew and almonds might be okay (never done those together), but would have little to do with the beef and lobster.
All in all, this is Onstar making fun of pretentious food. He's spoken against it in the blogs, and this is EXACTLY the sort of shit a 20-something protochef would cook up to prove himself.
Okay, since I'm a reasonably know-it-all-asshole about food, and I haven't done many good deeds, I'll throw my view on what the fuck these things are. First off: the locations. It's a thing among pretentious restaurants that they tell you where the food comes from, as though you know good locations from bad. Second: the quoting. It's a thing that people 'reinvent' concepts in food by using something in a totally abnormal technique. I'll explain it in three.
Three: The hamachi 'ravioli'. Hamachi is a nice Japanese fish food enough for sashimi (raw) service. He's saying he will shave off two squares of hamachi, then serve a quail yolk on the inside of them (taken from a recent Iron Chef I bet) and seal the edges, making a sort of ravioli. Cook quickly, then squirt some mousse made with chives and fish eggs (a Wolfgang Puck thing) and serve in a one-or-so bite dish. This would not taste good in reality.
Four: the 'prosciutto'. Prosciutto is made from cured pork, and he says he'll do it with duck (hint: not fatty and too red for great curing). He'll serve this with a mashup relish of peaches and Basque flavors (paprika maybe?) On top of it all would be a VERY sour vinaigrette (Yuzu tastes kinda like grapefruit). The texture of this dish would be awful, and he would be slapped for calling it a salad.
Finally: the duet. Beef and lobster are a classic, if overrated, pair. The barigoule is a slow-stewed artichoke dish, and braised almonds just means almost cooked slowly in a flavorful liquid. The stew and almonds might be okay (never done those together), but would have little to do with the beef and lobster.
All in all, this is Onstar making fun of pretentious food. He's spoken against it in the blogs, and this is EXACTLY the sort of shit a 20-something protochef would cook up to prove himself.
hedonismbot
+0 -1
Oh, and sauce espagnole is a fairly simple brown sauce made with tomatoes. It would be nice on the beef, awful on the lobster, and have nothing to do with the artichokes and almonds.
Oh, and sauce espagnole is a fairly simple brown sauce made with tomatoes. It would be nice on the beef, awful on the lobster, and have nothing to do with the artichokes and almonds.
darleen
+0 -0
How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest... Djambi, the chocolate icing!
How wonderfully decadent! And just when I was beginning to lose interest... Djambi, the chocolate icing!
hbaranov
+0 -0
Isn't Hamachi a Virtual Local Area Network software package?
Isn't Hamachi a Virtual Local Area Network software package?
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Suddenly every female on Assetbar begins to reevaluate the pros and cons of being stalked by hedonismbot.
Suddenly every female on Assetbar begins to reevaluate the pros and cons of being stalked by hedonismbot.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Girls love a guy that can cook. Are you listening, guys?
Girls love a guy that can cook. Are you listening, guys?
yearsinhotclaws
+1 -0
Which is why Teodor is constantly getting action.
Which is why Teodor is constantly getting action.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I really got monster into cooking the year after I got married. Easily the worst allocation of resources ever. The minute I ensure I never get any ever again, I take up the most ass-attracting hobby there is.
I really got monster into cooking the year after I got married. Easily the worst allocation of resources ever. The minute I ensure I never get any ever again, I take up the most ass-attracting hobby there is.
gouldgonewild
+1 -1
Also, Onstar's Roadside Assistance is very useful
Also, Onstar's Roadside Assistance is very useful
doc_rostov
+19 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
lux
+0 -0
Nooo! Out of chubbies already? I must give you a V-chub, Doc.
Nooo! Out of chubbies already? I must give you a V-chub, Doc.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Hahaha, thank you for expanding my ideas. We should make this a regular thing. You can have the chubbies, I can't have the calories.
Hahaha, thank you for expanding my ideas. We should make this a regular thing. You can have the chubbies, I can't have the calories.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Dang,does anyone know whether that picture of onstad taken in York? that could well be the gardens by the minster...
Wow.
Dang,does anyone know whether that picture of onstad taken in York? that could well be the gardens by the minster...
Wow.
cailetshadow
+19 -0
CHUBBY.
though I have to call to attention the fact that the "duet" of Mycenaean beef and Welsh Lobster is a playful reference to Roast Beef (Greek) and Molly (Welsh) getting married.
CHUBBY.
though I have to call to attention the fact that the "duet" of Mycenaean beef and Welsh Lobster is a playful reference to Roast Beef (Greek) and Molly (Welsh) getting married.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Damn, good call.
Damn, good call.
hbaranov
+0 -0
So... Is Molly a snapping crustacean or am I missing something?
So... Is Molly a snapping crustacean or am I missing something?
sncether
+0 -0
Yeah, you're missing something. Molly is really bad about paying down her debts, evidenced a couple of strips back when she borrowed 50 bucks from Teodor to buy three fresh lobsters from the Stop & Shop. Teodor has been trying to collect ever since, but she keeps trying to skate on it. This is just a little dig, his way of gently getting back at her, because she "welshed" on the lobster.
Make sense now?
Oh yeah also she's from Wales
Yeah, you're missing something. Molly is really bad about paying down her debts, evidenced a couple of strips back when she borrowed 50 bucks from Teodor to buy three fresh lobsters from the Stop & Shop. Teodor has been trying to collect ever since, but she keeps trying to skate on it. This is just a little dig, his way of gently getting back at her, because she "welshed" on the lobster.
Make sense now?
Oh yeah also she's from Wales
hbaranov
+0 -1
:blinks: Damn, are you fucking with me? I don't even want to go back and check in case I look gullible. At the same time I don't want to take you at your word, anonymous internet stranger.
I think I'll just continue to be puzzled until you a proven true or false by people who quote their sources.
I do like the idea you proposed however.
My what a long, pointless windbag of a post...
:blinks: Damn, are you fucking with me? I don't even want to go back and check in case I look gullible. At the same time I don't want to take you at your word, anonymous internet stranger.
I think I'll just continue to be puzzled until you a proven true or false by people who quote their sources.
I do like the idea you proposed however.
My what a long, pointless windbag of a post...
liesandperfidy
+2 -0
I was completely going to post this and casually mention how I'd noticed something in Achewood for the first time without someone pointing it out beforehand. It would have been a great first post on Assetbar. I was so proud of me.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
I was completely going to post this and casually mention how I'd noticed something in Achewood for the first time without someone pointing it out beforehand. It would have been a great first post on Assetbar. I was so proud of me.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID.
girlandagun
+0 -0
Nice work.
Nice work.
stereo
+0 -0
Care to comment on the Ranch dressing over microwave rice?
Care to comment on the Ranch dressing over microwave rice?
quaga
+0 -0
It's one of the many things in life that is both completely disgusting and yet surprisingly good at the same time, given the proper circumstances (being drunk).
It's one of the many things in life that is both completely disgusting and yet surprisingly good at the same time, given the proper circumstances (being drunk).
girlandagun
+0 -0
I am currently working at a sushi bar, and one of the things the sushi chef will make up for me as a snack is sticky rice and spicy mayonnaise topped with raw tuna. It is shockingly good.
I am currently working at a sushi bar, and one of the things the sushi chef will make up for me as a snack is sticky rice and spicy mayonnaise topped with raw tuna. It is shockingly good.
woodjay
+0 -0
I used to work at a place called Sushi-2-Go, this was one of our top selling items, it was just called a spicy tuna roll, though you could also get it as nigiri or in a nori cone.
I used to work at a place called Sushi-2-Go, this was one of our top selling items, it was just called a spicy tuna roll, though you could also get it as nigiri or in a nori cone.
woodjay
+0 -0
Also, it is shocking how tasty mayo and cock sauce (sriracha) are together
Also, it is shocking how tasty mayo and cock sauce (sriracha) are together
mortshire
+0 -0
Mmm, my favorite burger condiments! P:
Mmm, my favorite burger condiments! P:
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Ranch, mustard, and a bit of sriracha are surprisingly tasty together.
Ranch, mustard, and a bit of sriracha are surprisingly tasty together.
comrade_tom
+1 -0
I'd have to say Dog penis medicine, dang that stuff is insane...
I'd have to say Dog penis medicine, dang that stuff is insane...
man_of_stijl
+0 -0
Damn, I thought I was the only person out there calling Siracha 'cock sauce'. That stuff is like the next pokemon-esque evolution of catsup.
Damn, I thought I was the only person out there calling Siracha 'cock sauce'. That stuff is like the next pokemon-esque evolution of catsup.
shogun
+0 -0
Hi, first time caller long time listener: Could he seal the tuna using transglutanimase, adding a newfangled 'molecular' spin to things? Also I agree; What's the DEAL with 'Sauce Brown'? Come on!
