ketamind
+1 -0
wait
just googled merkin
ewwwwww
wait
just googled merkin
ewwwwww
pmbarrett
+3 -0
i googled your mom's merkin.
(it was gross)
i googled your mom's merkin.
(it was gross)
omegatron
+0 -0
https://img376.imageshack.us/img376/4603/merkin2bfns1.png
https://img376.imageshack.us/img376/4603/merkin2bfns1.png
ratacattt
+0 -0
wow
wow
omegatron
+1 -0
I thought you didn't like images.
I thought you didn't like images.
vondicus
+3 -0
Eyes full of horror, fist full of merkin.
Eyes full of horror, fist full of merkin.
lolsworth
+0 -0
It is what it looks like it is.
It is what it looks like it is.
deus
+0 -0
But..how do they...like..stay on...what if there were a plugin merkin.
That would be arousing.
But..how do they...like..stay on...what if there were a plugin merkin.
That would be arousing.
aaron_haynes
+2 -0
Man give Teodor the merkin, he's unconscious anyways. Take the reins of your asshole subconscious, Beef! BECOME THE RULING BODY DUDE
Man give Teodor the merkin, he's unconscious anyways. Take the reins of your asshole subconscious, Beef! BECOME THE RULING BODY DUDE
anonymous
+3 -0
Mal Jovi
Mal Jovi
spectre
+0 -0
Yeah, did you know his FATHER is a hairdresser who invented and maintained the BJ 'do? I hate his 'do more than his fucking music, even. And he was on Fresh Air recently. He does not belong on Fresh Air. Rule #2: Life's too short to listen to heavy metal musicians talk about their "art."
(Rule #1: Life's too short for a 736 page book called "Sexual Personae." Yes, this is a real book written by a semi-famous pseudo-intellectual who gets to be on TV and is taken seriously and everything.)
Yeah, did you know his FATHER is a hairdresser who invented and maintained the BJ 'do? I hate his 'do more than his fucking music, even. And he was on Fresh Air recently. He does not belong on Fresh Air. Rule #2: Life's too short to listen to heavy metal musicians talk about their "art."
(Rule #1: Life's too short for a 736 page book called "Sexual Personae." Yes, this is a real book written by a semi-famous pseudo-intellectual who gets to be on TV and is taken seriously and everything.)
awksedperl
+0 -0
Bon Jovi is not heavy metal, just Poison with delusions of dignity.
I agree with you for the most part about Paglia, though she does seem less deluded than other feminist intellectuals (or other humanities intellectuals with a feminist bent, or whatever the correct term is).
Bon Jovi is not heavy metal, just Poison with delusions of dignity.
I agree with you for the most part about Paglia, though she does seem less deluded than other feminist intellectuals (or other humanities intellectuals with a feminist bent, or whatever the correct term is).
granularsilica
+0 -0
Camille rules!
Quick quote: "If you live in rock and roll, as I do, you see the reality of sex, of male lust and women being aroused by male lust. It attracts women. It doesn't repel them."
More here: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/camille_paglia.html
Camille rules!
Quick quote: "If you live in rock and roll, as I do, you see the reality of sex, of male lust and women being aroused by male lust. It attracts women. It doesn't repel them."
More here: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/camille_paglia.html
thegoblins
+0 -0
women like sex whatwhatWHAAAT!
women like sex whatwhatWHAAAT!
granularsilica
+0 -0
Not the point -- male lust arouses them, contrary to all the dating movies where nice guys win.
Not the point -- male lust arouses them, contrary to all the dating movies where nice guys win.
ratacattt
+0 -0
that is the point.. the stereotype of the woman is this being that gets aroused by romantic asexual stuff;... -- the idea of a woman experiencing and/or being attracted to lust verges on taboo...
(note my clever use of a long dash, semicolon, and ellipse, all in one shot)
that is the point.. the stereotype of the woman is this being that gets aroused by romantic asexual stuff;... -- the idea of a woman experiencing and/or being attracted to lust verges on taboo...
(note my clever use of a long dash, semicolon, and ellipse, all in one shot)
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
nice guys dont lose. stupid and weak guys lose.
nice guys dont lose. stupid and weak guys lose.
thegoblins
+0 -0
Nice guys have lust too.
Nice guys have lust too.
ratacattt
+1 -1
( F - Y - F ) ???
( F - Y - F ) ???
irien
+4 -0
"Fuck You Friday"? Strange intro to a RBeef nightmare, but that's my best guess.
"Fuck You Friday"? Strange intro to a RBeef nightmare, but that's my best guess.
aaron_haynes
+2 -0
His subconscious is the one giving the fuck you on this friday.
His subconscious is the one giving the fuck you on this friday.
raticus
+0 -0
I agree.
Subconscious: "Oh, would you like some relaxing oxygen? Too bad, have a merkin! Breathe deep! Oh no, it isn't working?? Try harder! Now you die!"
I agree.
Subconscious: "Oh, would you like some relaxing oxygen? Too bad, have a merkin! Breathe deep! Oh no, it isn't working?? Try harder! Now you die!"
aaron_haynes
+0 -0
Now you die, with your mouth a pubic wig. I bet this one gets a gold star in your nightmare journal.
Now you die, with your mouth a pubic wig. I bet this one gets a gold star in your nightmare journal.
zombiezero
+2 -2
-or-
Face Your Fear (or the other way around?)
-or-
Face Your Fear (or the other way around?)
neonfreon
+1 -0
fuck your face
fuck your face
falseprophet
+0 -0
It looks like a woman's cleavage with very misshapen nipples.
It looks like a woman's cleavage with very misshapen nipples.
achtung
+1 -0
that's what babies do
that's what babies do
cromar
+20 -0
F - Y - F = -Y
F - Y - F = -Y
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Negative you, too, my good man. Negative you, too.