Hi, first time caller long time listener: Could he seal the tuna using transglutanimase, adding a newfangled 'molecular' spin to things? Also I agree; What's the DEAL with 'Sauce Brown'? Come on!
grunchorelaxo
+0 -0
Can you basically cook for me all the time, hedonismbot?
Can you basically cook for me all the time, hedonismbot?
rickshaw
+0 -0
A comment left by rickshaw was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, mortshire, prius_chaser, dug, HolyQ, lux)
A comment left by rickshaw was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, mortshire, prius_chaser, dug, HolyQ, lux)
yearsinhotclaws
+13 -2
Look, I am trying to cut back on responding to inane internet dipshits but its important to me that you know that you are just as annoying as anyone else who whines about what they think the rating should be.
Onstad doesn't care what people rate his comic as. Know how I know? Because I don't care what the rating is and I am not a little kitty cat with a nebulous pink fart for a brain, and neither is Onstad. I barely ever rate the strips.
So the next time you think the echo chamber of internet retards needs input from the wind tunnel of vacuous, comic-strip-rating concerned lurkers, take a look in the mirror and recognize your over-prominent forehead and bugged out eyes as indicators that the internet doesn't need to hear from you.
[IMGS OFF]
Look, I am trying to cut back on responding to inane internet dipshits but its important to me that you know that you are just as annoying as anyone else who whines about what they think the rating should be.
Onstad doesn't care what people rate his comic as. Know how I know? Because I don't care what the rating is and I am not a little kitty cat with a nebulous pink fart for a brain, and neither is Onstad. I barely ever rate the strips.
So the next time you think the echo chamber of internet retards needs input from the wind tunnel of vacuous, comic-strip-rating concerned lurkers, take a look in the mirror and recognize your over-prominent forehead and bugged out eyes as indicators that the internet doesn't need to hear from you.
[IMGS OFF]
chuvak
+0 -0
That is a really nice cake.
That is a really nice cake.
falseprophet
+5 -0
All it needs is some lady's ass.
All it needs is some lady's ass.
loneal
+0 -0
And yet that is exactly what I don't see here.
And yet that is exactly what I don't see here.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Come on loneal, time for you to step up. All you have to do really is sit on it. I hear sitting on things is what you "rich white girls" do best in between episodes of The View .
Come on loneal, time for you to step up. All you have to do really is sit on it. I hear sitting on things is what you "rich white girls" do best in between episodes of The View .
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Dog, she is hell of tiny. She would have to sit on that cake 17 different times, in various configurations, to make it decently sat upon. I can wear a wig made of loneal and crush it in one go, along with like, the rest of the table and one of the chairs. My enormous bottom looks just like a ladie's
Dog, she is hell of tiny. She would have to sit on that cake 17 different times, in various configurations, to make it decently sat upon. I can wear a wig made of loneal and crush it in one go, along with like, the rest of the table and one of the chairs. My enormous bottom looks just like a ladie's
loneal
+0 -0
Am I hell of tiny, or do I have a 200-pound ass? You have made both claims at different points in time. The world may never know the truth.
Am I hell of tiny, or do I have a 200-pound ass? You have made both claims at different points in time. The world may never know the truth.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
English language, I apologize for raping you on that last word. My bad.
English language, I apologize for raping you on that last word. My bad.
falseprophet
+0 -0
hedobear, I'm sorry but I'd rather have a tiny woman sittin on a cake 17 times and have me a nice little photo shoot of the event rather have your giant lie of an ass forever on the bad sectors of my flash card.
Sorry, bro.
hedobear, I'm sorry but I'd rather have a tiny woman sittin on a cake 17 times and have me a nice little photo shoot of the event rather have your giant lie of an ass forever on the bad sectors of my flash card.
Sorry, bro.
kickstart
+0 -0
a moment on the hips, a lifetime on the bad sectors of the flash card. As the old saying goes.
a moment on the hips, a lifetime on the bad sectors of the flash card. As the old saying goes.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
A tiny woman repeatedly sitting on a cake is something so decadent its positively Hogarthian.
A tiny woman repeatedly sitting on a cake is something so decadent its positively Hogarthian.
tekende
+0 -0
Notice that the wig is not made of loneal's hair, it is made of loneal.
Notice that the wig is not made of loneal's hair, it is made of loneal.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
She put the lotion on her skin
She put the lotion on her skin
severide
+0 -0
Or else she pimps her hoes again.
Or else she pimps her hoes again.
nbgreene
+1 -0
you are so much smarter than everyone else!
you are so much smarter than everyone else!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
When people make posts like this:
Quote:
Quote:
It isn't that hard to look smart by comparison.
When people make posts like this:
Quote:
MR MCFEELY HAHAHAHA NICE CALL HAAHAHAHAHA AJSJSHAGH
IVE NEVER BEEN TRASHED ON ASSETBAR BEFORE. THIS IS WEIRD. WHY AM I HERE? SOMEONE PLEAS ANSWER THAT QUESITON?
A;SLDKFJAS;LDKFJAS;LDKJFA;SLKDFJA;SLKDFJ
IVE NEVER BEEN TRASHED ON ASSETBAR BEFORE. THIS IS WEIRD. WHY AM I HERE? SOMEONE PLEAS ANSWER THAT QUESITON?
A;SLDKFJAS;LDKFJAS;LDKJFA;SLKDFJA;SLKDFJ
Quote:
EDEWELL I AM GOING TO CHUPBBY YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE MADE A LTO OF COOL PICTURES IN THE PAST. THIS COMMENT IS NOT VERY GOOD, BUT IM CHYUBBING YOU ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY COOL AND POPULARE ON ASSETBAR. AND YOU R PICTRE IS HAND-FACE BUT ALSO A REAL PEAICE OF ART AMAZZZZINNNG. I WONTDER IF IN REAL LIFE YOU ARE THIS POPULAR??
It isn't that hard to look smart by comparison.
achilleselbow
+1 -0
Was that a huge slam on Edwell out of nowhere? I can't really tell.
As a rule of thumb, Assetbar starts to suck the moment that it becomes self-conscious; that is, when it becomes the main subject of conversation rather than merely a forum for conversation. Just as the majority of mainstream media coverage is now devoted to what is going on in mainstream media coverage, so Assetbar risks being dragged down into an infinite morass of self-reflection and becoming mere simulacrum. This is precisely the goal of trolls who have no interest in the things most people were originally talking about and so have continuously tried (successfully, it seems) to draw attention to the medium itself.
Basically, a community of any sort is at its strongest when there is an assumed cohesion that does not have to be made explicit. For a brief while we could implicitly assume that most of us were (for the sake of rough description) reasonably intelligent 20-30 somethings who were somewhat left of center politically, slightly nerdy but still not complete social outcasts, and possessed similar interests like deadpan absurdist humor, video games, British comedy, and indie/alternative/punk music. There was a general shared understanding of what references people would get, and that no one was going to first-post or type like a YouTube user. But as soon as each one of these expectations is challenged and you're forced to defend it explicitly (and, in the process, become fully conscious of it for the first time), you realize how arbitrary and narrow these expectations are, and sooner or later the whole board is bogged down with arguments over the relative merits of this or that, and suddenly our imaginary house crumbles around us and we're left staring at the exposed wires as we see ourselves for what we truly are - a bunch of strangers arguing over the Internet. But at least for a time we were able to pretend that we were somehow different.
This post of mine here is not part of the solution, it is part of the problem, as most of my posts probably have been many times over. It's just that I've only fully realized this now and am trying to articulate it.
Was that a huge slam on Edwell out of nowhere? I can't really tell.
As a rule of thumb, Assetbar starts to suck the moment that it becomes self-conscious; that is, when it becomes the main subject of conversation rather than merely a forum for conversation. Just as the majority of mainstream media coverage is now devoted to what is going on in mainstream media coverage, so Assetbar risks being dragged down into an infinite morass of self-reflection and becoming mere simulacrum. This is precisely the goal of trolls who have no interest in the things most people were originally talking about and so have continuously tried (successfully, it seems) to draw attention to the medium itself.
Basically, a community of any sort is at its strongest when there is an assumed cohesion that does not have to be made explicit. For a brief while we could implicitly assume that most of us were (for the sake of rough description) reasonably intelligent 20-30 somethings who were somewhat left of center politically, slightly nerdy but still not complete social outcasts, and possessed similar interests like deadpan absurdist humor, video games, British comedy, and indie/alternative/punk music. There was a general shared understanding of what references people would get, and that no one was going to first-post or type like a YouTube user. But as soon as each one of these expectations is challenged and you're forced to defend it explicitly (and, in the process, become fully conscious of it for the first time), you realize how arbitrary and narrow these expectations are, and sooner or later the whole board is bogged down with arguments over the relative merits of this or that, and suddenly our imaginary house crumbles around us and we're left staring at the exposed wires as we see ourselves for what we truly are - a bunch of strangers arguing over the Internet. But at least for a time we were able to pretend that we were somehow different.