Negative you, too, my good man. Negative you, too.
omegatron
+0 -0
(·Y·)
(·Y·)
omegatron
+0 -0
(assetbar!)
(assetbar!)
vegasrebel29
+0 -0
Lee? Jim?
This is what happens when your captain is not a raucous alcoholic squirrel.
Lee? Jim?
This is what happens when your captain is not a raucous alcoholic squirrel.
srikamaraja
+3 -0
THIS PLANE IS F-F-F-FUCKED!!!
THIS PLANE IS F-F-F-FUCKED!!!
fady
+2 -0
Roast Beef does not sleep well.
Roast Beef does not sleep well.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Holy shit, yes!
Holy shit, yes!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Notice also T went right back to sleep. Thaaaat guy...
Notice also T went right back to sleep. Thaaaat guy...
raticus
+1 -0
Just semi-consciously puts on the oxygen mask like he would hit the alarm clock without completely waking up. No memory of it. Will wake up in a few minutes very confused
Just semi-consciously puts on the oxygen mask like he would hit the alarm clock without completely waking up. No memory of it. Will wake up in a few minutes very confused
silvereyes
+2 -0
Teodor:
Probably set the alarm clock ahead of when he wanted to crash so he could have a few extra minutes of blissful 'oxygen-mask sleep'.
Roast Beef:
You're there. Having a fairly. relaxing. dream - the airplane crashing. Reach for oxygen mask, assured that this is what to do in this situation. You have prepared for this. Every day. Mirror. It turns into a merkin. OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
You awake from your dream. Find Lyle. He has spent 3.14 hours Google'ing "your Mom's merkin".
Teodor:
Probably set the alarm clock ahead of when he wanted to crash so he could have a few extra minutes of blissful 'oxygen-mask sleep'.
Roast Beef:
You're there. Having a fairly. relaxing. dream - the airplane crashing. Reach for oxygen mask, assured that this is what to do in this situation. You have prepared for this. Every day. Mirror. It turns into a merkin. OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
You awake from your dream. Find Lyle. He has spent 3.14 hours Google'ing "your Mom's merkin".
snachicat
+0 -0
almost pi hours.
today is pi day.
i like pie.
almost pi hours.
today is pi day.
i like pie.
scorpio_nadir
+3 -0
The recent earthquake in Chile altered the length of a terrestrial day and changed the earth's orbit, yet pi remains constant.
Oh pi, are there any women as constant, yet flaky tender as you?
Answer: YES! EMPIRICALLY!
The recent earthquake in Chile altered the length of a terrestrial day and changed the earth's orbit, yet pi remains constant.
Oh pi, are there any women as constant, yet flaky tender as you?
Answer: YES! EMPIRICALLY!
thegoblins
+1 -0
Being totally irrational yet transcendental at the same time can make a playa in this town...
Being totally irrational yet transcendental at the same time can make a playa in this town...
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
:)
Can hugs be defined in terms of pi?
I think maybe, yes
:)
Can hugs be defined in terms of pi?
I think maybe, yes
thegoblins
+0 -0
I had a budgie but it died.
I had a budgie but it died.
i_love_kate
+0 -0
Are you sure it's not just pining for the fjords?
I am sorry that I do not have a more obscure reference for you here, thegoblins.
Are you sure it's not just pining for the fjords?
I am sorry that I do not have a more obscure reference for you here, thegoblins.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Funny story: I'm going to visit a fjord pretty soon. Just found it funny.
Funny story: I'm going to visit a fjord pretty soon. Just found it funny.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Or dead, most likely. Yes that's right, he will wake up dead.
Or dead, most likely. Yes that's right, he will wake up dead.
lexsenthur
+0 -0
I wonder what Teadore will drive in Hell.
I wonder what Teadore will drive in Hell.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I thought Brats were standard but T might be stuck with Ray's Escalade.
I thought Brats were standard but T might be stuck with Ray's Escalade.
mrcaruso
+0 -0
note the fancy label on the merkin -- looks like something cartilage head would do -- perhaps HE is saying 'fuck you'
note the fancy label on the merkin -- looks like something cartilage head would do -- perhaps HE is saying 'fuck you'
nice-on-water
+1 -0
I'd call that fake fancy, like the labels of nylon stockings at a CVS, all using French Script MS or Brush Script Std, trying to have airs when it is completely unnecessary to have airs.
I'd call that fake fancy, like the labels of nylon stockings at a CVS, all using French Script MS or Brush Script Std, trying to have airs when it is completely unnecessary to have airs.
pmbarrett
+1 -0
so basically you buy nylons at CVS?
so basically you buy nylons at CVS?
nice-on-water
+4 -0
That is obviously the only thing I meant for anyone to take away from that comment, yes.
That is obviously the only thing I meant for anyone to take away from that comment, yes.
pmbarrett
+3 -0
are you... wearing them now?
are you... wearing them now?
nice-on-water
+3 -0
I am always wearing them. I am wearing them so hard.
I am always wearing them. I am wearing them so hard.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
a/s/l?
a/s/l?
nice-on-water
+1 -0
nylonstockings/nylonstockings/nylonstockings
nylonstockings/nylonstockings/nylonstockings
thegoblins
+2 -0
we can't afford the silk when there's a war on
we can't afford the silk when there's a war on
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Funny story, women during The War used to draw lines on their legs to create the illusion of stockings. They had special line making devices and everything.
Funny story, women during The War used to draw lines on their legs to create the illusion of stockings. They had special line making devices and everything.
rowboat
+18 -0
Imagine how surprised dudes were when they finally managed to get the stockings off their dates only to find a sickening mess of gore.
Imagine how surprised dudes were when they finally managed to get the stockings off their dates only to find a sickening mess of gore.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
It's like I want to lame you but at the same time... don't.