This post of mine here is not part of the solution, it is part of the problem, as most of my posts probably have been many times over. It's just that I've only fully realized this now and am trying to articulate it.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Well put. Once the majority of conversation got to be about axes, clits, that fucking Cake song and the adventures of Pumjesticles, the community became something different. I don't really think it's worse, though many might disagree.
Also, yearsinhotclaws is in a bad mood today. Can we make tomorrow a Will Someone Please Fuck Him Thursday?
Well put. Once the majority of conversation got to be about axes, clits, that fucking Cake song and the adventures of Pumjesticles, the community became something different. I don't really think it's worse, though many might disagree.
Also, yearsinhotclaws is in a bad mood today. Can we make tomorrow a Will Someone Please Fuck Him Thursday?
cromar
+0 -0
I will!
I will!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
My crappy little bullshit brother was going to bring the wii over for smash bros. He didn't and isn't answering his phone (it is 3:40 in the afternoon) so, Assetbar suffers.
My crappy little bullshit brother was going to bring the wii over for smash bros. He didn't and isn't answering his phone (it is 3:40 in the afternoon) so, Assetbar suffers.
cromar
+0 -0
All the more time for us to play with my "wii."
All the more time for us to play with my "wii."
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Sodd you man, pumjesticles has done more than you ever will!
That said I suppose I agree with the whole self referencing thing tis lame to be sure, but I still laugh at the whole pumjesticles gag.
that said, on the subject of achewood, i look foward to the return of uncle George Kazenzakis.
Sodd you man, pumjesticles has done more than you ever will!
That said I suppose I agree with the whole self referencing thing tis lame to be sure, but I still laugh at the whole pumjesticles gag.
that said, on the subject of achewood, i look foward to the return of uncle George Kazenzakis.
pogo
+0 -0
Oh so meta, my problem child is.
Oh so meta, my problem child is.
woodenteeth
+0 -0
eloquent. chubbington.
eloquent. chubbington.
rechelon
+0 -0
Personally I only rate a strip when I feel strongly about it, that is a 5 or a 1, because otherwise I don't want to be sitting there wavering among those other numbers and ultimately going with a 3 which seems to be to be a useless number. The echo chamber is itself an echo chamber of people voting it 5 because it is an Achewood strip and people voting it 4 because it is an Achewood strip but did not make them laugh and then some other people actually rating it as good/mediocre/shitty.
Personally I only rate a strip when I feel strongly about it, that is a 5 or a 1, because otherwise I don't want to be sitting there wavering among those other numbers and ultimately going with a 3 which seems to be to be a useless number. The echo chamber is itself an echo chamber of people voting it 5 because it is an Achewood strip and people voting it 4 because it is an Achewood strip but did not make them laugh and then some other people actually rating it as good/mediocre/shitty.
severide
+0 -0
Strangling owls seems hard and time-consuming, not to mention heart-breaking. They don't really have necks. It would be like trying to find the vein on a hemophiliac for a lethal injection.
Strangling owls seems hard and time-consuming, not to mention heart-breaking. They don't really have necks. It would be like trying to find the vein on a hemophiliac for a lethal injection.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
God that would be awful--being the person who has to try to find a vein for some hemophiliac prisoner's execution shot. That's an apt and evocative metaphor there. Kudos. (and it makes me wonder what the hemophiliac did to get the death penalty...or is he innocent?)
God that would be awful--being the person who has to try to find a vein for some hemophiliac prisoner's execution shot. That's an apt and evocative metaphor there. Kudos. (and it makes me wonder what the hemophiliac did to get the death penalty...or is he innocent?)
phy
+1 -0
He shot a man dead who was threatening his children with an axe, but the state is uncaring and applies the law equally in all circumstances.
He shot a man dead who was threatening his children with an axe, but the state is uncaring and applies the law equally in all circumstances.
quaga
+1 -0
This is approaching saddest thing territory.
This is approaching saddest thing territory.
daidai
+0 -0
Not if the hemophiliac was an evil hemophiliac .
Then, it's justice.
Not if the hemophiliac was an evil hemophiliac .
Then, it's justice.
kickstart
+0 -0
evil hemophiliacs are the new evil albinos.
evil hemophiliacs are the new evil albinos.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Hey Evil Hemophilliacs started world war one.
those guys are real shits.
Hey Evil Hemophilliacs started world war one.
those guys are real shits.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
The worst bit was he used my weapon. That's right, he had my AXE.
The worst bit was he used my weapon. That's right, he had my AXE.
orvel
+0 -0
Very nice. I should have seen that coming. Unfortunately, I am out of chubbies.
Very nice. I should have seen that coming. Unfortunately, I am out of chubbies.
hbaranov
+0 -0
He had my chubbies!
He had my chubbies!
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Hello Assetbar. I have returned. I looked through the last two weeks' comments, it took like, 4 hours. I missed a lot. Like the one-hour photoshop contest? Congrats edwell.
Hello Assetbar. I have returned. I looked through the last two weeks' comments, it took like, 4 hours. I missed a lot. Like the one-hour photoshop contest? Congrats edwell.
lux
+0 -0
Welcome back Gould!
Welcome back Gould!
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Oh man. I am all about the Goldberg Variations right now, and your name has made me supremely happy.
Oh man. I am all about the Goldberg Variations right now, and your name has made me supremely happy.
edwell
+0 -0
GGW's no relation, is he? I mean, I was about to say thanks and clap him on the back, but if he's going to go into shock and threaten to sue me...
GGW's no relation, is he? I mean, I was about to say thanks and clap him on the back, but if he's going to go into shock and threaten to sue me...
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I am more related to Goldsteins than Goldbergs. Also, Goulds.
Also, the goalie from Mighty Ducks, Goldberg.
I am more related to Goldsteins than Goldbergs. Also, Goulds.
Also, the goalie from Mighty Ducks, Goldberg.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
I don't know if this bears explanation, but when I initially saw your handle I thought of Glenn Gould the pianist who is well known for his playing of the Goldberg Variations.
I cannot explain why my mind goes where it does, and I can explain even less my propensity to follow it with such zeal
I don't know if this bears explanation, but when I initially saw your handle I thought of Glenn Gould the pianist who is well known for his playing of the Goldberg Variations.
I cannot explain why my mind goes where it does, and I can explain even less my propensity to follow it with such zeal
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
My last name is Gould. It's pretty Jewish. There are going to be musicians, but not many athletes. This is the way of the world.
My last name is Gould. It's pretty Jewish. There are going to be musicians, but not many athletes. This is the way of the world.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
This is what I think of when I think of gouldgonewild:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
The internet proves its uselessness again by not providing these good pictures to me upon request. I had to download a trial version of a DVD player and screen cap them.
This is what I think of when I think of gouldgonewild:
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
The internet proves its uselessness again by not providing these good pictures to me upon request. I had to download a trial version of a DVD player and screen cap them.
kickstart
+0 -0
that is pretty hot.
that is pretty hot.
margargaret
+0 -0
You can download a program to make screencaps. You don't have to do it through the player.
You can download a program to make screencaps. You don't have to do it through the player.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Can you give me the name of the program prease ? I got the player from searching for "dvd screen capture."
Can you give me the name of the program prease ? I got the player from searching for "dvd screen capture."
margargaret
+0 -0
No, I uninstalled it long ago. Also, it was program for Macs only, if I remember correctly.
No, I uninstalled it long ago. Also, it was program for Macs only, if I remember correctly.
girlandagun
+1 -0
I would like to note that this meal requires menu items to be flown from, at minimum, these countries:
Japan
Spain
Greece
Wales
France
Israel
...and upstate New York.
That's, you know, three continents.
A pretty spectacular carbon footprint, but an awesome one.
I side with Teodor, but only because he has obviously poured his heart into this one, not because the menu doesn't read like the International Guide to Sounding like a Douche.
I would like to note that this meal requires menu items to be flown from, at minimum, these countries:
Japan
Spain
Greece
Wales
France
Israel
...and upstate New York.
That's, you know, three continents.
A pretty spectacular carbon footprint, but an awesome one.
I side with Teodor, but only because he has obviously poured his heart into this one, not because the menu doesn't read like the International Guide to Sounding like a Douche.
pygmalion00
+1 -0
As a graduate student, I would literally kill to have anything made by Teodor. The fanciest meal I've had in the past six months is Rice a Roni with medallions of Oscar Meyer hot dogs.
You can always make a meal sound fancy when they contain medallions of something.
As a graduate student, I would literally kill to have anything made by Teodor. The fanciest meal I've had in the past six months is Rice a Roni with medallions of Oscar Meyer hot dogs.
You can always make a meal sound fancy when they contain medallions of something.
doc_rostov
+1 -0
Fancy food does not by nature equate to good food, Pygmalion.
Didn't George Bernard Shaw teach you anything?
Fancy food does not by nature equate to good food, Pygmalion.
Didn't George Bernard Shaw teach you anything?
pygmalion00
+1 -0
I guess you're right. One time I ate Fancy Feast when I was drunk and it was the most vile substance I've ever introduced my tastebuds to. I mean, the sound of a gourmet salmon and shrimp feast was too hard to pass up in a condensed can form.
I guess you're right. One time I ate Fancy Feast when I was drunk and it was the most vile substance I've ever introduced my tastebuds to. I mean, the sound of a gourmet salmon and shrimp feast was too hard to pass up in a condensed can form.
perilon
+3 -0
Marinated Morsels Salmon Feast in Gravy? Ketchup that bitch.
Marinated Morsels Salmon Feast in Gravy? Ketchup that bitch.
pygmalion00
+0 -0
why use ketchup when you can smother that bitch in ranch, no, BLEU CHEESE dressing?
why use ketchup when you can smother that bitch in ranch, no, BLEU CHEESE dressing?
notcool
+0 -0
I use only two real condiments, really - Ranch Dressing, and Tabasco. If one doesn't work, the other WILL.
I use only two real condiments, really - Ranch Dressing, and Tabasco. If one doesn't work, the other WILL.
kickstart
+0 -0
All this pro-ketchup talk from a pig reminded me of this Reading Rainbow book:
Mrs. Pig's Bulk Buy
Mrs. Pig tries very hard to cook foods her piglets will enjoy, but they never taste her food because they put ketchup on everything they eat. While Mrs. Pig is at the grocery store one day, she comes up with a plan to solve her problem. The piglets are delighted when Mrs. Pig stocks up on ketchup, their favorite food, until they realize it's all they will be eating. They soon tire of ketchup for every meal, and beg their mother not to buy anymore the next time she goes to the grocery store.
All this pro-ketchup talk from a pig reminded me of this Reading Rainbow book:
Mrs. Pig's Bulk Buy
Mrs. Pig tries very hard to cook foods her piglets will enjoy, but they never taste her food because they put ketchup on everything they eat. While Mrs. Pig is at the grocery store one day, she comes up with a plan to solve her problem. The piglets are delighted when Mrs. Pig stocks up on ketchup, their favorite food, until they realize it's all they will be eating. They soon tire of ketchup for every meal, and beg their mother not to buy anymore the next time she goes to the grocery store.
perilon
+0 -0
Customers Who Bought Items Like This Also Bought:
The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners
The Berenstain Bears Think of Those in Need
The Berenstain Bears' Mad, Mad, Mad Toy Craze
Showdown At The Food Pyramid ("Once there was a happy and strong food pyramid that worked hard to show people what to eat each day...")
Customers Who Bought Items Like This Also Bought:
The Berenstain Bears Forget Their Manners
The Berenstain Bears Think of Those in Need
The Berenstain Bears' Mad, Mad, Mad Toy Craze
Showdown At The Food Pyramid ("Once there was a happy and strong food pyramid that worked hard to show people what to eat each day...")
kickstart
+0 -0
the best part of the book was that the piglets, who were originally white, turned pink from all the ketchup they were eating.
the best part of the book was that the piglets, who were originally white, turned pink from all the ketchup they were eating.
falseprophet
+0 -0
I, too, was pink, until my doctor told me to stop lovin clits.
So I started lovin rims instead.
I, too, was pink, until my doctor told me to stop lovin clits.
So I started lovin rims instead.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
I know. I know what you're thinkin'. That old falseprophet sold out, right?
But let me tell you something. I love CLITS, okay? I LOVE THEM.
But not as much as I love rims.
The End
I know. I know what you're thinkin'. That old falseprophet sold out, right?
But let me tell you something. I love CLITS, okay? I LOVE THEM.
But not as much as I love rims.
The End
kamet
+0 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
woodjay
+0 -0
That is the kind of stuff that finds it's way onto an Alpo bar at some poor schmuck's wedding
That is the kind of stuff that finds it's way onto an Alpo bar at some poor schmuck's wedding
zapatos
+0 -0
I'll come cook you some meals. Where do you live, and about when do you wake up in the morning?
I'll come cook you some meals. Where do you live, and about when do you wake up in the morning?
possums
+0 -0
Man Roast Beef has been saying "uh" and awful lot where it don't fit.
And I love the strips where he and Téodor get into fights. (Like the Valentine's Day one)
Man Roast Beef has been saying "uh" and awful lot where it don't fit.
And I love the strips where he and Téodor get into fights. (Like the Valentine's Day one)
robotrodeo
+0 -1
How does onstad come up with this stuff? how does he know the words on that menu!? can somebody translate?
How does onstad come up with this stuff? how does he know the words on that menu!? can somebody translate?
quaga
+0 -0
Hedonismbot posted a breakdown above, it's got quite a few well deserved chubbies so it should be highlighted.
Hedonismbot posted a breakdown above, it's got quite a few well deserved chubbies so it should be highlighted.
mortshire
+0 -0
At this point it should be practically glowing, a beacon in the night.
At this point it should be practically glowing, a beacon in the night.
irondave
+1 -0
I think this would be a good strip to note that I received the Achewood Cookbook for Father's Day. I have prepare one recipe so far: "Diamond Juice" as submitted by Ray. It is cold vodka in a frozen glass with a lemon twist. It marked my first use of our zester, and was very tasty.
I think this would be a good strip to note that I received the Achewood Cookbook for Father's Day. I have prepare one recipe so far: "Diamond Juice" as submitted by Ray. It is cold vodka in a frozen glass with a lemon twist. It marked my first use of our zester, and was very tasty.
mikeleffel2
+0 -0
OMG owl strangling tickets. Good one onstad!
OMG owl strangling tickets. Good one onstad!
pravda
+1 -0
you guys. wait a minute. HOLD ON. STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING. the alt text you guys. the alt text of this strip. fucking brilliant.
you guys. wait a minute. HOLD ON. STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING. the alt text you guys. the alt text of this strip. fucking brilliant.
kickstart
+0 -0
see, the Soviet media is always there to pick up the stories that fall through the cracks.
see, the Soviet media is always there to pick up the stories that fall through the cracks.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
Ever checked out Pravda.ru, hillarious stuff, my favourite stories include "In ten years: Britain will be a muslim country!" and "Strange alien fish caught in caspian sea!"
Ever checked out Pravda.ru, hillarious stuff, my favourite stories include "In ten years: Britain will be a muslim country!" and "Strange alien fish caught in caspian sea!"
achilleselbow
+0 -0
I feel it necessary to plug The Exile , which might now be on the verge of getting shut down by Russian authorities. Think one part Onion and two parts Hunter S. Thompson.
I feel it necessary to plug The Exile , which might now be on the verge of getting shut down by Russian authorities. Think one part Onion and two parts Hunter S. Thompson.
pogo
+0 -0
Bum link, dude, there's no "the" in Russian
https://www.exile.ru/
Bum link, dude, there's no "the" in Russian
https://www.exile.ru/
loneal
+0 -0
Are you trying to lecture the guy who was born in the Soviet Union about Russian?
No, that's cool, man, that's cool.
Are you trying to lecture the guy who was born in the Soviet Union about Russian?
No, that's cool, man, that's cool.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
He's just correcting a mistake on the link (if there is no the in russian, I sadly have no idea) rather than slamming Achilles, I may be fluent in english but if I make a mistake, bring me up on it, God knows my ego needs deflating.
He's just correcting a mistake on the link (if there is no the in russian, I sadly have no idea) rather than slamming Achilles, I may be fluent in english but if I make a mistake, bring me up on it, God knows my ego needs deflating.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
Excellent. Then between the 'slamming Achilles' and 'I may be', you need a full-stop period, or at least a semi-colon. [/pedant]
Excellent. Then between the 'slamming Achilles' and 'I may be', you need a full-stop period, or at least a semi-colon. [/pedant]
achilleselbow
+0 -0
No one has slammed Achilles in quite a while. However, this doesn't mean that Pogo's doing so would be appreciated.
No one has slammed Achilles in quite a while. However, this doesn't mean that Pogo's doing so would be appreciated.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I was thinking of a joke involving slamming Achilles and semi-colon, but it never got off the ground.
I was thinking of a joke involving slamming Achilles and semi-colon, but it never got off the ground.
lawbot
+0 -0
Can you confirm that there is definite article in Russian? I believe there is not.
Can you confirm that there is definite article in Russian? I believe there is not.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Articles, both definite and indefinite, are among the many things the Russian language lacks (like copula and gerunds). Regardless, the newspaper in question is English-language (run by a burnout from Berkeley who moved to Moscow). So both Pogo's correction of the link and his linguistic statement were correct, but irrelevant to each other.