It's like I want to lame you but at the same time... don't.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
so basically you draw lines on your legs to create the illusion of stockings?
so basically you draw lines on your legs to create the illusion of stockings?
granularsilica
+0 -0
In the olden days, nylons had a seam, which chicks needed to keep nice and straight on the back of their calves.
In the olden days, nylons had a seam, which chicks needed to keep nice and straight on the back of their calves.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Nowadays, they just get tattoos.
Nowadays, they just get tattoos.
linguine
+1 -0
I doubt it's cartilage head, but I bet you that merkin is hecho en mexico.
I doubt it's cartilage head, but I bet you that merkin is hecho en mexico.
pmbarrett
+0 -0
the best ones always are.
the best ones always are.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
That merkin looks just like Africa....
Queue up Toto, not Bon Jovi.
That merkin looks just like Africa....
Queue up Toto, not Bon Jovi.
usversusthem
+0 -0
And shoot Karl Wolf in the fuckin' head.
And shoot Karl Wolf in the fuckin' head.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Seems reasonable.
Seems reasonable.
gbvhead
+0 -0
You're totally right. CH is saying fuck you to RB for cheating death.
You're totally right. CH is saying fuck you to RB for cheating death.
skoora
+0 -0
Ok, ok, I can dig this.
Ok, ok, I can dig this.
cbtbone
+3 -0
well...at least Fuck You Friday is back...?
well...at least Fuck You Friday is back...?
granularsilica
+1 -0
It never really went away.
It never really went away.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
It was in our hearts the entire time?
It was in our hearts the entire time?
shelbydavis
+0 -0
Just waiting to bust back out like some Ripley-Scott-style creature.
Just waiting to bust back out like some Ripley-Scott-style creature.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Goo.
Goo.
rowboat
+0 -0
Like Roy Batty?
Like Roy Batty?
rowboat
+0 -0
Also: Ridley , goddamn you.
Also: Ridley , goddamn you.
fuzzyshoo
+1 -0
don't you think this scenario is like my emotions right now? hella crazy.
don't you think this scenario is like my emotions right now? hella crazy.
implode
+4 -0
What is it with Chris and merkins? That's the second time I've seen them mentioned in Achewood recently, and they're not generally objects I see mentioned more often than never.
Perhaps he is in the pocket of Big Wig?
What is it with Chris and merkins? That's the second time I've seen them mentioned in Achewood recently, and they're not generally objects I see mentioned more often than never.
Perhaps he is in the pocket of Big Wig?
linguine
+0 -0
look at your icon, like you're not =p
look at your icon, like you're not =p
epicurus
+1 -0
If this is a dream, explain why Teodor is correctly asleep during a plane crash?
If this is a dream, explain why Teodor is correctly asleep during a plane crash?
linguine
+1 -0
I'm sure this is one of Roast Beef's many worst nightmares.
I'm sure this is one of Roast Beef's many worst nightmares.
thedrizzle
+0 -0
Quite possibly one of the better ones.
Quite possibly one of the better ones.
snachicat
+0 -0
the best worst nightmare!
the best worst nightmare!
rotfl
+44 -0
This is what happens when you fly on "A Merkin" Airlines.
This is what happens when you fly on "A Merkin" Airlines.
hexjumper
+1 -0
My hat is off to you, you magnificent son of a bitch.
My hat is off to you, you magnificent son of a bitch.
scorpio_nadir
+9 -0
Their planes are notorious for nose-diving.
Their planes are notorious for nose-diving.
mockereo
+0 -0
Their planes have luscious carpet
Their planes have luscious carpet
dybrar
+3 -1
They do go down a lot.
They do go down a lot.
salvar
+0 -0
No lice, though. :D
No lice, though. :D
gladi8orrex
+1 -2
did joke similar to dis full 4 hours b4 this dood. lamed for unoriginality
did joke similar to dis full 4 hours b4 this dood. lamed for unoriginality
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
his is better.
his is better.
gladi8orrex
+2 -0
i know ur GF said this to you recently in reference to my sex performance i forgot my point but she wont be forgetting mine any time soon
i know ur GF said this to you recently in reference to my sex performance i forgot my point but she wont be forgetting mine any time soon
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
that joke is on you. that person you are referring to is not a girl.
that joke is on you. that person you are referring to is not a girl.
thegoblins
+0 -0
So you are dating a ladyboy?
So you are dating a ladyboy?
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
we're both in deep shit bro. cant belive u'd yoshmitsu this shit onto me an urself. mad balls. prop chub inc.
we're both in deep shit bro. cant belive u'd yoshmitsu this shit onto me an urself. mad balls. prop chub inc.
invidious
+2 -0
They charge you for handling your bag.
They charge you for handling your bag.
nice-on-water
+4 -0
They face steep competition from Aer Lingus.
Fuck.
They face steep competition from Aer Lingus.
Fuck.
shelbydavis
+2 -0
Cuntinental.
Cuntinental.
invidious
+2 -0
AirTranny
Jet Blue Balls
Mid-Breast Express
AirTranny
Jet Blue Balls
Mid-Breast Express
raticus
+1 -0
Air Candida
Air Candida
nice-on-water
+0 -0
(Volt)air(e) Candide.
(Volt)air(e) Candide.
shelbydavis
+1 -0
Volt (amper)e c(oulomb)
Fuck.
Volt (amper)e c(oulomb)
Fuck.
raticus
+0 -0
WetJet
WetJet
mockereo
+4 -0
Virgin Airlines is pretty much good as is?
Virgin Airlines is pretty much good as is?
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Clitish Airlines? We are scraping the barrel, now.
Clitish Airlines? We are scraping the barrel, now.
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Clitish Air ways .
Clitish Air ways .
wingspan
+0 -0
I suppose SAS could just go to ASS.