Articles, both definite and indefinite, are among the many things the Russian language lacks (like copula and gerunds). Regardless, the newspaper in question is English-language (run by a burnout from Berkeley who moved to Moscow). So both Pogo's correction of the link and his linguistic statement were correct, but irrelevant to each other.
lawbot
+0 -0
Hang on...Russian doesn't use the word for "one" as the definite article, even partially? That is odd.
Hang on...Russian doesn't use the word for "one" as the definite article, even partially? That is odd.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Yea, dude. The only time you would say "one codpiece" is if you were actually pointing out that there was one codpiece and not two or three. Other than that, you pretty much have to figure out from context whether you're talking about a particular or general thing, and sometimes it's intentionally vague. Overall it has the effect of sounding more poetic. "Codpiece is put on, mayonnaise jar is opened."
Pushkin I am not.
Yea, dude. The only time you would say "one codpiece" is if you were actually pointing out that there was one codpiece and not two or three. Other than that, you pretty much have to figure out from context whether you're talking about a particular or general thing, and sometimes it's intentionally vague. Overall it has the effect of sounding more poetic. "Codpiece is put on, mayonnaise jar is opened."
Pushkin I am not.
lawbot
+0 -0
vChub
vChub
pogo
+0 -0
It's what gives the Russian accent its off-cadence in English, the speed bumps of missing articles.
It's what gives the Russian accent its off-cadence in English, the speed bumps of missing articles.
margargaret
+1 -0
Oh I am so tempted. I shouldn't, but... oh, okay:
In Soviet Russian, article does not have you!
Oh I am so tempted. I shouldn't, but... oh, okay:
In Soviet Russian, article does not have you!
comrade_tom
+0 -0
The robot raises a fair point, I'd love to say I put that there deliberately...
The robot raises a fair point, I'd love to say I put that there deliberately...
tekende
+0 -0
The alt text is the reason I gave this strip a 4 rather than a 3.
The alt text is the reason I gave this strip a 4 rather than a 3.
gin_with_bears
+0 -0
Teodor is huffy because he was trying to impress Molly through his food, cause he knew it was wrong through his hardness. He new Beef would never go for this menu.
Teodor is huffy because he was trying to impress Molly through his food, cause he knew it was wrong through his hardness. He new Beef would never go for this menu.
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
perhaps society did his nerves up wretched
perhaps society did his nerves up wretched
phy
+1 -0
Which Olympics? Cause ours got us a mass transit system which is like the exact opposite of a carbon footprint if you've ever played simcity. Maybe he meant Seoul, I heard they had events like the 100-m Blast Furnace and the Burning Pitch Toss.
Which Olympics? Cause ours got us a mass transit system which is like the exact opposite of a carbon footprint if you've ever played simcity. Maybe he meant Seoul, I heard they had events like the 100-m Blast Furnace and the Burning Pitch Toss.
mattfish
+5 -0
[IMGS OFF]
[IMGS OFF]
woodjay
+0 -0
outta chubbies, too late my friend
outta chubbies, too late my friend
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by quaga, Prine, lux)
A comment left by gladi8orrex was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by quaga, Prine, lux)
meddle
+0 -0
Glad to see some old-school alt text. I've always gotten a kick out of that format. Also enjoy the idea of raccoons growing in front lawns.
Glad to see some old-school alt text. I've always gotten a kick out of that format. Also enjoy the idea of raccoons growing in front lawns.
prius_chaser
+0 -0
This is one of those strips where even if you can't read, you can tell that the little bear character is being a prima donna.
This is one of those strips where even if you can't read, you can tell that the little bear character is being a prima donna.
dabigv13
+0 -1
Beef sucks. That menu looks delicious.
Beef sucks. That menu looks delicious.
lawbot
+0 -0
no.
no.
davey-boy
+0 -0
Beef got so mad that he introduced punctuation into his sentences.
Beef got so mad that he introduced punctuation into his sentences.
reddwarf
+3 -0
I might be reading way too much into this comic, but I wonder if Tedor made that menu subconsciously knowing that it would go against the grain of what Beef wants, and then he jumped at the chance to make a mountain out of a mole hill, because subconsciously, under the surface, there is this conflict between Tedor and Roast Beef whereby Tedor wants to bone Beef's fiance.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into this... But then again, I've been going back and re-reading strips, and man, this comic can deliver one-liners sometimes, and other times, it really is that deep and premeditated...
I might be reading way too much into this comic, but I wonder if Tedor made that menu subconsciously knowing that it would go against the grain of what Beef wants, and then he jumped at the chance to make a mountain out of a mole hill, because subconsciously, under the surface, there is this conflict between Tedor and Roast Beef whereby Tedor wants to bone Beef's fiance.
Or maybe I'm reading too much into this... But then again, I've been going back and re-reading strips, and man, this comic can deliver one-liners sometimes, and other times, it really is that deep and premeditated...
mattfish
+0 -0
It's probably moving in that direction, yeah
It's probably moving in that direction, yeah
johnnylandmine
+2 -0
T is totally passive-agressiving the fuck out of Beef here. "Oh, right. That's your big thing these days. I know this, but I am going to make an amateur's flashy menu because it will be a source of conflict."
Fuck you, Teodor.
T is totally passive-agressiving the fuck out of Beef here. "Oh, right. That's your big thing these days. I know this, but I am going to make an amateur's flashy menu because it will be a source of conflict."
Fuck you, Teodor.
phy
+0 -2
I know this is the Internet and all, where English is the mind's plaything . but did you have to make a verb out of " passive-aggressive "? What sequence of events do you go through to make that an awesome idea?
I know this is the Internet and all, where English is the mind's plaything . but did you have to make a verb out of " passive-aggressive "? What sequence of events do you go through to make that an awesome idea?
reddwarf
+1 -0
oh come come stop term-dicking the poor fellow
oh come come stop term-dicking the poor fellow
hamscout
+1 -1
Did somebody say: "Turducken"???
[IMGS OFF]
Did somebody say: "Turducken"???
[IMGS OFF]
odei
+0 -0
No.
No.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Fuck that. Yes.
Fuck that. Yes.
odei
+0 -0
Ok, maybe.
Ok, maybe.
edwell
+0 -0
Verbing awesomes language.
Verbing awesomes language.
hbaranov
+0 -0
I'll verb your noun or adjective anytime.
I'll verb your noun or adjective anytime.
ethelthefrog
+0 -0
I'd chubby that.
I'd chubby that.
johnnylandmine
+0 -0
I'll admit I usually have a pretty strong distaste for verbing, myself, but between the fact that I studied Japanese in college (and verbing is one of the foundations of the language) and the fact that I was moderately drunk when I posted that, we get verbing.
I'll admit I usually have a pretty strong distaste for verbing, myself, but between the fact that I studied Japanese in college (and verbing is one of the foundations of the language) and the fact that I was moderately drunk when I posted that, we get verbing.
phy
+0 -0
Passive-aggressive seemed to be a particularly clunky adjective to verbify, but I suppose if I'm using words like "verbify" I'm one to talk. Anyway much greater sins against language have been committed when under the spell of the little water. I never did figure out what I meant when I typed "defeace packin easkil" that one time.
Passive-aggressive seemed to be a particularly clunky adjective to verbify, but I suppose if I'm using words like "verbify" I'm one to talk. Anyway much greater sins against language have been committed when under the spell of the little water. I never did figure out what I meant when I typed "defeace packin easkil" that one time.
pogo
+0 -0
Why "defeace packin easkil" means "bite my dick" in Urdu.
Why "defeace packin easkil" means "bite my dick" in Urdu.
falseprophet
+0 -0
Oi, johnnylandmine. Boku mo daigaku de nihongo wo benkyoushimashita. Demo, intaanetto wa nihongo hanasu Amerika-jin ga totemo 'gay' to omote da kara, I'll switch back to English and maintain sovereignty over my ass.
Translation: Hey johnnylandmine. I also studied Japanese in college. But since the internet thinks that Americans who speak only in Japanese are very gay ...
Oi, johnnylandmine. Boku mo daigaku de nihongo wo benkyoushimashita. Demo, intaanetto wa nihongo hanasu Amerika-jin ga totemo 'gay' to omote da kara, I'll switch back to English and maintain sovereignty over my ass.
Translation: Hey johnnylandmine. I also studied Japanese in college. But since the internet thinks that Americans who speak only in Japanese are very gay ...
pogo
+1 -0
I like it, but it should be "passive-aggressing"
I like it, but it should be "passive-aggressing"
colorlessness
+0 -0
Correct.
Correct.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
I think it's fiancee, with two e's, because it's a woman. Is that right?
Also, an accent or something. Maybe an umlaut.
I think it's fiancee, with two e's, because it's a woman. Is that right?
Also, an accent or something. Maybe an umlaut.
lux
+0 -0
The accent pointing the to the right, the acute one. The name eludes me.
The accent pointing the to the right, the acute one. The name eludes me.
pogo
+0 -0
Accent grave, perhaps?