I suppose SAS could just go to ASS.
smilebuddha
+0 -0
I BOACed your mother last night.
I BOACed your mother last night.
granularsilica
+1 -0
She went BOING
She went BOING
greenkoolayd
+1 -0
sha-WING!
sha-WING!
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
stiff competition
-missed it by * * that much
stiff competition
-missed it by * * that much
nice-on-water
+0 -0
FUCK.
FUCK.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
But how about it's Lingus meaning tongue and not dick and steep is kind of like deep like deep with the tongue and it's 3:30 am and I should be in bed.
But how about it's Lingus meaning tongue and not dick and steep is kind of like deep like deep with the tongue and it's 3:30 am and I should be in bed.
teezee
+1 -0
"A-Merkin Airlines; To sleep, perchance to scream~"
"A-Merkin Airlines; To sleep, perchance to scream~"
gladi8orrex
+11 -0
no wonder roast befes still married molly despite alla troubles they got
he goes down easily and often!
my bad yall i been kinda sick
no wonder roast befes still married molly despite alla troubles they got
he goes down easily and often!
my bad yall i been kinda sick
plummet
+0 -0
What the fuck dude
What the fuck dude
tonk
+0 -0
It may not be what Jon Bon Jovi had in mind when he sang "Blaze of Glory," but it is what Enuff Z'Nuff had in mind when they wrote "Fly High Michelle." Oddly enough.
It may not be what Jon Bon Jovi had in mind when he sang "Blaze of Glory," but it is what Enuff Z'Nuff had in mind when they wrote "Fly High Michelle." Oddly enough.
katsura
+2 -0
Beef gonna RUIN that merkin.
Beef gonna RUIN that merkin.
westsider8
+2 -0
Enjoy it now, Beef. Next week I hear the airlines will be charging $25 for the pleasure of huffing that merkin.
Enjoy it now, Beef. Next week I hear the airlines will be charging $25 for the pleasure of huffing that merkin.
mockereo
+0 -0
really? they haven't instituted the merkin surcharge yet on the airlines in your region? we've had those since '04!
really? they haven't instituted the merkin surcharge yet on the airlines in your region? we've had those since '04!
nice-on-water
+1 -0
Fucking RyanAir!
Fucking RyanAir!
jeffspaulding
+0 -0
At least he won't die confused for asexual forcemeat.
You should always have a merkin handy if you travel with Glen of Imaal Terriers.
At least he won't die confused for asexual forcemeat.
You should always have a merkin handy if you travel with Glen of Imaal Terriers.
sherief
+0 -0
T seems to be stoically saying his Fuck-you-Fridays to the plane crash as he sleeps through it.
T seems to be stoically saying his Fuck-you-Fridays to the plane crash as he sleeps through it.
gelter
+0 -0
Oh God, today is SUCH a Fuck You Friday. You read my mind, Chris.
Oh God, today is SUCH a Fuck You Friday. You read my mind, Chris.
streever
+0 -0
Awesome. More like this, please.
Awesome. More like this, please.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Re: merkin. What do those little clips attach to -- skin?
Re: merkin. What do those little clips attach to -- skin?
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Some kind of...pelvic bone...hooks? I shudder to imagine.
Some kind of...pelvic bone...hooks? I shudder to imagine.
thegoblins
+0 -0
anterior superior iliac spine
*kills self*
anterior superior iliac spine
*kills self*
brokeaccount
+0 -0
Garter belt. Classy as hell, man.
Garter belt. Classy as hell, man.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Garter belt! OF course, how could I have forgotten -- I was actually alive when women wore those things, although not old enough to take one off. Then panty hose appeared.
Garter belt! OF course, how could I have forgotten -- I was actually alive when women wore those things, although not old enough to take one off. Then panty hose appeared.
neonfreon
+2 -0
i think onstad is insane
i think onstad is insane
lynnym
+1 -0
Well, obviously. It's a beautiful illness.
Well, obviously. It's a beautiful illness.
heyo
+5 -0
I legit hope there is not a follow up to this. There is no way adding to it or giving it context will improve it.
I legit hope there is not a follow up to this. There is no way adding to it or giving it context will improve it.
neonfreon
+0 -0
the plane has crashed, the dream is over
the plane has crashed, the dream is over
dumase
+0 -0
I don't understand why the airlines used a merkin as the oxygen mask? Or why Teodor's oxygen mask is a regular oxygen mask while Beef's is not? I don't get this strip. Like, at all.
I don't understand why the airlines used a merkin as the oxygen mask? Or why Teodor's oxygen mask is a regular oxygen mask while Beef's is not? I don't get this strip. Like, at all.
fady
+0 -0
Roast Beef is having a nightmare.
Roast Beef is having a nightmare.
greenkoolayd
+0 -1
his name describes his intellectual capacity. i bet his first name is alexandre.
his name describes his intellectual capacity. i bet his first name is alexandre.
daidai
+17 -0
Earlier today, I was at a red light waiting to turn left after an exhausting trip to buy all the shit I need to bring back to school. The light turns green -- I hit the gas. About 3 feet into the intersection a very ugly woman in the non-turning lane to my right cuts straight across my lane and turned left. The two cars behind me were quick enough to brake, but my car could have been owned.
I have never been a mild-tempered person when driving. I chased the woman's shitty gold Honda with my shitty red Hyundai down 3 blocks to the next red light. I pulled up next to her, and motioned for her to roll down her window.
The woman apparently had no idea she cut me off, she rolled it down.
I shouted: "Excuse me, do you know what day it is?"
"Er...it's Friday?" the ugly woman quipped.
"Yes it is. FUCK YOU!"
The "fuck you" was shouted quite loudly. I don't mean this in like a Nice Pete way, but I was really angry and am a loud person in general.
I rolled up my window intending to speed away in victory when I noticed the light was still red and there were 2 cars in front of me. The ugly woman was still staring at me. She may have been shouting too.
I waited approximately 20 seconds in this awkward position, the light changed, and I realized my lane was moving slower than hers. She passed me while showing me her favorite finger.
I drove home and decided I needed to share my Fuck You Friday moment.
Earlier today, I was at a red light waiting to turn left after an exhausting trip to buy all the shit I need to bring back to school. The light turns green -- I hit the gas. About 3 feet into the intersection a very ugly woman in the non-turning lane to my right cuts straight across my lane and turned left. The two cars behind me were quick enough to brake, but my car could have been owned.
I have never been a mild-tempered person when driving. I chased the woman's shitty gold Honda with my shitty red Hyundai down 3 blocks to the next red light. I pulled up next to her, and motioned for her to roll down her window.
The woman apparently had no idea she cut me off, she rolled it down.
I shouted: "Excuse me, do you know what day it is?"
"Er...it's Friday?" the ugly woman quipped.
"Yes it is. FUCK YOU!"
The "fuck you" was shouted quite loudly. I don't mean this in like a Nice Pete way, but I was really angry and am a loud person in general.
I rolled up my window intending to speed away in victory when I noticed the light was still red and there were 2 cars in front of me. The ugly woman was still staring at me. She may have been shouting too.
I waited approximately 20 seconds in this awkward position, the light changed, and I realized my lane was moving slower than hers. She passed me while showing me her favorite finger.
I drove home and decided I needed to share my Fuck You Friday moment.
granularsilica
+0 -0
Car revenge often backfires.
Car revenge often backfires.
dangelder
+1 -0
The road system is generally designed that way.
The road system is generally designed that way.
lateadopter
+6 -0
A year ago, some young and pretty woman in a Porsche Boxster did the same thing to me entering a mall, except she was in the right-turn-only lane and I was going straight.
I had enough time to consider not putting on the brakes and just T-boning her. If she survived, the accident would have been her fault, and I'd get a new car. The kid had spilled some milk that got under the carpet, so that really would have killed two birds with one stone.
But in the second-tenth of a second, as the pretty woman laid rubber across my path, survival instinct kicked in and I hit the brakes.
I still regret it.
- now taking applications for "...that I T-boned?" and "laid rubber" jokes. No more bird jokes will be accepted.
A year ago, some young and pretty woman in a Porsche Boxster did the same thing to me entering a mall, except she was in the right-turn-only lane and I was going straight.
I had enough time to consider not putting on the brakes and just T-boning her. If she survived, the accident would have been her fault, and I'd get a new car. The kid had spilled some milk that got under the carpet, so that really would have killed two birds with one stone.
But in the second-tenth of a second, as the pretty woman laid rubber across my path, survival instinct kicked in and I hit the brakes.
I still regret it.
- now taking applications for "...that I T-boned?" and "laid rubber" jokes. No more bird jokes will be accepted.
ratacattt
+0 -0
was in St. Louis going to a show with my friend's girl friend in my 2000 hyundai elantra. She dropped her lighter or something. So we're rummaging around for it, and I find this piece of dried up burger, so we're staring at the kinda weird and gross remnant of a burger, and I run a red light, and damn near head-on with a car turning left. She says something and I'm like, oh shit, and I swerve hard to the left, slamming her (my passenger) against the door, her coffee cup a pop 'n rum surprisingly goes mostly unspilled. I missed the car and just kept going. she was okay, but rather freaked out about almost having an accident. I imagine the people in the other car were kinda tripped out too. Didn't trip me out, but it was more interesting than the average day. note to self - try to be more careful when driving in unfamiliar cities...
was in St. Louis going to a show with my friend's girl friend in my 2000 hyundai elantra. She dropped her lighter or something. So we're rummaging around for it, and I find this piece of dried up burger, so we're staring at the kinda weird and gross remnant of a burger, and I run a red light, and damn near head-on with a car turning left. She says something and I'm like, oh shit, and I swerve hard to the left, slamming her (my passenger) against the door, her coffee cup a pop 'n rum surprisingly goes mostly unspilled. I missed the car and just kept going. she was okay, but rather freaked out about almost having an accident. I imagine the people in the other car were kinda tripped out too. Didn't trip me out, but it was more interesting than the average day. note to self - try to be more careful when driving in unfamiliar cities...
teezee
+0 -0
Today a stranger was a cock to me and did not wage peace.
Today a stranger was a cock to me and did not wage peace.
scorpio_nadir
+0 -0
karma chubby. Woe unto those who "think" they can profit from a disaster.
karma chubby. Woe unto those who "think" they can profit from a disaster.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
What a dipstick.
What a dipstick.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Car humor! Hilarious!
Car humor! Hilarious!
nice-on-water
+0 -0
This is almost as unfunny as my joke.
This is almost as unfunny as my joke.
bjorntd
+0 -0
Derivative humor, by its nature, is but a pale pretender to its launchpad joke.
Derivative humor, by its nature, is but a pale pretender to its launchpad joke.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I cannot even give two damns anymore.
I cannot even give two damns anymore.
dybrar
+0 -0
You could have gotten in as many as two and a half eight second screams during that time, you know.
You could have gotten in as many as two and a half eight second screams during that time, you know.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
How obnoxious. i mean really
How obnoxious. i mean really
machineelf
+0 -0
Previously on LOST . . .
Previously on LOST . . .
onegoodmonkey
+0 -0
Yay!
Yay!
subrosian
+8 -0
You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife. -2PAC
You wife to a player but I fucked your claim. -Allstate
Fuck you Achewood. Fuck continuity, fuck story arcs, fuck Roast Beef in his god-damned depressed little arteries. He wanted to die, he knows this is how it has to end. Inhale those fake pubes SUCK THEM IN. This is dying, this is FRIDAY.