Accent grave, perhaps?
teabag_mel
+0 -0
No, grave is in the other direction. Acute is the one that points up and to the right.
No, grave is in the other direction. Acute is the one that points up and to the right.
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
Coupon: 1$ off Accent Gravy with the purchase of any Mycanaean Beef
Coupon: 1$ off Accent Gravy with the purchase of any Mycanaean Beef
quantumcasaba
+0 -0
Before I get the chance to regret this post:
I waited for so long to be among the first of viewers and assetbar posters, then I forsook my duties for much beer and vodka/mountain dew. Now I am behind the times, and I would almost regret this decision except for the fact that I have had many Good Times in the real world that is not contingent upon internet updating.
As much as I loathe the fine flavors of mountain dew, it is a good choice for those who want to be drunk and awake simultaneously.
My feelings on my own asset will be negative once I'm sober, but the hell if ya'll care since I ain't got no sense of social sense anyway.
Before I get the chance to regret this post:
I waited for so long to be among the first of viewers and assetbar posters, then I forsook my duties for much beer and vodka/mountain dew. Now I am behind the times, and I would almost regret this decision except for the fact that I have had many Good Times in the real world that is not contingent upon internet updating.
As much as I loathe the fine flavors of mountain dew, it is a good choice for those who want to be drunk and awake simultaneously.
My feelings on my own asset will be negative once I'm sober, but the hell if ya'll care since I ain't got no sense of social sense anyway.
edwell
+26 -1
[IMGS OFF]
ALT TEXT: The invisible man affords the revered comic leeway.
[IMGS OFF]
ALT TEXT: The invisible man affords the revered comic leeway.
bixschmix
+0 -0
Edwell you are my hero.
Edwell you are my hero.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Wow, that is a nice one edwell.
Hint to others: There is a good reason this is a gif.
Wow, that is a nice one edwell.
Hint to others: There is a good reason this is a gif.
hbaranov
+0 -0
Alas too late to chubby a well deserved image. Your next non photo post when I get the fresh chubbies, I will chubby in lieu
Alas too late to chubby a well deserved image. Your next non photo post when I get the fresh chubbies, I will chubby in lieu
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
Yes. A Place For My Stuff was formative for me. As it realtes to food and this strip, I offer "Ice Box Man"
Do people do that with you? Offer you some food that if you don't eat it, they're only going to throw it away. Well, doesn't that make you feel dandy? "Here's something to eat, Dave. Hurry up, it's spoiling!" "Something for you, Angela. Eat quickly, that green part is moving!" "Here, Bob. Eat this before I give it to an animal."
Yes. A Place For My Stuff was formative for me. As it realtes to food and this strip, I offer "Ice Box Man"
Do people do that with you? Offer you some food that if you don't eat it, they're only going to throw it away. Well, doesn't that make you feel dandy? "Here's something to eat, Dave. Hurry up, it's spoiling!" "Something for you, Angela. Eat quickly, that green part is moving!" "Here, Bob. Eat this before I give it to an animal."
onepapertiger
+0 -0
V-chub.
V-chub.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I want to point out that a basically anonymous cockloaf named Daravon lamed this. This person has never posted, and has seen 18 strips while logged in. This is the sort of person who doubles Edwells lame count. I would shove a burning cat in your urethra if I could.
I want to point out that a basically anonymous cockloaf named Daravon lamed this. This person has never posted, and has seen 18 strips while logged in. This is the sort of person who doubles Edwells lame count. I would shove a burning cat in your urethra if I could.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
I thought that "Anonymous Cockloaf" was one of the dishes Teodor was considering, then passed on, because he ran out of those special imported cocks from Thailand. That, and Testicle Ragout.
I thought that "Anonymous Cockloaf" was one of the dishes Teodor was considering, then passed on, because he ran out of those special imported cocks from Thailand. That, and Testicle Ragout.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
He replaced that dish with feline-stuffed urethra
He replaced that dish with feline-stuffed urethra
skoora
+0 -0
"Vittles Bitch" is now the king of all phrases.
"Vittles Bitch" is now the king of all phrases.
chuvak
+0 -0
I know a lot of vittles bitches and didn't ever know what to call them. My younger brother's refusal to drink anything but 10$ beers, or his insistence on buying artisan butter - these make him a vittles bitch.
I know a lot of vittles bitches and didn't ever know what to call them. My younger brother's refusal to drink anything but 10$ beers, or his insistence on buying artisan butter - these make him a vittles bitch.
grunchorelaxo
+1 -0
I have a hard time believing Beef's carbon hangup when he drives around in this thing.
I have a hard time believing Beef's carbon hangup when he drives around in this thing.
phy
+1 -0
You know how when you approach a small animal, like a squirrel or a weasel, that has found some delicious food, and it wants to run away from you but at the same time eat the food? It will dance madly around the morsel, eating as fast as it can while still trying to keep out of your imagined, horrible grasp.
This is the process Beef's mind goes through when considering both carbon neutrality and a cammer 427. He can't bear to part with such a burly and manful ride, so he takes hell of effort elsewhere to offset its prodigious emissions.
You know how when you approach a small animal, like a squirrel or a weasel, that has found some delicious food, and it wants to run away from you but at the same time eat the food? It will dance madly around the morsel, eating as fast as it can while still trying to keep out of your imagined, horrible grasp.
This is the process Beef's mind goes through when considering both carbon neutrality and a cammer 427. He can't bear to part with such a burly and manful ride, so he takes hell of effort elsewhere to offset its prodigious emissions.
pogo
+0 -0
Gee, that sounds exactly like how women react to my dick, "... dance madly around the morsel, eating as fast as it can while still trying to keep out of your imagined, horrible grasp."
Gee, that sounds exactly like how women react to my dick, "... dance madly around the morsel, eating as fast as it can while still trying to keep out of your imagined, horrible grasp."
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I will pay a sum of fifty American dollars to Edwell for making and animated gif of this one.
I will pay a sum of fifty American dollars to Edwell for making and animated gif of this one.
pogo
+0 -0
And I'll pay fifty-five to prevent such a tragedy.
And I'll pay fifty-five to prevent such a tragedy.
cromar
+0 -0
$60!
$60!
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Is there any reason the 1988 Olympics would have a bigger carbon footprint than any other Olympics?
Is there any reason the 1988 Olympics would have a bigger carbon footprint than any other Olympics?
kickstart
+0 -0
It was the last Olympics before Earth Day 1990, when everyone started pretending to give a crap?
It was the last Olympics before Earth Day 1990, when everyone started pretending to give a crap?
sncether
+0 -0
At the 1988 Olympics, instead of an Olympic Torch they had an Olympic Tire Fire.
At the 1988 Olympics, instead of an Olympic Torch they had an Olympic Tire Fire.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
It's an ancient Korean tradition.
It's an ancient Korean tradition.
spaceseeker51
+0 -0
Awwww, and Teodor was going to use his special Hawaiian wasabi stock for the hamachi ravioli. Everyone would have been like "damn-daaaaammmmnnn!!" at the kick of it.
Awwww, and Teodor was going to use his special Hawaiian wasabi stock for the hamachi ravioli. Everyone would have been like "damn-daaaaammmmnnn!!" at the kick of it.
pogo
+0 -0
PLEASE EAT HEALTHY
I am shocked and appalled at the dietary tales being told here. Carbs and fats, no veggies, no minerals, no vitamins! The long-term damage being done to your growing bodies saddens me. Please try to at least chug a V8 now and then, and try a salad, too. If nothing else, take a multivitamin with your rice and ranch. With the proper diet, you can become a randy, disease free 59-year-old like me with the mind and energy of a late adolescent.
PLEASE EAT HEALTHY
I am shocked and appalled at the dietary tales being told here. Carbs and fats, no veggies, no minerals, no vitamins! The long-term damage being done to your growing bodies saddens me. Please try to at least chug a V8 now and then, and try a salad, too. If nothing else, take a multivitamin with your rice and ranch. With the proper diet, you can become a randy, disease free 59-year-old like me with the mind and energy of a late adolescent.
snidedk
+0 -0
You mean... if I eat my veggies, I can grow up to be just like you , uncle Pogo?
AWESOME!
You mean... if I eat my veggies, I can grow up to be just like you , uncle Pogo?
AWESOME!
kickstart
+0 -0
Summary: pogo will cock-slap you if you coulda, shoulda had a V8
Summary: pogo will cock-slap you if you coulda, shoulda had a V8
colorlessness
+0 -0
At least people seem to be getting a fair amount of protein, eating all that meat.
At least people seem to be getting a fair amount of protein, eating all that meat.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I know your mom is getting plenty of protein. FROM ME
I know your mom is getting plenty of protein. FROM ME
perilon
+0 -0
ketchup that bitch
...
?
ketchup that bitch
...
?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
If it looks like ketchup, see a doctor. If it tastes like ketchup, call me at home.