You claim to be a player but I fucked your wife. -2PAC
You wife to a player but I fucked your claim. -Allstate
Fuck you Achewood. Fuck continuity, fuck story arcs, fuck Roast Beef in his god-damned depressed little arteries. He wanted to die, he knows this is how it has to end. Inhale those fake pubes SUCK THEM IN. This is dying, this is FRIDAY.
diplomat76
+1 -0
You... you just kept saying Fuck to things until there was nothing left.
You... you just kept saying Fuck to things until there was nothing left.
thedrizzle
+1 -0
You can never run out of things. As a man of the world I know this.
You can never run out of things. As a man of the world I know this.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
you can never run out of things to say 'fuck' to.
you can never run out of things to say 'fuck' to.
snachicat
+0 -0
never.
never.
jaminspoon
+3 -0
Fuck that.
Fuck that.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
damn. how long have you been holding that in?
damn. how long have you been holding that in?
thegoblins
+0 -0
What in the world is this shit.
What in the world is this shit.
smallblackdog
+0 -0
copro mundi - the shit of the world
copro mundi - the shit of the world
nice-on-water
+2 -0
toot de monde: worldfart.
toot de monde: worldfart.
badlion
+0 -1
I happen to actually be Bon Jovi, and this is precisely what I had mind you jerk.
I happen to actually be Bon Jovi, and this is precisely what I had mind you jerk.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
Dear Mr. Bon Jovi
Shut the FUCK up with your goddamn music. You ASSHOLE.
Love
nice-on-water
Dear Mr. Bon Jovi
Shut the FUCK up with your goddamn music. You ASSHOLE.
Love
nice-on-water
thegoblins
+0 -0
*offers a glass*
*offers a glass*
nice-on-water
+0 -0
*takes, dumps contents, steps on glass, withdraws flask, swigs offers*
*takes, dumps contents, steps on glass, withdraws flask, swigs offers*
thegoblins
+0 -0
*accepts. There is a grue in it*
*accepts. There is a grue in it*
professordoctor
+0 -0
Was it pitch black? Grues only come out in pitch black .
Was it pitch black? Grues only come out in pitch black .
srikamaraja
+0 -0
Teodor cannot be bothered to wake up and die. He's doin' this the way he's done everything in life. His way.
(also, he knows that he kicks it from shock associated with massive weight loss anyway)
Teodor cannot be bothered to wake up and die. He's doin' this the way he's done everything in life. His way.
(also, he knows that he kicks it from shock associated with massive weight loss anyway)
smallblackdog
+0 -0
It's actually a pre-tumescent penis with wings
It's actually a pre-tumescent penis with wings
pygmalion00
+0 -0
I cannot decide which is worse: having this happen, or finding out that your air-sick bag is pre-used.
I cannot decide which is worse: having this happen, or finding out that your air-sick bag is pre-used.
ratacattt
+0 -0
worse is when your merkin is pre-used
worse is when your merkin is pre-used
nice-on-water
+0 -0
"I'm nauseous...I'm nauseous..."
"I'm nauseous...I'm nauseous..."
nice-on-water
+1 -0
You know what, stylistically this is one of the best comics since the last Cartilage Head series. It's a pleasure to look at and since I can't end a sentence with a preposition I will end it NOW.
You know what, stylistically this is one of the best comics since the last Cartilage Head series. It's a pleasure to look at and since I can't end a sentence with a preposition I will end it NOW.
stereo
+2 -0
It is at which a pleasure, look.
It is at which a pleasure, look.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
YOU CAN END SENTENCES IN PROPOSITIONS BUSINESS MEN DO IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME DON'T BE STUPID
YOU CAN END SENTENCES IN PROPOSITIONS BUSINESS MEN DO IT ALL THE FUCKING TIME DON'T BE STUPID
nice-on-water
+6 -0
Businessmen don't have the same morals as me faggot .
Businessmen don't have the same morals as me faggot .
gladi8orrex
+3 -0
sympathy chub. hope you patch tings up wit ur gf bro tell nadine i said sup
sympathy chub. hope you patch tings up wit ur gf bro tell nadine i said sup
jaminspoon
+0 -0
Nothing tastes as bittersweet as sympathy chub.
Nothing tastes as bittersweet as sympathy chub.
thedrizzle
+2 -0
I am curious to know how you know this, yet not curious enough to ask.
I am curious to know how you know this, yet not curious enough to ask.
plummet
+0 -0
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNED
OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNED
nice-on-water
+0 -0
thanx bro its bin hard but wen u got frens liek u its jus a bit ezier lol :') its jus she still got mystuff u no? i still got hurz...is liek were still 2gedder but it aint be man, neva gunna, bitch borke my h8rt 2 manny goddam times
thanx bro its bin hard but wen u got frens liek u its jus a bit ezier lol :') its jus she still got mystuff u no? i still got hurz...is liek were still 2gedder but it aint be man, neva gunna, bitch borke my h8rt 2 manny goddam times
thegoblins
+1 -0
Get your stuff back now. It's very important to secure your assets after Ma Bell splinters. Trust me. You'll kick yourself for losing that cute red raincoat and that sexy bra when you next try to go flashing people.
Get your stuff back now. It's very important to secure your assets after Ma Bell splinters. Trust me. You'll kick yourself for losing that cute red raincoat and that sexy bra when you next try to go flashing people.
granularsilica
+0 -0
That old preposition-end thing is complete carp made up by dudes who wanted all languages to be like Latin. You can split infinitives, too.
That old preposition-end thing is complete carp made up by dudes who wanted all languages to be like Latin. You can split infinitives, too.
nice-on-water
+0 -0
I know all that but I'm trying to follow the language properly before I get all Beckettian on it.
I know all that but I'm trying to follow the language properly before I get all Beckettian on it.
i_love_kate
+1 -0
Teodor is so used to fatal plane crashes that he puts his oxygen mask on in his sleep.
Teodor is so used to fatal plane crashes that he puts his oxygen mask on in his sleep.
fuckyoufriday
+0 -0
fruck you... frrrrriday!
fruck you... frrrrriday!
ratacattt
+0 -0
I hope Philippe wasn't in a pet carrier in the cargo hold
I hope Philippe wasn't in a pet carrier in the cargo hold
snachicat
+0 -0
hahahahahahahaha
hahahahahahahaha
lolsworth
+0 -0
This is the captain speaking, we've entered a patch of Kirby Dots
This is the captain speaking, we've entered a patch of Kirby Dots
streever
+4 -0
Just stop encouraging him to work this into continuity. This is a brilliant stand alone strip. Achewood is at it's best when Onstad isn't holding your stupid mucous covered hand and leading you on a god damn tour of the enchanted wonderland.
Just stop encouraging him to work this into continuity. This is a brilliant stand alone strip. Achewood is at it's best when Onstad isn't holding your stupid mucous covered hand and leading you on a god damn tour of the enchanted wonderland.
thegoblins
+1 -0
The man speaks wisdom from his sexy mouth.
The man speaks wisdom from his sexy mouth.
streever
+0 -0
You live!
You live!
thegoblins
+0 -0
yeah, I live...sporadically.
yeah, I live...sporadically.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Warn us when you start spawning please.
Warn us when you start spawning please.
greenkoolayd
+0 -0
i saw that on the internet once.
i saw that on the internet once.
gladi8orrex
+8 -0
mucos covered hand... enchanted wonderland. "
so you wrote that and still didn't make it into a poem. okay
just the encouragement
let this one stand alone,
on its own--brilliantly.
let this one stay outside
the borders of continuity
onstad works his best
at his own behest.
he alone wears
he aint the wicked witch--
of the west
this aint oz
he aint george lucas
he doesnt needa hold ya hand
(which is covered in mucus)
and lead you through
an enchanted (goddamn) wonderland
emeril says bam
mucos covered hand... enchanted wonderland. "
so you wrote that and still didn't make it into a poem. okay
just the encouragement
let this one stand alone,
on its own--brilliantly.
let this one stay outside
the borders of continuity
onstad works his best
at his own behest.
he alone wears
he aint the wicked witch--
of the west
this aint oz
he aint george lucas
he doesnt needa hold ya hand
(which is covered in mucus)
and lead you through
an enchanted (goddamn) wonderland
emeril says bam
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
LINE EDIT:
'of the west' can b disregarded was hang-over form previous draft jus'... jus' do away wit it
LINE EDIT:
'of the west' can b disregarded was hang-over form previous draft jus'... jus' do away wit it
ratacattt
+0 -0
your rhymes got so much punch they took down the assetbar. again!
your rhymes got so much punch they took down the assetbar. again!
streever
+0 -0
that is beautiful and I am giving you so many chubbies for that
I knew you had good english. I believed in you. Thank you for never disappointing me.
that is beautiful and I am giving you so many chubbies for that
I knew you had good english. I believed in you. Thank you for never disappointing me.
mr-siegal
+0 -0
Me too!
Me too!
puguglypress
+2 -0
I had my doubts at first but you really brought it together at the end with the emeril line
I had my doubts at first but you really brought it together at the end with the emeril line
streever
+0 -0
chubbied for your doubts, which I shared as well
Here is to being human.
chubbied for your doubts, which I shared as well
Here is to being human.
thegoblins
+0 -0
It's a veritable chub fest up ins
It's a veritable chub fest up ins
thedrizzle
+0 -0
Oh god not one of those again I'm still so sore
Oh god not one of those again I'm still so sore
neonfreon
+0 -0
question: when are RB and T together alone except when Phillipe is in trouble?
also: how did they afford the first class seats? at first it's natural to think Ray must have payed for the trip, but given the strip history, Phillipe may be the funding source here.
question: when are RB and T together alone except when Phillipe is in trouble?
also: how did they afford the first class seats? at first it's natural to think Ray must have payed for the trip, but given the strip history, Phillipe may be the funding source here.
streever
+0 -0
wait what
this has nothing to do with continuity
it's a FYF (don't be coy you know what that means)
come on man
wait what
this has nothing to do with continuity
it's a FYF (don't be coy you know what that means)
come on man
granularsilica
+1 -0
To sleep, perhance to FUCKING DIE!
To sleep, perhance to FUCKING DIE!
crom
+0 -0
My favorite part about this strip is that the merkin comes in the same style of bag as shitty 99 cent candy, as if a merkin is something that you would pick up in the check-out of a mom-and-pop grocery store.
My favorite part about this strip is that the merkin comes in the same style of bag as shitty 99 cent candy, as if a merkin is something that you would pick up in the check-out of a mom-and-pop grocery store.
granularsilica
+0 -0
You mean your local grocery DOESN'T stock merkins?
You mean your local grocery DOESN'T stock merkins?
ratacattt
+0 -0
okay... etymology please... where the fuck does a word like merkin come from? If merkin is an onomatopoeia, then I don't want to know...
okay... etymology please... where the fuck does a word like merkin come from? If merkin is an onomatopoeia, then I don't want to know...
cromar
+1 -0
The OED says that it is "probably originally a variant of MALKIN n., or a parallel pet-form of the female forename Mary (compare the Middle English surnames Marekin, Marykin).
Bear in mind that merkin/malkin is also slang for the vagina, or even a false vagina.