If it looks like ketchup, see a doctor. If it tastes like ketchup, call me at home.
colorlessness
+0 -0
Yes, that's exactly the kind of meat I was thinking of.
Yes, that's exactly the kind of meat I was thinking of.
cromar
+0 -0
Too much protein leaches calcium from your bones. Most Americans eat more protein than they should.
Too much protein leaches calcium from your bones. Most Americans eat more protein than they should.
achilleselbow
+0 -0
Pogo cares very much about our growing bodies.
Pogo cares very much about our growing bodies.
loneal
+0 -0
Is this, like, an old guy thing? An old-guy cashier once lectured me for buying milk that was not fat-free. It was like the opposite of that scene in Napoleon Dynamite. I can put anything I like in my growing body, dammit!
(If you are into easy targets, I wrote that last sentence for you.)
Is this, like, an old guy thing? An old-guy cashier once lectured me for buying milk that was not fat-free. It was like the opposite of that scene in Napoleon Dynamite. I can put anything I like in my growing body, dammit!
(If you are into easy targets, I wrote that last sentence for you.)
perilon
+0 -0
Such as... apple turnover with whipped cream and a nice glass of milk on the side??
Such as... apple turnover with whipped cream and a nice glass of milk on the side??
falseprophet
+0 -0
That reminds me of a horrible joke I devised once. In college they served this thing in the dining hall called a Mexican turnover.
The set-up is "How do you make a Mexican turnover?"
... I think we all know how that turned out.
That reminds me of a horrible joke I devised once. In college they served this thing in the dining hall called a Mexican turnover.
The set-up is "How do you make a Mexican turnover?"
... I think we all know how that turned out.
tekende
+0 -0
I don't, no. What was the punchline?
I don't, no. What was the punchline?
falseprophet
+0 -0
I do not believe you for a second tekende you minor man
You give her another fifty bucks.
I'm watchin you
I do not believe you for a second tekende you minor man
You give her another fifty bucks.
I'm watchin you
tekende
+0 -0
I don't...is the implication that Mexican women are usually prostitutes?
I'm sorry, falseprophet, I do not get this joke.
I don't...is the implication that Mexican women are usually prostitutes?
I'm sorry, falseprophet, I do not get this joke.
irondave
+0 -0
Don't be obtuse. Now I'm watchin' you too.
Don't be obtuse. Now I'm watchin' you too.
tekende
+0 -0
I'm serious, I don't get it. I guess I'm not up to date on offensive Mexican stereotypes.
I'm serious, I don't get it. I guess I'm not up to date on offensive Mexican stereotypes.
loneal
+0 -0
Me neither. Maybe ju an' me are amigos!
Me neither. Maybe ju an' me are amigos!
woodjay
+0 -0
I don't get it, is the stereotype basically that mexacan people make friends for superfluous reasons?
I don't get it, is the stereotype basically that mexacan people make friends for superfluous reasons?
pogo
+1 -0
Did I hear "easy target"? Move it a little closer, please, ah, there now, your growing body should enjoy some aged meat once in a while.
Did I hear "easy target"? Move it a little closer, please, ah, there now, your growing body should enjoy some aged meat once in a while.
yearsinhotclaws
+0 -0
Probably the most graphic and disturbing of pogos comments to date.
Probably the most graphic and disturbing of pogos comments to date.
onepapertiger
+0 -0
DAMMIT POGO WHY
DAMMIT POGO WHY
daidai
+0 -0
...grandpa?
...grandpa?
hedonismbot
+0 -0
I got this one. The fat in milk is pretty much the worst fat you can imbibe. The small amount in whole milk is still significant due to the awful nature of the lipids themselves. Further, at your age, you really shouldn't be growing much anymore. You need to drink plenty of milk, as osteoporosis is a concern you should deal with early, but growth is pretty well finished.
Is that what you were setting up? Did I fail?
I got this one. The fat in milk is pretty much the worst fat you can imbibe. The small amount in whole milk is still significant due to the awful nature of the lipids themselves. Further, at your age, you really shouldn't be growing much anymore. You need to drink plenty of milk, as osteoporosis is a concern you should deal with early, but growth is pretty well finished.
Is that what you were setting up? Did I fail?
paperboy_2000
+0 -0
An old guy in a supermarket once lectured my friend for wearing a Circle Jerks T-shirt. He was all "Do you know what a circle jerk is!?!". My friend made the bad decision to fake ignorance, "uh-uh." So then the old guy figures he has to tell him, so he whispers it into my friend's ear.
CREEEPY!
An old guy in a supermarket once lectured my friend for wearing a Circle Jerks T-shirt. He was all "Do you know what a circle jerk is!?!". My friend made the bad decision to fake ignorance, "uh-uh." So then the old guy figures he has to tell him, so he whispers it into my friend's ear.
CREEEPY!
hatcatrat
+0 -0
i love ham
i love ham
gouldgonewild
+0 -0
...me...me too?
...me...me too?
gmm
+0 -0
Panel 3 earns this a 5.
Panel 3 earns this a 5.
achewood
+0 -0
Teodor aka Chris Onstad is an Asshole.
Teodor aka Chris Onstad is an Asshole.
evolume
+0 -0
haha @ "Ravioli" and "Prosciutto"
haha @ "Ravioli" and "Prosciutto"
evolume
+0 -0
My mom, who's Japanese, told me a story about when she married my American dad, he used to put tartar sauce on everything including fried rice. Anyway, dinner must have been a success because, well here I am.
My mom, who's Japanese, told me a story about when she married my American dad, he used to put tartar sauce on everything including fried rice. Anyway, dinner must have been a success because, well here I am.
tekende
+0 -0
This reminds me of two things:
1. A story I read in elementary school in which an American military person during, I think, WW2, had a date with an Asian girl. The man spent days learning to use chopsticks and the girl spent days learning to use a fork and knife. In the end, maybe it didn't matter? I can't remember what happened.
2. When my grandparents were young and newly married, my grandma asked my grandad what he wanted for dinner that night, and he told her he wanted chili and rice (I don't know, I guess his mom used to make it?). Grandma didn't know how to cook rice so she called her mom and asked how to do it, but neglected to mention that there was going to be chili on the rice. Her mom's method of cooking rice involved putting sugar on it for flavor. So that evening Grandad received sugary rice and chili for dinner. That particular dinner was not a success, but here I am anyway.
This reminds me of two things:
1. A story I read in elementary school in which an American military person during, I think, WW2, had a date with an Asian girl. The man spent days learning to use chopsticks and the girl spent days learning to use a fork and knife. In the end, maybe it didn't matter? I can't remember what happened.
2. When my grandparents were young and newly married, my grandma asked my grandad what he wanted for dinner that night, and he told her he wanted chili and rice (I don't know, I guess his mom used to make it?). Grandma didn't know how to cook rice so she called her mom and asked how to do it, but neglected to mention that there was going to be chili on the rice. Her mom's method of cooking rice involved putting sugar on it for flavor. So that evening Grandad received sugary rice and chili for dinner. That particular dinner was not a success, but here I am anyway.
kickstart
+1 -0
holy COW it is Reading Rainbow day here on assetbar.
How My Parents Learned To Eat
An American sailor courts a Japanese girl and each tries, in secret, to learn the other's way of eating. The two discover that when learning to eat using different tableware, manners, and customs, people often encounter problems, as well as triumphs.
[url=https://pbskids.org/readingrainbow/books/episode_detail_039.html]But you don't have to take *my* word for it[/i]
holy COW it is Reading Rainbow day here on assetbar.
How My Parents Learned To Eat
An American sailor courts a Japanese girl and each tries, in secret, to learn the other's way of eating. The two discover that when learning to eat using different tableware, manners, and customs, people often encounter problems, as well as triumphs.
[url=https://pbskids.org/readingrainbow/books/episode_detail_039.html]But you don't have to take *my* word for it[/i]
sncether
+0 -0
Is that you, Geordie LaForge?
Is that you, Geordie LaForge?
falseprophet
+0 -0
In the B plot, the American sailor's buddies commit rape. Check your local listings.
In the B plot, the American sailor's buddies commit rape. Check your local listings.
tekende
+0 -0
Oh awesome that is so radical kickstart
Virtual chubby for you
Oh awesome that is so radical kickstart
Virtual chubby for you
pogo
+0 -0
Yes, but after that sugary rice chili fiasco, you're probably here thanks to the mailman.
Yes, but after that sugary rice chili fiasco, you're probably here thanks to the mailman.
tekende
+0 -0
Perhaps, but if so, it is indirect.
Perhaps, but if so, it is indirect.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, Stereo, daidai, hedonismbot, rechelon, Severide, Cantilever, _cheesekayke, quaga, loneal, Perilon, grunchorelaxo, freelancelove, motts)
A comment left by desert_donkey was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by yearsinhotclaws, Stereo, daidai, hedonismbot, rechelon, Severide, Cantilever, _cheesekayke, quaga, loneal, Perilon, grunchorelaxo, freelancelove, motts)
colorlessness
+1 -1
marriage: totally gay
marriage: totally gay
margargaret
+0 -1
"it makes sense for their over the top lifestyles and sexual permiscuity."
Would someone please lame this guy for me.
"it makes sense for their over the top lifestyles and sexual permiscuity."
Would someone please lame this guy for me.
hedonismbot
+0 -0
As you wish, talking glass of red wine.
As you wish, talking glass of red wine.
comrade_tom
+0 -0
If theres one thing those "Homosexuals" enjoy more than depraved conga lines and sentimental musicals, its permiscuity!
Really this sort of thing would never happened in Harding's day!
If theres one thing those "Homosexuals" enjoy more than depraved conga lines and sentimental musicals, its permiscuity!
Really this sort of thing would never happened in Harding's day!
woodenteeth
+0 -0
Permiscuity = Perms whenever they like...
I hope they use conditioner.
Permiscuity = Perms whenever they like...
I hope they use conditioner.
pogo
+0 -0
Bartender, I'll have some of whatever Desert Donkey has been drinking -- or smoking, as the case may be -- snorting?
Bartender, I'll have some of whatever Desert Donkey has been drinking -- or smoking, as the case may be -- snorting?
deus
+0 -0
or shot, or inserted rectally.
or shot, or inserted rectally.
hedonismbot
+1 -0
I'm not really into the day until after my meth enema.
I'm not really into the day until after my meth enema.
deus
+1 -0
Maybe... with my ritalin....no NO bad idea.
Maybe... with my ritalin....no NO bad idea.
stereo
+0 -0
My parents got married all justice of the peace style, with only immediate family members (3 siblings, 1 sibling's spouse, and 4 parents) attending, and I respect that.
I don't agree with your impression of gays. Enough said.
My parents got married all justice of the peace style, with only immediate family members (3 siblings, 1 sibling's spouse, and 4 parents) attending, and I respect that.
I don't agree with your impression of gays. Enough said.
chaesar
+0 -0
The caterer is always a problem. Always.
The caterer is always a problem. Always.
desert_donkey
+0 -0
it'da been funnier if you said "The catheter is always the problem. Always."
it'da been funnier if you said "The catheter is always the problem. Always."
freelancelove
+0 -0
True fact: Feist performed in the 88 Olympics as one of the child dancers, from which she apparently got the idea for the video for "1234". WILD!
True fact: Feist performed in the 88 Olympics as one of the child dancers, from which she apparently got the idea for the video for "1234". WILD!
falseprophet
+1 -0
Hey did somebody lose this?
[IMGS OFF]
You can't just leave this lying around man I tripped over this and nearly broke my neck
Hey did somebody lose this?
[IMGS OFF]
You can't just leave this lying around man I tripped over this and nearly broke my neck
number6
+1 -0
Teodor has learned not to get people tickets to see owls get strangled. Although the repercussions will forever remain.
Teodor has learned not to get people tickets to see owls get strangled. Although the repercussions will forever remain.
wittyname
+0 -0
What a terrible thing(s) for T to say.
What a terrible thing(s) for T to say.
jonbaltrusaitis
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Very, very funny! My favorite in a long time.
Very, very funny! My favorite in a long time.
carousel
+0 -0
"Amuse Gueule"?
What a classy alternative to "amuse bouche."
"Amuse Gueule"?
What a classy alternative to "amuse bouche."
philophobe
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Man, everyone's hatin' on owl strangulation these days. Old times, we used to call that performance art .
Man, everyone's hatin' on owl strangulation these days. Old times, we used to call that performance art .
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
vittlesbitch. that is hell of accurate way to describe teodor.
vittlesbitch. that is hell of accurate way to describe teodor.
lordsorasen
+0 -0
I'm not even sure how Teodor knows what Happy Beef looks like.
I'm not even sure how Teodor knows what Happy Beef looks like.
Comment left by 111l1l1llll11ll ignored.
Comment left by 111l1l1llll11ll ignored.
first to call you a fool and get lamed for it maybe!!
My third eye read that as "first to call you a tool".
Accordingly, a Tool icon.
A comment left by sagoon was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by possums, nicklon, dasilodavi)
Chubby for that note
Chubby for that letter
Psuedo-chubby for that pomme de terre.
Chubby for that Clerks: The Animated Series .
chubby for Revolver
Earth Apple? Wow, the french are retarded if they think potatos taste like apples.
You saw what he did there.
Hardly worth prying it open for really
Assetbar uh there is a dumb moron ruinin' the comments if that's a thing
Control. It's him all right.
Yeah, the guy from the flyer
As if Assetbar were self-aware and could police itself. All hella deletin' accounts and electrocuting fools through the web. As if Assetbar were Skynet or something.
...
Okay, I just scared myself.
My first thought to this was Assetbar as Wintermute
totally brainwashing a Russian war vet... all killing off some drug addled has been's lover, setting them on a course to your house with a razor totting ex-hooker.
Calling you every time you walk past a payphone just to fuck with your head.
The sky was the color of a lurker refreshing a dead thread.
Good to see Pynchon rear his ugly head again.
I was gonna make this about how his metaphor was actually true, but when I got around to seein' Thomas Pynchon's head, it wasn't as ugly as I remembered. So here's his head, which I was gonna use to show you how ugly it is: [IMGS OFF]
Are you sure that isn't Adam Corolla back in his bi-curious days?
so funny & too true.
Back in his bi-curious days?
I'd never even noticed that before now, but the resemblance is there. Bastard son, anyone?
It's the horse teeth.
My memory amplified those, which is why I thought he was really ugly. As it is, I can see why he would want to be a recluse, but I don't think that he really should be. He's not that bad looking.
"It's hard for reporters to believe that somebody doesn't want to talk to them."
Maybe Billie Piper is a long-lost niece?
people join the navy because they are bi-curious.
In the Navy!
Yes, you can sail the seven seas!
In the Navy!
Yes, you can put your mind at ease!
In the Navy!
About your sexual tendencies!
In the Navy!
Come on, protect the motherland!
In the Navy!
Pitch in your tentatively effeminate hand!
In the Navy!
Come on and join your fellow man! *WINK*
In the Navy
And if that doesn't work you, you can always go back to Lisa, even though she's a little overweight and really wants to have kids as soon as your tour is over, and obviously you're not ready for that stage of your life yet, since you don't even know if it's really Lisa you want and not her brother Tom! Come on, how long can you use that "visiting Lisa" excuse to play Marco Polo with her brother in their above ground pool? Like nobody's going to catch on? Her Dad's already quizzing you about how you'd rate the female Wheel-of-Fortune contestants on a scale from 1-10; he's definitely starting to wonder. Besides, you've always wanted to see Vladivostok, right?
In the Navy!
"well, who doesn't like seaman?"
"Good to see Pynchon rear his ugly head again. "
Dude, I loved that show. Balky was so funny! It's 'cause he's foreign!
He had a pet stuffed sheep named Dimitri.
Mad respect for the Gibson reference.
Hopefully it gets the recognition.
Mad recognition for the Gibson reference. Those who don't get it, can read Neuromancer here
PS if you fail me BBCode, I will return, stronger than you can imagine.
Gibson reference? What, is it from Mad Max or something?
Assetbar is nowhere near competent enough to be Skynet.
Maybe a skynet that gets everything wrong and becomes terribly embarassed and apologetic about the whole thing.
Prime Directve: Destroy All Organic Life
OH SHIT I MEAN DIRECTIVE SORRY GUYS
Pr me D rect ve: Remove all " 's" from the nternet speech of organ c L fe.
LOVE CL TS
Every time I see your posts at first I think they were someone else's bbcode fuck-up.
Teodor brought the pain. That's a *LOUSY* menu.
Don't be a prima posta dude this is our assetbar and plus nobody on the internets is gonna understand your typo
what i don't get is ... why it matters if beef's family won't understand the food ... they are all apparently in prison for the wedding.
I suspect he's going to bail them all out the day-of, so as to prevent them from causing any problems until the last possible moment.
Or at least that's my theory on why it took my sister so long to come up with $500. That was a rough couple of week for me.
/ ! \ You don't have spam marking privileges.
: (
those two cute dots underneath the exclamation point were completely unintended yet quite captivating
How is the privilege to mark spam assessed and assigned?
I'm not sure but a person of my standing in the community should have it readily at his disposal.
I dunno.. you are known for being "irate".
And I am known for being borderline criminal in my creepiness, and yet I can mark smap.
I've always been able to mark spam, and I don't know why.
"a person of my standing" you sound like such a 'mo.
(not insult clerks reference blame kamet's avatar)
I am insulted by the existence of Kevin Smith.
I'm so sorry.
Man, I saw Jersey Girl.
Man.