Under "malkin" it states an etymology of: "the female forename Malkin < Mal, pet-form of the female forename Maud (compare Middle English forms Mald, Mold; compare also similar derogatory use in Welsh of the equivalent name Mald")
"Malkin" (in the sense apropos to this discussion) is defined as:
1a. A typical name (usu. derogatory) for: a lower-class, untidy, or sluttish woman, esp. a servant or country girl. In Scotland: an awkward or ungainly young girl. {dag}Also in various proverbial expressions, esp. there are more maids than Malkin (obs.).
b. The female genitals.
c. Maid Marian.
[IMGS OFF]
The OED says that it is "probably originally a variant of MALKIN n., or a parallel pet-form of the female forename Mary (compare the Middle English surnames Marekin, Marykin).
Bear in mind that merkin/malkin is also slang for the vagina, or even a false vagina.
Under "malkin" it states an etymology of: "the female forename Malkin < Mal, pet-form of the female forename Maud (compare Middle English forms Mald, Mold; compare also similar derogatory use in Welsh of the equivalent name Mald")
"Malkin" (in the sense apropos to this discussion) is defined as:
1a. A typical name (usu. derogatory) for: a lower-class, untidy, or sluttish woman, esp. a servant or country girl. In Scotland: an awkward or ungainly young girl. {dag}Also in various proverbial expressions, esp. there are more maids than Malkin (obs.).
b. The female genitals.
c. Maid Marian.
[IMGS OFF]
xenoterranos
+1 -0
I have never wanted IMGS to be ON so badly as now.
I have never wanted IMGS to be ON so badly as now.
gladi8orrex
+0 -0
advice 2 young rappahs. sample awesome shit. just... wow. makes all the difference somebody tell this to ja rule
advice 2 young rappahs. sample awesome shit. just... wow. makes all the difference somebody tell this to ja rule
neonfreon
+0 -0
the merkin looks like the wreckage smoke billowing up from the mountains.
the merkin looks like the wreckage smoke billowing up from the mountains.
scorpio_nadir
+1 -0
Sometimes a merkin is just a merkin.
Sometimes a merkin is just a merkin.
granularsilica
+0 -0
You could use one to light a cigar.
You could use one to light a cigar.
thedrizzle
+0 -0
There has got to be a joke about "jerkin' a merkin". Fill in this blank in the humorscape.
There has got to be a joke about "jerkin' a merkin". Fill in this blank in the humorscape.
tragicone
+0 -0
shit. This was a fuck you friday
shit. This was a fuck you friday
A comment left by ketamind was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Norsef, gladi8orrex, scion, lexiconrose, streever, mystkmanat, Shawgun, cbtbone, lonestar52, Panserbjorne, SPECTRE, kestral)
A comment left by dangelder was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by Carlyle, randombeing, atypicaloracle, whymog, cromar)
This describes my life right now better than a thousand monkeys typing a thousand emoticons.
Consider: in the top right panel, Teodor phases out of the dream briefly as he almost wakes up (thus becoming semi-transparent), but returns to normal as he goes back to sleep.
Consider: turbulence.
You can see the back of the seat through Teodor's head. Not the case with Roast Beef! He has something else entirely going on over there.
In this case I perceive Onstad experimenting with different graphics effects on the computer more than I perceive any sort of deliberate use of symbolism.
Of course it's just some turbulence. I just noticed the ghost effect and thought it was a fun way to look at it.
A comment left by ratacattt was marked lame too many times and excluded. (marked lame by enough_talk, dangelder, Stonecrab, streever, Jewpacabra)
nothing is more motivating to an artist than to see a dude with 4 t's in his name using a superiority-implying ellipsis while making the comment that his work has declined in value and quality. I checked.
You left out "... you fucking douchebag."
The number of studies supporting this evidence: 42.
The number of studies that prove that making up a number of studies to support your evidence is more effective than actually finding some: 67.
Normal service will resume shortly.
he was trolling. and jaminspoon is full of stupid things to say. at least i hate you for reasons other than your name or words hahahahaha
it's sad that someone with a genuinely interesting take on the comic gets lamed and called a troll
I gave this statement much consideration. Eventually I had to concede that at least thousand distinct emoticons probably do exist by now. This made me sad.
If you can't express an emotion by an emoticon, you simply weren't meant to feel it.
you know what pisses me off... word processors and message boards and instant messenger apps that change your emoticon into a graphical smiley face. The English language is being dessicated by a new generation of programmers and the fools who abide by such heretical programs. Fuck smiley faces, and fuck GUIs. Taking away the IMG tag is the best thing Assetbar ever did.
I agree with you 99%. I am also a fan of GUIs, particularly Gnome. I always wonder (and by always I mean once when I was stoned) what would happen if two different IM clients used different pictures for the same emoticon. I could be presenting myself as sarcastic and my friend could be seeing an angry face, for example. Kind of like schizophrenia.
that's so deep man
(my avatar is a
pokemonstoned sun is what i am kind of going off of here)So many chubbies for this.
;)
like, desiccated, as in dried out? or desecrated? or devastated? or "decimated" (which latter I hear every day in contexts that seem inappropriate).
I don't like emoticons turning into smiley faces either, in any case. But GUIs are my friend.
if your Merkin is not completely engorged perform normally; mojo is still flowing...
if a Magreaux Dog is seated next to you and passes out, you may consider that unconsciousness is probably your best option in which case don't bother with donning your own merkin or helping him with his.
Friday!!!
Face Your Fears?
"Fanny" Your Face?
Its another "Free Yeast" Festival!
The value and poignancy of a simple "fuck you" are greatly underrated these days.
FUCK YOU, that's my name!
Man, why do you even have an account here?
Its kinda a worst situation ever for beef.
hella circumstances
I don't either. Roast Beef get's a pubic wig instead of an oxygen mask.
And that's not funny? BWA-HA-HA ...